The L.A. Complex (2012): Season 2, Episode 1 - Vacancy - full transcript

Look, if you guys have
any constructive criticism,

I'd love to hear it.

You should quit.

There's this girl I'm kind
of in love with right now,

But she wants to keep it casual.

The casual stuff, that's my bit.

Uh, no it's not!

We came up with
that bit together

When we were in bed!

I'm gonna burn your life down.

How come we're
not good together?



Who says that?

We do.

Look, I know I want youwith me.

I want to build a life, just us.

Hey, Kal.

What the hell are you doing?!
Kal?!

Faggot!

- Are you okay?
- Not really.

- What's wrong?
- I'm not good enough.

♪ Do this thing,
this type of thing ♪

♪ Put a little money
in this type of thing ♪

♪ I've got nothing
to worry about ♪

♪ Negative ♪

♪ Why always so negative? ♪



♪ If you have problems ♪

♪ Why don't you go solve them? ♪

♪ Trouble seems ♪

♪ Trouble seems to follow you ♪

♪ Iit's always 'round you ♪

♪ Like some thing
you subscribe to ♪

♪ Be prepared ♪

♪ There must be something
in you ♪

♪ Turning boys to men ♪

♪ And then back again ♪

♪ Do this thing,
this type of thing ♪

♪ Put a little money
in this type thing ♪

♪ I've got nothing
to worry about ♪

♪ I've got nothing
to worry about ♪

Have you lost your mind?!

He was defendin' himself!

Is that it?

The little queer
tried to kiss him!

What'd he expect
was gonna happen?

Pretty sure he didn't expect that!

Well, you provoke a
wild dog, you gonna get bit!

Mr. King's not a pit bull!

He's a public figure
with a criminal record

Who is currently out on parole
in the state of california!

It's not like the kid is dead!

If this kid talks to the cops,

He's going back to jail.

That's all there is to it!

So we find him first,

And we make sure he knows
what happens to people

When they talk.

Absolutely not!

Me and kal have been
friends our whole lives,

And been through
a hell of a lot worse,

So I think I know how to make
our little problem go away.

What are you going to do
to this kid

That you haven't already done?!

Don't answer that!

We need to get him to sign
a confidentiality agreement

And pay him off.

That's how we deal with this!

I'll find him.

I strongly recommend
you let me handle this.

Kal, trust me, I got this.
I'm telling you.

I'm telling you!

I'm gonna take care of it.

2x01
- Vacancy -

Beth, look!

That's not for us.

But I'm hungry though!

No. Get over it.

Help yourself.

There's like 30
different muffins here.

Look, that's banana bacon.

It's ridiculous.
You need to try it.

Yeah, what do they charge?

Five bucks for those muffins?

No thanks.

Yeah, no...
Oh, you're serious!

No, no, this is-this is free.

No one's keeping track, really.

Help yourself.

Simon, I-

You have my permission.

Oh, this is so good!

Watch your fingers.

Thanks.

No problem.

Have a good one.

Can you eat some fruit?

So that's it?

We're gonna miss you around here.

I'm gonna miss you guys too.

Who knows, I might be back.

I hope not!

For her sake.
For your sake, I mean!

I'm sorry;
that came out wrong.

You know what I mean.

I'm proud of you though.
You did it,

And you did it
on your own terms.

Yeah.

Aw, geez.

You okay?

I'm going to be.

You take care of yourself, okay?

Are you sure you're
gonna be okay without me?

No.

Bye, Nick.

Bye.

And, hey, don't do
anything I wouldn't do.

Hello?

Hey, Nick, I gotta talk to you.

Is this Nick Wagner?

- Yeah.
- This is Scott Cray.

I saw your set last night
for the Montreal festival

And budd gave me your number.

Okay.

Nick, it's important.
I just...

Listen, we're putting
together a writing room

For a new late-night talk show

And I was wondering,
do you have a packet?

Uh, like a...
Like a writer's packet?

It's for a writers room,
so that's what I'd bring,

But I don't want to clip
your wings.

I have a writer's packet.
Of course I do.

Nick, it's important.

Great! I've left a drive-on
for you at the Jefferson lot.

Come on by in a couple hours.

Seriously?!

No, no, Nick,
this whole call is a lie.

Yeah, I like to play
elaborate practical jokes

on people I've never met before.

You know, that thing
that no one does.

Couple of hours, I'll be there.

All right,
already regretting it.

Okay.

- Nick.
- Yes, what?!

You gotta pay more rent.

What? Why?

You got two people
living in your room.

No I don't.

Oh, you don't?
No.

Hey, what's up?

You know the rules, Nick;

more occupants, more rent.

I want $400 more per month.

Yeah, but we're not
living together.

I'm just crashing here
just for a little while.

Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh!

Your commitment issues
are not my concern, okay?

You're-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu!

You both live here,
you pay more rent,

get over it.

I can't afford
another $400 a month.

Eddie, I just
booked a movie part,

so I'm about to be hundreds
of dollars richer.

Could you at least give us
till the end of the week?

You got a week to make the rent

or else one of you has to leave.

Are we living together?

Guess so?

It's not too soon?

I actually need to have
this conversation later.

Right now I have to figure out
what a writer's packet is.

I need a writer's packet
and I don't know what it is.

A writer's packet.

Thanks for coming over.

Just... Let me get this out,
okay?

I'm pregnant,

and it's yours,

and I don't know
what to do about it.

Hi. That's weird.

Can I come in?

Sure.

- Everything all right?
- My house burnt down.

What?!
What happened?!

- Bad wiring.
- Are you okay?

Yeah, I never really liked
that place anyway.

No, no.
Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.
I just was wondering

if I could crash here
for a little bit?

Here?

Yeah, I don't really like
the idea of a hotel.

This is a hotel.

You're right.

It's probably a terrible idea.

Sorry.
Thanks for the drink.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

It's not that
I don't want you to, okay?

You just...
Caught me off guard.

You and me, huh?

Yeah. Be just like
a sleepover...

with fewer clothes.

Maybe just for a little while.

Oh, come on, I'm injured.

Oh my god.

Hello?

So, hi.

Hi, Ron.

I got you an audition today
for that "saying grace" show.

It shoots this week,
could be a good gig.

I can't this week, ron.

I'm doing that movie, remember?

Oh, did I...

I didn't call you about that?

About what?

Oh, Jacob Schwartzman's
schedule's been pushed,

So the movie's been put on hold.

For how long?

Uh, indefinitely.

No! Do I still get paid?!

Oh, I don't imagine so.

Ron, I really need the money.

I'm kind of in a tight spot
right now.

And that's why I
got you the audition.

I'll email the sides
to your email address.

Damn it.

Is everything okay?

Uh, yeah, no, everything's fine.
Are you sure?

'Cause it sounded like
everything was not okay.

No, I'm just late
for an audition.

I'm still getting paid
on Friday, right?

Absolutely!

- Where is he?
- Tariq? I don't know.

Did he not come into work?

Is everything all right?

It's all good.

I can't believe
you came to the lux.

It's so public.

An escape in every bite!

And eat it!

Eat the yogurt, kid!

That's a cut.

Okay, that's a cut.
Okay, reset.

Oh, that main kid is really
crashing and burning, huh?

I get paid just to run around
and play?

I get to sit over there
and get told what to do-

Beth, we're making money!

You're right.

You gotta eat it.
That's the job, all right?

You say the line,
you take a bite.

But I can't eat
dairy; I'm allergic.

You're-it's an intolerance,
not an allergy.

He can eat it.
He'll be fine.

Honey, we talked about this.

But it makes me really sick!

Yeah, maybe this is something
you could have mentioned

Before we hired him.
Uh...

Hey, craft table kid,
you like eating, right?

Can you say-

"an escape in every bite!"

Exactly! Okay.
You...

Uh, sorry, what are you doing?

He can do it!

Take the rest
of the day off, kid.

Good, good.

Okay, so when I say action,
you're going to-

Say the line, take a bite,

And smile into the camera.

Where have you been all day?

I was over there.
No, I know, I just-

Okay, let's just go
real quick, people!

Sorry, sorry.

What is going on right now?

Your brother's saving our ass

and is about to make
a lot more money, okay?

How much more?

I dunno, double.
Can we just talk about-

No. No deal.

Beth, shut up!

You just said
simon's about to save your ass.

Seems to me that's worth
at least... Triple,

don't you think?

Are you his sister or his agent?

I'm whatever he needs me to be.

Fine. Triple.

Can I shoot my
commercial now, please?

Yeah.

Let's go!

Simon, don't screw
this up for us, okay?

Great pep talk.

Background!

Camera!

Action!

"An escape in every bite!"

Cut! Perfect!
I wanna do one more!

Cheers, roomie.

No.
No?

No. It's 10 a.M.

I just don't feel like drinking.

Let's do something else.

Okay.
No.

Something not here.

Like what?

I dunno.

You're about to be
a big TV star.

Maybe we should go do something

Before people start swarming you

When you walk down the street.

But what about all the people
swarming you?

I'll wear sunglasses.

Where do you want to go?

I dunno. What do you do
when you're not working,

Or drinking, or having
meaningless sex?

Um...

I dunno.
What do you do?

Well, this is sad.

We could do runyon.

Runyon, great.
Yeah, okay.

We can walk and talk
about things.

Talk about what?

I don't know.
Just grab your keys.

Do you ever think about that?

What? Shopping at I.I. Bean?

No. Having a family.

Yeah.

Oh, god, this is stupid.
What are we doing up here?

I don't know.
You're the one

who said you wanted to do
"something else."

I kinda like it up here.
Look at this view!

All I see is smog.

Come on, look at the trees.

That bush - whatever that is.

I hate nature.
This is not na-

I don't think you can call
runyon canyon nature.

There's a coffee bean
like a 100 meters away.

When we were kids,

my dad used to make us go
camping in algonquin.

Four days of blackfly bites
and endless hikes,

Burnt hot dogs, warm soda pop.

I wanted to shoot myself.

That doesn't sound so bad.

You never talk
about your family.

Not really anything
to talk about.

It's pretty much just me
and my dad.

Did he ever take you camping?

Once.

What happened?

He drove a tent spike
through my hand.

By accident?

Well, that depends on
who you ask.

This is the guy who raised you?

He taught me everything I know.
Look, are we done here?

Yeah. I guess.

I mean, you're not really
feeling this, right?

Can we just back to the lux,

have a drink?

No, no, you know what?

We're not giving up
that easy. Come on.

Come on.

You're not gonna
make me go camping, are you?

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ You can't take back
yesterday ♪

♪ You gotta just let it go ♪

♪ Hey-ey-ey ♪

"You're my twin
brother, Charlie.

I can tell when you're lying."

"so what?"

Loaded a couple movies
off the internet.

"So what?"

"It's stealing, Charlie."

"Well, it's not hurting anyone""

"It's hurting you, your soul.

Theft is a sin.
There's no way around it."

You're right.

What did I do?!

It's okay.

Abby Vargas, you're up.

Hi.

Hello.
Any questions before we start?

Nope. I wasn't expecting
everyone to be here.

Well, our pick-up
was late this year,

so we went straight to testing.

Oh my.

Did your agent explain
this character to you?

She's a missionary.
She's married to god.

I know.

Okay.

Well, let's just try one.

Hi.
Hi.

And action!

"Africa?!"

"if you and Grace
have taught me anything,

It's that you can do anything
you put your mind to."

"I'm just worried about you.

It's not gonna be
easy over there."

"but those who hope in the Lord"

will regain their strength.

They'll soar on wings
of eagles and...

Uh, and soar on the wings
of eagles...

and keep it happening
no matter what.

Filipinos 4:13

Philippians.

Pardon?

It's Philippians, not Filipinos.

Sorry.

Thank you, Abby,
that'll be enough.

I kinda messed up.
Should we run it again?

I just don't think you fit
the tone of our show,

but thanks for coming in.

I really, really need this.

Could we please just try it

one more time?

You're dressed
like a prostitute.

Okay.

You know,
there are a lot of shows on tv,

there aren't a lot of shows
about something.

You guys are actually making

a positive change in this world.

I wanted to be a part of that.

A part of god's work.

Amen.

Thanks for the opportunity.

I'm really sorry I let you down,

but let he who is without sin
cast the first stone.

God bless you.

Hi. Uh, Nick Wagner.

I have a meeting
with Scott Cray.

Thank god.

I was worried there was gonna be

some steep competition
for this job.

Hello, Sabrina.

Great! You can just have a seat

and we'll call you in
when we're ready.

What are you doing here?

Scott saw my set last night-

My set.
You did my set last night.

He saw me perform and
thought I might want to-

- And you said "yes"?
- Of course. I'm not gonna-

You realize you can't do
this job, right?

You're not a complete idiot.

Why wouldn't I be able-it's tv.

Do you know how much material
you have to generate

every day?

I think I have a pretty good-

You've been working on
the same five minutes

of stand-up for months - months!
-

And even then you had
to steal a bit from me

just to make it work.

I apologized!
I didn't realize-

Do you think you can
be funny every day?

Every day, Nick?

That's adorable.

I know what you're doing.

You're trying to get
in my head before I-

Yeah, and it's working;
that should worry you.

Comedy writing
is a blood sport, Nick.

You're too sensitive.

You don't perform well
under pressure.

They're gonna eat you alive.

You won't even make it
past the interview.

Nick Wagner? You're up.

Hey, all kidding aside,
break a leg.

Knock 'em dead, sweetheart!

We're in love.

No, rosa, no.

I cannot cover for you today.
I'm busy.

I have a prior engagement.

Okay, rosa,

Can you callate
your boca, please?

Okay, if all the rooms
aren't cleaned today,

management's gonna kill me.

Don't make me play bad cop
with you, Rosa.

Rosa!

Damn it!

Rosa bailed again?

One day a week
she has to come in,

and that's it.
I don't know what to do.

Why are you wearing a suit?

I signed up for some acting classes.

I know it's stupid.

It's not stupid.

I just wanted to get back
into it, you know.

Not to be famous or anything.

If that happens,
that's great, but...

Now I gotta miss class
and clean all the rooms,

because I hired the laziest
cleaning lady in L.A.

It's not a racial thing.

How much do you pay Rosa?

Twenty-five bucks an hour.

- I'll do it.
- Really?

Yeah, I just had
the worst audition

So I really need the money.

You're still gonna make
rent this week, right?

Yeah, yeah,

Oh, I just mean like
extra money for whatever.

Okay, great.
'cause, you know,

you miss the first class
then you can never catch up

and there'll be
all these little cliques

and I'll be on the outside.

So where do I start?

Right this way.

Lady's choice.

Twenty-five dollars an hour.

Twenty-five dollars an hour.

This is where
you wanted to come?

Yeah, I love this place.
Why is that so hard to believe?

I don't know.
It's just all this...

old-timey hollywood stuff.

Like Grauman's,
the walk of fame,

It just seems all a bit
sentimental for you.

Hey, I'm capable of
sentiment occasionally.

Don't!

We said we'd never
walk away angry.

Hi! Would you be
interested in a free personality quiz?

Would we ever.

Are you two new to los angeles?

We are!
We're on vacation.

It's our honeymoon, actually.

Well, congratulations!

Are you familiar
with dianetics at all?

No, but I would like to be.

Is that anything like diuretics?

I don't think so.

It's a system designed to relieve

psychosomatic disorders

by cleansing the mind
of any harmful mental images.

Oh, so it's like diuretics
for your brain.

What kind of mental images?

You know, anything
that's troubling you.

Things from your past,
the way you see yourself.

Basically anything
that's holding you back.

How does it work?

Oh, we actually have a
film that will explain the entire thing,

so if you'd like to step aside

And give us
your personal information-

Uh, you know what?
We can't,

'cause we're running late

For the universal studios tour.

Well, how long is the film?

How long is the film?!

Thank you very much,

but we already have
one of those.

Thanks.
What is wrong with you?

What? I just wanted
to hear what she had to say.

It sounded interesting.

Hey! Hey, look.

Hey, hey.

Let's get you back to the lux

before someone invites you
to a timeshare seminar.

Yes! Can we go
and get drunk, please?

How about this?

How about we order
some mr. Chow,

watch a movie, curl up,
just you and me.

That sounds great.

Think I can
get that book online?

No. Promise me you won't.

Oh.

Yo, you find him?

Hey, you sure you know
what you're doin'?

D's here.

Says he wants to talk
to you alone.

I don't know what rock
your boy's hiding under,

but you let him know-

The studio has security cameras.

They record everything
day and night,

all onto one little hard drive.

You watch what's on there?

Look, I don't know
what you think you saw-

I know what I saw.

What do you want?

You to make this right
with Tariq.

Can't find him.

I know where he is.

How is he?

I had a doctor
take a look at him,

one who doesn't ask
a lot of questions;

that way, we can keep
this real quiet.

But Tariq's got
a couple requests.

Requests?

It's starting to sound
a lot like blackmail.

Look, I'm your producer,
so I can make this sound

Any way you want it to sound,

but personally,
I think the best way

to handle this situation

is to keep the volume way down.

Now, you owe him
and you know why.

So you make this right
with Tariq,

or I'll hand over
that hard drive

to the press.

Your choice.

Hey, super boy,
thanks for saving the day.

You're welcome.

I think they
laid out some candy,

why don't you go power up?

Simon, no!

You're gonna make yourself sick!

Yeah.

Great. Thanks for that.

Aw, he deserves it.

- He's an amazing kid.
- He has his moments.

Why isn't he in L.A.?

You know, a kid that good,
not a complete nightmare,

he'd work.

No, this was just
a one-time deal.

The little treasure answered
the ad on Craigslist

Without asking, so...

How about you?

You ever thought
of giving it a go?

No.
Come on.

I actually think
the whole thing is kinda lame.

Ah...

Not to-no, that's fair enough.
That's fair enough.

I do think he's great.

If you ever do
find yourself in L.A.,

Drop me a line.

Thanks. Cool.
All right.

This is the
greatest day of my life!

Here, I got a candy for you.

Thank you.
Okay, let's go.

I, uh, some of that stuff
is pretty old.

I haven't been very diligent
keeping the packet fresh.

Oh, sorry I'm late.

Hey. No, no, no!

What?

What's he doing here?

What are you doing here?

What am I...?

It's my show.
The Paul F. Tompkins show.

You don't even know what job
you're interviewing for?

All he said was a talk show.
He didn't say-

This is the guy
you told me to bring in.

It most certainly is not!

Yeah, Nick Wagner.
That is Nick Wagner.

It is?
Yeah.

No, I meant the other guy,
the funny guy.

This is the canadian
plastic bags kid.

I did that bit one time.

I liked him.
You know, he had some decent material.

How's the packet?

It's okay.

It's "okay"?!

Did I hear you right?
"It's okay."

Oh, please, sir, my apologies,

Welcome aboard.

It is rare to see someone
provoke such enthusiasm

from our head writer!

Look, I know you don't like me,

but I took your advice,
all right?

I threw out the bag joke
and I wrote all new stuff-

I tell you what, Nick,
I tell you what...

Make me laugh.

What?

Yeah, make me laugh.

It's a comedy show,

you claim to be a funny person,

It's not unreasonable
for me to request

that you provoke
a sense of mirth in me.

Make me laugh and you're hired.

What, like do a bit
or something?

Okay, uh...

Sabrina, I'm good in bed, right?

Sure, if you can
get over the crying,

the erectile dysfunction,

and the it's-so-childish
it's-creepy pillow talk,

he's still an impossibly
lousy lay.

Then there's the endless
needy texts:

"What are you doing?
"Where are you?"

And that's the healthiest
relationship I've ever had.

Right. Thank you for your time.

See, I didn't realize I was his first.

It's like an episode
of "murder she wrote."

Like, in hindsight,
there were so many signs.

♪ I see the devil
in the faces that I meet ♪

♪ I'll find a new way ♪

That took forever.

Well, do you want it done right?

Rosa does it way quicker.

Wow, that's a pretty outfit.

Oh, I'm just helping Eddie out.

I think you pull it off.

I should...
I'm gonna go.

Connor, my man,

those critical unit promos
are the bomb!

What's that song they use?

I don't know.

It looks great, man.

And you're gonna be a tv star!

Hey, we should have a party,

celebrate!

Yes, absolutely.

No, no, no, hey, we have plans.

Here. Take that.

Just make sure there's
enough booze for everybody.

Um, uh, what should we buy?

Just get one of everything.

I love this man, listen.

All right.

Bye, Raquel.

What?

We're prepared to make
you a substantial one-time payment

In exchange for signing
this confidentiality agreement.

It encompasses
all of your dealings

With Mr. King.

You're forbidden
from disclosing this incident

or any others
you may have witnessed

during your employment here.

For all intents and purposes,
after you sign,

your time with Mr. King
never happened.

Do you understand?

How much are we talking about?

What do you want?

I want a plane ticket home.

And?

That's it.

Tariq...

you can ask for anything you want.

You don't get opportunities
like this twice.

That's what I want.

Hey, if he wants to leave,
then let him go.

We done here?

No.

I wanna talk to you

without all these people around.

That's not a good idea.

Hey, whatever, man.
If that's what it takes

to make this little thing
go away,

then so be it.

Just give us a minute.

Don't apologize.

He's right.
You can't admit any fault.

Ain't nothin to admit.

Just get the drive...

and make sure he signs.

I'm sorry.
I don't want your apology.

Nothing you say means anything.

You told me you loved me.

I do love you.
Look at my face.

I'm gonna carry this with me
for the rest of my life.

Tariq-

any time I start to feel
something for someone,

I will always feel this
because of you.

Just tell me how to fix it.

Just tell me what I need to do.

Please!

You know what I want?

Tell me, I'll do it.

I want all of this
to have never happened.

That was easy.

I never wanna see you again.

Thanks, Mike.

Are you sure you don't
want me to wait for you?

No, it's okay.

We're gonna pick up a few
things for our parents

And then we'll get a cab home.

Thanks for the lift.

Bye.

Did you see when Greg the
grip let me play with the crane?

He didn't let you
play with the crane.

He was pretending.

He goes wherever the crane goes.

Wouldn't that be the best?

Come on.

Let's go in and brush your teeth

before the mall closes,

or have they already
fallen out of your head?

Can we play Texas Hold'em tonight?

What, I didn't take enough
of your pennies last time?

Brush your teeth and we'll see.

Yes!

♪ Oh, let's lie down for another night ♪

♪ I'll hold you close
under these skies ♪

♪ Your brother's
in the basement ♪

♪ Doin' hot knives ♪

♪ Your brother's
in the basement ♪

♪ Doin' hot knives ♪

♪ We struggle to tear ourselves
apart in the night ♪

♪ We struggle to tear ourselves
apart in the light ♪

♪ But your father's on his way
back home from... ♪

Eddie's office.

Abby?

Tariq!

Where have you been?
Kaldrick was looking for you.

Is Eddie around?

No, but I can leave
a message for him.

Can you ask him
to pack up my stuff

and forward it to my
parents' place in Montreal?

What?
Tariq, what's going on?

I can't talk about it.

Okay, um, did something
happen to your family?

Yeah, something
happened to my family.

Just tell Eddie for me, okay?

Of course.

Are you moving back for good?

I don't know.

When is enough enough, Abby?

Tariq, what happened?

I gotta go.

Tariq-

Abby!

So, how did it go?

Great! The teacher said
I was astonishing, so...

That's great.
Um, I just finished up,

so do you mind
if I get paid now?

Oh, yeah, of course, of course.

Awesome.

Let's see here...

Fifty bucks.
There you go.

Fifty?
You said twenty-five an hour.

Yeah, that's what we pay Rosa,

But she, uh, does everything
in two hours, so...

I worked for six hours,
so that's a hundred and fifty.

A hundred and fifty dollars?
What, are you nuts?

I'm not gonna pay you
three times as much

for working three times
as slow! Come on!

Eddie, you lied to me!

Look, Abby,
I am in a fantastic mood.

People don't always
get what they want.

It's fifty bucks.

You can take it or leave it.

♪ ...Tonight! ♪

I'm gonna have a drink.

Jump!
Jump! Jump! Jump!

Hey, no! Connor, no! Stop it!

Jump! Jump! Jump!

No! Shut up!

Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no.

♪ We're hanging out on muscle relaxants ♪

Woo!

♪ Trying hard not to see
the worst ♪

♪ That could happen now... ♪

Okay, come on out.

Eddie!

Yeah. Hey, yeah...
That was awesome.

But, uh, you know,

We're not really supposed
to jump from-

There's a sign up there.

Sorry. I'm sorry.

It's, it's not me, you know?

It's just for insurance reasons.

I would be completely liable.

Won't happen again, all right?

Let's hug it out.
No, please don't!

I gotta keep the t-neck dry.

It's cool, just...

It's a nightmare.

Did you see me?
Did you see me jump?

Yeah. You're an idiot.

You're not drinking.
I can fix that.

Hey, let's just get you out
of these wet clothes, okay?

Come on.

Okay.

♪ And our hearts will slow ♪

♪ Though I know
you hold me tight ♪

♪ Wouldn't you try to find ♪

♪ Someone else to do you up ♪

♪ And you don't know
what you like ♪

Let's get married.

What?
You're a mess.

I know I am.

I'm tired of it.

So is that your proposal?

Got a ring?

How 'bout a champagne cork?

You're all I have here.

That's not true.

Fine, don't marry me.

Take it one step at a time:

be my girlfriend.

Why do you wanna be with me?

Why wouldn't I?

You're beautiful, you're smart,

you're independent.

You have a great ass.

Oh, that's hot.

Shut up, okay?

We're good together
and you know it.

So if I say that
you're my girlfriend,

you're my girlfriend.
Got it?

Got it.

Trying to act like
they don't know who I am.

The party don't stop
until I say it stop!

Oh, you're in charge, daddy.

All right,
y'all make some drinks,

start losing those clothes,

and I'm gonna go fill the tub.

Do somethin'.

Do somethin'!

Do somethin'.

♪ What'll I do if you never find me again ♪

♪ Sittin' in a province ♪

♪ A million miles
from my friends ♪

Abby?

Hello?

Yeah, hey, Nick, it's Scott.
How's it going?

It's uh...

Look, it doesn't matter.
Here's the thing:

we've been talkin' about it

and we're gonna hire
both of you.

You... Wait, I'm sorry,
both of us?

What is-what is-
but what is the "both of us"?

You and Sabrina.

We just loved that back
and forth chemistry you have;

the way she just totally
tore you apart.

That was hilarious, man.
Very, very funny.

- Okay, so we
start at 9:30 tomorrow.

We can work out
the details then, okay?

Uh, yes, thank you!

Great! And Nick...

I fought for you;
Paul did not want you.

So don't let me down.

I won't.

♪ Sometimes it's hard
to be a woman ♪

There you are.

I didn't feel like partying.

Bad day?

What's this?

Abby, the sex is free, I swear.

It's every penny I own.
My movie got canceled.

No.
Mm-hmm. Yup.

I'm sorry.

I cleaned every room of the lux

and I only got fifty, so-

Wait, you what?!

Yeah, I'm gonna figure out
a way to get the rest,

I promise.

Whatever it takes.

I don't wanna move out.

I like living with you.

I like living with you, too.

I got the job.

What?!

I start tomorrow.
Oh my god!

That's amazing!

You don't have to
clean the rooms any-

It's weird if I put it
in there -

But you don't have
to clean rooms anymore.

Just take it back.

Wait, have you ever-

Have you ever been in
a writers room before?

No. I'm terrified.

Do you at least know anyone?

Uh, no.

Well...
You are gonna be great.

Yeah, super-great!

♪ Stand by your man ♪

♪ Give him two arms
to cling to ♪

♪ Something warm to come to ♪

♪ When nights are cold
and lonely ♪

♪ Stand by your man ♪

♪ And tell the world
you love him ♪

♪ Keep giving all
the love you can ♪

♪ Stand by your man ♪

♪ Stand by your man ♪

You ready for us, papi?

♪ Show the world you love him ♪

♪ Keep giving all
the love you can ♪

Oh! Oh!

♪ Stand by your man ♪