The Flying Nun (1967–1970): Season 1, Episode 25 - The Reconversion of Sister Shapiro - full transcript

[dog barking]

(Jacqueline) DESPITE HER OWN
REMARKABLE AERONAUTICAL ABILITIES,

SISTER BERTRILLE
SOMETIMES RESORTED

TO THE MORE ORTHODOX
FORMS OF TRANSPORTATION.

I SUPPOSE SHE WANTED TO
SEE HOW THE OTHER HALF FLEW.

SISTER BERTRILLE, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WELL, I JUST FLEW IN FROM
A SEMINAR IN NEW ORLEANS.

OH, YOU MEAN THE AIRPORT GAVE
YOU PERMISSION TO USE THEIR RUNWAY?

NO, I TOOK AN AIRPLANE.

OH, YOU TOOK A PLANE.

[tut-tutting]



WHAT A WASTE OF MONEY.

I'M NOT EQUIPPED
WITH IN-FLIGHT MOVIES.

OH.

I TAKE IT YOU'RE NOT MY
WELCOMING COMMITTEE.

OH, NO, NO. I DIDN'T
COME HERE TO MEET YOU.

I CAME TO MEET A GIRL.

OH, WELL, THANKS
FOR THE DISTINCTION.

(male announcer) FLIGHT NUMBER 6

FROM NEW YORK
NOW ARRIVING GATE 22.

THAT'S HER FLIGHT NOW.

IS SHE SOMEONE
SPECIAL? VERY SPECIAL.

OH, LET ME GUESS.

AN HEIRESS? NO.

SHOWGIRL? MMM-MMM.



MODEL? YOU ARE NOT EVEN WARM.

YOU'RE SLIPPIN', SISTER.

CARLOS, IF IT'S NOT AN HEIRESS,

A SHOWGIRL OR A MODEL,

YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S SLIPPING.

OH, LINDA!

LINDA!

[panting] SISTER BERTRILLE,

OH, I'M SORRY I COULDN'T
GET HERE ANY SOONER.

SO AM I. YOU JUST
MISSED A MIRACLE.

HMM?

(male announcer) FLIGHT NUMBER
50 FOR MIAMI NOW BOARDING.

I WANT YOU TO MEET
SOME FRIENDS OF MINE.

SISTER JACQUELINE,
SISTER BERTRILLE.

THIS IS MY ADOPTED
NIECE, LINDA SHAPIRO.

SHE MADE ME HER UNCLE.

HELLO, LINDA.

HI, LINDA. HOW ARE YOU?

HI. HI.

SHOULD I CURTSEY?

OH, NO. THE SISTERS
ARE VERY DEMOCRATIC.

LINDA'S PARENTS HAD
PLANNED A VACATION HERE,

BUT THEY HAD TO GO TO
CHICAGO UNEXPECTEDLY.

SO THEY SENT LINDA
AHEAD INTO MY CARE.

I HOPE I'M NOT GOING TO BE
ANY TROUBLE, UNCLE CARLOS.

YOU, TROUBLE?

OH, COME ON, NEVER.

(male announcer) TELEPHONE
CALL FOR MR. CARLOS RAMIREZ.

GREEN COURTESY
TELEPHONE, MR. RAMIREZ.

ALWAYS THE TELEPHONE.

SOMETIMES I WISH ALEXANDER
GRAHAM BELL HAD NEVER INVENTED IT.

(male announcer) LAST
CALL FOR FLIGHT NUMBER 7.

HELLO.

YEAH, THIS IS CARLOS RAMIREZ.

YES, PEDRO, WHAT IS IT?

UH, LINDA, I HOPE YOU'LL COME
AND VISIT US AT THE CONVENT.

(Carlos) HOW CAN I GO
TO MIAMI FOR A MEETING?

YOU KNOW I HAVE A
GUEST TO ENTERTAIN HERE.

UH, TELL THEM TO POSTPONE IT.

WELL, SINCE THEY
CANNOT POSTPONE IT,

TELL THEM THAT I CANNOT MAKE IT.

MY PLACE IS HERE WITH LINDA.

OK, I WILL LOSE OUT ON A
ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME-DEAL.

NO, IT CANNOT BE HELPED.

NO, PEDRO. NO!
THERE'S NO WAY OUT.

CARLOS.

THERE IS A WAY OUT.

REVEREND MOTHER, I'D LIKE
YOU TO MEET LINDA SHAPIRO.

I'M VERY PLEASED
TO MEET YOU, LINDA.

LINDA'S FROM NEW YORK.

CARLOS IS HER ADOPTED UNCLE.

OH, HOW NICE THAT SHE COULD
COME ALL THIS WAY TO VISIT WITH HIM.

YES. CARLOS HAD TO
LEAVE FOR A BUSINESS TRIP

FOR A FEW DAYS.

THEN WHO IS LOOKING AFTER LINDA?

WELL, IT'S VERY SIMPLE,
REVEREND MOTHER.

YOU SEE, THIS WAS A
ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME DEAL

THAT CARLOS SIMPLY
COULDN'T PASS UP,

AND AFTER ALL THE WONDERFUL AND
UNSELFISH THINGS HE'S DONE FOR US...

I UNDERSTAND, SISTER BERTRILLE.

AND NOW I KNOW WHO
IS LOOKING AFTER LINDA.

I'M VERY GLAD TO
HAVE YOU WITH US.

THANK YOU.

LINDA, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO
OUTSIDE AND LOOK AROUND THE CONVENT

WHILE I SPEAK WITH
SISTER BERTRILLE?

SISTER BERTRILLE, I APPRECIATE
YOUR THOUGHTFULNESS

TO SENOR RAMIREZ, BUT...

DO YOU THINK THIS IS WISE?

WELL, AT FIRST LINDA
WAS A BIT SHOCKED

AT THE IDEA OF
SPENDING A VACATION

WITH A BUNCH OF NUNS

'CAUSE SHE'S OF A
DIFFERENT FAITH, YOU KNOW.

BUT I SUGGESTED THAT
SHE THINK OF HERSELF

AS AN EXCHANGE STUDENT.

BUT WHAT ABOUT HER
MOTHER AND FATHER?

MR. AND MRS. SHAPIRO.

D-DO THEY KNOW
THAT SHE IS WITH US?

NO, BUT THERE COULDN'T
BE ANY PROBLEM

ELSE CARLOS WOULDN'T
HAVE LET HER STAY.

OH, SISTER BERTRILLE,

WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO
LEARN TO LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP?

REVEREND MOTHER, I LOOK.

BUT YOU LEAP ANYWAY.

SHE'S MY RESPONSIBILITY.

NOW, DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING.

I'M WORRIED ABOUT
LINDA, SISTER JACQUELINE.

SHE DOESN'T SEEM
TO JOIN IN VERY EASILY.

(Jacqueline) WELL,
IT'S NO WONDER.

SHE'S SUPPOSED TO
BE ON HER VACATION

AND NOW SHE'S THROWN
INTO A STRANGE NEW WORLD.

[children chattering]

BUT NOBODY SAYS WE
CAN'T WIN HER OVER.

HI, THERE.

HI. HI.

HOW COME YOU'RE NOT
PLAYING WITH THE OTHER KIDS?

OH.

HEY, LOOK, THERE'S
NO REASON TO BE SHY.

I MEAN, MEETING PEOPLE'S
AS EASY AS JUMPING ROPE,

AND I NEVER KNEW A LITTLE GIRL

THAT DIDN'T KNOW
HOW TO JUMP ROPE.

COME ON, I'LL
INTRODUCE YOU. IT'S OK.

NOT YOUR CUP OF TEA, HUH?

WELL, IS THERE ANYTHING
ELSE YOU'D LIKE TO DO?

LIKE WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW.

YOU SEE, I'VE GOT
SOME DUTIES TO DO

AND I HATE TO LEAVE YOU JUST STANDING
HERE HOLDING DOWN THE CEMENT.

IT'S ALL RIGHT,
SISTER. I'M FINE.

REALLY.

ARE YOU SURE?

OK.

I'LL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT.

BUT REMEMBER NOW,
DON'T BE BASHFUL.

[children shouting]

HEY, I'VE GOT AN IDEA.

WHY DON'T YOU BE MY ASSISTANT?

ASSISTANT WHAT?

COME ON. I'LL SHOW YOU.

[clears throat]

(Jacqueline) SISTER BERTRILLE'S
CAMPAIGN TO WIN LINDA OVER

BEGAN WITH THE WORDS
OF THE OLD TESTAMENT:

LET THERE BE LIGHT.

[inaudible]

[inaudible]

[baby crying]

OH.

THANK YOU.

HI.

OH, THANK YOU.

SEE WHAT I GOT. ONE FOR YOU.

OH, LOOK AT THIS.

[chuckles]

THANK YOU.

GOSH!

YOU HAVE A LOT OF
FRIENDS, SISTER BERTRILLE.

YES, AND YOU MADE A LOT
OF FRIENDS TODAY, TOO, LINDA.

AND YOU WERE A BIG HELP TO ME.

REALLY?

OH, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

OH, YES. YOU DID.

YOU'RE THE BEST
ASSISTANT I EVER HAD.

I GUESS, IT HASN'T BEEN VERY MUCH
OF A VACATION FOR YOU THOUGH.

BUT WORKING'S SORT OF FUN.

I MEAN, I NEVER HELD
A REAL BABY BEFORE.

YEAH? JUST DOLLS.

THEY'RE DIFFERENT, YOU KNOW?

I KNOW.

BUT ALL WORK AND NO PLAY

MAKES US A COUPLE OF DULL GIRLS.

HEY, DO YOU LIKE CHINESE FOOD?

I LOVE IT.

OH, GREAT!

[gong clanging]

♪ [oriental music playing]

[people chattering]

THANK YOU.

[sighing]

WHY DO THEY GIVE US CHOPSTICKS?

♪ THERE'S NOTHING FINER
THAN CUISINE FROM CHINA ♪

♪ WE LOVE THOSE PLACES
WITH CHINESE FOOD ♪

♪ BUT WHEN WE GO THERE,
WE PUT ON A SHOW THERE ♪

♪ CHOPSTICKS JUST
GET US UNGLUED ♪

(all) ♪ WHY DO THEY
GIVE US CHOPSTICKS? ♪

♪ WHAT WE NEED IS
A KNIFE AND A FORK ♪

♪ WE CAN'T GET THE
HANG OF CHOPSTICKS ♪

♪ WHAT GOOD ARE UTENSILS ♪

♪ THAT LOOK LIKE 2 PENCILS ♪

♪ THE EGG ROLL STARTS ROLLING ♪

♪ AND THERE'S NO CONTROLLING ♪

(Bertrille) ♪ FRIED RICE THAT
SEEMS TO BE EVERY PLACE ♪

♪ WONTONS JUST WANDER ♪

♪ AND WIND UP DOWN YONDER ♪

♪ THE FOOD NEVER
REACHES OUR FACE ♪

(all) ♪ WHY DO THEY
GIVE US CHOPSTICKS? ♪

♪ WHAT WE NEED IS
A KNIFE AND A FORK ♪

♪ WE CAN'T GET THE
HANG OF CHOPSTICKS ♪

♪ OUR APPETITE'S GROWING,
OUR ENERGY'S GOING ♪

♪ AND AFTER SOME JABBING,
SOME SEARCHING AND STABBING ♪

♪ WE FINALLY HARPOON
A PIECE OF MEAT ♪

♪ THOUGH WE FEEL HOLLOW,
WE CAN'T SEEM TO SWALLOW ♪

♪ WE'RE MUCH TOO TIRED TO EAT ♪

[Bertrille sighing]

YOU KNOW, I COULD NEVER GET
THE HANG OF THOSE THINGS, EITHER.

DIG IN, KID.

[chuckling] OK.

HMM.

[whistling]

♪ [humming]

[birds chirping]

HELLO, MY DEAR. HI.

HI. HOW ARE YOU TWO DOING?

OH, GREAT. WE'RE GONNA
HAVE ENOUGH FLOWERS

TO DECORATE THE WHOLE
CHILDREN'S WARD AT THE HOSPITAL.

UH, WELL, LEAVE A LITTLE
TO DECORATE THE GARDEN.

OH, YEAH.

IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE
WINNING HER OVER.

OH, GOOD.

OH. LOOK, SISTERS!

[bird chirping]

IT'S FALLEN FROM ITS NEST.

[bird twittering]

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

WELL, WHY DON'T WE
PUT IT IN A SHOEBOX

UNTIL IT'S STRONG ENOUGH TO FLY?

IT BELONGS IN ITS
NEST WITH ITS MOTHER.

THERE HAS TO BE SOME
WAY TO GET IT BACK UP THERE.

OH, NO, I DON'T.

OH, IT'S JUST A LITTLE FLIGHT.

IT'LL HARDLY COUNT AT ALL.

AND BESIDES SHE
CAN'T TELL ANYONE.

SHE'S ONLY GOING TO BE
HERE FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.

YEAH, LONG ENOUGH
TO GET ME INTO TROUBLE.

OH.

LINDA, SEE I HAVE
A VERY SPECIAL WAY

FOR PUTTING LITTLE
BIRDS BACK IN THEIR NESTS.

BUT YOU MUST PROMISE
NOT TO TELL ANYONE.

I PROMISE.

OK.

[bird twittering]

COME HERE, LITTLE
BIRD, COME HERE.

[wind howling]

YOU CAN FLY!

HOW DO YOU DO IT?

WELL, IT ALL HAS
TO DO WITH AERO...

WELL, IT'S A LONG STORY, LINDA.

SISTER BERTRILLE, YOU'RE...

YOU'RE SOMETHING SPECIAL.

WELL, LET'S GO GET
US SOMETHING TO EAT

OR SOMETHING.

YOU WANTED TO SEE
ME, REVEREND MOTHER?

YES.

HELLO, SISTER. I'M BACK.

HI. HOW WAS YOUR MEETING?

OH, VERY SUCCESSFUL, THANK YOU.

UH, HOW'S LINDA?

FINE.

ARE YOU SURE? YEAH.

THERE WAS NO TROUBLE?

WELL, YOU HAVE TO EXCUSE ME

BUT WITH SISTER
BERTRILLE'S PAST HISTORY,

I... I WAS NATURALLY WORRIED.

NATURALLY.

NOW, WHERE IS LINDA?

OH, SHE'S IN HER ROOM
WORKING ON A SECRET PROJECT.

OH.

I HAVE ASKED SISTER ANA TO...

LINDA?

PLEASE CALL ME SISTER SHAPIRO.

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!

HOW COULD I HAVE KNOWN?

BELIEVE ME, CARLOS,

NO ONE WAS MORE
SURPRISED THAN I WAS.

HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN
PERSUADED TO ENTRUST

THAT IMPRESSIONABLE
CHILD TO YOU?

IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY, THERE
WAS THIS ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME DEAL.

LOOK AT THE MESS
YOU GOT ME INTO.

UNCLE CARLOS TO A MINI-NUN.

REVEREND MOTHER'S
EXPLAINING TO HER

AND SHE'S VERY GOOD AT THAT.

WELL, I HOPE SO.

FOR YOUR OWN SAKE.

[sighing]

SO, YOU SEE, LINDA,
YOU CANNOT BE A NUN

BECAUSE YOU'RE
JUST A LITTLE GIRL.

IT'S OK.

THIS WAY I'LL GET A HEAD START.

CHILD, IN ORDER TO BECOME A NUN,

ONE NEEDS TO LIVE
SUFFICIENT YEARS

IN ORDER TO GAIN
SOME COMPREHENSION

OF THE WORLDLY THINGS

THAT ONE THEN
RENOUNCES WILLINGLY.

I'LL GIVE UP COMIC BOOKS.

OH, BLESS YOU, CHILD. A
TRULY NOBLE THOUGHT.

BUT I'M AFRAID THAT
THAT'S NOT QUITE ENOUGH.

BUBBLE GUM?

LINDA, A NUN...

YOU WOULD HAVE TO
PREPARE MANY YEARS

TO DEVOTE YOUR LIFE TO
THE SERVICE OF OTHERS.

OH, I WANT TO. THE WAY
SISTER BERTRILLE DOES.

I WANNA BE JUST
LIKE SISTER BERTRILLE.

IS THERE ANYTHING
WRONG WITH THAT?

[sighing]

THE SHAPIROS ARE
VERY FINE PEOPLE.

THEY'VE NEVER BEEN
ANYTHING BUT KIND TO ME.

AM I SUPPOSED TO REPAY THEM

BY INFORMING THEM THAT
THEIR DAUGHTER IS A DROPOUT?

CARLOS, ABOUT YOUR
CHOICE OF WORDS...

SISTER, I HAVE NOT YET
BEGUN TO CHOOSE MY WORDS.

[door opening]

SENOR RAMIREZ, I TRIED.

NOW, WHY DON'T
YOU BE A NICE GIRL

AND CHANGE INTO
YOUR OWN CLOTHES?

I DON'T LIKE THEM ANYMORE.

THEN I'LL BUY YOU A
BEAUTIFUL NEW OUTFIT.

NO, THANKS, UNCLE CARLOS.

I'M GIVING UP WORLDLY THINGS.

[babbling in Spanish]

PLEASE!

NOT IN FRONT OF US NUNS.

WELL, I'VE GOT ANOTHER
SISTER BERTRILLE

ON MY HANDS.

OH, THANK YOU. I TRY.

(Linda) NOW, IF
YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

I'LL GO LOOK AFTER THE CHILDREN.

[sighing]

THE SHAPIROS ARE
ARRIVING THIS AFTERNOON.

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

I'VE GOT A SUGGESTION.

(Carlos) I DON'T WANT ANY
PART OF YOUR SUGGESTIONS.

ONLY 100% EMERGENCY CAN
MAKE ME EVEN LISTEN TO YOU AGAIN.

SENOR RAMIREZ, WOULD YOU NOT SAY

THAT THE SHAPIROS' ARRIVAL
CONSTITUTES A 100% EMERGENCY?

[sighing]

WHAT IS YOUR SUGGESTION?

WELL, I ONCE TOOK A COURSE
IN APPLIED PSYCHOLOGY

AND I'VE GOT AN IDEA HOW LINDA
MIGHT BECOME DISENCHANTED

WITH THE NOTION
OF BECOMING A NUN.

PUT HER ON THE ASSIGNMENT LIST.

THE CONVENT ASSIGNMENT LIST.

[sniffling]

ARE YOU FEELING
SAD, SISTER SIXTO?

OH, NO. WHENEVER I PEEL ONIONS,

I CRY LIKE A BOOBY.

BABY?

BABY FOR YOU, BOOBY FOR ME.

HERE. LET ME.

OH, NO.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO CRY.

PLEASE.

YOU KNOW, SISTER SIXTO,

I'M SO HAPPY HERE, I
NEVER WANNA LEAVE.

NEVER?

WELL, MAYBE FOR MY
BROTHER'S BAR MITZVAH.

[sighing]

[birds chirping]

CARLOS, THIS IS A CONVENT.

I THOUGHT WE WERE
GOING TO GET LINDA.

YEAH, WE ARE. BUT I
DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I THOUGHT LINDA WAS STAYING
WITH FRIENDS OF YOURS.

WELL, THE SISTERS
ARE MY FRIENDS.

VERY DEDICATED, WARM-HEARTED,
WELL-MEANING PEOPLE.

YOU'LL LIKE THEM.

WELL, I'M SURE WE
WILL, BUT WHERE'S LINDA?

OH, SHE'S GETTING
DRESSED. I HOPE.

GETTING DRESSED?

WELL, WHAT I MEAN IS, UH,
SHE'S CHANGING HER CLOTHES.

I HOPE.

CARLOS, IS THERE
SOMETHING, UH...

[door closing]

HI, MOM. HI, DAD.

LINDA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M ON THE ASSIGNMENT LIST.

YOU'RE ON THE ASSIGNMENT LIST?

YOU HAVE TO BE.

THAT'S PART OF THE
FUN OF BEING A NUN.

DEAR, WE KNOW YOU
WANT TO BE A NUN,

BUT HAVE YOU REALLY
THOUGHT THIS OUT?

REMEMBER, LAST YEAR YOU
WANTED TO BE A POLICEWOMAN.

AND THE YEAR BEFORE
THAT AN ACTRESS?

YOU'VE THOUGHT THAT OUT, TOO.

(Rev. Mother) LINDA,

PROBABLY NEXT YEAR YOU WILL
WANT TO BE SOMETHING ELSE.

I'LL WANT TO BE LIKE
SISTER BERTRILLE ALWAYS.

LINDA, YOUR MOTHER
AND FATHER HAVE PLANNED

SUCH A WONDERFUL
VACATION FOR YOU.

(Mrs. Shapiro) WE'RE GOING
TO STAY IN A BIG HOTEL.

AND YOU CAN CALL ROOM SERVICE
AND ORDER WHATEVER YOU WANT.

AND THEY HAVE A SWIMMING
POOL AND CHILDREN'S PLAY ROOM.

YOU TWO ENJOY
YOURSELVES. I LIKE IT HERE.

[clears throat]
SISTER BERTRILLE.

LINDA,

IT'S TIME TO STOP
PLAYING OUR LITTLE GAME.

WHAT GAME?

THE GAME OF YOU
BEING SISTER SHAPIRO.

IT'S OVER NOW.

BUT I WASN'T PLAYING.

I MEANT IT.

AND I THOUGHT YOU MEANT IT, TOO.

I JUST WANTED TO
MAKE YOUR STAY HERE

A HAPPY ONE.

THEN THAT'S ALL IT WAS? A GAME.

[crying] AND I THOUGHT
YOU REALLY LIKED ME.

OH, LINDA, I DO LIKE YOU.

I DON'T WANNA LISTEN
TO YOU ANYMORE.

HERE.

I'LL CHANGE MY CLOTHES NOW.

[sobbing]

SHE WILL MEND. CHILDREN DO.

I'M SO SORRY ALL OF
THIS HAD TO HAPPEN.

WELL, THERE'S NO NEED
TO APOLOGIZE, SISTER.

I'M SURE LINDA WILL BENEFIT
FROM THE EXPERIENCE.

WHENEVER PEOPLE
REACH OUT TO EACH OTHER,

IT ONLY MAKES FOR
BETTER UNDERSTANDING.

THAT IS TRUE, SISTER.

I THINK IT'S TIME I DO
LITTLE MORE REACHING OUT.

EXCUSE ME.

[doorknob clicking]

PLEASE GO AWAY.

OH, LINDA.

I DO LIKE YOU. VERY MUCH.

I CAN'T BELIEVE
ANYTHING YOU SAY.

BUT, LINDA, YOU MUST KNOW BY NOW

THAT SISTERS DON'T LIE.

SISTER BERTRILLE,

ALL I WANTED TO DO
WAS TO BE JUST LIKE YOU

[sniffling]

AND HELP PEOPLE.

AND HAVE THEM LIKE ME,
THE WAY THEY LIKE YOU.

I THOUGHT YOU'D BE PLEASED.

OH, BUT I AM PLEASED.

WHY, IT'S THE NICEST
COMPLIMENT ANYONE EVER GAVE ME.

BUT, MY GOODNESS, THERE'S
LOTS OF WAYS OF HELPING PEOPLE.

WHY, YOU COULD BE A TEACHER,

OR A NURSE, OR A SOCIAL WORKER.

OR JUST A GOOD HUMAN BEING.

IF THERE'RE ALL THOSE WAYS,

HOW COME YOU ALWAYS
WANTED TO BE A NUN?

I DIDN'T. NOT ALWAYS.

YOU DIDN'T?

THAT'S WHAT I ONCE WANTED TO BE.

THAT LOOKS LIKE
YOU, SISTER BERTRILLE.

(Bertrille) THAT WAS ME, ELSIE
EFFINGTON, QUEEN OF THE WIPEOUTS.

MY SISTER, JENNIFER, WAS CLEANING
OUT THE ATTIC THE OTHER DAY,

SHE CAME ACROSS THOSE HOME
MOVIES. SHE SENT THEM TO ME.

I DIDN'T HAVE AN EXCUSE
TO SHOW THEM UNTIL NOW.

[chuckling]

[inaudible]

AND WHO, PRAY TELL, IS THAT?

(Bertrille) OH, THAT'S ME, TOO.

I WAS PART OF A ROCK AND
ROLL GROUP CALLED "THE GORIES."

WE USED TO PLAY AT PARTIES
AND HIGH SCHOOL DANCES,

RAISE MONEY FOR THE
STUDENT BODY FUND.

YOU MEAN YOU WERE RAISING
MONEY EVEN BEFORE YOU MET ME?

AMONG OTHER THINGS.

[chuckles]

FOR A WHILE I EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT
TAKING UP A CAREER OF MECHANICS.

BUT EVEN THOUGH I
HAD PLENTY OF DESIRE,

IT TURNED OUT I
WAS A LITTLE SHORT

IN THE TALENT DEPARTMENT.

(Bertrille) I WAS ALWAYS
POKING AROUND

THE WRONG PLACES
AT THE WRONG TIMES.

OF COURSE, ALL THAT WAS BEFORE
I SUDDENLY WENT CLOTHES CRAZY

AND DECIDED TO BECOME THE
WORLD'S MOST DAZZLING MODEL.

TROUBLE WAS, I DIDN'T
HAVE THE RIGHT EQUIPMENT

FOR THAT SORT OF WORK EITHER.

SO I GAVE THAT UP, TOO.

OH!

[clears throat]

SO, YOU SEE, LINDA,

EVEN THOUGH I DECIDED
TO BECOME A NUN,

I GAVE MYSELF A CHANCE
TO GROW UP FIRST.

TO DO MANY THINGS,
AND BE MANY THINGS,

AND EXPERIENCE THE
JOYS OF JUST BEING YOUNG.

SISTER BERTRILLE,

I'LL ALWAYS WANNA BE LIKE YOU

AND HELP PEOPLE,

BUT I THINK I'LL
START BY BEING ME.

OK.

IF I CALL ROOM SERVICE, WOULD
THEY BRING ME A SURFBOARD?

WILL YOU TEACH ME?
PLEASE, COME ON.

WELL, I... PLEASE.

(male announcer) FLIGHT NUMBER
50 FOR MIAMI NOW BOARDING.

THERE THEY ARE.
(Mr. Shapiro) HI.

WE'RE SO GLAD YOU
COULD SEE US OFF.

GREAT VACATION. LINDA TURNED
OUT TO BE THE BEST LITTLE SURFER

ON THE BEACH.

BUT, LINDA, YOU HAVE
TO CHECK THE SURFBOARD

WITH THE REST OF THE BAGGAGE.

OH, I'M NOT TAKING IT
WITH ME, UNCLE CARLOS.

I'M LEAVING IT HERE FOR THE
CHILDREN AT THE CONVENT.

OH, LINDA, THAT'S
VERY NICE OF YOU.

I'LL TELL THE CHILDREN
YOU SENT IT TO THEM.

(male announcer) FLIGHT
NUMBER 40, LAST CALL.

THAT'S US.

THANK YOU, CARLOS.
GOODBYE, UNCLE CARLOS.

UM, HAVE A NICE TRIP.

GOODBYE, SISTER BERTRILLE.

GOD BLESS YOU.

SHALOM.

WELL, YOU'RE OFF.

WELL, GOODBYE. GOODBYE!

THANK YOU FOR THE
BOARD. HERE IT IS.

OK, BYE. GOODBYE, CARLOS.

SEE YOU LATER. ALL RIGHT, NOW.

(all) BYE-BYE.

LET ME KNOW YOU WITH THIS.

OH, NO. I'M USED TO IT.

(male announcer)
FLIGHT NUMBER 40...