The Loud House (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 17 - ARGGH! You for Real?/Garage Banned - full transcript

♪♪

♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like ping pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach
the bathroom on time ♪

♪ Hey! Hey! Hey!
Leaping over laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can
smell for miles ♪

♪ Guy's gotta do
what he can to survive ♪

♪ In the Loud House,
in the Loud House ♪

♪ Duck, dodge,
push and shove ♪

♪ It's how
we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud House,
in the Loud House ♪



♪ One boy and ten girls ♪

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

♪ Loud! House! Loud! ♪

♪ Loud House! ♪ Poopoo!
*The Loud House*
Season 02 Episode 17

♪♪
Part-1
Title: "ARGGH! You for Real?"

♪♪

♪♪

MAN ON TV:
Welcome back to "Arggh!"

I'm Hunter Specter

and we're in a haunted salon
in Erie, Pennsylvania,

tracking the ghost
of Armando, the Hairdresser.

[door thuds]

Wait a minute,
I'm picking up something

on my "Arggh!"
ghost detector.



- [device clicks]
- [chair swivels]

HUNTER: [gasps]
There he is!

Now to trap him in my ghost
containment device.

♪♪ Dramatic music...

Ugh! Does anyone
sweep this floor?

[loud whoosh]

[objects clattering]

HUNTER:
He's on the run!

I'm gonna have
to improvise.

♪♪

Back! Back,
poncy hairdresser!

[wind gusting]

Got him...

by a hair, ha, ha!

- That was amazing!
- I know!

I thought
he was a goner.

When that chair
spun around,

I pee'd a little.

I'm gonna write
my weekly fan letter

to Hunter right now,
while I'm still excited.

HUNTER: Don't forget
to tune in next week

for more of "Arggh!" 's

tour of the 25 most haunted
places in America.

We'll be visiting a spooky
groundskeeper's house

at a cemetery in
Royal Woods, Michigan.

CLYDE & LINCOLN: Did he just
say Royal Woods, Michigan?

Now I pee'd a little.

This is it, Clyde.

Are you ready to watch
Hunter Specter in action?

I was born ready, Lincoln.

Well, actually, I was
born a month early,

so, I wasn't ready
for much of anything.

Whoa, who knew there were
this many "Arggh!" fans.

This is unacceptable.
We can't even see Hunter.

Don't worry, buddy.

I've got my trusty "Arggh!"
ghost-seeking periscope.

What do you see?

Some kind of cave...

with a lot of stalactites
and waxy-looking boulders.

MAN:
[snarling]

CLYDE & LINCOLN:
[nervous laughter]

Come on, Clyde,
I have a better idea.

BOTH:
[zooming]

Okay, "Arggh!" cadets,
this is it.

I'm going in.

But don't worry,
you'll be able to watch

all the paranormal action
on this screen.

So, until we meet
again, cadets.

[door thuds, slams]

CROWD:
[cheering, hooting]

Sweet! Right, Clyde?

We have a great view
of the screen.

Totally.

It almost makes me
forget about my fear of heights.

Almost.

BOTH:
[thud]

Ah! I've landed on my official
"Arggh!" ghost handcuffs.

Hey, you two.
No lying down on the job.

Set your walkies
to channel 4

and get your butts
in that house.

We're about to
start shooting.

No, ma'am, we don't
work for "Arggh!"...

'Cause you know
what they say...

When you do what you love,

you never work
a day in your life.

Heh. Heh. Come on, Clyde,
we'd better get to our posts.

That's more like it.

♪♪

♪♪

[nose honking]

[garbage can thuds]

Lincoln,
did you see that?

I've gotta get that tissue
for my scrapbook.

Okay.
I'll cover for you.

I want that tissue,
Lincoln.

♪♪

Hey, what are you
two doofuses doin'?

Get over to your position
and do not miss your cue.

Quiet on the set!

And action!

[clears throat]

On this special
episode of "Arggh!",

we're going to be
hunting for the ghost

of Groundskeeper Jim.

Locals say you can still
hear him some nights

dragging his shovel
around the empty house.

Hello? Hello?

Are you here now,
Groundskeeper Jim?

[switch clicking on/off]

It's a sign!
He's in the house!

CROWD:
[gasps]

Hey, man, quit playing
with the lights.

Hunter's trying
to catch a ghost.

Shhhh!

This will help me keep track
of the ghost's exact location.

- [small rock clatters]
- [gasps] He's right there!

Aha! got you cornered,
Groundskeeper Jim.

[device beeping]

Fire the gelatin!

Fire! Fire!

[gelatin splooshing]

Ah, ectoplasm!

- CROWD: [gasping, cheering]
- It's attacking me!

Ah! This ghost
is shockingly strong!

Ah! Take this!

[air whooshing]

Got him!

Sorry, Jim,
you're grounded.

CROWD:
[cheering, hooting]

What was that?
I can't hear anything.

- [light switch clicks on]
- [fans turns off]

And cut!
Great job, everyone.

Nice work with
the gelatin, guys.

I didn't think you'd
hit me in the face,

but I went with it.

Made the scene
even more believable.

[laughing]
BOTH: [gasping]

I can't believe
Hunter's a fake.

Think about all the time
we've wasted

watching five seasons
of "Arggh!"

I could have learned
to play the banjo.

Clyde, you're kind
of quiet back there.

Lincoln, I just don't wanna
talk about it right now.

I get that, buddy.

Delete, delete, delete,
delete, delete.

De-lete.

What are you doing,
big brother?

I'm getting rid of all my
recorded episodes of "Arggh!"

Ooh, goody!

More room for my show about
plastic surgeries gone wrong.

MAN's VOICE: Lincoln.
Come in, Lincoln.

Clyde, you sound old.

Ha, this is Clyde's dad.
Can you come over?

Clyde is having an episode,
and I was specifically asked

not to call Dr. Lopez
on her vacation.

I'll be right there.

He's been throwing out
his favorite possessions.

He said something about
them all being fake.

At least I think
that's what he said.

It was hard to hear
over Howard's crying.

Well, can you blame me?
It's not just his things.

He said he doesn't believe
in birthday wishes,

magicians,
or leprechauns anymore...

All the things that make
our little guy so special.

[sobbing]

Wait, I think I know
what's going on.

Clyde, look, I know you're
upset about Hunter, but...

I'm not upset,
I'm grateful.

He opened my eyes
to what a chump I've been.

I mean, if he's a fake,

everything else must
be fake, too.

- [plates clanking]
- HOWARD: [sobbing]

Your "Operation Dessert
Storm" commemorative plates?

Pssst! That show's
gotta be rigged.

No one could
really caramelize

100 crème brûlées
in five minutes.

Our anti-alien
abduction helmets?

[laughing]
Aliens.

There's no such thing.

Clyde, you don't
have to give up on

everything you've
ever believed in.

Oh, but I do,
Lincoln. I do.

[object crashes]

Clyde, that was
your clock-radio.

Ah.

It's worse than I thought,
and I know who's to blame.

Where are you going?

To see a man
about a ghost.

Hunter Specter...
If that's really your name.

[sighs] I already told
you guys payday is Wednesday.

I'm not on your crew.
I'm a fan.

Well, I was until I saw what
really happens on your show.

Oh.

I can handle it, but my
friend Clyde is crushed.

He was your biggest fan.

He wrote you a letter
every week.

Wait, that Clyde?

He's the only
fan who noticed

when I switched to
an all-cotton jumpsuit.

Oh, I feel terrible.

I didn't get into this
business to trick kids.

I wanted to hunt ghosts.

Then why don't you?

Oh, it's TV.

We have a schedule,

and if we can't find ghosts,
we have to fake it.

Yeah? Well,
now Clyde thinks

everything he
ever loved is fake.

I wish I could undo that,
but I don't know how.

We all know there's
not a real ghost here.

- [bell dings]
- Or is there?

HOWARD: Now, Clyde,
you'll have to wait

an hour after eating
to go swimming.

You'll get cramps.

That's just a myth, Dad.

I suppose next you'll tell
me if I make this face,

it could freeze that way.

What a load.

[gasps] That's it!
I'm calling Dr. Lopez. [sobbing]

Howard, no.
She needs this vacation.

She and Robin
are trying to make it work.

- [phone rings]
- Hey, Lincoln. What's up?

LINCOLN: Clyde, tune your
walkie to channel 4.

You've gotta hear this.

[water splashes]

HUNTER:
Come in, all crew!

Return to Royal Woods,
immediately.

I have a real ghost here,

but I can't catch him
without my equipment.

So? Just more of
Hunter's lies.

LINCOLN: But, Clyde,
the Royal Woods episode is over.

Why would he be lying?

HUNTER:
All crew, do you copy?

LINCOLN: Clyde,
we've got the equipment.

- We can help him.
- Meh.

LINCOLN:
Aw, come on.

- Meh!
- Look.

LINCOLN:
Do it for me, then?

Hmmm... I guess.

[owl hooting]

Hello?

Ah, my faithful crew guys.
Thanks for coming back.

There's a real
ghost in here.

We're not your crew guys,

and why should we believe
anything you say?

'Cause my cherry
soda just disappeared

and everyone knows Groundskeeper
Jim loved cherry soda.

Wow, you're really
going for it.

- [thunder crashes]
- [door slams]

Uh, that seemed
pretty real.

[object scraping]

[gasps]
Groundskeeper Jim's shovel!

Uh-huh.

- [can thuds]
- CLYDE: Oh!

Ch-ch-ch-cherry?

It is him!
[can clatters]

- [objects clattering]
- [ghostly laughter]

CLYDE:
And he's on the run!

What do you say, guys?
Should we catch him?

♪♪ Lively rock music...

[ghostly laughter]

He's over there!

[ghostly laughter
continues]

[door slams]

I got this!

Ya-a-a-a-a!

[thuds]

A little help?

[door thuds]

[wardrobe rattling]

He's in there.

[quietly]
Follow my lead.

BOTH:
[zooming]

Now!

[lively rock music]

LINCOLN & CLYDE:
[screaming]

It's working!

- HUNTER: Ha, ha!
- ALL: We got him!

- Yeah!
- Incredible!

That was amazing,
Hunter!

I'm going home to write you
another fan letter right now.

I believe! I believe!

I feel bad lying to Clyde,
but I'm glad he believes again.

This paint can shaker
really did the trick.

And the fishing line
on the door was perfect.

And that spring behind
the picture frame

worked like a charm.

And that was a nice touch
with the flying soda can.

I didn't know you
were gonna do that.

Yes, I...

Wait, I thought
you did that.

No.

- [ghostly belch]
- BOTH: [gasp]

HUNTER:
Hey, "Arggh!" cadets,

we're here at a haunted
tugboat in Milwaukee,

where locals say

some nights you
can see the ghost

of Captain Jack
swabbing the deck.

I can't guarantee we'll
find him here tonight,

but if we do,
he's mine!

Hey, guys, got you
a little snack.

Served on Clyde's

"Operation Dessert Storm"
commemorative plates.

Thanks, Dads.

But we're going swimming
right after this show,

so, we should probably
wait an hour.

BOTH:
No worries!

[excited squealing]
Yay!

Oh, our son is back!

Howie, don't make
that face...

It'll freeze that way.

♪♪
Part-2
Title: "Garage Banned"

♪♪

♪♪

[snoring loudly]

- [boot thuds]
- [groans]

What? Who is that?

[sniffing]
Oh, Lana.

Let me guess.
Another bad dream?

[snoring loudly]

- [heavy thud]
- Lori!

Can you get my tangles out?
[bird chirps]

Ow!
Not like a gorilla!

[musical ring tone]

Sis will call you back,
Boo-Boo Bear.

- Lola!
- [musical ring tone]

LORI:
[grunting]

Hi, Boo-Boo Bear.
Sorry about that.

Lori, does this outfit
clash with my toenail color?

It's fine.

So, Bobby,
how was your night?

- BOTH: [grunting]
- Let go of me!

- Oh, my beloved...
- Let go of me!

Guys, what are
you doing?

Luan broke Edwin's fang.

Tell her she has to pay
for his dental work.

He's a statue!

The only thing
I'm paying for

is you getting
your brain checked.

If you give
me ten minutes,

I can warm up
my MRI machine.

Or we could just
give her a CAT scan.

[laughing]
Get it?

LORI:
Everybody, out!

I'm trying to talk
to Bobby.

[heavy sigh]
Finally.

Real quick.
Is this outfit cuter?

Leni, it's literally
the same outfit.

Ah, where were we,
Boo-Boo Bear?

Did you dream about
me last night?

Sure did, toots!
We were smooching.

And you were loving it.
[kissing]

- Ah! Luan!
- LUAN: [laughing]

Get out of here!

[growling]

BOBBY: Babe,
what was that growl?

Is there a gorilla
in there?

Guys, we have to talk.

I am literally
almost an adult.

I can't live like
this anymore.

So, you're finally
gonna see a doctor

about your
flatulence problem?

What? I don't
have a flatulence problem!

I'm talking about
living in this house.

I can't even have
an uninterrupted

conversation with Bobby
or sleep through the night

without getting
kicked in the face.

Aren't you kind
of exaggerating?

Oh.

So, I talked to Mom
and Dad and they said

it was okay for me to
move into the garage.

OTHERS:
[gasping]

You can't leave!
We need you!

You'll be fine.

Besides, I'll be
right by the house,

if you need anything.

Oh, Lori, you're so lucky
you get your own room.

- [toilet flushing]
- Bathroom's all set.

Go easy on her at first.
No heavy meals.

Oh, I can't believe it.

Our first little bird
is leaving the nest.

I said I wouldn't cry...
[sobbing]

You guys, I'm only
20 feet from the house,

and you can visit
any time you want.

But call, first.

[door slams]

Parents. Am I right?

So, what are
we doing tonight?

- I'll see you tomorrow.
- [door slams]

[long sigh]

Alone at last.

♪♪ Lively music...

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[long sigh]
This is literally amazing.

[yawning]
Well...

[sighs]
it must be about bedtime.

[clock beeps]

Hmmm...

Hey, Boo-Boo Bear,
tell me about your day.

Sorry, babe, I'm really
slammed at the store.

CUSTOMERS:
[growling]

Well, fine.
I'm busy, too,

so, 'bye.

Now gently rock forward
as we go into Crab Pose.

[grunting]

[farts]
Ah!

[groans]

[eyes blink]

[sighs]

[clock beeps]

Hi, Mr. Grouse.

It looks like we're
going to be neighbors.

We're already neighbors.

Closer neighbors.

I moved into the garage.

I don't care.

[lawnmower chugging]

Oh, I can't get this
tangle outta my hair!

What am
I supposed to do?

Fear not, sibling.

As it happens,
I've been working on

a new detangling formula.

- [liquid spritzes]
- [gasps]

My hair!
What have you done?!

You should have specified
that you wanted to keep it.

On a related note...
May I keep it?

This never would have
happened if Lori was here!

[squirrel squeaking]

[clock beeps]

Ah, finally, bedtime.

- [lights click off]
- [animal howling]

It's darker out here
than I thought.

- [branches scraping]
- [wind gusting]

[creaking noises]

[squirrel chattering]

[chattering]
[gasps]

[switch clicks]

- [screaming]
- [switch clicking]

[teeth chattering]

Leni,
I had a nightmare.

It's okay.
Tell me about it.

Well, first, the blood-sucking
aliens were chasing me...

[gasps] Did they see
you come in here?

Quick, help me
with this dresser!

[straining]

I wish Lori was here.
She would make us feel safe.

I know,
but we can't bug her.

She wants to be alone.

♪♪

♪♪

- [musical ring tone]
- [gasps]

Bobby!

Hey, babe.
How's Casa Lori?

Terrible.
This was a big mistake.

I'm sorry.

Hey, why don't you just move
back in with the family?

I made such a big deal
about wanting to be on my own.

If I came
crawling back now,

they'd never let
me live it down.

Oops, babe,
I've gotta go.

The exterminator's here.

Papa thought he saw
a mouse in the store.

It might have been
a moldy marshmallow,

but we're not taking
any chances.

- [bell dings]
- A mouse, huh? Hmmm...

Okay, guys, scatter!

[mice squeaking]

Ahem!

[screaming]
Help!

What's wrong?

There are literally
mice in here.

- Oh, honey, I'm sure you're...
- [mice skittering]

DAD:
[screams]

moving back
into the house!

This place is a horror show.
[sobbing]

Oh, and I love
it here so much.

But if you say so.

I have a better
solution...

My new ultrasonic
mousetrap.

It works due to the simple-
minded nature of the mice.

Not you, Leni.

Problem solved.

And it's a win-win.

I get new research
subjects,

and you get
your beloved abode back.

Great.

Dad, the mice are gone.

Uh, yes, well...
glad I could help.

- [wrench clanks]
- [water splashing]

Ahem.

Help! I've got a leak!

[water splashing]

Unh-unh, this is bad.
You can't stay out here.

No!

You're probably right.

Don't worry, sis.
I've got this.

[whistle shrills]

Bucket brigade!

♪♪

I replaced the PVC
with galvanized steel,

so she should
definitely hold now.

Great.

- [door slams]
- You guys, help!

I think the garage
is haunted.

See?

"Get Out!"
Hmmm...

[lipstick tube rolls]

Let me do my thing.

Oh, Spirit, speak to me.

Hmmm...
[claps hands]

The ghost just
explained everything.

There's really a ghost?

I mean, of course,
there's a ghost,

and, clearly,
he wants me to leave.

Actually, he said
you can stay.

He's leaving.

Something about
"yoga farts."

Okay, that was
the floorboards!

[door slams]

[sighs]

There must be some
way out of here.

[lawnmower chugging]

[lawnmower chugging]

[basketball thuds]

[gasps]

Dang it, Luna.

Your fog machine warped
Mr. Coconut's head.

Can't prove it, dude!

Lincoln, tell her she has
to pay to get him fixed.

Um... okay.

Luna, I think Luan
has a point.

You should pay up.

You wanna think
again, brah?

Yes, I do.

Luan, I think
you should accept

that fog machines
are a part of life.

I wouldn't be
too hasty, Slick.

My cousin's a baseball bat.

I wish Lori was here.

She always has
the right solution.

That's your solution?

That I drive my tractor
through your garage?

Yes, in exchange for
a tray of my dad's lasagna.

Well, what happens
when your old man

wants me to pay
for the damage?

I'll give you the money
out of my allowance.

Hot dinner, and I get to
wreck your dad's garage?

Now that's a win-win.

Let's say tonight
around 7:00.

Well, all done.

I'd love to hang
out and "dish,"

but I'm sure you wanna go
back to your place now.

Uh, first, I should
say goodnight to everyone.

[zooming]

- Goodnight, Leni.
- Goodnight, Luna.

Goodnight, Lynn.
Goodnight, Lincoln.

Move, you're
blocking the TV.

Ah, well, now I'm gonna
have to start over.

Goodnight, Leni.
Goodnight, Luna.

Goodnight, Lynn.
[lawnmower chugging]

- [loud crash]
- LORI: [gasps]

What was that?

Dang it! I put her
in reverse by mistake,

and knocked down
the wrong garage.

Can I still have
your dad's lasagna?

Knocked down
the wrong garage?

Dad's lasagna?

Lori, you've got
a "ricotta" explain' to do.

[laughing]
Get it?

Heh. Heh.

Well, I kind of maybe paid
Mr. Grouse to wreck the garage

so I wouldn't have
to live there.

OTHERS: [shouting
mixed comments]

You love the garage.

I thought all I wanted was
to be away from you guys.

But I only ended
up missing you.

I was just too
embarrassed to admit it.

OTHERS: [shouting
mixed comments]

Nice reunion, Louds.

But what about
my garage?

Here, I'll give
you a quote.

BOBBY: So, it turns
out it wasn't

a moldy marshmallow
or a mouse.

It was a chinchilla.

I named it "Lori."

Oh, Boo-Boo Bear,
that's so sweet.

Wait, is that
like a rat?

Lori,
what do you think?

Love. You literally
look like a model.

Lori, can I sleep
in your bed?

Of course.
Boots off.

Lori, tell Lisa she can't
harvest my kidneys.

Tell Lincoln
he only requires one.

Now let's do this!

Lisa, you took
his appendix.

Don't be greedy.

Yeah, Lisa,
have a "heart,"

but just not mine.

[laughing]
Get it?

Lori,
can you detangle?

You got it.
[sighs]

I really missed all of this.
Synchronized by srjanapala

[screams]

♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad,
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud House,
Loud House ♪

♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way
we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud House,
Loud House ♪

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with 11 kids ♪

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud House ♪