The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 6, Episode 9 - Baby Love - full transcript

♪ Well, we're movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To a deluxe apartment
in the sky

♪ Movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up

♪ We finally got
a piece of the pie

♪ Fish don't fry
in the kitchen

♪ Beans don't burn
on the grill

♪ Took a whole lot of tryin'

♪ Just to get up that hill

♪ Now we're up
in the big leagues



♪ Gettin' our turn at bat

♪ As long as we live,
it's you and me, baby

♪ There ain't nothin' wrong
with that

♪ We're movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To a deluxe apartment
in the sky

♪ Movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up

♪ We finally got
a piece of the pie ♪

I just
love this port-a-crib
we ordered for the baby.

I hope Jenny will like it.

Oh, I'm sure she will.

It won't be long before we hear

the pitter-patter
of little feet.



Yeah, Mr. Jefferson
should be home any minute.

We're talking about the baby.

Oh, yeah. The baby.

Oh, I remember when
I was pregnant with Lionel.

It was wonderful.

I know.

There's nothing
like the experience
of becoming a mother.

Oh, I'll never forget
when Jenny was born.

I had a cat that
had kittens once.

Hey, Weez.

Oh, hi, George.
Hello, George.

I wish we knew

whether the baby
will be a boy or girl.

I don't know what
color clothes to get.

Yes.
Before Jenny was born,

we wanted to
wallpaper the nursery,

but we didn't know
what color to choose.

How could you?
You didn't know
what color you'd get.

I'll get it!

Hey, hey.
Hi, everybody.

- Hey, Pop.
- Lionel!

How're you feeling,
honey?
Terrific.

We heard
the baby's heartbeat
for the first time today.

Oh!
Oh, that's wonderful.

And look what we got.

Uh-oh. What're you
gonna do, play doctor?

No,
we did that before
Jenny got pregnant.

Well,
anybody want to hear
the baby's heartbeat?

Yeah!

How about you, Florence?

Uh, no, thanks.
I gotta wash the dishes.

But you just washed the dishes.

Then it shouldn't take me long.

Okay, everybody be quiet.

I'm gonna see if I can hear
the baby's heartbeat.

Hey,
I think I hear
the baby talking!

Hmm, your grandchild's
taking after you already.

The baby says
when it grows up
it wants to be just like me.

To be just like you,
he wouldn't have to
grow up.

Hello.
Shh!

Isn't this great?

Yes.

What are we doing?

I heard the heartbeat.
I heard it. I heard it.

Oh, let me listen.

Hold it. Here, Weez.

Looking forward
to seeing you soon!

Hey, Bentley,
what are you doin' here?

Oh, Mr. J, I just came over
to ask if I could borrow
some noodles.

Why, did you lose yours?

Sure, Bentley.

Get 'em from Florence.
She's in the kitchen.

Thank you.

I heard the heartbeat!

Bum-bum, bum-bum,
bum-bum, bum-bum,

bum-bum, bum-bum...
♪ Mine eyes have
seen the glory

♪ Of the coming
of the Lord ♪

Hello, Florence.
Why aren't you out
there with everyone else?

I'm doing the dishes.

Oh. I was wondering
if you might have some
noodles I could borrow.

You see,
Gina's coming over
for dinner tonight,

and I promised to make
my famous fettuccine Bentley.

Oh, another big date, huh?

Wouldn't you like
to find one special girl?

Oh, I already have.

Several times. Woof!

But haven't you ever
thought about something
more permanent?

Like having
a family of your own
with lots of children?

Oh, yes, uh,
but then I usually watch
an episode of The Waltons,

and I get over it.

I just don't
want to rush things.

That's easy for you to say.

A man can have children
even when he's old.

But a woman,

after a certain age,
her time runs out.

Hmm. Like now, I feel like
I'm playing Beat the Clock.

Oh, where's everyone going?

Upstairs to our apartment.

The kids
want Tom to hear
the baby's heartbeat.

Daddy'll be so excited,
he'll jump up and down.

Uh-oh. Watch out
for falling plaster.

Hey, Bentley, you still here?

Yes, Mr. J.
I need some expert advice.
Oh.

You see, you're a man of action,

someone who takes
the bull by the horns.

He's an expert
on bull, all right.

You see,
I've been working
very hard this year,

and I want to take
my vacation a little early.

But I'm afraid
to ask my supervisor.

I'm sure he'll get upset.

Look, Bentley,
just go in there
and tell him you want it.

But what if he says no?
Then tell him again.

But he'll say no again.
Then tell him again.

I'm afraid I couldn't
do that, Mr. J.
Why not?

Well, just
standing here with you,

I've already
been turned down twice.

Look, Bentley,
you got to go after
what you want in life

or life'll pass you by
and you'll wind up
with nothing.

People like a person
that's straight to the point.

Now,
just go out there
and be aggressive.

You're right.
I'll be aggressive!

That's it.
Fine.

I'll show my boss
what I'm made of.
Right on!

Yes, I'll stand up
and demand my rights!
See, there you go.

Right!
But what if he
still says no?

Then get a new job.

You know, you surprised me.

That was good advice
you gave Mr. Bentley.

Of course it is.
If you want something,
you gotta go after it.

Yeah, from now on,
that's what I'm gonna do.

I'm going after it.

Mmm-hmm.

Well, I don't know
if that's gonna work
with you, Florence.

Whatever you want,
you might have to
catch on the run.

I have a port-a-crib
for Mrs. Jefferson.

Oh, just put it down over there.

Thank you.

This for your baby?

No, I'm not married.

But I do love kids.
Yeah. Me, too.

Really?

Yeah. Someday I'd like to
have a whole houseful of 'em.

Oh, ain't that a blip?

Come and sit down.

Well, I really
gotta go and pick...
Can I get you something?

Wha...
Coffee? Tea?
A sandwich?

How about a piece of pie?

What are you doing?

Being aggressive.
I mean, being polite.

How about egg salad?
No, thank you.

Good, we're out of eggs anyway.

Now, tell me more
about how you'd like to
have a whole houseful of kids.

Yeah, well, I really like kids.

And I'm very fortunate,
you know?

Oh, really, how's that?

Well, my wife
feels the same way.

Your wife?

Yeah, my wife.

Hey,
can I take you up
on that coffee now?

Oh, I'm sorry.
It's all gone.

Well, tea is fine.

That's gone, too.
We're still mad
at the British.

Well, good luck
with your family.

Thanks.

You know, when I first
met my wife, I wasn't sure
she wanted a large family,

but everything turned out great.

How nice.

Lucky for you, you met her.

No, no, it wasn't luck
at all. It was planning.

I was desperate
to find the right woman.

So I finally
went to Forever After
and that's where I met her.

Forever After?
You met your wife
at a funeral parlor?

No, no.
It's a photo dating service.

And the minute I saw
her face up on the screen,

I knew that
she was the one for me.

Hmm, I'll give it a try.

I mean, thanks for stopping by.

Hello, I'd like
the number to Forever After.

And hurry, it's an emergency.

Hello, there.

I'm your matchmaker,
Chuck Furman,

but my friends call me
Chucky Baby.

You must be
Florence Johnston, hmm?

How are you?

Single.

Oh, I know, I know,
it's an age-old problem.

Right. So could we get on
with it before I age anymore?

All right.
You just sit yourself

right down there
and be comfortable.

Now,
the first thing
I want to know is

who Florence Johnston really is.

You wanna
see some I.D.?

No, I'm preparing
a script for your taping,

so I need to delve
into your essence.

Watch it!

I... I... I want to know
what your needs are,
your desires.

Well, I need a husband
because I desire a family.

A husband.

Uh, we don't use the word
"husband" around here.

But that's what I want.

Well, you know it,
and I know it,

but he doesn't have to know it.

Now, suppose you tell me
everything you did today
before you came here.

Okay, well,
I got up this morning

and fixed Miss Jefferson
some oatmeal.

Gourmet cook.

And then I washed the dishes.

Loves water sports.

Then I ran down to the store.

A jogger.

I got on the bus,
transferred twice,
and here I am.

Travels extensively.

Wonderful! Hey! I think
we're really rolling here.

Now, you just
look over your script

while I prepare
for the taping, okay?

Uh, Miss Johnston,
just one more little thing.

Uh, that's not exactly
the face I want.

Yours ain't exactly
the one I want, either.

No... No. What I mean is

I'd like you to... to
change your expression,

you know, something
to draw men to you.

Give me that
"Come take me,
I'm yours" stare.

Don't put your hands on me!

Uh, Miss Johnston, really,

I'm... I'm... I'm
only trying to help.

I mean, you do want
a husband and a family,
don't you?

Right.

Well, then,

trust Chucky Baby.

We have to get someone
interested in you.

Now, you just make
yourself comfortable, okay?

Good. Now, you just
look into this camera,

read those lines and go for it.

Ready?
Okay.

Hello,

my name is Flo,

as in, go with the flow.

I'm a gourmet cook.

I love water sports.

I jog,

and I've traveled extensively.

I was first runner-up
in the Lola Falana
lookalike contest.

Did I say runner-up?

Shoot, I won.

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

Mmm! The poor man
don't stand a chance.

Motherhood, here I come.

I don't believe it.

Oh, too bad
we couldn't get
into the movie.

That's okay with me.

Me, too.
After that Italian meal,

I don't think
I could've fit
down the aisle.

Well, I'm sorry I made
everybody go to Antonio's,

but I had this
craving for pizza.

And spaghetti.

And meatballs.

And antipasto.

Oh.
And lasagna.

Girl, you keep
eating like this,
the baby's first words

are gonna be mamma mia!

Was it my imagination
or were people staring at me?

One more course, honey,
and they would have applauded.

Too bad Tom had to work late.

His favorite food is meatballs.

Well, you know what they say.

You are what you eat.

Hey, I thought y'all
were going to the movies.

Florence, we...

You look, uh...

Radioactive.

It's the new me.

What's wrong with the old you?

Well, I...

Forget it,
we ain't got all night.

Well, it was nice
talking to you all.
Have fun at the movies.

Florence, we're not
going to see a movie.

How about going to see a play?

Florence, what's going on?

Oh, I didn't tell you
before, Miss Jefferson,
but I got a date tonight.

Oh!
Oh, well, that's nice.
But I still don't understand.

Well,
what I'm trying to say is,
I went to this dating service,

and I sort of lied
on my application.

What'd you say,
you work for a living?

It was just a couple
of little lies.

What were they, Florence?

Well, just that
I speak eight languages,

and I used to
hang-glide over India.

See, I told you just
a couple of little ones.

Oh, please don't blow my cover.

Florence, you didn't
have to lie like that.

Yes. Florence,
you're not giving
yourself a chance.

Oh, look, ain't nothing
wrong with telling a little
lie or two when you're dating.

Everybody does it.

Oh?

And what did you
lie about, George?

Me?

Wha... Look,
when I said "everybody,"
I didn't mean everybody.

What I meant was...

Look, would you
explain it to her, Lionel?

Oh, well, Lionel never lied
to me when we were dating,
did you, Lionel?

Mmm...

Lionel?

Well, you remember
our first date,

I said you were one
of the foxiest girls
I ever met?

Yeah?
Well, I lied.

What?
You are the foxiest
girl I ever met.

Oh, honey.

Man, she'll buy anything.

Florence, all we are saying
is one lie leads to another.
Where will it end?

That's easy.
At the altar.

Once you're married,
it don't matter
if you're boring.

You're living proof
of that, George.

Well, Tom should be home soon.

I'd better go upstairs
and wait for him.

We'll go with you.

You got any Alka-Seltzer?

Yeah. I could
use some myself.

I could use a turkey sandwich.

You're kidding.

Well, Mother,
I'm eating for two.

Two what?
Football teams?

Good night.
See you, Louise.

- Bye.
- Good night.

So, you're really going
through with this charade,
huh, Florence?

I have to, Miss Jefferson,
if I wanna find a man.

Well, the way to do that
is to be yourself.

Weezy, I thought
you were her friend.

Never mind him.

Florence, you don't
have to do this.

Flo?

Yes. I mean...

No.
Excuse me?

I mean, my name is not Flo,

it's Florence.

And I haven't traveled
extensively.

As a matter of fact,
the farthest west
I've been is Buffalo.

And when it comes
to water sports,

I get seasick in the bathtub.

Really?

And I don't know nothin'
about no gourmet cooking.

You don't know nothin'
about no kind of cookin'!

Come in, Mark.

This is
Mr. and Mrs. Jefferson.

Hello.
Hello.

Hi.

And I'm their maid.

Their maid?

Yeah, so I'm sorry
you had to waste
your time.

I know
a famous artist like you
don't wanna date no maid.

Well, Flo...
I mean, Florence,

I'm not exactly a famous artist.

But your resume said
you were an artist

whose work
could be seen
all over the city.

Well, that's true.

You see, I'm the guy
who paints those white lines
down the middle of the street.

Hey, I always wondered
who did that.

How you doin'?

Yeah, I work for the city.

But where did you
ever get the idea
to say you were...

Chucky Baby!

What a relief.

I don't think
I would've lasted too long

with that famous artist bit.

Oh,
why don't you sit down?
Yeah.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.
And Florence, another thing.

You know on my resume,

I said I was
really into skydiving?

Yeah?
Well, I lied.

But I did fall out of bed once.

Oh, I sure am glad
we got this straightened out.

Yeah, me, too.
Come on, George.
They want to be alone.

Okay.
See you later, Mark.
Okay.

Next time
I'm changing lanes,
I'll think about you.

So, Mark,
let's talk and see
how compatible we really are.

Okay, let's talk.
Name a subject.

All right. Marriage.

Marriage?

Well, I believe in marriage.

Do you?

Believe in it?
I pray for it.

How do you feel
about long engagements?

I don't see any reason
for long engagements,

once you find the right person.

Really?

Well, you sound like a man
who wants to get married
and have eight or nine kids.

Not exactly.

Six or seven?

Well...

Two kids and a dog?

Florence,
I think parenthood
is a wonderful thing.

All right!

But it's not for me.
I've decided not to have kids.

Oh.

Oh.

I'm getting a headache.

Oh, is there something I can do?

Not anymore.

Well, I better not go tonight.

Okay.

But if your, uh, headache
should happen to go away,

I'll be at the Blue
Peacock Restaurant.

Well, I don't know.

Sometimes these headaches
last a long time.

I know,
'cause I had one last week.

How long did it last?
Two weeks.

Florence, I'd really like
to get to know you better.

Same here.
I'll come visit you sometime.

You don't even know
where I live.

I'll follow the white lines.

Florence, what happened to Mark?

Oh, he wasn't for me.

I mean, he was,
but he couldn't do
what I wanted him to do.

I mean, he could,
if he wanted to.

But he didn't want to.

So, of course,
I didn't want him.

I'm gonna watch
the president's
press conference.

Compared to you,
even he makes sense!

Florence, I know
something's wrong.

It might help to talk about it.

Oh, Mark doesn't
want to have kids.

Huh?

Oh, Miss Jefferson,
you wouldn't understand.

You've got Lionel.

Lionel?
What has this got
to do with Lionel?

He's your son, ain't he?

Of course he's my son.
But...

Yeah, you've got Lionel,
Mrs. Willis has got Jenny.

Jenny's pregnant.

I'm the only one
who ain't having a baby.

But, Florence, you know,

babies aren't made overnight.

I mean, you might
have one someday.

I can't wait for someday.

If I don't get married
and start a family soon,
it's gonna be too late!

And then where will I be?

What kind of a woman
would I be with no kids?

I'd be like a frame
without a picture.

A camera without film.

Florence!

A corncob without niblets.

Florence, there are a lot
of women without children.

I ain't talking about
a lot of women.

I'm talking about me.

Oh, Miss Jefferson,
you don't know

what it's like to
want to have a child

and not be able to have one.

Oh, yes, I do, Florence.

Huh?

I said I do know what it's like

to want a child
and not be able
to have one.

You mean
Lionel's adopted?
No.

You stole him?

No.

But before George
and I got married,

we decided that
we wanted a big family.

After Lionel was born,
I found out

that I couldn't
have any more children.

Oh, Miss Jefferson, I'm sorry...

For a long time after that,

I felt I was less of a woman.

But then I realized,

it's me who makes me a woman.

Not a baby, not a husband,

not anything else.

Maybe so.
But I'd still like
to have a family.

Well,
you might have
a family one day.

But even if you don't,

you'll still be a woman.

Hmm.

Miss Jefferson,
do you think
I'm woman enough

to talk a man
into doing something

he doesn't want to do at first?

Sure. You talked George
into hiring you, didn't you?

I'll see you later.
Where are you going?

To the restaurant to catch Mark.

Oh, Florence, that's great.

I'm sure you'll have
a wonderful time.

Thanks.
And by the way,
you're quite a woman.

Thank you, Florence.
So are you.

I know.

Where's she off to?

Oh, she decided to meet
Mark for dinner after all.

Good. That means
we got the place
all to ourselves, huh?

Maybe we'll watch a little TV,

maybe cuddle up
a little bit, and, uh...

Oh, I don't know, George.

I think I'd just rather
read a while, then turn in.

But, Weezy,
it's only 8:00.

Well, what's the difference?

Like you said,

if you're married,
it doesn't matter
if you're boring.

Please, Weezy?

♪ Movin', movin' on up ♪

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.