The L Word (2004–2009): Season 5, Episode 7 - Lesbians Gone Wild - full transcript

And we're here on the set of "Lez Girls"

where director Jennifer Schecter

is filming her groundbreaking new movie

about a close-knit group
of lesbian friends

living in Los Angeles.

Let's take a look.

And

action.

I hope I didn't upset you too much
the other night.

Oh, no.

It's just...



Oh fuck! Line?

I... no, I... it's just, you know,

- I thought I should tell you...
- Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thank you. I got it.

And action...

I know, it's...

It's just that I thought
I should tell you that, you know, um...

- Well, I'm not a...
- ...a bi-coffee drinker?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- Jenny, I can't work like this.
- It's funny!

- Funny?
- Oh, my... Screw you, Begonia!

You know, I'm so sick of you
ragging on me all the time.

You know, how am I supposed to act
with her

- hating me across the table?
- You know what?



It's called acting.
Why don't you try it?

Oh, it's called acting with an asshole!

Why don't you come back another time?

We'll just get another scene. Okay?

- So, cut.
- Yeah, that's okay.

What?

Who the fuck is..
Who the fuck are you?

It's EPK.

What the fuck is EPK?

- It's the...
- ...the Electronic Press Kit.

What? What does that mean?

- So the studio hires...
- Is this a spy?

someone to do behind...
No, behind means footage for the...

- DVDs. Yeah.
- The extras.

- They're gonna put this on the DVD?
- No.

- I think they'll wait to another scene.
- But the DVD hasn't been released yet.

Okay, you get the fuck off my set.

Hey, check it out.
Come in at the wrestling.

It's gonna be such an awesome night.

- I hope you'll make it.
- Yeah, yeah.

Jenny and I have spoken to Begonia.
The situation is contained.

For now. But I really want
Niki to stay focused, all right?

I want zero distractions.
What is that?

"Lesbian Turkish Oil Wrestling
at SheBar Tonight"?

Oh my God! There is no way
I'm gonna let

Dawn Denbo and her lover Cindi
recruit customers from our set. Okay?

- Confiscate these, Adele.
- Got it.

And don't let Niki see those.
Zero distractions.

- Zero.
- Absolutely.

Hi. Yeah, sorry. You can't,
you can't pass them out here. Sorry.

Hey, Jenny, we're gonna need you in 5.

- Okay, thanks.
- Right.

You know, Begonia is such a CUNT.

That's very good,
you know how to spell cunt.

Well, that is exactly what she is.

Listen, I need you
to do me a really big favor.

I need you to start being nice to her
on set because

it's hurting her feelings and
that doesn't make the scene better, okay?

Please.

- Please...
- Okay, fine. But...

it's only because I'm doing it for you.
And that is the only

- reason why.
- Okay.

Thank you.

I'll see you later.

- Come here. Come here.
- What?

- Hey!
- What?

- Would you come and visit me later?
- No! I have to go talk to Sam.

- And be serious.
- I'll make it worth you a while.

Go away!

Welcome to California, Colonel Davis.

Well, it's nice to see you again,
Colonel Smythe.

- Can I give you a hand there?
- Oh, please, Jon.

Same old Jill.

How's Joan?

Good. Playing golf
and enjoying the emptiness.

- How's your golfing these days?
- It's gone to hell.

Too much work. But I still enjoy
a good scotch in the officer's club.

I think Bowmore, right?

- Yeah, of course.
- Oh, Beech!

- Sir?
- Captain Beech,

I'd like you to meet
Colonel Gillian Davis.

- Ma'am.
- She's an estimed collegue and a good friend.

- Nice to meet you, Captain Beech.
- Pleasure's mine, Ma'am.

Colonel Davis is with us on temporary assignment
from the National Guard Bureau.

She'll be doing back field
on our cases

as the prosecuting attorney.

Captain Beech is
on our defense counsel staff.

You'll be opposing counsel at times.

- So you're the ennemy.
- I certainly hope not, Ma'am.

We all serve the same country.

Well, there's no need to start sweatin'.
I haven't gone over the caseload yet.

- I hope to give you a run for your money, Colonel.
- Oh, that's good.

I enjoy a man with confidence.

It makes all that much more enjoyable
when I crush him.

We are fucked, Williams.
Pardon my french.

Why? What happened?

Gillian Davis is assigned here
on detail for back field.

- She's prosecuting our case.
- Who's Colonel Gillian Davis?

She's military life, hard ass by the book

and the winningest prosecutor
in the field.

Remember that hazing incident

- blew up in West Point in 03?
- Yeah.

Come read this.

The plebs who sexually assaulted
some female cadets.

That's right. They were following orders
from first classman,

the women all filed charge.

And Colonel Gillian Davis was
brought in as chief prosecuting attorney.

She broke all the defendants down,

all the boys were dismissed
from the academy

and West Point officially
banned hazing as a practice.

I admire what she did.
She sounds highly principled.

Read that quote, right there.

"What's most important here is that

"these men were in direct violation
of the uniform code of military justice.

"They violated the honor code.

"Maintaining these codes is paramount
to keeping the military strong

"and ultimately keeping our nation secured".

That is practically verbatim
the military stand on homosexual conduct.

I'm gonna go for a cup of coffee.

So call in and let us know
what you think

of our special host, Alice Pieszecki,

who is here with us today
direct from her ultra-hip

and controversial website,
MyChart.

OurChart, yeah.
It's, it's

- a social networking site for lesbians...
- And viewers remember,

it is up to you to help us decide
who will replace Kelly.

So, at the end of the show,
we'll give you the number to call

and you can call in,
and cast your vote for Alice.

- Yes!
- Frankly, I think the internet

is mostly used for cowards,
to voice opinions without proof,

- A lot of people say that.
- ...facts or consequences.

Well, I think the internet
is a great source for news.

By news, do you mean
Paris Hilton's sex days?

- Well...
- You have to admit, Alice,

with the hard news,
real reporters show their faces

- and say their names.
- Now they do.

- Well...
- Well, take wikipedia.

Masquerade is the reference site.

But anybody can add
any information they want to it.

- No, no.
- Yes. No fat checking. No truth.

But, does anybody really believe
what they hear on Fox News?

I hate Mary Lamm!

Why is she giving Alice such a hard time?

I cannot believe
Phyllis roped me into this.

Like I don't have enough to do without
spending the day with Molly, babysitting.

Showing her that lesbians can be
respectable, stable, accomplished people,

or whatever the hell it is
I'm supposed to be doing.

Where you're going?

I thought I would take her
to some galleries and

maybe go by the "Lez Girls" set later.

- Do you wanna come?
- Yeah. I've got nothin' but time

since the Planet was closed this week.
So...

Are you going?

No, I'm having lunch with Amy.

- Your ex?
- It's just a friend.

Ready to go to some galleries?

Yeah, I don't really
understand modern art.

- This is my sister Kit. This is Molly.
- Hi.

Hi.

I'm so glad that
Kelly Corrigan left that show.

She was obnoxious.

Alice is a friend of ours.

And your mother too.

I mean, it's a great source for
misinformation and urban legends, but

- it's easy.
- See, but that's my point.

That's where I know her from.

My mother's degrading podcast.

May I help you with that, Colonel?

No, thank you, Captain.

But if you wouldn't mind
grabbing that case...

Yeah, of course.

You can just put that over there.

Thank you.

- Gillian Davis.
- Tasha Williams.

I see you've been in combat, Williams.

Afghanistan or Iraq?

Iraq, M'am, 18 months.

We have a lot of women
over there on the front lines.

Must have seen your share
of bullets fly.

Yeah, my company was engaged
in the direct line of fire, quite a few times.

The closest I have ever been
to direct fire was in

Panama, 89.

Lawyers don't exactly get to see
a lot of action.

Will you do another tour?

My company is deployed in Iraq
right now.

- I've been held back.
- Were you injured?

No, Ma'am.

I'm being reviewed for separation.

On what violation?

Chapter 15.

I believe
you'll be prosecuting my case.

This is completely a bridge of protocol,
Williams.

You know we aren't supposed
to be engaged

in any conversation until the hearing.

I'm sorry, Colonel.
I was just trying to give you a hand.

You are dismissed, Captain.

Well, it looks like
we've got our topic of the day,

the internet, do we believe it?
Stay tuned. We'll be right back.

Hey, Alice, so...

you don't have and feel Kelly's shoes.

We're not necessarily
looking for controversy.

Was I too controversial?
'Cause I thought I was...

No, no, we just don't need
another Luce Can and now your lifestyle,

it's your lifestyle, and that's all.

Are you saying you don't want me
to be out? Just because

I think that at this stage of my life,
it's a little hard to...

- Oh, no, no, that's not what we're saying.
- No, we definitively want gay.

- No, gay is good.
- Gay is good.

- Gay is rising a day time!
- You know, we just want the right kind of gay.

Yeah, like fun gay!

- Not angry gay.
- Fun gay?

Yeah, gossip, gay lifestyle,
you know, fun!

We loved that Daryl Brewer shoot
that you pulled,

seriously, that was some of your best work.
We're looking for things like that.

Little inside or tib-hits about
famous people who're in the closet.

We kinda figured you would have
one of those on every episode.

Oh, so you want me to out people?

- On every episode?
- That would be sensational.

That is

- only if you want the job.
- Here we go!

And we're back in 5,

4,

3,

2...

Welcome back to "The Look"
for the viewers.

If you're just joining us,
our topic today is the internet.

Is it a great source of news or

is it a trendy source
of speculation and gossip.

Yeah, but I think what you're missing
is the internet gave people,

you know, the chance to go out
and seek different sources of information.

Well, isn't that what that chart does, Alice?
It offers an alternative point of view.

Yes, it does do that. That is
one of the things that OurChart does,

- among other things.
- So, for example,

the personal details of
celebrity's sex life

would be part of that
alternative point of view, I assume.

Well, yeah, the internet is, is

knowing for revealing
people's hidden sexual identities. Yeah.

- What have you got?
- Tell us.

Yeah, that's something
I would love to bring to "The Look".

I would love to do that.

- Oh come on, give us some!
- Yeah, come on!

Dish, dish, dish...!

Now is a good time?

What do I have for you...

- Do tell.
- I know what you're looking for.

Okay, which Hollywood

little Maxim-endorsed gorgeous
little starlet

is a little bit closer to her

role as a sapphic sister

Hollywood's
new girl-on-girl smoochfest?

- It's all I'm gonna say.
- It's time to stop now.

- So maybe you'll tell us next time.
- I'm gonna tease you.

You are bad!

I am gonna tease you.
Thank you.

- See?
- Fun gay!

Fun gay!

MUSIK

- Oh my God, hi!
- Hi.

How are you?

Can you just tell them
that we need to talk for a second?

Yeah, yeah.

Everyone, can you guys just go out
for one sec, please?

- Booty call!
- No, we're rehearsing the film.

What were you guys doing in there?

- She was checking you out.
- No, she wasn't

- hot checking me out.
- Yes, yes.

She was...

- Hi.
- Hi. How are you?

I came in here 'cause

Tina wanted me to come
and talk to you.

- Oh really, she did? She wanted you to do this?
- Yeah.

She actually said

maybe we shouldn't be so obvious on set.

That we should try to be

a little more settled about things. But...

- Is this settled?
- Uh, yeah, that's really, that's really good.

I think this is exactly
what she's talking about.

Guys, I can handle the situation.

There is no reason to freak out.

Are you fucking kidding me?!

I'm managing an actress
who was about to go through the roof,

and she's just got out
on national television!

And who is this Alice Pieszecki?
Do you even know this person?

And who is handling security?

We've completely tighted security, okay?

- That should have been done already.
- Look, I've talked to our legal department,

and I've talked to our publicists.

We agreed to issue a press release
steading that Gretchen Pickles

is the only gay cast member.

The press is not gonna get
anywhere near Niki.

- Okay?
- Good. Because if this gets out,

- I will personally blame you.
- Tina, can I talk to you for a minute?

- Then I will blame you.
- Excuse me you guys.

We're shooting right now.
This is our DP.

- I have to go.
- Nice to meet you.

You see that truck over there?
Help yourself to lunch.

I'll talk to you later.

God! Fucking managers!

What's up?

I need a tech crane
with free access at.

You can't have a crane.

But I need one.

- For how long?
- Three days.

What are you going to give me
if I give you a crane?

My undying love and devotion.

I think Tina's got a thing going on the set!

- Is that your girlfriend?
- No, no, no.

Ex. Ex, ex. It's
my daughter's other mother.

- Why don't you come meet them?
- Yeah.

She seems really...

Hi. Kit Porter, Bette Porter,

- and... I'm sorry?
- Molly Krull.

This is Sam Makarejev.
This is our DP. She,

she shot "Miss Otis Regrets".

- Wow, it's nice to meet you.
- Likewise.

- Uh, I'll catch you later.
- Okay.

- Thanks.
- Thanks, Sam.

- What?
- I mean, she's flirting with you.

Oh, don't be silly.

Uh, do you guys mind?
I just want to talk to

- Tina about Angie for...
- Preschool?

- The preschool things.
- Oh, no. Go ahead. Come on.

I'll show you around. I'll show you
the set. It's like my own place.

Hey, Molly?

I will catch up with you.

- Don't worry. I'm fine.
- Okay.

Check it out.

Oh my God! This is supposed
to be our bedroom?

No. It's Bev and Nina's bedroom.

It looks like the children's department
at God-knows-where.

Well, it's Jenny's design choices.

There's nothing I could do about it.
I had to let her have her way.

Look at the phone.

At least it's not a waterbed.

Well, I had to fight her on that one.

So,

which side of the bed is Nina's?

I don't know.

Maybe this side...

Yeah, that feels right.

So, maybe this side would be Bev's side.

And...

Do you have any hard rock candy?

No.

But I have some pot.

Hey, anyone you guys knows
where is Tina?

What the hell was that?

Hey Tina,
the girls are asking for you on set.

I'll be right there.

Gotta go.
Gotta put out the fire.

The size of you doesn't scare me.

I'm small and I can outrun you.

Have I told you that I'm the earth mother
of the producer's child?

I've been here like a billion times.
I'm clear.

Please just call Tina Kennard!

- I was told to call Mr. Kornbluth.
- I don't who Mr. Buetooth is.

If I... There she is. Tina!

Would you please tell the incredible Hulk
to let me in?

- Thanks. I got it.
- Yeah, thanks for nothing.

- Security's a little bit too tight here.
- Um, Alice,

- actually, you are banned from the set. I'm sorry.
- What?!

- What did I do?
- You went on national television

and you outed the lead of our movie!

Hold the phone, Tina!
I did not out her!

I did not say her name!
I did not say her name.

- Alice...
- Okay, I just had to, like...

They won't gonna give me the job.
I had to ??? a little.

Her managers are threatening
to pull her from the picture,

- right now. As we speak.
- That's ridiculous.

They're being dramatic.
She's a lezzie, it's a lezzie film!

- What's the big deal?!
- It's because this is a lesbian movie.

What the fuck does that mean?

We want this movie to reach
a large mainstream audience, alright?

And if everyone thinks
the lead of our movie is gay,

then that makes it
a small little niche film.

What the fuck is up
with everybody these days?

Am I like some sort of idiot that
I'm out? I mean,

is it a joke on me?
'Cause I don't get it.

It's okay. Forget it.

- This is crazy.
- Alice?

Look, you can't blog about this, okay?

'Cause this is really gonna hurt the movie.

You're gonna insult me now?
I am your friend, Tina.

- You know, I wouldn't do that to you.
- Look, I'm sorry.

- Let's have a drink later.
- Oh yeah, that sounds fine.

If I didn't have to drive
the fucking Long Beach

to meet with the lawyer
who's trying to ruin Tasha's carreer.

You know, the hypocrisy
is just like...

Oh, it's a little too much for me
these days.

Oh, I have an idea. Why don't you
and Colonel Davis meet

and you guys can talk about
how to keep gays out of the movies

and out of the military!
Ooooh, fun for you.

- Colonel...
- Jesus Christ!

Fuck!

I heard you were having
a wonderful time at your mother's party.

I didn't see you there.

Yeah, I didn't think you would.
I...

I noticed that you were too busy

checking out those 50-year-olds
in their black bras.

Diving into your mother's swimming pool.

Yeah. Don't remind me of
my mother's total degradation, please.

Can you smile at least?

No?

Hey, guys, Tina got us some

chairs on set which I guess
is some honorable and

priviledge thing.
So, we can watch the next scene.

Take it easy, Molly.

- Hey, just don't smile, okay?
- Sorry.

You could have used
a better line on Molly.

Yeah, I'm trying.

- "There She Goes"
by Vixen -

Let's go out tonight.

- No, I can't.
- Why not?

Because we have to work.

I know you're the big bad boss.

- Cut it off!
- No!

- Why?
- Because...

I'm old.

- I have responsabilities.
- I know.

You're such a drag.

??? right there.

You want any kids ever?

I don't know.

You should.

Why?

Because I want lots of kids.

And I wanna have your kids.

- No, you don't.
- Yes, I do.

We're gonna have all a big family
and we could

go somewhere like Ireland.

Get away from here.

Oh wow!
No one ever said that to me before.

Oh really? Yeah, right, you're full of it.

Oh, we can go to Japan.
You would love Japan. It's so cool.

We got to get the fuck out of L.A.
It's a terrible place.

I know. Don't cry.

Who has a 20 on Jenny?

Oh my God!

It's like when you're fucked
and then your mom calls.

Go

away!

Do you think that we have to stop
fucking during lunch?

- No.
- Do you think they may notice?

- I don't care if they notice.
- Why?

Because...

What?

What?

What...?

I love you.

I'm gonna give you a hanky!

- I'm gonna give you a hanky right now!
- No, you don't.

Yes, I am!

Yeah, it's Beech.

Oh, Captain Beech, it's Davis.

Listen, I have a huge case load
in front of me here

and I'm trying to be as efficient
as possible.

I wanna talk to you
about the Williams case.

Well, I'm not sure
what there is to talk about.

I'm intend to proove the alleguations
against my client are false.

Look, that's just no gonna happen.
You've seen her report.

You know what you're up against?

Listen, I want you to take my advice

and settle. Get her out
before it gets ugly.

Honorable discharge, all full benefits.

She's not gonna accept this.

Just take it to her.

It's your duty as her lawyer
and if you're a good one,

you'll advise her to accept.

Would you hold the line, please?

- It's Colonel Davis, and she...
- Will you tell her to fuck off, please?

Colonel, my client respectfully
declines your offer.

Look at this place!
I mean, check it out!

I should open up a business in here
since them

SheBar bitches shut down the Planet, man.

When can you reopen anyway?

In a week.
I still have one more inspection, then

I gotta drop eight Gs
for all that shit.

I'ma get those ho-bags back. I swear to God,
you mark my words.

Them she-bitches.

Hey, Niki.

They're ready for you on set
right now.

Oh, shit!

Hold on. What is that?

"Lesbian Turkish Oil Wrestling"?
Tonight?

Oh my God. We're going. Jenny!
Jenny, wait! Look it! Look at that!

Wasn't she at SheBar
the other night, was she?

Oh my God! Adele?

- She's cute.
- You know, I'm so sorry.

- Damn! What?
- I know. I don't know what happened.

I thought I got rid of them all,
but somebody must have...

- Okay, it's alright, it's alright.
- Sorry.

It's not your fault.

- Thanks for trying.
- Alright.

What happened?

- It's uh... it's Niki.
- What happened?

She's 20. She's like a puppy.
She keeps running off the set.

And it's driving all the other actors crazy
and freaking me insane.

Is Jenny, um... Is Jenny still...?

Oh yeah.

They fuck everyday in her trailer
at lunch.

The all crew knows it and
Adele stands outside as the guard.

I mean, it's insane!

Can you, can you hold on a second?

Actually, I have to,
I have to go.

Okay, call me or I'll call you.

They really respect Tina.

Of course they do.

I have to get back to the office
now. So if you wanna...

I'm fine. I'm gonna
hang on here.

Alright. Well, I'll get Jodi
to come down the set and...

I'm 24 years old.
I don't need a babysitter.

- Yeah, I...
- You what?

...will take her home.

You have fun.

So Sam's gonna be ready in 15.

So let's have Niki and Jenny for wiring.

Oh, I have to go see Niki.
I can tell her.

Great. Thanks, Adele.

Adele, this is so wrong.

Everyone's at SheBar. Absolutely everyone.
And I'm stuck here.

I know.

It must be really hard on you.

- All your friends are out having fun...
- I know, it totally sucks.

You know what?

I think it's so lame that
they work you this hard.

I mean, a lot of movie stars
they just,

I mean, they refuse
to work past 8 at night.

Really?

I mean, it depends on
how much power they have and

how much the production

respects the time, kinda of that.

- Seriously?
- Yeah.

'Cause, I mean, I sit around here
for hours while they're like

lighting or whatever. I mean,
I'm just sitting here on my ass.

I know. It sucks.

Hey, how much time before
you think they need me again?

'Cause SheBar's right down the street.

I could seriously just run over,
say hi to my friends,

and then, I'd come right back.

Well I think I heard them say that they don't
need you for another hour and a half.

Really?

Oh, yes!

Oh my God! Thank you so much, Adele!
I love you.

How was the rest of your day?

Why do people invite you
to visit film sets?

This is like watching paint dry.

Some people think it's fascinating.
But, in reality, it's boring. So...

So what do people do for fun
in this town,

besides sticking with lesbian
art aficinonadas

and pretending it's exciting?

Well, you can stick around a little bit longer
and then I can take you out.

Sure.

What?

My mother told me
all about your little game.

You're like the Fonz or something,
for lesbians.

- Bullshit! The Fonz?
- Uh, yeah.

- Shut up.
- "Happy Days"?

I'm not Fonz, I'm not "Happy Days",
but, uh...

Alright.

I give it to you, you're sassy.
No one's called me that before.

I'm not sassy. I'm bored.

But not bored enough to sleep with you.

Hot stuff...

Just... just keep breathing.

Sandra,

what's going on?
Why is this taking so long?

We're really here waiting for Niki
to step down.

Yeah, it doesn't matter.
Niki's not here yet.

Anybody got 20 on Niki?

- Jenny!
- What?

Oh my God! Um...

Niki's disappeared from set.
We can't find her anywhere.

I think I know where she went.

She went
"Lesbian Turkish Oil Wrestling"?

That little bitch!

- "Loaded" by Bran Van 3000 -

Let's get ready to wrestle!

Hey, are you on, hey,
sexy lesbians out there?

Some of you know me as Denbo,
but tonight,

I'm only known as Miami Vice.

I want to welcome you to the first ever

SheBar Turkish oil wrestling tournament
of the stars!

Over here, we have my lover, Cindi.

But tonight, you call here The Viper.

- Hello, ladies.
- A kiss, honey.

Is there anyone out there

brave enough, dare enough,
to take my Cindi on?

I'll go!

Come on up! Come on up!

What's your name, gorgeous?

Tonight, you all can call me Jesse Jailbait!

Well, Jesse Jailbait,

say hello to The Viper.

Go take your clothes off.

Do you recognize the twink?

Yeah, it's the star from
Shane's friend's lesbian movie, right?

Yeah, it sure is.

She's so down!

Yeah, hey, Miki, it's Dawn Denbo.

Yeah, kinda hot tip for you.

Jenny, I need you to go in there

because you're the only one
she's gonna listen to.

Tina, come on. Don't go in there.
You're a traitor if you do.

Niki Stevens is in there rolling around

in a bath of fat oil, okay?

She's costing my production compagny
hundreds of thousands of dollars

every minute she's in there.
Plus, she's under fucking age.

What... the fucking paparazzi?

I am so screwed!

I am so fucked. Excuse me.

Yeah, Los Angeles police department.

Yeah, I wanna report a night club
serving alcohol to minors.

- I like it.
- It's...

I believe the winner is...

- That is fucked up.
- ...Jesse Jailbait!

Thank you very much.

It's not fucked up. That's amazing.

Who's next for J.J.?

You know how much money
you're costing me? Come here!

You wanna come back to set because

we're just shooting right now, so
you might wanna finish up the scene.

No, no, no, come on. Get in here.
It's so much fun. Yeah.

- Come on.
- No, thanks though.

You know what? I think

you're gonna have to come in here
and fight me.

- No.
- Oh, wait a minute,

I think I heard a challenge.

- That's right, you did.
- Go in here.

- What?
- Get her!

- I don't...
- Get her out!

Come on, come on, fight me.

Alright, let's get her in.

- You asked for it.
- Come on beautiful. Step in the ring!

Take it off!

Keep going!

Oh yeah!

That's what I told you about!

Unbelievable!

- "Smack My Bitch Up"
by The Prodigy -

Come on!

Fucking headlock her!

I didn't realize you liked this.

This is awesome!

Oh, you don't think
that's a little bit degrading?

You don't see my mother in there,
do you?

- Keep it going!
- Get her down!

- Come on!
- Hey, Molly, you wanna a drink?

- Yes.
- What?

- Tequila.
- Okay.

Yeah!

Thank you for coming
all the way out here, Alice.

Although I must say

I was expecting you a bit earlier.

Well, I came as soon as I could.

I do have a life.

Oh yes,

a life that you live pretty loudly.

That's me. Out and proud.

So, what did you want
to talk to me about?

Well, I am the recorder in
the Captain Tasha Williams' hearing

and I have a few questions
to ask you.

Well, Tasha and I are just friends,

acquaintances really. I don't,
I don't know her that well.

We know all about your relationship
with Tasha.

We have witnesses that will testify
that they've ssen you together.

- Just because they've seen us together...
- We are calling you to testify

- at the hearing.
- There's no way in hell

I'm testifying in that hearing.
You can't make me.

You've already been subpoenated
and if you don't testify truthfully,

I'll turn you into the US marshalls

and then you're gonna have
a real big problem on your hands.

God bless America!

It's a shame, isn't it?

It's a shame Tasha had to meet someone

who flies her dirty laundry
like a freedom flag

for the whole world to gawk at.

You know, as far as I can tell,

Tasha never had a problem
living within the military codes

until she met you.

Hi, they told me
I had to come here.

- I hope you don't think... I would never...
- I know, I know.

It was good to see you.

???

I think it's getting a little hot here,
don't you?

Oh, let's see. Who's next?

Wow! There are some hot women
here tonight.

Oh, here's one.

Hey, how are you doing?
What's your name?

- Yeah, I don't think...
- Come on, you stay out of the crowd.

Oooh! This is Molly, guys!

Say hi to the crowd.
Don't be, don't be shy. Come on.

Fucking...

Alright, this is the
Los Angeles police department.

Everybody out of the club.

Everybody out of the club!

Come on!

I'm so glad you're a fan.
Thank you for not arresting her.

We really appreciate that.
And if you could keep it

out of the press, that would be

really great, I think.

Girl, not my party, but good job.

- Did you have fun?
- I did.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

I feel like shit. I'm gonna go and

clean up. Do you wanna come over
and borrow something to wear?

I'm totally straight.

But you can keep dreaming.

Come here for a second.

Don't flatter yourself.

Maybe, uh...

Maybe we could somewhere else,
just, you and me.

You just had a 10,000 dollars
???

- Cindi!
- What? I'm just asking!

Oh, yeah, Porter. You're fucked.
Alright?

Fuck you and your rat-infested shithole.
Okay?

Yeah, girl. I just named the rats after you.

- Oh, really, you like those rats, huh?
- Oh, yeah, girl, I love 'em.

- It's fucking on!
- Yeah, it is on, ain't it?

You 'bout to go live with the rats.

All your little friends. Buh-bye!

- "Bondallica" by Bonde Do Role -

I was looking for you.

Come here.

Thanks for taking me out tonight.

I love you.

I love you too.

Cut!

Print!