The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 6, Episode 4 - Now You See It, Now You Don't: Part 1 - full transcript
Everybody gathers at the Jeffersons' apartment to get ready to attend a Halloween party at Charlie's Bar. Each person is dressed up as a famous movie star and there will be a best-costume content. While the neighbors show off their costumes to one another, Bentley goes to the Jeffersons' balcony to look at the stars through his telescope. Later, when Louise looks through the telescope into a nearby building, she believes she is seeing a giant rabbit shooting somebody.
♪ Well, we're movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To a deluxe apartment
in the sky
♪ Movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up
♪ We finally got
a piece of the pie
♪ Fish don't fry
in the kitchen
♪ Beans don't burn
on the grill
♪ Took a whole lot of tryin'
♪ Just to get up that hill
♪ Now we're up
in the big leagues
♪ Gettin' our turn at bat
♪ As long as we live,
it's you and me, baby
♪ There ain't nothin' wrong
with that
♪ We're movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To a deluxe apartment
in the sky
♪ Movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up
♪ We finally got
a piece of the pie ♪
Oh, hi, Mr. Bentley.
Oh, I'm fine, thanks.
Here, let me help.
Thank you, Mrs. J.
You're going to Charley's
Halloween party tonight,
aren't you?
Yes, I've got
my costume right here.
You're going as a file clerk?
Oh, no,
this is just some
work from the Help Center.
When you stop by
before the party,
you'll get to see my costume.
Oh, splendid.
I just love Halloween.
The goblins,
the monsters,
the ghouls.
It's what America is all about.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
I'm home!
Oh, Florence!
That's a great costume.
Harpo Marx, right?
Is George getting ready?
Good.
Did you carve out
the jack-o-lantern?
Why not?
Oh.
Huh?
I'm sorry, Miss Jefferson.
I just didn't have time
to carve the pumpkin.
Oh, that's a shame.
Halloween is not the same
without a jack-o-lantern.
We could stick a candle
in Mr. Jefferson's mouth
and watch his eyes light up.
Oh, Florence,
I want to show you something.
How do I look?
Like you mugged a Muppet.
Shut your mouth
and open your eyes,
here comes the guy
who's gonna win first prize.
Oh, George,
you're The Little Tramp.
I knew someday
you'd see it my way.
Oh, it was a great idea
for all of us to dress up
as old movie stars.
Yeah, I know
it was a great idea.
It was my idea.
I'm gonna win that costume
contest tonight because
I got...
Cut that out.
Like I was saying,
when those judges see me,
their eyes are gonna pop out.
I'm gonna be so sharp...
Stop that!
Tonight's gonna be great.
When I go up there
to pick up my trophy,
I'm gonna feel like...
A fish!
What the hell are you doing?
Oh, George,
Florence is just having fun.
But I hate fish.
It's only rubber.
Oh, yeah?
It probably tastes
like your pot roast.
You know,
Halloween is so much fun.
Yeah, I remember
when I was a kid.
You must have a great memory.
We were so poor,
we used to bob
for apple cores.
Tell me about it.
My first party,
I couldn't afford a costume.
So I just wrapped
myself up in tin foil
and came as leftovers.
When we went trick-or-treating,
we usually didn't get no candy,
so we just went around
soapin' windows.
I never did that.
From the looks
of these windows,
you still don't.
When it comes to work,
I do my share.
Yeah, you share it
with everybody else.
Oh, please, don't you two start.
I just want a quiet,
peaceful evening.
I've been working so hard
at the Help Center,
it's got me seeing double.
Lord, that must be rough,
seeing two of him.
Oh! I'd better get dressed.
I invited Tom, Helen
and Mr. Bentley over
for a drink.
I wonder who they're gonna be.
Probably The Three Stooges.
Florence,
fix me a drink.
I'm off duty.
No, you ain't.
It's Halloween,
all witches are on duty.
What's that supposed to mean?
Mrs. Jefferson don't
want us talking nasty
to each other tonight.
So I'll be honkin' my thoughts.
Well, you keep your honkin'
to yourself.
Okay, you like sounding
like a goose,
why don't you waddle over
and answer the door?
Ooh, that was a good one.
Hello, hello!
Oh, Florence,
what a wonderful costume.
You look just like Harpo Marx.
Thank you, Mr. Bentley.
And you look just like...
Ducky Dempster.
Yeah. Who?
Ducky Dempster.
He's my favorite
British comedian.
Oh, that Ducky Dempster.
Yes. Yeah, one of
his favorite characters
is Percy the barkeep.
Um, he says, "Oh, you say
you want a fifth of Scotch
and two pints of gin
"in your garage
by 8:30?
"That ought to take
the mice out of your auto."
Oh, I've got a thousand of them.
Any of them funny?
Oh, Mr. J, you make
a wonderful Charlie Chaplin.
I was wondering if I could
ask you a favor?
I need to borrow your balcony.
What for?
Uh, to set up my telescope.
I want to view the Dog Star.
Lassie?
No, no, Sirius.
I am serious.
No, Sirius is the Dog Star.
You see, it's rising tonight,
and I can't see it
from my balcony.
Oh, sure, go ahead.
Help yourself. Set it up.
Oh, thank you, Mr. J.
You're a pip.
A pip?
Wait till Gladys Knight
hears that!
Florence, peel me a grape.
My goodness!
Look at that necklace!
Goodness had nothin'
to do with it.
How you doin', big boy?
Who you callin' boy?
Who you callin' big?
Oh, Mae West!
Uh, say,
ain't it true
you've had dozens of
interesting men in your life?
It ain't the men in my life,
it's the life in my men
that counts.
Oh, Weez, you look great.
Oh, thank you, George.
Now, I just want to go in
and check on my make-up.
Why don't you come up
and see me sometime?
Mr. Bentley,
did you set up
your telescope yet?
Oh, yes.
As Ducky Dempster would say,
"Full speed ahead,
and watch out for
the horse's underwear!"
Hey, Bentley,
how do you use this thing?
Oh, I'll show you, Mr. J.
Just a moment.
Uh, just look in the eyepiece.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, I can see
into the apartment
across the way.
Hot damn! That woman
ain't got nothin' on
but a bikini.
A bikini?
Yeah, I don't believe it,
Bentley.
She's doing jumping jacks!
One, two...
Ain't that disgusting?
I don't know.
I haven't looked yet.
Florence, get me out!
Oh, the bathroom door
must be stuck again.
I'm coming,
Mrs. Jefferson.
Here, Florence, let me help.
Bravo.
Bravo, Florence.
Are you all right, Mrs. J?
I'm fine,
but we've got to
get that door fixed.
Well, I'll be off.
I'll be back later
for the pre-party party.
Until then,
as Ducky Dempster would say,
"Don't let your doggie
take a shower."
Don't let your doggie
take a shower!
The man needs help.
24, 25.
Oh, what is George doing?
Oh, he's watching some girl
through Mr. Bentley's
telescope do her exercises.
Boy, Bentley.
Look at her go.
Man, if I was only
a few years younger.
Mmm.
If you don't get away
from that telescope,
you won't get any older.
Oh, Weezy, you know,
it's kind of cold out here.
Let's get inside.
Uh, what were you looking at?
Nothing.
Okay, I was looking
into the church!
Then what were you counting?
My blessings.
Well, let me look for myself.
Hey, what's that?
What's what?
Oh, forget it.
Go ahead, look in the telescope.
Well, what do you see?
Well, I don't see a church.
I see... My God!
Boy, that must be
a strong telescope.
Well, what's wrong,
Miss Jefferson?
Weez, you okay?
Well, say something.
Anything!
Horrible.
Horrible?
What's horrible?
What are you talking about?
I saw a man kill someone.
I don't see nothing.
Well, you must have
moved the telescope.
It happened out there
in one of those buildings.
Which building?
I don't know.
Well, that narrows it down
to Manhattan.
I've got to
call the police.
The police?
Yes. Somebody may be
getting killed over there.
But I thought you said
he already was killed.
He was killed.
But I don't know
if he's dead yet.
Oh.
Well, what I mean is...
No, I don't know what I mean.
Okay, okay, look,
I'll call the police.
You're too excited.
Florence,
fix Weezy a drink.
I know she could use one.
Uh, hello, get me the police.
I wanna report a murder.
Of course it's an emergency!
Stupid!
Hello, uh, look,
my wife said she just
saw somebody kill somebody.
What did he look like?
He was about 5'10".
About 5'10".
And he had a mustache.
A mustache.
Horn-rimmed glasses.
Horn-rimmed glasses.
Furry ears and a cotton tail.
Furry ears...
And a cotton tail?
The killer was a rabbit.
Lord have mercy.
Uh, hello, uh, uh,
my wife said that, uh,
the killer was a rabbit.
A white rabbit.
A white rabbit.
And tell him just
before he shot the guy,
he hit him with a big carrot.
Hello? Right.
Uh, uh, my name?
Tom Willis!
You don't believe me, do you?
Of course I do, Weezy,
but look, the police don't
know you as well as I do.
I mean,
they'll never believe you.
Well, I'm telling you.
I saw a man dressed
like a rabbit kill somebody.
Miss Jefferson,
I believe you thought
you saw something,
but you said yourself
you were so tired
you were seein' double.
But I only saw one rabbit.
Yeah, with a blackjack carrot.
Yeah, look, Weezy,
you probably just saw
two dudes foolin' around.
I mean, you know,
it is Halloween.
Well, maybe you're right.
I guess it is kind of silly.
Who ever heard
of a killer rabbit?
Jimmy Carter.
Yeah, it was just
an optical illusion.
You know, like
Florence's housecleaning.
Well, I gotta try
to cheer her up,
don't I?
Good evening, Florence.
I'm afraid I didn't get that.
Why not?
She's talking honkey.
Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Willis.
Come on in.
After you, Stanley.
No, Ollie, after you.
Oh, but I insist.
No, I insist.
Well, here's
another fine mess
you've gotten me into.
You two are great.
Oh, thank you.
What's this?
Just thought
I'd give you a hand.
Hi, George.
Chaplin!
Oh, hi, Louise!
Your costume is wonderful!
Hello, Helen.
What's the matter?
Oh, nothing.
Well, I hope we get
a better reception
at the contest.
We went to a lot of trouble
finding these costumes.
Oh, that's too bad.
Why didn't the two of you
just hold hands and come
as a zebra?
I'm sorry, Helen,
your costumes are great.
I'm just a little tired.
Well, I know how we can
liven things up around here.
Are you leaving?
Come on, Helen,
let's do that bit
we worked out
for the contest tonight.
Great idea, Tom.
Louise, wait until you see this.
All right?
Mmm-hmm, yes.
Stanley, do you have the time?
Yes, I do.
Well, would you mind telling me?
Oh!
There!
See how simple that was?
It's 9:00.
Thank you.
Oh, no, Ollie...
Saved by the bell.
Admit it, George,
this act
will have people
rolling in the aisles.
Yeah, I just hope
you don't roll on 'em.
Trick or treat!
Hey!
Good evening,
Mr. Jefferson, sir.
Hey, Ralph.
Who are the kids?
Well, sir...
Stick 'em up,
sidewinder.
Yeah, we want some candy.
Whoa, there, partner.
Now, you wouldn't shoot
a helpless Little Tramp,
would you?
Please don't tempt them, sir.
We want some candy.
Yeah, we want candy.
Hey!
Give us some candy.
How would you like a candy cane?
You touch us
and we'll tell
our grandfather.
Oh, yeah?
And who's that?
It's Mr. Whittendale, sir.
Ah, Mr. Whittendale!
You mean...
Yes, sir,
your landlord,
Mr. Whittendale.
The man
who was gracious
enough to entrust me
with the welfare of these
two darling little boys.
Sir, meet Willy
and Wally Whittendale.
Oh, yeah,
what great-looking kids.
Yes, yes.
We want some candy!
Well, go help yourselves.
Okay.
Cute little kids.
Happy Halloween.
I hope we do better
on the next floor.
See you, later, Ralph.
Oh, wait, sir.
You forgot someone.
Oh, hey, I didn't even see you.
This is my nephew, Binky.
Trick or treat.
Look, Binky. I'm sorry.
The Whittendales wiped out
all the candy.
Oh. Hold it. Hold it.
Look, here's a quarter.
Go get your own.
No problem,
Mr. Jefferson.
Well, actually, sir,
there is a bit of a problem.
This time of night,
most of the candy
stores are closed
and you know
how high the prices are
in those all-night joints.
Oh, thank you, sir.
You know,
with today's inflation,
the cost of candy
is way out of
the average kid's
price range.
Oh, thank you, sir.
I mean, it's a downright shame
when a candy bar
gets to the point of...
Here, here, here!
Take it all!
Thanks, Mr. Jefferson.
You were right, Uncle Ralph.
He is a soft touch!
Isn't... Isn't
my nephew cute, sir?
Oh, yeah, cute kid.
I can see
the family resemblance.
Oh, really?
Yeah. Your palms
look exactly alike.
Louise, you're out of ice.
Louise?
Huh? What, Tom?
You're out of ice.
Well, I'll go down
to Charley's and get some.
Oh, I'll get it, Louise.
Uh, no, thanks, Helen.
I, uh, need to get some air.
What's the matter with Louise?
I don't know,
but something's wrong.
She said she needed some air.
Yeah, and it's all
your fault, Willis.
My fault?
Yeah. If you
stopped breathing,
she'd have enough.
Ah, good evening
and welcome, Miss West.
Hi, Charley.
I love your costume.
Thank you.
Can you fill this up
for me, please?
Gladly.
What's your pleasure,
type O or B positive?
Ice cubes will do.
Oh, very well.
I'll see what I can dig up.
Oh, my God! The killer!
Leave me alone!
I don't know anything!
I never saw you before
in my life.
It's me.
Oh, Mr. Bentley.
The killer rabbit!
Uh, no.
Ducky Dempster!
Uh, no, he's here in the bar.
Ducky Dempster?
Oh, I must get his autograph.
No, the rabbit.
I was looking
through your telescope
and I saw a man
dressed like a rabbit
kill someone.
What?
And he's in here
right now.
The man who was killed?
No, the killer.
He's right over there.
Well, we have
to do something!
Right.
What do we have to do?
Uh, uh, call the police.
Good thinking.
Have you got a dime?
Oh, it's too late.
He's leaving.
Mr. Bentley,
we've got to stop him.
Right. How?
I don't know.
Mrs. J,
I'm not exactly
the physical type.
I... I get nosebleeds
watching tennis.
He's leaving.
All right.
I'll stop him.
But, I'll have to do it subtly.
Good.
Banzai!
Hey, what is it...
I got him, Mrs. J!
Where do you think
you're going?
To the bathroom.
Do you mind?
Uh, Mr. Bentley.
Mr. Bentley!
To the bathroom, huh?
You can't fool me, jocko!
Uh, Mr. Bentley,
that's not him.
I beg your pardon?
That's not him.
Oh. Trick or treat.
Get off me, fool.
Are... Are you okay?
Oh, I'm terribly sorry, sir.
We mistook you
for another rabbit.
Another rabbit.
I'm so humiliated.
Oh, look.
Here... Here you go,
Mrs. Jefferson.
Uh, look,
no hard feelings, right?
Well...
Aw, come on.
Have one on the house.
Sit and allow me
to prepare my specialty,
a Bloody Mary.
Mrs. J,
I think we should go.
I can't understand it.
I was sure I saw him
in here just a moment ago.
Well, perhaps you're
just imagining things.
That's what George
and Florence said.
Oh, maybe they were right.
But I could have sworn
I saw a rabbit
with horn-rimmed glasses
and a mustache,
kill somebody.
Here are some scenes
from next week's
concluding episode.
What are you doing here?
You know why I'm here.
Oh, right.
You want some candy.
I'm gonna throw you
off the balcony.
Off the balcony?
It's perfect.
"Crazed housewife
takes suicide plunge."
Now I got
a bullet in here
for each one of you.
If you run short,
somebody else can have mine.
♪ Movin', movin' ♪
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To a deluxe apartment
in the sky
♪ Movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up
♪ We finally got
a piece of the pie
♪ Fish don't fry
in the kitchen
♪ Beans don't burn
on the grill
♪ Took a whole lot of tryin'
♪ Just to get up that hill
♪ Now we're up
in the big leagues
♪ Gettin' our turn at bat
♪ As long as we live,
it's you and me, baby
♪ There ain't nothin' wrong
with that
♪ We're movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To a deluxe apartment
in the sky
♪ Movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up
♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up
♪ We finally got
a piece of the pie ♪
Oh, hi, Mr. Bentley.
Oh, I'm fine, thanks.
Here, let me help.
Thank you, Mrs. J.
You're going to Charley's
Halloween party tonight,
aren't you?
Yes, I've got
my costume right here.
You're going as a file clerk?
Oh, no,
this is just some
work from the Help Center.
When you stop by
before the party,
you'll get to see my costume.
Oh, splendid.
I just love Halloween.
The goblins,
the monsters,
the ghouls.
It's what America is all about.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
I'm home!
Oh, Florence!
That's a great costume.
Harpo Marx, right?
Is George getting ready?
Good.
Did you carve out
the jack-o-lantern?
Why not?
Oh.
Huh?
I'm sorry, Miss Jefferson.
I just didn't have time
to carve the pumpkin.
Oh, that's a shame.
Halloween is not the same
without a jack-o-lantern.
We could stick a candle
in Mr. Jefferson's mouth
and watch his eyes light up.
Oh, Florence,
I want to show you something.
How do I look?
Like you mugged a Muppet.
Shut your mouth
and open your eyes,
here comes the guy
who's gonna win first prize.
Oh, George,
you're The Little Tramp.
I knew someday
you'd see it my way.
Oh, it was a great idea
for all of us to dress up
as old movie stars.
Yeah, I know
it was a great idea.
It was my idea.
I'm gonna win that costume
contest tonight because
I got...
Cut that out.
Like I was saying,
when those judges see me,
their eyes are gonna pop out.
I'm gonna be so sharp...
Stop that!
Tonight's gonna be great.
When I go up there
to pick up my trophy,
I'm gonna feel like...
A fish!
What the hell are you doing?
Oh, George,
Florence is just having fun.
But I hate fish.
It's only rubber.
Oh, yeah?
It probably tastes
like your pot roast.
You know,
Halloween is so much fun.
Yeah, I remember
when I was a kid.
You must have a great memory.
We were so poor,
we used to bob
for apple cores.
Tell me about it.
My first party,
I couldn't afford a costume.
So I just wrapped
myself up in tin foil
and came as leftovers.
When we went trick-or-treating,
we usually didn't get no candy,
so we just went around
soapin' windows.
I never did that.
From the looks
of these windows,
you still don't.
When it comes to work,
I do my share.
Yeah, you share it
with everybody else.
Oh, please, don't you two start.
I just want a quiet,
peaceful evening.
I've been working so hard
at the Help Center,
it's got me seeing double.
Lord, that must be rough,
seeing two of him.
Oh! I'd better get dressed.
I invited Tom, Helen
and Mr. Bentley over
for a drink.
I wonder who they're gonna be.
Probably The Three Stooges.
Florence,
fix me a drink.
I'm off duty.
No, you ain't.
It's Halloween,
all witches are on duty.
What's that supposed to mean?
Mrs. Jefferson don't
want us talking nasty
to each other tonight.
So I'll be honkin' my thoughts.
Well, you keep your honkin'
to yourself.
Okay, you like sounding
like a goose,
why don't you waddle over
and answer the door?
Ooh, that was a good one.
Hello, hello!
Oh, Florence,
what a wonderful costume.
You look just like Harpo Marx.
Thank you, Mr. Bentley.
And you look just like...
Ducky Dempster.
Yeah. Who?
Ducky Dempster.
He's my favorite
British comedian.
Oh, that Ducky Dempster.
Yes. Yeah, one of
his favorite characters
is Percy the barkeep.
Um, he says, "Oh, you say
you want a fifth of Scotch
and two pints of gin
"in your garage
by 8:30?
"That ought to take
the mice out of your auto."
Oh, I've got a thousand of them.
Any of them funny?
Oh, Mr. J, you make
a wonderful Charlie Chaplin.
I was wondering if I could
ask you a favor?
I need to borrow your balcony.
What for?
Uh, to set up my telescope.
I want to view the Dog Star.
Lassie?
No, no, Sirius.
I am serious.
No, Sirius is the Dog Star.
You see, it's rising tonight,
and I can't see it
from my balcony.
Oh, sure, go ahead.
Help yourself. Set it up.
Oh, thank you, Mr. J.
You're a pip.
A pip?
Wait till Gladys Knight
hears that!
Florence, peel me a grape.
My goodness!
Look at that necklace!
Goodness had nothin'
to do with it.
How you doin', big boy?
Who you callin' boy?
Who you callin' big?
Oh, Mae West!
Uh, say,
ain't it true
you've had dozens of
interesting men in your life?
It ain't the men in my life,
it's the life in my men
that counts.
Oh, Weez, you look great.
Oh, thank you, George.
Now, I just want to go in
and check on my make-up.
Why don't you come up
and see me sometime?
Mr. Bentley,
did you set up
your telescope yet?
Oh, yes.
As Ducky Dempster would say,
"Full speed ahead,
and watch out for
the horse's underwear!"
Hey, Bentley,
how do you use this thing?
Oh, I'll show you, Mr. J.
Just a moment.
Uh, just look in the eyepiece.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, I can see
into the apartment
across the way.
Hot damn! That woman
ain't got nothin' on
but a bikini.
A bikini?
Yeah, I don't believe it,
Bentley.
She's doing jumping jacks!
One, two...
Ain't that disgusting?
I don't know.
I haven't looked yet.
Florence, get me out!
Oh, the bathroom door
must be stuck again.
I'm coming,
Mrs. Jefferson.
Here, Florence, let me help.
Bravo.
Bravo, Florence.
Are you all right, Mrs. J?
I'm fine,
but we've got to
get that door fixed.
Well, I'll be off.
I'll be back later
for the pre-party party.
Until then,
as Ducky Dempster would say,
"Don't let your doggie
take a shower."
Don't let your doggie
take a shower!
The man needs help.
24, 25.
Oh, what is George doing?
Oh, he's watching some girl
through Mr. Bentley's
telescope do her exercises.
Boy, Bentley.
Look at her go.
Man, if I was only
a few years younger.
Mmm.
If you don't get away
from that telescope,
you won't get any older.
Oh, Weezy, you know,
it's kind of cold out here.
Let's get inside.
Uh, what were you looking at?
Nothing.
Okay, I was looking
into the church!
Then what were you counting?
My blessings.
Well, let me look for myself.
Hey, what's that?
What's what?
Oh, forget it.
Go ahead, look in the telescope.
Well, what do you see?
Well, I don't see a church.
I see... My God!
Boy, that must be
a strong telescope.
Well, what's wrong,
Miss Jefferson?
Weez, you okay?
Well, say something.
Anything!
Horrible.
Horrible?
What's horrible?
What are you talking about?
I saw a man kill someone.
I don't see nothing.
Well, you must have
moved the telescope.
It happened out there
in one of those buildings.
Which building?
I don't know.
Well, that narrows it down
to Manhattan.
I've got to
call the police.
The police?
Yes. Somebody may be
getting killed over there.
But I thought you said
he already was killed.
He was killed.
But I don't know
if he's dead yet.
Oh.
Well, what I mean is...
No, I don't know what I mean.
Okay, okay, look,
I'll call the police.
You're too excited.
Florence,
fix Weezy a drink.
I know she could use one.
Uh, hello, get me the police.
I wanna report a murder.
Of course it's an emergency!
Stupid!
Hello, uh, look,
my wife said she just
saw somebody kill somebody.
What did he look like?
He was about 5'10".
About 5'10".
And he had a mustache.
A mustache.
Horn-rimmed glasses.
Horn-rimmed glasses.
Furry ears and a cotton tail.
Furry ears...
And a cotton tail?
The killer was a rabbit.
Lord have mercy.
Uh, hello, uh, uh,
my wife said that, uh,
the killer was a rabbit.
A white rabbit.
A white rabbit.
And tell him just
before he shot the guy,
he hit him with a big carrot.
Hello? Right.
Uh, uh, my name?
Tom Willis!
You don't believe me, do you?
Of course I do, Weezy,
but look, the police don't
know you as well as I do.
I mean,
they'll never believe you.
Well, I'm telling you.
I saw a man dressed
like a rabbit kill somebody.
Miss Jefferson,
I believe you thought
you saw something,
but you said yourself
you were so tired
you were seein' double.
But I only saw one rabbit.
Yeah, with a blackjack carrot.
Yeah, look, Weezy,
you probably just saw
two dudes foolin' around.
I mean, you know,
it is Halloween.
Well, maybe you're right.
I guess it is kind of silly.
Who ever heard
of a killer rabbit?
Jimmy Carter.
Yeah, it was just
an optical illusion.
You know, like
Florence's housecleaning.
Well, I gotta try
to cheer her up,
don't I?
Good evening, Florence.
I'm afraid I didn't get that.
Why not?
She's talking honkey.
Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Willis.
Come on in.
After you, Stanley.
No, Ollie, after you.
Oh, but I insist.
No, I insist.
Well, here's
another fine mess
you've gotten me into.
You two are great.
Oh, thank you.
What's this?
Just thought
I'd give you a hand.
Hi, George.
Chaplin!
Oh, hi, Louise!
Your costume is wonderful!
Hello, Helen.
What's the matter?
Oh, nothing.
Well, I hope we get
a better reception
at the contest.
We went to a lot of trouble
finding these costumes.
Oh, that's too bad.
Why didn't the two of you
just hold hands and come
as a zebra?
I'm sorry, Helen,
your costumes are great.
I'm just a little tired.
Well, I know how we can
liven things up around here.
Are you leaving?
Come on, Helen,
let's do that bit
we worked out
for the contest tonight.
Great idea, Tom.
Louise, wait until you see this.
All right?
Mmm-hmm, yes.
Stanley, do you have the time?
Yes, I do.
Well, would you mind telling me?
Oh!
There!
See how simple that was?
It's 9:00.
Thank you.
Oh, no, Ollie...
Saved by the bell.
Admit it, George,
this act
will have people
rolling in the aisles.
Yeah, I just hope
you don't roll on 'em.
Trick or treat!
Hey!
Good evening,
Mr. Jefferson, sir.
Hey, Ralph.
Who are the kids?
Well, sir...
Stick 'em up,
sidewinder.
Yeah, we want some candy.
Whoa, there, partner.
Now, you wouldn't shoot
a helpless Little Tramp,
would you?
Please don't tempt them, sir.
We want some candy.
Yeah, we want candy.
Hey!
Give us some candy.
How would you like a candy cane?
You touch us
and we'll tell
our grandfather.
Oh, yeah?
And who's that?
It's Mr. Whittendale, sir.
Ah, Mr. Whittendale!
You mean...
Yes, sir,
your landlord,
Mr. Whittendale.
The man
who was gracious
enough to entrust me
with the welfare of these
two darling little boys.
Sir, meet Willy
and Wally Whittendale.
Oh, yeah,
what great-looking kids.
Yes, yes.
We want some candy!
Well, go help yourselves.
Okay.
Cute little kids.
Happy Halloween.
I hope we do better
on the next floor.
See you, later, Ralph.
Oh, wait, sir.
You forgot someone.
Oh, hey, I didn't even see you.
This is my nephew, Binky.
Trick or treat.
Look, Binky. I'm sorry.
The Whittendales wiped out
all the candy.
Oh. Hold it. Hold it.
Look, here's a quarter.
Go get your own.
No problem,
Mr. Jefferson.
Well, actually, sir,
there is a bit of a problem.
This time of night,
most of the candy
stores are closed
and you know
how high the prices are
in those all-night joints.
Oh, thank you, sir.
You know,
with today's inflation,
the cost of candy
is way out of
the average kid's
price range.
Oh, thank you, sir.
I mean, it's a downright shame
when a candy bar
gets to the point of...
Here, here, here!
Take it all!
Thanks, Mr. Jefferson.
You were right, Uncle Ralph.
He is a soft touch!
Isn't... Isn't
my nephew cute, sir?
Oh, yeah, cute kid.
I can see
the family resemblance.
Oh, really?
Yeah. Your palms
look exactly alike.
Louise, you're out of ice.
Louise?
Huh? What, Tom?
You're out of ice.
Well, I'll go down
to Charley's and get some.
Oh, I'll get it, Louise.
Uh, no, thanks, Helen.
I, uh, need to get some air.
What's the matter with Louise?
I don't know,
but something's wrong.
She said she needed some air.
Yeah, and it's all
your fault, Willis.
My fault?
Yeah. If you
stopped breathing,
she'd have enough.
Ah, good evening
and welcome, Miss West.
Hi, Charley.
I love your costume.
Thank you.
Can you fill this up
for me, please?
Gladly.
What's your pleasure,
type O or B positive?
Ice cubes will do.
Oh, very well.
I'll see what I can dig up.
Oh, my God! The killer!
Leave me alone!
I don't know anything!
I never saw you before
in my life.
It's me.
Oh, Mr. Bentley.
The killer rabbit!
Uh, no.
Ducky Dempster!
Uh, no, he's here in the bar.
Ducky Dempster?
Oh, I must get his autograph.
No, the rabbit.
I was looking
through your telescope
and I saw a man
dressed like a rabbit
kill someone.
What?
And he's in here
right now.
The man who was killed?
No, the killer.
He's right over there.
Well, we have
to do something!
Right.
What do we have to do?
Uh, uh, call the police.
Good thinking.
Have you got a dime?
Oh, it's too late.
He's leaving.
Mr. Bentley,
we've got to stop him.
Right. How?
I don't know.
Mrs. J,
I'm not exactly
the physical type.
I... I get nosebleeds
watching tennis.
He's leaving.
All right.
I'll stop him.
But, I'll have to do it subtly.
Good.
Banzai!
Hey, what is it...
I got him, Mrs. J!
Where do you think
you're going?
To the bathroom.
Do you mind?
Uh, Mr. Bentley.
Mr. Bentley!
To the bathroom, huh?
You can't fool me, jocko!
Uh, Mr. Bentley,
that's not him.
I beg your pardon?
That's not him.
Oh. Trick or treat.
Get off me, fool.
Are... Are you okay?
Oh, I'm terribly sorry, sir.
We mistook you
for another rabbit.
Another rabbit.
I'm so humiliated.
Oh, look.
Here... Here you go,
Mrs. Jefferson.
Uh, look,
no hard feelings, right?
Well...
Aw, come on.
Have one on the house.
Sit and allow me
to prepare my specialty,
a Bloody Mary.
Mrs. J,
I think we should go.
I can't understand it.
I was sure I saw him
in here just a moment ago.
Well, perhaps you're
just imagining things.
That's what George
and Florence said.
Oh, maybe they were right.
But I could have sworn
I saw a rabbit
with horn-rimmed glasses
and a mustache,
kill somebody.
Here are some scenes
from next week's
concluding episode.
What are you doing here?
You know why I'm here.
Oh, right.
You want some candy.
I'm gonna throw you
off the balcony.
Off the balcony?
It's perfect.
"Crazed housewife
takes suicide plunge."
Now I got
a bullet in here
for each one of you.
If you run short,
somebody else can have mine.
♪ Movin', movin' ♪
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.