The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 5, Episode 14 - Louise's Reunion - full transcript
When Louise finds out about a new clause in George's will, she almost gives him cause to use it.
♪ Well, we're movin' on up ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the east side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To a deluxe apartment
in the sky ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the east side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ We finally got a piece
of the pie ♪
♪ Fish don't fry
in the kitchen ♪
♪ Beans don't burn
on the grill ♪
♪ Took a whole lotta tryin'
just to get up that hill ♪
♪ Now we're up
in the big leagues ♪
♪ Gettin' our turn at bat ♪
♪ As long as we live
it's you and me, baby ♪
♪ There ain't nothin'
wrong with that ♪
♪ Well, we're movin' on up ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the east side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To a deluxe apartment
in the sky ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the east side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ We finally got a piece ♪
♪ Of the pie ♪♪
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
How about it, Florence?
Oh, Lena Horne,
eat your heart out.
Mrs. Jefferson,
you gonna be the belle
of your reunion,
just like you were the belle
of your senior class.
Some belle. I went
through high school without
ringing anybody's chimes.
Well, I know what
you mean, child.
'Cause when I was in
high school, the only bell
I heard was the tardy bell...
and the going-home bell.
Well, hello, Florence.
May I use your top?
I beg your pardon?
I mean your stove top.
Mine isn't working.
Oh, sure. Come on in.
Oh, thank you.
Did you call the gas company
about it, Mr. Bentley?
Yes, I did,
and they're treating it
like a rush job.
They're sending a man
over next week.
I say, what a smashing dress.
Oh, why, thank you.
I'm going to
my high school reunion.
Oh, really?
I went to a reunion once.
Didn't recognize a soul.
Everyone changed that much, huh?
Uh, no, I was
at the wrong reunion.
I think the stove is waiting
for you, Mr. Bentley.
You got everything?
Oh, I think so.
I'm just going to fix
some resoles.
Resoles?
What's resoles?
Oh, they're sort
of English meatballs.
You just dip them in egg
and bread crumb and fry them.
I'm gonna serve mine
with collard greens
and black-eyed peas...
and call them
Bentley's resole food.
Bentley's resole food.
You know, when
Mr. Bentley was a kid,
he sure must have inhaled
a lot of that London fog.
You know, I'm beginning
to have second thoughts
about going to that reunion.
Why? According to your yearbook,
you were pretty popular
in high school.
- What makes you say that?
- 'Cause you were the president
of the Camera Club.
I was the only one
who had a camera.
Here's a picture of you
in the Glee Club.
I was the only one
who could sing bass.
Oh, Mrs. J., I just realized
that I said resoles
were English meatballs.
I didn't mean you had to
make them with English meat.
American meat
is quite good enough.
I mean, just in case
you thought that I...
Right.
Oh, look out! Who is this
supercharged superman?
Oh, that's Bo Morrison.
He was captain
of the football team.
Mmm. Now there's a real mound
of American meat.
I wouldn't mind
making resoles with him.
He was also president
of the senior class.
All the girls in school
had a crush on Bo.
Including you?
Of course.
But I never had
a chance with him.
What you mean? He even wrote
a poem in your book.
Bo wrote a poem
in every girl's book.
But in this picture, you're
standing right next to him
in the cafeteria line.
Now, that was my lucky day.
Bo lost his wallet,
and he let me pay
for his sloppy joe sandwich.
Hey, Weezy.
Hi, George.
Are you ready for the big night?
We are going to dance
until daylight!
Hey! All right!
How 'bout that?
A tiny turkey trying
to be a disco duck.
- Ain't you got something
better to do?
- I must have.
Anything's better
than watching you.
George, I think you're
more excited about going
to my reunion than I am.
Why not? I can't wait
to show them old classmates
of yours...
that Louise Mills
batted 1.000
in the marriage department.
And just to show them
how lucky you really are,
I bought you this.
Shoom!
Oh, a mink jacket!
Oh, George, it's beautiful.
But don't you think
it's a little warm
to wear a mink jacket?
Why? Minks wear 'em
all year round. Hey!
You know, it's hard to fight
that kind of logic.
Hey, Weezy, maybe
the band will play
our song tonight, huh?
Your song? You mean the theme
from The Beauty and the Beast?
"Mona Lisa," dummy.
Remember, Weez?
♪ Mona Lisa ♪
♪ Mona Lisa ♪
♪ Men have named you ♪
♪ You're so like the lady
with the mystic smile ♪♪
Yeah.
"Mona Lisa" was playing
the first time we kissed.
Ah. Mmm!
What's that smell?
- It's Mr. Bentley.
- No, he smells better
than that.
His stove isn't working,
so he's cooking
in our kitchen.
Oh, cooking? Mmm!
Hey, hey, you and me
gonna be cooking tonight,
huh, Weez?
You know something, Weezy?
You're lucky I didn't
finish high school.
Why is that?
'Cause if I had
a class reunion,
all the girls would be
wanting to dance with me,
and you'd have to wait in line.
Because I mean,
I was really popular.
- Shoot. You wasn't as popular
as Mrs. Jefferson.
- Say what?
When Mrs. Jefferson
was in high school,
all the boys was chasing her.
They were?
Yeah.
Look at this.
Look at this.
Florence!
Hey, Weezy, what made
you take a picture
with that jive turkey?
'Cause he was the captain of
the football team. And he had
a big crush on Mrs. Jefferson.
Now, Florence,
you know that's not...
Listen to this poem
he wrote in her book.
"Until the time we meet again,
I hope you'll always
be my friend."
Big deal!
What about all the poems
I sent you when I was
in the navy?
Oh, yes. I'll never forget
the romantic one you
sent me from Korea.
"Roses are red.
Violets are nice.
Man, am I sick
of eating rice."
Oh, you little
sweet talker, you.
Well, at least Weezy
made the right choice when
she picked me over this clown.
Right choice? She passed up
a Billy Dee Williams
for a Rodney Allen Rippy.
Well, if I'm going to
my cousin's for dinner, I guess
I better get moving fast.
Where's my camera? If she's
gonna be moving fast, I wanna
get a picture of that!
Get that, Florence.
I'm not going in that direction.
I'll get it.
How come whenever there's work
around, she's always going
in the opposite direction?
Oh, hello, Ralph.
I just stopped up to deliver
your mail, Mrs. Jefferson.
You're the doorman.
Why do you wanna be
the mailman too?
It's just one of my many
little extra services that I do,
which I don't have to do,
but I like to do
for the fine tenants
in this building...
who have proven themselves
wonderfully generous.
Ah.
Man, Ralph, you know,
you're the only person
I know...
that turns every day
into Christmas.
Well, ho-ho-ho.
Well, no, no, no.
- George.
- Oh, here.
Thank you, sir.
But, sir...
Yeah, "But, sir" what?
Well, sir, you'll notice
the post office has raised
the price of delivery.
Yeah, I know.
And I was wondering,
in view of...
the general inflationary
pressure, that you, too,
would increase
my usual gratuity
accordingly?
- Uh, what?
- Ralph wants
a cost-of-living increase.
Oh, okay, sure,
I'll give you one.
Thank you, sir.
As soon as I get my cost
of tipping increase.
That's very funny, sir.
By the way, sir,
I was looking
through your copy
of New York magazine.
There's a very interesting
article in there
I think you'll enjoy.
It's called,
"How Smart New Yorkers
Save Money."
I know how they do that.
They move into a building
that ain't got no doorman.
♪♪
Hey, great.
This is from my lawyer.
Oh, what's that, George?
Just my will.
I changed it a little.
Changed? What was wrong
with your old will?
Well, my bankbook has
got more pages, so I had
to add pages to my will.
Florence, wanna witness
my signature?
Sure. If it's on
a check to me.
Here, sign this.
I ain't signing no piece of
paper I ain't never seen before.
Sign!
Last time I did that, I wound
up with a year's subscription
to Better Homes And Gardens.
And I didn't even have a garden.
You ain't gonna have no home
if you don't sign.
Well, what is it?
Look, you can bet your life
nothing in here
concerns you. It's my will.
Your will?
Oh, I'll sign to that.
What changes have you made
in your will, George?
Oh, nothing important.
I'm leaving now. I hope
you have a nice time
at your reunion.
She'll be dancing with me,
won't she?
Well, try to have
a nice time anyway.
I need one more
person to sign this.
I'll sign it.
No, you can't do that.
You're the beneficiary.
I'm leaving all my dough to you.
Then you haven't
changed it at all.
No, not much.
I'm afraid my back's
gone out again.
Bentley! Great.
Just what I need.
You need your back to go out?
Nope. You're in the perfect
position to sign this.
George, Mr. Bentley's hurt.
How did you do it this time?
Oh, I spilled some salt
on the floor,
and I bent down to throw
it over my shoulder
for good luck.
Just sign here.
It's my will.
I'll gladly lend you
my hand, Mr. J.,
if you'll lend me your feet.
I gotta save my feet
for dancing tonight.
Oh, please, Mr. J.!
Okay, lay down.
Oh, you're a top.
Yeah, all my friends
say I'm that.
George, what does
this mean?
What?
"To my wife, Louise, I leave
all my earthly possessions"...
That means when I go,
you got it.
No, not that part.
This part:
"on the condition
that she never remarries."
Oh. That's just
a little something I asked
my lawyer to throw in.
Then you can just tell him
to throw it out.
What do you mean by that?
I mean, you have no right
to put that in the will.
I got every right.
It's my will.
This isn't a will.
It's a won't!
Ahem, Mr. J.
Oh, okay.
I'll be right there, Bentley.
Look, Weezy, why would you
wanna remarry anyway?
Let's face it. You already
have heaven on earth.
George, it's not
that I want to remarry.
There's no one in this
whole world for me but you.
That's true.
But it's not right for you
to order me around like this!
I'm not ordering you around!
I'm protecting you!
Protecting me?
That's right. There's a whole
lot of shifty dudes out there
just waiting to grab some widow.
Oh, George, give me
a little credit.
Look, Weezy, you can have
all the credit you want.
It's the cash I'm worried about.
What?
Look, Weezy.
I don't want nobody
winding up in my bed
with my bread.
Maybe I should come back later.
It's okay!
George, I insist that
you take that clause
out of the will!
Weezy, what is the matter with
you? You sound like you already
picked out another husband.
Huh?
Aha! So that's it!
Admit it!
Oh, George, you found me out.
The minute you draw
your last breath,
I'm gonna hurl myself
into the arms
of another man.
- Who is he?
- It's Mr. Bentley, of course.
Bentley!
She's joking, Mr. J.!
She's joking.
- Oh, I know who it is!
- Aha.
Oh, you fixed it.
Marvelous. Thank you.
Aha! So it's this old
schoolmate of yours, ain't it?
This Bo Morrison.
Now I know you're crazy.
Look at the two of you in
this picture in the cafeteria.
If you were squeezed
any closer together,
I wouldn't know where
you began and he ended.
George, you're impossible.
You know that?
Huh! Now I see why you wanted
to take that "no remarriage"
clause out of the will.
Why?
Because when I go below,
you go to Bo.
That is the stupidest thing
I ever heard you say.
Uh-huh. And I've been stupid
because I didn't dig this
Bo thing from the beginning.
I don't have
no time to stand here
and continue this nonsense.
We can discuss it
after the reunion.
We ain't going
to no damn reunion!
George, you're not gonna run
my life after you're gone.
And you're not gonna
run my life
while you're here!
If you want to go
to that reunion and see
your old lover, go ahead,
but you're going without me.
Well, that'll suit me
just fine!
Hold it! Hold it!
You ain't gonna
be no fox in my mink!
What's the matter with you?
Oh, I, uh... I think
my resoles are burning.
Weezy!
Oh, hi.
Oh, it's only you.
Well, I didn't get
no great big thrill
out of seeing you either.
But at least I was polite.
How come you ain't
at the reunion
with Mrs. Jefferson?
'Cause she's getting married
again, as soon as I die.
Wait a minute.
How many of them drinks
have you had?
- Come and sit next to me,
Florence.
- Uh-oh. Too many. Good night.
Will you come here and sit down?
I wanna ask you something!
Can't you ask me standing up?
No. It's a sitting question.
Now sit!
Look, Florence, if you was me...
Which I ain't.
I know you're not.
I said, but if you was me...
If I was you, you'd be
a much nicer person.
Will you shut up?
Then how am I gonna
answer your question?
By giving me a chance to ask it!
Then you can talk.
Well, just don't start with
"if you was me."
I just finished eatin'.
All right. Look.
Look, that will
that you signed...
I left all my money to Weezy.
I mean, everything that I own,
with the one condition
that she don't remarry.
Now, she got mad.
Now tell me, am I being
unreasonable? Yes or no?
- That can't be answered
with yes or no.
- Sure it can!
You can say, yes, I'm right,
and no, she's wrong.
Tell me somethin'.
Did Mrs. Jefferson say
she was gonna get married again?
No. But she didn't say
she wouldn't. Now you tell me,
who do you think is right?
It don't make
no difference.
Say what?
Because you'll be dead by then.
You won't know what happened.
Yeah, but I know about it now,
and it's killing me!
Let me ask you a question.
What if Mrs. Jefferson
was to go before you?
Would you get married again?
- Of course not.
- Are you willing
to put that in writin'?
Promisin' to give away
all your money
if you get married again?
- Now, that's crazy.
- No crazier than what you're
askin' of Mrs. Jefferson.
That's different!
Well, I guess you're right.
After all,
the way Mrs. Jefferson
throws money around...
Weezy ain't like that.
She's very careful
with my money.
And she's always looking
at other men.
Now don't be talking
like that about Weezy.
She ain't never looked at
another man since the first day
she laid eyes on me!
Oh, well. Then what
was your question?
The question is,
how the hell am I so stupid?
I don't know.
It just comes easy
to some folks.
Florence, I could kiss you.
If you do,
they'll be readin'
your will tomorrow.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪ Eddie! Eddie Salter!
Hey. Hey!
Get off me!
Eddie, it's so good
to see you again.
I ain't Eddie.
You can't fool me.
You're Eddie Salter.
No, I ain't.
Yes, you are.
You may have gotten
a little taller,
but I'd know you anywhere.
Lady, I'm George Jefferson.
How about that?
You even changed your name.
Look, I didn't change nothin'!
My name is George Jefferson.
I never seen you
before in my life.
Up to your old tricks, huh?
Playing like it's
the first time we met.
Well, that's okay with me.
Because I loved
what happened
that first time!
What are you talking about?
Will you stop climbing
all over me!
I told you, my name
is George Jefferson!
Whatever you say, Eddie.
Will you cut that out?
I'm ticklish there.
I know, Eddie. Remember?
George, what are you doing here?
Weezy, I just came down
to tell you how stupid I was.
Do we have enough time?
I deserved it, Weez.
I deserved it. Look.
I just wanted to say...
I'm sorry about everything,
and I'll change
the will tomorrow.
Oh, George. Thank you
for being so understanding.
You're welcome.
And if I ever die,
you can do whatever you want.
Oh, you won't die, George.
You're too stubborn.
I learned my lesson, Weezy.
I ain't got nothing
to be suspicious about.
You don't know
how true that is,
especially here.
What do you mean here?
I never had any boyfriends
when I was in high school.
Say what?
I went to 43 sock hops,
and I didn't wear out
one pair of socks.
No kidding?
Nobody ever paid attention
to me. I was a wallflower.
Oh. What about this
Bo Morrison guy?
Bo Morrison never paid
any attention to me.
Oh. What about the poem
he wrote in your book?
Bo wrote the same poem
in every girl's book.
Oh. You mean he really
didn't notice you?
I'm sure he doesn't
even remember me.
Ha!
Wow.
Excuse me.
May I have this dance?
Why, I'd be delighted.
Do you mind, George?
Of course not.
Knock yourself out.
Okay. Let's go, Bo.
Bo?
Hello, again!
Hey, is that Bo Morrison?
Yes. All the girls
went crazy for him.
Hmm! Tall, good looking,
full of muscles.
But I like 'em short and puny.
Hey, look. How 'bout you
dancing with me?
Oh, Eddie, I knew
you'd come around.
Man, where are you running?
This is a dance,
not a track meet.
Oh, excuse me.
Hey, what are you doin'?
I'm doing a new dance called
the Old Boyfriend Stomp.
I'm sorry.
Hey, man, this is a big
dance floor. Can't you find
your own territory?
I know my territory, chump,
and you're invadin' it!
Okay. Let's not
fight about it.
Oh, chicken, huh?
Just as I thought!
Football sure is a dumb game.
And all football players
are sissies!
Maybe you oughta tell that
to Mean Joe Greene.
I'm telling it to you, chump,
and I hope you don't like it!
Okay, calm down. Everyone's
entitled to his own opinion,
no matter how stupid it is.
Stupid?
What do you mean stupid?
I'm so embarrassed.
My husband's very jealous.
I don't blame him.
I would be too.
You know, you're even
prettier than I remember.
I'm surprised
that you remembered me.
Why?
Because in high school
you never asked me for a date.
I sure wanted to.
I never got up the nerve.
Oh, Bo.
- Hey!
- Thank you, Claudine.
- What?
- Thanks for the
lovely dance, Claudine.
Uh, you're welcome.
Claudine?
How 'bout that? He thought
you was somebody else.
Yeah.
He didn't even remember you.
I know.
Hey, Weezy. Oh, could
I get you something?
No.
Hey, I'll be right back.
I'd just like to tell you again
how nice it is seeing you
after all these years.
Oh, Bo, something's puzzling me.
You called me Claudine.
I don't remember
any Claudine in our class.
I know that, Louise.
But no sense in getting
a jealous husband stirred up.
Thanks a lot for the dance.
Oh, it was my pleasure, Bo.
I better quit while I'm ahead.
See you next reunion.
Hey, Weezy, you know something?
That Bo Morrison is dumber
than I thought.
What makes you say that?
How could he go through
four years of high school...
and not notice
the prettiest girl
in the whole class?
Uh, but, George...
Man, what a fool he is.
He'd just be lucky to have
somebody half as good as you.
George, Bo just came...
I know, Weezy,
but don't feel bad.
You're the foxiest thing here.
♪♪
George, they're playing
our song.
Oh, they'll play anything
for 20 bucks.
♪ Mystic smile ♪
♪ Is it only
'cause you're lonely ♪
♪ They have blamed you ♪
♪ For that Mona Lisa
strangeness ♪
♪ In your smile ♪♪
George.
Yes?
I love you.
Hmm.
♪♪
The Jeffersons was videotaped
in front of a studio audience.
♪ Movin'
Movin' on up ♪♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the east side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To a deluxe apartment
in the sky ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the east side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ We finally got a piece
of the pie ♪
♪ Fish don't fry
in the kitchen ♪
♪ Beans don't burn
on the grill ♪
♪ Took a whole lotta tryin'
just to get up that hill ♪
♪ Now we're up
in the big leagues ♪
♪ Gettin' our turn at bat ♪
♪ As long as we live
it's you and me, baby ♪
♪ There ain't nothin'
wrong with that ♪
♪ Well, we're movin' on up ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the east side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To a deluxe apartment
in the sky ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the east side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ We finally got a piece ♪
♪ Of the pie ♪♪
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
How about it, Florence?
Oh, Lena Horne,
eat your heart out.
Mrs. Jefferson,
you gonna be the belle
of your reunion,
just like you were the belle
of your senior class.
Some belle. I went
through high school without
ringing anybody's chimes.
Well, I know what
you mean, child.
'Cause when I was in
high school, the only bell
I heard was the tardy bell...
and the going-home bell.
Well, hello, Florence.
May I use your top?
I beg your pardon?
I mean your stove top.
Mine isn't working.
Oh, sure. Come on in.
Oh, thank you.
Did you call the gas company
about it, Mr. Bentley?
Yes, I did,
and they're treating it
like a rush job.
They're sending a man
over next week.
I say, what a smashing dress.
Oh, why, thank you.
I'm going to
my high school reunion.
Oh, really?
I went to a reunion once.
Didn't recognize a soul.
Everyone changed that much, huh?
Uh, no, I was
at the wrong reunion.
I think the stove is waiting
for you, Mr. Bentley.
You got everything?
Oh, I think so.
I'm just going to fix
some resoles.
Resoles?
What's resoles?
Oh, they're sort
of English meatballs.
You just dip them in egg
and bread crumb and fry them.
I'm gonna serve mine
with collard greens
and black-eyed peas...
and call them
Bentley's resole food.
Bentley's resole food.
You know, when
Mr. Bentley was a kid,
he sure must have inhaled
a lot of that London fog.
You know, I'm beginning
to have second thoughts
about going to that reunion.
Why? According to your yearbook,
you were pretty popular
in high school.
- What makes you say that?
- 'Cause you were the president
of the Camera Club.
I was the only one
who had a camera.
Here's a picture of you
in the Glee Club.
I was the only one
who could sing bass.
Oh, Mrs. J., I just realized
that I said resoles
were English meatballs.
I didn't mean you had to
make them with English meat.
American meat
is quite good enough.
I mean, just in case
you thought that I...
Right.
Oh, look out! Who is this
supercharged superman?
Oh, that's Bo Morrison.
He was captain
of the football team.
Mmm. Now there's a real mound
of American meat.
I wouldn't mind
making resoles with him.
He was also president
of the senior class.
All the girls in school
had a crush on Bo.
Including you?
Of course.
But I never had
a chance with him.
What you mean? He even wrote
a poem in your book.
Bo wrote a poem
in every girl's book.
But in this picture, you're
standing right next to him
in the cafeteria line.
Now, that was my lucky day.
Bo lost his wallet,
and he let me pay
for his sloppy joe sandwich.
Hey, Weezy.
Hi, George.
Are you ready for the big night?
We are going to dance
until daylight!
Hey! All right!
How 'bout that?
A tiny turkey trying
to be a disco duck.
- Ain't you got something
better to do?
- I must have.
Anything's better
than watching you.
George, I think you're
more excited about going
to my reunion than I am.
Why not? I can't wait
to show them old classmates
of yours...
that Louise Mills
batted 1.000
in the marriage department.
And just to show them
how lucky you really are,
I bought you this.
Shoom!
Oh, a mink jacket!
Oh, George, it's beautiful.
But don't you think
it's a little warm
to wear a mink jacket?
Why? Minks wear 'em
all year round. Hey!
You know, it's hard to fight
that kind of logic.
Hey, Weezy, maybe
the band will play
our song tonight, huh?
Your song? You mean the theme
from The Beauty and the Beast?
"Mona Lisa," dummy.
Remember, Weez?
♪ Mona Lisa ♪
♪ Mona Lisa ♪
♪ Men have named you ♪
♪ You're so like the lady
with the mystic smile ♪♪
Yeah.
"Mona Lisa" was playing
the first time we kissed.
Ah. Mmm!
What's that smell?
- It's Mr. Bentley.
- No, he smells better
than that.
His stove isn't working,
so he's cooking
in our kitchen.
Oh, cooking? Mmm!
Hey, hey, you and me
gonna be cooking tonight,
huh, Weez?
You know something, Weezy?
You're lucky I didn't
finish high school.
Why is that?
'Cause if I had
a class reunion,
all the girls would be
wanting to dance with me,
and you'd have to wait in line.
Because I mean,
I was really popular.
- Shoot. You wasn't as popular
as Mrs. Jefferson.
- Say what?
When Mrs. Jefferson
was in high school,
all the boys was chasing her.
They were?
Yeah.
Look at this.
Look at this.
Florence!
Hey, Weezy, what made
you take a picture
with that jive turkey?
'Cause he was the captain of
the football team. And he had
a big crush on Mrs. Jefferson.
Now, Florence,
you know that's not...
Listen to this poem
he wrote in her book.
"Until the time we meet again,
I hope you'll always
be my friend."
Big deal!
What about all the poems
I sent you when I was
in the navy?
Oh, yes. I'll never forget
the romantic one you
sent me from Korea.
"Roses are red.
Violets are nice.
Man, am I sick
of eating rice."
Oh, you little
sweet talker, you.
Well, at least Weezy
made the right choice when
she picked me over this clown.
Right choice? She passed up
a Billy Dee Williams
for a Rodney Allen Rippy.
Well, if I'm going to
my cousin's for dinner, I guess
I better get moving fast.
Where's my camera? If she's
gonna be moving fast, I wanna
get a picture of that!
Get that, Florence.
I'm not going in that direction.
I'll get it.
How come whenever there's work
around, she's always going
in the opposite direction?
Oh, hello, Ralph.
I just stopped up to deliver
your mail, Mrs. Jefferson.
You're the doorman.
Why do you wanna be
the mailman too?
It's just one of my many
little extra services that I do,
which I don't have to do,
but I like to do
for the fine tenants
in this building...
who have proven themselves
wonderfully generous.
Ah.
Man, Ralph, you know,
you're the only person
I know...
that turns every day
into Christmas.
Well, ho-ho-ho.
Well, no, no, no.
- George.
- Oh, here.
Thank you, sir.
But, sir...
Yeah, "But, sir" what?
Well, sir, you'll notice
the post office has raised
the price of delivery.
Yeah, I know.
And I was wondering,
in view of...
the general inflationary
pressure, that you, too,
would increase
my usual gratuity
accordingly?
- Uh, what?
- Ralph wants
a cost-of-living increase.
Oh, okay, sure,
I'll give you one.
Thank you, sir.
As soon as I get my cost
of tipping increase.
That's very funny, sir.
By the way, sir,
I was looking
through your copy
of New York magazine.
There's a very interesting
article in there
I think you'll enjoy.
It's called,
"How Smart New Yorkers
Save Money."
I know how they do that.
They move into a building
that ain't got no doorman.
♪♪
Hey, great.
This is from my lawyer.
Oh, what's that, George?
Just my will.
I changed it a little.
Changed? What was wrong
with your old will?
Well, my bankbook has
got more pages, so I had
to add pages to my will.
Florence, wanna witness
my signature?
Sure. If it's on
a check to me.
Here, sign this.
I ain't signing no piece of
paper I ain't never seen before.
Sign!
Last time I did that, I wound
up with a year's subscription
to Better Homes And Gardens.
And I didn't even have a garden.
You ain't gonna have no home
if you don't sign.
Well, what is it?
Look, you can bet your life
nothing in here
concerns you. It's my will.
Your will?
Oh, I'll sign to that.
What changes have you made
in your will, George?
Oh, nothing important.
I'm leaving now. I hope
you have a nice time
at your reunion.
She'll be dancing with me,
won't she?
Well, try to have
a nice time anyway.
I need one more
person to sign this.
I'll sign it.
No, you can't do that.
You're the beneficiary.
I'm leaving all my dough to you.
Then you haven't
changed it at all.
No, not much.
I'm afraid my back's
gone out again.
Bentley! Great.
Just what I need.
You need your back to go out?
Nope. You're in the perfect
position to sign this.
George, Mr. Bentley's hurt.
How did you do it this time?
Oh, I spilled some salt
on the floor,
and I bent down to throw
it over my shoulder
for good luck.
Just sign here.
It's my will.
I'll gladly lend you
my hand, Mr. J.,
if you'll lend me your feet.
I gotta save my feet
for dancing tonight.
Oh, please, Mr. J.!
Okay, lay down.
Oh, you're a top.
Yeah, all my friends
say I'm that.
George, what does
this mean?
What?
"To my wife, Louise, I leave
all my earthly possessions"...
That means when I go,
you got it.
No, not that part.
This part:
"on the condition
that she never remarries."
Oh. That's just
a little something I asked
my lawyer to throw in.
Then you can just tell him
to throw it out.
What do you mean by that?
I mean, you have no right
to put that in the will.
I got every right.
It's my will.
This isn't a will.
It's a won't!
Ahem, Mr. J.
Oh, okay.
I'll be right there, Bentley.
Look, Weezy, why would you
wanna remarry anyway?
Let's face it. You already
have heaven on earth.
George, it's not
that I want to remarry.
There's no one in this
whole world for me but you.
That's true.
But it's not right for you
to order me around like this!
I'm not ordering you around!
I'm protecting you!
Protecting me?
That's right. There's a whole
lot of shifty dudes out there
just waiting to grab some widow.
Oh, George, give me
a little credit.
Look, Weezy, you can have
all the credit you want.
It's the cash I'm worried about.
What?
Look, Weezy.
I don't want nobody
winding up in my bed
with my bread.
Maybe I should come back later.
It's okay!
George, I insist that
you take that clause
out of the will!
Weezy, what is the matter with
you? You sound like you already
picked out another husband.
Huh?
Aha! So that's it!
Admit it!
Oh, George, you found me out.
The minute you draw
your last breath,
I'm gonna hurl myself
into the arms
of another man.
- Who is he?
- It's Mr. Bentley, of course.
Bentley!
She's joking, Mr. J.!
She's joking.
- Oh, I know who it is!
- Aha.
Oh, you fixed it.
Marvelous. Thank you.
Aha! So it's this old
schoolmate of yours, ain't it?
This Bo Morrison.
Now I know you're crazy.
Look at the two of you in
this picture in the cafeteria.
If you were squeezed
any closer together,
I wouldn't know where
you began and he ended.
George, you're impossible.
You know that?
Huh! Now I see why you wanted
to take that "no remarriage"
clause out of the will.
Why?
Because when I go below,
you go to Bo.
That is the stupidest thing
I ever heard you say.
Uh-huh. And I've been stupid
because I didn't dig this
Bo thing from the beginning.
I don't have
no time to stand here
and continue this nonsense.
We can discuss it
after the reunion.
We ain't going
to no damn reunion!
George, you're not gonna run
my life after you're gone.
And you're not gonna
run my life
while you're here!
If you want to go
to that reunion and see
your old lover, go ahead,
but you're going without me.
Well, that'll suit me
just fine!
Hold it! Hold it!
You ain't gonna
be no fox in my mink!
What's the matter with you?
Oh, I, uh... I think
my resoles are burning.
Weezy!
Oh, hi.
Oh, it's only you.
Well, I didn't get
no great big thrill
out of seeing you either.
But at least I was polite.
How come you ain't
at the reunion
with Mrs. Jefferson?
'Cause she's getting married
again, as soon as I die.
Wait a minute.
How many of them drinks
have you had?
- Come and sit next to me,
Florence.
- Uh-oh. Too many. Good night.
Will you come here and sit down?
I wanna ask you something!
Can't you ask me standing up?
No. It's a sitting question.
Now sit!
Look, Florence, if you was me...
Which I ain't.
I know you're not.
I said, but if you was me...
If I was you, you'd be
a much nicer person.
Will you shut up?
Then how am I gonna
answer your question?
By giving me a chance to ask it!
Then you can talk.
Well, just don't start with
"if you was me."
I just finished eatin'.
All right. Look.
Look, that will
that you signed...
I left all my money to Weezy.
I mean, everything that I own,
with the one condition
that she don't remarry.
Now, she got mad.
Now tell me, am I being
unreasonable? Yes or no?
- That can't be answered
with yes or no.
- Sure it can!
You can say, yes, I'm right,
and no, she's wrong.
Tell me somethin'.
Did Mrs. Jefferson say
she was gonna get married again?
No. But she didn't say
she wouldn't. Now you tell me,
who do you think is right?
It don't make
no difference.
Say what?
Because you'll be dead by then.
You won't know what happened.
Yeah, but I know about it now,
and it's killing me!
Let me ask you a question.
What if Mrs. Jefferson
was to go before you?
Would you get married again?
- Of course not.
- Are you willing
to put that in writin'?
Promisin' to give away
all your money
if you get married again?
- Now, that's crazy.
- No crazier than what you're
askin' of Mrs. Jefferson.
That's different!
Well, I guess you're right.
After all,
the way Mrs. Jefferson
throws money around...
Weezy ain't like that.
She's very careful
with my money.
And she's always looking
at other men.
Now don't be talking
like that about Weezy.
She ain't never looked at
another man since the first day
she laid eyes on me!
Oh, well. Then what
was your question?
The question is,
how the hell am I so stupid?
I don't know.
It just comes easy
to some folks.
Florence, I could kiss you.
If you do,
they'll be readin'
your will tomorrow.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪ Eddie! Eddie Salter!
Hey. Hey!
Get off me!
Eddie, it's so good
to see you again.
I ain't Eddie.
You can't fool me.
You're Eddie Salter.
No, I ain't.
Yes, you are.
You may have gotten
a little taller,
but I'd know you anywhere.
Lady, I'm George Jefferson.
How about that?
You even changed your name.
Look, I didn't change nothin'!
My name is George Jefferson.
I never seen you
before in my life.
Up to your old tricks, huh?
Playing like it's
the first time we met.
Well, that's okay with me.
Because I loved
what happened
that first time!
What are you talking about?
Will you stop climbing
all over me!
I told you, my name
is George Jefferson!
Whatever you say, Eddie.
Will you cut that out?
I'm ticklish there.
I know, Eddie. Remember?
George, what are you doing here?
Weezy, I just came down
to tell you how stupid I was.
Do we have enough time?
I deserved it, Weez.
I deserved it. Look.
I just wanted to say...
I'm sorry about everything,
and I'll change
the will tomorrow.
Oh, George. Thank you
for being so understanding.
You're welcome.
And if I ever die,
you can do whatever you want.
Oh, you won't die, George.
You're too stubborn.
I learned my lesson, Weezy.
I ain't got nothing
to be suspicious about.
You don't know
how true that is,
especially here.
What do you mean here?
I never had any boyfriends
when I was in high school.
Say what?
I went to 43 sock hops,
and I didn't wear out
one pair of socks.
No kidding?
Nobody ever paid attention
to me. I was a wallflower.
Oh. What about this
Bo Morrison guy?
Bo Morrison never paid
any attention to me.
Oh. What about the poem
he wrote in your book?
Bo wrote the same poem
in every girl's book.
Oh. You mean he really
didn't notice you?
I'm sure he doesn't
even remember me.
Ha!
Wow.
Excuse me.
May I have this dance?
Why, I'd be delighted.
Do you mind, George?
Of course not.
Knock yourself out.
Okay. Let's go, Bo.
Bo?
Hello, again!
Hey, is that Bo Morrison?
Yes. All the girls
went crazy for him.
Hmm! Tall, good looking,
full of muscles.
But I like 'em short and puny.
Hey, look. How 'bout you
dancing with me?
Oh, Eddie, I knew
you'd come around.
Man, where are you running?
This is a dance,
not a track meet.
Oh, excuse me.
Hey, what are you doin'?
I'm doing a new dance called
the Old Boyfriend Stomp.
I'm sorry.
Hey, man, this is a big
dance floor. Can't you find
your own territory?
I know my territory, chump,
and you're invadin' it!
Okay. Let's not
fight about it.
Oh, chicken, huh?
Just as I thought!
Football sure is a dumb game.
And all football players
are sissies!
Maybe you oughta tell that
to Mean Joe Greene.
I'm telling it to you, chump,
and I hope you don't like it!
Okay, calm down. Everyone's
entitled to his own opinion,
no matter how stupid it is.
Stupid?
What do you mean stupid?
I'm so embarrassed.
My husband's very jealous.
I don't blame him.
I would be too.
You know, you're even
prettier than I remember.
I'm surprised
that you remembered me.
Why?
Because in high school
you never asked me for a date.
I sure wanted to.
I never got up the nerve.
Oh, Bo.
- Hey!
- Thank you, Claudine.
- What?
- Thanks for the
lovely dance, Claudine.
Uh, you're welcome.
Claudine?
How 'bout that? He thought
you was somebody else.
Yeah.
He didn't even remember you.
I know.
Hey, Weezy. Oh, could
I get you something?
No.
Hey, I'll be right back.
I'd just like to tell you again
how nice it is seeing you
after all these years.
Oh, Bo, something's puzzling me.
You called me Claudine.
I don't remember
any Claudine in our class.
I know that, Louise.
But no sense in getting
a jealous husband stirred up.
Thanks a lot for the dance.
Oh, it was my pleasure, Bo.
I better quit while I'm ahead.
See you next reunion.
Hey, Weezy, you know something?
That Bo Morrison is dumber
than I thought.
What makes you say that?
How could he go through
four years of high school...
and not notice
the prettiest girl
in the whole class?
Uh, but, George...
Man, what a fool he is.
He'd just be lucky to have
somebody half as good as you.
George, Bo just came...
I know, Weezy,
but don't feel bad.
You're the foxiest thing here.
♪♪
George, they're playing
our song.
Oh, they'll play anything
for 20 bucks.
♪ Mystic smile ♪
♪ Is it only
'cause you're lonely ♪
♪ They have blamed you ♪
♪ For that Mona Lisa
strangeness ♪
♪ In your smile ♪♪
George.
Yes?
I love you.
Hmm.
♪♪
The Jeffersons was videotaped
in front of a studio audience.
♪ Movin'
Movin' on up ♪♪