The Ghost and Molly McGee (2021–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - The New (Para)normal - full transcript

A new family moves in across the street from the McGees, but everything doesn't go as planned when it's revealed they're ghost hunters.

Muah-hah-ha-ha!

-♪ I can't believe you're all mine ♪
-Uh, what?

-♪ You and me for all time ♪
-Ugh!

♪ I'm never, ever, ever
Gonna be alone again! ♪

Oh, boy!

-♪ The dream team, you and me ♪
-For all eternity?

-♪ For all eternity! ♪
-(yells)

BOTH: ♪ It's the ghost, it's the ghost ♪

♪ And Molly McGee ♪

♪ I've been cursed, it's the worst! ♪

MOLLY: ♪ Now you're stuck with me! ♪



♪ We're never gonna be apart ♪

♪ Is there a way to hit restart? ♪

-Nope!
-BOTH: ♪ We're the ghost ♪

♪ Ghost and Molly McGee ♪

-That's me!
-Well, that's she.

♪ The Ghost and Molly McGee! ♪

♪ Molly McGee! Molly McGee! ♪
(vocalizing)

-♪ Top billing for me! Molly McGee! ♪
-♪ Molly McGee! ♪

♪ The Ghost and Molly ♪

♪ Molly and the Ghost ♪

♪ She's a she and I'm a ghost! ♪

♪ Two friends rocking out together ♪

Check my chops on this fill!

It's called freestyle music
And I'm exploding it!



♪ Whammy bar! Whammy bar! ♪

♪ I'm slaying with this axe
And working the whammy bar ♪

♪ Slay 'em with the axe
But I'm slappin' the skins! ♪

(vocalizing)

(both sigh)

(sighs) Okay, my arms are tired
but we slayed that.

-We did, we did.
-Pretty incredible.

I mean, I don't know that
we're ever gonna need a theme song.

-Oh, we absolutely will.
-Right, well,

but if we do,
then we're gonna need another take,

because that stupid moving truck
messed this one up.

Moving truck? Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

Code Topaz! Code Topaz!

MOLLY: Circle the welcome wagons!
Shine the turnips!

Chocolate chip the cookies!

There's a new family moving in!

-How exciting!
-Can't wait to meet them!

New neighbors? Uh, no.

I know how this goes, McGees.

You're gonna make friends with them,
you're gonna hang out all the time.

And then, you're gonna want to tell them
about the greatest thing in your life.

Me. Well, I'm putting my foot down.

My social circle is closed!
(screams)

(yells)

What's the big idea?

I mean, the Chairman's gone.

We should be past
this whole dragging me here

against my will thing.

Yes, about that...

Since you are the ghost

who technically vanquished the Chairman.

You are now the leader of the Ghost World!

Oh, my liege.

(exclaims)

(whistles)

♪ Welcome our new neighbors
To our neighborhood ♪

♪ We've brought you lots of goodies ♪

♪ Just like a neighbor should! Hey! ♪

(whooshing, crackles)

Pete McGee, city planner
and unofficial welcome wagoneer.

This is my wife, Sharon,
and our kids Molly and Darryl.

Great to meet you. We're the Chens.

Ruben, Esther, Oliver, and Juniper.

I prefer June...

(chuckles)
Right. June.

As a token of our friendship,

we McGees present
the traditional Brighton turnip.

(sniffs, gags)
They smell like boiled toenails.

June, honey, remember what to say
when we receive a gift?

Oh, right! "Thank you for the gift.

How kind of you to think of us."

I'm autistic and I guess not everyone
can handle my unbridled truth.

Honesty is the best policy!

Hey, June, looks like
Darryl's about your age.

You'll have a built-in friend at school!

(nervous chuckle)
Legally,

I am required to disclose
that Darryl is... a bit of a handful.

I don't mean to brag,
but I do hold the record

for being called
to the principal's office.

I never go to the principal's office.

But a lot of my gadgets
do get confiscated...

(tinkles)

Tell me more about these gadgets.

This one is so cool.

So first of all, it has four rotors
and I built it with a solar panel...

"City Council meeting schedule"?

"Bandshell concert line-up"?

"101 ways to get involved
in your community"?

Yes! Whoever wrote
these pamphlets completely gets me.

Oh, that'd be me.

You can tell because I used
my favorite eco-friendly stickers.

Fun fact, they are compostable.
And scented!

(chuckles)
Strawberries.

Uh, now let me lend you a helping hand!

(strains, gasps)

Only if you let me lend you
one right back!

(nervous chuckle)

So, what you're telling me is

the guy who vanquishes the Chairman

-becomes the Chairman?
-GHOST COUNCIL: Yes.

Why not just a,
you know, a nice gift basket

with cheese and crackers?

We have something better.

The Chairman's Robe!

(sniffs, gags)
That thing reeks of responsibility.

Hard pass.

Please, Scratch! We need a leader!

Well, here's the thing, see?

Authority and I do not mix.

(clicks tongue)
You get me?

But everyone is waiting
to hear your first decree!

-Come see.
-What?

SCRATCH: Why would I...
I have nothing to...

(Ghost Crowd cheering)

(clears throat)

Attention Ghost World Citizens!

Uh, the Chairman is gone
and honestly, we're better off!

We don't need anyone
telling us what to do.

(Ghost Crowd gasp)

Scare reports? Why? Who cares?

You don't have to do those anymore.

Scaring? Not mandatory!

Everyone does what they want now!

-(Ghost Crowd cheering)
-Well, that was easy.

(snarling, shrieking)

Now, if you'll ex-squeeze me,
I used Pete's credit card

to order a boatload of ice cream,
and I intend to collect.

Wait! But without a Chairman,
what are we supposed to do?

I dunno. Enjoy your afterlife.
(laughs)

These guys, I gotta think of everything.

-(glass shattering)
-You'll feel at home in no time.

Unless... Uh, how do you feel
about spicy food?

-I love it!
-Me, too!

But you won't find anything spicier
than a pinch of black pepper

within a thousand miles of here.

Oh, but don't worry,
I've got a secret stash

of chilis I'm happy to share!

Take as many as you want!
Preferably all of them!

Your kids can't handle the spice either?

Wimps. Sometimes I question
if they're actually mine.

Wow. Lots of video equipment here.

Makes my flip phone feel inadequate.

Ah, it's for work.

We have a mildly popular MeTube Channel.

Feel free to borrow
our equipment any time.

You want a video
where you're surfing on a cloud

and high-fiving the sun?

Yes! More than anything, I want that!

Esther can make it happen.

You know what, why don't you guys
come over tomorrow for a barbecue?

Really cement this friendship
over grilled meats!

(laughs)
Unless... Are you vegetarians?

We can do corn. I love corn!
Grilled corns!

No, no. We'd love to.

And we all meat. Except Ollie.

I want to reduce my carbon footprint.

(sighs, whispers)
He's so cool.

(all sigh)

I'm just gonna say it. I love them.

Finally, someone
with an appreciation for spicy food!

And you gotta respect June's drone skills.

What about Ruben?
I mean, it's like how is a guy

that cool hanging out with me?
(chuckles)

I feel like they were the last piece

in the Forever Home puzzle,
a "best friend family!"

I can see it now,
we'll do everything together.

Summer camps!
Vacations with matching T-shirts!

-Pool parties!
-Did someone say pool party?

Because I used your credit card
to buy an amazing new pool float.

Now, it was expensive,
but it's also shaped like pizza.

Here, lemme show you.
You won't even be mad!

(gasps)
What are you doing here?

I told you to enjoy your afterlife!

But... but we don't know how!

Then we thought,

"Who knows how to be lazy
and good for nothing"?

And naturally, we thought of you.

-What should we do?
-(overlapping whining)

Fine! First, you're gonna need names.

We have names.

Wait, have you been referring to us

as just "The Ghost Council"
this whole time?

What? That would be very rude.

I don't know what we expected
from you, honestly.

I am Sir Alister.

-Lucretia.
-Bartholomew.

And I am Grimbella.

It's a family name.

Not sure those are better than
"The Ghost Council,"

but, hey, it's a start!

(singing) ♪ It isn't super tricky
All you gotta do is be ♪

♪ Just a little less like you guys ♪

♪ And a little more like me ♪

♪ No more meetings, no more work ♪

♪ No responsibility ♪

♪ The Chairman's gone ♪

♪ You're completely free ♪

♪ Enjoy your afterlife ♪

♪ Do what you wanna do ♪

♪ Enjoy your afterlife ♪

♪ Maybe eat a croissant or two ♪

♪ There are no rules ♪

♪ No restrictions and no strife ♪

♪ Just kick back and relax
And enjoy your afterlife ♪

Now, let's talk interests.
Hobbies, passions.

What've you always wanted to do
but didn't have the time?

That's easy!
Re-alphabetize the ancient scrolls!

Add color coding
to the scare report template.

No, no, no. Think fun stuff!

(gasps)
Buy a standing desk!

-Ugh!
-Scratch.

-♪ Long before I was a ghost... ♪
-Uh-huh?

-♪ What I really wanted most... ♪
-Yes?

♪ Was to learn how to play ♪

-SIR ALISTER: The lute.
-That's dumb.

You sound like my father.

♪ He said "Foolish boy" ♪

♪ This lute is a boorish toy ♪

♪ And then he cut the strings
To mute my pursuit... ♪

-♪ Of the lute ♪
-What a brute!

♪ Well, hey! Let's stick it
To your old man ♪

♪ Buy a lute, make a practice plan ♪

♪ Then, I dunno, go on tour ♪

♪ In a lute-shaped minivan ♪

Or something.

Ooh! That sounds positively delightful!

Perhaps I'll even grow a soul patch.

♪ Enjoy your afterlife ♪

♪ No one's a boss of me ♪

♪ Enjoy your afterlife ♪

-♪ That's a basic philosophy ♪
-♪ You know ♪

♪ There are no rules, no restrictions ♪

♪ And no strife ♪

♪ Take my advice ♪

♪ Just kick back, relax ♪

♪ And enjoy your afterlife ♪

♪ Do whatever you want
But enjoy your afterlife ♪

♪ Preferably elsewhere ♪

How do I look?
Does this apron make me look cool?

-I mean, like, Ruben-cool?
-RUBEN: Knocky-knock!

It's too late! Never mind. They're here!

Be cool.
(whimpers)

(nervous chuckle)

Hey, neighbor, come on in.

Don't mind the apron, I just threw it on.

Didn't want to show up empty-handed

so I brought some special
small-batch root beer!

"Small batch"? That means cool!

I mean, look at the guy on the label!

-(gasps) That guy's you!
-It is indeed.

Just when I thought
you couldn't get any cooler!

Ah, there we go.

Let the bubbles soothe your troubles.

Mm.

-(lute strings plucking)
-(grunts)

(plucking continues)

No old-timey guitar during bath time!

You said there was no Chairman,
therefore, no rules!

There are rules
when I want there to be rules!

-(discordant tone)
-Hmph.

Let me show you the garden.

These are Pete's prized begonias.
Blah, blah, blah.

What we're really here for
are these babies!

Pick your poison: Thai chili?

Sichuan peppercorn? Carolina reaper?

-Last one to cry wins?
-You're on!

(munching)

(strained laugh)

This would barely register on the...

(gasping)
Scoville scale!

-This is a mild batch!
-(sirens blare)

What a strange way to bond.

My mouth hurts just watching them.

-Oh.
-(nervous laughter)

-(both gasp)
-Check it out!

June made a tiny drone
for Heidi Hairylegs!

How cool is that?

It was a simple
engineering problem that was...

JUNE: Ah, wah?

-Oops.
-(Heidi chittering)

Suddenly, I'm not hungry anymore.

(shudders)
Spiders.

Why do they have so many legs?

(chuckles)
Right?

Come on, I'll give you a tour
of our spider-free house.

Hey, Heidi gets to fly
and we get the chips!

Nice job, June!

Here's the kitchen, pretty standard.

Uh, wanted to start small

and build up
to the best room in the house.

Drum roll!

(imitates drumroll)

-My room!
-Wow.

I think it's so cool
how you inspired the community

to rebuild that old bandshell.

I'm also passionate about
making our world a better place.

I like to call it, "en-goodifying."

(gasps)

That's like "en-happifying"

but a little different but mostly the same
and I am here for it!

"En-happify..."

I like that!

Okay, crazy idea,

what if the bandshell
weren't just for music?

Are you thinking a summer
theater workshop camp for kids?

With a showcase
of their original play finale?

Combined with an ice cream social
to draw in the crowds?

BOTH: I love it!

(chuckles)

I bet Mom could help us make posters.

She's great with graphics.

Okay, so give me
the crash course in Oliver Chen.

Where are you from?
What brought you to Brighton?

Don't leave out a single detail.

I'll be able to tell if you do.

Well, we moved from upstate New York.

Just finished
a big cross-country family road trip.

We went to Gettysburg
to see the battlefield,

Salem, the Alamo in San Antonio,

this creepy lighthouse in Florida,

the site of the Chicago fire,

and a haunted mansion in New Orleans.

Whoa! I'm sensing a spooky theme here.

Yeah, the truth is...

We were visiting
the most haunted cities in America.

(gasps)
Do you believe in ghosts?

(laughter)

Molly, help!
These ghosts are out of control!

Of course, I believe in ghosts.
My whole family does.

We're ghost hunters!

(rumbles)

Ghost what nows?

(spooky music playing)

(spooky music continues playing)

(barks)

Sweet baby corn.

(dramatic music)

Oh, you're not showing me your room?

I thought it was
the best spot in the house!

There was a drumroll even.

Well, uh, yes,
there... there was a drumroll.

But, um, then, I learned

that you and your family
are ghost hunters!

(clears throat) Sorry.
(chuckles)

So I think you may prefer the basement!

It's pretty spooky!

"Spooky"? Are there ghosts down there?

(chuckles nervously)
"Are there ghosts... down there?"

Well, I don't...
I don't know if there are.

Ghosts, I mean, you're the expert.

So go check it out and you can tell me.

And meanwhile, I'm gonna take
a quick pop to the ladies.

I get, uh, fancy sometimes and...

also overshare. Sorry, bye!

(clicking)

Ghost huggers?

Scratch, Ghost hunters.

Huh? Oh. Well, that's even worse!

The Ghost Council's
currently turning our home

into a three-ring circus!

I mean, the timing could not be worse!

Okay, this is what we're gonna do.

-Okay. Yeah.
-I'm gonna warn the family.

-And get rid of the Chens.
-Yes.

You are gonna get rid of the ghosts, okay?

Now when you say, "get rid of the Chens,"
do you mean like...

(hoarse groan)
..."get rid of 'em"?

-Or just...
-No, Scratch! I'm gonna send them home.

-To their home, where they live.
-I had to ask.

-I had to ask.
-Where they stay alive!

-Just get rid of the ghosts!
-Listen, I don't know

where your mind goes sometimes.

(whirring)

MOLLY: Psst.

McGees!

Oh, there you are.
Do you want a beef or veggie patty?

Veggie, please. But, um...

I need to tell
you something important, Mom...

Grab a plate.
And try one of Ruben's root beers.

They're delicious!

(whimpers, whispers)
Ghost hunters!

Hunt... ghosts.

Molly, why are you acting so weird?

Why would I be acting weird?
(laughs)

You're weird for asking
why I'm being weird!

Sorry. She's usually embarrassing
in a totally different way.

Oh. This way seems very embarrassing.

So, Molly, that basement
was pretty spooky.

Saw plenty of, ugh... centipedes.

Not a fan. But, really,
I didn't see one single ghost...

Oh, no! A rogue water hose!
Everyone inside!

Phew! I thought you got rid of them!

They won't listen to me!

Molly, what has gotten into you?
Why would you do that?

Yeah, I was finally broaching
the subject of a joint pool!

Because our new neighbors
are ghost hunters!

The Chens came to Brighton
to hunt ghosts...

-(whimpers)
-...you know like...

Me! And... and also them!

Look at us in our unabashed merriment!

-Whee!
-(laughter)

But we love the Chens!

(chitters)

But keeping them around

would put a member of the family
in danger.

And not just any member.

Your favorite member of the family!

Don't worry, Scratch!

We won't let anyone hurt you!

-(sobs)
-(grunts)

Ok, well, you're hurting me. Right now.

Too tight. Too tight! Molly!

Uh, sorry. The water pressure around here
has been so... unpredictable?

You'll probably never want
to come over here ever again...

Oh, nonsense!

A little water can't spoil our fun!

Oh, of course, they wouldn't
let this ruin their fun

because they are perfect.

Scratch, if you can't
get rid of the Ghost Council,

at least keep them out of sight!

Can do. Wait, where'd they go?

This is supposed to be fun?

It's supposed to be on the beat!

Now spin like you mean it!

-Out of order!
-(booing)

I humbly request
that everyone go upstairs.

Please! Unless you want
to get caught by ghost hunters.

Fine, we'll go. But what about them?

(shrieking)

-(shrieks)
-Who are these guys?

Frightmares!

The Frightmares
are truly terrifying ghouls

who were kept
in the Flow of Failed Phantoms

-for the safety of both worlds.
-(screaming)

They only take commands from the Chairman.

If only he was around...

I wanna be clear. I like you the least.

Uh, the Chens gotta leave now.
Like, now-now!

(Frightmares shrieking)

Okay, I see what you mean.

But how do we ditch the Chens
without making them suspicious?

Why did I tell them, "Mi casa es su casa"?

"Come over any time, don't even knock,

you're family!" Why?

The only way to get them to leave
is for this barbecue to be over.

McGees, I hope you're hungry.

(munching)

(upbeat music playing)

♪ To clear the room you must consume ♪

♪ You gotta stuff your face ♪

♪ You gotta stuff your face ♪

(gulps)

♪ Protecting the ghost
That you love the most ♪

♪ With a fork full of pork
And some Texas toast ♪

♪ You say you dislike it
You gotta clean your plate ♪

♪ Eat an obscene amount of beans ♪

These are great.

♪ You burn the burgers
You over-spice 'em ♪

♪ But that's exactly
The way they like 'em ♪

♪ Regretting your trip
To the Big Box Club ♪

Why did I buy the five-gallon tub?

Curse you, economy of scale!

♪ Complete disregard
For appropriate portions ♪

♪ Your intestines are doing contortion ♪

♪ Your body is changing proportion ♪

♪ But you don't stop,
You eat more shrimp ♪

Eat faster!

-♪ So many more shrimp ♪
-(cries)

♪ To clear the room you must consume ♪

♪ The room, the room ♪

♪ You gotta stuff your face! ♪

(all groan)

Mm. I'm stuffed.

Well, we don't want
to keep you from digesting.

And you've probably got lots
and lots to unpack, so...

-So we'll just see ya tomorrow!
-At your place!

-Tomorrow.
-Can't wait.

-Bye, Molly.
-(giggles)

-(all sigh)
-Oh, corn!

Okay, Scratch, we did our part.

Now do yours, please!

-(Frightmare shrieks)
-(Scratch grunts)

-Ah!
-(shrieks)

Okay, seriously, will you guys
please help me here?

We are having fun! No rules!

Yeah, we only have to listen
to the Chairman!

And you said there is no Chairman!

Unless you've changed your mind...

(groans)
Fine!

(sniffs, gags)

Responsibility.
(retches)

SCRATCH (in a booming voice):
Frightmares!

(Frightmares snarl)

Ooh! So powerful.

Echo-y. Got a lot of bass to it.

(booming voice)
I am the Chairman!

Leave this house! Now!

(shrieking)

That's more like it!
And you guys, too. Fun's over.

And I'm givin' them... the boot!

(ethereal music playing)

Okay, obviously, some ghosts
cannot handle having no rules,

and someone has to be in charge.

Now, unfortunately, that someone is me.

So, ya know, do not go causing trouble

because that causes trouble
for me and, boy, do I hate it.

Okay, goodbye.

There. Happy?

Extremely.

Well, you tricked me into this
so now you're stuck being my advisors.

We live to serve the Chairman.

But can we still have fun once in a while?

(sighs)
Yeah, sure.

Yeah, cut loose on the weekends.

Just make sure you don't leave out
any important info again.

I'm lookin' at you Grimb...
Grambo? Grimble?

I wanna say Grimbleshanks?

Grimbella.

Is it too late to change that?
No? You're really happy with it?

I'm sor... Okay.
'Cause it is a lovely name.

(all gasp)

Sorry, new uniform.

And yes, it is as itchy as it looks.

I love you, Scratch, I do.

But, man,
Esther would've made a great friend.

Ruben makes root beer!

Why'd a family so perfect
have to be ghost haters?

Well, you know, just a thought,

what if we stay friends with the Chens?

-At their house.
-Sounds like a terrible idea.

Yeah, they might get suspicious
if we suddenly start not being friends.

Like, so we stay chummy
to protect Scratch?

-Throw 'em off the scent?
-That doesn't make a lot of...

Keep your friends close,
keep your enemies closer.

You're right about the enemy part,
but the...

keeping them close seems like a no...

Not enemies, Mom. Just misguided folks.

And maybe, eventually,
we can help them see

how adorable some ghosts can be.

You're still hugging a little too hard.

SCRATCH AND MOLLY:
♪ The Ghost and Molly McGee ♪

(alarm blares)

(gasps)

That's the paranormal sensors
I installed on the roof!

Whoa, that's some major spectral activity.

RUBEN: Chens, looks like
we were right about this town.

The ghost hunt is on.

(dramatic music)

(closing theme music playing)