The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (1990–1996): Season 5, Episode 21 - Save the Last Trance for Me - full transcript

[instrumental music]

Look, Carlton,
for the last time, no.

I do not want a hypnotist
at my bachelor party.

But, Will, you don't know
how incredibly cool it is.

I don't want cool, fool.

I want something simple.

Just me and my boys
barking like seals

at naked women.

[imitating a seal]

But, Will, that's so
politically incorrect.

No one likes naked women
anymore, believe me.



Tell me again, why did I
make you my best man?

Because you said I'm like
the brother you never had.

No, no, I said you like
the brother I never wanted.

Look, Will, I put a lot of
thought into this.

The least you can do
is keep an open mind.

[sighs]

Alright, alright, fine.

Maybe there is something
to this hypnotism stuff.

You are getting shorter.

When you wake up,
you will be very, very short.

Damn, see,
that stuff does work.

[theme song]

♪ Now this is a story ♪

♪ All about how my life
got flipped ♪



♪ Turned upside-down ♪

♪ And I'd like to take a minute
just sit right there ♪

♪ I'll tell you
how I became the prince ♪

♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪

♪ In West Philadelphia,
born and raised ♪

♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪

♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxing all cool ♪

♪ And all shootin' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪

♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared ♪

♪ And said you're moving
with your auntie ♪

♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪

♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪

♪ The license plate said fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪

♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪

♪ But I thought
nah forget it ♪

♪ Yo homes to Bel-Air ♪

♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

♪ And I yelled
to the cabbie ♪

♪ Yo homes smell you later ♪

♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪

Philip, honey,
here are the directions

to the Crescent Rock School.

Now, you have to have
Nicky there

or his interview
by 10 a.m.

What?
That interview was today?

Philip, don't tell me you--

- Well, uh.. Uh..
- Hmm.

Distant drums say man
with giant pants

forget important interview.

Will, this is serious.

This is one of the top two
schools in L.A.

Oh. I was just playing,
Aunt Viv.

It's cool, relax y'all.
I'll take Nicky.

Hillary, what are you doing
in about two hours?

Sorry, dad,
I have a hair appointment.

Well, can't you cancel it?

[laughing]

Good one, daddy. Ha.

Uh, hello. I said
I'll take him, Uncle Phil.

Carlton.

Got a class.

Uh, Will Smith's
in the house.

- Hello.
- Geoffrey.

Certainly, sir.

I'll just have to make this

triple fudge bundt cake
tomorrow.

- Mm. Geoffrey's out.
- Geoffrey's out.

Ashley, can you drive him?

Sure, my bike has a basket.

Well, Uncle Phil,
it looks like it's down to
me.

Or that weird dude
that be vacuuming our pool.

- Oh, Gus is here?
- Uncle Phil. Look.

Oh, alright. Alright, you can,
you can take him.

Alright.

Big mistake.

Hey, what are you
talking about?

What, you think
I don't want Nicky

to get into
a good school?

Education is very important
to me.

Say, don't you have
a class now?

Oh, that's not important.

[instrumental music]

Alright, little man,
suppose they ask you

why you wanna go
to their school.

- What do you tell them?
- I don't know.

Of course, you do.

You say, "I think this school

"has a nurturing environment
which will best

realize my education
potential."

Or you could say, "In two years,
I'll be bigger than you."

Will, if you don't mind

I'm trying to get Nicky ready
for his interview.

Well, you need to stop
pressuring him.

You treat him like a
ventriloquist dummy.

That's not what I'm doing.

Nicky, what school
do you wanna go to?

The best school in L.A.
Crescent Rock School.

Yeah, I was wrong, Carlton.

You the dummy.

[instrumental music]

Hey, Nicky, check it out.

Yo, post up, post up,
post up.

Ooh.

Hey, you alright?
Hey, look.

Now, Nicky, I don't want you
to be nervous, alright?

I want you to ignore everything
that Carlton said.

Just be yourself, alright?

[grunts]

Now I know what Uncle Phil
must feel like in a Miata.

Hi, I'm Penny Abigail Jillette.

This school has a warm,
nurturing atmosphere.

I'm Nicky.
Is there any apple juice?

Hi, I'm Ruby Jillette.
I'm Penny's mom.

Oh, hey. Hi, I'm Will.
I'm Nicky's cousin.

Ah.

That may be why the other adults
were standing.

Uh, well, Penny seems to be a..

...really bright little
girl.

[crashes]

- Sorry.
- Uh..

Um, yes, she is.

She started writing poetry
at age three.

And now she's publishing
a little magazine

for the kids on the Internet.

Yeah, well, you know, Nicky be
writing too. You know, yeah.

You know,
he-he just wrote, produced

directed his
first screenplay.

"The Forest Gumby."

Look, I can make myself dizzy.

Nick..

Nicky..

That's a part
of his comedy act.

Yeah, that one killed them
at Def Jam, Junior. Ha-ha.

Nicky, why don't you sit? Ooh.

[chuckles]

Hi, I'm Miss Jansen, one of
the kindergarten teachers.

Basically, we're just
observing the kids.

Seeing how they play and how
they interact with one another.

Oh, hey, well, Nicky here is
a big interacter.

You might call him the last
interaction hero, you know.

Well, it looks like we've got
a couple of sculptors here.

I made an Arabian stallion.

That's remarkable.

Well, wait till y'all see
what Nicky made.

Shoot, it's, uh..

This-this, this is a..

It looks like a rock.

This is that mountain
from Hawaii

Mount Kichikichiyayadada.

It's really a turtle.
He's inside his shell.

Is he hiding because
he's nervous

about going to a new school?

No, he's watching
"Power Rangers."

[chuckles]

Well, that's great.

I've gotta go now
and set up your snacks.

Can I help?

Sure you can, Nicky.
Come on.

[scoffs]

What you making now?

What, an artificial
heart valve?

[instrumental music]

So how'd the interview go?

Oh, great.

You know, I mean, not "Great"
great, you know.

'But it was good.
It was good. You know.'

You know, not that good,
you know.

But.. What is the word
I'm looking for?

Bad?

Worse than that,
but I'll go with bad.

Oh, Will.

Look, come on, Uncle Phil,
it wasn't Nicky's fault.

That's right.

Will's the one that got
yelled at for stealing.

Look.

Well, she had it coming
after the way

she talked about
your mountain.

It was a turtle.

Nicky, go make yourself dizzy.

Nicky, Nicky, Nicky.

Stop, stop, look. Just sit down.
Sit here. Ah.

Nice work, Will.

You'd better hope that he gets
into the Considine School.

The head of admissions
is coming tonight

to interview the entire family

and unfortunately,
that includes you.

Ho-ho. Hold the phone,
big guy.

Will and I have a magical
evening planned.

Uncle Phil, are you sure that
while Aunt Viv was pregnant

with Carlton she wasn't,
you know?

You promised we'd go see
the hypnotist, remember?

[sighs]

Oh, look at this.

Tippy The Drunken Penguin
is his opening act.

Ooh, you think we could get him
for my bachelor party?

I wish.

Do whatever you want.

Just be sure you're back
here

promptly at 8:00.

We're going to show those people
from Considine school

that we're a warm,
caring loving family

or I'm going to kill you.

Oh, come on, Uncle Phil,
hasn't there been enough

black-on-black violence?

Man, I will see you at 8:00.

[instrumental music]

At the sound of the bell, you
will awaken from your trance.

However, you will think that
you are naked.

Three, two..

[bell dings]

[screaming]

[applauding]

Look, Will, she thinks she's
naked. Isn't this exciting?

Carlton, are you sure
Aunt Viv didn't..

Now, who would like to be
my next volunteer?

Someone who doesn't
embarrass easily.

Pick me, oh, Great Mentos,
pick me.

Ooh. Shoot me, oh, Great Mentos,
shoot me.

Uh.. How about you?

[sighs]

[instrumental music]

You are in a state of full
relaxation.

The sound of my voice is
very soothing.

And you will accept any
suggestion that I make.

I want to take you back.

At the sound of the bell,
you will be four years old.

(Carlton)
'Will, wake up.'

The show is almost over
and you haven't

even touched your pie.

Pie.

Oh, my God, Uncle Phil.

Carlton, we were supposed to be
back at the house at 8 o'clock.

Come on, I'm gonna go
get our coats.

Remember, at the sound
of the bell

you will be four years old.

[bell dings]

[mumbling]

[giggling]

[bell dings]

Can I help you?

Could I have my coat?

My fault.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

- Hey, hey.
- Well, it's about time.

The man from Considine School's
gonna be here any minute.

Hey, look, I'm sorry
we're late, Uncle Phil.

And you just forget it.

There's no way I'm
humiliating myself

by having some corny loser
at my bachelor party.

Hey, don't talk about
The Great Mentos like that.

I wasn't.

Alright, just settle down
you two.

- Is everything ready, Ashley?
- I think so.

I've replaced all the video
tapes with insect documentaries.

Good Lord, Hilary.
What are you reading?

The Victoria's Secret catalog.

It's their end-of-the-season
thong blowout. Ha-ha.

Ooh.
That's a good issue too.

Everything in there is half off.
You know what I'm saying?

That is not the kind of image
we wanna present. Give me that.

Well, better yet,
give me that.

Oh, there you are.
There's my little man.

Come on, sweetheart,
have a seat right here.

Philip, this is ridiculous.

I hate pretending
to be something we're not.

Oh. Well, fine, Vivian

so Nicky doesn't get into
a good school this year.

He can stay home with Will
watching "Power Rangers"

and making himself dizzy.

Honey, here, just hold this.

And-and try to stay awake.

Whoa, G, man,
something smells good.

Aren't you glad I use Dial?

Oh, you meant the crab puffs.

Yeah, man, these things
is kind of tiny.

I seen Uncle Phil pick bigger
chunks of food out of his teeth.

[doorbell rings]

Come in.

That never works.

He's here.
We better get out there.

[grunts]

What the heck is
wrong with you?

I gotta go potty.

What are you telling me for?

You gotta take me, please?
Come on.

Hey, the buddy system stops
at the pool, mister.

Look, come on, I gotta go.

Come on, come on, come on.

[doorbell rings]
Come on, Carlton.

What are you tripping for?
Uncle Phil's in there, let's go.

Will's acting kind of weird.

It must be all that rap music.

I'd like to strangle the man
who invented the doorbell.

The bell, that's it.

Geoffrey,
Will's been hypnotized.

The Great Mentos made him think
he's four years old.

Can he make me think I care?

Will, Will.

And this is our son, Carlton.

[chuckles]

Well, and this must be Nicholas.

Yes, stand up, Nicholas
and shake Mr. Spiegel's hand.

I can't, my legs are numb.

Oh. Oh.

Look at that, the boy would
rather read than walk.

Isn't that beautiful?

So who's the musician?

Oh, that would be me.

I play a little cello.

But this is a bass.

Well, the cello's in the shop,
this is a loaner.

Oh, the "World of Discovery"
series.

This one is marvelous.

"The Ant, Nature's
Busiest Worker."

Oh, yes. Ants are
extremely intelligent.

I still can't believe
they run their own farms.

(Vivian)
'Well, yes. Mr. Spiegel.'

Won't you try one of our
crab puffs?

I got the recipe from our
favorite little bistro

in Paris, Le Bistro.

Actually, madam, I got it from
the Gary Coleman Cookbook.

Hope you like short ribs.

[oven timer rings]

Ah, I hear the little guys now.

So is that a Princeton tie
you're wearing?

Oh, I'm a Princeton man.
Class of '69.

You're kidding.
Class of '73.

[laughing]

You like seafood?

Of course.

See, food.

♪ Crash through
the line of blue ♪

♪ And send the backs on
'round the end ♪

♪ Fight fight for every yard ♪

♪ Princeton's honor to defend ♪

♪ Rah rah rah ♪♪

(Philip)
'Argh!'

Come on, Will,
let's go in the kitchen.

I don't want to. No.

- I'll give you a snickerdoodle.
- Okay.

Certainly is great to have
another Princeton Tiger

in the house.

I need something that rings.

Oh, I know, the oven timer.

Oh, H-E-double-toothpicks.

Ooh.

Geoffrey, do you have anything
with bells on it?

Why, certainly,
Master Carlton.

I just happen to have
a trolley in my trousers.

Whoa! I need you to stay
put,
young man.

- Do you understand?
- Yes.

Okay, now I'm gonna go look
for something with a bell.

You're not gonna move,
right?

- No.
- Good.

Simon says, "Freeze."

That's it. Little boys who don't
behave go to the pool house.

Make me.

My pleasure,
you little rug rat.

Ooh, ooh. Stop, I'm gonna tell.
Stop, I'm gonna tell.

Help! Help!

That's it.
You're on a time out, mister.

Now, come on.
You're sitting in the corner.

What the hell is going on
in here?

He can't talk to you, dad,
he's in time out.

I don't care what kind of
shenanigans

you two are trying to pull here.

We're not pulling anything, dad.

'Will's been hypnotized.'

He'll snap out of it if
I find a bell

but I can't find one to
ring.

I'll ring your head like a bell
if you don't get in there.

When I first read the brochure
for Considine School

I knew it was the perfect--

Somebody wanna hear a joke?

Excuse me, Will.
I'm talking here.

- So I decided--
- Okay.

What's the most musical part
of your body?

I don't know.

Your nose because you can pick
it and blow it.

[laughing]

I don't get it.

Okay, okay, I got another one.
I got another one.

Will, could I speak to you
for a minute, please?

Pick it and blow it,
oh, I get it. Ha-ha.

Excuse me, mister, I'll shine
your head for a nickel.

Will. Over here. Now!

He's a little
high-strung, isn't he?

Oh, look what you did
to the poor little fella.

For the love of God,
does nobody have a bell?

Obviously, you're in some sort
of a family crisis here

and I think it's best
if I just be going.

Uh, uh, oh, no, please.
Mr. Spiegel.

I can explain the entire
situation.

I'm sure you can.

To another school.

Good luck.

I found a bell.

[ringing]

What the hell is in those
crab puffs?

[instrumental music]

Well, that hypnotist
certainly can put on a show.

Yeah, I'm just glad
he unhypnotized me.

Too bad we got stuck behind that

ice cream truck
on the way there.

Yeah, those bells turned you
into a raving maniac.

Hey, I missed dinner, okay?

Philip, you'll never guess
what happened.

The Crescent Rock School called,
they've accepted Nicky.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Oh, put it there, my man.

- Pssh!
- Pssh!

They said it was his sincerity
that impressed them the most.

They liked that he was just
being himself.

That's what Will
told me to do.

Oh, you preach it there,
little bro.

That's what
I'm talking about.

You know, it just seems to me
that there might be

a cash gift involved here
somewhere, I don't know.

Well, I'll settle for
just a hearty handshake.

Psh, psh. Alright, bro.

- Don't push it.
- Come on.

Uncle Phil, I know you're not

still mad at me about
last night.

I was hypnotized.
I couldn't help it.

No, I suppose not.

I guess weak-willed individuals
like you are just susceptible

to that kind of
mental manipulation.

[doorbell rings]

[barking]

Hey, hey, hey.

Look, I'll walk him,
but somebody else gonna have to

pooper scoop.

[instrumental music]

[theme song]

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪♪