The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 3, Episode 18 - Louise vs. Jenny - full transcript
While visiting his parents' apartment, Lionel became sick. Louise decides to take care of him and tend to his needs, but Jenny insists he return home with her. Louise tells Jenny that as Lionel's mother, she knows what is best for him; however, Jenny disagrees, saying that she is now his wife and being there for him while he is sick is a priority. While the argument continues, Louise discovers that she is acting just like Mother Jefferson when she was babying George around.
♪ Well, we're movin' on up ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the East Side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To a deluxe
apartment In the sky ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the East Side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ We've finally got
A piece of the pie ♪
♪ Fish don't fry
In the kitchen ♪
♪ Beans don't
burn On the grill ♪
♪ Took a whole lot of tryin' ♪
♪ Just to get up that hill ♪
♪ Now we're up
In the big leagues ♪
♪ Gettin' our turn at bat ♪
♪ As long as we live
It's you and me, baby ♪
♪ There ain't nothin'
Wrong with that ♪
♪ Well, we're movin' on up ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the East Side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To a deluxe
apartment In the sky ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the East Side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ We've finally got
A piece of the pie ♪♪
Pass the salt.
Pass the salt what?
Pass the salt, Weezy.
Haven't you forgotten something?
Oh, yeah! Pass the pepper too.
When you ask for something,
it's nice to say "please."
Don't you have any manners?
Manners? Manners
are for strangers.
I don't need no manners
in my own house.
Then treat me like a
stranger and say "please."
Okay, please get off my case
and give me the salt and pepper.
Well?
Well, what?
I didn't hear a "thank you."
That's because I didn't say one.
George... Weezy,
there's lots of times
you don't say thank you to me.
Like when?
Like last night.
[LAUGHS]
Me say "thank you"?
You should have
said, "Excuse me."
Oh, that's telling him, Mom!
Don't you know it's impolite
to talk with your mouth full?
Would you like another
slice of ham, Lionel?
No, thanks, Mom.
I'm not really hungry.
Come on, Lionel. You better eat.
Your mother invited you over
so you could get a good
home-cooked meal for a change.
Oh, George. I'll bet
Jenny is a wonderful cook.
Oh, yeah? How
much you wanna bet?
[LAUGHS]
She can't cook, huh?
She's learning fast, though.
I hope she learns faster
than your mother did.
When we first got married,
the only thing she could
fix was fried chicken.
I ate so much chicken I
thought I was growing feathers.
Maybe that's why you
still lay so many eggs.
Mom, you know Jenny and I
have almost been
married for two months now,
and I don't think we've
had the same meal twice.
Well, what about leftovers?
Oh, we never have leftovers.
Jenny's too smart for that.
She just cooks
enough for one meal.
Well, my mother used
to do the same thing,
but we didn't call
it "being smart,"
we called it "being poor."
Hey, Lionel, how's
your apartment coming?
Got all your furniture
yet? Not quite.
What have you got?
A kitchen table,
two chairs and a bed.
That's all?
When you're
newlyweds, that's enough.
I offered to help her decorate,
but she turned me down.
Oh, now, you know Jenny.
She likes to do
things her own way.
I wouldn't have stopped her
from doing things her way.
I'd just tell her when
she was wrong.
Okay, Mom. I'll talk to her.
You know, you and
Jenny are very lucky
to have a place of your own.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
When we were first married,
your father and I had
to live with his mother.
Mmm, that drove me crazy.
Weezy and Mama
was always fighting.
They weren't as
close as they are now.
Hello, Mrs. Jefferson, ma'am.
I came up just as soon as I
got your husband's message.
Hey, Ralph! Come
on in! Yes, sir!
I want you to do
me a favor. Yes, sir!
As long as I have
to work on Sunday,
and since I can't
spend the day in church,
I might as well do something
nice for my favorite tenant.
Oh! Here. Why, thank you, sir.
Wait, wait, wait! That ain't a
tip, that's my mother's address.
I want you to grab a
cab and go pick her up.
Yes, sir.
Ah, that looks beautiful.
Ralph, would you care
for a bite before you go?
No, I couldn't, Mrs. Jefferson.
No, he couldn't.
He can't keep
Mama waiting all day.
What I meant, sir, is I'm on
a very strict food program.
You mean a diet?
I mean the Milton
Center for Weight Control.
Oh, yeah. I heard about that.
They give you electric
shock treatment
to make you stop eating
certain foods, right?
Right. And the worst shock is
when they hit you with the bill.
You mean you're paying someone
to give you electric shocks?
Oh, yes, ma'am!
You see, what they try to do
is make eating a very
unpleasant experience.
That's what Jenny's trying
to do to you, huh, Lionel?
Now, take this piece
of pie, for example.
Now, pumpkin pie has
always been a problem for me.
But now they've
got me programmed
to be completely turned
off and disgusted by it.
But that's not pumpkin.
It's sweet potato.
Oh. Then I can have some.
We haven't gotten
around to this yet.
Ralph, don't you
have something to do?
Yes, sir.
Right away, sir.
Has the program made
any difference in your weight?
Oh, yes, ma'am.
So far I've gained 7 pounds.
Do you think your mother
should go out with her bad foot?
Well, she can't go out
and leave it at home.
How did Grandma
break her ankle anyway?
See, when I asked
her, she wouldn't tell me.
That's because she's
too embarrassed.
And why would she be embarrassed
about breaking her ankle?
Because she broke
it while playing bingo.
Playing bingo?
Yes.
She won the jackpot,
and then she
jumped up and yelled,
"The good Lord smiles
on those he loves."
And while he was still smiling,
she tripped over her
handbag and broke her ankle.
From now on,
when Mama plays bingo,
she'd better wear a seatbelt.
Hey, Pop, how's she
managing all alone
if she's stuck in a wheelchair
and her foot's in a cast?
Well, it's easy.
Some of the ladies
from her church
are taking turns helping out.
I went to see her yesterday.
The weather was so nice
I wanted to take her
out in her wheelchair,
but she wouldn't let me.
Why not?
She said, "Oh, no, Louise.
You're not gonna
push me around."
That sounds just like Mom.
I wish they'd put a
cast on her tongue.
Mom!
You know something, Weezy?
I'm about ready for some
of that sweet potato pie.
Oh! How about you, Lionel?
It's your favorite.
Mmm, no, thanks, Mom.
All of a sudden I don't
feel very hungry anymore.
I'm really sorry.
Don't be sorry, Lionel. I'll
be glad to eat your share.
Are you feeling all right?
I'm just feeling a
little queasy, that's all.
Let me feel your forehead.
I think you've got a fever.
I'm gonna take your temperature.
Ma, you don't have to!
Oh, yes, I do!
One hothead in
this house is plenty.
Lionel, you haven't been
working too hard, have you?
No, Pop.
I don't want you working
so hard you get sick.
I won't, Pop.
Because if you get sick,
you'll have to miss work.
Okay, Lionel. Open up.
Mom, you're not gonna put
that thermometer in my mouth.
Well, you've got
one other choice.
He doesn't look good.
You wouldn't look good either
with that thing sticking
out of your face.
Do you think I
should call a doctor?
What for?
All he's gonna say
is "Take two aspirins,
drink lots of liquids and
where should I send the bill?"
I'm worried.
This is the same time of year
Lionel caught pneumonia
when he was nine.
Oh, Weezy!
[MUMBLES]
Huh?
What did you say?
[MUMBLES]
I told you not to talk
with your mouth full!
I said I don't think
I have pneumonia.
Well, you've got something.
Your temperature's over 100.
It is?
Come on, Lionel.
I'm putting you to bed.
No, Mom.
Don't argue with me!
Mom, Jenny is coming
here right from the library.
We'll go home and I'll
jump in bed, I promise.
By that time you might be dead.
Mom, I am all right!
Look, you've got a fever,
and I'm gonna put you
to bed, and that's that.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
You better do like
your mother says.
If you don't let her
cure you, she'll kill you.
Hi, Mr. Jefferson.
Oh, hi, Jenny.
What are all those books for?
I got a heavy test
tomorrow in Black History.
Ah! Well, you should
get half the answers right.
You know something,
Mr. Jefferson?
You got a wonderful
sense of humor.
Thank you.
Why don't you try
using it sometime?
Watch yourself, young lady.
Where's Lionel? He's in bed.
Oh, you mean he
went home already?
No, he's here, in his old room.
Hi, Jenny! Hi, Mrs. Jefferson.
Why is Lionel in bed?
Oh, he's got a fever
so I made him lie down.
Oh, I better see
how he's feeling.
Oh, not yet.
Why not?
He's getting undressed.
So?
Oh, I forgot!
You're married now,
so I guess it's all right.
Oh, how do you feel, honey?
Like an old tennis
ball, no bounce.
Ohh!
Oh, he is warm!
Well, come on, Lionel.
We better get you home.
Home?
You can't take him out in this
cold. He'll catch pneumonia.
He'll be all right,
Mrs. Jefferson.
We're gonna grab a taxi
and be home in a flash.
Come on, baby.
Jenny!
I think it's better
if he stays here.
Will you two cut it
out? I feel like a yo-yo!
The best place for
him is in his own home,
where I can take care of him.
Oh, now, how you gonna do that?
You go to school during the day.
I can take a couple of days off.
Oh, it's silly of you to do that
when I can take
care of him here.
I'll put some clean
sheets on the bed,
set up the vaporizer...
Oh, but first, I've gotta
get the hot-water bottle
and a pair of pajamas.
Lionel doesn't wear
pajamas anymore.
No wonder he got sick.
All right. Get dressed
and let's go home.
Oh, now, wait a minute, Jenny.
Let's talk about
this first, okay?
Now, what is
there to talk about?
I only wanna do
what's best for you.
Well, so does Mom.
Are you saying you
wanna stay here?
I didn't say that.
Well, then, you want to go home.
No, I didn't say that either.
You better make up your mind.
Do you wanna go
home where you belong
or do you wanna stay
here with your mother?
Jenny, I don't understand
why you're getting so upset.
Well, it's just that
I'm your wife, honey,
and taking care of
you is my responsibility.
But, Jenny...
Come on, don't "but, Jenny" me!
Now, are we gonna
go home or not?
I mean, Mom is
going to all this trouble!
All right, all right. Stay here.
You know, I didn't marry
a man. I married a baby.
First time something goes wrong,
he goes running
home to his mommy.
Wait a minute!
Where are you going?
Up to see my mother!
Ohhh!
[CRUNCHES]
[CRUNCHES]
Must you crunch like that?
Crunching is half the fun.
You don't know you're
eating them unless you crunch.
The whole building
knows you're eating them.
[CRUNCHES] Helen!
You're supposed to crunch them.
That's why they're
called Crunchos.
Well, would you please
crunch them quietly?
I'm trying to concentrate.
You've been concentrating
for the last two minutes.
You're running out
of time. Ha-ha-ha!
Hi.
Oh, hi, Jenny.
To what do we owe
this pleasant surprise?
I just thought I'd stop by,
see how you two were doing.
I'm losing. Ohh!
How's Lionel? I
think he's got the flu.
Oh, what a shame.
Is he home in bed?
Yes and no. Huh?
He's in bed, but he is not home.
He's not in hospital, is he?
No. He's not that sick.
Oi, but his mama
is acting like he is.
What do you mean?
Lionel is downstairs
in his old bed
because his mother
insists on taking care of him.
What do you think about that?
Super!
What's super about it?
That's my word: S-U-P-E-R.
Ah, let's see.
That's six, 12, a double
word. Twenty-four points.
Ha-ha-ha! I'm
catching up, Helen!
[CRUNCHES]
Daddy, don't you think Lionel
should go home with me?
After all, I'm his
wife. That's true.
How long is it gonna take his
mama to cut the apron strings?
I don't know.
When we got married, Tom's
mother didn't cut the strings,
she burned the whole apron.
And you were
wearing it at the time.
How do you think I got this tan?
Well, it's my job to
take care of Lionel now.
And I can do it just as
well as his mother can.
Well, sometimes
mothers do know best.
What has that got
to do with anything?
Lionel is supposed
to stay with me
for richer, for poorer, in
sickness and in health.
You sound as if you
were jealous of Louise.
I am not. That would be silly.
Yeah. It would be, wouldn't it?
Will someone tell me when Lionel
is gonna stop
listening to his mother?
After all, he's not
a kid anymore.
Doesn't anybody agree with me?
I think you should
talk to Lionel,
and let him decide where
he wants to spend the night.
Yeah. You're right.
I'll let Lionel decide.
He'll come home with me.
If he doesn't, he
ain't gonna be sick,
he's gonna be unconscious.
Bye.
TOM: Bye. HELEN: Bye, baby.
I was wondering how soon
Jenny and Lionel would have
their first married fight.
Yeah, when you're
young like that,
it's crazy how
arguments can start
over silly little things.
Oh, they'll grow out of it
after they've been
married a while.
You're right.
They'll learn it's only worth
fighting over important things.
Well, my turn.
No. It's, uh, my turn. You
played "super," remember?
Oh, that's right.
Then I turned over the
timer to start your turn,
and your time has run out,
so it's my turn again.
But I was talking to Jenny.
I'm sorry, Helen.
Rules are rules.
It's my turn! It's my turn!
You're a cheat!
A cheat? Oh, boy,
are you a sore loser!
I'm not losing, I'm winning.
That's why you're
trying to cheat!
Don't call me a cheat! I'd
be winning this game if you...
Cheat! Cheat! Cheat!
[BOTH YELLING]
Mmm!
Mmm! Boy, that sweet
potato pie is out of sight.
It's out of sight, all right.
How many pieces
did you put away?
Only three.
Only three?
The whole pie is gone!
Well, it's easier
to cut big pieces.
And I wanted some
left for Helen to try.
Let her get her own pie.
Can you get me some seltzer?
Seltzer?
Yeah, for my stomach.
It's hard as a rock.
Good. Now it matches your head.
Come on, Weezy. I need
something to get rid of this gas.
We don't have any seltzer.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
There must be
something I can take.
Take a walk to the door.
The exercise will do you good.
Well, it's all your fault.
If you hadn't made the
pie, I wouldn't have ate it.
Hello again, Mr. Jefferson.
Hi, Jenny. You got
anything for gas?
Yeah. A credit card.
Oh, forget it.
No, I just want one
quick word with Lionel.
Oh, go ahead.
Thank you.
I don't think you should go
in there now. Lionel's resting.
Don't worry. I only want to
speak with him for a moment.
You can talk to
him in the morning.
But I... Just go home
and take it easy.
Lionel will be fine here.
I'll call you tomorrow and
let you know how he's doing.
Mrs. Jefferson,
if Lionel is sick,
I'm the one who should
be taking care of him.
But what if you catch
what Lionel's got?
Then you'll be sick.
Good. Then we'll
be sick together.
Oh, that's silly.
Look, Mrs. Jefferson, I
know what's best for Lionel.
You know what's best for him?
I've been taking care of
him since he was a baby.
Well, haven't you noticed
he isn't a baby anymore?
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Jenny, I resent you telling
me how to treat my son.
He's not your son.
He's my husband!
Well, I'm not gonna
argue with you anymore!
[DOORBELL RINGING]
Jenny!
You knew it was me,
didn't you, Louise?
What makes you say that?
Because you took so
long to open the door.
Well, I'm sorry. Come on in.
Hi, Mama! Good to see you!
How you feeling? Mm-mwah!
It hurts.
Well, a broken ankle
is supposed to hurt.
It's not my ankle that
hurts, it's my behind.
I guess sitting in
that wheelchair all day
must be pretty unpleasant.
You're so right.
I only wish I was as
well-padded as you are, Louise.
Thank you for bringing
Mama over, Ralph.
My pleasure, sir.
How much was the cab?
$17. Oh.
$17!
It only costs $5 from
Mama's house to here.
Not if you take the
scenic route, sir,
around Central Park,
past Radio City...
What?! Why'd he do
a dumb thing like that?
Because I told him to.
Oh! That was a great idea, Ma.
Then we stopped in front
of the bakery for 15 minutes.
Oh? For what?
Your mother spotted a
friend walking her dog.
Oh, yes. Minnie Young.
I wanted her to
autograph my cast.
And while Mrs. Young
autographed your mother's leg,
her dog autographed mine.
Ain't that supposed
to mean good luck?
Only for the dog, sir.
Look, Ralph, just bring your
suit down to the store tomorrow
and I'll clean it for nothing.
Oh, no, sir. I insist on
paying you for your work.
Oh, thank you, Ralph.
Just as you insist on
paying me for mine.
Oh, yeah!
Why, thank you, sir. Yes, sir!
Ma'am, what time do you
want me to take you back home?
Well, that depends on how long
my daughter-in-law can
stand having me around.
Come back in
half an hour, Ralph.
She thinks she's making a joke.
But I'm sure I'll be
staying for dinner.
Yes, ma'am. After I've
had my bloody mary.
George, where's Lionel?
I want him to autograph my cast.
I made him lie down.
He wasn't feeling too
well after he finished lunch.
Oh, what a shame.
I hope Louise's cooking
didn't make you
sick too, George.
Uh, no, Mama. I feel okay.
That's good. Because I
made something for you.
Oh, great. What is it?
What is your favorite dessert?
Sweet potato pie.
Wrong! Raspberry cobbler.
Raspberry cobbler?
Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.
Been so long since I had any.
Louise, get George a plate.
No, no, no! I don't feel
like eating it right now, Ma.
Why not?
Well, my stomach
don't feel too good.
I knew it!
Louise's lunch
did make you sick.
Mama!
Mother Jefferson,
George isn't sick, he's just...
Louise, don't tell me. I know
when my own son is sick.
Don't worry, George.
I'll take care of you.
Please, Ma.
Show me into the
kitchen, George.
I'll fix you a bromo.
Mother Jefferson, I know
how to take care of him.
You know how to
take care of him! Hmph!
I've been taking care of
him since he was a baby.
Well, he's not a baby anymore!
Louise, I resent you telling
me how to treat my son!
He's not your son,
he's my husband!
GEORGE: Come on, Mama.
Oh, that woman!
She's acting just
like... LIONEL: Mom!
Just like...
Just like me.
Mrs. Jefferson, I don't care what
you say, I'm taking Lionel home.
That's a good idea.
And don't argue
with me about... It is?
Yes, and I want to
apologize, Jenny.
I guess that's what happens
when you become a mother-in-law.
What?
You start acting like one.
Oh.
How come we ain't got
nothing in this kitchen but food?
Oh, hi, Mother Jefferson.
Hi, Grandma. How
are you feeling?
I'm feeling fine, but I thought
you weren't feeling well.
I'll be feeling okay as soon I
get home and get some rest.
In their own bed.
I was just apologizing to Jenny
for coming between
her and Lionel.
I realize now that once
a son gets married,
a mother has to let go.
How right you are!
And, Jenny, you see that
you don't let her forget it.
George, come on.
Take me to the bedroom.
I have to take your temperature.
But, Mama... Don't
argue with me, George!
Yes, Mama.
And, Louise, call Ralph and
tell him not to come for me.
I'll have to stay
here for a few days.
Yes, Mother Jefferson!
I'll get your bloody
mary right away.
"And not too much tomato
juice. Don't drown the vodka."
Hey, hey, hey, Weezy.
What you looking for?
Arsenic!
Oh, come on, Weezy, look,
I know it's been rough taking
care of Mama for a whole week.
But I got a present
for you. A present?
Well, it's sort of a
little "I love you" gift.
Oh, George!
A 14-day cruise to the Bahamas.
What is this?
Some practical joke?
You know I get seasick!
The cruise ain't for us,
Weezy. It's for Mama!
I'm shipping her out tomorrow.
Oh, George!
That's the nicest present you
ever bought me. Mm-mwah!
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
ANNOUNCER: The Jeffersons was
videotaped in front of a studio audience.
♪ Movin', movin' up... ♪♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the East Side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To a deluxe
apartment In the sky ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the East Side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ We've finally got
A piece of the pie ♪
♪ Fish don't fry
In the kitchen ♪
♪ Beans don't
burn On the grill ♪
♪ Took a whole lot of tryin' ♪
♪ Just to get up that hill ♪
♪ Now we're up
In the big leagues ♪
♪ Gettin' our turn at bat ♪
♪ As long as we live
It's you and me, baby ♪
♪ There ain't nothin'
Wrong with that ♪
♪ Well, we're movin' on up ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the East Side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To a deluxe
apartment In the sky ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the East Side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ We've finally got
A piece of the pie ♪♪
Pass the salt.
Pass the salt what?
Pass the salt, Weezy.
Haven't you forgotten something?
Oh, yeah! Pass the pepper too.
When you ask for something,
it's nice to say "please."
Don't you have any manners?
Manners? Manners
are for strangers.
I don't need no manners
in my own house.
Then treat me like a
stranger and say "please."
Okay, please get off my case
and give me the salt and pepper.
Well?
Well, what?
I didn't hear a "thank you."
That's because I didn't say one.
George... Weezy,
there's lots of times
you don't say thank you to me.
Like when?
Like last night.
[LAUGHS]
Me say "thank you"?
You should have
said, "Excuse me."
Oh, that's telling him, Mom!
Don't you know it's impolite
to talk with your mouth full?
Would you like another
slice of ham, Lionel?
No, thanks, Mom.
I'm not really hungry.
Come on, Lionel. You better eat.
Your mother invited you over
so you could get a good
home-cooked meal for a change.
Oh, George. I'll bet
Jenny is a wonderful cook.
Oh, yeah? How
much you wanna bet?
[LAUGHS]
She can't cook, huh?
She's learning fast, though.
I hope she learns faster
than your mother did.
When we first got married,
the only thing she could
fix was fried chicken.
I ate so much chicken I
thought I was growing feathers.
Maybe that's why you
still lay so many eggs.
Mom, you know Jenny and I
have almost been
married for two months now,
and I don't think we've
had the same meal twice.
Well, what about leftovers?
Oh, we never have leftovers.
Jenny's too smart for that.
She just cooks
enough for one meal.
Well, my mother used
to do the same thing,
but we didn't call
it "being smart,"
we called it "being poor."
Hey, Lionel, how's
your apartment coming?
Got all your furniture
yet? Not quite.
What have you got?
A kitchen table,
two chairs and a bed.
That's all?
When you're
newlyweds, that's enough.
I offered to help her decorate,
but she turned me down.
Oh, now, you know Jenny.
She likes to do
things her own way.
I wouldn't have stopped her
from doing things her way.
I'd just tell her when
she was wrong.
Okay, Mom. I'll talk to her.
You know, you and
Jenny are very lucky
to have a place of your own.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
When we were first married,
your father and I had
to live with his mother.
Mmm, that drove me crazy.
Weezy and Mama
was always fighting.
They weren't as
close as they are now.
Hello, Mrs. Jefferson, ma'am.
I came up just as soon as I
got your husband's message.
Hey, Ralph! Come
on in! Yes, sir!
I want you to do
me a favor. Yes, sir!
As long as I have
to work on Sunday,
and since I can't
spend the day in church,
I might as well do something
nice for my favorite tenant.
Oh! Here. Why, thank you, sir.
Wait, wait, wait! That ain't a
tip, that's my mother's address.
I want you to grab a
cab and go pick her up.
Yes, sir.
Ah, that looks beautiful.
Ralph, would you care
for a bite before you go?
No, I couldn't, Mrs. Jefferson.
No, he couldn't.
He can't keep
Mama waiting all day.
What I meant, sir, is I'm on
a very strict food program.
You mean a diet?
I mean the Milton
Center for Weight Control.
Oh, yeah. I heard about that.
They give you electric
shock treatment
to make you stop eating
certain foods, right?
Right. And the worst shock is
when they hit you with the bill.
You mean you're paying someone
to give you electric shocks?
Oh, yes, ma'am!
You see, what they try to do
is make eating a very
unpleasant experience.
That's what Jenny's trying
to do to you, huh, Lionel?
Now, take this piece
of pie, for example.
Now, pumpkin pie has
always been a problem for me.
But now they've
got me programmed
to be completely turned
off and disgusted by it.
But that's not pumpkin.
It's sweet potato.
Oh. Then I can have some.
We haven't gotten
around to this yet.
Ralph, don't you
have something to do?
Yes, sir.
Right away, sir.
Has the program made
any difference in your weight?
Oh, yes, ma'am.
So far I've gained 7 pounds.
Do you think your mother
should go out with her bad foot?
Well, she can't go out
and leave it at home.
How did Grandma
break her ankle anyway?
See, when I asked
her, she wouldn't tell me.
That's because she's
too embarrassed.
And why would she be embarrassed
about breaking her ankle?
Because she broke
it while playing bingo.
Playing bingo?
Yes.
She won the jackpot,
and then she
jumped up and yelled,
"The good Lord smiles
on those he loves."
And while he was still smiling,
she tripped over her
handbag and broke her ankle.
From now on,
when Mama plays bingo,
she'd better wear a seatbelt.
Hey, Pop, how's she
managing all alone
if she's stuck in a wheelchair
and her foot's in a cast?
Well, it's easy.
Some of the ladies
from her church
are taking turns helping out.
I went to see her yesterday.
The weather was so nice
I wanted to take her
out in her wheelchair,
but she wouldn't let me.
Why not?
She said, "Oh, no, Louise.
You're not gonna
push me around."
That sounds just like Mom.
I wish they'd put a
cast on her tongue.
Mom!
You know something, Weezy?
I'm about ready for some
of that sweet potato pie.
Oh! How about you, Lionel?
It's your favorite.
Mmm, no, thanks, Mom.
All of a sudden I don't
feel very hungry anymore.
I'm really sorry.
Don't be sorry, Lionel. I'll
be glad to eat your share.
Are you feeling all right?
I'm just feeling a
little queasy, that's all.
Let me feel your forehead.
I think you've got a fever.
I'm gonna take your temperature.
Ma, you don't have to!
Oh, yes, I do!
One hothead in
this house is plenty.
Lionel, you haven't been
working too hard, have you?
No, Pop.
I don't want you working
so hard you get sick.
I won't, Pop.
Because if you get sick,
you'll have to miss work.
Okay, Lionel. Open up.
Mom, you're not gonna put
that thermometer in my mouth.
Well, you've got
one other choice.
He doesn't look good.
You wouldn't look good either
with that thing sticking
out of your face.
Do you think I
should call a doctor?
What for?
All he's gonna say
is "Take two aspirins,
drink lots of liquids and
where should I send the bill?"
I'm worried.
This is the same time of year
Lionel caught pneumonia
when he was nine.
Oh, Weezy!
[MUMBLES]
Huh?
What did you say?
[MUMBLES]
I told you not to talk
with your mouth full!
I said I don't think
I have pneumonia.
Well, you've got something.
Your temperature's over 100.
It is?
Come on, Lionel.
I'm putting you to bed.
No, Mom.
Don't argue with me!
Mom, Jenny is coming
here right from the library.
We'll go home and I'll
jump in bed, I promise.
By that time you might be dead.
Mom, I am all right!
Look, you've got a fever,
and I'm gonna put you
to bed, and that's that.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
You better do like
your mother says.
If you don't let her
cure you, she'll kill you.
Hi, Mr. Jefferson.
Oh, hi, Jenny.
What are all those books for?
I got a heavy test
tomorrow in Black History.
Ah! Well, you should
get half the answers right.
You know something,
Mr. Jefferson?
You got a wonderful
sense of humor.
Thank you.
Why don't you try
using it sometime?
Watch yourself, young lady.
Where's Lionel? He's in bed.
Oh, you mean he
went home already?
No, he's here, in his old room.
Hi, Jenny! Hi, Mrs. Jefferson.
Why is Lionel in bed?
Oh, he's got a fever
so I made him lie down.
Oh, I better see
how he's feeling.
Oh, not yet.
Why not?
He's getting undressed.
So?
Oh, I forgot!
You're married now,
so I guess it's all right.
Oh, how do you feel, honey?
Like an old tennis
ball, no bounce.
Ohh!
Oh, he is warm!
Well, come on, Lionel.
We better get you home.
Home?
You can't take him out in this
cold. He'll catch pneumonia.
He'll be all right,
Mrs. Jefferson.
We're gonna grab a taxi
and be home in a flash.
Come on, baby.
Jenny!
I think it's better
if he stays here.
Will you two cut it
out? I feel like a yo-yo!
The best place for
him is in his own home,
where I can take care of him.
Oh, now, how you gonna do that?
You go to school during the day.
I can take a couple of days off.
Oh, it's silly of you to do that
when I can take
care of him here.
I'll put some clean
sheets on the bed,
set up the vaporizer...
Oh, but first, I've gotta
get the hot-water bottle
and a pair of pajamas.
Lionel doesn't wear
pajamas anymore.
No wonder he got sick.
All right. Get dressed
and let's go home.
Oh, now, wait a minute, Jenny.
Let's talk about
this first, okay?
Now, what is
there to talk about?
I only wanna do
what's best for you.
Well, so does Mom.
Are you saying you
wanna stay here?
I didn't say that.
Well, then, you want to go home.
No, I didn't say that either.
You better make up your mind.
Do you wanna go
home where you belong
or do you wanna stay
here with your mother?
Jenny, I don't understand
why you're getting so upset.
Well, it's just that
I'm your wife, honey,
and taking care of
you is my responsibility.
But, Jenny...
Come on, don't "but, Jenny" me!
Now, are we gonna
go home or not?
I mean, Mom is
going to all this trouble!
All right, all right. Stay here.
You know, I didn't marry
a man. I married a baby.
First time something goes wrong,
he goes running
home to his mommy.
Wait a minute!
Where are you going?
Up to see my mother!
Ohhh!
[CRUNCHES]
[CRUNCHES]
Must you crunch like that?
Crunching is half the fun.
You don't know you're
eating them unless you crunch.
The whole building
knows you're eating them.
[CRUNCHES] Helen!
You're supposed to crunch them.
That's why they're
called Crunchos.
Well, would you please
crunch them quietly?
I'm trying to concentrate.
You've been concentrating
for the last two minutes.
You're running out
of time. Ha-ha-ha!
Hi.
Oh, hi, Jenny.
To what do we owe
this pleasant surprise?
I just thought I'd stop by,
see how you two were doing.
I'm losing. Ohh!
How's Lionel? I
think he's got the flu.
Oh, what a shame.
Is he home in bed?
Yes and no. Huh?
He's in bed, but he is not home.
He's not in hospital, is he?
No. He's not that sick.
Oi, but his mama
is acting like he is.
What do you mean?
Lionel is downstairs
in his old bed
because his mother
insists on taking care of him.
What do you think about that?
Super!
What's super about it?
That's my word: S-U-P-E-R.
Ah, let's see.
That's six, 12, a double
word. Twenty-four points.
Ha-ha-ha! I'm
catching up, Helen!
[CRUNCHES]
Daddy, don't you think Lionel
should go home with me?
After all, I'm his
wife. That's true.
How long is it gonna take his
mama to cut the apron strings?
I don't know.
When we got married, Tom's
mother didn't cut the strings,
she burned the whole apron.
And you were
wearing it at the time.
How do you think I got this tan?
Well, it's my job to
take care of Lionel now.
And I can do it just as
well as his mother can.
Well, sometimes
mothers do know best.
What has that got
to do with anything?
Lionel is supposed
to stay with me
for richer, for poorer, in
sickness and in health.
You sound as if you
were jealous of Louise.
I am not. That would be silly.
Yeah. It would be, wouldn't it?
Will someone tell me when Lionel
is gonna stop
listening to his mother?
After all, he's not
a kid anymore.
Doesn't anybody agree with me?
I think you should
talk to Lionel,
and let him decide where
he wants to spend the night.
Yeah. You're right.
I'll let Lionel decide.
He'll come home with me.
If he doesn't, he
ain't gonna be sick,
he's gonna be unconscious.
Bye.
TOM: Bye. HELEN: Bye, baby.
I was wondering how soon
Jenny and Lionel would have
their first married fight.
Yeah, when you're
young like that,
it's crazy how
arguments can start
over silly little things.
Oh, they'll grow out of it
after they've been
married a while.
You're right.
They'll learn it's only worth
fighting over important things.
Well, my turn.
No. It's, uh, my turn. You
played "super," remember?
Oh, that's right.
Then I turned over the
timer to start your turn,
and your time has run out,
so it's my turn again.
But I was talking to Jenny.
I'm sorry, Helen.
Rules are rules.
It's my turn! It's my turn!
You're a cheat!
A cheat? Oh, boy,
are you a sore loser!
I'm not losing, I'm winning.
That's why you're
trying to cheat!
Don't call me a cheat! I'd
be winning this game if you...
Cheat! Cheat! Cheat!
[BOTH YELLING]
Mmm!
Mmm! Boy, that sweet
potato pie is out of sight.
It's out of sight, all right.
How many pieces
did you put away?
Only three.
Only three?
The whole pie is gone!
Well, it's easier
to cut big pieces.
And I wanted some
left for Helen to try.
Let her get her own pie.
Can you get me some seltzer?
Seltzer?
Yeah, for my stomach.
It's hard as a rock.
Good. Now it matches your head.
Come on, Weezy. I need
something to get rid of this gas.
We don't have any seltzer.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
There must be
something I can take.
Take a walk to the door.
The exercise will do you good.
Well, it's all your fault.
If you hadn't made the
pie, I wouldn't have ate it.
Hello again, Mr. Jefferson.
Hi, Jenny. You got
anything for gas?
Yeah. A credit card.
Oh, forget it.
No, I just want one
quick word with Lionel.
Oh, go ahead.
Thank you.
I don't think you should go
in there now. Lionel's resting.
Don't worry. I only want to
speak with him for a moment.
You can talk to
him in the morning.
But I... Just go home
and take it easy.
Lionel will be fine here.
I'll call you tomorrow and
let you know how he's doing.
Mrs. Jefferson,
if Lionel is sick,
I'm the one who should
be taking care of him.
But what if you catch
what Lionel's got?
Then you'll be sick.
Good. Then we'll
be sick together.
Oh, that's silly.
Look, Mrs. Jefferson, I
know what's best for Lionel.
You know what's best for him?
I've been taking care of
him since he was a baby.
Well, haven't you noticed
he isn't a baby anymore?
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Jenny, I resent you telling
me how to treat my son.
He's not your son.
He's my husband!
Well, I'm not gonna
argue with you anymore!
[DOORBELL RINGING]
Jenny!
You knew it was me,
didn't you, Louise?
What makes you say that?
Because you took so
long to open the door.
Well, I'm sorry. Come on in.
Hi, Mama! Good to see you!
How you feeling? Mm-mwah!
It hurts.
Well, a broken ankle
is supposed to hurt.
It's not my ankle that
hurts, it's my behind.
I guess sitting in
that wheelchair all day
must be pretty unpleasant.
You're so right.
I only wish I was as
well-padded as you are, Louise.
Thank you for bringing
Mama over, Ralph.
My pleasure, sir.
How much was the cab?
$17. Oh.
$17!
It only costs $5 from
Mama's house to here.
Not if you take the
scenic route, sir,
around Central Park,
past Radio City...
What?! Why'd he do
a dumb thing like that?
Because I told him to.
Oh! That was a great idea, Ma.
Then we stopped in front
of the bakery for 15 minutes.
Oh? For what?
Your mother spotted a
friend walking her dog.
Oh, yes. Minnie Young.
I wanted her to
autograph my cast.
And while Mrs. Young
autographed your mother's leg,
her dog autographed mine.
Ain't that supposed
to mean good luck?
Only for the dog, sir.
Look, Ralph, just bring your
suit down to the store tomorrow
and I'll clean it for nothing.
Oh, no, sir. I insist on
paying you for your work.
Oh, thank you, Ralph.
Just as you insist on
paying me for mine.
Oh, yeah!
Why, thank you, sir. Yes, sir!
Ma'am, what time do you
want me to take you back home?
Well, that depends on how long
my daughter-in-law can
stand having me around.
Come back in
half an hour, Ralph.
She thinks she's making a joke.
But I'm sure I'll be
staying for dinner.
Yes, ma'am. After I've
had my bloody mary.
George, where's Lionel?
I want him to autograph my cast.
I made him lie down.
He wasn't feeling too
well after he finished lunch.
Oh, what a shame.
I hope Louise's cooking
didn't make you
sick too, George.
Uh, no, Mama. I feel okay.
That's good. Because I
made something for you.
Oh, great. What is it?
What is your favorite dessert?
Sweet potato pie.
Wrong! Raspberry cobbler.
Raspberry cobbler?
Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.
Been so long since I had any.
Louise, get George a plate.
No, no, no! I don't feel
like eating it right now, Ma.
Why not?
Well, my stomach
don't feel too good.
I knew it!
Louise's lunch
did make you sick.
Mama!
Mother Jefferson,
George isn't sick, he's just...
Louise, don't tell me. I know
when my own son is sick.
Don't worry, George.
I'll take care of you.
Please, Ma.
Show me into the
kitchen, George.
I'll fix you a bromo.
Mother Jefferson, I know
how to take care of him.
You know how to
take care of him! Hmph!
I've been taking care of
him since he was a baby.
Well, he's not a baby anymore!
Louise, I resent you telling
me how to treat my son!
He's not your son,
he's my husband!
GEORGE: Come on, Mama.
Oh, that woman!
She's acting just
like... LIONEL: Mom!
Just like...
Just like me.
Mrs. Jefferson, I don't care what
you say, I'm taking Lionel home.
That's a good idea.
And don't argue
with me about... It is?
Yes, and I want to
apologize, Jenny.
I guess that's what happens
when you become a mother-in-law.
What?
You start acting like one.
Oh.
How come we ain't got
nothing in this kitchen but food?
Oh, hi, Mother Jefferson.
Hi, Grandma. How
are you feeling?
I'm feeling fine, but I thought
you weren't feeling well.
I'll be feeling okay as soon I
get home and get some rest.
In their own bed.
I was just apologizing to Jenny
for coming between
her and Lionel.
I realize now that once
a son gets married,
a mother has to let go.
How right you are!
And, Jenny, you see that
you don't let her forget it.
George, come on.
Take me to the bedroom.
I have to take your temperature.
But, Mama... Don't
argue with me, George!
Yes, Mama.
And, Louise, call Ralph and
tell him not to come for me.
I'll have to stay
here for a few days.
Yes, Mother Jefferson!
I'll get your bloody
mary right away.
"And not too much tomato
juice. Don't drown the vodka."
Hey, hey, hey, Weezy.
What you looking for?
Arsenic!
Oh, come on, Weezy, look,
I know it's been rough taking
care of Mama for a whole week.
But I got a present
for you. A present?
Well, it's sort of a
little "I love you" gift.
Oh, George!
A 14-day cruise to the Bahamas.
What is this?
Some practical joke?
You know I get seasick!
The cruise ain't for us,
Weezy. It's for Mama!
I'm shipping her out tomorrow.
Oh, George!
That's the nicest present you
ever bought me. Mm-mwah!
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
ANNOUNCER: The Jeffersons was
videotaped in front of a studio audience.
♪ Movin', movin' up... ♪♪