The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (1990–1996): Season 5, Episode 12 - Same Game, Next Season - full transcript

Daddy, how can you even think
about retiring early?

I'm in middle of a holiday shopping season.
Are you mad?

I simply said I was considering it.

I hope you do retire, that way
you can spend more time around the house.

He's here plenty.

You can't do this, big guy.
Money, we need money.

Carlton, you know we can afford this.
You're the one who helped me invest.

My money makes money. We're rich.

- That's right, we are rich.
- Never thought about it like that.

CARLTON:
Cool.

If we're so rich...



...why we can't afford no ceiling?

WILL:
Look, there's no problem here. Hey.

- Hi, Mr. Banks.
PHIL: Hi, kids.

Stop worrying, go to work,
I will handle your father.

Will, you don't know my father.
He's very overprotective.

Last time one of my boyfriends
spent an evening with him...

...it ended our relationship.

So, what?
You never saw the guy again?

No, no one did. He left town.

At least that's what my dad
told the police.

I think you're exaggerating a little bit.

Okay, maybe a little.

But, just in case...

...it's been really nice knowing you.



Go on, girl, get out of here. Hiyah!

- Bye, Mr. Banks.
- Goodbye, sweetheart.

So you're gonna meet Lisa's father
tonight, huh?

Yeah, he's in at 4:30 from Cleveland.

I remember the first time
I met Vivian's father.

He was an obstinate, dictatorial
old tightwad. We didn't get along at all.

Really? Even with all that in common?

I'm serious, Will.

Wasn't till the day he died that
he did something to improve the situation.

- Really? What did he do?
- He died.

But the point is,
first impressions can last forever.

So you be careful tonight.

No, don't worry about me,
I'm gonna just be myself.

Let the charm take care of it for me.

Will, I don't think
that's such a good idea.

You see, your charm
is kind of an acquired taste. Like liver.

- What you talking about? You hate liver.
- Exactly.

So, what?
What, are you saying I shouldn't be myself?

Oh, let me just leave you alone
with your thoughts, huh?

CARLTON:
Big guy, why aren't you at work?

Decided to take a few days off this week
to see what it would be like if I retired early.

ASHLEY: So that's still a possibility?
- A very strong one, honey.

Guys, we have to do something
about Dad.

Listen, I've tried, but he likes that shirt.

No, I mean we have to try to discourage
this whole early retirement thing.

I thought you were all for it.

I was, but I've been thinking,
if Dad has more time around the house...

...I'm the one
he's gonna be spending it with.

- Why you?
- I'm his favorite.

His favorite what?

His favorite child, his little girl.
I thought it was obvious.

Well, think again, little sister.
You are not Dad's favorite.

That's right, Ashley, I am.

You? Pfft!

Hey, it's a known fact
that the oldest is always the favorite.

- Mom and Dad got it right the first time.
- Then why did they keep trying?

Well, you're both wrong. It's me.

[ASHLEY & HILARY LAUGH]

Wait, wait, wait, you cost Dad money.
I make Dad money.

And Daddy's little girl doesn't mean beans
next to a chip off the old block...

...which is me.
- And Nicky.

Nicky's only been around a few years,
Daddy hardly knows him. It's me.

Well, there's a simple way to find out.

Dad's will.
Whoever gets the most wins.

That's ridiculous.
More money doesn't mean more love.

We're all his children, right?

Don't know,
I'm starting to think you were adopted.

Come on, let's find that will.

Hey, listen, Mr. Wilkes,
I want you to order anything that you want.

Price is no object.

Yeah, yeah,
I heard you the first six times.

Oh. You know,
they're known for their lemon soup.

Sir, that's a finger bowl.

Oh, my fault, my fault.

Excellent.

You know, Will,
I don't know about this place.

See, I'm more of a pizza guy.

Oh, well, they got pizza.

What do you want on it?

What, a tandoori duck? Grilled pheasant?

For 24 bucks,
I want a 20-dollar bill on it.

[LAUGHING]

He said...

That is so...

It was fu...

So Lisa says
you're an automotive technician.

No, I'm not. I fix cars.

I manage a garage.

A garage. Wow, that is so interesting.

No, it's not. It's a job.
Hey, but I like working with my hands.

It gives me the feeling
I'm earning my money...

...instead of having it just handed to me.

[CHUCKLES]

I know the feeling.

[FEIGNS LAUGH]

No, you don't.

Look, Will, Lisa may like you...

...but personally,
I think you're a bourgie little toad.

Thank you for a wonderful evening.

I'll catch a bus back to Lisa's house.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Mr. Wilkes, come on, don't leave.

This is... This is not the real me.

This is Carlton.

Why you putting on airs, boy?

Look, please?

Mr. Wilkes, I like your daughter
more than any other girl...

...that I've ever been with in my life.

And believe me, I've been with...

Out of girlfriend for a long time.

Listen, I just wanted to make
a good impression on you.

Well, look, as long as we're being honest
with each other...

...I wasn't gonna like you
no matter how you acted.

Oh, why not?

Well, ever since the good Lord
took my Yvonne...

...my life's been pretty empty, Will,
except for Lisa.

I'm a little overprotective.

Really?

Look, Mr. Wilkes, I mean,
the real Will Smith ain't bourgie.

I'm telling you, he's a low-class
working stiff like yourself.

Even lower.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Hoo!

Hey, I tell you what, Will.

Why don't we get out of this joint
and introduce me to the real Will Smith?

Yes, sir, sounds good to me.

Say, baby, you seen the real Will Smith?

[LAUGHING]

HILARY:
Where did you learn to do this?

The Young Republicans
sponsored a seminar.

Open sesame.

HILARY:
Oh, my God, it's full of gold bars.

Those are Twinkies.

- Hello, legal docs.
- Oh, yes.

Well, I see someone's
coming into money.

Geoffrey,
we weren't taking any money.

I meant me.

All right, Geoffrey,
what's it gonna cost to keep you quiet?

Considering the magnitude
of this betrayal of your father's trust...

...I'd say a thousand dollars.

Well, that's cool, we can handle that.
No problem.

A week.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to wash some dirty laundry.

He has no scruples.

Shut up and close the safe.

WILL:
Oh, baby.

- Hey, baby.
- Hey.

- How was the game?
- Oh, girl, it was the bomb.

Check out this here fly jacket
your daddy got me.

LISA:
How come?

My little way of saying thanks
for such a wonderful visit.

I got one for you too, baby.

Oh, just what I wanted.

Hey, I better go check on my flight time.

WILL:
Ah!

No.

Not that I mind, but what was that for?

Hm. Because you've been so nice to my dad.

You spent more time with him
than I have.

Oh, well, trust me, I am exhausted.

Hey, let me tell you.

Your father followed me on my jog today,
then he showed up in my lit class.

Last thing I ever wanna do again is see
a naked middle-aged man in the shower.

I'll tell you that now.

Let me tell you.

Your dad is a great guy,
but I'm kind of happy he's leaving.

Tell me about it.
I love when he comes to visit...

...but we haven't spent any time alone
in a whole week.

Well, I think I can remedy that situation.

There's a 747
with his name written all over it.

Soon as we get him to the airport...

...we can get back to my crib
for a little one-on-one.

You know what I mean?
You know what I'm saying?

Well, my flight's on time.

- It was nice to meet you.
- You too.

- Take care of my little girl.
- You got that.

- It was so good to see you again.
- Yeah.

Yeah, you know what?
It's too bad that you gotta leave so soon.

- You mean that, Will?
- Oh, yeah, man, we had a ball.

I mean,
it's just a shame you can't stay longer.

Well, if that's the way you feel, okay.

Okay what?

I'll stay.

Stay where?

I'll stay with you for another week,
maybe two.

Man, the way things are going,
I might stay forever.

[LAUGHING]

Daddy, you cannot be serious
about moving out here.

I'm saying, won't you miss Cleveland?

You've never been there, have you?

Besides,
this city makes me feel alive, man.

And my little girl is here, and you, Will.

Man, you're like the son I never had.

Uh, Daddy, remember Craig?

Craig's too busy with his marriage
and two kids.

He has no time for his old man.

What do you say we celebrate
with a nice dinner tonight, huh? My treat.

Well, I kind of have plans for tonight.

Oh, what about you, Will?

- Oh, I'd love to, you know...
- Then great, pick me up at 7.

I'm gonna go home, take a nice nap, so
I'll be rested up for my big night with Will.

WILL:
Hey.

I'll see you later, kids.

WILL:
Whoo.

Your brother's not busy, he's hiding.

Will, this is your fault.

You are just too damn lovable.

Oh, well, there's a character flaw.

You're gonna have to do something,
otherwise...

...we're gonna end up spending the rest
of our lives playing one-on-one-on-one.

Maybe Daddy's password
is some kind of food.

Look, I tried every dish
in Geoffrey's cookbook, nothing works.

Unbelievable.

What kind of idiot picks a password
no one can guess?

See, it's that kind of question
that knocks you out of the running...

...for Dad's favorite.
Just keep a lookout.

I told you this whole idea was stupid.

Can you put disk back in the safe
before Dad catches us?

Too late.

Hilary, do you even know
what the word "lookout" means?

Daddy, I am so sorry.

Let's just settle this right now.

Look, big guy...

Sir...

...we just wanted to see
what was in your will.

I knew it.

Never should've let you play
with those Menendez boys.

Daddy, we just wanted to know
who your favorite child was.

I can't believe you would even ask.

See, it is me.

Right now, it's hard to love any one of you,
but I do.

Ashley, I love your sensitivity,
your warmth.

Carlton, I love your ambition
and your persistence.

Hilary.

- Hilary.
- Yes, Daddy?

- Nice earrings.
- Oh, Daddy.

I love Nicky's innocence
and his enthusiasm.

I love you all differently, but equally.

Do you understand?

Daddy, that was beautiful.

- I love you.
- I love you.

Okay, they're gone now.

[69 BOYZ'S "TOOTSEE ROLL"
PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]

69 BOYZ [RAPPING]:
Tootsee Roll, Tootsee Roll

WILL:
Whoo! Whoo, whoo, whoo!

Hey, what's up, brother?
How are you doing, man?

Good to see you, boy.

FRED:
Will.

WILL: Hey, hey, hey.
- Will, I'm a little uncomfortable in here.

What would my pastor say
if he saw me in this place?

Probably say,
"Hey, Fred, you got change for a 20?"

[WILL LAUGHS]

WOMAN: Welcome to Caufield's,
gentlemen, follow me.

I got a little somethin'- somethin'
for you, girl. Ooh! Whoo.

Pick your tongue up, Fred,
the floor's dirty. Ha, ha.

Ooh-ooh! Ooh-ooh!

Will, how often do you come here?

Oh, hardly ever. Two, three times a day.

I don't know what to say.

No, don't say nothing, lay back,
cool out, get your groove on.

You know what I'm saying? Ooh-ooh!

Whoo!

[UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING
ON SPEAKERS]

Hey, shake it, but don't break it. Ooh-ooh!

Ooh-ooh!

Excuse me, Reverend Fred, it's nice
to see you coming out of your shell.

Will, I was wrong, man,
this is just good clean fun.

These girls are trying
to earn a dollar like me...

...except I work with my hands
and they work with everything else.

Well, come up on the stage, man.

Ooh-ooh!

[JANET JACKSON'S "NASTY"
PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]

JANET [SINGING]:
Nasty, nasty boys

Don't ever change

Oh, Lisa, Lisa, baby.

Girl, it is so good
to finally see you without...

Will! Hey, Willie.

[FRED CHUCKLING]

Tonight's the big game, man.
Browns versus Philly. Heh, heh.

Daddy, tonight Will is taking me out.

Oh, okay.

Hold up a second there, Fred.

Lisa, I'm breaking our date tonight.

Excuse me?

Did it ever occur to you
I might wanna see this game...

...more than I wanna see you?

Will, I was looking forward
to our date tonight.

Look, look, here, woman, okay?

I'm the man, and as the man,
I said I'm gonna see the game.

How dare you disrespect me like this
in front of my father.

Wait a minute, now,
this is between you kids.

That's right, Lisa.

Whether you like it or not, I'm going.

You know what?
Blow our date off tonight...

...you can just forget about us.
- Ooh, ooh.

- Well, maybe I just will forget then.
FRED: Hey.

Now, wait a minute.
I can't believe what I'm hearing here.

- Maybe you need to do something about it.
- You're damn right I do.

Shame on you.

Don't you see how important
this game is to Will and I?

How can you be so unreasonable?
Thought I raised you better than that.

- Whoa, Fred, Fred.
- You really disappoint me, young lady.

You really disappoint me.

See you later, buddy.

You know what?

That's it, I can't take this no longer.

- I gotta do it tonight.
- Do what?

I gotta break up with your father.

- Good, game hasn't started.
- All right.

Hey, Uncle Phil,
why don't you grab us a little grub?

- See you in a second.
- Okay.

WILL:
All right.

- Hey.
- Hey, Will.

Man, I was starting to get worried.

- What's wrong?
- Oh, nothing, nothing, everything's fine.

No, it's not.

I can see it in your eyes.

There's something you're not telling me.

You're right, Fred.
Look, I can't go on pretending anymore.

This just isn't working out.

What do you mean?

You, me, us, this whole thing.
It was great in the beginning...

...but I just think we need
to stop seeing so much of each other.

Will, is it something I did?

- Will, I can change.
- No, no.

No, it's not you, Fred. It's me. It's me.

I haven't been straight up with you,
you know?

There's someone else.

Oh, who is he?

He's right over there.

He taught me everything
I know about sports.

- He's generous. He's caring.
- Yeah, yeah, I'm sure he's a great guy.

I guess I should be grateful for
you at least being honest with me.

- Maybe I should give you this back.
- No, no, I want you to keep it.

To remember the game.

I will, Fred.

Well, it's been fun.

Oh, yeah, yeah, it's definitely been fun.

Hey, you be well.

You too, Will.

Can I call you?

I don't think
that would be such a good idea.

Well, at least, not right at first.

You're a very lucky man.

[BOTH SIGH]

I talked to my dad today.
No, he's staying in Cleveland, don't worry.

He's been spending a lot of time
with my brother.

Oh, God, didn't take him too long
to forget about me, huh?

He did not forget about you.

As a matter of fact,
he wanted me to give you a message.

But I'm not sure I understand it.

- Well, what is it?
- Same game, next season.

Heh, heh. Oh, yeah, tell him it's on.

Oh, look.

There's a shooting star.

Make a wish.

No, don't need to.

You already came true.