The Loud House (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 16 - Fool's Paradise/Job Insecurity - full transcript

♪♪

♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

♪ In the Loud House ♪

♪ In the Loud House ♪

♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

♪ It's how we show our love ♪



♪ In the Loud House,
in the Loud House ♪

♪ One boy and ten girls ♪

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

♪ Loud, Loud, Loud ♪

♪ Loud House
*The Loud House*

Poo-poo.
Season 02 Episode 16

Part-1 Title: "Fool's Paradise"

♪♪ Exciting music...
"Fool's Paradise"

♪♪

And that's why I propose

we cryogenically freeze Luan
for April Fool's Day.

She can't prank us
if she's frozen solid.

Oh, come on.
She'll maintain brain function.

Well, a little.



Lana and I have an idea.

[wheels squeaking]

We call it
the Prank-Me-Not Poncho.

The inflatable lining
cushions you

from all manner of pranks.

Ow!

Ooh! Ow!
I can feel that.

Not a problem.
We just need a little more air.

Does anyone have an idea
that'll actually work?

April Fool's Day
is this weekend,

and I am not losing
another eyebrow.

They're starting to
grow in coarse.

I say we post bad reviews
of Fanny's Prank Emporium

and force them
out of business.

Ooh, that's good.

We eliminate her supplier,
we eliminate the problem.

We're too late for that.

Luan got her prank supplies

shipped to an offshore warehouse
months ago.

She told me that to scare me.

It totally worked.

Leni, are you
even paying attention?

Oh, sorry, I was just

reading this ad
for a clown camp

that takes place over
April Fool's Day Weekend.

- What?
- What?

This is perfect!

If we send Luan to this camp,

she'll be two states
away from us.

Oh, but it costs 500 bucks.

Well, that is a lot of money,

but if it means
we don't have

to spend April Fool's
in these suits,

I'd say it's worth it.

Agreed.
Someone toss me my checkbook.

A weekend at
Funny Farm's Clown Camp?

Oh!
This is my dream come true!

Oh, thank you,
thank you, thank you!

But what's the occasion?

Why do we need an occasion

to spoil our favorite
little comedienne, huh?

Oh, wait.
It's on April Fool's weekend.

Is it?
I, uh... I didn't realize.

I don't know if I can be away
from my family

on my favorite holiday.

Ah, but think about
all that fresh meat at the camp

just waiting to be pranked.

Oh, you're right!

Well, in that case,
I "camp" wait.

[laughs] Get it?

- Oh, that is hilarious!
- That's good!

Where do you come up
with this stuff?

Oh, I swear,
I'm gonna pee.

Lincoln,
don't oversell it.

♪♪

Well, guys, this is it.

I'm really gonna miss you, but...

- Bye!
- See ya!

Wait, wait!
I changed my mind!

Punch it, Dad!

[all scream]

I want the blue clown shoes,
not the pink ones.

[all sigh]

Here, take them all.

Take mine, too,
just to be safe.

[all cheering]

[engine rattling, pops]

Oh, dang it.

Sorry, guys, looks like
Vanzilla just died on us.

I'm on it, Dad.

Huh, that's weird.

I thought I packed my toolbox.

It's okay, sweetie.

We'll just get a tow
in the morning.

There's a motel right there.

[scoffs]

Lola Loud does not
stay in two-star motels.

[glass breaks]

Well, there you go.

Now it's a one-star,
so you're good.

And please watch over
Cliff, Charles, Geo, and Walt,

and Izzy, Hops, Bitey,
Fangs, El Diablo...

- Lana.
- But I didn't get to my ant colony yet.

Good night.

[insect chirping]

Seriously?

That's not bothering
anyone else?

Oh, my bad.

Those gas station burritos
always get me going.

Not that, the cricket.

- Ouch!
- Seriously, dude?

I'm sorry.
I can't see anything.

Let me just turn on a light.

[sirens blaring on TV]

ALL: Lincoln!

Sorry.

[sirens blaring]

Lincoln!

- Oh!
- I'm sorry.

I can't figure out
how anything works in here.

[alarm blaring]

Lincoln,
stop hitting switches.

You're making things worse.

Now, where is the dang plug
for this thing?

Ow!

I'll get some more towels
to clean up that coffee.

[screams]

[blaring stops]

Well, that should do it.

Whoever wired this place

had no idea
what they were doing.

I think they knew exactly
what they were doing.

Look what I found.

This cricket is a fake.

It's from
Fanny's Prank Emporium.

[all gasp]

That's where Luan
gets all her supplies.

[gasps] You don't think
she's behind this, do you?

- [scoffs]
- She can't be.

She's at camp.
I'll call her right now.

[beep] Hello, family.

I hope you're
enjoying your stay.

Buckle up, there's mo-telling
what's gonna happen next.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha hah!
Get it?

[screaming]

Okay, everybody stay calm.

We'll just go to the manager
and get a new room.

How do we know
that's not exactly

what Luan wants us to do?

I vote we stay put.

♪♪ Dramatic music...

[all gasp]

Hang on, Lisa.
We'll get you out.

[muffled] Negative.
Proceed without me.

- I'm safer in here.
- Let's go.

[cricket chirping]

[muffled] Lincoln!
The cricket!

♪♪

Ah!
She cut the floorboards!

[wood creaks, pops]

ALL: Oh!

♪♪

Luna, grab my foot.

I'll pull you to safety
with my quads.

I can't, dude.

Major Gelatin hands.

I'm cool here.

Carry on, my wayward sons!

♪♪

All: Dibs not!

Dang it.
I always do it wrong.

♪♪ Suspenseful music...

[boing]

[yells]

[neon humming]

[scary musical sting]

[all gasp]

You guys go on without me.

I'd rather be stuck up here
than get pranked by Luan.

♪♪ Dramatic music...

[bell dinging]

Good evening, sir.

We need a new room.

Fine.
You can have 1A.

Princesses first!

♪♪

[animal chatters,
Lola screams]

[hissing]

The rat skunked me.

The real 1A's over there.

Don't touch that handle!

Remember
what happened to Leni.

Hi, you guys!

I have an idea.

Charge!

[yells]

[splat]

I'm okay!
I landed in pie!

[slurps]

And of course
she made it rhubarb pie,

which I'm allergic to.

I can't take this anymore.

I'm getting out of here!

[scary music]

[car beeping]
[sighs]

[airbags whoosh]
[grunts]

My eyebrows!

Quick!
To the basement!

It's always the safest place
in an emergency!

[suspenseful music]

♪♪

[laughs]

Lily, no, it could be a trap!

♪♪

Oh, shoot.

I'm trapped!
Save yourselves!

Come on, kids!
Say good-bye to your mother!

[click]

Please tell me
this is not bleach.

And it's bleach.

Go on without me.

I don't want to be seen
in public like this.

[breathing heavily]
Okay. Take a knee.

Now, I know we're
dropping like flies here.

But let's not lose hope.

If we stick together,
we should be okay.

Lynn Jr., why don't
you grab the Lilster,

and we'll find
a safer spot to hide.

[monkey screams]

[both screaming]

Looks like it's just
you and me, son.

What do you say we go hide
in the boiler room?

Uh, wait, um,

oh, the... the roof is next.

"The roof is next"?

What does that mean?

And why did you
just look at your arm?

What... I...

"Room 2C, hallway, lobby,

Room 1A, laundry room."

These are all the places
we got pranked.

You've been helping her!

Okay, I admit it!

I've been on Luan's scheme
the whole time.

A few weeks ago,
she came to me.

[whistling]

[screams]

And said she needed
an inside man

to pull off her biggest
April Fool's ever.

It was a very
sophisticated operation.

First, we planted a fake ad

in one of Leni's magazines.

Then we set up
a fake clown camp.

Now, that wasn't as easy.

Do you have any idea
how much it costs to buy land?

We faked the van breaking down

with a little help
from one of Luna's fog machines.

And, of course,
Luan wasn't gonna miss

seeing you all get pranked.

The manager... that's her.

♪♪ Exciting music...

She's been watching everything
on the security cameras.

♪♪

[cackling]

[cackling echoes]

Dad, how could you sell out
your own family like that?

Luan promised me
a prank-free decade.

A decade, son!

I hope it was worth it.

Oh, it was not worth it.

I feel terrible.

What kind of father am I?

- What kind of...
- [sobs] Husband?

[sobs] It's okay, Dad.

You're not the bad guy here.
Luan is.

[sniffles]
No, no, son.

I'm just as guilty.

I went along with her.

But maybe it's not
too late to redeem myself.

What do you think of putting
Operation Find Our Family

and Get Back at Luan for Causing
Years of Emotional Damage

and Also Think of a Shorter Name
for This Operation into action?

I'm in.

[elevator bell dings]

My pranking is about
to reach new heights.

Get it?

Oh, there's no one here.

[buzzer sounds,
telephone rings]

Hello, manager?

This is Lynn Loud Sr.

My son and I were just
headed up to the roof,

but we seem to have
gotten stuck in the elevator.

[deep voice]
Uh, I'll be right there.

This is what I get
for hiring an amateur.

That should do it.

[elevator bell dings]

[yells]

[grunts]

[neon humming]

[groans]

Whoa!

[groans]

[splat]

[monkey giggles]

We did it, you guys!

We finally beat Luan
at her own game!

[laughs]

Clap, clap, clap.

Well done, family.
You got me.

You may have won this time,

but next year I'm gonna
stop going easy on you

and give you all an April Fool's
you'll never forget!

Especially you, Dad!

[cackling]

What have I done?

[all screaming]

[continues cackling]
End of Part-1.

♪♪ [upbeat rock music]
Part-2
Title: "Job Insecurity"

♪♪

♪♪

Dad must have been
so caught up making us breakfast

that he forgot his work stuff.

Luna, will you run
Dad's laptop up to him?

And leave my breakfast
sandwich with you animals?

That's a neg, dude.

I'll do it.
I trust you guys.

You guys, not cool.

As the oldest,
I totally get her sandwich.

Hey, Dad, we saw you forgot
your laptop at home and...

[keys clacking]

Oh, I can't believe
you get to have plastic surgery,

but I can't get
my belly button pierced?

Uh, you must be looking
for Lynn Loud Sr.

I-I'm sorry, but he
doesn't work here anymore.

He's been gone
for three weeks.

- Three weeks? - Three weeks?
- Three weeks? - Three weeks?

Based on my calculations,

it appears our father's
employment was terminated

immediately following
the most recent

Take Your Kids to Work Day.

You don't think we had
anything to do with it, do you?

[laughter]

Whoo!

[kids groaning]
We're literally the worst.

Now I can't even eat
that delicious sandwich he made.

I feel too guilty.

[munching, swallows]
Me too.

Wait, if Daddy hasn't
had a job for three weeks,

where's he even going when
he leaves the house every morning?

I believe I can locate him.

I recently implanted
a tracking chip

in both our parental units.

A tracking chip?

You didn't put those in us,
did you?

[device beeping]

[wickedly] No.

[device warbling, beeping]

Lori, turn due southeast.

We appear to have arrived
at Father's location.

The Aloha Comrade

Hawaiian/Russian
fusion restaurant?

What's he doing here?

Poor guy must be
drowning his sorrows

in Humuhumunukunukuapua'a
borscht.

All: What?

Have you guys really
never heard of Borscht?

[humming]

[tracker beeping]

[kids gasp]

Dad's a dishwasher?

But he hates doing dishes.

Yeah, and now
that's his job...

Because of us.

This is worse than the time

we ruined his
40th birthday party.

And his college reunion.

And his roller dance
competition.

And his colonoscopy.

Guys, Dad does
so much for us,

and all we do is
make his life worse.

It's true.
We really need to fix this.

And I know how.

We're gonna get Dad
a new and better job.

- Yeah!
- Totally!

We just all need
to work together!

Oh, guys, someone threw out

a perfectly good
pineapple stroganoff.

[munches]
Mmm.

[snaps fingers] I've got
the perfect job for Daddy...

Figure skater!

[camera shutters clicking]

No way!

Soccer goalie!

[grunting]

Uh-uh.
Beat poet.

Darkness, despair...

[plays bongos]
Lack of hair.

May I remind you,

Father only has one
monetizable skill set...

Information technology,

street name... IT.

Oh, what about this?

"Computer expert needed
for Internet start-up."

I thought someone
already started the Internet.

This is good.

Let's fill out an application
and send it in.

And... done.

[chimes]

Yes!
They liked Dad's application

and want him to come in
for an interview!

Wait, what if
he doesn't get the gig?

Then we'll have gotten
his hopes up for nothing.

How about we
get the job for him,

then surprise him with it?

So you're saying we clone
Dad while he's sleeping

and send the clone
to the interview?

Great idea!

I underestimated you,
Lincoln.

Actually,
I was thinking one of us

could just put on this wig
and pretend to be Dad.

Oh.
So I overestimated you.

I know the perfect person
to play Dad.

[playful bluegrass music]

So, Mr. Loud,

why should we hire you?

Because I've literally
mastered technology.

[cell phone rings]

Hi, boo-boo bear.

Carol said what?

Can I get some privacy?

You should hire me because
I'm responsible and mature.

This tie is strangling me!

Oh, I'm sweating in this suit.

These pants
are giving me a rash!

Ahh.
Now, where were we?

[thud]

Lynn Loud Sr.

Pleased to meet you.

[electricity crackles]

What's the buzz around here?

[laughs] Get it?

Who are we kidding?

None of us can pull this off.

There must be somebody
who can make a convincing Dad.

Ooh, look at me,
I'm Lynn Loud Sr.

I can leave my trash bins out
as long as I want.

Mr. Grouse, could you
do us a small favor?

Hard pass.

Wait, would a tray of my dad's
lasagna change your mind?

No.

But two would.
[chuckles]

Mmm, mmm!

I'd like to be alone
with my lasagna.

These are for later,
Mr. Grouse.

First, we need to
get you trained

so you'll fit
into the world of IT.

Ah, you kids
and your fancy abbreviations.

In my day, we just said, "It."

Okay, Mr. Grouse.

Here's a laptop.
Boot it up.

Will you settle
for a penny loafer?

[whistle blows]
No, no.

Not like that.

Like this.
[laptop chimes]

Okay, now open a window.

Eh, all right.

[laughs]
Good one.

But wrong.

Like this.

Now you need to empty
the trash on your computer.

Eh, whatever you say.

Yeah, I walked
right into that one.

[rock music]

♪♪

♪♪

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

Yo, IT dude...

I mean, how are you, sir?

My computer's acting
totally bogus...

I-I-I mean broken.

So, yeah, can you fix it?

Well, let's see.

Have you rebooted?

Have you checked
your Wi-Fi connection?

Oh, ah, it's clear as daylight.

You need to update your drivers.

I think he's ready.

Almost.

It's been three hours.

Where is he?

Passing
the Cluverius residence,

about to make a right
onto Franklin.

[device beeping]

How'd you know that?

Just a wild guess.

Oh, sorry, kids.

Psych!
I got the job!

[kids cheering]

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have a date
with two hot dishes...

of lasagna, for Pete's sake!

- Good morning, Dad! - Good morning, Dad!
- Good morning, Dad! - Good morning, Dad!

Dang it.
What's going on, kids?

Get in.
We're driving you to work.

Uh, okay.

But there's something
I have to tell you.

I have a new job now.

Yes, you do.

[engine turning over]

[engine revving]
Oh, dang it!

[light music]

Wait, this isn't
the Aloha Comrade.

We know.
Say hello to your new office.

We felt bad
about getting you fired

from your old IT job,

so we got you a new one.

Uh, guys, you didn't
get me fired from my old job.

I quit.

Why?

So you could wash icky dishes?

Mm, not exactly.

I'm training
to become a chef...

My dream job!

And washing dishes
is how you start.

I didn't want to tell you guys

until I passed
my training period.

- Oh. - Oh. - Oh.
- Oh. - Oh. - Oh.

It's the colonoscopy
all over again.

It... it's okay, kids.
You meant well.

And now that you know,
you can just

take me back
to the restaurant.

Uh, we kind of already
quit for you.

You listen to me, bub!

No one makes my daddy
wash dishes!

He's done with your stinky job
in your stinky restaurant!

And another thing...

[inhales deeply]

[hair dryer whirring loudly]

Oh, dear.

[bell dings]
Don't worry, Dad.

We'll talk your boss
into rehiring you.

- Yeah!
- To the Aloha Comrade!

- Punch it, Lori!
- Wait!

[rock music]

[gulping]

Oh, that was hot.

[tires screech]

Oh, no!

This is my last clean plate.

Sir.

Please give our dad
his job back.

This was all
a misunderstanding.

What is there
to misunderstanding?

First, I get the rudest
call of my life.

Then I have no one to help
with the breakfast rush.

So my answer is nyet.

Yay!

Nyet means "no."

Aw.

Please don't punish our dad.

This was our fault.

Yeah, we're always
messing up.

All we do is
make his life worse.

Whoa, whoa, kids,
what are you talking about?

You make my life better
every day.

This is just a job.

Don't worry.
I can find another one.

[tender music]

[sniffling]

I can't say nyet to a man
with such a nice family.

You got your job back!

All: Yay!

Yes, my daddy's gonna
wash the dishes!

[echoing]
Dishes, dishes, dishes!

Ah, you!
Whoa! Ah!

[crash]
Ooh!

Ow, my cooking arm.

Chef Sergei!

Hmm, appears to be
a hairline fracture.

You'll need to
keep that immobilized

for at least three weeks.

I'm sorry, Lynn.

I know I just
gave your job back,

but I'm going to have to
shut down for a while.

[sighs]

[bell dings]
Maybe not.

[upbeat rock music]

OMgosh, you guys!

The dining room is packed!

Everyone loves Dad's Kona
caviar breakfast sandwiches.

Mmm, Lynn,

you don't need to train
to be a chef.

You already are one!

Forget about the dishwashing.

I'm making you my co-chef.

[kids cheering]

Come with me.

I want the customers to know
who made this delicious meal.

Ooh, Sergei didn't finish
his breakfast sandwich.

All: Dibs!

[keys clacking]

There you go, all fixed!

Uh, great, thanks.

Could you log out for me?

Sure.

[grunts]
Good thing I brought a log.

♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud House ♪
♪ Loud House ♪

♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud House ♪

♪ Loud House ♪

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with 11 kids ♪

♪ That's the way it always is ♪
Sync corrections - by srjanapala

♪ In the Loud House ♪
Sync corrections - by srjanapala

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.