The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 6, Episode 1 - The Announcement - full transcript

♪ Well, we're movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To a deluxe apartment
in the sky

♪ Movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up

♪ We finally got
a piece of the pie

♪ Fish don't fry
in the kitchen

♪ Beans don't burn
on the grill

♪ Took a whole lot of tryin'

♪ Just to get up that hill

♪ Now we're up
in the big leagues



♪ Gettin' our turn at bat

♪ As long as we live,
it's you and me, baby

♪ There ain't nothin' wrong
with that

♪ We're movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To a deluxe apartment
in the sky

♪ Movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up

♪ We finally got
a piece of the pie ♪

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

Florence, would you
get the door?

Yeah, if it wasn't my day off.

Florence...

Miss Jefferson,
if it was your day off



and I asked you
to get the door,
would you do it?

Of course.

Okay, then,
would you get the door?

Oh, hello, Helen, Tom.

Hi, Louise.
You ready for the funeral?

Almost. Come on in.

Did you talk George into going?

Yeah, he's in
putting on his
funeral clothes.

Okay, how's this?

George, you can't
go dressed like that.

I can't?
Well, have fun
at the funeral.

George, don't you have
something that's not so loud?

No, that's
the only mouth he's got.

Ah, look, Weez,
this whole thing
is ridiculous.

Who ever heard
of having a funeral
for some dumb bird?

Mr. Bentley just wants
his parakeet to have
a proper burial.

Then he should
flush it down the toilet.

Then he could call it
a burial at sea!

Hello.

Oh, Mr. Bentley...

Oh, are you all ready to leave?

No.

Well, good,
because I'm not either.

Mr. J, would you happen
to have a black tie
I could borrow?

Why does your tie
have to be black?

Because that's the color
you're supposed to wear
to a funeral, George.

See that, Weezy?
They got you
believing it, too.

They? Who's they?

The honkies
that run this country.
That's who.

How come everything
sad or bad is black?

What?

Yeah, that's right. Blackmail,
blacklist, blackball.

Nothing black
is ever worth anything.

Blackjack was worth $30
when I beat you last night.

George, just because
things are called black

doesn't mean
they're really black.

Oh, hi, everyone.

Oh, yeah, I see what you mean.

Hi, honey, how are you?

I stopped upstairs,
I'm glad I found you here.

I ain't.

Did you want
something special, dear?

Oh, well, uh, no.
I just want
to see you and Mom.

Well, I guess I'd better
go and finish dressing.

Oh, is there something
wrong, Mr. Bentley?

You look like you just
lost your best friend.

No, just my best budgie.

Uh, Mr. Bentley's bird died.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Well, how did it happen?

Oh, you see, I was minding
my girlfriend's cat.

So I put my birdcage
out on the balcony
when I went to sleep

because I know
that she doesn't
like birds.

Not my girlfriend, her cat.

Although my girlfriend
doesn't particularly
like birds either.

Although she and Chester
were getting along just fine.

Anyway, when I awoke
I found an empty birdcage

and some of Chester's
tail feathers
in the cat's mouth.

Oh!

You mean
you're not even burying
a whole bird?

Oh, no. To do that,
I'd have to kill the cat.

Well, I'm gonna kill somebody
if we don't hurry up

and get this dumb
funeral thing over with!

Well, we can go to
the pet cemetery as soon
as I put my white tie on.

A white tie?
Don't you usually wear
black to a funeral?

Oh, no.
That would be racist.

I've never been
to a pet cemetery before.

Oh, no?
Then you ought
to go with us.

Maybe you can locate
some of your relatives.

Huh?

Sure. There's gotta be
some zebras buried out there!

Maybe you could locate
some of your relatives,
George.

I'm sure there are some
jackasses out there, too!

Can you believe
a wife talking
to her husband like that?

If I was your wife,
I wouldn't talk to you at all.

Good, then pretend
you're my wife!

I ain't got
that much imagination.

Uh, Mom, Daddy, would you
like to join me in the kitchen
for a glass of water?

No, thanks, honey.
I'm not thirsty.

Yes, you are.

Uh, well, uh...
Maybe a small glass.

- Jenny, what are you up to?
- Get in there.

Mom, Daddy, sit down.

You know, Lionel and I,
we've been married
for two years now.

And George said
it wouldn't last.

We managed to save
some money and, well,
we've made a big decision.

Jenny, you bought a house!

No. Guess again.

You bought a blouse?

No. I went to
the doctor's today.

Your doctor bought a blouse?

No. I'm pregnant!

You're not.
I am.

You're not.
I am!

Oh, Jenny, you are!

Oh, honey!

Oh, I don't want
to hurt the baby!
I'm sorry.

I mean, I'm sorry.

Oh, Daddy, it's only a baby.

Oh, can you believe it?
A baby!

A baby!
Oh, Louise is going
to be so surprised.

Oh, now, wait a minute, Mama.
We can't tell her yet.

Why not?

Because she'd never
be able to keep it
from Mr. Jefferson.

So?

Well, Lionel feels
that once Mr. Jefferson
finds out about it,

he'll start making jokes,
you know, about the baby
being a "zebra."

That's not true.
George wouldn't be joking.

I know. That's why
Lionel wants to wait a while
before we tell his parents.

Okay, we won't tell
a soul about the baby.

Baby?

Florence!

What baby?

Oh, it must be time
to leave for the funeral.
Let's go, Helen.

What baby?
Baby?

Florence, uh, well,
I... I don't know
what you're talking about.

Neither do I.
But I aim to find out.

Well, all right, Florence.

Lionel and I,
we're gonna have a baby.

You mean a real live baby?
Your own baby?

The kind
with wrinkled skin
and no hair?

Yeah, in seven months!

Have mercy!
Congratulations, Jenny!

Oh, thank you, Florence.

Oh, but, now, listen.
You can't tell anyone.

Not even Mr.
or Mrs. Jefferson.
You promise?

Well, okay, but...

Hey, come on, we gotta
go to this dumb funeral.

Oh, yes, right.

What were you all talking about?

Oh, it's, uh...
It was something
you wouldn't understand.

Why, were you talking Zebrish?

Come on.

Mr. Bentley,
we're ready to begin now.

But the organist won't
be able to make it.

Oh, no. And Chester
was so fond of music.

Sometimes I play
the organ at my church.

Oh, Lord.

Oh, Florence, could you?

Sure.
Is there anything special
you want me to play for you?

Oh, whatever would make
a fitting farewell to Chester.

All right.

Let's see. Something
to say goodbye to a bird...

♪ Bye-bye, blackbird... ♪

♪ Rock of Ages
cleft for me... ♪

Friends of the beloved...

Friends of the beloved,
we are gathered here...

Excuse me, Mr. Winters,
we gotta set up services
for Samson the Super Snake.

The people from
the circus are gonna
be here...

Uh, put the snake
in Chapel C, Hugo.

Yes, sir, Mr. Winters.

Excuse me.

We are gathered here
to mourn Chester Bentley.

And now, to present the eulogy,

is Chester's lifelong
master and companion,
Mr. Harry Bentley.

Hey, Bent!
Shh.

Excuse me.

I see why
they called Samson
"The Super Snake."

He's so long,
he had two zip codes!

My friends, we are gathered here

to bid our final farewell
to Chester's earthly remains.

Earthly remains?
Ain't nothing in there
but his two tail feathers.

I feel like I'm at a funeral
for a feather duster!

As we ponder
this solemn occasion,

we should not think of Chester
as dead, but merely asleep.

Hmm. I got 10 bucks
says he's dead.

George, you're ruining
the whole ceremony.

I know.
I got to get some water.

Although we mourn
Chester's passing,

let us now bow our heads
and take a moment of silence

to reflect upon his birth,
as birth is a joyous event.

Birth is a joyous event.

Oh, Tom, won't it be nice
having a baby around?

Oh, yes. Wouldn't
Thomas be a nice name?

Only If it's a boy.

Florence, guess what?

I think Tom and Helen
are having a baby!

No, they ain't.
Lionel and Jenny are.

Oh.

What?
Uh-oh.

Better play another song.

Florence, heel.

Now, what is this
about Lionel and Jenny
having a baby?

Well, Jenny came over today,
and she told me
and the Willises.

But I ain't supposed
to tell you.

Why not?

Search me.

As we say our farewell
to Chester,

let us never forget
the impact he had
on all of us.

How merrily he would chirp,
bringing music
into all our lives.

How he would always
say, "Thank you"
whenever he was fed.

Oh, yes.
And even though Chester
will no longer be with us,

the memory of this
dear little creature
will live with us forever.

Miss Jefferson,
are you crying 'cause
you're glad, sad, or mad?

All of the above.

Oh, goodness,
I'm glad it was
a closed casket.

Weezy, I don't know
why you're so upset.

You're the one
who always said
you wanted a grandchild.

I know.

But somehow I thought I'd get
the news in a different way.

Not from my maid
in the middle
of a pet funeral!

Lionel and Jenny havin' a baby.

Well, I wonder
how that happened? Huh!

Want me to paint you a picture?

No, but I want you to get
that Jenny on the phone

and tell her to come over here.

I want to see what
she's trying to pull.

Ralph, what do you want?
Your credit card,
Mr. Jefferson.

Credit card? You don't
take cash no more?
No, sir.

I mean, yes, sir.

I mean, no, sir.
I have your credit card.

Where'd you get this?

The cabbie brought it back.
You must've dropped it
when you paid him.

Oh. Oh, thanks, Ralph.

No problem, sir.

Well, actually, it was
a bit of a problem.

I mean, I had to convince
the cabbie that you were
really Mr. Jefferson.

And, of course,
I had to leave
my post downstairs

to bring the card up.

Oh, yeah. Thank you, Ralph.

Thank you, sir.
You know,

it's a good thing
I got your card back.

If it had fallen
in the wrong hands,

no telling how much
it would have cost you, sir.

Uh, I got a feeling
losing the card
would have been cheaper!

Well, there's no answer
at Lionel and Jenny's.
I guess they're not home.

Excuse me, Mrs. Jefferson,
ma'am, but Lionel
and Jenny are here.

Here? In the building?

Well, sir,
not in the building.
They're up on the roof.

On the roof?
What're they doing up there?

Well, they used
to go up there all the time
before they got married.

Hmm. Those were
the good old days.

Yes, sir. The roof was
very special to them.

Oh, yeah.
Well, I got something
very special for you.

Go tell those two
I want to see them
right away!

Yes, sir. Right away, sir.

You know,
I'm really ashamed of Lionel.

I don't believe he'd let
that dumb wife of his

keep him from telling
his own parents!

Yeah, Lionel knows
how long I've been waiting
for a grandchild.

Why, on my next birthday,
I'll be...

George, wait a minute.
That's it!

What's it?

They are waiting
to tell me on my birthday.

Weezy, the baby
could be born by then.

My birthday is next week.

Oh, right,
I just wanted to see
if you remembered

Oh, what a wonderful
birthday surprise!

Oh, Louise, I feel terrible.

Me, too.

Florence told us that
you found out about
Lionel and Jenny's baby.

Oh, don't you worry
about it, Helen.

I know why they were
trying to keep it from me.

You do?
Yeah.

Yeah,
they wanted to make it
my birthday present.

Birthday present?

Oh, come on, you two.

I know that Lionel and Jenny
are waiting until next week

to tell me on my birthday.

They are?

That's right.

They are!

You two should
never try to put
nothing over on us.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Is everything okay?
Okay?

Next week is going to be
the best birthday of my life!

Why? Is Mr. Jefferson
going out of town?

No, Florence. Lionel
and Jenny didn't tell
Louise about the baby

because they wanted to wait
until Louise's birthday.

But in the cab you told me
that Jenny didn't want
Miss Jefferson to know

cause she might
tell Mr. Jefferson and...

I just remembered something
I gotta do in my bedroom.

What's that?
Stay there.

See that, Weezy?

I told you it wasn't
your birthday. Jenny just
didn't want us to know.

Oh, good.
You're all here.

I'd like to introduce you
to my new parakeet, Hector.

Um...

Nice to meet you.

Uh, of course it'll be
a while before Hector
can talk as well as Chester.

But I'm already
teaching him
to say "Hello."

Oh, yeah? Why don't
you teach yourself
to say "Good-bye"?

Good-bye.

Oh, hello, everyone.

Well, look at this.

This is better
than a talking bird.
A talking zebra!

Uh, Ralph said,
you wanted to see us.

You're damn right
I want to see you.

What the hell do you think
you're doing?

Standing here.
Liar!

I know my son shouldn't
have married no zebra.

It was just
a matter of time before
you showed your true colors!

Hey, Pop!
No, you stay out of this,
Lionel. I'll get to you later.

Oh, you can
get to him right now.

Lionel, I'm going
back up on the roof.

Damn, Pop.

Hold It!
I want an explanation,
and I want it now!

An explanation for what?

Lionel...
Let me handle this, Weezy.

How come you didn't
tell me and your mother
that you was pregnant?

George, I believe Jenny's
the one who's pregnant.

How did you find out about it?

It don't matter how I found out.

What matters is
you didn't tell me.

Well, I was gonna tell you.
I was just waiting
till right time.

Oh, yeah. And when is
the right time? When
Jenny gives you permission?

George!

Look, Pop, it wasn't
Jenny's idea not to tell you.
It was mine.

Yours?

That's right.
And the reason why
I didn't want you to know

is because of the way
you're acting right now!
How...

"I knew my son shouldn't
have married a zebra.

"It was only
a matter of time before
you showed your true colors!"

Yeah, but Lionel, look...
No, no. You look, Pop.

See, with Jenny pregnant,
the last thing I want
is you upsetting her

with a lot of comments
about a mixed-up,
zebra-striped baby.

Did the doctor say the baby
was gonna have stripes?

Pop, Pop, you're impossible.

Did I say something wrong?

Every time
you open your mouth
you say something wrong.

They actually think
that I would make remarks
about a cute little baby!

Can you believe that?

Can you believe it?

Well, I don't believe it.

Pop really makes
me mad sometimes.

Hmm, you're lucky.

Oh, he makes me mad
all the time.

Yeah.

♪ On the roof,
it's peaceful as can be

♪ Up here, the world below
don't bother me ♪

Pop, what're you doing up here?

Well, son, when, uh,

I come home
feeling tired and beat,

I just go up where
the air is fresh and sweet.

Pop, Pop, we're not in the mood.

Lionel, look.

Is it okay if I talk to Jenny?

Yeah, all right.

But promise
you won't say anything
to upset her?

Why would I do that?
You know, I've been
asking myself that for years.

Hey.

Uh, nice night, huh?

Yeah.

It's a little cool, though.

Yeah.

Uh... Jenny,

I want to say something to you.

Yes?

Nice night, huh?

Now, listen, Mr...
No, no, no, you listen.
Now, look.

I'm gonna tell you
I like you whether
you like it or not!

You like me?

Sure, I do.

Well, you know.

Of all the girls
Lionel ever brought home,

you were my favorite.

I was?
Sure.

Of course,
you're the only girl
Lionel ever brought home.

No, um...

No, what I'm trying to say is,

I'm very happy
that Lionel married you.

But you would be happier
if I were 100% black.

Well, sure. I mean, no.
I mean...

Look, it doesn't matter to me
that you're part white.

Nobody can tell.

Well, what
about your grandchild?

What if it turns
out to be white?
Watch your mouth!

No, I mean, that's okay.

And besides,
there's no chance of that.

Is there?

Well, we'll find out
in seven months.

Right.

Well, all I want to say is,

until that time, I want you
to take real good
care of yourself and, uh,

you know, if there's
anything you and Lionel need,

I want you to come to me.
Understand?

Thank you, Mr. Jefferson.
Oh! That's another thing.

It's about time you stopped
calling me, "Mr. Jefferson."

You want me to call you, "Dad"?

"Dad!" No.

I was gonna tell you
to call me "George."

Oh!

Okay, George.

Uh, listen. There's something
I want to say to you, too.

I know we don't always
agree and...

But, you know, deep down,
I really do admire you.

You do?

Well, some of the things
I like most about Lionel

are things I'm sure
he gets from you.

Things, like drive,

determination...
Brains...

Well, there are
some things that he gets
from Mrs. Jefferson.

Oh, yeah, that's right.
Lionel is a pretty good cook.

What I want to say is that

you're
a pretty good father-in-law.

And I think that
you're going to make
a wonderful grandfather.

You think so?

Yeah.

Thanks, Jenny.

Oh!

Oh, I'm so glad
we had this talk.

Yeah, so am I.
Oh! But, look. We got
to keep it to ourselves.

If your folks find out
I like you, they might
think I like them, too!

Are you through
talking yet, Pop?

Yeah, I think so.

Why?

Oh, 'cause there's
some other people out here
who want to talk to Jenny.

Oh, Jenny!

I can't tell you how happy I am!

Oh!
Easy, Weez,
you're crushing my grandson!

Grandson?
How do you know
it isn't a girl?

Well, whatever it is,
let it breathe.

Oh, I'm sorry, Jenny.

It's just that I'm so excited.

We all are.

Ain't nothing to
be excited about. Babies
are born every day. Uh...

George, what are you doing?
I've got
an announcement to make.

Hey, New York,

George Jefferson's
gonna be a grandfather.

♪ Movin', movin' on up ♪