The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 6, Episode 2 - A Short Story - full transcript

♪ Well, we're movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To a deluxe apartment
in the sky

♪ Movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up

♪ We finally got
a piece of the pie

♪ Fish don't fry
in the kitchen

♪ Beans don't burn
on the grill

♪ Took a whole lot of tryin'

♪ Just to get up that hill

♪ Now we're up
in the big leagues



♪ Gettin' our turn at bat

♪ As long as we live,
it's you and me, baby

♪ Ain't nothin' wrong
with that

♪ We're movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To a deluxe apartment
in the sky

♪ Movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up

♪ We finally got
a piece of the pie ♪

Hey, Weez!
My stocks went up.

Weez, did you hear me?

Are you listening?

When George Jefferson talks,

nobody listens.



George, look,

Tom Willis' picture
is in the paper!

Where,
on a "Save the Whales" ad?

No, in the business section.

It says Tom Willis
has been promoted

to senior vice-president
of his publishing company.

Mr. Willis is famous!

Any fool can get his
picture in the paper.

No,
I don't see your
picture in there.

Well, I ain't just any fool.

I know.
You're a special one.

Uh, Florence,
could you get the door?

But I'm busy
cutting out these coupons.

Forget the coupons
and get the door!

But they're having
a big sale at the supermarket

and you get half off.

Look, if you don't start
doing some work around here,

you're gonna get
half off your salary.

That's okay.
Half of nothing
still leaves nothing.

Oh, hi, Mr. Willis.
Congratulations.

Thank you, Florence.

Just think, this morning
the whole city is looking
at Tom's picture.

I should have bought
some stock in Alka-Seltzer.

Oh, George,
can't you let Tom have
his moment in the sun?

Yeah, you're right, Weez.

He sure could use some color.

George!

That's all right, Louise.

Maybe we are making
too much of this.

Having your picture in the paper

isn't really that big of a deal.

Oh, you're too modest, Tom.

Oh, please, I...

Hi, Ralph.
Hi, Florence.
Uh, Mr. Willis,

here's that two-dozen
newspapers you ordered.

I thought
I told you to bring
these to my apartment, Ralph.

I did, but you weren't in,

so I thought
maybe you'd be here.

Can you autograph
one of them for me, sir?

Well, uh, yes.
I... I guess I can.

Uh, I'll sign it, uh,
"To my dear friend, Ralph,

"who's opened
many doors for me."

There you are, Ralph.

That's a funny one.

"Who's opened
many doors for me."

That's it, Ralph.

And I have a telegram
for Mr. Jefferson.

Oh.

My pleasure, sir.

Thank you, Ralph.
Here you go.

Mr... Mr. Willis gave me
much more than that, sir.

Well, that's because
there's so much more of him.

Forget it, Ralph.

I'm trying to follow
the President's wage
guidelines.

Which president? Hoover?

A telegram?
I hope it's not bad news.

How bad could it be?
The Willises are already here.

"Dear Mr. Jefferson,
we are happy to announce
that you have been chosen

"The Midtown Small
Businessman of the Year.

"The award will be presented

"at our annual banquet
this Tuesday evening.

"We'll be contacting you.

"Congratulations.
Bob Simmons, President."

Weezy, did you hear?

Oh, George, that's wonderful!

Congratulations, George.

This has been quite
a day for both of us.

It sure has.

I win an award
and you get to
shake my hand.

And just to show you
how generous I am,

I'm inviting all of you
to the awards banquet
to honor me.

And don't worry.

I'll make sure they have
a special dessert for you two.

Oh, what's that?

Ice cream.
Chocolate chip!

Hey, Weez.

Did the guys from the Small
Businessmen's Association
get here yet?

No, but they should
be here any minute.
Good.

Where's Florence?

In the kitchen,

making hors d'oeuvres
for your guests.
What?

I don't want her to kill 'em
before I get my award!

Hello.

Leroy, calm down.

What are you so excited about?

One of the machines
is going crazy

and eating up all the clothes?

Well, look, I can't
come down right now.

I got important guests
coming over.

What? It's eating
the silk sheets?

Well,
feed it polyester
till I get there.

But, George,
you can't leave now.

I got to, Weez,
it's an emergency.

But those people
are coming over here

to get some background
information on you.

Well, just tell them
my life story.

Look, I was born
the son of a sharecropper

and my family was so poor
we ate dirt for breakfast.

And that was only on good days.

Then my father
saved up enough money

and we moved up to the ghetto.

I started my business
with nothing but courage,

determination
and two wire coat hangers.

And all by myself,

I built the Jefferson's Cleaners

into the empire it is today.

Well, here, Emperor,

since you're so good
at talking garbage,

how about throwing some out?

Sure, hop in.

Good one.

You know, George sure
is excited about that award.

Well, you can't blame him.

And you know something?

When Mr. Jefferson
goes up to accept
that award,

nobody will be as happy
for him as I will.

Oh, Florence, that's so nice.

I always knew
you really liked George.

I said I was happy for him.

Liking him is your job.

Hi, we're here
to see Mr. Jefferson.

I'm Bob Simmons and
this is Jack Feldman.

Uh, yes, come in.

Oh, thank you very much.
Thank you. Thank you.

Uh, I'm Louise Jefferson

and this is our
housekeeper, Florence.
Hello.

How do you do?
How do you do?

Uh, is Mr. Jefferson
at home?

I'm afraid not.

He had a problem
at one of his stores
and he had to go fix it.

Well, that's quite all right.

He did what any good
businessman would've done.

It's men like your husband
who keep this country running.

Thank goodness for
the George Jeffersons
of the world.

Oh, Lord, you mean
there's more than one?

Florence,
would you bring
in the refreshments?

Uh, please sit down.
Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

I just wanted to get
a few facts so I can
make a nice speech

when I introduce your husband
as The Small Businessman
of the Year.

Well, since
Mr. Jefferson isn't here,

I guess
we won't be needing this.

What's that?
Oh, a tape measure.

A tape measure?

What were you
going to do with it?

Measure your husband.

Measure him?

Uh, how tall
is Mr. Jefferson?

5'6", but...
Oh, perfect.

Well, perfect for what?
I'm afraid I don't understand.

Let me explain,
Mrs. Jefferson.

The Midtown Small
Businessmen's Association

is made up of businessmen
who are all 5'6" and under.

We're...
We're small businessmen.

Here's some snacks
to munchkin on. I...

I mean,
here's some munchkies to...

Just eat 'em.

Uh, Mr. Simmons,
what made you select George?

Oh, well,

one of our members
was in his store

and noticed
that they were
the same height.

They saw eye to eye.

So, we did some
checking and found out

that Mr. Jefferson
owns seven stores

and is certainly
worthy of our award.

Uh, that's very nice.

Thank you.

This is a very
important organization.

It's about time we short people

came out of the foot locker.

Yes, right.
We short people have
to look out for each other.

Yeah, because
nobody else can see us.

Right.

Uh, will you gentlemen
kindly excuse us for a minute?

I have to show Florence
something in the kitchen.

Florence, did you hear that?

They're not small businessmen,

they're small businessmen!

I wonder what
Mr. Jefferson
is going to say.

He sure ain't expecting this.

Yeah, I hope
he doesn't get too upset.

Well, thanks for your help,
Mrs. Jefferson.

Yes. We're looking forward
to having your husband
as a new member.

You know, we're not
a very big group yet.

Oh, I'm sure you'll grow.

Uh,

I don't mean grow, grow.

I mean grow, grow.

That's all right,
Mrs. Jefferson.

We know we're short.

Short?
Oh, I hadn't
really noticed.

Well, you can't
just stand there
and tell us we're tall.

Maybe you could
sit there and tell us.

You know,
it's nice that your
height don't bother you.

Yes. But it's not
always fun being short.

That's why our organization
is so very important.

Yeah, we have
to make people aware

that everything is built
for the convenience
of tall people.

Kitchen cabinets,
public telephones...

Women.

But there is one
advantage to all this.

Uh, what's that?

It keeps us on our toes!

See you at the banquet,
Mrs. Jefferson.
Yes.

Florence,
how am I going to
break this to George?

How about on
a postcard from Miami?

I'm serious, Florence.
What am I going to do?

I don't know.
You know Mr. Jefferson.

He's got a short temper.

Oh, hi, Tom, Helen.
Come on in.

Hi, Louise. We brought
George some Scotch
to celebrate his award.

Oh, George isn't home yet.

And I don't know
if he's gonna feel
like celebrating.

Why not?
It's a very big honor.

No, it's a little honor.

It seems
that the Midtown Small
Businessmen's Association

is just that.
Just what?

It's an organization
of small businessmen.

All the members are... are...

Shrimps.

They are not.

They're just...
Just not tall.

You mean,
George is getting an award
for being a short businessman?

Uh, yes.
But please don't say anything.

I want to break it to him
gently when we're alone.

Oh, you know, Louise,
it may not be as bad
as you think.

George is still
getting an award.

A very important award.

Maybe so.

But I'm afraid
when he finds out about this,

he's gonna hit the ceiling.

Not unless
he's standing
on a ladder.

What's wrong with her?

Oh, nothing.
She's just happy.

Why? Did she strike
oil in her meatloaf?

Hey, Weez,

those guys from the Small
Businessmen's Association
leave already?

Uh-huh.
It was a short visit.

What did they want
to know about me?

How you measured up.

She means your stature
in the community.
Oh.

I told them
that all your friends
and neighbors look up to you.

I mean, look down.
I mean, they think
you're great.

Oh. Well, Willis,

I guess we know
who the big man is
around here.

Whatever you say, George.

Well,
right now I'm sayin'
why don't you two split?

I gotta get started
on my acceptance speech.

Okay, George.
But, um, don't say anything
that'll go over their heads.

I'm sorry you have
to leave so soon,

but George should
work on his speech.

Well, keep it short.

Yeah.
Don't talk down to them.

What's wrong with them?

Wrong?

I mean, I've heard
of laughing hyenas,

but I never heard
of no laughing zebras!

Well, Weezy, I think
I'll have me a little drink

before I get started
on my speech.

Ah, hey!
Where'd this fifth
of Scotch come from?

Oh, Tom brought it down
to celebrate your award.

Oh, he didn't have to do that.

Yeah. He should have
bought a half-pint.

Uh, Florence,
isn't it dinnertime?

I'm not hungry.

Well, I guess I could
eat a little something.

Uh, George...
Yeah, Weez?

Uh, about that award.

It isn't what you think it is.

It ain't?

No, it's for small businessmen.

Small.

Oh, I know that, Weezy.
I've known that all along.

You have?
Yeah, but look,
don't worry about it.

Next year, I'll have
me 10 stores by then,

and I'll be a big businessman.

Big. Hey, hey.

Uh, George, listen...

What I'm try...
Weez, I can't
wait till tomorrow.

Boy,

if only Mama were alive
so she could be there.

But you'll be there.

The woman who has shared
my life for 28 years.

And I know you're proud of me.

Even though I only
own seven stores, right?

Oh, right.

Dinner's almost ready.

What are we having?
Short ribs.

Louise, where's George?

Oh, he had to
pick up his tuxedo.

He said he'd meet us here.

How did he take the news?

I couldn't tell him.
He was just so...

So happy.

But he has to find out sometime.

Well, all the people here
seem to be
about Mr. Jefferson's size.

Maybe he won't even notice.

Do you really think so?

No.

I gotta tell him.

George.

Hi. Come on, everybody,
let's go.

I don't want to
be late for my award.

Don't worry about it, Willis.

Maybe you'll receive one
of these awards one day.

I doubt it, George.

Me, too!

Uh, George, Jack Feldman,
the vice-president.

I'm honored to meet you,
Mr. Jefferson.

The honor's all mine.

Thank you.

Congratulations.

You really deserve this award.

Yeah, I know.

I mean, thank you very much.

Hey, I bet you Willis
is eating his heart out.

Where is he?
Look...

Hey, Weezy,
Willis looks like
he's standing on a chair.

Max McCarthy.

Oh, we must get together
sometime and talk business.

Sure. What business
are you in?

McCarthy's Mortuaries.

Oh, nice to meet you.

Looks like Florence met a guy.

Oh, isn't that nice?

Maybe she'll get
to take him home.

In her pocket!

You know, Weezy,
something strange
is going on here.

Uh, George,
I should've told you...

Wait a minute.
I know what it is.

You do?
Yeah.

I ain't never seen
this many tall women
in one place before.

Mr. Jefferson,
welcome to our minority.

Oh, thank you.

Is he black?

I couldn't tell.

Hey, brother.

Hi.

I know he ain't black.

What's going on?

Uh, George...

Hi, I'm Bob Simmons,

President of the Midtown Small
Businessmen's Association.

Oh, nice to meet you.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

You know,
you're an inspiration
to all short people.

Thank you.

Short people?

Now I get it.

Small businessmen.

Uh, George,
I was going
to tell you,

but I was afraid
you wouldn't come
to the banquet.

You know,
Mr. Jefferson,

we short people
are proud to honor
one of our own.

Oh, thank you.

I think my wife
deserves all the credit.

Without her,
I wouldn't be here tonight.

Let me show you to your seats.

You must be very excited.

Oh, oh, yeah.
I sure am.

In fact, I'm so excited
I gotta go to the bathroom.

Excuse me.
Excuse me.

Glad you're one of us.

I'm not one of you.
I'm three of you.

George, what are you doing?

What does it
look like I'm doing?

I'm getting
the hell out of here.

But, George,
they want to honor you.

Honor me?

You call making me
midget of the year
an honor?

Mr. Simmons told me
that a lot of important
people have won this award.

Like who?
The Seven Dwarfs?

George, I'm ashamed
of the way you're acting.

Look, Weezy, all my life,

I've been short.

When I was 19,
I was still getting
into movies for under 12.

In school,
they used to pick on me,

and make up
short jokes about me.

"Jefferson is so short,
he can play handball
up against the curb."

Mr. Jefferson,
I've been looking
all over for you.

The award ceremony
is about to start.

Uh, George, please.

Sorry, I'm not waitin'.
No, uh-huh.

George, this group is saying

there's nothing wrong
with being short.

There ain't nothing
right with it, either.

Okay, George,
let's go home.
Good.

But I should have
realized how you'd feel.

I know how embarrassed
you are about your size.

Say what?
It must be terrible

having people making fun
of you all the time.

Hmm. Uh-huh.
Calling you shorty,
shrimp.

Right.
Pee-wee.

Now hold it.
I don't know about pee-wee.

Well, I'm glad I'm not short.

I don't think I could handle it.

What you talkin' about?
Being short ain't that bad.

Oh, George,
short people like you
are so cute when you get mad.

I'm not mad.

Well, you should be.

It must be terrible
not being as good
as everybody else.

What are you talking about?
Us short people are as good
as everybody else!

Then why don't you
accept your award?

Because I'm a little
stupid sometimes.

Sometimes?

It's my privilege
to introduce to you

the Midtown Small
Businessman Of The Year,

George Jefferson!

Thank you.
Thanks.

Thank you very much.

I had a speech,
but I'm not going
to use that one.

When I first found out
what this award was about,

I wasn't real happy,

because I was ashamed
of being short.

But I'm not ashamed anymore.

So what? I'm short.

If it wasn't for
us short people,

the tall people
wouldn't know they were tall.

And we're just as good
as everybody else.

In fact, we're better.

Because we had to struggle more.

I'm short and I'm proud.

And I'll never be ashamed
of being short again.

In fact, I feel
like yelling out, I'm short.

What the hell.

I am short!

Hey, hey, that felt pretty good.

Let's all yell it.
I'm short!

I'm short!

I can't hear you.

I'm short!

One more time.

I'm short!

- Again!
- I'm short!

Let me hear you!

I'm short! I'm short!
I'm short! I'm short!

Oh.

George, I've never
been so proud of you.

We'd like a picture.

Oh, sure.
Weezy, you know,
I learned something today.

What's that?
I mean, I don't
have to be ashamed

of being short or anything else.

I'm perfect just the way I am.

We're ready.

Oh, hold it.

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.