The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (1990–1996): Season 1, Episode 18 - The Young and the Restless - full transcript

[rock music on stereo]

Yo, I'm telling you, Ash.

It's perfect thing
for granny's visit.

Look, we enter here,
pass the llamas and giraffes

take a look at the
monkey house

and then end with a ride
on the Ferris wheel.

Will, for the last time

we are not breaking into
Michael Jackson's house.

[music stops]

Yo man, what's up?

We're going to pick grandma
up at the airport in a minute.



I don't think she'll wanna
hear that garbage

when she gets here.

Carlton, the reason
you don't like the music

is because you can't dance.

Oh, really?

[music continues]

In your face.

[theme song]

♪ Now this is a story all about
how my life got flipped ♪

♪ Turned upside-down
and I'd like to take a minute ♪

♪ Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became ♪

♪ The prince
of a town called Bel-Air ♪

♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪

♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪



♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxing all cool ♪

♪ And all shootin' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪

♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared and said ♪

♪ You're moving with your auntie
and uncle in Bel-Air ♪

♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪

♪ The license plate said Fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪

♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪

♪ But I thought nah forget it
yo homes to Bel-Air ♪

♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

♪ And I yelled to the cabby
yo homes smell you later ♪

♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪♪

So I did get an A
in my English mid term

and the A-minus
was in math.

What a crazy week that was.

So, anyway, that takes us
up to the spring quarter.

- Mm-mm.
- That's when I--

Worked hard, got good grades

made the honor roll, the end.

- Hey, granny!
- Oh, sugar.

Oh, Will, as handsome as ever.

Oh, grandma,
as generous as ever.

Granny, did you notice
how Carlton's grown?

He's almost into
adult sizes.

[laughs]

Well, congratulations, dear.

Hey, granny, I've been
looking through the guide books.

I found an attraction with your
name written all over it.

What's that, honey?

Raging waters.

Willie, are you insane?

It's a little late
to be asking.

Grandma's here
to rest and recuperate.

She's just gotten
over the flu.

- I told you it was a cold.
- What did the doctor say?

Us country folks don't go
running off to the doctor

at every sneeze, sniffle,
or broken bone.

We are not the
spendthrifts you are, Zeke.

Zeke. Ha-ha!
Man, that one always kills
me.

Hey, granny, I love
when you come to visit.

Uh, did you bring the
picture
of him and the goat?

Oh..

Never leave home without it.

[laughing]

Oh, yes, sir, I will be getting
a frame for this one.

Hattie.

Hello!

Ooh. Ha-ha!

Ooh, honey, you are
younger and prettier

every time I see you.

Will you look at you two?

You could enter
a beauty contest.

- Oh, grandma.
- Really?

I never gave it much thought.

Uh, just think, Hillary,
for the talent portion

you could twirl a checkbook.

Grandma, are we gonna do some
more crafts while you're
here?

Well, we sure are.

Geoffrey!

Yes, madam?

Ashley and I are gonna
be doing some art.

So we're gonna need
50 popsicle sticks

two bags of macaroni wheels

and lots and lots of
glitter.

I'm way ahead of you, madam.

In anticipation
of your visit

I've saved two dozen
egg cartons.

Oh, thank you, Geoffrey

but we won't be making
purses this time.

Speaking of art, I thought
we could go to the museum.

They have a display
on 100-year-old quilts.

Oh, honey. I got one of them
in the back of my truck.

I know what'd perfect
for grandma

a complete day of beauty

where the salon does your hair,
makeup, nails.

And you come out
looking fabulous.

Well, I don't think your
grandmother would be interested.

Well, then, can I do it?

I know we all have
plans for grandma

but let's let her
relax a little bit first.

- Oh, sweetie, I feel fine.
- Oh, maybe so, mama.

But while you're here,
I want you to take it easy.

You are not to lift a finger.

We're going to
treat you like a queen.

You said the magic word.

Excuse me.

Did I just win
the Kentucky Derby?

Mr. Banks instructed me to
keep you warm at all times.

Why don't you just
light me on fire?

I'm already hotter than a dog
in a wool wagon. Now get!

While the getting's good, madam.

Hey, granny,
what you doing?

Nothing much, I'm afraid.

Your uncle gave me this book
of find-the-word puzzles.

So I found all the words.
Now what do I do with them?

I mean, granny, you
shouldn't
just be sitting here.

I mean, you should do something
you like doing

like, I don't know

baking me a sweet potato
pie.

Baby, much as I'd like to, I..

...I think your uncle
wants me to stay put.

See, now that's your
first mistake.

See, he tells me
all kinds of stuff to do

and I never listen to him.

Ah, and I'm a better
person for it.

How come you're just sitting
around? Don't you have
plans?

- No, not really.
- You got to have a girl.

Oh, no kidding.

There's no one
that gets your sap rising?

[chuckles]
Well, there's this girl
named Tanya.

I met her at the mall.

She works in one of them
fancy men's store

where even underwear
comes from Europe.

Man, I just don't know
if she'd go out with anybody

in local drawers.

Sets to mind
a heifer we once had.

You ain't seen Tanya.

You listen up.

Now, Petunia had two bulls
liking her

one a big, strong Angus with
a chest as wide as a Chevy.

Oh, that one's me, right?

The other one was a slim,
handsome jersey

a real lady's bull.

Ah, word to granny.
That one's me, right?

Now, all season long,
Petunia just couldn't
decide.

So come fall,
she ups and picks the Angus.

See?

No.

Why, by then,
breeding season was over.

Maybe if you changed it
to cats or something?

Now, everybody be quiet.

Grandma's
probably sleeping.

She's gonna love my gift.

I didn't know
Leonard Nimoy even sang.

That was very thoughtful,
Carlton.

Thank you.

I smell something funny.

It smells like pine
or something.

I smell it, too. I thinks it's
coming from in the kitchen.

What is that smell?

Watch your step.

The floor is wet.

Mother, what are you doing?

I'm picking apples
from a cherry tree.

What does it look
like I'm doing?

I'm giving your floor
a good hand-scrubbing.

That's Geoffrey's job.

No, it ain't.

I have begun
the mulch pile, madam.

Fine, Geoffrey. I'll be out
to look at it directly

right after I flip
the mattresses.

Hold on, mama. Geoffrey?

Sorry, sir.

But she threatened me
with a whupping.

Well, Hattie, it seems like
you're back to your old self.

I have an idea
for this afternoon.

Now I know how proud
you are of your azalea bushes.

Why don't we go
to the botanical gardens

and see how theirs stack up.

- I'll get my sweater.
- Why?

Mom, are you cold?

Geoffrey, turn up the heat.

Sir, I already set
the thermostat on 80

as you requested.

The candles are
starting to melt.

I just wanted my sweater

'cause we're going
to the gardens.

We can go to the gardens
later this week.

I want you to
get settled in.

I'm more settled than a big ol'
box of raisin bran.

No, no. Mama,
don't excite yourself.

Is there anything
I can get for you?

- How about a magazine?
- Or a game.

Or some moisturizer.

I have an idea. Why don't we all
take a dip in the pool?

- Sounds good.
- Great.

That way we can all
get out of the house

and let mama take a nap.

But I want to swim, too.

You shouldn't swim when getting
over the flu, mama.

Now, we'll see you
after your nap.

Nap!

Why don't they
put me in a playpen?

Yo, DJ Granny.

- Hey, w-what's going on?
- Nothing.

And your uncle
aims to keep it that way.

Oh, I know he means well

but a body has to
feel useful.

Useful? Yo..

You know that girlie advice
you gave me?

- Worked like a charm.
- Really?

I don't remember it exactly

but I just walked
up to her and said

"Hey Tanya, bulls and cows
need to get together

before it starts snowing."

And she understood that?

Well, no,
but she likes my hair.

Hey, we're going out
on her first night off.

Oh, that's fine.

Of course, I don't have a date
for the concert tonight.

- Who's playing?
- Heavy D.

Oh, I love him.

You do?

Who doesn't like
Charlie Daniels?

Heh-heh. Uh, this is another
Heavy D, granny.

Here, maybe if I play this tape
for you. Check it out.

[rap music on stereo]

Not bad.

Can't understand
what he's saying

but it does
have a beat to it.

What kind of dance
you do to this?

Hey, trust me on this one,
granny. It's very
complicated.

It takes a lot of hard study
and dedication to learn.

Honey, I ain't got
that kind of time.

You're getting there.
You're getting there.

[laughing]

This kind of dancing
works up quite an appetite.

What say I make us
some flapjacks?

Oh, yes.
Granny, will you marry me?

Oh, sweet talker!

Ooh, this is the good part.

Yeah, I'll turn up the Victrola.

[laughs]
Yeah!

Whoo-hoo!

Go, granny. Go, granny.

What's going on in here?

Mama, are you alright?

Of course I am.
Take your hands off of me.

Will, why are you
playing that music?

Grandma's supposed
to be resting. You're grounded.

Grounded? A-all I did was play
some music loud.

Sounds like a no dessert
offense, isn't it?

You heard what I said.

Alright, Uncle Phil, look

I got back stage passes
to the Heavy D concert.

Now, you said yourself
how awful rap music is.

Let's say we make
that my punishment.

Please don't make me go.

Nice try, Will.

Oh, don't get so worked up,
Zeke.

I was just having fun.

Mama, a woman your age
should not be dancing
around.

Boy, don't you tell me
what to do.

Well, I'm sorry, mama. I was
just trying to look out for you.

Will, no more
horsing around.

"Will, no more
horsing around."

That boy is about as much fun
as day-old oatmeal.

I noticed that.

Granny, since we're
both kinda grounded

hey, want to go upstairs,
slam our bedroom doors

and throw things?

A woman my age
shouldn't be dancing.

We'll see about that.

- Spoiling my fun.
- Yours?

I can't believe I'm not
going to that concert.

You are going
to that concert.

- I am?
- That's right.

With me.

But Uncle Phil won't let us.

But Uncle Phil won't see us.

Oooh...sneaking out? You?

Honey, you are
looking at a woman

who has snuck out
to more barn dances

hayrides,
and midnight skinny dips

than a chicken has pecks.

Yo, well, yee-hah!

Alright!

Ah, Hattie, looks like you've
got your plans for the evening.

Oh, yeah.
Got a couple of extra pillows.

I like to turn in early
at my age.

Oh, would you like
some hot chocolate?

Oh, Lord, no!
Don't need the stimulation.

- Well, goodnight.
- Goodnight, honey.

Phew. That was close.

But I was cool.

Good work, 0070.

Now here's the plan.
The concert starts at 8:00.

My friend Jazz will meet us
at the corner at 7:00.

He'll flash
his lights twice

then he'll drive us
to the Bel-Air border.

There, we'll meet with a guy
known only as the Captain.

He'll drive us the rest of
the way. No questions asked.

What's the code words?

Here's 10 bucks.

- Gotcha.
- But..

You're going to be
ready to go?

Oh, honey, no problem.

Good. You'll blend in.

Now, I brought these pillows
to put them in our bed

so they think
we're sleeping.

Granny, granny, granny

nice try, but today it's all
done electronically. Check it.

[snoring]

[coughing]

That's lovely, dear.

Ain't my brother. For the last
time she is not Queen Latifa.

Oh. Yeah, finally we're
here.
Hey, you know what?

For a minute I thought Uncle
Phil saw us out that window.

What a hideous
expression on his face.

Word. Hey, thank God he just had
a mouthful of gummy bears.

[laughing]

Hey, y-you want to sit down
for a minute?

Now, don't you start treating me
like an old person.

- What do we do first?
- Alright, well..

First we buy some t-shirts,
then we get something to
eat.

Good idea. I think we could
both use some chili dogs.

With lots of cheese.
Listen, I'm paying.

Granny, that marriage proposal
still stands.

Oh..

(Philip)
'What do you mean your
grandmother wasn't in her room?'

(Ashley)
'Well, I went to tell
her goodnight.'

'There were just pillows
underneath her covers.'

(Vivian)
'Where on earth would she get
an idea like that?'

Will!

[snoring]

How could he
still be sleeping?

Mm-hmm.

Look at this,
I can't believe how low

Will will stoop to deceive you.

I mean, with this tape,
who knows how many times

he could sneak out of the house
for a whole night

completely unnoticed.

Mom, do you think Will
and grandma are alright?

Oh, I'm sure they are, sweetie.

Okay, I'm going to bed.

I don't understand. Where would
they be at this hour?

The Heavy D concert.

I, uh, accidentally overheard
Will on the phone

when I was trying to
clean my receiver.

Hm, Will probably dragged

my mother with him.
I'm going down there.

I'm going with you, dad.
It's a rap concert.

You want to be with someone
who knows how to be hip.

Hmm. $10 for a t-shirt.
That boy must be crazy.

Still ain't sure how
you managed to get it

for $1.25 and a picture
of grandpa?

I've been thinking.
Maybe we should call home.

I know how it is.
I've been a parent.

Well, I've been a kid,
and the answer is

"Eeehhh! Bad choice, Joyce."

I mean, they'd kill us.

Twice over.

I'm sorry to bother you..

...Miss Fitzgerald?

I'm a big fan of yours.

I was wondering if you'd
have
your picture taken with me.

Come on, man, she's not..

Ever too busy for a fan.

♪ Shooby-dooby-do
boopy-do-boop ♪

♪ Shooby-dooby-do
boopy-do-ba-doop ♪♪

Well, they had
backstage passes.

So, it shouldn't be too
hard to find them.

Let's hurry up.
This is weird.

I mean, can you believe
how these kids dress?

It's beginning
to get to me.

Uh, excuse me a moment.
I just..

Could I see
your backstage pass, please?

I don't have one. I'm here
looking for my mother.

Mm-hmm. And your sister knows
a member of the band, right?

Huh. You groupies
are all alike. Heh!

I am not a groupie.

Call it what you like,
but take it from me, buddy.

Heavy D does not want
to hear you rap.

Hey. Uh, hey, where do you think
you're going?

Pardon me, have you seen a young
kid in wild, colorful clothing

with an earring in his ear and
the sides of his head shaved?

Nope. Heh!

You better get to your seat.
The concert's about to
start.

I'm not here to see
some stupid concert.

Never mind.
I'll find him myself.

He couldn't have
gotten too far.

[audience cheering]

(male announcer)
'Everybody
put your hands together'

'for Heavy D!'

(audience)
Boo! Boo! Boo!

When the crowd saw he wasn't
Heavy D, they was upset.

You know, seriously, Uncle Phil

I think you had the shortest rap
career in history.

But I do feel bad.

All the trouble we caused you.

Yeah, yeah, you're right.
Me, too.

- Oh, well.
- Oh, well.

[laughing]

Oh, you all should've
seen granny. She was great.

She climbed down from
the second story window, right

then she ran to Jazz's car

then she helped push it up
the hill when it stalled.

You know, Philip,
I think you're right.

I don't think Hattie up to

seeing those azaleas tomorrow.

Why, I sure am,
and after that

Hilary, you and I
are gonna get those facials.

Oh, grandma,
you haven't lived

until you've had
a mud mask.

What people don't pay for
in Beverly Hills.

- Goodnight, grandma.
- Goodnight.

And then, Ashley, baby

you and I
are going to make us

some macaroni rain hats.

- Great! Goodnight, grandma.
- Oh!

Goodnight, precious.

Well, grandma,
after all that activity

you're gonna need a rest.

That's when you can tell me

more about
your schoolwork, dear.

Excellent!

Goodnight, grandma.

Goodnight, baby.

Hey, you know, granny,
you was a great date tonight.

Well, you showed me
a great time.

And to thank you,
tomorrow I'm going to

bake you
a sweet potato pie.

Mm, I mean, look, alright,
granny, I don't think

you should be waking up
all early, you know.

- Oh..
- Let's get started on it now.

[laughing]

Will, I think
it's time for bed.

- Goodnight, granny.
- Goodnight, baby.

- Goodnight, mama.
- Goodnight, darling.

Oh, don't go giving me
that look, Zeke.

That's the same look you give me
at the county fair

when I wouldn't let you climb
up the greasy pole.

Now, you're not all that
mad with me, are you?

Well, mama, yes, I am.

I try to set some rules
down for Will

a-and you undermine
my authority.

I know how
to handle things.

- I am an adult.
- I am, too, Zeke.

- I know that.
- Do you?

How many adults do you
tell to take a nap?

Mama, I was just
worried about you.

But I'm fine, baby.

I know.

When you had the flu and I
talked to you on the phone

you sounded so small.

I just want you
to live a long time.

Then, Zeke..

...let me live.

[theme music]

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪♪