The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 4, Episode 8 - The Camp Out - full transcript
Marcus never got to go camping as a child. Louise persuades George to take him without realizing that Mother Jefferson is slated to come over. So George dumps his mother on Louise and takes Marcus camping.
♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪
♪ IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT
A PIECE OF THE PIE ♪
♪ FISH DON'T FRY
IN THE KITCHEN ♪
♪ BEANS DON'T
BURN ON THE GRILL ♪
♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN' ♪
♪ JUST TO GET UP THAT HILL ♪
♪ NOW WE'RE UP IN
THE BIG LEAGUES ♪
♪ GETTIN' OUR TURN AT BAT ♪
♪ AS LONG AS WE LIVE ♪
♪ IT'S YOU AND ME, BABY ♪
♪ THERE AIN'T NOTHIN'
WRONG WITH THAT ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪
♪ IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A
PIECE OF THE PIE ♪♪
AND 17...
17.
18.
18.
DON'T BEND YOUR KNEES.
OK.
19.19.
20.20.
I DIDN'T BEND MY KNEES.
OK, JUST LIE DOWN FOR
A MINUTE AND RELAX.
NOW THAT I CAN DO.
YOU'LL FEEL LIKE A NEW PERSON
AS SOON AS WE WORK
THROUGH THIS BOOK.
TOMORROW I'LL SHOW
YOU HOW TO DO A FACIAL.
FACIAL?
IT'S GOOD FOR YOUR SKIN.
WHY DON'T YOU SHOW ME
HOW TO GET US COLD DRINKS?
COMING RIGHT UP.
OH, MY GOD! WEEZY!
WEEZY! TALK TO ME!
HELLO, GEORGE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?
EXERCISING.
YOU CALL LAYIN' ON THE
FLOOR SCARIN' ME EXERCISING?
WELL, RIGHT NOW I'M RELAXING.
[DOORBELL]
DO ME A FAVOR. NEXT TIME
YOU RELAX, KEEP ON MOVING.
HELLO, MR. J. I'M OFF.
I'VE ALWAYS KNOWN THAT.
GEORGE!
NO, I'M OFF TO THE MOUNTAINS.
COME IN, MR. BENTLEY.
HI, GEORGE, MR. BENTLEY.
I GOT WEIRDOS COMIN'
OUT OF EVERY DOOR!
WHO'S HIDIN' IN THE
BATHROOM, THE TY-D-BOL MAN?
LOUISE AND I WERE
EXERCISING TOGETHER.
YOU EVER TRY THIS ONE?
WHAT WILL THAT DO?
TAKE YOU BACK TO YOUR APARTMENT.
WE CAN FINISH LATER, LOUISE.
MEANWHILE, YOU CAN
TEACH GEORGE EXERCISES
TO IMPROVE HIS COORDINATION.
COORDINATION? I GOT
PERFECT COORDINATION.
I MEAN COORDINATION BETWEEN
YOUR BRAIN AND YOUR MOUTH.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
YOUR WIFE IS
BABYSITTING MY PLANTS.
HERE ARE MY KEYS.
IT'S REALLY WONDERFUL
TO GET AWAY.
GOOD. BYE.
THE CASCADING STREAMS,
THE SCENTED PINES,
THE BEAUTY OF VIRGINIA.
ISN'T VIRGINIA FAR
AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND?
VIRGINIA'S IN NEW JERSEY.
REALLY?
I MEAN MY FRIEND
VIRGINIA, NOT THE STATE.
ALTHOUGH SHE'S IN
A LOVELY STATE, TOO.
WE'RE GOING CAMPING
IN THE ADIRONDACKS.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN.
NOT FOR VIRGINIA!
HEY, MARCUS!
HEY, EVERYBODY!
COME IN.
HOW'S MY BEST NEW EMPLOYEE?
I DON'T KNOW, BUT I'M FINE!
I FIGURED I'D DROP
OFF THIS CLEANING.
THANKS, MARCUS.
HOW DO YOU FIND YOUR JOB?
I JUMP OFF THE BUS
AND LOOK FOR A SIGN
SAYING, "JEFFERSON CLEANERS."
JUST JIVIN', MR. BENTLEY.
MY JOB IS GOING GREAT.
MRS. JEFFERSON,
I APPRECIATE YOU
GETTIN' ME THIS WORK.
OH, DON'T THANK ME.
THANK ME. I'M PAYIN' YOU.
WHY THE BIG BOOTS, MR. BENTLEY?
GOIN' COCKROACH KILLING?
OH, NO. I DON'T BELIEVE
IN BLOOD SPORTS.
I'M GOING HIKING.
YEAH?
I'LL LOG 20 MILES
ON MY PEDOMETER.
YOU TAKIN' A MOTORBIKE?
A PEDOMETER MEASURES
HOW FAR YOU'VE WALKED.
SEE?
DOES IT REALLY WORK?
IT'S QUITE ACCURATE.
CAN IT MEASURE FROM
HERE TO THE ELEVATOR?
DEFINITELY.
IT'S EXACTLY...
WHERE'S MR. BENTLEY GOIN'?
HE'S GOING CAMPING.
CAMPIN'! THAT SOUNDS GREAT.
YOU LIKE CAMPING, MARCUS?
I AIN'T NEVER BEEN.
THAT'S A SHAME.
MY DAD PROMISED
TO TAKE ME CAMPIN'
ON MY BIRTHDAY LAST YEAR,
BUT WE NEVER WENT.
I HAD MY HEART ALL SET ON IT.
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME OF
FLORENCE'S UPSIDE-DOWN CAKE?
SURE!
CUT YOURSELF A PIECE.
THERE'S A KNIFE AND
FORK IN THE DRAWER.
IF THAT DON'T WORK,
THERE'S A HAMMER
AND SAW IN THE CLOSET.
I FEEL SORRY FOR MARCUS.
ME, TOO. HAVING TO
EAT FLORENCE'S COOKIN'!
HE REALLY WANTS TO GO CAMPING.
SO?
NOBODY WILL TAKE HIM!
WE'RE ALL OUT OF SCOTCH.
I WISH I COULD DO SOMETHING.
FIND ME SOME SCOTCH.
LET'S ASK MR. BENTLEY.
BENTLEY DRINKS
SCOTCH. GIVE ME HIS KEYS.
I MEANT MAYBE MR. BENTLEY
WOULD TAKE HIM CAMPING SOMETIME.
MAYBE YOU COULD TAKE HIM.
ME?
YEAH.
I HATE CAMPIN'.
WHEN HAVE YOU BEEN CAMPING?
NEVER. WHY DO SOMETHIN' I HATE?
GEORGE...
HIS FATHER CAN TAKE
MARCUS CAMPING.
HIS FATHER ALREADY
BROKE ONE PROMISE.
HE'S PROBABLY TOO BUSY,
LIKE YOU WERE WHEN
LIONEL WAS A KID.
I WASN'T TOO BUSY.
I WAS TOO BROKE.
YOU'RE NOT TOO BROKE NOW.
NO. NOW I'M TOO SMART.
YOU'VE GOT THE TIME AND MONEY.
YOU COULD TAKE HIM CAMPING.
I DON'T WANT TO, SO FORGET IT.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
YOU'RE BEING VERY SELFISH.
NO, I AIN'T.
YEAH. WHO'S THIS?
HI, MAMA, HOW ARE YOU?
MAN, MRS. JEFFERSON,
THIS CAKE IS REAL GOOD.
DON'T SPOIL YOUR DINNER.
MY MOM DOES THAT
WHEN SHE COOKS IT.
I BETTER BE GOIN'.
ARE YOU WORKING
TOMORROW, MARCUS?
I GOT TO BE THERE AT 9:00.
NO, YOU DON'T.
ARE YOU FIRIN' ME?
NO. YOU AND ME
ARE GOING CAMPIN'.
WE GOIN' TO THE MOUNTAINS?
RIGHT ON.
ALL RIGHT!
I TOLD YOU HE'D LIKE IT.
CAN WE HANDLE IT?
I DON'T KNOW NOTHIN'
ABOUT CAMPING. DO YOU?
SURE.
YOU DO?
YOU DRIVE TO THE WOODS,
PARK YOUR CAR, GET OUT,
WALK UNTIL YOU FIND
GRASS, AND SIT DOWN.
AND I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T
KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT CAMPING.
WELL?
OK. ARE YOU SURE?
SURE I'M SURE.
LET'S RENT EQUIPMENT
BEFORE THE STORES CLOSE.
BYE, MRS. JEFFERSON.
GEORGE.
I'M GLAD YOU CHANGED YOUR
MIND. YOU'RE WONDERFUL.
MARCUS WANTS TO GO CAMPIN'.
SOMEBODY SHOULD TAKE
HIM. I ALMOST FORGOT.
THAT WAS MAMA WHO CALLED.
SHE'S HAVIN' HER APARTMENT
PAINTED TOMORROW.
SO?
I TOLD HER SHE COULD
SPEND THE WEEKEND WITH US.
WITH US? BUT YOU'RE
GOING CAMPING.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT!
WHAT A SHAME! I'LL MISS THE FUN.
WELL, YOU AND MAMA ENJOY
YOURSELVES TOGETHER.
YOU SURE YOU KNOW
HOW TO DO THIS?
OF COURSE I'M SURE!
ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS
KEEP THESE POLES TIGHT.
TAKE OUT SOME SLACK ON YOUR END.
ANY IDIOT CAN PUT UP A TENT.
HEY!
HOLD IT, HOLD IT. I
KNOW WHAT I'M DOIN'.
I DON'T THINK IT'S
SUPPOSED TO DO THAT.
AIN'T NO TENT GONNA
BEAT GEORGE JEFFERSON.
I'LL DO IT LATER.
MAYBE WE COULD SLEEP
ON IT INSTEAD OF IN IT.
WE DON'T EVEN NEED NO TENT.
REAL CAMPERS SLEEP UNDER STARS.
THERE'S A FULL MOON.
FULL MOON?
THAT'LL GIVE MORE
LIGHT FOR THE COUGARS.
WHAT YOU TALKIN' ABOUT? THEY
DON'T ALLOW AUTOMOBILES UP HERE.
I MEANT MOUNTAIN LIONS.
WHAT'RE YOU TALKIN'
LIKE THAT FOR?
I DIDN'T MEAN TO SCARE YOU.
YOU CAN'T SCARE ME WITH
NO MOUNTAIN LION TALK.
WHY DON'T YOU GET SOME
WOOD TO BUILD A CAMPFIRE?
ME?
GO IN THERE?
YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE SO BIG AND BAD.
RIGHT.
[OWL HOOTING]
MAYBE I'LL GET LUCKY
AND FIND A GIRL SCOUT.
IF YOU DO, BRING ME
BACK SOME COOKIES.
MOUNTAIN LIONS LIVE IN
MOUNTAINS, NOT IN TREES.
WHAT'S THAT?
OH, A PINE CONE. YOU'RE LUCKY!
♪ OH, GIVE ME A HOME ♪
♪ WHERE THE BUFFALO ROAM ♪
♪ WHERE THE DEER AND
THE CANTALOUPE PLAY ♪
HOWDY.
WHAT'S THE IDEA, SNEAKING
UP AND SCARING ME?
SORRY, PAL.
WHEN YOU'RE HUNTIN',
YOU LEARN TO MOVE QUIET.
WELL, THERE AIN'T NO
ANIMALS AROUND HERE.
BARNEY HUNTER.
GEORGE, DRY CLEANER.
MY LAST NAME'S
HUNTER. BARNEY HUNTER.
YOU A CITY BOY?
WHO YOU CALLIN' "BOY"?
YOU'RE FROM THE CITY, RIGHT?
HOW'D YOU KNOW?
AIN'T MANY OF YOU FOLKS AROUND.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "YOU FOLKS"?
DRY CLEANERS.
QUIET.
WHAT?
DON'T MOVE.
DON'T SHOOT!
I AIN'T GOT NO MONEY!
IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S MARCUS.
SORRY, BUT YOU COULD
HAVE BEEN SOMETHIN'.
DEAD!
BOSS, YOU WOULDN'T
BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED.
I WAS PICKIN' UP WOOD
AND SOMETHING RAN PAST.
WHAT?
I DIDN'T STOP TO ASK.
I HEARD IT GROWL.
JUST PROBABLY A WOLF.
WOLF? WOLF?
NOTHIN' TO BE SCARED OF.
NOTHIN' TO BE SCARED OF, MARCUS.
I'LL BE GETTIN' HOME.
YOU LIVE AROUND HERE?
YEP. AIN'T NOTHIN' BETTER
THAN LIVING IN THE WOODS.
I LIVE IN THE CITY.
IF YOU'RE EVER
THERE, LOOK ME UP.
I AIN'T BEEN THERE
IN A COON'S AGE.
I MEAN, IN A LONG TIME.
WELL, TAKE CARE OF
YOURSELVES, YOU HEAR?
WE'D BETTER START THIS FIRE,
OR WE'LL FREEZE TO DEATH.
THIS IS FUN OUT HERE, AIN'T IT?
IT IS?
IT'S BETTER THAN BEIN' AT HOME.
MAMA'S PROBABLY
DRIVIN' WEEZY CRAZY.
WE HAVE THE WEEKEND
TO OURSELVES.
NO TOM, NO GEORGE.
NO MOTHER JEFFERSON!
I'M SO GLAD SHE DIDN'T COME
FOR THE WEEKEND AFTER ALL.
HELEN?
HMM?
HOW LONG DO I KEEP THIS ON?
LET IT SET FOR A FEW DAYS.
A FEW DAYS!
JUST KIDDING. LET IT
SET FOR 10 MINUTES.
DON'T LAUGH, OR
YOUR FACE WILL CRACK.
I HOPE IT ALL COMES OFF.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
IF GEORGE SAW ME LIKE
THIS, HE'D TURN WHITE!
HELLO.
MRS. JEFFERSON?
HI, RALPH.
IS YOUR HUSBAND HERE?
HE'S OUT OF TOWN.
OH, THAT'S A SHAME.
WHY?
STEVIE WONDER'S GIVING A
BENEFIT CONCERT TONIGHT.
GEORGE COULDN'T GET TICKETS.
HE MENTIONED IF I
COULD GET TWO TICKETS,
HE'D MAKE IT WORTHWHILE.
SINCE HE'S NOT HERE...
WAIT, RALPH. YOU HAVE TICKETS
FOR STEVIE WONDER'S CONCERT?
YES, MA'AM.
YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT I DID
TO GET THESE TICKETS.
I CALLED DOORMEN AND SCALPERS,
TRIED TO BRIBE A CABBY.
I'LL FIND SOMEONE
WHO WANTS THEM.
HELEN, DO YOU WANT TO GO?
I'D LOVE TO.
HOW MUCH DID
MR. JEFFERSON SAY HE'D PAY?
HE DIDN'T, BUT YOU
KNOW HOW GENEROUS
MR. JEFFERSON IS.
I GUESS YOU DON'T.
THESE ARE THE BEST
SEATS IN THE HOUSE.
THAT'S IT, RALPH.
AS A FAVOR TO YOU,
MRS. JEFFERSON.
THANKS A LOT, RALPH.
MRS. JEFFERSON, YOUR FACE...
I KNOW, IT'S WHITE.
NO. IT'S CRACKED.
STEVIE WONDER!
GEORGE WILL BE
SO MAD HE MISSED IT.
GIRL, YOU CAN REALLY GET DOWN,
FOR A HONKY.
ISN'T THIS GREAT?
NO TRAFFIC.
NO BATHROOM.
NO CUSTOMERS COMPLAININ'
ABOUT THEIR CLEANING.
NO PLACE TO BUY A HOT HAMBURGER.
NO WILLISES.
NOBODY TO HELP IF
SOMETHIN' HAPPENS.
LIKE WHAT?
LIKE SOME WILD ANIMAL
COMIN' AFTER US, LIKE A BEAR.
IF A BEAR COMES AROUND HERE,
I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO DO.
WHAT?
THROW IT ONE OF THOSE
SANDWICHES FLORENCE MADE.
IF THAT DON'T KILL
IT, NOTHIN' WILL.
MR. JEFFERSON, YOU'RE A NICE GUY
FOR TAKIN' ME CAMPING.
MAYBE YOUR FATHER
WILL TAKE YOU SOMETIME.
AIN'T NO CHANCE OF THAT.
SURE THERE IS.
NO, THERE AIN'T.
MAYBE HE HAD A REASON
FOR NOT TAKIN' YOU BEFORE.
HE DIED, MAN.
YOUR FATHER'S DEAD?
HE DIED TWO WEEKS
BEFORE MY LAST BIRTHDAY.
AND YOU'RE STILL MAD AT HIM
FOR NOT TAKING YOU CAMPING?
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I UNDERSTAND. YOU
DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHAT?
YOU AIN'T MAD ABOUT CAMPIN'.
YOU'RE MAD ABOUT HIS DYIN'.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE
HAVIN' AN OLD MAN WHO MAKES
PROMISES HE DOESN'T KEEP.
WHAT KIND OF PROMISES?
LIKE PLAYIN' BASEBALL.
I REMEMBER SITTING ON THE STOOP
WITH MY RAGGEDY MITT,
WAITIN' FOR HIM TO COME HOME
SO WE COULD PLAY CATCH.
BUT WHEN HE CAME HOME,
HE WAS SO TIRED
FROM LOADIN' TRUCKS,
HE BARELY MADE IT
DOWN THE SIDEWALK.
I ASKED HIM TO PLAY CATCH,
BUT HE DIDN'T HAVE
ENOUGH ENERGY.
HE'D SIT ME ON HIS
KNEE AND SAY, "MARCUS,
"SOMEDAY THINGS WILL GET BETTER.
"WE'LL HAVE ALL KINDS
OF TIME TO PLAY BALL.
I PROMISE."
THINGS NEVER DID GET BETTER.
MARCUS, LOOK...
ALL I GOT LEFT IS AN OLD
MITT AND BROKEN PROMISES.
MARCUS, I KNOW. MY
FATHER DIED WHEN I WAS 10.
HE DID?
HE MADE PROMISES
HE COULDN'T KEEP.
WEREN'T YOU MAD?
I WAS AT FIRST.
THEN I REALIZED HE DIDN'T
BELIEVE THOSE PROMISES.
YOUR FATHER PROBABLY
DIDN'T BELIEVE THEM EITHER.
WHY DID HE LIE?
HE DIDN'T LIE.
HE GAVE YOU SOMETHIN'
TO LOOK FORWARD TO.
WITHOUT PROMISES OF
THINGS GETTIN' BETTER,
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE
HAD ANYTHING TO GO ON.
HE SHOULDN'T HAVE MADE
PROMISES THAT WOULDN'T COME TRUE.
THEM PROMISES CAN COME TRUE.
HOW?
WELL, IT AIN'T EASY.
IT'S UP TO YOU TO
MAKE THEM COME TRUE.
YOUR FATHER DIED TRYIN'.
YOU COULD BLAME YOUR FATHER,
WHICH WON'T CHANGE
NOTHIN', WHICH IS STUPID.
MR. JEFFERSON...
LOOK WHAT YOU'RE DOIN'. YOU
BURNED YOUR MARSHMALLOW.
HERE.
REMINDS ME OF THE WILLISES.
YOU NEED A NEW STICK.
I'LL MAKE THOSE
PROMISES GOOD, DAD.
I PROMISE.
HEY, YOU ALL RIGHT?
I'M FINE.
I GOT SOME SMOKE IN MY EYES.
ENJOYIN' YOURSELF?
YEAH.
THIS CAMPIN' AIN'T HALF-BAD.
[HOWL]
IT AIN'T HALF-GOOD, NEITHER.
I KNOW A BETTER
PLACE TO PITCH CAMP.
WHERE?
THE NEAREST MOTEL.
ALL RIGHT!
[HOWL]
HURRY!
I FEEL GREAT, HELEN.
THIS WEEKEND DID ME GOOD.
WASN'T THAT A FABULOUS CONCERT?
WHAT?
HE'S NOT BACK YET.
HE AND MARCUS MUST
BE ENJOYING THEMSELVES.
WEEZY, GUESS WHO'S BACK.
SPEAK OF THE DEVIL,
AND IN HE WALKS.
BYE.
DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME?
WE HAD A GREAT TIME,
LYIN' UNDER THE STARS,
LISTENIN' TO THE
PEACE AND QUIET.
THAT'S WONDERFUL.
DID MARCUS ENJOY HIMSELF, TOO?
YEAH, BUT HE WAS SCARED
OF THOSE MOUNTAIN LIONS.
MOUNTAIN LIONS?
THEY DON'T BOTHER YOU.
JUST STARE THEM DOWN.
AFTER MARCUS SAW I KNEW
WHAT TO DO, HE WASN'T SCARED.
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU. I
THOUGHT YOU'D BE SCARED.
I BROUGHT YOU A LITTLE SOUVENIR.
WHAT'S THAT?
IT'S A PINE CONE.
I CLIMBED A BIG OAK
TREE TO GET YOU THIS.
I MEAN THAT.
THAT'S MY FOOT.
MOVE IT, GEORGE.
DON'T YOU WANT TO
SEE THE PINE CONE?
THE FOREST LODGE
MOTEL. GEORGE, WHAT...
IT GOT COLD. ME AND MARCUS...
STAYED IN A NICE,
COMFORTABLE MOTEL.
IT WASN'T THAT NICE.
IS MAMA HERE?
NO.
SHE LEFT ALREADY?
SHE NEVER CAME OVER.
WHY NOT?
A PAINTER GOT SICK.
THEY'LL PAINT HER
APARTMENT NEXT WEEKEND.
NEXT WEEKEND?
YES. ISN'T THAT NICE?
SHE CAN SPEND THE
WEEKEND WITH YOU AFTER ALL.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
WHAT A SHAME!
I PROMISED HELEN I'D GO
TO THE HEALTH SPA WITH HER.
BUT YOU AND MOTHER JEFFERSON
ENJOY YOURSELVES TOGETHER!
♪♪ [HUMMING]
THE JEFFERSONS WAS VIDEOTAPED
IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪
♪ IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT
A PIECE OF THE PIE ♪
♪ FISH DON'T FRY
IN THE KITCHEN ♪
♪ BEANS DON'T
BURN ON THE GRILL ♪
♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN' ♪
♪ JUST TO GET UP THAT HILL ♪
♪ NOW WE'RE UP IN
THE BIG LEAGUES ♪
♪ GETTIN' OUR TURN AT BAT ♪
♪ AS LONG AS WE LIVE ♪
♪ IT'S YOU AND ME, BABY ♪
♪ THERE AIN'T NOTHIN'
WRONG WITH THAT ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪
♪ IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A
PIECE OF THE PIE ♪♪
AND 17...
17.
18.
18.
DON'T BEND YOUR KNEES.
OK.
19.19.
20.20.
I DIDN'T BEND MY KNEES.
OK, JUST LIE DOWN FOR
A MINUTE AND RELAX.
NOW THAT I CAN DO.
YOU'LL FEEL LIKE A NEW PERSON
AS SOON AS WE WORK
THROUGH THIS BOOK.
TOMORROW I'LL SHOW
YOU HOW TO DO A FACIAL.
FACIAL?
IT'S GOOD FOR YOUR SKIN.
WHY DON'T YOU SHOW ME
HOW TO GET US COLD DRINKS?
COMING RIGHT UP.
OH, MY GOD! WEEZY!
WEEZY! TALK TO ME!
HELLO, GEORGE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?
EXERCISING.
YOU CALL LAYIN' ON THE
FLOOR SCARIN' ME EXERCISING?
WELL, RIGHT NOW I'M RELAXING.
[DOORBELL]
DO ME A FAVOR. NEXT TIME
YOU RELAX, KEEP ON MOVING.
HELLO, MR. J. I'M OFF.
I'VE ALWAYS KNOWN THAT.
GEORGE!
NO, I'M OFF TO THE MOUNTAINS.
COME IN, MR. BENTLEY.
HI, GEORGE, MR. BENTLEY.
I GOT WEIRDOS COMIN'
OUT OF EVERY DOOR!
WHO'S HIDIN' IN THE
BATHROOM, THE TY-D-BOL MAN?
LOUISE AND I WERE
EXERCISING TOGETHER.
YOU EVER TRY THIS ONE?
WHAT WILL THAT DO?
TAKE YOU BACK TO YOUR APARTMENT.
WE CAN FINISH LATER, LOUISE.
MEANWHILE, YOU CAN
TEACH GEORGE EXERCISES
TO IMPROVE HIS COORDINATION.
COORDINATION? I GOT
PERFECT COORDINATION.
I MEAN COORDINATION BETWEEN
YOUR BRAIN AND YOUR MOUTH.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
YOUR WIFE IS
BABYSITTING MY PLANTS.
HERE ARE MY KEYS.
IT'S REALLY WONDERFUL
TO GET AWAY.
GOOD. BYE.
THE CASCADING STREAMS,
THE SCENTED PINES,
THE BEAUTY OF VIRGINIA.
ISN'T VIRGINIA FAR
AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND?
VIRGINIA'S IN NEW JERSEY.
REALLY?
I MEAN MY FRIEND
VIRGINIA, NOT THE STATE.
ALTHOUGH SHE'S IN
A LOVELY STATE, TOO.
WE'RE GOING CAMPING
IN THE ADIRONDACKS.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN.
NOT FOR VIRGINIA!
HEY, MARCUS!
HEY, EVERYBODY!
COME IN.
HOW'S MY BEST NEW EMPLOYEE?
I DON'T KNOW, BUT I'M FINE!
I FIGURED I'D DROP
OFF THIS CLEANING.
THANKS, MARCUS.
HOW DO YOU FIND YOUR JOB?
I JUMP OFF THE BUS
AND LOOK FOR A SIGN
SAYING, "JEFFERSON CLEANERS."
JUST JIVIN', MR. BENTLEY.
MY JOB IS GOING GREAT.
MRS. JEFFERSON,
I APPRECIATE YOU
GETTIN' ME THIS WORK.
OH, DON'T THANK ME.
THANK ME. I'M PAYIN' YOU.
WHY THE BIG BOOTS, MR. BENTLEY?
GOIN' COCKROACH KILLING?
OH, NO. I DON'T BELIEVE
IN BLOOD SPORTS.
I'M GOING HIKING.
YEAH?
I'LL LOG 20 MILES
ON MY PEDOMETER.
YOU TAKIN' A MOTORBIKE?
A PEDOMETER MEASURES
HOW FAR YOU'VE WALKED.
SEE?
DOES IT REALLY WORK?
IT'S QUITE ACCURATE.
CAN IT MEASURE FROM
HERE TO THE ELEVATOR?
DEFINITELY.
IT'S EXACTLY...
WHERE'S MR. BENTLEY GOIN'?
HE'S GOING CAMPING.
CAMPIN'! THAT SOUNDS GREAT.
YOU LIKE CAMPING, MARCUS?
I AIN'T NEVER BEEN.
THAT'S A SHAME.
MY DAD PROMISED
TO TAKE ME CAMPIN'
ON MY BIRTHDAY LAST YEAR,
BUT WE NEVER WENT.
I HAD MY HEART ALL SET ON IT.
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME OF
FLORENCE'S UPSIDE-DOWN CAKE?
SURE!
CUT YOURSELF A PIECE.
THERE'S A KNIFE AND
FORK IN THE DRAWER.
IF THAT DON'T WORK,
THERE'S A HAMMER
AND SAW IN THE CLOSET.
I FEEL SORRY FOR MARCUS.
ME, TOO. HAVING TO
EAT FLORENCE'S COOKIN'!
HE REALLY WANTS TO GO CAMPING.
SO?
NOBODY WILL TAKE HIM!
WE'RE ALL OUT OF SCOTCH.
I WISH I COULD DO SOMETHING.
FIND ME SOME SCOTCH.
LET'S ASK MR. BENTLEY.
BENTLEY DRINKS
SCOTCH. GIVE ME HIS KEYS.
I MEANT MAYBE MR. BENTLEY
WOULD TAKE HIM CAMPING SOMETIME.
MAYBE YOU COULD TAKE HIM.
ME?
YEAH.
I HATE CAMPIN'.
WHEN HAVE YOU BEEN CAMPING?
NEVER. WHY DO SOMETHIN' I HATE?
GEORGE...
HIS FATHER CAN TAKE
MARCUS CAMPING.
HIS FATHER ALREADY
BROKE ONE PROMISE.
HE'S PROBABLY TOO BUSY,
LIKE YOU WERE WHEN
LIONEL WAS A KID.
I WASN'T TOO BUSY.
I WAS TOO BROKE.
YOU'RE NOT TOO BROKE NOW.
NO. NOW I'M TOO SMART.
YOU'VE GOT THE TIME AND MONEY.
YOU COULD TAKE HIM CAMPING.
I DON'T WANT TO, SO FORGET IT.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
YOU'RE BEING VERY SELFISH.
NO, I AIN'T.
YEAH. WHO'S THIS?
HI, MAMA, HOW ARE YOU?
MAN, MRS. JEFFERSON,
THIS CAKE IS REAL GOOD.
DON'T SPOIL YOUR DINNER.
MY MOM DOES THAT
WHEN SHE COOKS IT.
I BETTER BE GOIN'.
ARE YOU WORKING
TOMORROW, MARCUS?
I GOT TO BE THERE AT 9:00.
NO, YOU DON'T.
ARE YOU FIRIN' ME?
NO. YOU AND ME
ARE GOING CAMPIN'.
WE GOIN' TO THE MOUNTAINS?
RIGHT ON.
ALL RIGHT!
I TOLD YOU HE'D LIKE IT.
CAN WE HANDLE IT?
I DON'T KNOW NOTHIN'
ABOUT CAMPING. DO YOU?
SURE.
YOU DO?
YOU DRIVE TO THE WOODS,
PARK YOUR CAR, GET OUT,
WALK UNTIL YOU FIND
GRASS, AND SIT DOWN.
AND I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T
KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT CAMPING.
WELL?
OK. ARE YOU SURE?
SURE I'M SURE.
LET'S RENT EQUIPMENT
BEFORE THE STORES CLOSE.
BYE, MRS. JEFFERSON.
GEORGE.
I'M GLAD YOU CHANGED YOUR
MIND. YOU'RE WONDERFUL.
MARCUS WANTS TO GO CAMPIN'.
SOMEBODY SHOULD TAKE
HIM. I ALMOST FORGOT.
THAT WAS MAMA WHO CALLED.
SHE'S HAVIN' HER APARTMENT
PAINTED TOMORROW.
SO?
I TOLD HER SHE COULD
SPEND THE WEEKEND WITH US.
WITH US? BUT YOU'RE
GOING CAMPING.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT!
WHAT A SHAME! I'LL MISS THE FUN.
WELL, YOU AND MAMA ENJOY
YOURSELVES TOGETHER.
YOU SURE YOU KNOW
HOW TO DO THIS?
OF COURSE I'M SURE!
ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS
KEEP THESE POLES TIGHT.
TAKE OUT SOME SLACK ON YOUR END.
ANY IDIOT CAN PUT UP A TENT.
HEY!
HOLD IT, HOLD IT. I
KNOW WHAT I'M DOIN'.
I DON'T THINK IT'S
SUPPOSED TO DO THAT.
AIN'T NO TENT GONNA
BEAT GEORGE JEFFERSON.
I'LL DO IT LATER.
MAYBE WE COULD SLEEP
ON IT INSTEAD OF IN IT.
WE DON'T EVEN NEED NO TENT.
REAL CAMPERS SLEEP UNDER STARS.
THERE'S A FULL MOON.
FULL MOON?
THAT'LL GIVE MORE
LIGHT FOR THE COUGARS.
WHAT YOU TALKIN' ABOUT? THEY
DON'T ALLOW AUTOMOBILES UP HERE.
I MEANT MOUNTAIN LIONS.
WHAT'RE YOU TALKIN'
LIKE THAT FOR?
I DIDN'T MEAN TO SCARE YOU.
YOU CAN'T SCARE ME WITH
NO MOUNTAIN LION TALK.
WHY DON'T YOU GET SOME
WOOD TO BUILD A CAMPFIRE?
ME?
GO IN THERE?
YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE SO BIG AND BAD.
RIGHT.
[OWL HOOTING]
MAYBE I'LL GET LUCKY
AND FIND A GIRL SCOUT.
IF YOU DO, BRING ME
BACK SOME COOKIES.
MOUNTAIN LIONS LIVE IN
MOUNTAINS, NOT IN TREES.
WHAT'S THAT?
OH, A PINE CONE. YOU'RE LUCKY!
♪ OH, GIVE ME A HOME ♪
♪ WHERE THE BUFFALO ROAM ♪
♪ WHERE THE DEER AND
THE CANTALOUPE PLAY ♪
HOWDY.
WHAT'S THE IDEA, SNEAKING
UP AND SCARING ME?
SORRY, PAL.
WHEN YOU'RE HUNTIN',
YOU LEARN TO MOVE QUIET.
WELL, THERE AIN'T NO
ANIMALS AROUND HERE.
BARNEY HUNTER.
GEORGE, DRY CLEANER.
MY LAST NAME'S
HUNTER. BARNEY HUNTER.
YOU A CITY BOY?
WHO YOU CALLIN' "BOY"?
YOU'RE FROM THE CITY, RIGHT?
HOW'D YOU KNOW?
AIN'T MANY OF YOU FOLKS AROUND.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "YOU FOLKS"?
DRY CLEANERS.
QUIET.
WHAT?
DON'T MOVE.
DON'T SHOOT!
I AIN'T GOT NO MONEY!
IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S MARCUS.
SORRY, BUT YOU COULD
HAVE BEEN SOMETHIN'.
DEAD!
BOSS, YOU WOULDN'T
BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED.
I WAS PICKIN' UP WOOD
AND SOMETHING RAN PAST.
WHAT?
I DIDN'T STOP TO ASK.
I HEARD IT GROWL.
JUST PROBABLY A WOLF.
WOLF? WOLF?
NOTHIN' TO BE SCARED OF.
NOTHIN' TO BE SCARED OF, MARCUS.
I'LL BE GETTIN' HOME.
YOU LIVE AROUND HERE?
YEP. AIN'T NOTHIN' BETTER
THAN LIVING IN THE WOODS.
I LIVE IN THE CITY.
IF YOU'RE EVER
THERE, LOOK ME UP.
I AIN'T BEEN THERE
IN A COON'S AGE.
I MEAN, IN A LONG TIME.
WELL, TAKE CARE OF
YOURSELVES, YOU HEAR?
WE'D BETTER START THIS FIRE,
OR WE'LL FREEZE TO DEATH.
THIS IS FUN OUT HERE, AIN'T IT?
IT IS?
IT'S BETTER THAN BEIN' AT HOME.
MAMA'S PROBABLY
DRIVIN' WEEZY CRAZY.
WE HAVE THE WEEKEND
TO OURSELVES.
NO TOM, NO GEORGE.
NO MOTHER JEFFERSON!
I'M SO GLAD SHE DIDN'T COME
FOR THE WEEKEND AFTER ALL.
HELEN?
HMM?
HOW LONG DO I KEEP THIS ON?
LET IT SET FOR A FEW DAYS.
A FEW DAYS!
JUST KIDDING. LET IT
SET FOR 10 MINUTES.
DON'T LAUGH, OR
YOUR FACE WILL CRACK.
I HOPE IT ALL COMES OFF.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
IF GEORGE SAW ME LIKE
THIS, HE'D TURN WHITE!
HELLO.
MRS. JEFFERSON?
HI, RALPH.
IS YOUR HUSBAND HERE?
HE'S OUT OF TOWN.
OH, THAT'S A SHAME.
WHY?
STEVIE WONDER'S GIVING A
BENEFIT CONCERT TONIGHT.
GEORGE COULDN'T GET TICKETS.
HE MENTIONED IF I
COULD GET TWO TICKETS,
HE'D MAKE IT WORTHWHILE.
SINCE HE'S NOT HERE...
WAIT, RALPH. YOU HAVE TICKETS
FOR STEVIE WONDER'S CONCERT?
YES, MA'AM.
YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT I DID
TO GET THESE TICKETS.
I CALLED DOORMEN AND SCALPERS,
TRIED TO BRIBE A CABBY.
I'LL FIND SOMEONE
WHO WANTS THEM.
HELEN, DO YOU WANT TO GO?
I'D LOVE TO.
HOW MUCH DID
MR. JEFFERSON SAY HE'D PAY?
HE DIDN'T, BUT YOU
KNOW HOW GENEROUS
MR. JEFFERSON IS.
I GUESS YOU DON'T.
THESE ARE THE BEST
SEATS IN THE HOUSE.
THAT'S IT, RALPH.
AS A FAVOR TO YOU,
MRS. JEFFERSON.
THANKS A LOT, RALPH.
MRS. JEFFERSON, YOUR FACE...
I KNOW, IT'S WHITE.
NO. IT'S CRACKED.
STEVIE WONDER!
GEORGE WILL BE
SO MAD HE MISSED IT.
GIRL, YOU CAN REALLY GET DOWN,
FOR A HONKY.
ISN'T THIS GREAT?
NO TRAFFIC.
NO BATHROOM.
NO CUSTOMERS COMPLAININ'
ABOUT THEIR CLEANING.
NO PLACE TO BUY A HOT HAMBURGER.
NO WILLISES.
NOBODY TO HELP IF
SOMETHIN' HAPPENS.
LIKE WHAT?
LIKE SOME WILD ANIMAL
COMIN' AFTER US, LIKE A BEAR.
IF A BEAR COMES AROUND HERE,
I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO DO.
WHAT?
THROW IT ONE OF THOSE
SANDWICHES FLORENCE MADE.
IF THAT DON'T KILL
IT, NOTHIN' WILL.
MR. JEFFERSON, YOU'RE A NICE GUY
FOR TAKIN' ME CAMPING.
MAYBE YOUR FATHER
WILL TAKE YOU SOMETIME.
AIN'T NO CHANCE OF THAT.
SURE THERE IS.
NO, THERE AIN'T.
MAYBE HE HAD A REASON
FOR NOT TAKIN' YOU BEFORE.
HE DIED, MAN.
YOUR FATHER'S DEAD?
HE DIED TWO WEEKS
BEFORE MY LAST BIRTHDAY.
AND YOU'RE STILL MAD AT HIM
FOR NOT TAKING YOU CAMPING?
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I UNDERSTAND. YOU
DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHAT?
YOU AIN'T MAD ABOUT CAMPIN'.
YOU'RE MAD ABOUT HIS DYIN'.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE
HAVIN' AN OLD MAN WHO MAKES
PROMISES HE DOESN'T KEEP.
WHAT KIND OF PROMISES?
LIKE PLAYIN' BASEBALL.
I REMEMBER SITTING ON THE STOOP
WITH MY RAGGEDY MITT,
WAITIN' FOR HIM TO COME HOME
SO WE COULD PLAY CATCH.
BUT WHEN HE CAME HOME,
HE WAS SO TIRED
FROM LOADIN' TRUCKS,
HE BARELY MADE IT
DOWN THE SIDEWALK.
I ASKED HIM TO PLAY CATCH,
BUT HE DIDN'T HAVE
ENOUGH ENERGY.
HE'D SIT ME ON HIS
KNEE AND SAY, "MARCUS,
"SOMEDAY THINGS WILL GET BETTER.
"WE'LL HAVE ALL KINDS
OF TIME TO PLAY BALL.
I PROMISE."
THINGS NEVER DID GET BETTER.
MARCUS, LOOK...
ALL I GOT LEFT IS AN OLD
MITT AND BROKEN PROMISES.
MARCUS, I KNOW. MY
FATHER DIED WHEN I WAS 10.
HE DID?
HE MADE PROMISES
HE COULDN'T KEEP.
WEREN'T YOU MAD?
I WAS AT FIRST.
THEN I REALIZED HE DIDN'T
BELIEVE THOSE PROMISES.
YOUR FATHER PROBABLY
DIDN'T BELIEVE THEM EITHER.
WHY DID HE LIE?
HE DIDN'T LIE.
HE GAVE YOU SOMETHIN'
TO LOOK FORWARD TO.
WITHOUT PROMISES OF
THINGS GETTIN' BETTER,
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE
HAD ANYTHING TO GO ON.
HE SHOULDN'T HAVE MADE
PROMISES THAT WOULDN'T COME TRUE.
THEM PROMISES CAN COME TRUE.
HOW?
WELL, IT AIN'T EASY.
IT'S UP TO YOU TO
MAKE THEM COME TRUE.
YOUR FATHER DIED TRYIN'.
YOU COULD BLAME YOUR FATHER,
WHICH WON'T CHANGE
NOTHIN', WHICH IS STUPID.
MR. JEFFERSON...
LOOK WHAT YOU'RE DOIN'. YOU
BURNED YOUR MARSHMALLOW.
HERE.
REMINDS ME OF THE WILLISES.
YOU NEED A NEW STICK.
I'LL MAKE THOSE
PROMISES GOOD, DAD.
I PROMISE.
HEY, YOU ALL RIGHT?
I'M FINE.
I GOT SOME SMOKE IN MY EYES.
ENJOYIN' YOURSELF?
YEAH.
THIS CAMPIN' AIN'T HALF-BAD.
[HOWL]
IT AIN'T HALF-GOOD, NEITHER.
I KNOW A BETTER
PLACE TO PITCH CAMP.
WHERE?
THE NEAREST MOTEL.
ALL RIGHT!
[HOWL]
HURRY!
I FEEL GREAT, HELEN.
THIS WEEKEND DID ME GOOD.
WASN'T THAT A FABULOUS CONCERT?
WHAT?
HE'S NOT BACK YET.
HE AND MARCUS MUST
BE ENJOYING THEMSELVES.
WEEZY, GUESS WHO'S BACK.
SPEAK OF THE DEVIL,
AND IN HE WALKS.
BYE.
DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME?
WE HAD A GREAT TIME,
LYIN' UNDER THE STARS,
LISTENIN' TO THE
PEACE AND QUIET.
THAT'S WONDERFUL.
DID MARCUS ENJOY HIMSELF, TOO?
YEAH, BUT HE WAS SCARED
OF THOSE MOUNTAIN LIONS.
MOUNTAIN LIONS?
THEY DON'T BOTHER YOU.
JUST STARE THEM DOWN.
AFTER MARCUS SAW I KNEW
WHAT TO DO, HE WASN'T SCARED.
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU. I
THOUGHT YOU'D BE SCARED.
I BROUGHT YOU A LITTLE SOUVENIR.
WHAT'S THAT?
IT'S A PINE CONE.
I CLIMBED A BIG OAK
TREE TO GET YOU THIS.
I MEAN THAT.
THAT'S MY FOOT.
MOVE IT, GEORGE.
DON'T YOU WANT TO
SEE THE PINE CONE?
THE FOREST LODGE
MOTEL. GEORGE, WHAT...
IT GOT COLD. ME AND MARCUS...
STAYED IN A NICE,
COMFORTABLE MOTEL.
IT WASN'T THAT NICE.
IS MAMA HERE?
NO.
SHE LEFT ALREADY?
SHE NEVER CAME OVER.
WHY NOT?
A PAINTER GOT SICK.
THEY'LL PAINT HER
APARTMENT NEXT WEEKEND.
NEXT WEEKEND?
YES. ISN'T THAT NICE?
SHE CAN SPEND THE
WEEKEND WITH YOU AFTER ALL.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
WHAT A SHAME!
I PROMISED HELEN I'D GO
TO THE HEALTH SPA WITH HER.
BUT YOU AND MOTHER JEFFERSON
ENJOY YOURSELVES TOGETHER!
♪♪ [HUMMING]
THE JEFFERSONS WAS VIDEOTAPED
IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.