The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (1990–1996): Season 5, Episode 14 - It's a Wonderful Lie - full transcript

Lisa, hey, baby.

I know I talked to you three
minutes ago, but I missed you.

Phoebe, no! Phoebe.

[growls]

Hey, I'm on a phone call,
I'll be out in a sec.

Phoebe, down!

No! Phoebe, no!

Yeah, Lisa,
you know I love you, baby.

- 'Phoebe!'
- Yes, I love you.

Alright,
so I'll see you tonight?

Alright. Bye-bye.



Oh, so, Carlton,
what did you want?

[theme song]

♪ Now this is a story ♪

♪ All about how my life got
flipped turned upside down ♪

♪ And I'd like to take a minute
just sit right there ♪

♪ I'll tell you how
I became the prince ♪

♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪

♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪

♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪

♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxin' all cool ♪

♪ And all shootin' some B-ball
outside of the school ♪

♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared and said ♪



♪ You're movin' with your auntie
and uncle in Bel-Air ♪

♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪

♪ The license plate said fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪

♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪

♪ But I thought nah forget it
yo homes to Bel-Air ♪

♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

♪ And I yelled to the cabbie
yo homes smell you later ♪

♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪♪

[instrumental music]

Stop it.

Don't move.

Let me see you caress
the syrup with your tongue.

Why don't you
let me see you caress

a Tic Tac with your tongue?

When you are angry, your
whole
face, it has such character.

Well, look, why don't you get up
out of my character

while I'm eatin'?

I must rush to the easel while
the hostility is still fresh.

Daddy, why do we have to do
a family portrait anyway?

Well, we're in transition,
sweetheart.

And I want a portrait
to capture us as we are

before we drift further apart.

By the way, Hilary,
what are you doing here?

Well, it's so dark at my house.
None of the lights work.

Hilary, you have to have
the power turned on.

Why don't you call
the electric company?

Well, I tried,
but the phone doesn't work.

A-about this portrait, sir..

...am I to be involved?

Well, I don't know, I suppose
when it's finished

you'll dust it.

Dad, I hope he's not
painting it tonight

because a bunch of us
are going ice skating.

Yes, and I'm going to a Quayle
in '96 Tupperware Party.

[instrumental music]

Hey, hey. So you guys know
about this party tonight, right?

Oh, yeah, yeah, man, you
know

everybody knows about
that big party.

- Alright, cool.
- Alright.

Yo, man, how come I don't know
about that party?

You out of the mix, man.
You're married.

Oh, whoa, whoa wait a minute,
just 'cause I got a girl

don't mean I still can't
hang with my boys.

Hey, cool, but be warned

there's gonna be
females up in there.

Girls will be swarming
like bees.

Let them swarm on back
'cause I got the queen.

Okay, but once
the party starts buzzin'

you're gonna wish
your stinger was free.

Alright, hold on,
hold on hold on.

The honey is always sweeter
at the hive.

Now, you know bees got to go
from flower to flower.

Oh, yes, sir, but once they
start pollinating

then they what..

Happen, uh..

Look, can we just talk, please?

Fine, fine,
but if you ask me, man

I think you need
to dump that ball and chain.

Hey, Lisa.

Look at how cute.
You are a lucky man.

- Hey, baby.
- What's up, baby?

So, what's goin' on tonight?

Uh, you know,
I-I've been thinkin'

you-you really been
neglecting your friends.

Did you make plans
with your friends tonight?

I can cancel them, baby.

Will, you don't have to do that.

I don't care if you wanna go out
with your friends, just tell me.

Maybe I'll have my girlfriends
over, we'll pop popcorn

and dance to Janet
in our nighties.

How come we don't never do that
in our nighties?

Will, I'm serious.

Our relationship
is based on trust.

I want you to have
your own life.

Yeah, you're right,
you're right.

[chuckles]
I be tripping, I'm stupid.

So, what are you guys gonna do?

Uh, we, uh, uh..

Basketball, yeah, we..

Yeah, we're-we're
goin'-goin'
to a basketball game.

It's the Clippers, the Clippers,
they, uh, they clippin'

and, uh..

Yeah, they playin' against
the, uh..

The, uh, uh, the-the Twins.

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, Ricky, Lisy let you
out?

Me? Last I heard, Jewel was
patting you on your head

and tossing you a treat.

I'm here, ain't I?

It's all about
lettin' her know who wears

the protective cup
in the family.

[beeping]

Oh! You never saw me.

- Hi, Will.
- Hey.

Wait, you look familiar.

Do you have, like,
a really fat twin sister?

Will, it's me, Tina.

Ten Tummy Tina?

Girl, you must have lost
twenty..

...eighty pounds.

- You look nice.
- Thanks.

You should get to know
the new me.

I really firmed up.

I know the feeling.

Hey, look, Tina, baby, trust me

i-i-if this was two months ago,
I would be down.

Well, but then, two months ago,
you were still up.

Uh, listen, Tina, I have
a girlfriend and, you know

just, I ain't tryin'
to live like this.

- So?
- Uh, Tina, uh, Tina.

Oh, ooh, look,
make-your-own sundae.

Ooh!

Aw, dang.

Okay, listen.

We're just gonna hang out
for a minute, dance

and then we're heading back
to your place, alright?

Yeah, right,
this is a party, Lisa.

You've been tied down
to one man too long

and you forgot how to work it,
now, come on.

Guess you gotta
serve yourself around here.

I know that hand.

Um...see, what had happened
at first was..

See, at first,
I was at the game

but then a sniper came.

And, um, the coach had got shot.

I know someone
who should be shot.

- Will, you lied to me.
- Wait, now-now, wait a minute.

Wait a minute, Lisa.

Now, come on, now,
if this was two months ago

by now I'd have been up
in this party in my drawers

doing the "Tootsie Roll."

But I'm not having
any fun right now.

And you know why?

Because I feel guilty.

That's right,
I'm at Hoochie Phi Hoochie

and I ain't having no fun.

Now, that's progress.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait,
wait, wait, whoa, whoa.

What about you,
Miss Nightie-Wearing

Popcorn-Poppin',
Dancing-To-Janet

Well-At-Least-That's-What-
I'm-Going

Tell-my-Boyfriend,
Little-Party-Freak?

Will, I wanted to stay home,
but my girls wanted to come out.

This ain't no trial, you don't
have to explain nothin' to him.

Hush, puppy.

Guess who.

Look, honey,
I don't know who you are

but if you don't
take your hands off my man

you're gonna lose all that
pretty hair of yours.

Sheesh.

Look, uh, Lisa, sweetheart

why don't we take this
discussion elsewhere?

This is not a discussion,
Will, it is a fight.

And my jacket is in there.

It better be.

Come on, open the door,
my girl's jacket is in there.

Yo, Will, what's wrong, man?

[sobbing]

(male #1)
'Don't.'

Baby, no!

[instrumental music]

I ain't playing with you,
come on.

Will, you have no right to drag
me home, I am not a child.

Oh, you're just
a grown woman now, huh?

Listen, Will, I didn't do
what you think I did.

Look, I don't even
wanna think about

what you think I think you did.

Oh, you know what

you're a regular
old party girl now, Lisa

why don't you
break it down for her?

Oh-oh, okay, well,
let's see here, Ashley.

Usually, at these parties
there's a bunch of pathetic guys

who have a good thing goin' on

but they think
they're missing something.

So they go out scamming,
looking for someone new.

Think I can take it from here,
Lis. Thanks for the ride home.

Fine, Will, you do
what you gotta do

and you take your time but we're
gonna handle our business.

Hey, don't everybody
be walkin' away from me!

Ashley!

Listen, I am not playing
with you, girl.

Now what is your problem?

It is none of your business,
Will.

Oh, I found my 15-year-old
cousin locked in a bedroom

with a linebacker and that
ain't none of my business?

Hey, man.

Um, we was talking about
this movie we had seen.

Um, the movie we just
came from, um

uh, it was about a linebacker
and a fraternity.

You know, and Larry Fishburne
played the dean.

Shut up, Will.

Is that the family room?

Alright, young lady,
out with it.

Okay, I didn't go ice skating.

I went to a party.

And, yes, I-I was with a guy,
but we were just kissing.

You have no business
with a college fullback.

He was a linebacker, Uncle Phil.

Daddy, it-it wasn't just
anybody.

He used to go to Bel-Air Academy
and I had a big crush--

Eh, save it.

There are not enough words
in the English language

to explain your behavior.

My God, do you have any idea
the kind of danger

you put yourself in the night?

Well, all my friends were--

If all your friends jumped
off the damn MTV building

would you do it?

Do you have any idea where your
daughter was tonight, Vivian?

Hmm, at a fraternity house
playing touch football

in the bedroom.

Ashley.

Mom, do you remember
Andre Lawrence?

- The fullback?
- Um, he was..

- Ashley, go to your room.
- Mom, please let me--

You heard
what your father said.

- But, mom.
- Go!

[instrumental music]

- You alright?
- I'm fine.

I was just trying to recall
what it felt like to be 15.

So long ago,
how could you remember?

I-I'm-I'm just so upset that I'm
saying things I don't even mean.

I'm gonna go
have a talk with Ashley.

You know, sir, if you really
wanted to teach Ms. Ashley

a lesson, you could always have
her taken out of the portrait.

Ms. Ashley and I
are about the same height

it would be a simple matter
of painting my head on her body.

- Philip, Ashley's gone.
- What?

Take the back streets,
I don't wanna be seen.

Shut up and look for Ashley.

- Hello.
- Hey.

Lisa, what's up? It's me.

Will, it is 1:00 in the morning.

Yeah, yeah, I just called you
two minutes ago.

Where were you?

- I was asleep.
- Uh-huh.

Sure you ain't just gettin' in?

Just as sure as I'm about
to hang up on you.

How you gonna call me at 1:00

in the morning
then ask me where I been?

Alright, alright, alright,
my fault, my fault.

Look, Ashley ran away
and I just thought

she might be there with you.

No, you didn't.

Keep me posted.

Alright.

When we find Ashley,
she's reimbursing me for
gas.

Where is she?

Well, if it was me
and I ran away from home

I'd probably check into the
Four Seasons and get a massage.

Well, I'm telling you, y'all
should have seen Uncle Phil.

Dude just went straightloco.

That big vein in his neck
looked like a anaconda.

Look, there's a method
to my father's madness.

If he came down hard on Ashley,
it was for her own good.

Man, you think everything
your father does is right.

Of course, don't you?

Hell, no.

Carlton, Will's right.
Daddy is way too strict.

Well, he may be strict,
but he's always fair.

Yeah, when you're a son.

Well, sons are different
than daughters.

In your case, just barely.

If you're referring
to the size of my endowment

it's almost as large
as Hilary's.

God, I hope
you talkin' about money.

[instrumental music]

Y-y-yes, thank you.
I'll tell him.

Sir, the precinct says
they'll keep looking.

I can't believe she's out there
somewhere, Vivian.

Our little girl.

Sorry, guys,
we couldn't find her.

[sighs]

- Will, this is all your fault.
- My fault?

Where else did Ashley
learn such behavior?

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
wait a minute, man.

You're the one that
chased Ashley out of here.

How dare you talk
to me like that?

He dares because he
doesn't respect you.

Neither of them do.

What a crock.

How you go and just tell
a bold-faced lie like..

(Hilary on recorder)
'Carlton, Will is right.
Daddy is way too strict.'

(Will on recorder)
'Yeah, right, you think
everything'

'your father does is right.'

(Carlton on recorder)
'Of course, don't you?'

(Will on recorder)
'Hell, no.'

And listen to this
from last week.

Hey, man, what is wrong
with you?

[instrumental music]

Hey, what up, Ash?

Hi, Will.

[laughs]

You mean to tell me we've been
out runnin' all over this city

lookin' for you
and you've been up in here?

Well, I did run away.

But there are some
weirdoes out there.

You know something,
this is all your fault.

What is that, like,
the theme of this family?

"When in doubt, blame Will."

If it wasn't for you,
daddy would never

have found out about that party.

Well, Ashley,
that still doesn't mean

that you should have been there.

Ashley, listen

college boys are like predators.

You know, they prey on innocent

little high school girls
like you.

They're like piranha, Ashley.

And you're 110 pounds
of teenage chum.

A hundred and eight.

And I'm not as innocent
as I look.

Alright, I am.

Well, you ready to walk
that last mile?

Will, I didn't do anything.

The Lord is my shepherd.

Hey, everybody,
look what I found.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm-I'm alright.

Now, we've got a bit
of a volatile situation
here.

A powder keg if you will.

A mishandling of this situation

could have repercussions
that will reverberate
forever.

Vivian...call your sister
and tell her

she's about to lose
her only child.

I'm gonna call her
and tell her myself.

Look..

...now, I could
ground you forever.

I could put bars on your windows

I could put locks on your doors.

- Daddy.
- Don't daddy me.

Do you have any idea what
you
put this family through?

Running around doing God
knows
what with God knows who.

If I would have asked you,
you wouldn't have let me go.

You're darn right.
You're 15 years old.

You have no business at a party
with college boys!

- All my friends were there.
- Your friends don't live here!

I can't do this.

You talk to your daughter,
I'm done.

You guys hate me.

Ashley, if that were true,
we wouldn't care when you did

something foolish like this.

What you have to understand..

...is that we know
what's best for you.

It may not seem like that
now

but one day
you'll understand that.

End of discussion.

- Mom, don't you understand?
- Yes, I understand.

I understand you lied
and you ran away.

And another thing.

As long as you
live in this house

you will follow our rules.

That's it!

Mom.

[bangs]

Ashley, I understand
what you're feeling.

But you have to consider the
seriousness of what you did.

You really hurt us this evening.

All I want
is for you to trust me.

Trust is a very fragile
thing.

And you're gonna have to
start earning it all back.

I messed up really bad.

We'll talk about it
tomorrow.

Ashley.

Mama, I'm sorry.

[instrumental music]

I saw Ashley's tutor leaving.

Oh, yeah, they're actually
gonna let Ashley eat tomorrow.

Yeah, that's what happens
when you lie.

You gotta be punished.

So, what do you think
your punishment should be?

Oh, I don't know.

I think it should hurt.

I think it should
really teach me a lesson.

And I should be wearing
some kind of hat.

You are sick.

Okay, no hat.

I think people lie
because the truth hurts.

Yeah.

Like, take this jacket
you're wearing.

What about this jacket?

I love it.

[instrumental music]

[theme music]

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪