The L Word (2004–2009): Season 5, Episode 5 - Lookin' at You, Kid - full transcript

Okay, everyone.

Quick round-Table introduction,

Then we'll get on with it.

Hi. My name's cammie,

And i'll be playing shaun.

What's up, everybody?

My name is susan,

And i will be playing alysse.

Hi. I'm lauren.

I just took the most hellish
flight to get here,

So i'm very happy
to see you all.



I'm playing the role of helen.

Hello.
I'm isabella.

You can call me bella,

And i'm playing
the role of bev.

All right!

Hi. I'm gretchen,

And i'll be playing nina.

Can i just say how
excited i am to be here?

Yeah!

I think we're going to do
some very important work.

Apologies.

I was signing papers
in my new loft.

I'm begonia,
playing the predator.

- Hello.
- Hey.



And i'm cheryl
and i'm playing cat.

You all just watch out.

Hi. I'm marci.

Donna, the soccer player.

Hey, all.

Happy to be representing
the dudes.

I'm greg.

I'll be playing jim,
jesse's fiance.

Don't think
i'm a bitch

Because i'm wearing
my sunglasses inside.

I, um, just got
my pupils dilated,

Which is weird,

But, anyway, i just--
I'm not being rude.

I just have to wear them.

Oh, and i'm niki,
playing jesse.

Peace.

I'm tina.
I'm the producer.

I'm also the executive
vice president

Of creative affairs
for shaolin pictures.

Welcome.

Hi, everyone.

My name is jennifer schecter

And i am the writer

and i'm also the director
of lez girls,

And i just want to say
how thrilled i am--

I really am--

To have all of you guys here.

This is the culmination
of so many things for me,

So i want to welcome you guys

to the first table read-Through
of lez girls.

Whoo!

Yay! Whoo!

capture:??????
sync:mzinfo@frm

The l word 505

Hey.

Hey

Hi.

I, uh...

I was just having
a quick drink.

I had a brutal day at work.

You've been avoiding me.

No, i haven't.

Okay, yeah, maybe i have.

I'm sorry.

I just think
we should talk about it.

That's all.

Okay.

Yeah, you're right,
let's talk.

Do you want
to have a drink?

Oh, i'm sorry,
i can't right now.

I'm supposed to meet jodi,
but i--

Oh.

What about
tomorrow afternoon?

I can't tomorrow.
I have meetings all day--

Right.

And jenny is having
this party tomorrow night

For all the actors.

I've got to go to that.

I don't want
to make it difficult.

I'm really--
I'm not trying to.

I--

I just wanted to say i'm sorry.

- No, no, no.
- I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry.

You and jodi are together.

Okay?

I don't want to
get into this whole

Fucked-Up push-Me,
pull-Me thing with you.

Let's not get
all freaked out

And weird and manipulative
about it--

Am i being manipulative?
Is that--

No.

Let's just talk
when we talk.

- Okay?
- Okay.

Have a good night.

Yeah, you too.

It's going to be so
insane at jenny's party

with the whole cast
of lez girls there.

Really?

Well, it's like that game,

"Who would play you in a movie?"

Except it's real life.

Yeah.

I always thought parker
posey should play me,

But, you know.

Well, beech and i have a strategy
session tomorrow night.

I won't be home until late.

Well, you can come after.

??? Okay.

the topic tonight--
homosexuality--

Hey, tash, that basketball guy
from the other night's on t.V.

He's always on t.V.

...publicly last year,

the reaction from the
sports community was mixed.

today, another nba player,
daryl brewer,

has voiced his disapproval

of amaechi's
homosexual lifestyle.

john amaechi recently
announced he's gay,

becoming the first
in the nba to come out.

what do you think
of his decision

to come out publicly
as a gay man?

first of all,

i wouldn't want him
on my team. You know?

i don't think that's right.

i don't want any faggots
in the locker room looking at me

or brushing up against me
on the court.

i don't like gay people,
so i let it be known.

Oh, my god,
you little sneaky fag.

Oh, my god, tasha,
come here.

You're not going to
believe this.

Hold on. This is crazy.

Okay, ready?
Hold on.

...as a gay man?

first of all,

i wouldn't want him
on my team. You know?

i don't think that's right.

i don't want any faggots in
the locker room looking at me

or brushing up against me
on the court.

i don't like gay people,
so i let it be known.

That little
piece-Of-Shit poseur.

It's one thing to keep
your business to yourself,

But it's another thing
to go spread lies and hatred.

I know! He was, like,
three feet away from me,

Asking me about my shoes.

Whatever.
He'll get his someday.

It's because of
people like that

That you have to fight so hard
to keep your job.

I wish i could smack
the shit out of that guy

And out his hypocritical ass,

But it ain't
going to happen.

so much for that.

you heard it here
from news live.

we'll continue
to bring you more

as this story unfolds.
Stay with us.

daryl brewer's previous
comments have angered--

Hi.

How are you?

Um, good, good.
How are you?

Doing well.

Can't complain.

This is looking good.
It's new.

Oh, yeah.

We've expanded.

Oh, and i see you did
the drive-Thru window.

I remember kit was talking
about doing that.

Yeah, yeah,
she told dawn.

Apparently, l.A. Lesbians like
to do everything in their car.

That, and they love
their caffeine.

Mm.

Planet coffee?

Come on,
that's so tired.

You should try our new blend.

It's so much more flavorful.

Oh, yeah?

Mm-Hmm.

Plus, we have so many
other delicacies to offer.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Like what?

Tarts,

Pie,

Muffins...

Mm-Hmm.

Lady fingers.

I could go on.

Well, then, maybe you
should think about

Giving out a sampler
so everyone gets a taste.

Yeah.

Anyway, why don't you--

Why don't you come over
to our place this afternoon

And we'll cook you up
something special?

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Sure.

Okay.

I'll be there.

I'll see you later.

Yes, you will.

Have a good day.

Yeah, you too.

Yeah!

Mm-Hmm.

And who is the other girl?

Oh, well she was the one
i met in cabo.

She was so beautiful
and she went to ucsb,

So, you know, we did
the whole commute thing

From l.A. To santa barbara
for a while,

Then it kind of
turned into a drag,

So we ended it,

And that's when i met
the other girl, jimmy.

Mm. Jimmy.

That's so ugly.

Jimmy was a "boi."

You know, not b-O-Y boy,
but b-O-I boy,

And she was super adorable

And i actually had
so much fun with her

Except for
when she was drunk,

Because then she was
a total a-Hole, right?

Right.

So, anyway,
do you have a girlfriend?

No.

Why not?

Because i have to be
a good girl

And be serious about my work.

What about this one?

No.

Adele, do you like it?

I think you look beautiful.

Don't listen to her.

She wears "mom" jeans
with camel toe.

It's true, adele.

Listen, you just need to be
more mid-Western

And middle of the road.

She really didn't become fashion
forward until she started

This svengali-Like
relationship with karina.

What's a svengali?

A svengali is a character
in a george du maurier novel

called trilby,

And he's a hypnotist and
he meets a young woman

And turned her
into a performer

And his muse,

And he became controlling

And she found that she couldn't
perform without him.

Totally sounds
like jimmy--

A total a-Hole.

Wow.

That looks pretty.

Jesus!
Fuck, adele.

Oh, sorry, sorry.

I didn't mean
to scare you.

You scared the shit
out of me, woman.

Sorry.

Jenny just gave me
the keys to the house

So i could drop
this stuff off.

Oh, god, i didn't know
you were baking.

I was going to get some
cakes from sweet lady jane.

No, no, no, no.

You don't have to,
you don't have to.

I'm making, um,

Party brownies,

So don't worry about it.

Party brownies?

Huh?

What are party brownies?

Party brownies.

Oh, party brownies!

Hi, max.

You know,
when i was a kid,

Our neighbors had this huge
pot farm in their backyard,

And, um, my dad was a fireman

So he was always trying
to call the cops on them,

But, and--

I don't know, i think that the sheriff
must've been a pothead because--

I thought you said your dad
was a travelling salesman?

Yeah, he was.
He just, um--

He just volunteered with the
fire department on the weekends.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Anybody need anything
from the grocery store?

I'm going to go
get the food.

- No, i'm fine, thanks.
- Yeah?

Knock-Knock!

Hey, come here.

Okay.

Yes, i will. Hi.

- Hi.
- How are you?

- Good.
- Good.

Nice to see you.

How's it going?

- Good. How are you?
- Good.

How's jenny's indentured
servant working out there?

I think she's kind of cute.

- I know! In a nerdy kind of way.
- Yes--

- Yeah, i think so too.
- Really hot.

I think there's something
kind of off about her maybe.

Really? Like what?

Like she's not exactly
who she pretends to be.

You're one to talk
there, max.

Ooh!

You know what?
Fuck off.

So, what'd you want me
to work on?

Oh, oh, oh!

- You just fucked it.
- Mm-Mm.

Mm. Major project.

Okay, and you don't
have any program

To make my boobs
look smaller?

No.

Okay, go.
One last time.

Okay, here it is.

* alice in lesboland! *

hi. This is alice pieszecki,

and this is a very,
very special edition

of alice in lesboland.

i've got a little beef
that i need to talk about.

um, i was invited to a party
over the weekend.

i was very excited,
i got all dressed up,

and i met

a fabulous,
super-Nice,

flaming homosexual man

named daryl brewer.

ring a bell?

i guess he's a--

he's a big sports somebody.

i don't know,
plays a little b-Ball.

don't ask me.

so even though
i wasn't supposed to,

i took this-- This, uh,
little video of him.

you can roll that.

okay, so you can
imagine, you know--

It gets me every time.

i'm waking up
in the morning

and i see this,
daryl on t.V.,

saying this
on the national news.

roll it.

i don't want any faggots
in the locker room looking at me

or brushing up against
me on the court.

i don't like gay people,
so i let it be known.

All right, i'm letting it
be known, mr. Brewer,

That you're a homo.

Yes.
and a hypocrite.

Yes, you are.

I love that part.

and i'm alice pieszecki,

and this is
alice in lesboland,

and i'm out.

So you sure
you want to do this?

Oh, my god, put it up.

Let's go.

Launch it. What do you do?

Okay. Just upload.

All right.

There it goes.

Yoo!

hello?

Hey.

hey.

come on up.

Hey.

Hello.

You like what you see?

Nice shoes.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I'm good.
How are you?

- I'm good.
- Yeah?

Where's dawn?

I hope you don't mind,

But i kind of want you
all to myself.

But i thought you did
everything together, right?

Isn't that what you said?

Don't worry about it.

Mm.

She'll be fine, really.

Look, we have
a very open relationship.

Yeah, but if i recall,

I think dawn was pretty clear
on the rules, right?

Oh...

So, do me a favor.

Call her,
get her over here,

Then we can all
bring sexy back together.

She's at work.

Cindi, i don't want drama,

So, please,

In the spirit of
full-Disclosure, would you--

What?

Get her on the phone.

What's the deal?

I mean, you like her better
than me, is that it?

No, no.
No, no, no, no, no.

Then what?

You made the rules.
I didn't.

Oh, that's so nice of you.

I can't.

All right, do you
want to fuck me or not?

Hmm?

What?

Whoa.

Hey, kit.

Did you know
that those shebar girls

Are serving breakfast
and coffee down the street?

I thought they said they were
just going to do nightlife.

Well, apparently nightlife
is now in the day,

And it involves
bagels and lattes.

And it had
a drive-Thru window.

What? Are you kidding me?

- No.
- Girl, that was my idea.

I told that dawn denbo

That i was thinking about
having one of them things put in.

Really?

Yeah.

Hey, max. What's up?

Really?

Okay, thanks.

Hey, kit, can i use your tv?

Can we put it on?

Um, yeah. Yeah.

Um, channel 11.

Yeah.

and here he is,

daryl brewer in front
of his michigan home.

i can only apologize
to my family and my friends

and teammates

and ask for the
lord's forgiveness.

i'm going to take this time

to be with my loved ones

and to seek the help
that i need.

thank you for your time.

- Oh, my god!
- but it wasn't until
an online journalist,

alice pieszecki--

- They know my name!
- posted footage of brewer
on her gay website, ourchart--

Oh, my god!
Girl, look at you.

...engaged in intimate acts
with another man,

that this story has received
national attention.

the clip was quickly
uploaded onto youtube,

where it had
an estimated 500,000 hits

within the first two hours
after it was posted.

no comment from brewer

on the identity
of the man he was kissing.

I can't believe that
daryl brewer is gay!

Oh!

Oh, my god, i have, like,
500 new messages.

What?

??? Move the crane shot
to the beginning of the day.

Oh, yeah,
and you know what?

Jenny still hasn't met with
the production designer.

We really need that
to happen, okay?

And, you know, could you
be there to take notes?

Tina?
Tina, tina, tina.

Tina, guess who had
the most amazing idea.

Guess who should be
in the movie?

Sounder ii.

He's so cute,
he's perfect. Totally.

- Aren't you? You're perfect.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, jenny,

Dogs can be really difficult
for a production.

They can make you go
a lot longer,

It costs a lot more.

They have these
specially trained,

Camera-Ready dogs anyway
when they do use the dogs,

And i don't know if
sounder's ready for that.

Well, he thinks
he's ready for it,

So i'm going to
get sally

To get him his temporary
working papers.

Yeah, sally
will love it.

Oh, totally!
It's such a good idea.

Sally has,
like, 10 dogs.

Did you meet
sally's maltese?

Well, at least the two of
them are getting along.

How'd that happen?

We have adele

To thank for that.

- Really?
- Mm-Hmm.

How did you do it?
Jenny hated her.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I didn't really--
I didn't really do anything.

I just-- I knew
that jenny knew

How much niki wanted the role,

And that it came out of
personal conviction,

Because she relates so--

You saved the picture, kid.

Adele, can i talk
to you for a second?

Um,

First of all,
i just, uh,

I want to tell you how much
i appreciate what you did,

Finessing the situation
with jenny and niki.

It took a lot of initiative,

And, god,
i just think

You're going to be a great
asset to production.

I do. Thank you.

Thank you.
Thank you so much.

I just, um,

I just want to contribute
in any way that i can.

Well, that's great,

Because, um, you know,

Jenny's a first-Time director,

And sometimes,
first-Time directors,

They can get distracted

Or caught up in
the wrong things,

And it would be great

If you could just keep me
apprised of anything

That you might think might be
an issue for production.

Do you-- Do you mean
you want me to spy?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I wouldn't want you to
betray any confidences.

Just give me
a heads-Up

If you see any
potential problems.

That's all.
For jenny's benefit.

- Okay. Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Absolutely.
- Just for jenny.

Yeah. I'm here to help, so,

That's great.

Great. I'm counting on you.

Thanks.

tasha williams.
Leave a message.

Hey, tash, it's me. Hi.

I really-- I've been trying
to reach you all day,

And i really, really, really
need to talk to you, because

i am being asked
to go on crossfireball,

Or i don't know. Whatever.

And i posted that video
of that guy, brewer,

And, um, yeah,
it went viral,

And it's crazy, and

All these news organizations
want to talk to me,

So i need to talk to you,

Because i need to know

What you want me to say.

Okay, it's important to me,
so please call me back.

We're going to get
those fuckers.

Whoo! Okay, i love you.

Call me. Bye.

Yes, i am professional.

Yes, okay.

hi, tina?

Hi.

hi, it's me.

Um...

I just wanted to double-Check

That you'd be able to take angie
the weekend of the fourth.

I think i might have to--

I might have to go out of town.

Um...

Well, i don't have my book
in front of me,

But i'm sure it will be fine.

Okay.

Great.

Is that it?

yeah.

No.

Well... i don't know.

It's not a big deal.
It's not a big deal.

I just...

I just don't know what to do,

But i know you're busy.

No, no, no, no. What?

never mind.
It's okay.

What is it?

Well, there's this...

Major controversy brewing here,

Because jodi

let one of her
students perform

this particularly
provocative art piece

and now the board
of trustees

is completely
up in arms,

and jodi wants
to talk to them,

But i think
it's a terrible idea,

Because she's bound to
tell them all

What a bunch of
assholes they are,

but if she starts
talking to them,

it's just going to exacerbate
the whole situation,

And, really,
they're gunning for her.

let her speak
for herself.

Jodi's a very capable person.

And very hot-Tempered.

yeah. Look.

i know you want to
fix everything, okay?

but you just
have to let her

Fail or succeed

All on her own, okay?

Otherwise, it's just

A disaster
for both of you.

So you're saying that
i should stay out of it?

yeah.

Support her, advise her,

But, otherwise, let her
deal with it herself.

Okay.

Okay, i'm sorry
to talk your ear off.

i'm...

i just need somebody
to talk to.

No, that's fine.

Look, i've got to go.

I have a meeting.

Right. Right.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Okay. Bye.

Bye.

I can't wait for you to meet
the actress playing shaun.

Is she a 10?

Okay, here's all
the extension cords i have.

Good. Adele's just out back
or out in the front,

Putting up the lights.

Hey, jenny--

How's everything working out
with her, anyway?

Great.

She's so good.

I mean, i just don't--

Imagine what life would have
been like without her.

Because i have to say,
you know,

Something wasn't quite
sitting right with me about her,

So i, um, did a little
background check on her.

Okay. So?

Remember how
she said her mom

Was hospitalized
from '86 to '92?

- Mm-Hmm.
- And that her dad
was a travelling salesman?

Right.

Well, okay, she said he was out
on the road the whole time

She was in
the hospital, right?

Yeah?

Then she said he hurt his
back in a factory accident.

I mean, i don't get it.

Max,

I don't need to know
this shit

Before festivities begin.

I got to say,
i like adele.

I just think
she's a sweetheart.

Yeah, i know.

It's just i just checked out
her story a little bit,

And, um, the hospital she said
her mom was in from '86 to '92--

The birdwell sanitarium--

It closed in '87.

Well, i'm going to
assume that's because

It was a troubling time
in her life

And her memory's
not that clear on it.

- Yeah, max.
- Maybe.

- Adele!
- Maybe.

- Adele, come here.
- Jenny, don't tell her.

- Shut up!
- Don't. Come on!

- Adele!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah?

What is it?

Max thinks that there's something
really suspicious about you,

Because he said
that the sanitarium

That you said
your mother was in

While she was sick
was actually closed.

Adele, it's not like i was
checking up on you or anything.

I was researching
something for alice,

And i ran across this thing--

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I wanted to clear the air,
you know?

Yeah, that's totally fine.

I mean, i get why
it would be confusing.

Um...

My mom was--
She was at birdwell,

But she--

When she tried to--

Sorry.

Oh...

She...

We had to take her to
a high-Security institution,

Down in winter park.

So, i don't know, maybe birdwell
closed down after that.

I don't know.

Okay.

I'm going to go finish.

Just go finish
hanging the lights.

Now that was some
good thinking.

Okay, everybody settle.

We're back in five, four,

Three, two...

ms. Pieszecki, why
did you feel compelled

to post the footage
you shot of daryl brewer

on the internet?

Oh, well, originally, i didn't ...

I didn't videotape him

With the intention
of outting him,

it was more of a personal--
Now, it's hard to believe

that you weren't seeking
notoriety by filming him

and then posting the
footage on your website.

No, i-- No.

I just thought
it was very mean,

What he said about gay people--

that's freedom of speech.

that's his prerogative,
to say whatever he wants to,

but it's a violation
of his privacy

if you're going to
videotape him

when he doesn't think
he's being watched,

and then have it put up
on the world wide web!

No, i-- I didn't think
it would get so big.

you never thought
it would get so big?

you're an internet journalist,

and you didn't realize
the power of the net?

come on! I mean, these things
go viral in an instant.

it destroys careers!

imus, isaiah washington,
you know, the list goes on!

Yeah, but it wasn't like that--

do you regret what you
did, ms. Pieszecki?

do you care that you
might have destroyed

this man's family?
I don't buy that--

Wait a minute! Why should i
feel bad for hurting this guy?

I mean, when he's hurting me
and millions of other gay people

By saying such hateful comments?

yeah, but the bottom line is--

he started this

by saying awful things
in the first place!

so, you're going to take it
upon yourself

to go after--???
No, i'm talking!

I'm not finished! Listen.

Gay people are bashed

And-- And harassed

And killed every day,

And then you've got this guy,
who's gay himself,

And he's saying this garbage?

It's disgusting!

I totally respect

Someone's choice
to stay in the closet, i do.

If that's what they
want to do, i get it,

But i don't think it's okay

To kiss your boyfriend one day

And then go out and
trash gay people the next--

Especially if
you're a public figure

And you have people
looking up to you!

So, no, i don't feel bad.

I do not feel bad
about what i did.

well, she's got
a good point, pat.

Uh, i'd like to actually go back
to what we spoke about earlier,

if we could.

I have an idea.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Why don't we
just skip the party?

You just don't want to give
jenny the satisfaction.

No, that's not it.

I'm letting that go.

Jenny can do whatever she
wants with her silly movie.

I'm completely detached
from the notion

That it has anything
to do with my life.

It is fiction.

Fiction.

I would rather
stay here with you.

I've been missing you...

With all this nonsense at work.

I think we need to reconnect.

Hey.

Yeah?

I want to dance.

You want to dance?

Yeah.

Oh, christ.

Let's go to the party
for a little while,

Then we'll come home
and connect.

Okay? Okay?

I want to change my clothes.

- How are you?
- Hi.

- Good.
- Hi!

This is for you.

- Oh. So sweet.
- To get the party started.

Thank you. Come to the back.

I want to show you
something.

Oh, really? Yeah.

Thank you.

So you're playing shaun?

Yeah.

Good.
Congratulations.

Thanks.

You know,
i'm... not gay.

Okay.

I have a boyfriend.

Good for you.

I just play gay.

Right.

"Gay for pay."

That's cute.

Hi! Bette!

Hi, jenny.

Hi!

Hello, jodi!
Mwah!

- Congratulations.
- Thank you very much.

You guys want
something to drink?

Jodi, do you want a drink?

Sure.

Adele! Make them
something great.

Thank you.

Bye!

Cheers.

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god! Hi!

How are you?

It's so nice to see you!

You have to meet "alysse."

- Look!
- Is this--?

- Yes!
- Oh! Oh...

Wow! Hi. I'm susan.

Oh. Alice.

Playing alysse,
playing alice.

Wow. Wow!

- You? Really?
- Yeah!

God. Oh! Alice.

How you doing?

- Good.
- I don't see it.

- I know,
- I can change hair?

No, no, no, no--
It's just...

I have some ideas.

I was actually going to get in
touch with you through jenny.

I don't know if...

If you're open
to it, or...

- Totally open.
- Okay.

I'm, like, wide open--

Yeah. Yeah. Good.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Hi.

Thanks for talking
to me earlier today.

It's fine.

It was fine.

I mean, i know it's awkward,

And i just felt
really, really stupid.

- No--
- Tina!

- Hi.
- Hi! Isabella.

It's good to see you.

Yeah, thanks for coming.

Isabella perkins,
this is bette porter.

Hi.

It's really nice
to meet you.

I'm such a fan
of your work.

Oh, my god. Bette!

I should have recognized you
from your photos.

I've been
researching you online.

It's so wonderful
to meet you!

You've been
researching me?

Mm, isabella
is playing bev

in lez girls.

Wow. Uh, god.

I mean, i knew that
you were in the movie,

I-I just didn't realize that
you were going to be playing

Jenny's warped
interpretation of me.

It must be difficult for you--

To have your life
and relationships examined.

No, it's fine.

It's fiction, right?

- I mean, it's fiction.
- It's fiction.

- Fiction.
- It's so important

For actors to get to the truth.

I was hoping you could help me
with my "whys"?

- Your "whys"?
- Mm-Hmm.

I can see you are
an incredibly passionate

And accomplished woman.

You know, you've worked hard
to be get you are.

You know, you're bold
and uncompromising

In your vision

And your approach to life,

You've got a great marriage...

To a kind and generous
partner--

You know what, bella?

I don't know
if the party

Is the place
to really--

But something
is wrong.

Why?

I mean, what is it in bev

That seeks to sabotage
everything she's built?

Why does she cheat
with the plumber?

Does she seriously think
that jenny's idiotic drivel

Is reflective of me
and my life, at all?

I can't answer your fucking
"whys." You know why?

Because it's not me.
It's not me.

And apart from anything else--

I am frankly...

Fucking flabbergasted--

I am flabbergasted that she
cast such a white actress--

She's white. Okay?

Was mary-Fucking-Poppins
not available?

I mean, really, what the fuck
can she possibly know

About my life?

What can she know?

Is she black?

Thank you.

Bette, can i just--

I want to go.

Excuse me.

I want to get out of here.

What's the matter with you?

You're flirting with her.

I'm having a good time.

With that helena clone?

I'm not flirting with her.
I'm just talking with her.

She's nice and interesting.

She's all over you.

You're insane.

She's the straightest person
i've ever met.

I was trying to explain to her
how lesbian sex works.

Plus, she has a boyfriend.
Chill out.

Well, i'm leaving.

Fine.

I'll see you later.

Fine!

Bette.
I'm so sorry.

I had no idea that isabella
would blindside us like that.

You know what?
The thing is...

She's not wrong.

I still don't have any answers
to any of her "whys."

I don't.

What happened the other night,

It was a mistake.

- Okay?
- It shouldn't have happened.

I know, i know.

??? We just got caught up
in a moment.

Yes. It's just not
going to happen again.

No. No.

Of course not.

Are you...

Are you sorry that it did?

Yes. I am.

Are you in love with jodi?

Yes. I am.

I was trying to get tasha
on the phone all day

To tell her about it,

Couldn't get her,
on the cell phone,

Thinking--
"Get on the phone."

Hey, do you want one?

No, i'm good, thanks.

Hey, listen, they're not gay.
I promise.

Oh, my god-- What if
they were gay?

What if our brownies
were gay?

They're all
fucking each other.

You're hot!

I'm fine!

Shane!

Shane!

Shane!

Hey, shane!

Yeah. Hey.
How are you doing?

- Yeah.
- Cindi.

Oh? Cindi, no.

I'm fucking dawn denbo,

And this is
my lover, cindi.

Yeah. I'm talking to you.

I'm telling you, you've gone
and messed the wrong bi--

Don't look at her!

You've messed with
the wrong bitch, bitch.

You fucking
come into my house

And fuck my beautiful
girlfriend

Without even the courtesy
of inviting me--

Cindi, you said it was okay!

- Stop.
- But--

Seriously,
i'm this close.

You said that it was fine.
You said it was--

What the fuck!

- Wait, you expect me to believe
- Tell them???

That my baby-- No,
no, no, no, no.

What do you think
i am? An idiot?

Does it look like
i was born yesterday?

Oh, motherfucker. Okay.

That's funny???-- That is.

You know what
i'm going to do?

Babe, just for you?

I am going to
fucking ruin you.

Okay? And every one of your
smug-Ass motherfucking friends.

And you-- I don't
even know you,

But you're going down,
too. How about that?

Me???

Yes, you are. Yeah.

And the stupid-Ass
fucking planet?

It's done.

All right?
It's all done.

Yeah. Oh, that's good,
go ahead and be smart-Ass.

And let me tell you
one more thing.

Keep those skinny fucking hands
of yours to yourself, all right?

It's on, all right?

It's fucking on.

Cindi!

I'm so sorry.

Cindi!

I didn't mean
to get you in crap.

Turn the music back up!

Who was that?

She-- Those are the two girls
that own shebar.

Oh!
Oh!

Wait, wait.
Okay, be serious.

Want to do me?
I'll get to you.

I don't get that.
Like, i mean,

Okay, i know that
they meet on a couch

And they have, like, this, like,

Intense conversation
about books,

And i know that,
but...

What?

I mean, then they just go to the
bathroom and start getting it on?

Totally!

Come on!
It's so cheesy!

Oh, my god.
Fuck o-- No!

Yes, it is,
it's, like, cinemax--

- No
- Oh, sorry, cinema--

It's true!

Oh, my god, i just had
the most awesome idea. Okay,

You've got to go
over there. Go over there.

Right here?

Yeah, yeah, okay,

We're going to fucking
workshop the scene!

- Now?
- Yes, now! Okay, okay.

Just you put your hands
over your face.

Okay, you've got to
be serious. Okay.

- Okay.
- You are jesse.

Take your hands off your
face and transform.

Go for it. Go!

No, come on!
Be jesse. Be serious.

Okay, you have just met

The most alluring--

Oh, hey, come on!
Just be serious.

So, like, i'm gonna--
Yeah, be serious.

Okay, karina and--

Okay, so, like, you're sitting across
from this woman and she's, like,

The most alluring,

Intoxicating woman

Of your whole life.

She's, like, talking about,

Like, fucking
silver water,

And you're, like,
just going insane,

And your, like, heart
is, like, in your throat,

And then you remember.

You have this man,

Named jim,

Who likes to swim,

And you're just, like--

"What am i going to do?"

- Yeah, but you have to--
- Wait wait

Two emotions.

Okay. Who are you
going to be?

Okay, i'm going to be me.

Okay, let me try???

Okay, karina
and jesse?

Karina ???

I have to pee!

This--

Is when she comes into the bathroom,

And she's looking at you,

And then...

She takes you,

And she turns
you around

And she pushes you

Against the wall...

And then she kisses you.

See? Now you have to go.

Or... jesse stays.

Niki stays.

Whoa! No, no, no, no!

Who's in there?

Oh, fuck.

It has no lock.

Where's my--

There's no lock.

Take it off!

Take it off!

Fuck you!

I totally have these shoes.

You do?

I got them on sale.

They're my daisy dukes.

We're going
to fuck in a closet.

The irony
hasn't escaped me.

Pool party!

Shut up!

???

I used to fuck
in this pool.

Fuck it!

Who cares?

Used to be my pool.

What?

It used to be my pool.
Let's go swimming!

You guys,
i think i lost my buzz.

I'm going to go get
another pot brownie.

"It's on," girlfriend!

Whoo-Hoo!

Wahoo!

I'd like to make
a noise complaint.

Whoo!

My next-Door neighbor.

Oh, my god. Baby.
Where've you been?

I've been trying
to call you all day.

Why would you do that?

Do what?

Out that guy like that.

You turned his whole
fucking life upside-Down.

I did that for you!

What are you--
What are you talking about?

You said, "i hope that guy
gets what's coming to him,"

So i gave it to him.

Yeah, but it's not your job to put
his business out there like that.

Who are you to
judge that man's life?

You don't know
what he's going through,

Or what his circumstances are.

What is the difference
between you outing him

And the military
outing me?

Oh, my god, that's so different!

No, it's not different!

And then you do it
on national fucking television!

I tried to call you all day
to see if that was all right.

How can that be all right?

That's--
That's our problem.

You never think!

I am so fucking sick of you
talking to me like that.

No! Seriously, though.

Like, when is this
going to stop?

And now you're-- You're doing
tv interviews,

And you've got
newspapers calling,

And you're like the
big deal all of a sudden.

What?

Did you ever think that might not
be the most discreet thing to do

While i'm prepping
for my hearing?

You know that
they're watching me!

You're such
a fucking hypocrite!

You say you don't want

What you're going through
to change my life,

But then the second i do
something that i want to do,

You get mad at me--

You're not getting my point.

You know, we just see things
differently.

Why is my life
supposed to stop

Because you want to live
in a fucking closet?

I did not sign up
for that bullshit. You did.

I am allowed
to say what i want

And do what i want

And fucking out who i want

And love who i want

Because i live in
the goddamn u.S. Of fucking a!

And i'm the one out there fighting
for your right to be ignorant.

I can't even be
around you right now.

Oh, i can't be
around you!

Fuck you!

Honey.

Um...

I don't think
you should drive.

No, no, no, i'm just
gonna call a cab...

Oh.

I don't think
you should drive.

No, i don't
mind driving.

I'm not drunk.

- No, no, no.
You can sleep on the sofa.

- I'm calling a cab.
- No, no.

- Yes.
- No, i'm calling a cab.

Come. Come on.
Let's go, let's go.

No, you're crazy.
I'm gonna call a cab.

???

???

Ooh.

What?

No, i'm not gonna--
I'm not gonna stay here.

- I'm gonna go.
- You've got to drink
some water first.

Drink water.
Drink water.

Sit down. Sit down.

I can't stay here.

Did you know
i used to live here?

Okay.

Jesus, that party was like
the ninth circle of fucking hell.

So did that woman
ever let you go?

I had a great time.

Um, tina got really drunk.

I couldn't let her drive.

I'm going to get her a pillow.