The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 1, Episode 9 - Meet the Press - full transcript
Publicity-seeker George learns a newspaper reporter is planning a series of articles on successful African-American businessmen. However, George decision to invite the reporter to a party backfires on him when the reporter finds far more interesting subjects to write about ... in the Willises and Mr. Bentley.
♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE
APARTMENT IN THE SKY ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT
A PIECE OF THE PIE ♪
♪ FISH DON'T FRY
IN THE KITCHEN ♪
♪ BEANS DON'T
BURN ON THE GRILL ♪
♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN' ♪
♪ JUST TO GET UP THAT HILL ♪
♪ NOW WE'RE UP IN
THE BIG LEAGUES ♪
♪ GETTIN' OUR TURN AT BAT ♪
♪ AS LONG AS WE LIVE
IT'S YOU AND ME, BABY ♪
♪ AIN'T NOTHIN'
WRONG WITH THAT ♪
♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE
APARTMENT IN THE SKY ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A
PIECE OF THE PIE ♪♪
AGH! THAT'S THE WORST
COFFEE I EVER TASTED.
IT ISN'T COFFEE. IT'S TEA.
OH, WELL, IN THAT
CASE, IT AIN'T BAD.
THREE MORE MUGGINGS LAST
NIGHT, ANOTHER TORNADO IN TEXAS,
AND A SEVEN-CAR PILEUP
ON THE WEST SIDE HIGHWAY.
THAT'S MAKES ME FEEL BETTER.
IT DOES?
YEAH. BECAUSE NONE OF THEM
THINGS ARE HAPPENIN' TO US.
MORNIN', MA. OH,
GOOD MORNING, SON.
HEY, POP.
NOW, HERE'S SOMETHING I
WISH WOULD HAPPEN TO ME.
YOU REMEMBER THAT
STORY ABOUT THE CHINESE
DUDE WHO OWNS THE
RESTAURANT DOWN THE STREET?
OH, YOU MEAN CHARLIE KWAN, THE ONE
WHO SAVED A GUY FROM BEING MUGGED?
YEAH. SAVED A WINO AND FED
HIM AND TOOK CARE OF HIM...
UNTIL HE WAS TURNED OVER
TO THE SALVATION ARMY.
OH, IT'S SO NICE TO READ ABOUT SOMEONE
WHO'S NOT AFRAID TO GET INVOLVED.
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT GOT HIS PICTURE
ON THE FRONT PAGE. SAVIN' A WINO.
A WHITE ONE AT THAT.
HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'S WHITE?
IT DOESN'T SAY SO IN THE PAPER.
YES, IT DID. THE PAPER
CALLED HIM AN "INDIGENT."
CAN'T BE NOTHIN' BUT A HONKY.
- WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT?
- BECAUSE A WHITE WINO...
IS TURNED OVER TO THE SALVATION
ARMY; THEY CALL HIM AN "INDIGENT."
A BLACK WINO IS BUSTED AND
THEY CALL HIM AN "INMATE."
ANYHOW, IT SAYS RIGHT HERE,
SINCE THAT HAPPENED,
HIS BUSINESS HAS TRIPLED.
IT WAS THE
PUBLICITY THAT DID IT.
THEN WHY DON'T YOU ADVERTISE?
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T BUY
THAT KIND OF ADVERTISING.
IF I COULD, I'D BE ONE OF THE BIGGEST
BLACK BUSINESSMEN IN NEW YORK.
LIKE THIS DUDE HERE IN
THIS PAPER? WHAT DUDE?
HAVEN'T YOU BEEN
READING THIS SERIES? IT'S
ON SUCCESSFUL BLACK
BUSINESSMEN AROUND HERE.
TODAY IT'S ABOUT A DUDE WHO OWNS
GOLDMAN PHARMACIES. HE'S A MILLIONAIRE.
GOLDMAN? I THOUGHT
YOU SAID HE WAS BLACK?
OH, HE IS. WAIT A MINUTE.
ABDUL KARIM GOLDMAN.
OLDEST OF SEVEN CHILDREN,
STARTED OUT AS A DELIVERY BOY,
WORKED HIS WAY THROUGH COLLEGE
AND NOW HE OWNS A CHAIN OF DRUGSTORES.
LET ME SEE THAT.
HMM. THIS IS IT!
THIS IS THE ANSWER.
THAT'S GREAT.
WHAT'S THE QUESTION?
HOW TO GET MY
STORY IN THE PAPER.
NOW, YOU ARE GONNA CALL THESE PEOPLE,
LOUISE. I GOT THE NUMBER RIGHT HERE.
WELL, WHY AM I CALLING
THEM? YOU'RE NOT A MILLIONAIRE.
BUT I'M A THOUSANDAIRE.
AND I COULD BE A MILLIONAIRE IF
I COULD GET ME SOME PUBLICITY.
SO CALL THIS REPORTER. HIS NAME IS
MIKE MORENO. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT TO SAY.
I ALREADY KNOW WHAT TO SAY: NO!
I'LL CALL HIM FOR YOU,
POP. THANK YOU, SON.
A MAN'S VOICE SOUNDS MORE
IMPORTANT THAN A WOMAN'S ANYTIME.
NOW, THIS IS WHAT YOU SAY. LOOK, I KNOW
WHAT TO SAY, POP. DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
I GOT TO WORRY! HOW DO YOU
THINK I GOT WHERE I AM TODAY?
WORRYING ABOUT
THE LITTLE DETAILS.
I WANT TO MAKE SURE
YOU SAY THE RIGHT THING.
YOU WANNA HEAR WHAT I'LL SAY? OKAY,
YOU BE MR. MORENO, AND I'M CALLING YOU UP.
ALL RIGHT? WELL, COME
ON. WHAT? OH, OKAY.
UH, HELLO, MR. MORENO? SPEAKING.
MR. MORENO, YOU DON'T KNOW ME...
AND I DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOU. BYE.
THAT'S WHAT HE WOULD'VE DONE.
YOU GOT TO GET IN THERE FAST.
YOU GOT TO GRAB HIS INTEREST.
YOU GOT TO HOOK HIM RIGHT AWAY.
OKAY, OKAY. LET ME TRY IT AGAIN.
WHAT'S THE NUMBER AGAIN, POP?
SIX, EIGHT... LOOK, JUST GO ON!
HELLO, MR. MORENO? YEAH,
MR. MORENO. SPEAKING.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
TO MEET ONE OF THE
FASTEST-RISING BLACK
BUSINESSMEN IN THE COUNTRY?
THAT'S RIGHT. HE
STARTED OUT WITH NOTHING
AND WORKED HIS WAY
ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP...
AND DID IT ALL THE WAY
BY HIMSELF. YEAH, YEAH!
THIS DUDE IS FORCEFUL, DYNAMIC,
A BRILLIANT MIND. RIGHT ON.
A BORN LEADER. I MEAN,
THIS DUDE IS DYNAMITE.
GREAT. WHEN CAN I MEET THIS
GUY? WELL, HE AIN'T AROUND NOW,
SO WOULD YOU LIKE TO
MEET MY FATHER INSTEAD?
LOOK, NOW, YOU... I'M LATE FOR
SCHOOL, POP. I'LL SEE YOU LATER. BYE.
THAT BOY BETTER WATCH OUT. HE AIN'T
TOO BIG FOR ME TO BE GOIN' UPSIDE HIS HEAD.
OH, GEORGE, HE WAS ONLY KIDDING. BESIDES,
THAT WAS A DUMB THING YOU ASKED HIM TO DO.
LOOK, A SON IS SUPPOSED TO LISTEN TO
HIS FATHER NO MATTER HOW DUMB HE IS.
OKAY, LOOK, LOOK, IF I CAN'T
GET NO HELP FROM MY OWN FAMILY,
I'LL JUST HAVE TO MAKE THE
PHONE CALL MYSELF. OH, GEORGE!
I THINK YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE.
NO, I AIN'T. I KNOW
WHAT I'M DOING.
ONE THING I LEARNED IN LIFE,
YOU GOT TO BLOW YOUR OWN HORN.
AND YOU'VE GOT
THE HOT AIR TO DO IT.
THAT'S BECAUSE I GOT A WIFE
WHO'S ALWAYS STEAMING ME UP.
HELLO. I LIKE TO SPEAK
TO MIKE MORENO, PLEASE.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO
DO? TELL HIM A BUNCH OF LIES?
I AIN'T GONNA LIE. I'M JUST
GONNA BUILD UP THE TRUTH.
HELLO, MR. MORENO?
YES, MY NAME IS, UH, EBONY.
SIDNEY J. EBONY.
YES. I'M CALLING YOU TO TIP
YOU OFF ABOUT A MILLIONAIRE...
YOU MAY BE INTERESTED IN
INTERVIEWING FOR YOUR SERIES.
UH, YES. YOU MIGHT
HAVE HEARD OF HIM.
HIS NAME IS GEORGE JEFFERSON.
HE OWNS A CHAIN
OF CLEANING STORES.
OH, YOU HAVEN'T. OH, THAT'S
BECAUSE HE'S VERY SHY.
HE HATES PUBLICITY.
WHAT? OH, I'VE GOT
HIS NUMBER RIGHT HERE.
IT'S, UH, 685-4099.
ME? NO. NO CONNECTION.
I'M JUST ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO
THINKS HE'S DOING A MARVELOUS JOB.
OH, FINE. BYE.
GEORGE? HOLD IT.
SIX, EIGHT, FIVE,
FOUR, OH, NINE, NINE.
NOW. [Rings]
I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE
THE THINKING UP TO ME.
HELLO. GEORGE
JEFFERSON SPEAKING.
MAMA! OHH!
LOOK, MAMA, I CAN'T TALK TO
YOU RIGHT NOW. GET OFF THE LINE.
GET OFF THE LINE!
NO, LOOK, IT'S JUST THAT I'M
EXPECTING AN IMPORTANT CALL.
YEAH, YOU'RE IMPORTANT
TOO, BUT, BUT, BUT...
WHY DON'T YOU TALK
TO HER, WEEZY? WHY?
BECAUSE THAT'LL
MAKE HER HANG UP.
I'M SORRY, BUT I'M NOT HOME.
HELLO, MAMA? OF
COURSE I LOVE YOU,
AND I KNOW YOU'LL UNDERSTAND
BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME TOO.
BYE. WHY DID SHE
HAVE TO CALL NOW?
WELL, WHEN YOU'RE RICH
AND FAMOUS LIKE YOU ARE,
YOU'RE BOUND TO GET A LOT OF
NUISANCE CALLS. [Phone Ringing]
HELLO. OH, OH, OH.
OH, IT'S HIM, IT'S
HIM. SHH. HELLO?
OH, MR. JEFFERSON? THIS
IS MR. JEFFERSON'S BUTLER.
UH-HUH. JUST A
MINUTE. I'LL CALL HIM.
HELLO. GEORGE
JEFFERSON SPEAKING.
AH, YES, MR. MORENO. YES,
I'M FAMILIAR WITH YOUR PAPER.
WELL, I'D LIKE TO HELP YOU OUT,
BUT I HAVE A VERY TIGHT SCHEDULE.
UH, LET'S SEE, HOW
ABOUT TONIGHT, 6:30?
OH, WE'RE HAVING A FEW
FRIENDS OVER FOR COCKTAILS.
A U.N. AMBASSADOR,
A BIG PUBLISHER,
COUPLE OF OTHER MILLIONAIRES.
MAYBE AN ASTRONAUT.
YOU KNOW, JUST A
FEW PERSONAL FRIENDS.
OH, YOU CAN? OH, FINE. OKAY.
WE'RE AT THE COLBY
EAST. TWELFTH FLOOR.
RIGHT. OKAY, FINE.
SEE YOU THEN. BYE.
I DID IT, WEEZY! HE'S COMING
OVER TO DO MY STORY.
[Laughs] OH, THAT'S
JUST GREAT, GEORGE.
NOW ALL YOU'VE GOT TO DO IS COME UP WITH
ALL THOSE PEOPLE YOU LIED TO HIM ABOUT.
I DIDN'T LIE. NOT EXACTLY.
BENTLEY WORKS FOR THE U.N. AND
TOM WILLIS WORKS FOR A PUBLISHER.
YOU'RE INVITING THE WILLISES?
YOU WHO KEEPS SAYING...
YOU DON'T WANT THAT ZEBRA
MARRIAGE HANGING AROUND?
I DON'T, BUT I NEED 'EM TONIGHT.
YOU KNOW, AND THOSE PHONY LIBERAL
WRITERS ARE ALL FOR MIXING THE RACES.
THAT'S NOT HONEST. THAT
MAKES YOU A HYPOCRITE.
IT'S ONLY FOR A COUPLE HOURS.
AFTER THE PARTY, I'LL BE JUST
AS HONEST AS I ALWAYS AM.
OKAY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING
TO GET YOUR MILLIONAIRES?
INVITE SOME OF THE NEIGHBORS. THE
REPORTER AIN'T GONNA KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.
WHAT'S HE GONNA DO? ASK TO
SEE THEIR BANKBOOKS? [Phone Rings]
YOU'LL BE LUCKY TO GET ANYONE
TO COME ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE.
HELLO. OH, HI, MOM. HUH?
OH, NO, IT'S JUST THAT
I WAS BUSY, THAT'S ALL.
OF COURSE. OF COURSE I LOVE YOU.
LOOK, YOU CAN COME TO DINNER
ANYTIME YOU WANT... UH, NOT TONIGHT!
NO, LOOK, MA...
SHE'S ON HER WAY.
YOU'RE DOING JUST GREAT, GEORGE.
SO FAR, YOU'VE GOT
ONE GUEST LINED UP:
YOUR MOTHER, THE ASTRONAUT.
WELL, YOU BETTER GET ON THAT
PHONE AND START MAKING SOME CALLS.
WE NEED BODIES. AND CALL
WHAT'S-HER-NAME UP. DIANE.
WE NEED SOMEBODY TO SERVE.
DIANE'S GOT THE FLU.
I'LL CALL FLORENCE.
ALL SHE'S GOT IS
LARYNGITIS. [Doorbell Rings]
FLORENCE? SHE AIN'T NO GOOD.
SHE'S ALL THUMBS AND NO BRAIN.
IF SHE WAS IN A HOUSE ALL BY
HERSELF, SHE'D BE BUMPIN' INTO HERSELF.
SORRY, GEORGE, WE DIDN'T
KNOW YOU WERE HOME.
WE'LL GO QUIETLY. NO,
NO, NO! COME IN, COME IN!
WE HAVEN'T BEEN SEEING
ENOUGH OF YOU TWO LATELY.
EITHER WE'RE IN THE WRONG
APARTMENT, OR HE'S UP TO SOMETHING.
- HE'S UP TO SOMETHING.
- WE'RE GOOD NEIGHBORS. WHAT'S HAPPENING?
WE WERE HOPING TO TALK TO LOUISE
ABOUT OUR ANNUAL CHARITY AFFAIR.
OH, WHY DON'T YOU TALK TO BOTH OF US
TONIGHT OVER COCKTAILS, SAY ABOUT 6:30?
- YOU'RE INVITING US
TO COCKTAILS?
- WHAT'S SO STRANGE ABOUT THAT?
NO STRANGER THAN WILT
CHAMBERLAIN BUYING ELEVATOR SHOES.
IT'S SOME KIND OF SETUP. WE WALK IN, AND
YOU HAVE US ARRESTED AS HOUSEBREAKERS.
I'M TRYING TO BE FRIENDLY.
WAIT A MINUTE. JUST
HOW BAD DO YOU WANT US?
I INVITED YOU, DIDN'T I?
WELL, WE JUST HAVE JUST TWO TICKETS
LEFT TO OUR DINNER DANCE NEXT WEEK.
WE WERE HOPING YOU AND
LOUISE... HELEN, THAT'S BLACKMAIL.
UH-HUH.
- AND BRILLIANT.
- IF I BUY THE TICKETS,
WILL YOU COME TONIGHT?
I'LL GUARANTEE IT.
OKAY. HOW MUCH?
FIFTY DOLLARS...
APIECE. WHAT?
THAT'S A HUNDRED BUCKS!
IT SHOULDN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE
TO YOU NOW THAT YOU'RE A MILLIONAIRE.
OKAY. WHO DO I MAKE THIS OUT TO?
TO OUR ORGANIZATION,
AFRO. THAT'S A-F-R-O.
AT LEAST IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'S GOIN' FOR
A GOOD CAUSE. WHAT'S THAT STAND FOR?
THE ASSOCIATION
FOR RACIAL ONENESS.
SEE YOU TONIGHT.
WAIT A MINUTE. RACIAL
ONENESS? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
IT MEANS THAT YOU JUST GAVE US A
CHECK TO SUPPORT MIXED MARRIAGES.
NOW LISTEN TO THIS, WEEZY. I GOT MY LIFE
STORY ALL WORKED OUT FOR THAT REPORTER.
NOW, IT ALL STARTED
45 YEARS AGO.
FORTY-SIX.
A BABY WAS BORN IN A
COTTON FIELD IN ALABAMA.
IN THE HOSPITAL IN THE BRONX.
LOOK, I'M TRYING TO
JAZZ UP THE STORY.
I WANNA SHOW HOW A
BOY FROM THE GHETTO...
GOT HIS FIRST CLEANING STORE THROUGH
HARD WORK, SKIMPING AND SAVING...
AND A $5,000 WHIPLASH SETTLEMENT
FROM THE CITY OF NEW YORK.
THAT'S WHAT I CALL
JAZZING DOWN THE STORY.
[Snoring] WHAT'S THAT?
YOUR MOTHER. SHE'S TAKING A NAP.
IT ALL STARTED 45 YEARS
AGO. MR. JEFFERSON?
CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY? NO. I
THOUGHT YOU WAS JUST TALKING.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
WELL, THIS AIN'T GONNA
WORK, MR. JEFFERSON.
I'M A CLEANING MAID. I
AIN'T USED TO SERVING.
WE KNOW THAT, BUT NOW
YOU'RE MOVING UP IN THE WORLD.
WELL, I DON'T MIND MOVING UP
IN THE WORLD, MR. JEFFERSON,
BUT YOU KNOW HOW
YOU ACT SOMETIMES.
AND I DON'T WANT YOU GETTING MAD
AT ME LIKE YOU DID AT THAT LAST PARTY.
THAT'S WHAT GAVE
ME MY LARYNGITIS.
DON'T BE NERVOUS, FLORENCE.
GEORGE IS OUT TO MAKE AN IMPRESSION
TONIGHT, SO HE'S NOT GOING TO BE HIMSELF.
HE'S GOING TO BE A
PERFECT GENTLEMAN.
WELL, OKAY, I'LL TRY.
AT 2.50 AND HOUR, YOU
BETTER DO BETTER THAN TRY.
- $4.00 AN HOUR, GEORGE.
- SINCE WHEN?
SINCE SHE'S MOVING
UP IN THE WORLD.
FLORENCE, YOU CAN PUT THE PIZZA PUFFS
IN THE OVEN AS SOON THE GUESTS ARRIVE,
WHICH SHOULD BE ANY MINUTE NOW.
- ALL RIGHT, MRS. JEFFERSON.
- AT THESE PRICES, I WANNA
SEE SOME FANCY MAIDING.
EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND, I WANT
TO SEE YOU SERVING SOMETHING.
YES, MR. JEFFERSON.
STOP PICKING ON HER, GEORGE.
THIS WHOLE THING
IS SILLY ANYWAY.
HIRING A MAID FOR JUST
FIVE PEOPLE. [Doorbell Rings]
SIX. DON'T FORGET MAMA.
I WISH I COULD.
MR. JEFFERSON? MIKE
MORENO, EAST SIDE CHRONICLE.
AH, YES, COME IN, COME IN. I'D
LIKE YOU TO MEET MY WIFE LOUISE.
IT'S A GREAT PLEASURE.
HOW ARE YOU?
HOW DO YOU DO? WON'T YOU SIT
DOWN? OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
CAN I GET YOU A DRINK,
MR. MORENO? NO, THANKS.
I'VE GOT TO COVER A CONCERT AT
THE LINCOLN CENTER RIGHT AFTER THIS.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID THERE
WAS GOING TO BE OTHER GUESTS.
OH, THEY'LL BE HERE. RICH
PEOPLE ALWAYS COME LATE.
THAT'S HOW YOU
KNOW THEY'RE RICH.
I DON'T HAVE TOO MUCH TIME, SO WHAT
DO YOU SAY WE GET STARTED? RIGHT.
[Clears Throat]
IT ALL STARTED 45 YEARS AGO,
- AND I WAS JUST A LITTLE...
- MEATBALL?
AS I WAS SAYING,
IT ALL STARTED...
OH, HOW ABOUT YOU, MRS.
JEFFERSON? OH, THANK YOU, FLORENCE.
NOW, GETTING BACK TO THE STORY.
FORTY-FIVE YEARS AGO, A WOMAN
WENT INTO THE COTTON FIELD IN ALABAMA.
WHEN SHE CAME OUT,
SHE BROUGHT WITH HER...
CLAM DIP? CHEESE PUFF?
WHY DON'T YOU STOP
HANGING AROUND OUT HERE?
- YOU SAID EVERY TIME...
- DON'T DO WHAT I SAID. DO WHAT I SAY.
IT'S SO HARD TO GET
GOOD HELP THESE DAYS.
OKAY.
I GATHER YOU WERE
BORN 45 YEARS AGO.
YEAH, AND IT WAS A
LONG, TOUGH CLIMB...
FROM THAT RAT-INFESTED
TENEMENT I GREW UP IN.
WE DIDN'T HAVE RATS, GEORGE.
A FEW MICE, MAYBE, BUT NO RATS.
OH, MAMA, MEET MIKE MORENO.
HOW DO YOU DO? FINE, THANK YOU,
ONLY THAT BLOODY
MARY MADE ME SO SLEEPY,
I ALMOST NODDED OFF.
YES, YOU'VE BEEN ALMOST NODDING
OFF FOR TWO-AND-A-HALF HOURS NOW.
MAYBE I BETTER HAVE ANOTHER.
THE SECOND ONE
ALWAYS PERKS ME UP.
NOW, WHAT DO WE
GOT SO FAR? NOTHING,
EXCEPT YOU'RE 45 YEARS OLD.
FORTY-SIX.
I WAS 45 WHEN I STARTED
TELLING THIS STORY.
[Doorbell Rings] DON'T PUT THAT
PENCIL DOWN. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
OH, HELLO! I WAS
WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
WE KNEW THAT, BUT WE
DECIDED TO COME ANYWAY.
COME IN. MEET MIKE MORENO.
THIS IS TOM AND HELEN
WILLIS. HOW ARE YOU?
HOW DO YOU DO? MR. WILLIS,
A PLEASURE MEETING YOU.
TOM, IT WAS NICE OF YOU TO TAKE
TIME OUT OF YOUR BUSY SCHEDULE...
TO BE HERE TONIGHT.
I WOULDN'T HAVE MISSED
THIS FOR THE WORLD.
IT PAYS TO VISIT YOU, GEORGE.
TOM HERE IS A BIG PUBLISHER.
WELL, ACTUALLY, I'M JUST A SENIOR
EDITOR WITH PELHAM PUBLISHING.
WELL, I'M VERY GLAD TO MEET
YOU. I'M WRITING A BOOK, YOU KNOW.
OH, REALLY? YES. YOU
SEE, I'M NEWSPAPERMAN.
HE'S HERE TO DO A STORY ABOUT
ME. I GOT THE IDEA FOR MY BOOK...
FROM THIS SERIES I BEEN
WRITING ON BLACK CAPITALISM.
WE'VE HAD A TREMENDOUS
RESPONSE FROM OUR READERS.
I CAN SEE WHY. THE TIME IS
RIGHT FOR A BOOK LIKE THAT.
BUT HE AIN'T INTERESTED IN THAT RIGHT
NOW. HE'S HERE TO DO A STORY ABOUT ME.
SO WHY DON'T YOU TWO GO OVER
THERE AND MAKE YOURSELVES A DRINK?
- I CAN GET THAT, MR. JEFFERSON.
- YOU CAN GET YOURSELF
BACK IN THE KITCHEN.
- BUT I THOUGHT YOU SAID...
- DON'T THINK! I DO THE THINKING.
WELL, THINK ABOUT GETTING
YOURSELF ANOTHER MAID!
LOUISE, WOULD YOU PLEASE GO AND
SEE WHAT'S BOTHERING THAT YOUNG LADY?
I DON'T HAVE TO.
I'M LOOKING AT IT.
WHY DON'T WE JUST START
FROM THE BEGINNING?
GOOD IDEA. LET'S GO
CLEAR BACK TO WHERE YOU
ASKED ME IF I WANTED
A DRINK AND I SAID NO.
I CHANGED MY MIND. I'D LOVE ONE.
SURE. WHAT'LL YOU HAVE? OH,
DON'T BOTHER. I CAN GET IT MYSELF.
YOU KNOW, MR. WILLIS,
IN THIS BOOK I'M WRITING,
I'M NOT DEALING WITH YOUR
ORDINARY BLACK BUSINESSMAN.
THE PEOPLE I WANT ARE
BANKERS, CORPORATE EXECUTIVES.
THEN YOU OUGHT TO MEET HELEN'S
FATHER. HE'S A CORPORATE EXECUTIVE.
AND BELIEVE ME, HE'S A
CHARACTER. WHO IS HE?
DID YOU EVER HEAR
OF BUTEX INDUSTRIES?
AMERICAN STOCK EXCHANGE?
THAT'S THE ONE. MY
FATHER'S COMPANY PRESIDENT.
WELL, THAT'S FASCINATING. I'D LIKE
TO HEAR MORE ABOUT YOUR FATHER.
WELL, MY FATHER
WAS VERY, VERY POOR.
WE NEVER HAD NOTHING AS KIDS.
IT WAS TOUGH FOR MY FATHER
TO FIND A JOB IN THOSE DAYS.
OH, THAT'S SAD. HOW DID
YOUR FATHER GET HIS START?
HE INHERITED A FARM
FROM MY GRANDFATHER.
OH, TELL HIM ABOUT YOUR
GRANDFATHER, HELEN,
HOW HE TURNED A SMALL, ROCKY
PIECE OF LAND INTO A RICH FARM.
HE STARTED WITH ONE ACRE
AND WOUND UP OWNING HUNDREDS.
THAT'S KIND OF LIKE MY
STORY. I STARTED OUT
WITH ONE RUNDOWN
CLEANING PLANT IN QUEENS...
BUT THAT'S SUCH A LONG
STORY. WHO ASKED YOU?
I WAS TALKING TO TOM. GOOD.
WELL, YOU KEEP TALKING TO HIM.
I KNOW YOU'RE ANXIOUS TO GET
TO MY STORY, SO LET'S GET GOING.
FORTY-FIVE YEARS AGO, A WOMAN
WENT INTO THE COTTON FIELD IN ALABAMA.
AND WHEN SHE CAME...
GEORGE, I THINK I'LL TAKE A NAP.
AGAIN?
THAT BLOODY MARY MADE ME DIZZY.
YOU TELL LOUISE SHE'S BUYING
THE WRONG KIND OF TOMATO JUICE.
WHERE WERE WE?
IN A COTTON FIELD.
OH, RIGHT. WELL, THIS...
[Doorbell Rings]
FLORENCE, GET THE DOOR!
- YOU TOLD ME TO STAY
IN THE KITCHEN!
- GET THE DOOR!
JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE BOSS
DON'T MEAN YOU GOT TO BE SO LAZY.
YOU'RE CLOSER TO
THE DOOR THAN I AM!
YOU COULD'VE HAD IT OPENED, ANSWERED
AND SHUT BEFORE I EVEN GOT NEAR IT!
GOOD EVENING.
MRS. JEFFERSON, IT'S
THAT WEIRDO AND A FOX.
IT'S MR. BENTLEY FROM
THE U.N. HI THERE, BENTLEY.
EVENING, MR. JEFFERSON. ALLOW ME
TO INTRODUCE MISS TANYA PETROVICH.
SHE JUST ARRIVED FROM
RUSSIA THIS AFTERNOON.
MR. JEFFERSON, I
WAS SO EXCITED...
WHEN COMRADE BENTLEY
TOLD ME WE WERE COMING HERE.
SO, THIS IS BLACK GHETTO.
WHY IS EVERYONE
TRYING TO GET OUT?
EVERYBODY, I'D LIKE
YOU TO MEET... YES, YES!
NICE TO MEET YOU. AND YOU
MUST BE MRS. JEFFERSON.
- NO, NO, NO. I'M AFRAID...
- AFRAID?
OF COURSE YOU ARE AFRAID.
IN SOVIET UNION, WE HAVE HEARD MUCH
ABOUT POOR, DOWNTRODDEN BLACKS.
HMM! YOU'RE TALKIN' TO THE
WRONG DOWNTRODDEN BLACK, HONEY.
THIS IS MRS. JEFFERSON.
I'M HELEN WILLIS, AND
THIS IS MY HUSBAND TOM.
MRS. JEFFERSON, I WOULD
KNOW YOU ANYWHERE.
YOU WOULD?
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS BEING MARRIED TO
GEORGE HAS FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH ME.
CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING TO EAT?
PLEASE. NOT TO SPEAK OF FOOD.
YES, I'M AFRAID TANYA
HAD A VERY ROUGH FLIGHT.
SHE WAS AIRSICK ALL THE WAY.
IT WAS THE SEAFOOD THAT DID IT.
JUST THINKING ABOUT
IT MAKES ME NAUSEOUS.
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME
CLAM DIP? NYET! NYET!
OH, THIS AIN'T BAD. BUT WATCH
OUT FOR THEM PIZZA PUFFS.
THEY TASTE LIKE
HOT RUBBER BANDS.
PLEASE. SOME VODKA?
AH, YES, MAKE IT TWO, NEAT.
EVERY TIME I FLY, I GET AIRSICK.
NOT LIKE HIM!
HE CROSSED THE
ATLANTIC IN SAILBOAT.
DID YOU EVER HEAR
OF ANYTHING SO CRAZY?
THAT WASN'T ME, ACTUALLY.
IT WAS MY BROTHER NIGEL.
IN A SAILBOAT? THAT'S FANTASTIC.
THAT AIN'T NOTHIN'. I CROSSED
THE PACIFIC IN AN AIRCRAFT CARRIER.
I'M AN OLD NAVY MAN, YOU KNOW.
YOUR BROTHER ACTUALLY
CROSSED THE ATLANTIC IN A SAILBOAT?
OH, YES. NOT ONCE,
BUT THREE TIMES.
UNFORTUNATELY, HE
ONLY MADE IT TWICE.
- OH.
- LUCKILY, IT WAS THE FIRST
AND THE THIRD TIME.
BUT THE SECOND CROSSING WAS
A BIT OF A STICKY WICKET. [Chuckles]
YES. HE WAS ALONE,
EXCEPT FOR ELOISE.
SHE WAS PREGGERS AT THE TIME.
HE TOOK HIS PREGNANT
WIFE WITH HIM?
- OH, ELOISE WASN'T HIS WIFE.
- OH.
NO. SHE WAS HIS SIAMESE CAT.
- OH?
- YES. HE NEVER MADE
A TRIP WITHOUT HER.
ANYWAY, THEY RAN INTO THIS HURRICANE,
AND THEY LOST THEIR MAST AND SAILS,
AND THEY DRIFTED AROUND
FOR DAYS WITHOUT ANY FOOD.
FINALLY, THEY WERE RESCUED
BY A NORWEGIAN SARDINE BOAT.
WHEN THEY PULLED INTO NEW YORK
HARBOR, ELOISE WEIGHED 53 POUNDS.
I'D LIKE TO MEET THIS CRAZY BROTHER
OF YOURS. YOU'LL GET YOUR CHANCE...
BECAUSE HE'S FLYING INTO NEW YORK
NEXT WEEK TO BEGIN HIS NEW ADVENTURE.
- REALLY? WHAT IS THAT?
- HE PLANS TO PADDLE A CANOE
FROM HERE TO MIAMI BEACH.
- WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?
- HE LOVES SUNSHINE.
THAT'D MAKE A FANTASTIC STORY. I WISH I
COULD HEAR MORE, BUT I DO HAVE TO LEAVE.
WOULD YOU ASK YOUR BROTHER
TO CALL ME? MY PLEASURE.
AND YOU TOO, MRS. WILLIS. I WANNA
GET ALL THE DETAILS STRAIGHT.
THOSE STORIES YOU TOLD ME WILL
MAKE GREAT FEATURES FOR MY PAPER.
WELL, GOOD NIGHT,
EVERYBODY. KEEP ON TRUCKIN'.
RIGHT. WELL...
HOLD IT. AIN'T YOU
FORGETTING SOMETHING?
I DON'T THINK SO. I'VE GOT MY
PAD HERE... NO, WHAT ABOUT ME?
OF COURSE. THANK
YOU FOR INVITING ME.
I GOT A LINE ON
TWO GREAT STORIES:
MRS. WILLIS'S FATHER AND
MR. BENTLEY'S BROTHER.
VERY GOOD. AIN'T YOU
ONE STORY SHORT?
I OWN A CHAIN OF FIVE CLEANING
STORES, STARTED OUT WITH NOTHING.
I ONLY NEED ONE MORE ARTICLE FOR
MY SERIES ON BLACK BUSINESSMEN,
AND MRS. WILLIS'S FATHER IS...
I MEAN, THAT'S A FANTASTIC
STORY. WHAT ABOUT ME?
AND MR. BENTLEY'S BROTHER,
THAT'S A FANTASTIC STORY!
BUT I INVITED YOU HERE!
DON'T THINK I'M NOT GRATEFUL.
DON'T WORRY. I'LL MENTION THAT
I GOT THE STORY AT YOUR PARTY.
YOUR NAME WILL BE RIGHT
IN THERE, MR. JEFFRIES.
WELL, I THINK WE
OUGHT TO BE GOING TOO.
NO! NOBODY'S GOING NO PLACE!
WHY NOT? WE STAYED
OUR $100 WORTH.
SIT DOWN! I GOT SOMETHING I WANT
EVERYBODY TO HEAR! EVERYBODY SIT DOWN!
SIT DOWN!
NOW, REALLY, GEORGE...
YOU TOO, LOUISE, SIT DOWN.
I WANT EVERYBODY TO LISTEN
TO WHAT I GOT TO SAY. NOW...
FORTY-FIVE YEARS AGO...
[Louise] THE JEFFERSONS WAS RECORDED
ON TAPE IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.
♪ MOVIN', MOVIN' ON UP ♪♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE
APARTMENT IN THE SKY ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT
A PIECE OF THE PIE ♪
♪ FISH DON'T FRY
IN THE KITCHEN ♪
♪ BEANS DON'T
BURN ON THE GRILL ♪
♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN' ♪
♪ JUST TO GET UP THAT HILL ♪
♪ NOW WE'RE UP IN
THE BIG LEAGUES ♪
♪ GETTIN' OUR TURN AT BAT ♪
♪ AS LONG AS WE LIVE
IT'S YOU AND ME, BABY ♪
♪ AIN'T NOTHIN'
WRONG WITH THAT ♪
♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE
APARTMENT IN THE SKY ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A
PIECE OF THE PIE ♪♪
AGH! THAT'S THE WORST
COFFEE I EVER TASTED.
IT ISN'T COFFEE. IT'S TEA.
OH, WELL, IN THAT
CASE, IT AIN'T BAD.
THREE MORE MUGGINGS LAST
NIGHT, ANOTHER TORNADO IN TEXAS,
AND A SEVEN-CAR PILEUP
ON THE WEST SIDE HIGHWAY.
THAT'S MAKES ME FEEL BETTER.
IT DOES?
YEAH. BECAUSE NONE OF THEM
THINGS ARE HAPPENIN' TO US.
MORNIN', MA. OH,
GOOD MORNING, SON.
HEY, POP.
NOW, HERE'S SOMETHING I
WISH WOULD HAPPEN TO ME.
YOU REMEMBER THAT
STORY ABOUT THE CHINESE
DUDE WHO OWNS THE
RESTAURANT DOWN THE STREET?
OH, YOU MEAN CHARLIE KWAN, THE ONE
WHO SAVED A GUY FROM BEING MUGGED?
YEAH. SAVED A WINO AND FED
HIM AND TOOK CARE OF HIM...
UNTIL HE WAS TURNED OVER
TO THE SALVATION ARMY.
OH, IT'S SO NICE TO READ ABOUT SOMEONE
WHO'S NOT AFRAID TO GET INVOLVED.
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT GOT HIS PICTURE
ON THE FRONT PAGE. SAVIN' A WINO.
A WHITE ONE AT THAT.
HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'S WHITE?
IT DOESN'T SAY SO IN THE PAPER.
YES, IT DID. THE PAPER
CALLED HIM AN "INDIGENT."
CAN'T BE NOTHIN' BUT A HONKY.
- WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT?
- BECAUSE A WHITE WINO...
IS TURNED OVER TO THE SALVATION
ARMY; THEY CALL HIM AN "INDIGENT."
A BLACK WINO IS BUSTED AND
THEY CALL HIM AN "INMATE."
ANYHOW, IT SAYS RIGHT HERE,
SINCE THAT HAPPENED,
HIS BUSINESS HAS TRIPLED.
IT WAS THE
PUBLICITY THAT DID IT.
THEN WHY DON'T YOU ADVERTISE?
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T BUY
THAT KIND OF ADVERTISING.
IF I COULD, I'D BE ONE OF THE BIGGEST
BLACK BUSINESSMEN IN NEW YORK.
LIKE THIS DUDE HERE IN
THIS PAPER? WHAT DUDE?
HAVEN'T YOU BEEN
READING THIS SERIES? IT'S
ON SUCCESSFUL BLACK
BUSINESSMEN AROUND HERE.
TODAY IT'S ABOUT A DUDE WHO OWNS
GOLDMAN PHARMACIES. HE'S A MILLIONAIRE.
GOLDMAN? I THOUGHT
YOU SAID HE WAS BLACK?
OH, HE IS. WAIT A MINUTE.
ABDUL KARIM GOLDMAN.
OLDEST OF SEVEN CHILDREN,
STARTED OUT AS A DELIVERY BOY,
WORKED HIS WAY THROUGH COLLEGE
AND NOW HE OWNS A CHAIN OF DRUGSTORES.
LET ME SEE THAT.
HMM. THIS IS IT!
THIS IS THE ANSWER.
THAT'S GREAT.
WHAT'S THE QUESTION?
HOW TO GET MY
STORY IN THE PAPER.
NOW, YOU ARE GONNA CALL THESE PEOPLE,
LOUISE. I GOT THE NUMBER RIGHT HERE.
WELL, WHY AM I CALLING
THEM? YOU'RE NOT A MILLIONAIRE.
BUT I'M A THOUSANDAIRE.
AND I COULD BE A MILLIONAIRE IF
I COULD GET ME SOME PUBLICITY.
SO CALL THIS REPORTER. HIS NAME IS
MIKE MORENO. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT TO SAY.
I ALREADY KNOW WHAT TO SAY: NO!
I'LL CALL HIM FOR YOU,
POP. THANK YOU, SON.
A MAN'S VOICE SOUNDS MORE
IMPORTANT THAN A WOMAN'S ANYTIME.
NOW, THIS IS WHAT YOU SAY. LOOK, I KNOW
WHAT TO SAY, POP. DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
I GOT TO WORRY! HOW DO YOU
THINK I GOT WHERE I AM TODAY?
WORRYING ABOUT
THE LITTLE DETAILS.
I WANT TO MAKE SURE
YOU SAY THE RIGHT THING.
YOU WANNA HEAR WHAT I'LL SAY? OKAY,
YOU BE MR. MORENO, AND I'M CALLING YOU UP.
ALL RIGHT? WELL, COME
ON. WHAT? OH, OKAY.
UH, HELLO, MR. MORENO? SPEAKING.
MR. MORENO, YOU DON'T KNOW ME...
AND I DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOU. BYE.
THAT'S WHAT HE WOULD'VE DONE.
YOU GOT TO GET IN THERE FAST.
YOU GOT TO GRAB HIS INTEREST.
YOU GOT TO HOOK HIM RIGHT AWAY.
OKAY, OKAY. LET ME TRY IT AGAIN.
WHAT'S THE NUMBER AGAIN, POP?
SIX, EIGHT... LOOK, JUST GO ON!
HELLO, MR. MORENO? YEAH,
MR. MORENO. SPEAKING.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
TO MEET ONE OF THE
FASTEST-RISING BLACK
BUSINESSMEN IN THE COUNTRY?
THAT'S RIGHT. HE
STARTED OUT WITH NOTHING
AND WORKED HIS WAY
ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP...
AND DID IT ALL THE WAY
BY HIMSELF. YEAH, YEAH!
THIS DUDE IS FORCEFUL, DYNAMIC,
A BRILLIANT MIND. RIGHT ON.
A BORN LEADER. I MEAN,
THIS DUDE IS DYNAMITE.
GREAT. WHEN CAN I MEET THIS
GUY? WELL, HE AIN'T AROUND NOW,
SO WOULD YOU LIKE TO
MEET MY FATHER INSTEAD?
LOOK, NOW, YOU... I'M LATE FOR
SCHOOL, POP. I'LL SEE YOU LATER. BYE.
THAT BOY BETTER WATCH OUT. HE AIN'T
TOO BIG FOR ME TO BE GOIN' UPSIDE HIS HEAD.
OH, GEORGE, HE WAS ONLY KIDDING. BESIDES,
THAT WAS A DUMB THING YOU ASKED HIM TO DO.
LOOK, A SON IS SUPPOSED TO LISTEN TO
HIS FATHER NO MATTER HOW DUMB HE IS.
OKAY, LOOK, LOOK, IF I CAN'T
GET NO HELP FROM MY OWN FAMILY,
I'LL JUST HAVE TO MAKE THE
PHONE CALL MYSELF. OH, GEORGE!
I THINK YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE.
NO, I AIN'T. I KNOW
WHAT I'M DOING.
ONE THING I LEARNED IN LIFE,
YOU GOT TO BLOW YOUR OWN HORN.
AND YOU'VE GOT
THE HOT AIR TO DO IT.
THAT'S BECAUSE I GOT A WIFE
WHO'S ALWAYS STEAMING ME UP.
HELLO. I LIKE TO SPEAK
TO MIKE MORENO, PLEASE.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO
DO? TELL HIM A BUNCH OF LIES?
I AIN'T GONNA LIE. I'M JUST
GONNA BUILD UP THE TRUTH.
HELLO, MR. MORENO?
YES, MY NAME IS, UH, EBONY.
SIDNEY J. EBONY.
YES. I'M CALLING YOU TO TIP
YOU OFF ABOUT A MILLIONAIRE...
YOU MAY BE INTERESTED IN
INTERVIEWING FOR YOUR SERIES.
UH, YES. YOU MIGHT
HAVE HEARD OF HIM.
HIS NAME IS GEORGE JEFFERSON.
HE OWNS A CHAIN
OF CLEANING STORES.
OH, YOU HAVEN'T. OH, THAT'S
BECAUSE HE'S VERY SHY.
HE HATES PUBLICITY.
WHAT? OH, I'VE GOT
HIS NUMBER RIGHT HERE.
IT'S, UH, 685-4099.
ME? NO. NO CONNECTION.
I'M JUST ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO
THINKS HE'S DOING A MARVELOUS JOB.
OH, FINE. BYE.
GEORGE? HOLD IT.
SIX, EIGHT, FIVE,
FOUR, OH, NINE, NINE.
NOW. [Rings]
I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE
THE THINKING UP TO ME.
HELLO. GEORGE
JEFFERSON SPEAKING.
MAMA! OHH!
LOOK, MAMA, I CAN'T TALK TO
YOU RIGHT NOW. GET OFF THE LINE.
GET OFF THE LINE!
NO, LOOK, IT'S JUST THAT I'M
EXPECTING AN IMPORTANT CALL.
YEAH, YOU'RE IMPORTANT
TOO, BUT, BUT, BUT...
WHY DON'T YOU TALK
TO HER, WEEZY? WHY?
BECAUSE THAT'LL
MAKE HER HANG UP.
I'M SORRY, BUT I'M NOT HOME.
HELLO, MAMA? OF
COURSE I LOVE YOU,
AND I KNOW YOU'LL UNDERSTAND
BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME TOO.
BYE. WHY DID SHE
HAVE TO CALL NOW?
WELL, WHEN YOU'RE RICH
AND FAMOUS LIKE YOU ARE,
YOU'RE BOUND TO GET A LOT OF
NUISANCE CALLS. [Phone Ringing]
HELLO. OH, OH, OH.
OH, IT'S HIM, IT'S
HIM. SHH. HELLO?
OH, MR. JEFFERSON? THIS
IS MR. JEFFERSON'S BUTLER.
UH-HUH. JUST A
MINUTE. I'LL CALL HIM.
HELLO. GEORGE
JEFFERSON SPEAKING.
AH, YES, MR. MORENO. YES,
I'M FAMILIAR WITH YOUR PAPER.
WELL, I'D LIKE TO HELP YOU OUT,
BUT I HAVE A VERY TIGHT SCHEDULE.
UH, LET'S SEE, HOW
ABOUT TONIGHT, 6:30?
OH, WE'RE HAVING A FEW
FRIENDS OVER FOR COCKTAILS.
A U.N. AMBASSADOR,
A BIG PUBLISHER,
COUPLE OF OTHER MILLIONAIRES.
MAYBE AN ASTRONAUT.
YOU KNOW, JUST A
FEW PERSONAL FRIENDS.
OH, YOU CAN? OH, FINE. OKAY.
WE'RE AT THE COLBY
EAST. TWELFTH FLOOR.
RIGHT. OKAY, FINE.
SEE YOU THEN. BYE.
I DID IT, WEEZY! HE'S COMING
OVER TO DO MY STORY.
[Laughs] OH, THAT'S
JUST GREAT, GEORGE.
NOW ALL YOU'VE GOT TO DO IS COME UP WITH
ALL THOSE PEOPLE YOU LIED TO HIM ABOUT.
I DIDN'T LIE. NOT EXACTLY.
BENTLEY WORKS FOR THE U.N. AND
TOM WILLIS WORKS FOR A PUBLISHER.
YOU'RE INVITING THE WILLISES?
YOU WHO KEEPS SAYING...
YOU DON'T WANT THAT ZEBRA
MARRIAGE HANGING AROUND?
I DON'T, BUT I NEED 'EM TONIGHT.
YOU KNOW, AND THOSE PHONY LIBERAL
WRITERS ARE ALL FOR MIXING THE RACES.
THAT'S NOT HONEST. THAT
MAKES YOU A HYPOCRITE.
IT'S ONLY FOR A COUPLE HOURS.
AFTER THE PARTY, I'LL BE JUST
AS HONEST AS I ALWAYS AM.
OKAY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING
TO GET YOUR MILLIONAIRES?
INVITE SOME OF THE NEIGHBORS. THE
REPORTER AIN'T GONNA KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.
WHAT'S HE GONNA DO? ASK TO
SEE THEIR BANKBOOKS? [Phone Rings]
YOU'LL BE LUCKY TO GET ANYONE
TO COME ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE.
HELLO. OH, HI, MOM. HUH?
OH, NO, IT'S JUST THAT
I WAS BUSY, THAT'S ALL.
OF COURSE. OF COURSE I LOVE YOU.
LOOK, YOU CAN COME TO DINNER
ANYTIME YOU WANT... UH, NOT TONIGHT!
NO, LOOK, MA...
SHE'S ON HER WAY.
YOU'RE DOING JUST GREAT, GEORGE.
SO FAR, YOU'VE GOT
ONE GUEST LINED UP:
YOUR MOTHER, THE ASTRONAUT.
WELL, YOU BETTER GET ON THAT
PHONE AND START MAKING SOME CALLS.
WE NEED BODIES. AND CALL
WHAT'S-HER-NAME UP. DIANE.
WE NEED SOMEBODY TO SERVE.
DIANE'S GOT THE FLU.
I'LL CALL FLORENCE.
ALL SHE'S GOT IS
LARYNGITIS. [Doorbell Rings]
FLORENCE? SHE AIN'T NO GOOD.
SHE'S ALL THUMBS AND NO BRAIN.
IF SHE WAS IN A HOUSE ALL BY
HERSELF, SHE'D BE BUMPIN' INTO HERSELF.
SORRY, GEORGE, WE DIDN'T
KNOW YOU WERE HOME.
WE'LL GO QUIETLY. NO,
NO, NO! COME IN, COME IN!
WE HAVEN'T BEEN SEEING
ENOUGH OF YOU TWO LATELY.
EITHER WE'RE IN THE WRONG
APARTMENT, OR HE'S UP TO SOMETHING.
- HE'S UP TO SOMETHING.
- WE'RE GOOD NEIGHBORS. WHAT'S HAPPENING?
WE WERE HOPING TO TALK TO LOUISE
ABOUT OUR ANNUAL CHARITY AFFAIR.
OH, WHY DON'T YOU TALK TO BOTH OF US
TONIGHT OVER COCKTAILS, SAY ABOUT 6:30?
- YOU'RE INVITING US
TO COCKTAILS?
- WHAT'S SO STRANGE ABOUT THAT?
NO STRANGER THAN WILT
CHAMBERLAIN BUYING ELEVATOR SHOES.
IT'S SOME KIND OF SETUP. WE WALK IN, AND
YOU HAVE US ARRESTED AS HOUSEBREAKERS.
I'M TRYING TO BE FRIENDLY.
WAIT A MINUTE. JUST
HOW BAD DO YOU WANT US?
I INVITED YOU, DIDN'T I?
WELL, WE JUST HAVE JUST TWO TICKETS
LEFT TO OUR DINNER DANCE NEXT WEEK.
WE WERE HOPING YOU AND
LOUISE... HELEN, THAT'S BLACKMAIL.
UH-HUH.
- AND BRILLIANT.
- IF I BUY THE TICKETS,
WILL YOU COME TONIGHT?
I'LL GUARANTEE IT.
OKAY. HOW MUCH?
FIFTY DOLLARS...
APIECE. WHAT?
THAT'S A HUNDRED BUCKS!
IT SHOULDN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE
TO YOU NOW THAT YOU'RE A MILLIONAIRE.
OKAY. WHO DO I MAKE THIS OUT TO?
TO OUR ORGANIZATION,
AFRO. THAT'S A-F-R-O.
AT LEAST IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'S GOIN' FOR
A GOOD CAUSE. WHAT'S THAT STAND FOR?
THE ASSOCIATION
FOR RACIAL ONENESS.
SEE YOU TONIGHT.
WAIT A MINUTE. RACIAL
ONENESS? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
IT MEANS THAT YOU JUST GAVE US A
CHECK TO SUPPORT MIXED MARRIAGES.
NOW LISTEN TO THIS, WEEZY. I GOT MY LIFE
STORY ALL WORKED OUT FOR THAT REPORTER.
NOW, IT ALL STARTED
45 YEARS AGO.
FORTY-SIX.
A BABY WAS BORN IN A
COTTON FIELD IN ALABAMA.
IN THE HOSPITAL IN THE BRONX.
LOOK, I'M TRYING TO
JAZZ UP THE STORY.
I WANNA SHOW HOW A
BOY FROM THE GHETTO...
GOT HIS FIRST CLEANING STORE THROUGH
HARD WORK, SKIMPING AND SAVING...
AND A $5,000 WHIPLASH SETTLEMENT
FROM THE CITY OF NEW YORK.
THAT'S WHAT I CALL
JAZZING DOWN THE STORY.
[Snoring] WHAT'S THAT?
YOUR MOTHER. SHE'S TAKING A NAP.
IT ALL STARTED 45 YEARS
AGO. MR. JEFFERSON?
CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY? NO. I
THOUGHT YOU WAS JUST TALKING.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
WELL, THIS AIN'T GONNA
WORK, MR. JEFFERSON.
I'M A CLEANING MAID. I
AIN'T USED TO SERVING.
WE KNOW THAT, BUT NOW
YOU'RE MOVING UP IN THE WORLD.
WELL, I DON'T MIND MOVING UP
IN THE WORLD, MR. JEFFERSON,
BUT YOU KNOW HOW
YOU ACT SOMETIMES.
AND I DON'T WANT YOU GETTING MAD
AT ME LIKE YOU DID AT THAT LAST PARTY.
THAT'S WHAT GAVE
ME MY LARYNGITIS.
DON'T BE NERVOUS, FLORENCE.
GEORGE IS OUT TO MAKE AN IMPRESSION
TONIGHT, SO HE'S NOT GOING TO BE HIMSELF.
HE'S GOING TO BE A
PERFECT GENTLEMAN.
WELL, OKAY, I'LL TRY.
AT 2.50 AND HOUR, YOU
BETTER DO BETTER THAN TRY.
- $4.00 AN HOUR, GEORGE.
- SINCE WHEN?
SINCE SHE'S MOVING
UP IN THE WORLD.
FLORENCE, YOU CAN PUT THE PIZZA PUFFS
IN THE OVEN AS SOON THE GUESTS ARRIVE,
WHICH SHOULD BE ANY MINUTE NOW.
- ALL RIGHT, MRS. JEFFERSON.
- AT THESE PRICES, I WANNA
SEE SOME FANCY MAIDING.
EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND, I WANT
TO SEE YOU SERVING SOMETHING.
YES, MR. JEFFERSON.
STOP PICKING ON HER, GEORGE.
THIS WHOLE THING
IS SILLY ANYWAY.
HIRING A MAID FOR JUST
FIVE PEOPLE. [Doorbell Rings]
SIX. DON'T FORGET MAMA.
I WISH I COULD.
MR. JEFFERSON? MIKE
MORENO, EAST SIDE CHRONICLE.
AH, YES, COME IN, COME IN. I'D
LIKE YOU TO MEET MY WIFE LOUISE.
IT'S A GREAT PLEASURE.
HOW ARE YOU?
HOW DO YOU DO? WON'T YOU SIT
DOWN? OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
CAN I GET YOU A DRINK,
MR. MORENO? NO, THANKS.
I'VE GOT TO COVER A CONCERT AT
THE LINCOLN CENTER RIGHT AFTER THIS.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID THERE
WAS GOING TO BE OTHER GUESTS.
OH, THEY'LL BE HERE. RICH
PEOPLE ALWAYS COME LATE.
THAT'S HOW YOU
KNOW THEY'RE RICH.
I DON'T HAVE TOO MUCH TIME, SO WHAT
DO YOU SAY WE GET STARTED? RIGHT.
[Clears Throat]
IT ALL STARTED 45 YEARS AGO,
- AND I WAS JUST A LITTLE...
- MEATBALL?
AS I WAS SAYING,
IT ALL STARTED...
OH, HOW ABOUT YOU, MRS.
JEFFERSON? OH, THANK YOU, FLORENCE.
NOW, GETTING BACK TO THE STORY.
FORTY-FIVE YEARS AGO, A WOMAN
WENT INTO THE COTTON FIELD IN ALABAMA.
WHEN SHE CAME OUT,
SHE BROUGHT WITH HER...
CLAM DIP? CHEESE PUFF?
WHY DON'T YOU STOP
HANGING AROUND OUT HERE?
- YOU SAID EVERY TIME...
- DON'T DO WHAT I SAID. DO WHAT I SAY.
IT'S SO HARD TO GET
GOOD HELP THESE DAYS.
OKAY.
I GATHER YOU WERE
BORN 45 YEARS AGO.
YEAH, AND IT WAS A
LONG, TOUGH CLIMB...
FROM THAT RAT-INFESTED
TENEMENT I GREW UP IN.
WE DIDN'T HAVE RATS, GEORGE.
A FEW MICE, MAYBE, BUT NO RATS.
OH, MAMA, MEET MIKE MORENO.
HOW DO YOU DO? FINE, THANK YOU,
ONLY THAT BLOODY
MARY MADE ME SO SLEEPY,
I ALMOST NODDED OFF.
YES, YOU'VE BEEN ALMOST NODDING
OFF FOR TWO-AND-A-HALF HOURS NOW.
MAYBE I BETTER HAVE ANOTHER.
THE SECOND ONE
ALWAYS PERKS ME UP.
NOW, WHAT DO WE
GOT SO FAR? NOTHING,
EXCEPT YOU'RE 45 YEARS OLD.
FORTY-SIX.
I WAS 45 WHEN I STARTED
TELLING THIS STORY.
[Doorbell Rings] DON'T PUT THAT
PENCIL DOWN. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
OH, HELLO! I WAS
WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
WE KNEW THAT, BUT WE
DECIDED TO COME ANYWAY.
COME IN. MEET MIKE MORENO.
THIS IS TOM AND HELEN
WILLIS. HOW ARE YOU?
HOW DO YOU DO? MR. WILLIS,
A PLEASURE MEETING YOU.
TOM, IT WAS NICE OF YOU TO TAKE
TIME OUT OF YOUR BUSY SCHEDULE...
TO BE HERE TONIGHT.
I WOULDN'T HAVE MISSED
THIS FOR THE WORLD.
IT PAYS TO VISIT YOU, GEORGE.
TOM HERE IS A BIG PUBLISHER.
WELL, ACTUALLY, I'M JUST A SENIOR
EDITOR WITH PELHAM PUBLISHING.
WELL, I'M VERY GLAD TO MEET
YOU. I'M WRITING A BOOK, YOU KNOW.
OH, REALLY? YES. YOU
SEE, I'M NEWSPAPERMAN.
HE'S HERE TO DO A STORY ABOUT
ME. I GOT THE IDEA FOR MY BOOK...
FROM THIS SERIES I BEEN
WRITING ON BLACK CAPITALISM.
WE'VE HAD A TREMENDOUS
RESPONSE FROM OUR READERS.
I CAN SEE WHY. THE TIME IS
RIGHT FOR A BOOK LIKE THAT.
BUT HE AIN'T INTERESTED IN THAT RIGHT
NOW. HE'S HERE TO DO A STORY ABOUT ME.
SO WHY DON'T YOU TWO GO OVER
THERE AND MAKE YOURSELVES A DRINK?
- I CAN GET THAT, MR. JEFFERSON.
- YOU CAN GET YOURSELF
BACK IN THE KITCHEN.
- BUT I THOUGHT YOU SAID...
- DON'T THINK! I DO THE THINKING.
WELL, THINK ABOUT GETTING
YOURSELF ANOTHER MAID!
LOUISE, WOULD YOU PLEASE GO AND
SEE WHAT'S BOTHERING THAT YOUNG LADY?
I DON'T HAVE TO.
I'M LOOKING AT IT.
WHY DON'T WE JUST START
FROM THE BEGINNING?
GOOD IDEA. LET'S GO
CLEAR BACK TO WHERE YOU
ASKED ME IF I WANTED
A DRINK AND I SAID NO.
I CHANGED MY MIND. I'D LOVE ONE.
SURE. WHAT'LL YOU HAVE? OH,
DON'T BOTHER. I CAN GET IT MYSELF.
YOU KNOW, MR. WILLIS,
IN THIS BOOK I'M WRITING,
I'M NOT DEALING WITH YOUR
ORDINARY BLACK BUSINESSMAN.
THE PEOPLE I WANT ARE
BANKERS, CORPORATE EXECUTIVES.
THEN YOU OUGHT TO MEET HELEN'S
FATHER. HE'S A CORPORATE EXECUTIVE.
AND BELIEVE ME, HE'S A
CHARACTER. WHO IS HE?
DID YOU EVER HEAR
OF BUTEX INDUSTRIES?
AMERICAN STOCK EXCHANGE?
THAT'S THE ONE. MY
FATHER'S COMPANY PRESIDENT.
WELL, THAT'S FASCINATING. I'D LIKE
TO HEAR MORE ABOUT YOUR FATHER.
WELL, MY FATHER
WAS VERY, VERY POOR.
WE NEVER HAD NOTHING AS KIDS.
IT WAS TOUGH FOR MY FATHER
TO FIND A JOB IN THOSE DAYS.
OH, THAT'S SAD. HOW DID
YOUR FATHER GET HIS START?
HE INHERITED A FARM
FROM MY GRANDFATHER.
OH, TELL HIM ABOUT YOUR
GRANDFATHER, HELEN,
HOW HE TURNED A SMALL, ROCKY
PIECE OF LAND INTO A RICH FARM.
HE STARTED WITH ONE ACRE
AND WOUND UP OWNING HUNDREDS.
THAT'S KIND OF LIKE MY
STORY. I STARTED OUT
WITH ONE RUNDOWN
CLEANING PLANT IN QUEENS...
BUT THAT'S SUCH A LONG
STORY. WHO ASKED YOU?
I WAS TALKING TO TOM. GOOD.
WELL, YOU KEEP TALKING TO HIM.
I KNOW YOU'RE ANXIOUS TO GET
TO MY STORY, SO LET'S GET GOING.
FORTY-FIVE YEARS AGO, A WOMAN
WENT INTO THE COTTON FIELD IN ALABAMA.
AND WHEN SHE CAME...
GEORGE, I THINK I'LL TAKE A NAP.
AGAIN?
THAT BLOODY MARY MADE ME DIZZY.
YOU TELL LOUISE SHE'S BUYING
THE WRONG KIND OF TOMATO JUICE.
WHERE WERE WE?
IN A COTTON FIELD.
OH, RIGHT. WELL, THIS...
[Doorbell Rings]
FLORENCE, GET THE DOOR!
- YOU TOLD ME TO STAY
IN THE KITCHEN!
- GET THE DOOR!
JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE BOSS
DON'T MEAN YOU GOT TO BE SO LAZY.
YOU'RE CLOSER TO
THE DOOR THAN I AM!
YOU COULD'VE HAD IT OPENED, ANSWERED
AND SHUT BEFORE I EVEN GOT NEAR IT!
GOOD EVENING.
MRS. JEFFERSON, IT'S
THAT WEIRDO AND A FOX.
IT'S MR. BENTLEY FROM
THE U.N. HI THERE, BENTLEY.
EVENING, MR. JEFFERSON. ALLOW ME
TO INTRODUCE MISS TANYA PETROVICH.
SHE JUST ARRIVED FROM
RUSSIA THIS AFTERNOON.
MR. JEFFERSON, I
WAS SO EXCITED...
WHEN COMRADE BENTLEY
TOLD ME WE WERE COMING HERE.
SO, THIS IS BLACK GHETTO.
WHY IS EVERYONE
TRYING TO GET OUT?
EVERYBODY, I'D LIKE
YOU TO MEET... YES, YES!
NICE TO MEET YOU. AND YOU
MUST BE MRS. JEFFERSON.
- NO, NO, NO. I'M AFRAID...
- AFRAID?
OF COURSE YOU ARE AFRAID.
IN SOVIET UNION, WE HAVE HEARD MUCH
ABOUT POOR, DOWNTRODDEN BLACKS.
HMM! YOU'RE TALKIN' TO THE
WRONG DOWNTRODDEN BLACK, HONEY.
THIS IS MRS. JEFFERSON.
I'M HELEN WILLIS, AND
THIS IS MY HUSBAND TOM.
MRS. JEFFERSON, I WOULD
KNOW YOU ANYWHERE.
YOU WOULD?
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS BEING MARRIED TO
GEORGE HAS FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH ME.
CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING TO EAT?
PLEASE. NOT TO SPEAK OF FOOD.
YES, I'M AFRAID TANYA
HAD A VERY ROUGH FLIGHT.
SHE WAS AIRSICK ALL THE WAY.
IT WAS THE SEAFOOD THAT DID IT.
JUST THINKING ABOUT
IT MAKES ME NAUSEOUS.
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME
CLAM DIP? NYET! NYET!
OH, THIS AIN'T BAD. BUT WATCH
OUT FOR THEM PIZZA PUFFS.
THEY TASTE LIKE
HOT RUBBER BANDS.
PLEASE. SOME VODKA?
AH, YES, MAKE IT TWO, NEAT.
EVERY TIME I FLY, I GET AIRSICK.
NOT LIKE HIM!
HE CROSSED THE
ATLANTIC IN SAILBOAT.
DID YOU EVER HEAR
OF ANYTHING SO CRAZY?
THAT WASN'T ME, ACTUALLY.
IT WAS MY BROTHER NIGEL.
IN A SAILBOAT? THAT'S FANTASTIC.
THAT AIN'T NOTHIN'. I CROSSED
THE PACIFIC IN AN AIRCRAFT CARRIER.
I'M AN OLD NAVY MAN, YOU KNOW.
YOUR BROTHER ACTUALLY
CROSSED THE ATLANTIC IN A SAILBOAT?
OH, YES. NOT ONCE,
BUT THREE TIMES.
UNFORTUNATELY, HE
ONLY MADE IT TWICE.
- OH.
- LUCKILY, IT WAS THE FIRST
AND THE THIRD TIME.
BUT THE SECOND CROSSING WAS
A BIT OF A STICKY WICKET. [Chuckles]
YES. HE WAS ALONE,
EXCEPT FOR ELOISE.
SHE WAS PREGGERS AT THE TIME.
HE TOOK HIS PREGNANT
WIFE WITH HIM?
- OH, ELOISE WASN'T HIS WIFE.
- OH.
NO. SHE WAS HIS SIAMESE CAT.
- OH?
- YES. HE NEVER MADE
A TRIP WITHOUT HER.
ANYWAY, THEY RAN INTO THIS HURRICANE,
AND THEY LOST THEIR MAST AND SAILS,
AND THEY DRIFTED AROUND
FOR DAYS WITHOUT ANY FOOD.
FINALLY, THEY WERE RESCUED
BY A NORWEGIAN SARDINE BOAT.
WHEN THEY PULLED INTO NEW YORK
HARBOR, ELOISE WEIGHED 53 POUNDS.
I'D LIKE TO MEET THIS CRAZY BROTHER
OF YOURS. YOU'LL GET YOUR CHANCE...
BECAUSE HE'S FLYING INTO NEW YORK
NEXT WEEK TO BEGIN HIS NEW ADVENTURE.
- REALLY? WHAT IS THAT?
- HE PLANS TO PADDLE A CANOE
FROM HERE TO MIAMI BEACH.
- WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?
- HE LOVES SUNSHINE.
THAT'D MAKE A FANTASTIC STORY. I WISH I
COULD HEAR MORE, BUT I DO HAVE TO LEAVE.
WOULD YOU ASK YOUR BROTHER
TO CALL ME? MY PLEASURE.
AND YOU TOO, MRS. WILLIS. I WANNA
GET ALL THE DETAILS STRAIGHT.
THOSE STORIES YOU TOLD ME WILL
MAKE GREAT FEATURES FOR MY PAPER.
WELL, GOOD NIGHT,
EVERYBODY. KEEP ON TRUCKIN'.
RIGHT. WELL...
HOLD IT. AIN'T YOU
FORGETTING SOMETHING?
I DON'T THINK SO. I'VE GOT MY
PAD HERE... NO, WHAT ABOUT ME?
OF COURSE. THANK
YOU FOR INVITING ME.
I GOT A LINE ON
TWO GREAT STORIES:
MRS. WILLIS'S FATHER AND
MR. BENTLEY'S BROTHER.
VERY GOOD. AIN'T YOU
ONE STORY SHORT?
I OWN A CHAIN OF FIVE CLEANING
STORES, STARTED OUT WITH NOTHING.
I ONLY NEED ONE MORE ARTICLE FOR
MY SERIES ON BLACK BUSINESSMEN,
AND MRS. WILLIS'S FATHER IS...
I MEAN, THAT'S A FANTASTIC
STORY. WHAT ABOUT ME?
AND MR. BENTLEY'S BROTHER,
THAT'S A FANTASTIC STORY!
BUT I INVITED YOU HERE!
DON'T THINK I'M NOT GRATEFUL.
DON'T WORRY. I'LL MENTION THAT
I GOT THE STORY AT YOUR PARTY.
YOUR NAME WILL BE RIGHT
IN THERE, MR. JEFFRIES.
WELL, I THINK WE
OUGHT TO BE GOING TOO.
NO! NOBODY'S GOING NO PLACE!
WHY NOT? WE STAYED
OUR $100 WORTH.
SIT DOWN! I GOT SOMETHING I WANT
EVERYBODY TO HEAR! EVERYBODY SIT DOWN!
SIT DOWN!
NOW, REALLY, GEORGE...
YOU TOO, LOUISE, SIT DOWN.
I WANT EVERYBODY TO LISTEN
TO WHAT I GOT TO SAY. NOW...
FORTY-FIVE YEARS AGO...
[Louise] THE JEFFERSONS WAS RECORDED
ON TAPE IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.
♪ MOVIN', MOVIN' ON UP ♪♪