The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 6, Episode 15 - The Arrival: Part 1 - full transcript

♪ Well, we're movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To a deluxe apartment
in the sky

♪ Movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up

♪ We finally got
a piece of the pie

♪ Fish don't fry
in the kitchen

♪ Beans don't burn
on the grill

♪ Took a whole lot of tryin'

♪ Just to get up that hill

♪ Now we're up
in the big leagues



♪ Gettin' our turn at bat

♪ As long as we live,
it's you and me, baby

♪ There ain't nothin' wrong
with that

♪ We're movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To a deluxe apartment
in the sky

♪ Movin' on up
♪ Movin' on up

♪ To the East Side
♪ Movin' on up

♪ We finally got
a piece of the pie ♪

Oh, Florence, look.

I'm almost finished
with these baby booties.

Baby booties?

I thought those were
Mr. Jefferson's
house slippers.

You know, it's hard to believe



that in a couple weeks

I'm gonna be a grandmother.

Yeah, and I'm gonna
be a grand maid.

Uh, Florence,
do you think I look

old enough to be a grandmother?

You want the truth or a lie?

I'll take the lie.

Mrs. Jefferson,
you hardly look old enough

to be that baby's mother.

Oh, why, thank you, Florence!

But how come you told the truth?

Hey, Weez,
look at all this great stuff

I got for our grandson.

George, we don't even know
if the baby's gonna be a boy.

Oh, yeah, that's right, Weez.

Well, even if he's a girl,
I'll still love him.

Why would a little baby
need all these things?

Well, you can use this
long stick for carrying
his dirty diapers.

And you can
wear this face mask
so you don't scare him.

You know, it's gonna be great

having a baby around the house.

Yeah, watching him grow up,

gettin' married,

own a business, have a kid,

expand the business
to a lot of stores,

get rich, have a grandchild.

George, you just
told us your life story.

No wonder it sounded so good!

Mmm.

Well, Miss Jefferson,
I just wanted to remind you

that my gospel singing group
is coming over to practice.

Over my dead body.

I hope they get here soon.

Well,
I wish I could
be here to listen,

but Helen and I
have a meeting
at the Help Center.

Weez, you gonna leave me here

all alone with them?
That's torture.

I know.
But they'll just
have to put up with you.

It's Lionel and Jenny!

Hey, you're right!

Well, look, Weez,
don't leave 'em out
in the hallway too long.

I don't want my grandson
to catch a chill.

Oh, hi, everybody!

How you doing?

Yeah, I was dropping
Jenny off at her parents',

but we wanted to
stop by and say hello.

Oh, Jenny,
you're looking
prettier every day.

Oh, that's because
there's a lot more
of me to look at.

Well, don't worry, child.
Pretty soon you'll be on
nature's fastest diet.

Here, Jenny.
Let me help you
sit down.

Okay.

Easy.

You know,
there's one thing
I hate about sitting down.

What's that?

Standing up again.

How are you feeling?

Oh, pretty good.

You know, it's hard to believe

there's someone alive
inside of me.

I wonder
what the baby's thinking.
I wonder what it's doing.

Probably looking
for a light switch.

Oh, boy, she's really
moving around.

She?
How do you know it's a girl?

I just got a feeling.

Yeah, well, change the feeling.

George!

Oh, candy!

I'll get it for you.

I don't want you
to squeeze the baby.

George, Jenny could do it.

Look, Weez,
I don't want her
to strain herself.

You never say that to me.

You don't know
how to strain yourself.

Ah, Jenny's not
straining herself,
Pop.

I make her run six miles a day,

just to keep her in shape.

What?

Oh, he's kidding.

But I do get a lot of
exercise in my Lamaze
child birth class.

Lamaze child birth class?

I don't even see
why you gotta go to school
to learn how to have a baby.

My mother didn't have
to go through none of that

and look at me.

Child, you better study hard.

No, Mr. Jefferson,

I have learned a lot in Lamaze.

Yeah, and it'll come
in handy when we get
in that delivery room.

We? You gonna be
in that delivery room, too?

Well, where else should I be?

Where you belong, in a bar!

But don't you see, Pop?

This way
we both participate
in the birth of our child.

I think you already
did your part, Lionel.

Oh, Florence.

Are there any pickles
in the kitchen?

Yeah, I think so.

And some potato chips
and turkey and cheese
and bacon?

Yeah.

Great.
You got a blender?

Lord!

Lionel,
I think it's great
the way you're taking

such a big part
in the baby's birth.

Yeah, I'm just sorry
I can't take Jenny
to class tonight.

Oh, why can't you?

'Cause I've got
this job interview,

so Jenny's dad
is gonna take her.

You mean you're
applying for a new job?

Yeah, it's a better job
and more money.

Well, all right!

Oh, and with the baby coming,
it's the perfect time!
Yeah.

Weezy, whenever
you make more money,
it's the perfect time.

Yeah, well,
I don't have the job yet.

Look, Lionel,
you gonna get the job,

I'm gonna give you some tips.

Pop...
Lionel, it's a tough
world out there!

And if you wanna make it,
you gotta be sharp,
smart and clever.

Or do like your father did.

Right!
Fake it.

Okay, just pretend
I'm the Personnel Manager

and you come in
to see me.
Okay.

Okay, what's the first thing
you say to me?
Hi, Pop!

What?

Listen to me, Lionel.
Look, you gotta butter
these people up, okay?

Now, suppose
the Personnel Manager

is a big, gigantic
fat dude, right?

But he's got on
a brand new suit.
Okay?

What would you say to him?

Uh...

"Hey, I like that material.

"Bet it comes cheaper
by the acre."

No! No, look.
This is serious.

No. You'd say to him,

"Hey, I like your suit.
It's just like the one

"Paul Newman wore
in his last movie.

"Are you related?"

See what I mean?

Yeah. You want me to
treat people like idiots.

Right.

Okay, now,
if the Personnel Manager
is a woman, you'd say,

"Hello, lovely.
Hey, you look familiar.

"Weren't you voted
Miss Universe 1977?

"Oh, no?
Well, you should have
been, fine as you is."

You know?

"Betcha all the guys
would like to, uh...

"Work for you."

Well, look, thanks
for all the advice, Pop,
but I gotta get going.

The guy I'm supposed
to see is going back
to Boston tonight.

Boston? What...

Yeah, uh,
I didn't know
how to tell you this,

but that's where the job is.

Boston?

But, Lionel, what do you
wanna go to Boston for?
Ain't nothing up there.

All they got
is the Liberty Bell
and a bunch of beans.

The Liberty Bell's
not in Boston.

See?
They ain't even got that!

Pop, it's a good job.

Okay, yeah, yeah.

Look, Lionel, about the advice
I gave you before, forget it.

If the guy interviewing you
is fat, just say,

"Hi, fatso.
I hope my office
ain't under yours."

Oh, George, stop it!

Oh, he's your son.
I ain't got nothing
to do with it.

Lionel, you're not really
going to move away, are you?

Hey, don't worry about it.

I probably won't
get the job anyway.

Wasn't that good, Florence?

Yeah, I kind of liked it.

Especially the pickles.

I wonder if I could be...

Nah, impossible.

Look, I gotta get going,
or I'll be late.

Bye, babe!
Bye, honey.

Mom, Dad, wish me luck!

Good luck.

What's the matter with you two?

Lionel told us
about the Boston job.

You don't wanna
move up there, do you?

Well, it's a better job,

and it's a good
opportunity for Lionel.

Who asked you?

Oh, I'll get it.

It's probably
my gospel singing group.

Oh, no.
When it rains, it pours.

Hi, girls.

Hi.

Mr. and Mrs. Jefferson,
Jenny,

I want you to meet
Mary, Alice and Pearl.

Hi!
Hi.

Oh, you're having a baby!

Well, she ain't
hiding a pumpkin!

Ooh, you're gonna
have a little girl.

Well, how do you know?

'Cause of the way
she's carrying it,
up high.

Babies carried
up high means girls.

She don't know
what she's talking about.

That's the stupidest thing
I ever heard in my life.

No, no, babies carried
up high means boys.

Now, she knows
what she's talking about.

She's gonna have a girl.

Look at the way
her hair is shining.

Have you been eating
a lot of pork meat?

Pork meat means boys.

No kidding?

Weez, we got any
ham in the kitchen?

Oh, Mrs. Jefferson,
is it okay if we sing
in the kitchen?

Sure, Florence.

Oh, would you give us
a little sample, Florence?

Oh, sure, you wanna sing
something for 'em girls?
Yeah.

Oh, Lord.
Let me get me a drink.

Okay, let's warm up.

Well, sounds like we're in tune.

Sounds like you're in pain.

Let's sing,
You Won't Be
Welcome In Heaven.

One, two...

♪ You won't be
welcome in heaven

♪ With a bottle in your hand

♪ No, Lordy

♪ God don't have
no liquor stores

♪ In that promised land

♪ No, Lordy
♪ Put down that Scotch,
don't drink it

♪ Put down that gin,
don't drink it

♪ If you keep drinking
that devil's brew

♪ Saint Peter won't let you in

♪ No, Lordy ♪

That was great!

Wonderful!

Singing sure does
make me hungry.

Looks like she's been
doing a lot of singing.

There's a lot of food
in the kitchen.

Thank you.
I guess I could eat
a little something.

Next to her,
everything's
a little something.

George, why are you so nasty?

'Cause it's fun.

Oh, hi, Helen, Tom.

Hi, Louise.

Can I borrow some cold medicine?

Oh, Daddy, are you all right?

Jenny!
I didn't know
you were here.

Wait a minute.

It's the Lone Honkey!

Tom came home
with a terrible cold.

Jenny, you better not
get too close to him.

Yeah, that's right.
I don't want little
George Jefferson

to come out sneezing.

What do you mean
"George," George?

He's already got your last name.

I want him named after me.

Forget it, Willis.
I want him named after me.

George,
aren't you forgetting
about Lionel and Jenny?

They already got names.

Oh, Jenny, I'm sorry,
but I better not take
you to your Lamaze class.

Oh, that's all right.
I understand.

Helen, we can cancel
the Help Center
and go with Jenny.

Oh, no, really, I can go myself.

No, somebody should take you.

But who?

Man, I sure am tired.

George,
you have to take
Jenny to her class.

I ain't going
to no Lamaze class.

Ain't nothing down there
but a bunch of pregnant
men and women.

George, you're the only one
who can go.

Nothing's gonna make me go.

Let's go.

That's it, ladies.
Stay loose.

Coaches, make sure
they're properly relaxed.

How am I doing?

Well,
you look just as
silly as everybody else.

Thanks for coming here
tonight, Mr. Jefferson.

I know you really
didn't want to.

What makes you say that?

The way you kept
telling the cab driver,

"I wanna go home."

Okay, class, and relax.

Now, let's all take
one deep breath
in through our noses.

And let it out slowly,
the way we practiced,
from the chest.

All aboard!

Okay, ladies,
down on our backs for
our relaxation exercises.

Coaches, kneel down beside them.

As long as I'm kneeling,

I might as well pray for a boy.

All right,
let's start the exercise.

What am I supposed to do?

Well,
you've gotta help me
get rid of any tension.

Oh, well, that's easy.

Just don't think
about your parents.

No, I mean by touching.

See, you just put
your hand on my leg,
and I'm supposed to relax it.

Huh. But I don't
wanna hurt the baby.

What, by touching my leg?

Well, you said
he moves all around.

Okay, here it goes.

What you laughing at?

I can't help it.
Every time my husband
touches me, I start giggling.

They have nine kids.

I'm surprised she ain't
died from laughing.

Okay, let's try the other leg.

They must have been
a riot on their honeymoon.

Mr. Jefferson,
the way you're helping,

you'd never know it was
your first time here.

Thanks!
Can I go home now?

We're not finished yet.

Oh, he... he's just
feeling a little out of place.

Oh, well, don't worry.
So do I.

I'm the only woman here
who can look down
and see her toes.

Okay, class, we've done
enough exercises for tonight.

We're now gonna see a film.

Oh, boy! Hmm.

Oh, I think
it's the childbirth film.

What?

You don't have to see it
if you don't want to.
Good.

Yeah,
it might make
you uncomfortable.

Well,
you may not be
able to handle it.

What?
Look, I was in the Navy.

How bad can a film be?

The miracle of birth.

It all happens here,
in the delivery room.

On hand
to assist the mother
with her delivery,

are the doctor,
the nurses and her husband,

who acts as her coach.

Oh, I can handle this.

As you can see,

the process of childbirth
has now begun.

Oh, my God.

Notice how the mother
is helping the baby along
by pushing.

Observe that
the Lamaze method
helps reduce the pain.

The mother is continuing
to push to help the baby
emerge into the outside world.

This ain't for you.

You can see
that the baby's head
is becoming visible.

Say what?
Oh, did you see that?

Now the camera moves in closer.

No, I can't take
no more of this!

Mr. Jefferson,
aren't you enjoying the film?

Oh, yeah, but see,
I'm far-sighted,

and I gotta stand
far back so I can see it.

Well, let me help you
find a place.

Where would you like to stand?

Uh, how about Brazil?

♪ He woke me up this morning
and started me on my way

♪ He's the joy
of my salvation

♪ Yes, he is

♪ Yes, he is ♪

Hi! We're early.

Wait till you see
what we got for the baby.

We saw it in
the store window
on the way home.

Isn't it precious?

Yeah,
it's just like
my first husband.

Big, fat and hairy!

You know,
I wonder if Lionel's
gonna get that job in Boston.

Well, if he does,
it'll probably be
for the best,

and we should be happy for him.

Do you really feel that way?

Not for a minute.

Oh, hi, Mr. Bentley.

Hello, Mrs. J,
and Mrs. Willis,

and Florence, and, um...

Oh, Mr. Bentley, this is
my gospel singing group.

This is Pearl, Alice, and Mary.

Hi.
Hello.

Hello.
What can I do
for you, Mr. Bentley?

Oh, I need to borrow
a pair of pantyhose.

Pantyhose?

Uh, yes, I'm doing some
painting in my apartment.

But don't most men
wear overalls?

Oh, no, no.
I need to strain some old,
lumpy paint through them.

Old and lumpy.
Now that reminds me
of my second husband.

Oh, I think I've
got some old pantyhose,
Mr. Bentley. I'll go look.

Oh, thank you, Florence.

Say where's Mr. J tonight?

Oh, he took Jenny
to her Lamaze class.

Ah, it won't be long

before you have
your own little
grandchild.

Yeah.

Praise the Lord!

It's so exciting!
That's true.

Say it again!

Oh, the arrival of a child
is the most blessed event.

Amen to that!

It's a gift from God!

Talk that talk!

The most glorious
of all his achievements!

Amen to that!

A baby is a living,
breathing miracle!

Glory be!

A baby is the hope of the world!

Say it again!

All babies, innocent!
Amen!

I say unspoiled!

A baby is pure!

Say it again!
Hallelujah!

We pretty much get the idea.

Yeah, sorry.

Excuse me, Mrs. J.
I may have gotten
a bit carried away.

Amen to that.

I'm sorry, but you see,
I've often thought of
having a son of my own.

Oh, we'd play catch,
I'd take him fishing,

teach him how to
drive a stick-shift.

I'd be the sort of father
a boy could look up to.

Here's your pantyhose,
Mr. Bentley.

Thank you.

Now, who can that be?

Well, why don't you
get the door and find out?

I'm not that curious.

Hi.

Well, Lionel,
how did the interview go?

Hey, that's a great-looking
outfit you got there, Mom.

You got the job.

They offered it to me.

A new job.

Oh, Lionel, congratulations.

That's wonderful news.

I mean,
I'm so sorry
to hear about it.

I mean...

I don't know what I mean.

You see, Mr. Bentley,
the job is in Boston.

Boston?
Oh, that's quite a commute.

Did you take it?

Not yet,
but I think I will. Yeah.

Oh, Lionel, I'm happy for you.

Oh, come on, Mom.
Boston's not that
far away.

Oh, you're right, Lionel.

Don't worry, everything is fine.

So you'll move away,
we'll still see the baby.

I'm happy, really.

Well, what should we sing next?

Cry Me A River.

Are you feeling better now,
Mr. Jefferson?

Oh, yeah, thanks.

It was a great movie.

Only thing missing
was the popcorn.

Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Look, when Jenny
comes out of the ladies' room,
would you turn out the lights?

Oh, sure.
Thank you.

Oh! While you're waiting,
you could take a look at this.

Oh, thanks.
What is it?

The Picture Book of Childbirth.

Good night.
Good night.

Oh!

Mr. Jefferson,
I think it's time.

Finally.
This class was
longer than I thought.

No, it's time for the baby.

The baby?

That's right.
I'm in labor.

Labor? You can't be!

I am.
But you can't be!

I am!
You are?

Yes!
You can't be!

Okay, don't prove it!

What should we do?

Calm down.

I'm calm, I'm calm.

Help!

Uh, go... go see
if you can get
Mrs. Perkins.

Oh, yeah, right. Uh...

Hey, wait! Mrs. Perkins!
Mrs. Perkins!

Don't drive away!
Don't drive away!

You drove away!

That's all right.

All we have to do
is... is get to the hospital.

Okay, I'll call a taxi.
Where's the phone?

I don't know!

Help!

Mr. Jefferson,
nobody can hear you!

Yeah, you're right.
Okay, look, look, look,
just calm down, okay?

Are you calm?
I'm calm.

How can you be
calm at a time like this?

Hey, what's goin' on in here?

We're having a baby!

Congratulations.

Now,
if you don't mind,
I gotta clean up.

I mean, we're having a baby now!

You gotta help us.

All right.
I'll take care of this.

Just sit down.

I'm already sitting!

Now what?

I was hoping you'd know.

Okay, okay. I'll get some
clean towels and hot water.

Great! Okay, what do
we do with that stuff?

I was hoping you'd know.

Oh, no!

Okay,
was that groan louder
than the one before?

Yes!
Well, don't do that!

Look, we gotta
get her to a hospital
and I don't have my car.

Right, I'll get my van!

Okay.

Where is my van?

Don't worry, I'll find it.
Meet me out front.

Okay.

Lady, whatever you do,
don't sneeze.

Okay, uh, Jenny,

you gotta take it easy,

and I gotta take it easy
and everything will be fine

when we get you to the hospital.

There may not
be time for the hospital.

Help!

Help!

♪ Movin', movin' on up ♪