The Last Word (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Episode #1.3 - full transcript
-[Karla] Fucking asshole!
-[items clattering]
Fuck off!
Fuck off!
-Fuck off now!
-[Stephan] Hey, hey, hey.
[Karla panting]
[Karla] You think
you can just show up here,
take me in your arms,
and everything's all right again?
Of course not, but…
aren't you impressed?
-[grunts]
-[clattering]
Hey! Shit, that was one of my best works.
Your best?
For two years you were hiding in here,
you lied to us, you ruined us!
For this? Huh? For this?
Hey, hey, hey.
[bell tolling]
-I wanted to tell you.
-You told Vivian!
[sighs]
I'll burn it all.
[Stephan] What? Karla!
[Stephan sighs]
There's a reason why I'm back.
I think.
[sighs]
Karla.
Karla!
♪ I'm gonna live till I die ♪
♪ I'm gonna laugh 'stead of cry ♪
♪ I'm gonna take the town
And turn it upside down ♪
♪ I'm gonna live, live, live until I die ♪
♪ Gonna dance, gonna fly ♪
♪ I'll take a chance ridin' high ♪
♪ Before my number's up
I'm gonna fill my cup ♪
♪ I'm gonna live, live, live, live, live ♪
♪ Until I die ♪
[brass band playing upbeat song]
[scat singing]
Yeah!
-Morning, Borowski.
-Ah, a very good morning to you, Gudrun.
[buzzing noise]
These are perfect.
For a funeral?
No… for my new eulogist.
Ah.
BOROWSKI FUNERAL SERVICE
ESTABLISHED 1890
[scat singing]
[spits]
It has to be brighter in here,
more welcoming, you know?
People have to feel good here,
-or at least comforted.
-[door chimes]
[humming]
[Karla] Andi.
-Borowski!
-[door closes]
Your new colleague is here.
They're not for me, are they?
[Andi sighs]
[whispers] Have fun.
Are they for me?
-No.
-Just kidding.
Can we continue? I have a few ideas.
Yes, sure.
[electronic music
playing through headphones]
[Judith] Tonio, I only want
what's best for you.
[Tonio] You want to have me committed.
-No!
-[Tonio] You do.
We're worried about you.
[Tonio] I'm doing great.
You've been sitting in the closet for days
and refuse to go to school!
[Tonio] So what?
Yeah, well… talk to Zina.
She's really nice.
She doesn't bite.
And if it sucks, you can leave.
Okay?
[Tonio] I'm not talking
about this anymore.
Get lost!
[softly] Fuck.
[Karla] Karla Fazius, eulogist.
I'm always here for you.
Just not right now.
[inhales] Hello, Karla. It's me again.
[exhales]
Where are you?
Listen, I found a therapist for Tonio,
but he won't leave the closet.
I could really use your help.
Call me back ASAP, okay?
Dammit.
-I'm off, then.
-[Tonio] Hallelujah.
["Eisern Union" by Nina Hagen playing]
It is now time to bid farewell to Maik.
[wind blowing]
If Maik were here now,
he would say, "Fuck it!"
"And fuck the weather!"
"Better 43 good years,
better 45 minutes of fantastic soccer,
than 90 wasted minutes."
["Eisern Union" continues playing]
Most of them cried.
Seventy percent.
The parents seemed
a bit reserved, no?
You can't please everyone.
[laughs]
[door chimes]
-[door closes]
-Hello?
["Karma Chameleon" by Culture Club
playing faintly]
♪ That my love ♪
Karla?
♪ Was an addiction ♪
♪ When we cling ♪
♪ Our love is strong ♪
♪ When you go ♪
♪ You're gone forever ♪
Hello?
♪ You string along ♪
♪ You string along ♪
♪ Karma, karma, karma, karma
Karma chameleon ♪
♪ You come and go ♪
♪ You come and go ♪
[camera clicks]
Oh. Hello.
Hello. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.
No problem.
[Judith] I'm looking for my mom.
She works here.
Karla?
She's not here right now. Sorry.
Oh. Okay.
You've been here before.
Yes.
[turns off music]
For your father, right?
Yes.
Okay, I'll let you get back to work.
Sorry. Bye.
-[footsteps depart]
-[exhales]
[chuckles]
[camera clicking]
Excuse me, you take pictures?
Did you photograph my dad too?
I think so, yes.
[Judith] If you have a photo,
I'd like to see it.
-I usually photograph them all.
-Fine, then give me the phone.
-I'll look for it myself.
-I'll find it for you.
Or did you do something perverted here?
Do you photograph dead pussies or dicks?
[Ronnie exhales]
Oh, fuck.
[sentimental music playing]
So? What do you think of them?
There's a bit too much make-up.
And the lighting… is crap.
So how's it going
with your stand-up eulogist?
"Stand-up eulogist"…
Yes, fine. She's doing well.
I see.
[Andi clears his throat]
I was thinking
of maybe bringing Karla on officially.
[scoffs]
How are you going to pay her?
[deep breath]
I'll think of something.
You want to fuck her.
-[Frauke laughing]
-[Andi] What did you say?
[Frauke laughing]
Over my dead body.
Or more likely yours.
-[knocking]
-[Karla] Tonio!
[knocking]
-Tonio!
-Yes?
-[Karla] Are you still sleeping?
-What?
[Karla] Breakfast is ready.
What is it?
-[knocks]
-[Karla] You're going to school today.
You forgot?
Fuck.
[electronic music
playing loudly in headphones]
[muffled yelling]
[sighs]
Tonio, take those things off.
Take those things off.
[yells] Take those things off!
Why are you still sitting here?
School's about to start, man!
And for the last time, Mina,
we are going to your appointment now.
And you're coming, too, please,
otherwise I'll kill her.
[electronic music playing]
[school bell rings]
[sobbing]
[Mina continues sobbing]
Stop crying now.
Let her cry.
But it's good news.
[sobbing]
[phone chimes]
PEER: YOU GOOD?
COULD USE YOUR HELP.
[doctor] You may have been given
another five or ten years.
But I don't want to live anymore!
Then I'm very sorry
I don't have worse news for you.
[Mina sobbing]
The cancer's still there.
[sobs, sniffles]
It's just growing very slowly at your age.
[sobbing]
What kind of cancer is it
that it can't even kill you properly?
I wish… [shaky inhale]
…I could die
as quickly as your husband. [sobbing]
[Judith] How dare you?
What we've got in stock
isn't all that up to date.
But you can choose one from the catalog.
They usually deliver fairly quickly.
It has to be cherry, painted white.
Is that possible?
Well, everything is possible.
But to paint cherry…
[deep breath]
…would be a pity for the beautiful wood.
-Well, she said…
-[Andi] Hmm?
"Out of the finest cherry wood,
my coffin should be made." [sniffs]
Everything should be bright.
We want it to be a cheerful ceremony.
That's what Mommy wanted.
No tears.
[deep breath]
Well, it's a funeral.
[Andi laughs nervously]
I mean, we'll do what we can,
-but if someone cries, they cry.
-[door chimes]
Sorry. I got held up.
This is Ms. Kronberger.
Ms. Kronberger, I'm Karla Fazius.
I'm the eulogist.
-Ah.
-Did I miss anything?
No, we only just started.
It's about Mommy.
She wants a cheerful funeral.
Okay.
She wants people dancing,
but Mommy's already taken care of that.
-And about the speech…
-No, I'll get that.
-Sorry.
-It's fine.
Um, tell me a bit about your mother.
Oh… Mommy was a very special person.
[inhales deeply]
[exhales]
Can you maybe elaborate?
-What would you like to know?
-Well, who she was.
What made her her.
What… hobbies did she have?
What passions, dreams,
wishes, hopes, everything…
It'd be nice to integrate that
into the service.
Well…
Um, she meant a lot to a lot of people.
Nice.
Because she cared for others.
She always said,
"Letizia, other people's needs are greater
than yours, so pull yourself together."
And how was your relationship
with your mother?
Good. Very good. Very, very good.
She was the most important person
in my life.
I don't know what I'll do without her.
She used to say that, too.
"Letizia…
you're useless and incompetent.
I don't know what you'd do without me."
Sounds like your mother
was quite an asshole.
[Andi clears his throat]
We'll finish discussing the casket first.
The catalog's in my office, okay?
It's going great.
-[camera clicks]
-[sighs]
Oh… No.
That doesn't work.
Sorry. It just looks crappy.
Can you take the picture so that
the TV Tower looks like a fourth ball?
No, sorry, nobody will understand that.
No one will get it.
Then I'll stand somewhere else.
Here, for instance?
[camera clicks]
Why… Why do you keep making
such dumb faces? That over-the-top grin.
-Do clowns have to look that stupid?
-[grunts]
Or is it your thing? Or…?
-It's my job… to make people laugh.
-[Judith] Okay.
Kids, the elderly,
the sick, the half-dead…
You think that's dumb, yeah?
As long as no one knows
I've got anything to do with the photos,
I don't give a shit.
Hey, seriously, thanks.
Really nice of you to help me.
Okay.
I'll see if there's one on here
to send to you.
[sighs] No, don't bother.
I'll find someone else.
We had a good time just now, didn't we?
-Yes, great.
-Can't you see how good we are together?
A match made in heaven.
[Peer] And how much good it would do you
to have someone to lean on?
-Yep. Bye.
-Sorry.
Yeah, right… Just leave.
Bye!
That's so weak, just leaving me here.
Man, stop!
[shoes squeaking]
[cell phone ringing and vibrating]
[sighs]
[Judith, in English]
Oh, no, no. I-I'm fine…
[door unlocking]
-[Theme from Lindenstraße plays on TV]
-I'm doing fine. Yeah.
Okay.
No. No, no, no, no.
I-I'm fine, thank you. Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah. Yeah, I-I'd love to do that,
-but I'm really busy at the moment.
-[Western plays on TV]
Thank you so much. Bye-bye.
[yelling on TV]
-[Mina, in German] A new job?
-Mind your own shit.
I don't have my "own shit."
[yelling on TV]
Tonio.
-[horse neighing on TV]
-Could you maybe top us off?
[man groans on TV]
[woman screams on TV]
-Hey!
-Those are mine.
[horse neighing on TV]
[gunshot on TV]
PEER: I CAN'T TAKE THIS!
WE HAVE TO TALK.
[groans]
Why can't everyone just leave me alone?
[phone chimes and vibrates]
[sighs]
[Konstantin] Hello, um… Mrs. Fazius.
Uh, Nowak, Konstantin Nowak speaking.
I keep seeing Sarah everywhere.
Wherever I look in the apartment.
She simply hasn't gone away.
I don't know what to do.
[crying] Everything reminds me of her.
[sniffles]
[sighs]
I'm sorry for calling.
I didn't know who else to call.
Okay, thank you!
[call disconnects]
[sighs]
[groans]
[thuds]
[keys lightly jangling]
[keys lightly jangling]
[keys jangling]
Two years.
Karla, please.
Why would it have been so bad
to tell me about this?
Okay.
Hold on.
Do you remember this?
[Karla] Yes, you gave it to me…
I gave it to you
for your birthday six years ago.
Yes, I know.
One of my first attempts.
What did you say when I gave it to you?
-I said, "Nice. That's nice."
-[chuckles]
You said we should stick it on the fridge.
That was a joke, Stephan.
-I was really pleased to get it.
-"I, being poor…
have only my dreams."
"I have spread my dreams under your feet.
Tread softly…
because you tread on my dreams."
Don't be so melodramatic.
[sighs] That's exactly what I mean.
[inhales deeply]
I did my job for 25 years.
For 25 years, I was always
just the workhorse, the provider.
And your whole life, all you've done
is search for what you want to do.
Trying this and that, then something else.
You tried everything.
And I'm reproached
for trying this one thing.
I don't need to listen to this.
-Yes, you do!
-[Karla] No, I don't.
-Karla, we're not done with each other.
-[Karla] No.
[plastic bag rustling]
[plastic bag rustling]
What are you doing?
[sighs]
I need to get rid of a few things
so I can get my life back on track.
[distant siren wailing]
[seat belt clicks]
Thanks.
We'll get through this.
[keys jangling
[Karla] Uh…
Where are Dad's things?
What have you done with his things?
We've taken them to the collection bin.
What?!
Without asking me?
You've… You…
[door slams shut]
Oh, fuck.
[yells] You didn't even ask me?
You can't just decide that without me!
I want Dad's stuff back! Where is it?
I need it! Where's his damn stuff?
-Here. We need the fucking key.
-I'll call. They'll come and open it up.
[Judith] They won't give you the key!
Are you… What are you thinking?
-What are you doing, Tonio? Get down.
-[Tonio] Let me go.
-Get down.
-Get out!
-Get down now, please.
-You're all to blame. Just push me in!
-Go on!
-No!
-No, get out.
-Push me in.
[Judith] Fuck. It'll break.
Something…
Can you hold on to something?
[thuds]
-And?
-[Tonio] Okay.
[laughs]
Okay, now back up.
Go on!
Another one.
[thudding]
Okay.
[thuds]
Another one.
[electronic music
playing loudly in headphones]
[music stops]
Okay, listen.
I have nothing to say to you, okay?
I'm here because my sister
convinced my mother that I'm losing it.
And that's bullshit. Sorry.
-I Googled my symptoms.
-[liquid pours]
I act exactly like someone
who has lost a loved one.
So…
I would suggest we stop this nonsense.
You do what you want,
I'll listen to my music, and we'll tell
my mom what she wants to hear. Okay?
[inhales deeply]
[exhales]
[sighs]
What kind of music are you listening to?
[knocking]
-[door opens]
-[sighs]
Hey. How's it going?
[Karla exhales]
I've been thinking
about the Kronberger funeral.
[Andi] Canceled.
What?
The daughter just canceled
the Kronberger funeral.
Why's that?
Maybe because
you called her mom an asshole.
Okay, but rightly so.
[inhales] Karla,
you're a professional eulogist now.
And decorum is more important
than the truth.
It's not lacking in decorum
to be upfront in a funeral speech
and call a spade a spade.
[Andi bangs on desk]
Our speeches are not tirades.
We don't insult the dead.
Decorum is key for us!
Yes, big time. With a capital D. I know.
Jesus, Karla…
[sighs]
That funeral was important for us.
[deep breath]
What are you doing now?
-I need the address.
-[Andi] What for?
I'll talk to her, I'll apologize,
and I'll tell her I'll give a nice,
normal speech with "Decorum."
Scout's honor.
[buzzes]
[dog barking in the distance]
[intercom crackles]
Hello, Ms. Kronberger, it's Karla Fazius.
[Letizia] Hello.
Um…
May I come in for a second?
[Letizia] No, no.
Mommy doesn't want me to have guests.
I'll come down.
Ah, o--
All right.
[bird squawking]
Hello.
[clears throat]
Ms. Kronberger, I'd like to apologize.
What I said about your mother
was out of line.
It's not my place to judge her.
Believe me, I know exactly how you feel.
We all want…
We all want to be loved by our par--
All of us.
And we can…
Well, we can't help, but…
to love our parents…
to want to love our parents.
And…
Um, can we talk about it again?
Can you give me another chance?
Yes, if it helps you.
Okay. I'll call you.
-[Letizia] Yeah.
-[door thuds]
[camera clicks]
-[door opens]
-[camera clicks]
Oh, here you are.
-[door closes]
-I've just finished with Mrs. Kronberger.
Good. Really good.
Hey, do you know
where your mother is?
I think she's outside somewhere.
I hardly see her these days.
She feeds her fish,
and then she's gone again.
I don't think she's happy
about Karla being here, is she?
No.
-I don't think she's happy either.
-[Andi] Hmm.
Karla sometimes overshoots the mark.
[inhales deeply, sighs]
-On the other hand, I get the feeling…
-[exhales]
…that things are finally
starting to look up.
[Ronnie sighs] Yeah.
And she managed to get back
the Kronberger funeral.
I see.
-Ronnie?
-Yes?
What would you do in my situation?
[sighs] Hmm.
I would follow my gut.
[Andi] Uh-huh.
I'm going to lunch.
Okay.
Enjoy.
[door opens]
[door closes]
Follow my gut.
Mommy was a yoga teacher,
and she worked with the homeless
and drug addicts.
After she'd died, lots of them wrote
about how important she was to them.
-Wow, that sounds impressive.
-[Letizia] Hmm.
[Karla sighs]
Did she do yoga with you too?
No.
When she gave lessons at home, then…
Then I had to hide in the bedroom,
because I ruined the ambiance.
Yes.
Yes…
My mom couldn't wait for me to grow up
and leave home.
I had a plush pony I loved playing with,
and… [inhales deeply]
One day, I came home from school
and it was gone.
She'd thrown it away.
I was too old for that, she said.
I was in second grade.
My mom…
used to go to an ashram in India
once a year for four weeks…
to meditate. [inhales deeply]
The first time she went, I was eight.
The neighbor popped over
every few days to check on me.
My mother gave a speech at my wedding,
offering me loads of money
if I broke it all off.
It sounds as if your mother is an asshole.
I think our mothers
would have got along very well.
-Do you think your mom was proud of you?
-Well, I certainly always tried my best.
Yeah…
But in the end,
I ruined it all by killing her.
I'm sorry, what?
She said the reason she got cancer was
because I always used to burn the food.
[Karla scoffs]
Letizia, I think your mother was
a very good person to other people,
but she was dreadful to you.
Yes, maybe.
Don't you feel like… screaming out loud?
"You damn…"
"You damn asshole, you ruined my life"?
Hmm?
I'd rather not.
[scoffs] I don't get it.
I thought we'd cleared it all up?
-Yes, but it doesn't feel right.
-Karla… [sighs]
You're not her therapist.
You're not her friend.
You're the eulogist.
-Yes, I am.
-[Andi] Yes.
But my job involves more
-than giving a speech.
-Karla, no!
We're going to arrange this funeral
exactly as Ms. Kronberger wants it.
Ms. Kronberger doesn't know
what she wants.
[clears throat]
[Andi] Karla…
Okay.
What?
Okay, fine.
Okay, fine. Will you give a normal speech?
-Yes, I'll try.
-You won't call the deceased an asshole?
I'll try. I'll really try, I promise.
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
[funeral guests singing]
[woman] I already feel better.
The choir was so nice.
[bell jingling]
[Karla] Dear mourners.
We are gathered here today
to bid farewell to a very special person.
To a helpful,
admirable, spiritual
and luminous person.
And to your mother.
Was Elisabeth Kronberger a good person?
Who here wouldn't answer that question
with a yes?
Who would claim anything different?
Elisabeth…
wanted to have a bright,
positive, happy funeral…
so that we remember her
exactly as she was.
But is this actually
about what Elisabeth wanted?
It's about what we…
want to send her on her way with.
-Cunt.
-[man] What?
Cunt.
[guests murmuring]
-[spits]
-[guests gasp]
-[woman] Oh, my God!
-[relieved sigh]
[yelling] You took care of everyone here
except me!
Everyone was lovable except me!
[guests murmuring]
[woman 2] Sit down.
I'll show you what I want
to send you on your way with!
[yells]
-[guests gasping]
-[woman 3] Violence isn't the answer.
[yelling] Leave me alone!
Go away!
You fuckers!
[screams]
-Stay away from me!
-[man] Please. This is a funeral.
Please show some decorum!
[groans]
-[clatters]
-[panting]
[Letizia laughs, then groans]
[groans]
[panting]
Mmm. [laughs, kisses]
[sighs]
Thank you.
For the first time in my life,
I feel like I can do what I want.
Great.
What do you think I should do now?
Well, that…
You have to decide that, right?
-[Andi] Shit.
-Yes.
[Andi] Mrs. Fazius.
You could visit me.
[Andi] Karla?
Um, I…
-[Andi] Come over, please.
-[Karla] I have to go.
Okay, I'll call you.
Bye!
-That was something, right?
-Yes, that was something.
I spent a long time explaining
to the cemetery manager what that was.
[Karla] Don't be like that.
It wasn't my fault. It happens sometimes.
[laughs]
"It happens…"
But not to me anymore.
Find yourself another doormat.
What does that mean? Andi.
[water bubbling]
[door chimes]
[keys jangling]
-Frauke?
-[keys clang]
-[door closes]
-Borowski.
[grunts softly]
I thought about what you said and, um…
[inhales deeply]
You're right.
Having Karla here, all the chaos…
It wasn't a good idea.
And so, in that regard…
Let's forget it
and do everything the way we used to.
[laughs]
-[laughs]
-We'll manage somehow…
-Won't we?
-[laughing]
Hey…
[hysterical laughter]
No one wants things to be
the way they used to be.
[Andi sighs]
Sell this damn place.
It's driving us crazy!
[footsteps departing]
[door opens]
[door closes]
[water bubbling]
[door opens]
[keys jangling]
-[door closes]
-[keys clang]
[Karla] Anyone home?
[sentimental music plays]
Hello?
Dead already?
I wish.
I was reminded of something recently.
-Do you remember my plush pony?
-[Mina] Hmm.
That you gave me for my sixth birthday?
Yes. What about it?
I never understood
why you took it away from me.
Were you just being mean,
or did you want to teach me something?
What are you talking about?
I spent years thinking about
what you wanted to teach me.
I never understood it.
I don't know what happened
to your damn pony, but…
I definitely didn't take it away from you.
Oh, come on.
I was a bad mother, but not a monster.
Statistically speaking,
you're due to go next.
But perhaps don't rush into it.
Don't be so melodramatic.
[crackling]
["Sparring Partner" by Paolo Conte plays]
[match strikes]
What are you doing there?
Come on now.
Come on.
I'm still angry.
[Stephan] That's exactly the point.
Why do you think I'm back?
[Karla] Mm-hmm.
You're not back. You're dead.
I'm here.
I'm here because we're not finished
with one another yet.
Does that mean that all this is just…
It's here
because we have things to sort out?
Indeed.
Am I going mad?
Well…
[camera clicking]
[mid-tempo music plays]
-[items clattering]
Fuck off!
Fuck off!
-Fuck off now!
-[Stephan] Hey, hey, hey.
[Karla panting]
[Karla] You think
you can just show up here,
take me in your arms,
and everything's all right again?
Of course not, but…
aren't you impressed?
-[grunts]
-[clattering]
Hey! Shit, that was one of my best works.
Your best?
For two years you were hiding in here,
you lied to us, you ruined us!
For this? Huh? For this?
Hey, hey, hey.
[bell tolling]
-I wanted to tell you.
-You told Vivian!
[sighs]
I'll burn it all.
[Stephan] What? Karla!
[Stephan sighs]
There's a reason why I'm back.
I think.
[sighs]
Karla.
Karla!
♪ I'm gonna live till I die ♪
♪ I'm gonna laugh 'stead of cry ♪
♪ I'm gonna take the town
And turn it upside down ♪
♪ I'm gonna live, live, live until I die ♪
♪ Gonna dance, gonna fly ♪
♪ I'll take a chance ridin' high ♪
♪ Before my number's up
I'm gonna fill my cup ♪
♪ I'm gonna live, live, live, live, live ♪
♪ Until I die ♪
[brass band playing upbeat song]
[scat singing]
Yeah!
-Morning, Borowski.
-Ah, a very good morning to you, Gudrun.
[buzzing noise]
These are perfect.
For a funeral?
No… for my new eulogist.
Ah.
BOROWSKI FUNERAL SERVICE
ESTABLISHED 1890
[scat singing]
[spits]
It has to be brighter in here,
more welcoming, you know?
People have to feel good here,
-or at least comforted.
-[door chimes]
[humming]
[Karla] Andi.
-Borowski!
-[door closes]
Your new colleague is here.
They're not for me, are they?
[Andi sighs]
[whispers] Have fun.
Are they for me?
-No.
-Just kidding.
Can we continue? I have a few ideas.
Yes, sure.
[electronic music
playing through headphones]
[Judith] Tonio, I only want
what's best for you.
[Tonio] You want to have me committed.
-No!
-[Tonio] You do.
We're worried about you.
[Tonio] I'm doing great.
You've been sitting in the closet for days
and refuse to go to school!
[Tonio] So what?
Yeah, well… talk to Zina.
She's really nice.
She doesn't bite.
And if it sucks, you can leave.
Okay?
[Tonio] I'm not talking
about this anymore.
Get lost!
[softly] Fuck.
[Karla] Karla Fazius, eulogist.
I'm always here for you.
Just not right now.
[inhales] Hello, Karla. It's me again.
[exhales]
Where are you?
Listen, I found a therapist for Tonio,
but he won't leave the closet.
I could really use your help.
Call me back ASAP, okay?
Dammit.
-I'm off, then.
-[Tonio] Hallelujah.
["Eisern Union" by Nina Hagen playing]
It is now time to bid farewell to Maik.
[wind blowing]
If Maik were here now,
he would say, "Fuck it!"
"And fuck the weather!"
"Better 43 good years,
better 45 minutes of fantastic soccer,
than 90 wasted minutes."
["Eisern Union" continues playing]
Most of them cried.
Seventy percent.
The parents seemed
a bit reserved, no?
You can't please everyone.
[laughs]
[door chimes]
-[door closes]
-Hello?
["Karma Chameleon" by Culture Club
playing faintly]
♪ That my love ♪
Karla?
♪ Was an addiction ♪
♪ When we cling ♪
♪ Our love is strong ♪
♪ When you go ♪
♪ You're gone forever ♪
Hello?
♪ You string along ♪
♪ You string along ♪
♪ Karma, karma, karma, karma
Karma chameleon ♪
♪ You come and go ♪
♪ You come and go ♪
[camera clicks]
Oh. Hello.
Hello. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.
No problem.
[Judith] I'm looking for my mom.
She works here.
Karla?
She's not here right now. Sorry.
Oh. Okay.
You've been here before.
Yes.
[turns off music]
For your father, right?
Yes.
Okay, I'll let you get back to work.
Sorry. Bye.
-[footsteps depart]
-[exhales]
[chuckles]
[camera clicking]
Excuse me, you take pictures?
Did you photograph my dad too?
I think so, yes.
[Judith] If you have a photo,
I'd like to see it.
-I usually photograph them all.
-Fine, then give me the phone.
-I'll look for it myself.
-I'll find it for you.
Or did you do something perverted here?
Do you photograph dead pussies or dicks?
[Ronnie exhales]
Oh, fuck.
[sentimental music playing]
So? What do you think of them?
There's a bit too much make-up.
And the lighting… is crap.
So how's it going
with your stand-up eulogist?
"Stand-up eulogist"…
Yes, fine. She's doing well.
I see.
[Andi clears his throat]
I was thinking
of maybe bringing Karla on officially.
[scoffs]
How are you going to pay her?
[deep breath]
I'll think of something.
You want to fuck her.
-[Frauke laughing]
-[Andi] What did you say?
[Frauke laughing]
Over my dead body.
Or more likely yours.
-[knocking]
-[Karla] Tonio!
[knocking]
-Tonio!
-Yes?
-[Karla] Are you still sleeping?
-What?
[Karla] Breakfast is ready.
What is it?
-[knocks]
-[Karla] You're going to school today.
You forgot?
Fuck.
[electronic music
playing loudly in headphones]
[muffled yelling]
[sighs]
Tonio, take those things off.
Take those things off.
[yells] Take those things off!
Why are you still sitting here?
School's about to start, man!
And for the last time, Mina,
we are going to your appointment now.
And you're coming, too, please,
otherwise I'll kill her.
[electronic music playing]
[school bell rings]
[sobbing]
[Mina continues sobbing]
Stop crying now.
Let her cry.
But it's good news.
[sobbing]
[phone chimes]
PEER: YOU GOOD?
COULD USE YOUR HELP.
[doctor] You may have been given
another five or ten years.
But I don't want to live anymore!
Then I'm very sorry
I don't have worse news for you.
[Mina sobbing]
The cancer's still there.
[sobs, sniffles]
It's just growing very slowly at your age.
[sobbing]
What kind of cancer is it
that it can't even kill you properly?
I wish… [shaky inhale]
…I could die
as quickly as your husband. [sobbing]
[Judith] How dare you?
What we've got in stock
isn't all that up to date.
But you can choose one from the catalog.
They usually deliver fairly quickly.
It has to be cherry, painted white.
Is that possible?
Well, everything is possible.
But to paint cherry…
[deep breath]
…would be a pity for the beautiful wood.
-Well, she said…
-[Andi] Hmm?
"Out of the finest cherry wood,
my coffin should be made." [sniffs]
Everything should be bright.
We want it to be a cheerful ceremony.
That's what Mommy wanted.
No tears.
[deep breath]
Well, it's a funeral.
[Andi laughs nervously]
I mean, we'll do what we can,
-but if someone cries, they cry.
-[door chimes]
Sorry. I got held up.
This is Ms. Kronberger.
Ms. Kronberger, I'm Karla Fazius.
I'm the eulogist.
-Ah.
-Did I miss anything?
No, we only just started.
It's about Mommy.
She wants a cheerful funeral.
Okay.
She wants people dancing,
but Mommy's already taken care of that.
-And about the speech…
-No, I'll get that.
-Sorry.
-It's fine.
Um, tell me a bit about your mother.
Oh… Mommy was a very special person.
[inhales deeply]
[exhales]
Can you maybe elaborate?
-What would you like to know?
-Well, who she was.
What made her her.
What… hobbies did she have?
What passions, dreams,
wishes, hopes, everything…
It'd be nice to integrate that
into the service.
Well…
Um, she meant a lot to a lot of people.
Nice.
Because she cared for others.
She always said,
"Letizia, other people's needs are greater
than yours, so pull yourself together."
And how was your relationship
with your mother?
Good. Very good. Very, very good.
She was the most important person
in my life.
I don't know what I'll do without her.
She used to say that, too.
"Letizia…
you're useless and incompetent.
I don't know what you'd do without me."
Sounds like your mother
was quite an asshole.
[Andi clears his throat]
We'll finish discussing the casket first.
The catalog's in my office, okay?
It's going great.
-[camera clicks]
-[sighs]
Oh… No.
That doesn't work.
Sorry. It just looks crappy.
Can you take the picture so that
the TV Tower looks like a fourth ball?
No, sorry, nobody will understand that.
No one will get it.
Then I'll stand somewhere else.
Here, for instance?
[camera clicks]
Why… Why do you keep making
such dumb faces? That over-the-top grin.
-Do clowns have to look that stupid?
-[grunts]
Or is it your thing? Or…?
-It's my job… to make people laugh.
-[Judith] Okay.
Kids, the elderly,
the sick, the half-dead…
You think that's dumb, yeah?
As long as no one knows
I've got anything to do with the photos,
I don't give a shit.
Hey, seriously, thanks.
Really nice of you to help me.
Okay.
I'll see if there's one on here
to send to you.
[sighs] No, don't bother.
I'll find someone else.
We had a good time just now, didn't we?
-Yes, great.
-Can't you see how good we are together?
A match made in heaven.
[Peer] And how much good it would do you
to have someone to lean on?
-Yep. Bye.
-Sorry.
Yeah, right… Just leave.
Bye!
That's so weak, just leaving me here.
Man, stop!
[shoes squeaking]
[cell phone ringing and vibrating]
[sighs]
[Judith, in English]
Oh, no, no. I-I'm fine…
[door unlocking]
-[Theme from Lindenstraße plays on TV]
-I'm doing fine. Yeah.
Okay.
No. No, no, no, no.
I-I'm fine, thank you. Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah. Yeah, I-I'd love to do that,
-but I'm really busy at the moment.
-[Western plays on TV]
Thank you so much. Bye-bye.
[yelling on TV]
-[Mina, in German] A new job?
-Mind your own shit.
I don't have my "own shit."
[yelling on TV]
Tonio.
-[horse neighing on TV]
-Could you maybe top us off?
[man groans on TV]
[woman screams on TV]
-Hey!
-Those are mine.
[horse neighing on TV]
[gunshot on TV]
PEER: I CAN'T TAKE THIS!
WE HAVE TO TALK.
[groans]
Why can't everyone just leave me alone?
[phone chimes and vibrates]
[sighs]
[Konstantin] Hello, um… Mrs. Fazius.
Uh, Nowak, Konstantin Nowak speaking.
I keep seeing Sarah everywhere.
Wherever I look in the apartment.
She simply hasn't gone away.
I don't know what to do.
[crying] Everything reminds me of her.
[sniffles]
[sighs]
I'm sorry for calling.
I didn't know who else to call.
Okay, thank you!
[call disconnects]
[sighs]
[groans]
[thuds]
[keys lightly jangling]
[keys lightly jangling]
[keys jangling]
Two years.
Karla, please.
Why would it have been so bad
to tell me about this?
Okay.
Hold on.
Do you remember this?
[Karla] Yes, you gave it to me…
I gave it to you
for your birthday six years ago.
Yes, I know.
One of my first attempts.
What did you say when I gave it to you?
-I said, "Nice. That's nice."
-[chuckles]
You said we should stick it on the fridge.
That was a joke, Stephan.
-I was really pleased to get it.
-"I, being poor…
have only my dreams."
"I have spread my dreams under your feet.
Tread softly…
because you tread on my dreams."
Don't be so melodramatic.
[sighs] That's exactly what I mean.
[inhales deeply]
I did my job for 25 years.
For 25 years, I was always
just the workhorse, the provider.
And your whole life, all you've done
is search for what you want to do.
Trying this and that, then something else.
You tried everything.
And I'm reproached
for trying this one thing.
I don't need to listen to this.
-Yes, you do!
-[Karla] No, I don't.
-Karla, we're not done with each other.
-[Karla] No.
[plastic bag rustling]
[plastic bag rustling]
What are you doing?
[sighs]
I need to get rid of a few things
so I can get my life back on track.
[distant siren wailing]
[seat belt clicks]
Thanks.
We'll get through this.
[keys jangling
[Karla] Uh…
Where are Dad's things?
What have you done with his things?
We've taken them to the collection bin.
What?!
Without asking me?
You've… You…
[door slams shut]
Oh, fuck.
[yells] You didn't even ask me?
You can't just decide that without me!
I want Dad's stuff back! Where is it?
I need it! Where's his damn stuff?
-Here. We need the fucking key.
-I'll call. They'll come and open it up.
[Judith] They won't give you the key!
Are you… What are you thinking?
-What are you doing, Tonio? Get down.
-[Tonio] Let me go.
-Get down.
-Get out!
-Get down now, please.
-You're all to blame. Just push me in!
-Go on!
-No!
-No, get out.
-Push me in.
[Judith] Fuck. It'll break.
Something…
Can you hold on to something?
[thuds]
-And?
-[Tonio] Okay.
[laughs]
Okay, now back up.
Go on!
Another one.
[thudding]
Okay.
[thuds]
Another one.
[electronic music
playing loudly in headphones]
[music stops]
Okay, listen.
I have nothing to say to you, okay?
I'm here because my sister
convinced my mother that I'm losing it.
And that's bullshit. Sorry.
-I Googled my symptoms.
-[liquid pours]
I act exactly like someone
who has lost a loved one.
So…
I would suggest we stop this nonsense.
You do what you want,
I'll listen to my music, and we'll tell
my mom what she wants to hear. Okay?
[inhales deeply]
[exhales]
[sighs]
What kind of music are you listening to?
[knocking]
-[door opens]
-[sighs]
Hey. How's it going?
[Karla exhales]
I've been thinking
about the Kronberger funeral.
[Andi] Canceled.
What?
The daughter just canceled
the Kronberger funeral.
Why's that?
Maybe because
you called her mom an asshole.
Okay, but rightly so.
[inhales] Karla,
you're a professional eulogist now.
And decorum is more important
than the truth.
It's not lacking in decorum
to be upfront in a funeral speech
and call a spade a spade.
[Andi bangs on desk]
Our speeches are not tirades.
We don't insult the dead.
Decorum is key for us!
Yes, big time. With a capital D. I know.
Jesus, Karla…
[sighs]
That funeral was important for us.
[deep breath]
What are you doing now?
-I need the address.
-[Andi] What for?
I'll talk to her, I'll apologize,
and I'll tell her I'll give a nice,
normal speech with "Decorum."
Scout's honor.
[buzzes]
[dog barking in the distance]
[intercom crackles]
Hello, Ms. Kronberger, it's Karla Fazius.
[Letizia] Hello.
Um…
May I come in for a second?
[Letizia] No, no.
Mommy doesn't want me to have guests.
I'll come down.
Ah, o--
All right.
[bird squawking]
Hello.
[clears throat]
Ms. Kronberger, I'd like to apologize.
What I said about your mother
was out of line.
It's not my place to judge her.
Believe me, I know exactly how you feel.
We all want…
We all want to be loved by our par--
All of us.
And we can…
Well, we can't help, but…
to love our parents…
to want to love our parents.
And…
Um, can we talk about it again?
Can you give me another chance?
Yes, if it helps you.
Okay. I'll call you.
-[Letizia] Yeah.
-[door thuds]
[camera clicks]
-[door opens]
-[camera clicks]
Oh, here you are.
-[door closes]
-I've just finished with Mrs. Kronberger.
Good. Really good.
Hey, do you know
where your mother is?
I think she's outside somewhere.
I hardly see her these days.
She feeds her fish,
and then she's gone again.
I don't think she's happy
about Karla being here, is she?
No.
-I don't think she's happy either.
-[Andi] Hmm.
Karla sometimes overshoots the mark.
[inhales deeply, sighs]
-On the other hand, I get the feeling…
-[exhales]
…that things are finally
starting to look up.
[Ronnie sighs] Yeah.
And she managed to get back
the Kronberger funeral.
I see.
-Ronnie?
-Yes?
What would you do in my situation?
[sighs] Hmm.
I would follow my gut.
[Andi] Uh-huh.
I'm going to lunch.
Okay.
Enjoy.
[door opens]
[door closes]
Follow my gut.
Mommy was a yoga teacher,
and she worked with the homeless
and drug addicts.
After she'd died, lots of them wrote
about how important she was to them.
-Wow, that sounds impressive.
-[Letizia] Hmm.
[Karla sighs]
Did she do yoga with you too?
No.
When she gave lessons at home, then…
Then I had to hide in the bedroom,
because I ruined the ambiance.
Yes.
Yes…
My mom couldn't wait for me to grow up
and leave home.
I had a plush pony I loved playing with,
and… [inhales deeply]
One day, I came home from school
and it was gone.
She'd thrown it away.
I was too old for that, she said.
I was in second grade.
My mom…
used to go to an ashram in India
once a year for four weeks…
to meditate. [inhales deeply]
The first time she went, I was eight.
The neighbor popped over
every few days to check on me.
My mother gave a speech at my wedding,
offering me loads of money
if I broke it all off.
It sounds as if your mother is an asshole.
I think our mothers
would have got along very well.
-Do you think your mom was proud of you?
-Well, I certainly always tried my best.
Yeah…
But in the end,
I ruined it all by killing her.
I'm sorry, what?
She said the reason she got cancer was
because I always used to burn the food.
[Karla scoffs]
Letizia, I think your mother was
a very good person to other people,
but she was dreadful to you.
Yes, maybe.
Don't you feel like… screaming out loud?
"You damn…"
"You damn asshole, you ruined my life"?
Hmm?
I'd rather not.
[scoffs] I don't get it.
I thought we'd cleared it all up?
-Yes, but it doesn't feel right.
-Karla… [sighs]
You're not her therapist.
You're not her friend.
You're the eulogist.
-Yes, I am.
-[Andi] Yes.
But my job involves more
-than giving a speech.
-Karla, no!
We're going to arrange this funeral
exactly as Ms. Kronberger wants it.
Ms. Kronberger doesn't know
what she wants.
[clears throat]
[Andi] Karla…
Okay.
What?
Okay, fine.
Okay, fine. Will you give a normal speech?
-Yes, I'll try.
-You won't call the deceased an asshole?
I'll try. I'll really try, I promise.
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
[funeral guests singing]
[woman] I already feel better.
The choir was so nice.
[bell jingling]
[Karla] Dear mourners.
We are gathered here today
to bid farewell to a very special person.
To a helpful,
admirable, spiritual
and luminous person.
And to your mother.
Was Elisabeth Kronberger a good person?
Who here wouldn't answer that question
with a yes?
Who would claim anything different?
Elisabeth…
wanted to have a bright,
positive, happy funeral…
so that we remember her
exactly as she was.
But is this actually
about what Elisabeth wanted?
It's about what we…
want to send her on her way with.
-Cunt.
-[man] What?
Cunt.
[guests murmuring]
-[spits]
-[guests gasp]
-[woman] Oh, my God!
-[relieved sigh]
[yelling] You took care of everyone here
except me!
Everyone was lovable except me!
[guests murmuring]
[woman 2] Sit down.
I'll show you what I want
to send you on your way with!
[yells]
-[guests gasping]
-[woman 3] Violence isn't the answer.
[yelling] Leave me alone!
Go away!
You fuckers!
[screams]
-Stay away from me!
-[man] Please. This is a funeral.
Please show some decorum!
[groans]
-[clatters]
-[panting]
[Letizia laughs, then groans]
[groans]
[panting]
Mmm. [laughs, kisses]
[sighs]
Thank you.
For the first time in my life,
I feel like I can do what I want.
Great.
What do you think I should do now?
Well, that…
You have to decide that, right?
-[Andi] Shit.
-Yes.
[Andi] Mrs. Fazius.
You could visit me.
[Andi] Karla?
Um, I…
-[Andi] Come over, please.
-[Karla] I have to go.
Okay, I'll call you.
Bye!
-That was something, right?
-Yes, that was something.
I spent a long time explaining
to the cemetery manager what that was.
[Karla] Don't be like that.
It wasn't my fault. It happens sometimes.
[laughs]
"It happens…"
But not to me anymore.
Find yourself another doormat.
What does that mean? Andi.
[water bubbling]
[door chimes]
[keys jangling]
-Frauke?
-[keys clang]
-[door closes]
-Borowski.
[grunts softly]
I thought about what you said and, um…
[inhales deeply]
You're right.
Having Karla here, all the chaos…
It wasn't a good idea.
And so, in that regard…
Let's forget it
and do everything the way we used to.
[laughs]
-[laughs]
-We'll manage somehow…
-Won't we?
-[laughing]
Hey…
[hysterical laughter]
No one wants things to be
the way they used to be.
[Andi sighs]
Sell this damn place.
It's driving us crazy!
[footsteps departing]
[door opens]
[door closes]
[water bubbling]
[door opens]
[keys jangling]
-[door closes]
-[keys clang]
[Karla] Anyone home?
[sentimental music plays]
Hello?
Dead already?
I wish.
I was reminded of something recently.
-Do you remember my plush pony?
-[Mina] Hmm.
That you gave me for my sixth birthday?
Yes. What about it?
I never understood
why you took it away from me.
Were you just being mean,
or did you want to teach me something?
What are you talking about?
I spent years thinking about
what you wanted to teach me.
I never understood it.
I don't know what happened
to your damn pony, but…
I definitely didn't take it away from you.
Oh, come on.
I was a bad mother, but not a monster.
Statistically speaking,
you're due to go next.
But perhaps don't rush into it.
Don't be so melodramatic.
[crackling]
["Sparring Partner" by Paolo Conte plays]
[match strikes]
What are you doing there?
Come on now.
Come on.
I'm still angry.
[Stephan] That's exactly the point.
Why do you think I'm back?
[Karla] Mm-hmm.
You're not back. You're dead.
I'm here.
I'm here because we're not finished
with one another yet.
Does that mean that all this is just…
It's here
because we have things to sort out?
Indeed.
Am I going mad?
Well…
[camera clicking]
[mid-tempo music plays]