The Loud House (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 17 - House Music/A Novel Idea - full transcript
Lincoln enters his sisters into a Talent show and they all decide on becoming a band. Lincoln visits his mother's workplace on "Take your daughter to work day".
- ♪
- [objects shattering]
- [car zooming]
- [dog barking]
- LISA: Her moving style
is very safe here.
- MOM: Here's your
dinner, Lincoln.
- Thanks, Mom.
Hey, will you help me
with my science project?
I have to build a volcano.
- MOM: Sure, honey.
Just give me five minutes.
Leni and I are gonna practice
putting on makeup.
- Hey, Dad, can you help
me with my volcano?
- DAD: Sure, son,
just give me five minutes
while I give Lynn some
baseball pointers.
- [object shatters]
- [cat screeches]
- DAD: And there's your
first pointer, Lynn--
never play ball
in the house.
- MOM: Well, you're doing
much better, Leni,
but you're still venturing
into...clown territory.
- Mom, can we work
on my volcano now?
- MOM: Oh, five
minutes, honey.
I promised Lori I'd take
a magazine quiz with her.
- But I could really
use some help.
Dad, can you--
- Five more minutes, pal.
I promised Luna I'd help her
lay down some funky grooves!
- Hey, Dad, I clogged
the toilet,
so you could teach
me how to fix it!
- DAD: Five minutes, Lincoln.
I mean, Lana.
- [saxophone blasting]
- [cat screeching]
- [saxophone continues]
- DAD: Ow!
- In a family as big as mine,
getting attention from your
parents is no easy thing.
[sighing] How am
I ever gonna finish this?
Wow, it's finished?
Your volcano is
awesome, Clyde.
I love how you even
put people on it.
- Thanks!
That's Lori and me.
We're climbing down
to get married
'cause Bobby fell in,
and is being
devoured by lava.
- Ouch! It really did
a number on his face.
This project isn't
due for a week.
How'd you get it
done so fast?
- My dads helped.
We spent the whole
weekend working on it.
- My parents never give me
that kind of attention.
They're always rushing off
to help one of my sisters.
- Why don't you
bring your volcano
to my house after school?
My dads will have plenty
of time to help you.
- Really?
That would be great.
- Oh, hang on, Lincoln.
I'm gonna get
Volcano Lori a juice.
Running from Bobby's tormented
screams has made her thirsty.
- [school bell ringing]
- Oh, these long
school days, man.
- Tell me about it.
But at least
we're home now.
- LINCOLN: Wow!
I always forget how different
your house is from mine!
- Uh, you're
shouting, Lincoln.
- Oh, right. Sorry.
Force of habit.
- Hi, fellas.
Come on in.
- Hi, Mr. McBride.
Hi, Mr. McBride.
- Ooh, nice structure,
Lincoln.
Ready to get to work?
- You mean like now?
- HAROLD: [laughing]
Of course.
- Oh, hang on, Lincoln.
You have a loose button
on your shirt.
- Oh, well, I, uh...
- [laughing]
No worries.
- Thanks, Mr. McBride.
- Great good heavens!
It looks like the sole of your
shoe is about to fall off.
- Oh, that's just--
- No worries.
I'll just give it
a little tappity tap.
- Wow, you're not gonna
just use a stapler on that?
- Hold up, Lincoln.
Your sideburns are uneven.
- I know. Usually,
I just tilt my head.
- No worries.
- [razors buzzing]
- HAROLD: Perfect!
- HOWARD: Hot towel?
Sorry dinner's nothing fancy--
just roasted organic chicken
with a homemade marinade.
- And vegetables
from our garden.
Help yourself, Lincoln.
- There's no foil
to peel back?
- HAROLD: [chuckling]
Foil. LOL.
That's a hot one, Lincoln.
- Clyde, how was your day?
- It was great.
I lasted 37 seconds
in dodgeball.
- Did you hear that, Hare Bear?
Thirty-seven seconds.
- Good job, son.
And, Lincoln,
how was your day?
- [coughing]
What? Me?
You wanna know how
my day was? Now?
- [cellphone] ♪ Hallelujah!
- Oops, sorry.
- You know the rules, Dad.
No phones at
the dinner table.
- Seriously?
What about ants,
or pitching machines,
or toilet snakes?
- HAROLD: [laughing]
You're so funny, Lincoln.
Here, have seconds.
- [cellphone] ♪ Hallelujah!
- Oh, I thought
I turned this off.
Sorry we didn't finish your
volcano tonight, Lincoln.
Why don't you come
back tomorrow?
- It's mani-pedi night
at the McBride house.
- [voice wobbling]
Ooh, I love Italian food.
- [laughing]
You are too much, Lincoln.
- [vibrating chair stops]
- I gotta say--
getting some undivided
attention is pretty sweet,
and now, if you'll excuse me,
I've gotta give some undivided
attention to my hammies.
[voice wobbling]
Ohhh...yeah...
- LILY: [crying]
- LANA: Ya-hoo!
- LUAN: [laughing]
- [food splatting]
- Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
- [explosion]
- [sighing]
[slams door]
- Hey, Lincoln.
You look different.
- My sideburns are even.
- No, it's more than that.
Your skin is glowing,
you look taller,
and you smell like--
[sniffing]
organic brussels sprouts?
Okay, what gives?
- I spent tonight at Clyde's.
His dads helped me
with my volcano,
and served me food
with no foil,
and asked me about my day.
- Get out!
That sounds amazing!
Hey, do you think he could help
me with my baseball swing?
- Sure. I think Clyde
said one of his dads
played ball in college.
Why don't you come over
after school tomorrow?
- Oh, that would be awesome.
[punching]
- Ow! Lynn, do you mind?
Clyde's dads just gave
me my vaccinations.
- HOWARD: Goodbye.
- HAROLD: Take care.
- I just can't believe
Mr. McBride
spent a whole hour coaching me
and how about that dinner?
What was that special
thing they cooked again?
- Meat?
- Yeah.
It was amazing.
Ah, I'd punch you, but my arm
is sore from the vaccinations.
- Hey, peeps.
Wait, you look different.
Your nail beds are rockin'.
[sniffing]
And do I smell meat?
What's going on?
- We've been hanging
out with Clyde's dads.
They've been giving us all
kinds of one-on-one time.
- Rad! Hey, do you think
they could jam with me?
Dad's got a wicked canker
and he can't blow
the sax anymore.
- Sure. One of Clyde's
dads told me
he was in a band in college.
- Okay, but this is it.
If any more of you find out
about Clyde's dads,
the undivided attention is going
to get pretty divided.
- Don't worry, bro.
That was the car window.
- LYNN & LINCOLN:
Yeah, we get it.
- [guitar & saxophone jamming]
- LINCOLN: Well,
this is okay.
I can handle sharing with
a couple of sisters.
It could be worse.
- And the woodpecker said,
that's why I tell
knock-knock jokes.
[laughing]
- [beats drum, hits cymbal]
- Luan?
- Mr. McBride, would
you say I'm more
an Autumn or a Winter?
- You are
definitely a Summer.
- Literally, right?
- Lori?
- Lori? My future wife?
Here with my dads?
What do I do?
What do I do?
Oh, I know.
[sighing]
- Ya-hoo!
Mr. McBride, yo!
- Oh, I can't
believe you guys
have sodium salicylate
on the premises.
- GIRLS: Mr. McBride!
- ALL: [chattering]
- Mr. McBride?
Mr. McBride?
- Harold!
- What is it, Howie?
[gasping]
Great Betty Buckley!
- Poo poo!
- BOTH: The carpet!
- Poo poo, poo poo!
- Hey, you blabbed
our secret to everyone?
- No, bro, I would
never do that.
But I may have sung
it in the shower.
♪ Undivided attention
♪ So good but it can't
be mentioned ♪
♪ One-on-one time
is so really cool ♪
♪ Hangin' with Clyde's dads
after school ♪
Sorry. I was just so amped.
- LUCY: Dearly beloved,
we are gathered today
to say goodbye--
- Guys, I can't find my bedroom.
- Remember, Leni,
you're not in your own house.
- No talking at
your own funeral.
- GIRLS: [chattering]
- Mr. McBride, can you
help me with my volcano?
It's due tomorrow.
- Sure thing, Lincoln.
Just give me five minutes.
Luan wants me to
try out this pie.
- Hey, Mr. McB, wanna help
me with my volcano?
- Absolutely--uh, just give
me five minutes
while I help Lola with
her double pageant wings.
- [heavy sigh]
- [pie splats]
- So, that's what she meant
by "try out this pie."
Give me five more
minutes, Lincoln.
Gotta get this meringue
out of my eye.
- Where's Lori? Jam with Luna.
Find Lily.
- There we go.
Now who was it that
needed my help?
- [explosion]
- Lisa!
- This stinks, Clyde.
I finally get
some attention
and my sisters come
over here and hog it.
They all gotta go.
- I totally agree--
except for Lori.
I'm studying all
her quiz answers
and if I change
everything about myself,
we'll be soulmates.
- You know, if you
wanna impress Lori,
you can just talk to her.
- Yes, talk to her.
That's a valid--
[groans, head clunks]
- I've had just about
enough of this.
Now listen up!
- [object shatters]
- I guess I picked the wrong
day to stop shouting.
I said--
- Thank you, Lincoln.
I got it!
I am going to dominate
the Little Miss
Ambidextrous Pageant.
- You're the best, Lincoln.
Clyde's dads really helped
with my makeup.
Now if I can just
find my bedroom.
Nope, that's Lisa's room.
- Lincoln,
did you know Mr. McBride
put himself through theater
school working as a plumber?
He spent a whole hour
teaching me about flush valves.
- Wow, maybe I had it wrong.
My sisters aren't trying
to hog Clyde's dads.
They just want
a little attention, too,
and you know what?
I'm gonna let them have it.
But not this leftover meat.
That's coming with me.
Whew!
- MOM: Oh, Lincoln,
there you are.
I got some more materials
for your volcano.
- DAD: And I made my special
marinara sauce for lava.
- Wow, thanks!
You guys remembered
my volcano.
- DAD: Of course, we did.
We always planned to help.
We just needed to
find some time.
- MOM: We're sorry it
took so long, honey.
Did you do something
to your sideburns?
- [car brakes screeching,
car doors slamming]
[car tires squealing]
- We broke Clyde's dads.
- MOM: You did what?
- We were having a great time,
when all of a sudden,
they just snapped,
herded us into their car,
and drove us home.
- I have no idea what
precipitated this.
I simply suggested
a sleepover.
- Not everyone can
handle 11 kids
like Mom and Dad can.
- Hey, Dad, what did you
think of my future bride--Lori?
- Which one was she?
There were so many.
[shuddering]
- I'm sorry. Frozen dinners
were all I could manage.
- Dad, I think
you forgot to--
- HOWARD & HAROLD: [snoring]
- [shuddering]
- I guess I really
underestimated my parents.
Even if it takes a while,
they eventually find time
for all of us--every day.
No wonder Dad has
a wicked canker.
- GIRLS: [chattering]
- MOM & DAD:
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hold it!
Five minutes, girls.
We're helping Lincoln now.
- It's finished!
Ahem, drum roll, please.
Three...two...
...one!
- [marinara sauce splats]
- [objects shattering]
- [car zooming]
- [dog barking]
- LISA: Her moving style
is very safe here.
- MOM: Here's your
dinner, Lincoln.
- Thanks, Mom.
Hey, will you help me
with my science project?
I have to build a volcano.
- MOM: Sure, honey.
Just give me five minutes.
Leni and I are gonna practice
putting on makeup.
- Hey, Dad, can you help
me with my volcano?
- DAD: Sure, son,
just give me five minutes
while I give Lynn some
baseball pointers.
- [object shatters]
- [cat screeches]
- DAD: And there's your
first pointer, Lynn--
never play ball
in the house.
- MOM: Well, you're doing
much better, Leni,
but you're still venturing
into...clown territory.
- Mom, can we work
on my volcano now?
- MOM: Oh, five
minutes, honey.
I promised Lori I'd take
a magazine quiz with her.
- But I could really
use some help.
Dad, can you--
- Five more minutes, pal.
I promised Luna I'd help her
lay down some funky grooves!
- Hey, Dad, I clogged
the toilet,
so you could teach
me how to fix it!
- DAD: Five minutes, Lincoln.
I mean, Lana.
- [saxophone blasting]
- [cat screeching]
- [saxophone continues]
- DAD: Ow!
- In a family as big as mine,
getting attention from your
parents is no easy thing.
[sighing] How am
I ever gonna finish this?
Wow, it's finished?
Your volcano is
awesome, Clyde.
I love how you even
put people on it.
- Thanks!
That's Lori and me.
We're climbing down
to get married
'cause Bobby fell in,
and is being
devoured by lava.
- Ouch! It really did
a number on his face.
This project isn't
due for a week.
How'd you get it
done so fast?
- My dads helped.
We spent the whole
weekend working on it.
- My parents never give me
that kind of attention.
They're always rushing off
to help one of my sisters.
- Why don't you
bring your volcano
to my house after school?
My dads will have plenty
of time to help you.
- Really?
That would be great.
- Oh, hang on, Lincoln.
I'm gonna get
Volcano Lori a juice.
Running from Bobby's tormented
screams has made her thirsty.
- [school bell ringing]
- Oh, these long
school days, man.
- Tell me about it.
But at least
we're home now.
- LINCOLN: Wow!
I always forget how different
your house is from mine!
- Uh, you're
shouting, Lincoln.
- Oh, right. Sorry.
Force of habit.
- Hi, fellas.
Come on in.
- Hi, Mr. McBride.
Hi, Mr. McBride.
- Ooh, nice structure,
Lincoln.
Ready to get to work?
- You mean like now?
- HAROLD: [laughing]
Of course.
- Oh, hang on, Lincoln.
You have a loose button
on your shirt.
- Oh, well, I, uh...
- [laughing]
No worries.
- Thanks, Mr. McBride.
- Great good heavens!
It looks like the sole of your
shoe is about to fall off.
- Oh, that's just--
- No worries.
I'll just give it
a little tappity tap.
- Wow, you're not gonna
just use a stapler on that?
- Hold up, Lincoln.
Your sideburns are uneven.
- I know. Usually,
I just tilt my head.
- No worries.
- [razors buzzing]
- HAROLD: Perfect!
- HOWARD: Hot towel?
Sorry dinner's nothing fancy--
just roasted organic chicken
with a homemade marinade.
- And vegetables
from our garden.
Help yourself, Lincoln.
- There's no foil
to peel back?
- HAROLD: [chuckling]
Foil. LOL.
That's a hot one, Lincoln.
- Clyde, how was your day?
- It was great.
I lasted 37 seconds
in dodgeball.
- Did you hear that, Hare Bear?
Thirty-seven seconds.
- Good job, son.
And, Lincoln,
how was your day?
- [coughing]
What? Me?
You wanna know how
my day was? Now?
- [cellphone] ♪ Hallelujah!
- Oops, sorry.
- You know the rules, Dad.
No phones at
the dinner table.
- Seriously?
What about ants,
or pitching machines,
or toilet snakes?
- HAROLD: [laughing]
You're so funny, Lincoln.
Here, have seconds.
- [cellphone] ♪ Hallelujah!
- Oh, I thought
I turned this off.
Sorry we didn't finish your
volcano tonight, Lincoln.
Why don't you come
back tomorrow?
- It's mani-pedi night
at the McBride house.
- [voice wobbling]
Ooh, I love Italian food.
- [laughing]
You are too much, Lincoln.
- [vibrating chair stops]
- I gotta say--
getting some undivided
attention is pretty sweet,
and now, if you'll excuse me,
I've gotta give some undivided
attention to my hammies.
[voice wobbling]
Ohhh...yeah...
- LILY: [crying]
- LANA: Ya-hoo!
- LUAN: [laughing]
- [food splatting]
- Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
- [explosion]
- [sighing]
[slams door]
- Hey, Lincoln.
You look different.
- My sideburns are even.
- No, it's more than that.
Your skin is glowing,
you look taller,
and you smell like--
[sniffing]
organic brussels sprouts?
Okay, what gives?
- I spent tonight at Clyde's.
His dads helped me
with my volcano,
and served me food
with no foil,
and asked me about my day.
- Get out!
That sounds amazing!
Hey, do you think he could help
me with my baseball swing?
- Sure. I think Clyde
said one of his dads
played ball in college.
Why don't you come over
after school tomorrow?
- Oh, that would be awesome.
[punching]
- Ow! Lynn, do you mind?
Clyde's dads just gave
me my vaccinations.
- HOWARD: Goodbye.
- HAROLD: Take care.
- I just can't believe
Mr. McBride
spent a whole hour coaching me
and how about that dinner?
What was that special
thing they cooked again?
- Meat?
- Yeah.
It was amazing.
Ah, I'd punch you, but my arm
is sore from the vaccinations.
- Hey, peeps.
Wait, you look different.
Your nail beds are rockin'.
[sniffing]
And do I smell meat?
What's going on?
- We've been hanging
out with Clyde's dads.
They've been giving us all
kinds of one-on-one time.
- Rad! Hey, do you think
they could jam with me?
Dad's got a wicked canker
and he can't blow
the sax anymore.
- Sure. One of Clyde's
dads told me
he was in a band in college.
- Okay, but this is it.
If any more of you find out
about Clyde's dads,
the undivided attention is going
to get pretty divided.
- Don't worry, bro.
That was the car window.
- LYNN & LINCOLN:
Yeah, we get it.
- [guitar & saxophone jamming]
- LINCOLN: Well,
this is okay.
I can handle sharing with
a couple of sisters.
It could be worse.
- And the woodpecker said,
that's why I tell
knock-knock jokes.
[laughing]
- [beats drum, hits cymbal]
- Luan?
- Mr. McBride, would
you say I'm more
an Autumn or a Winter?
- You are
definitely a Summer.
- Literally, right?
- Lori?
- Lori? My future wife?
Here with my dads?
What do I do?
What do I do?
Oh, I know.
[sighing]
- Ya-hoo!
Mr. McBride, yo!
- Oh, I can't
believe you guys
have sodium salicylate
on the premises.
- GIRLS: Mr. McBride!
- ALL: [chattering]
- Mr. McBride?
Mr. McBride?
- Harold!
- What is it, Howie?
[gasping]
Great Betty Buckley!
- Poo poo!
- BOTH: The carpet!
- Poo poo, poo poo!
- Hey, you blabbed
our secret to everyone?
- No, bro, I would
never do that.
But I may have sung
it in the shower.
♪ Undivided attention
♪ So good but it can't
be mentioned ♪
♪ One-on-one time
is so really cool ♪
♪ Hangin' with Clyde's dads
after school ♪
Sorry. I was just so amped.
- LUCY: Dearly beloved,
we are gathered today
to say goodbye--
- Guys, I can't find my bedroom.
- Remember, Leni,
you're not in your own house.
- No talking at
your own funeral.
- GIRLS: [chattering]
- Mr. McBride, can you
help me with my volcano?
It's due tomorrow.
- Sure thing, Lincoln.
Just give me five minutes.
Luan wants me to
try out this pie.
- Hey, Mr. McB, wanna help
me with my volcano?
- Absolutely--uh, just give
me five minutes
while I help Lola with
her double pageant wings.
- [heavy sigh]
- [pie splats]
- So, that's what she meant
by "try out this pie."
Give me five more
minutes, Lincoln.
Gotta get this meringue
out of my eye.
- Where's Lori? Jam with Luna.
Find Lily.
- There we go.
Now who was it that
needed my help?
- [explosion]
- Lisa!
- This stinks, Clyde.
I finally get
some attention
and my sisters come
over here and hog it.
They all gotta go.
- I totally agree--
except for Lori.
I'm studying all
her quiz answers
and if I change
everything about myself,
we'll be soulmates.
- You know, if you
wanna impress Lori,
you can just talk to her.
- Yes, talk to her.
That's a valid--
[groans, head clunks]
- I've had just about
enough of this.
Now listen up!
- [object shatters]
- I guess I picked the wrong
day to stop shouting.
I said--
- Thank you, Lincoln.
I got it!
I am going to dominate
the Little Miss
Ambidextrous Pageant.
- You're the best, Lincoln.
Clyde's dads really helped
with my makeup.
Now if I can just
find my bedroom.
Nope, that's Lisa's room.
- Lincoln,
did you know Mr. McBride
put himself through theater
school working as a plumber?
He spent a whole hour
teaching me about flush valves.
- Wow, maybe I had it wrong.
My sisters aren't trying
to hog Clyde's dads.
They just want
a little attention, too,
and you know what?
I'm gonna let them have it.
But not this leftover meat.
That's coming with me.
Whew!
- MOM: Oh, Lincoln,
there you are.
I got some more materials
for your volcano.
- DAD: And I made my special
marinara sauce for lava.
- Wow, thanks!
You guys remembered
my volcano.
- DAD: Of course, we did.
We always planned to help.
We just needed to
find some time.
- MOM: We're sorry it
took so long, honey.
Did you do something
to your sideburns?
- [car brakes screeching,
car doors slamming]
[car tires squealing]
- We broke Clyde's dads.
- MOM: You did what?
- We were having a great time,
when all of a sudden,
they just snapped,
herded us into their car,
and drove us home.
- I have no idea what
precipitated this.
I simply suggested
a sleepover.
- Not everyone can
handle 11 kids
like Mom and Dad can.
- Hey, Dad, what did you
think of my future bride--Lori?
- Which one was she?
There were so many.
[shuddering]
- I'm sorry. Frozen dinners
were all I could manage.
- Dad, I think
you forgot to--
- HOWARD & HAROLD: [snoring]
- [shuddering]
- I guess I really
underestimated my parents.
Even if it takes a while,
they eventually find time
for all of us--every day.
No wonder Dad has
a wicked canker.
- GIRLS: [chattering]
- MOM & DAD:
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hold it!
Five minutes, girls.
We're helping Lincoln now.
- It's finished!
Ahem, drum roll, please.
Three...two...
...one!
- [marinara sauce splats]