The Flying Nun (1967–1970): Season 1, Episode 22 - Sister Lucky - full transcript
Running into a craps game down at the docks, Sister Bertrille is renamed Sister Lucky by Juan, whose luck has changed for the better with the sister's arrival. The Reverend Mother however makes Sister Bertrille return Juan's donation since it was obtained through gambling as well as through the false pretense of Sister Bertrille being his lucky charm. He refuses to take the money back, so Sister Bertrille starts an impromptu craps game just to prove she isn't his lucky charm. Not only does she fail to do so - Juan's dice throwing is red hot - but she and the rest of the gamblers get hauled off to jail when the police arrive on the scene. Down at the jail solely to get her out of jail, Sister Bertrille convinces Carlos and Captain Lopez that Carlos, the professional gambler, should gamble with Juan one-on-one to prove that she isn't his lucky charm. It doesn't start out well as Juan wins when the sister is there and loses when the sister isn't. Finally the streak turns as Juan loses when the sister is present. Unfortunately Juan is out of money and his markers are worthless. Rather than let Carlos' lawyers deal with the situation, Sister Bertrille proposes that Carlos let Juan work at the casino to pay off his debt and more importantly work off his zest for gambling.
[barking]
(Jacqueline) CHARITY IS AN EVERYDAY
THING AT CONVENT SAN TANCO.
BUT I SHALL NEVER FORGET
ONE PARTICULAR DAY
WHEN SISTER BERTRILLE, WITH
HER CHARACTERISTIC ENTHUSIASM,
SET OUT TO SOLICIT
FUNDS FOR THE POOR.
GET WITH IT.
ALL RIGHT, HE GO,
GOES, GENTLEMEN.
ALL GO.
[inaudible] POLICE?
HI.
WILL YOU MIND, SISTER?
OH, NOT AT ALL. GO RIGHT AHEAD.
UH, LOOK, I WAS JUST COLLECTING
MONEY FOR THE POOR AND I...
UH, UH, SOME OTHER TIME. PLEASE.
$5 STILL OPEN OUT THERE.
I'LL TAKE 3 OF IT. WHO
WANTS THE OTHER 2?
ME.
SISTER, WITH ALL DUE
RESPECT, WILL YOU GET LOST?
OH, NO. PLEASE
FORGIVE JUAN, SISTER.
HE GOT A BIG LOSING
STREAK, YOU KNOW?
YEAH, WELL, I DON'T NEED
A HOUSE TO FALL ON ME.
ANYONE ELSE FOR CHARITY?
ALL RIGHT. HERE, ROLL 'EM, ROLL
'EM. COME ON, COME ON, ROLL 'EM.
THANK YOU VERY
MUCH. GOODBYE, SISTER.
[men clamoring]
COME ON, SNAKE EYES.
[all shouting]
7!
HEY, SISTER.
[exclaiming]
ALL RIGHT.
[laughing] THANK YOU.
COME ON, YOU
ROLL, [all chattering]
COME ON, SNAKE EYES.
COME ON 4!
[exclaiming]
SISTER LUCKY, WHERE
YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?
I GOT, STILL GOT $5...
(Juan) ONE FOR THE RICH,
ME. ONE FOR THE POOR.
ONE FOR THE RICH.
ONE FOR THE POOR.
OH, THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.
SISTER, YOU EARNED
IT. I EARNED IT?
SURE. LISTEN, BEFORE
YOU CAME ALONG,
I COULDN'T ROLL A
7 WITH LOADED DICE.
I HAVE A FEELING IT'S GOING
TO BE VERY DIFFERENT NOW.
HOW CAN I EVER THANK YOU?
OH, DON'T THANK ME. JUST KEEP
COMING DOWN TO THE DOCKS.
WE'RE A WINNING
COMBINATION, YOU AND ME.
NOW, LISTEN, WE HAVE A GAME
HERE EVERY DAY ABOUT NOONTIME.
YOU COME AROUND ANY TIME
YOU WANT. TOMORROW, HUH?
UH, LISTEN, I HAVE
TO GO BACK TO WORK.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE BETTER
THAN A RABBIT'S FOOT.
OH, WAIT UNTIL REVEREND
MOTHER SEES THIS.
[laughing]
SISTER LUCKY?
WELL, IT'S JUST A NICKNAME,
REVEREND MOTHER.
BUT AFTER HE MADE 4 THE HARD WAY
AND THEN THREW 7
NATURAL PASSES IN A ROW.
HE THREW WHAT?
HE WON. AND THIS IS OUR SPLIT.
I MEAN, UH, HIS
CONTRIBUTION TO THE POOR.
SISTER BERTRILLE, YOU
WILL RETURN THIS MONEY,
EVERY LAST PENNY.
AND FURTHER, YOU WILL
DISABUSE THIS MAN OF THE NOTION
THAT A SISTER OF SAN
TANCO IS IN ANY WAY
A GAMBLER'S GOOD LUCK CHARM.
REVEREND MOTHER, JUAN
DIDN'T MEAN ANY HARM.
NO. I AM SURE THAT HE DID NOT.
BUT YOU, SISTER BERTRILLE,
HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY
OF PRESENTING A CERTAIN
IMAGE TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD
AND IT IS NOT
THAT OF A... A... A...
RABBIT'S FOOT?
ANYTHING IS AN
IMPROVEMENT ON SISTER LUCKY.
YES, REVEREND MOTHER.
UH, INCIDENTALLY,
YOU MAY HAVE HEARD
THAT BISHOP PARNELL WILL BE
VISITING FROM THE MAINLAND TODAY.
I WOULD APPRECIATE
YOUR MAKING HIS STAY
AS UNEVENTFUL AS POSSIBLE.
YES, REVEREND MOTHER.
HEY, SISTER LUCKY.
I'M NOT SISTER LUCKY. I'M
SISTER BERTRILLE. BERTRILLE.
AND I'VE COME TO
GIVE YOUR MONEY BACK.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU RUN OUT OF POOR?
NO. BUT I GOT THIS MONEY
UNDER FALSE PRETENSES.
I'M NOT YOUR LUCKY CHARM.
WELL, SISTER, YOU
KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.
[straining] A ROSE
BY ANY OTHER NAME
STILL SMELLS PRETTY GOOD.
BUT, JUAN, NOW LISTEN TO ME.
I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR
WINNING OR LOSING ANY MONEY.
YOU SEE, IT'S A MATTER OF MATHEMATICAL
ODDS AND THE LAW OF PROBABILITY.
IS THAT A FACT? YES.
YOU SEE, IT'S A... IT'S
A SCIENTIFIC FACT.
IN... IN... IN COLLEGE WE
PUT ON THIS EXPERIMENT,
YOU KNOW, WHERE THEY
SKY-FLIP THIS COIN FOR 2 DAYS,
YOU KNOW WHAT IT PROVED? YEAH.
IT PROVED THAT KID'S OLD MAN
WAS WASTING A LOT OF MONEY
SENDING HIM TO COLLEGE. NO.
IT PROVED THAT WITHIN
A GIVEN PERIOD OF TIME,
THE SAME NUMBER OF HEADS
AND TAILS WILL ALWAYS COME UP.
YEAH. BUT, SISTER, THAT LITTLE
KID DIDN'T HAVE YOU WITH HIM.
OH, JUAN, THIS IS
ABSOLUTELY NONSENSE.
NOW HERE, TAKE YOUR
MONEY BACK, PLEASE.
WHAT? AND RUIN A
GOOD THING? NO CHANCE.
OK. WELL, I'LL JUST
LEAVE IT RIGHT HERE.
SISTER, WAIT A MINUTE.
LISTEN TO ME PLEASE.
I'VE BEEN GAMBLING A LONG TIME.
I HAD COLD STREAKS,
I HAD HOT STREAKS.
MOSTLY COLD STREAKS.
LATELY FROZEN STREAKS.
NOW JUST WHEN THINGS
BEGINNING TO WARM UP,
YOU'RE GONNA QUEER IT FOR ME?
YOU MEAN TO TELL ME
YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT?
OH, ABSOLUTELY.
WELL, IT'S COMPLETELY ILLOGICAL.
SISTER, WHO EVER TOLD YOU
GAMBLERS WERE LOGICAL PEOPLE?
WELL, YOU SHOULDN'T BE
GAMBLING IN THE FIRST PLACE.
THAT'S ANOTHER STORY.
PLEASE, SISTER, TAKE THE MONEY.
OK.
OK.
[grunting] JUST
LET IT SIT THERE.
OH, JUAN, YOU'RE THE MOST
STUBBORN MAN I'VE EVER MET.
OK. OK.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO GET THIS "SISTER
LUCKY" NONSENSE OUT OF YOUR HEAD
ONCE AND FOR ALL.
HAVE YOU GOT THOSE DICE?
I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE THEM.
OK. ROLL IT.
ROLL WHAT? WHERE'S THE GAME?
RIGHT HERE.
ME BET AGAINST YOU?
YOU'RE NOT BETTING
AGAINST ANYONE.
THIS IS JUST A
LITTLE EXPERIMENT.
SISTER, LISTEN TO ME.
YOU GOT YOUR
RELIGION, I GOT MINE.
I DON'T SHOOT NO CRAPS UNLESS
I GOT A LITTLE SOMETHING GOING.
AND UNDER NO CONDITIONS
AM I GOING TO TANGLE WITH YOU.
GOODBYE, SISTER.
WAIT A MINUTE, OF
ALL THE IMPOSSIBLE...
UH, SENOR, UH, COULD
YOU HELP US OUT HERE?
UH, WE HERE ARE PERFORMING
THIS LITTLE EXPERIMENT
AND WE, UH, KIND OF
NEED A MIDDLEMAN.
HERE YOU GO. ROLL IT.
(Juan) 45. JUST THE
NUMBER I HAD IN MIND.
5 STRAIGHT PASSES,
I'M NOT EVEN WARM YET.
YOU WANT TO CONTINUE?
OF COURSE HE WISHES TO CONTINUE.
AFTER ALL, THIS IS
JUST AN EXPERIMENT.
[Juan blowing dice]
BE NATURAL, DICE. COMIN' OUT.
HELLO, 5.23.
23.23.23.
HELLO, 5.
[Juan exclaiming]
[men chattering]
17 STRAIGHT PASSES.
SISTER, YOU STILL BELIEVE
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS LUCK?
ABSOLUTELY. EVENTUALLY THE LAW
OF PROBABILITY WILL PROVE ITSELF.
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO SNAKE EYES?
COMIN' OUT. COMIN' OUT.
10. A DIFFICULT POINT TO MAKE.
WRONG. AN EASY POINT TO MAKE WHEN
YOU HAVE SISTER LUCKY ON YOUR TEAM.
[Juan speaking Spanish]
THIS IS THE ONE, 5 AND 5.
[men exclaiming] 10 BACK AGAIN.
I GIVE UP.
OH, WELL, I DON'T. THIS
CAN'T GO ON FOREVER.
[policeman whistling]
SISTER, YOU SAID IT.
(Juan) RUN. WHAT?
I SWEAR... SISTER.
OH, HELLO, OFF-OFFICER,
LISTEN, THIS ISN'T
WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.
I WAS JUST TRYING
TO SHOW THAT, UH...
WELL, THAT... THAT MAN
THAT SOONER OR LATER
MY LUCK WOULD RUN OUT.
YOU KNOW WHAT, SISTER? WHAT?
IT JUST DID. IT JUST DID.
AH-HAH.
FATHER GONZAGA LOOKS VERY WELL.
UH, YES. INDEED.
I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR MAKING
THIS EXTRA STOP TO DROP OFF MY BAGS.
OUR PLEASURE, YOUR GRACE.
I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO
SEEING SAN TANCO AGAIN.
IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME
SINCE MY LAST VISIT.
I SUPPOSE IT'S ALL CHANGED.
CHANGED?
NO, I THINK IT'S MUCH THE SAME.
WE TRY TO DO OUR
VERY BEST, YOUR GRACE,
JUST TO KEEP THINGS
FROM CHANGING,
UH, FOR THE WORSE.
A NOT TOO UNUSUAL
PROBLEM, SISTER,
IN OUR WORLD TODAY.
YES, INDEED.
OH, REVEREND MOTHER,
DID I REMEMBER TO
MENTION IN MY LETTER
THAT I WISHED TO
MEET SISTER BERTRILLE?
SISTER BERTRILLE?
DO YOU KNOW HER, YOUR GRACE?
NO.
BUT HER AUNT AND UNCLE ASKED
ME TO BRING THEIR REGARDS.
TO SEE HOW SHE'S PROGRESSING.
SHE IS STILL WITH YOU?
[police siren wailing]
OH, YES. YES, INDEED.
SISTER BERTRILLE IS
ONE OF OUR MOST, UH,
MOST ACTIVE NOVICES.
DEDICATED AND ACTIVE IN
ALL AREAS OF HER VOCATION?
SISTER BERTRILLE SEEMS
TO, UH, GO INTO AREAS
THAT WE HAVE NEVER
THOUGHT OF ENTERING BEFORE.
SOME SISTER LUCKY.
LOOK WHERE IT GOT US.
OH, DON'T FEEL SO BAD, SISTER.
LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.
THE FOOD IS NOT SO
BAD, THE PRICE IS RIGHT.
I STILL FEEL LUCKY.
BESIDES, YOU'RE FREE
TO GO ANY TIME YOU WANT.
EVEN CAPT. LOPEZ HAS ENOUGH
SENSE TO KNOW YOU WEREN'T GAMBLING.
AND NEITHER WERE YOU.
WELL, THAT HE'S
NOT SO SURE ABOUT.
(Carlos) WHAT DO YOU MEAN CAPT.
LOPEZ WILL NOT ALLOW VISITORS?
IF YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW
WASN'T A COMMISSIONER,
YOU'D STILL BE
STUFFING ENCHILADAS.
SENOR, PLEASE.
(Bertrille) CARLOS.
I SEE IT, BUT I DO
NOT BELIEVE IT.
HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS HERE?
MY DEAR SISTER BERTRILLE,
WHEN THE POLICE GRAB A
NUN IN A FLOATING CRAP GAME,
SOMEHOW THE WORD GETS AROUND.
AND YOU CAME ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE
BECAUSE YOU WERE WORRIED ABOUT ME?
OH, CARLOS, IT'S SO
NICE OF YOU TO CARE.
OF COURSE I CARE.
AFTER ALL, YOU'RE ONE
OF MY BEST FRIENDS.
AND YOU, LOCKIN' UP A NUN.
YOU OUGHT TO BE
THROWN IN YOUR OWN JAIL.
SENOR RAMIREZ, PLEASE.
THE GOOD SISTER IS
ABSOLUTELY FREE TO LEAVE.
SHE IS STAYING HERE
AGAINST MY WILL.
I AM NOT HOLDING
HER. I WILL SHOW YOU.
SISTER, EH?
NOW, SHE INSISTS
ON STAYING IN MY JAIL.
WELL, I'VE GOT GOOD
REASONS. THEM.
THEM? THEM.
ME. YOU?
WHY?
WELL, IT'S A LONG STORY. YOU SEE,
JUAN GAVE ME A DOLLAR FOR THE POOR
AND EVER SINCE THEN HE'S
BEEN ON A WINNING STREAK.
THIS LOSER?
THAT'S RIGHT, SPORT.
EVER SINCE SISTER LUCKY CAME
INTO MY LIFE, EVERYTHING IS CHANGED.
WHAT A PITY I CAN'T
ACCOMMODATE YOU.
I WON'T BE IN HERE
FOREVER, MATADOR.
WELL, MY CASINO IS
ALWAYS AT YOUR DISPOSAL,
24 HOURS A DAY.
OH, REALLY?
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
THE WHOLE IDEA IS OUTRAGEOUS.
FOR ONCE I'M FORCED
TO AGREE WITH HIM.
BUT, CARLOS, YOU SAID
YOURSELF YOU COULDN'T LOSE.
YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME SHOW
JUAN THAT I'M NOT HIS LUCKY CHARM.
SISTER, I CAME HERE JUST
TO GET YOU OUT OF JAIL,
NOT TO GET INVOLVED IN
ONE OF YOUR CRAZY SCHEMES.
BUT I CAN'T LEAVE UNTIL I
MAKE JUAN UNDERSTAND.
I PROMISED THE REVEREND MOTHER.
SISTER, PLEASE.
I'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL, CARLOS.
YOU DO THIS FOR
ME AND I'LL LEAVE.
OK. I'LL DO IT.
OH, YOU CANNOT
GAMBLE IN MY JAIL.
BECAUSE IT IS AGAINST
THE... THE... THE... THE LAW.
BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT.
CARLOS IS A
PROFESSIONAL GAMBLER.
HE HAS A LICENSE
TO RUN A CASINO.
BUT THIS IS NOT
A CASINO, SISTER.
YES, BUT, CAPTAIN,
YOU KNOW THE SAYING:
IF MOHAMMED CAN'T GO
TO THE MOUNTAIN... NO.
IT IS IMPOSSIBLE. DEFINITELY NO!
MY BROTHER-IN-LAW
SHOULD ONLY WALK IN NOW...
OH, DON'T WORRY
ABOUT IT, CAPTAIN.
CONTRARY TO APPEARANCES,
YOU'RE ACTUALLY DOING
HUMANITY A GREAT SERVICE.
IF HE WOULD LOOK
AT IT THAT WAY, YES.
(Juan) UH, INCIDENTALLY, UH,
HOW MUCH IS THE BANK?
MORE THAN ENOUGH, MY FRIEND.
I WOULDN'T WORRY IF I WERE YOU.
WELL, SINCE I'M
GOING TO BREAK IT,
I'D LIKE TO KNOW
WHAT I'M SHOOTING FOR.
I WILL LET YOU KNOW WHEN
THE PAIN BECOMES UNBEARABLE.
SOON, I HOPE.
NOW, AHEM, SHALL WE TALK
ABOUT THE COLOR OF YOUR MONEY?
[clearing throat]
ENVELOPE, PLEASE. AH, YES.
MMM-HMM.
ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT
TO GO THROUGH WITH THIS?
DEAL. DEAL. DEAL.
[sighs]
HIT ME.
ALL RIGHT.
20.
(Juan) 21.
♪ [whistling]
[exclaims]
BLACK JACK!
[Juan laughs]
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
YOU COULDN'T LOSE.
IN THE LONG RUN.
WELL, I'M IN KIND OF A HURRY.
AND I, TOO.
PATIENCE.
PATIENCE.
18. DEALER PAYS 19.
AH, 19! YOU MUST HAVE
BEEN READING MY MIND.
[Juan laughs]
PATIENCE. PATIENCE.
AFTER ALL, IN THE LONG RUN...
CARLOS, JUST HOW LONG
IS THIS RUN GONNA BE?
I'M AFRAID WE'LL NEVER KNOW.
THE GAME IS OVER.
THE BANK IS CLOSED.
WHAT?
YOU'VE WON THE LIMIT.
SO RAISE IT, MATADOR.
NOT TODAY, MY FRIEND.
CARLOS... NO, SISTER.
MAY I SPEAK TO YOU FOR
A MOMENT? NO, SISTER.
NO, SISTER. NO, NO, NO, NO.
BUT, CARLOS, IF YOU QUIT NOW,
I'LL NEVER BE ABLE
TO CONVINCE HIM,
AND THE REVEREND
MOTHER WILL FIND OUT.
AND YOU WON'T HAVE
HELPED MATTERS AT ALL,
YOU'D HAVE MADE 'EM WORSE.
I'VE MADE THEM WORSE? YES.
IN THE LONG RUN, AND...
WELL, I KNOW. I KNOW.
WHY CAN'T I LEAD A NICE,
NORMAL, UNCOMPLICATED LIFE?
BEFORE YOU CAME TO SAN
JUAN, MY DAYS WERE CAREFREE,
FILLED WITH ROMANCE AND BEAUTY.
NOW, GONE.
FOR YEARS I RUN A CASINO
WITH GREAT SUCCESS.
NOW YOU COME UP WITH SOME CLOWN
WHO'S ABOUT TO PUT
ME INTO BANKRUPTCY.
BUT, CARLOS, YOU SAID YOU
COULD BEAT HIM... OK, FINE.
I'LL GO BACK TO THAT CELL. BUT
YOU KNOW SOMETHING? WHAT?
I MAY END UP THERE PERMANENTLY.
FOR GAMBLING? NO, FOR MURDER.
[telephone buzzing]
UH, ONE MOMENT, SISTER.
CAPTAIN LOPEZ SPEAKING.
OH, CAPT. LOPEZ, THIS
IS SISTER JACQUELINE.
IS SISTER BERTRILLE
WITH YOU, BY ANY CHANCE?
UNFORTUNATELY, YES, UH,
SISTER JACQUELINE. YES.
UH, WO-WO-WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE
FOR ME TO SPEAK WITH HER?
UH, YES. CERTAINLY, YES.
PLEASE SPEAK TO HER, PLEASE.
HI. EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
YES, OF COURSE.
UH, WE'RE JUST A LITTLE CONCERNED
ABOUT YOUR LONG ABSENCE.
WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU DOING?
TRYING TO DO WHAT THE
REVEREND MOTHER TOLD ME TO DO.
CONVINCE JUAN I'M
NOT HIS LUCKY NUN.
BUT THAT HASN'T BEEN EASY.
I SEE.
SISTER JACQUELINE, IS
SISTER BERTRILLE FREE YET?
NO, I'M AFRAID SHE'S
STILL, UH, TIED UP.
WHEN DO YOU SUPPOSE
SHE'LL BE AT LIBERTY?
SISTER, HOW... HOW SOON DO
YOU THINK YOU'LL BE THROUGH
WITH YOUR ASSIGNMENT?
BISHOP PARNELL IS MOST
ANXIOUS TO SEE YOU.
OH, BOY, I FORGOT ALL ABOUT HIM.
I WOULDN'T.
WELL, THAT'S KIND OF A PROBLEM
CONSIDERING I'M UNDER ARREST.
OR I AM AS LONG AS JUAN
AND THE OTHERS ARE.
I CAN'T VERY WELL JUST WALK
OUT, AND NOW CARLOS IS IN TROUBLE,
AND THINGS HAVE GONE
FROM BAD TO WORSE,
AND I CAN'T VERY WELL BE IN
2 PLACES AT THE SAME TIME.
[whispering] WELL,
YOU'VE DONE IT BEFORE.
I SUGGEST YOU DO IT AGAIN.
RIGHT.
[clearing throat]
SAY, HOW ABOUT SOME FRESH AIR?
THERE IS NO ONE ON DUTY IN
THE EXERCISE YARD AT THIS HOUR.
OH.
ANYONE FOR FOOD?
THE KITCHEN IS CLOSED.
OH.
I DON'T SUPPOSE
ANYONE'S THIRSTY?
WELL, YOU KNOW, SISTER, I COULD
GO FOR SOMETHING TALL AND COLD.
GREAT. I'LL GET
YOU A SOFT DRINK.
WELL, LISTEN, PLEASE
DON'T BE TOO LONG. NO.
YOU WILL FIND A MACHINE
DOWN THE HALL. RIGHT.
[crickets chirruping]
[footsteps pattering]
BOY! SISTER, AM I IN TIME?
HIS GRACE AWAITS WITHIN.
OH, GREAT. OH, SISTER, COULD YOU
PLEASE ROUND UP A COUPLE OF BOTTLES
OF SODA POP FOR ME TO TAKE BACK?
SODA POP? YEAH.
TO TAKE BACK? I... I
THOUGHT YOU WERE PAROLED.
NO, I BUSTED OUT.
BUT IF I DON'T GET BACK,
THINGS WILL BE MUCH WORSE.
ALL RIGHT.
SORRY TO KEEP YOU
WAITING, YOUR GRACE.
SISTER BERTRILLE?
I'M SO GLAD YOU WERE
ABLE TO GET AWAY.
GET AWAY? YES.
REVEREND MOTHER PLACIDO TELLS ME
YOU ARE HER MOST ACTIVE NOVICE.
OH.
I'VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG I'D
ALMOST FORGOTTEN MY MISSION.
YOUR AUNT AND UNCLE ASKED
ME TO LOOK YOU UP ON THIS TRIP,
AND TO GIVE YOU THIS.
OH, THANK YOU, YOUR GRACE.
AND THANK THEM FOR ME AND
GIVE THEM MY FONDEST REGARDS.
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE
ME. BUT, SISTER,
I'D LIKE TO BE ABLE TO TAKE BACK
A LITTLE MORE THAN THAT WITH ME.
YOU MUST TELL ME
ALL ABOUT YOURSELF.
OH. WELL, THERE'S
NOT MUCH TO TELL.
NOW, NOW.
WE MUSTN'T BE TOO HUMBLE.
SIT DOWN, PLEASE.
I... I KNOW HOW PRESSED FOR
TIME YOU MUST BE. I'LL JUST...
I HAVE ALL THE
TIME IN THE WORLD.
PLEASE SIT DOWN, SISTER.
REVEREND MOTHER TELLS ME
THAT YOU'RE VERY HAPPY IN
THE WORK THAT YOU'RE DOING.
THAT REMINDS ME, I'VE GOT...
SISTER, PLEASE, SIT DOWN.
[chattering]
(Bertrille) ...DESPITE
OUR LACK OF FUNDS,
THE CHILDREN HAVE STILL
BEEN ABLE TO BENEFIT
FROM SOME OF THE
NEWEST TEACHING METHODS.
AND SENOR RAMIREZ HAS BEEN
SO GENEROUS... SISTER BERTRILLE.
UH, WE MUST NOT TAKE
UP ALL THE BISHOP'S TIME.
NO. YOU'RE RIGHT, REVEREND
MOTHER. I WAS JUST...
I KNOW THAT YOU HAVE TO
GO BACK BEFORE THEY, UH...
I MEAN TO FINISH
YOUR ASSIGNMENT.
I'M SURE THAT BISHOP
PARNELL WILL EXCUSE YOU.
WELL, I SUPPOSE I MUST.
[men chattering]
HERE YOU ARE, JUAN.
SOMETHING TALL AND COOL.
OH, SISTER, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
GET YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK.
AND WHERE DID YOU GO
FOR IT? THE... THE CONVENT?
LOOK AT THIS.
WIPED OUT, HUH? CLEAN.
WELL, I'M SORRY, JUAN, BUT
MAYBE IT'S FOR THE BEST.
IT JUST PROVES WHAT I'VE
BEEN SAYING THE WHOLE TIME...
NO, SISTER. DON'T YOU SEE IT PROVES
WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING ALL ALONG?
YOU ARE MY LUCKY CHARM.
JUAN, THAT'S NOT TRUE. SISTER,
YOU WEREN'T HERE, SO I LOST.
DON'T YOU SEE NOW?
WAIT A MINUTE.
WHY AM I GETTING EXCITED?
NOW YOU'RE BACK, I CAN'T LOSE.
ALL RIGHT, MATADOR.
LET'S TRY IT NOW WITH
SISTER LUCKY BESIDE ME.
WITH WHAT, MY FRIEND?
I SEE NO CHIPS IN FRONT OF YOU.
UH, UH, TAKE... TAKE MY MARKER.
NO I.O.U.s ARE YOU AFRAID?
ME? AFRAID OF YOU?
BUT YOU PEOPLE NEVER LEARN.
WELL, I THINK YOU'VE ALREADY
TAKEN ENOUGH OF MY TIME.
OH, YOU... YOU SEE THAT,
SISTER. HE'S RUNNING SCARED.
HE KNOWS HE CAN'T BEAT US.
CARLOS,
PLEASE?
OK.
I'LL TAKE YOUR MARKER.
A PENCIL AND A PAPER, PLEASE.
WHAT WILL IT BE?
WELL, SINCE YOU'RE
IN SUCH A HURRY,
LET'S MAKE IT FAST
AND EASY FOR YOU.
UH, HIGH CARD.
HIGH CARD IT IS THEN.
ONCE MORE.
OK.
WAIT, WAIT, LET ME SEE YOURS.
ENOUGH, MY FRIEND?
JUAN, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO DO IT ANYMORE.
SISTER, JUST STAY
BESIDE ME. ONCE MORE.
UH, DOUBLE OR NOTHING.
DOUBLE OR NOTHING.
[grunts]
WELL, I'M SO GLAD THIS
IS FINALLY OVER WITH,
AND YOU CAN GET THIS SISTER
LUCKY NONSENSE OUT OF YOUR HEAD.
SISTER, MAYBE YOU CAN
GET IT OUT OF YOUR HEAD,
BUT, UH, I THINK IT'S
GOING TO BE A LONG TIME
BEFORE SENOR RAMIREZ
AND I CAN FORGET ABOUT IT.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WHAT I MEAN IS
MY MARKER IS WORTHLESS.
OH, NO.
CARLOS, I'M SO SORRY.
I HONESTLY DIDN'T...
DON'T SAY ANYTHING.
NOT A WORD. NOT...
NOT... NOT A WORD.
[sighs]
I KNEW IT. I JUST KNEW IT.
WHAT IS THIS?
SOME NEW KIND OF CHARITY
YOU WANT ME TO CONTRIBUTE TO?
OH, CARLOS, I'M SO
SORRY, IT'S ALL MY FAULT,
BUT IF YOU COULD JUST
GIVE US A LITTLE BIT OF TIME...
TIME? YEAH.
$600 WORTH OF TIME?
WHAT IS THIS?
IS HE ASKING TO GAMBLE ON CARLOS
RAMIREZ'S EASY 5-YEAR LAY-AWAY PLAN?
NO, SISTER. THAT'S
OUT OF THE QUESTION.
MY LAWYERS WILL
TAKE CARE OF THIS.
YOUR LAWYERS? HMM.
OH, WHAT CAN THEY DO?
PUT HIM IN JAIL?
HE'S ALREADY HERE.
CAN THEY GET YOU YOUR MONEY? NO.
AND IT'LL PROBABLY END
UP COSTING YOU A LOT MORE.
OH, CARLOS, I KNOW
WHAT JUAN DID WAS WRONG
AND I GUESS HE KNOWS THAT, TOO.
BUT YOU KNOW SOMETHING?
YOU COULD SOLVE 2
PROBLEMS AT ONCE.
ALL RIGHT. NOW, HOW
DO YOU PROPOSE THAT?
PUT JUAN TO WORK IN YOUR CASINO.
[snickering] IN MY CASINO?
YES. THAT WAY HE COULD
WORK OFF HIS ZEST FOR GAMBLING
AND PAY OFF THE
DEBT AT THE SAME TIME.
YOU KNOW, SISTER, I THINK
YOU HAVE A POINT THERE.
ME, TOO.
THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I
GET THE MONEY HE OWES ME.
WELL, THEN IT'S SET?
LET'S SHAKE ON IT.
[chuckles]
MAYBE I'M LUCKY FOR
YOU AFTER ALL, JUAN.
YES, SISTER LUCKY. I'M
VERY GRATEFUL TO YOU,
BUT LET'S GET ONE
THING STRAIGHT.
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS LUCK.
IT'S ALL A QUESTION
OF MATHEMATICS.
YEAH, YOU CAN MAKE BOOK ON THAT.
(Jacqueline) CHARITY IS AN EVERYDAY
THING AT CONVENT SAN TANCO.
BUT I SHALL NEVER FORGET
ONE PARTICULAR DAY
WHEN SISTER BERTRILLE, WITH
HER CHARACTERISTIC ENTHUSIASM,
SET OUT TO SOLICIT
FUNDS FOR THE POOR.
GET WITH IT.
ALL RIGHT, HE GO,
GOES, GENTLEMEN.
ALL GO.
[inaudible] POLICE?
HI.
WILL YOU MIND, SISTER?
OH, NOT AT ALL. GO RIGHT AHEAD.
UH, LOOK, I WAS JUST COLLECTING
MONEY FOR THE POOR AND I...
UH, UH, SOME OTHER TIME. PLEASE.
$5 STILL OPEN OUT THERE.
I'LL TAKE 3 OF IT. WHO
WANTS THE OTHER 2?
ME.
SISTER, WITH ALL DUE
RESPECT, WILL YOU GET LOST?
OH, NO. PLEASE
FORGIVE JUAN, SISTER.
HE GOT A BIG LOSING
STREAK, YOU KNOW?
YEAH, WELL, I DON'T NEED
A HOUSE TO FALL ON ME.
ANYONE ELSE FOR CHARITY?
ALL RIGHT. HERE, ROLL 'EM, ROLL
'EM. COME ON, COME ON, ROLL 'EM.
THANK YOU VERY
MUCH. GOODBYE, SISTER.
[men clamoring]
COME ON, SNAKE EYES.
[all shouting]
7!
HEY, SISTER.
[exclaiming]
ALL RIGHT.
[laughing] THANK YOU.
COME ON, YOU
ROLL, [all chattering]
COME ON, SNAKE EYES.
COME ON 4!
[exclaiming]
SISTER LUCKY, WHERE
YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?
I GOT, STILL GOT $5...
(Juan) ONE FOR THE RICH,
ME. ONE FOR THE POOR.
ONE FOR THE RICH.
ONE FOR THE POOR.
OH, THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.
SISTER, YOU EARNED
IT. I EARNED IT?
SURE. LISTEN, BEFORE
YOU CAME ALONG,
I COULDN'T ROLL A
7 WITH LOADED DICE.
I HAVE A FEELING IT'S GOING
TO BE VERY DIFFERENT NOW.
HOW CAN I EVER THANK YOU?
OH, DON'T THANK ME. JUST KEEP
COMING DOWN TO THE DOCKS.
WE'RE A WINNING
COMBINATION, YOU AND ME.
NOW, LISTEN, WE HAVE A GAME
HERE EVERY DAY ABOUT NOONTIME.
YOU COME AROUND ANY TIME
YOU WANT. TOMORROW, HUH?
UH, LISTEN, I HAVE
TO GO BACK TO WORK.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE BETTER
THAN A RABBIT'S FOOT.
OH, WAIT UNTIL REVEREND
MOTHER SEES THIS.
[laughing]
SISTER LUCKY?
WELL, IT'S JUST A NICKNAME,
REVEREND MOTHER.
BUT AFTER HE MADE 4 THE HARD WAY
AND THEN THREW 7
NATURAL PASSES IN A ROW.
HE THREW WHAT?
HE WON. AND THIS IS OUR SPLIT.
I MEAN, UH, HIS
CONTRIBUTION TO THE POOR.
SISTER BERTRILLE, YOU
WILL RETURN THIS MONEY,
EVERY LAST PENNY.
AND FURTHER, YOU WILL
DISABUSE THIS MAN OF THE NOTION
THAT A SISTER OF SAN
TANCO IS IN ANY WAY
A GAMBLER'S GOOD LUCK CHARM.
REVEREND MOTHER, JUAN
DIDN'T MEAN ANY HARM.
NO. I AM SURE THAT HE DID NOT.
BUT YOU, SISTER BERTRILLE,
HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY
OF PRESENTING A CERTAIN
IMAGE TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD
AND IT IS NOT
THAT OF A... A... A...
RABBIT'S FOOT?
ANYTHING IS AN
IMPROVEMENT ON SISTER LUCKY.
YES, REVEREND MOTHER.
UH, INCIDENTALLY,
YOU MAY HAVE HEARD
THAT BISHOP PARNELL WILL BE
VISITING FROM THE MAINLAND TODAY.
I WOULD APPRECIATE
YOUR MAKING HIS STAY
AS UNEVENTFUL AS POSSIBLE.
YES, REVEREND MOTHER.
HEY, SISTER LUCKY.
I'M NOT SISTER LUCKY. I'M
SISTER BERTRILLE. BERTRILLE.
AND I'VE COME TO
GIVE YOUR MONEY BACK.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU RUN OUT OF POOR?
NO. BUT I GOT THIS MONEY
UNDER FALSE PRETENSES.
I'M NOT YOUR LUCKY CHARM.
WELL, SISTER, YOU
KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.
[straining] A ROSE
BY ANY OTHER NAME
STILL SMELLS PRETTY GOOD.
BUT, JUAN, NOW LISTEN TO ME.
I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR
WINNING OR LOSING ANY MONEY.
YOU SEE, IT'S A MATTER OF MATHEMATICAL
ODDS AND THE LAW OF PROBABILITY.
IS THAT A FACT? YES.
YOU SEE, IT'S A... IT'S
A SCIENTIFIC FACT.
IN... IN... IN COLLEGE WE
PUT ON THIS EXPERIMENT,
YOU KNOW, WHERE THEY
SKY-FLIP THIS COIN FOR 2 DAYS,
YOU KNOW WHAT IT PROVED? YEAH.
IT PROVED THAT KID'S OLD MAN
WAS WASTING A LOT OF MONEY
SENDING HIM TO COLLEGE. NO.
IT PROVED THAT WITHIN
A GIVEN PERIOD OF TIME,
THE SAME NUMBER OF HEADS
AND TAILS WILL ALWAYS COME UP.
YEAH. BUT, SISTER, THAT LITTLE
KID DIDN'T HAVE YOU WITH HIM.
OH, JUAN, THIS IS
ABSOLUTELY NONSENSE.
NOW HERE, TAKE YOUR
MONEY BACK, PLEASE.
WHAT? AND RUIN A
GOOD THING? NO CHANCE.
OK. WELL, I'LL JUST
LEAVE IT RIGHT HERE.
SISTER, WAIT A MINUTE.
LISTEN TO ME PLEASE.
I'VE BEEN GAMBLING A LONG TIME.
I HAD COLD STREAKS,
I HAD HOT STREAKS.
MOSTLY COLD STREAKS.
LATELY FROZEN STREAKS.
NOW JUST WHEN THINGS
BEGINNING TO WARM UP,
YOU'RE GONNA QUEER IT FOR ME?
YOU MEAN TO TELL ME
YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT?
OH, ABSOLUTELY.
WELL, IT'S COMPLETELY ILLOGICAL.
SISTER, WHO EVER TOLD YOU
GAMBLERS WERE LOGICAL PEOPLE?
WELL, YOU SHOULDN'T BE
GAMBLING IN THE FIRST PLACE.
THAT'S ANOTHER STORY.
PLEASE, SISTER, TAKE THE MONEY.
OK.
OK.
[grunting] JUST
LET IT SIT THERE.
OH, JUAN, YOU'RE THE MOST
STUBBORN MAN I'VE EVER MET.
OK. OK.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO GET THIS "SISTER
LUCKY" NONSENSE OUT OF YOUR HEAD
ONCE AND FOR ALL.
HAVE YOU GOT THOSE DICE?
I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE THEM.
OK. ROLL IT.
ROLL WHAT? WHERE'S THE GAME?
RIGHT HERE.
ME BET AGAINST YOU?
YOU'RE NOT BETTING
AGAINST ANYONE.
THIS IS JUST A
LITTLE EXPERIMENT.
SISTER, LISTEN TO ME.
YOU GOT YOUR
RELIGION, I GOT MINE.
I DON'T SHOOT NO CRAPS UNLESS
I GOT A LITTLE SOMETHING GOING.
AND UNDER NO CONDITIONS
AM I GOING TO TANGLE WITH YOU.
GOODBYE, SISTER.
WAIT A MINUTE, OF
ALL THE IMPOSSIBLE...
UH, SENOR, UH, COULD
YOU HELP US OUT HERE?
UH, WE HERE ARE PERFORMING
THIS LITTLE EXPERIMENT
AND WE, UH, KIND OF
NEED A MIDDLEMAN.
HERE YOU GO. ROLL IT.
(Juan) 45. JUST THE
NUMBER I HAD IN MIND.
5 STRAIGHT PASSES,
I'M NOT EVEN WARM YET.
YOU WANT TO CONTINUE?
OF COURSE HE WISHES TO CONTINUE.
AFTER ALL, THIS IS
JUST AN EXPERIMENT.
[Juan blowing dice]
BE NATURAL, DICE. COMIN' OUT.
HELLO, 5.23.
23.23.23.
HELLO, 5.
[Juan exclaiming]
[men chattering]
17 STRAIGHT PASSES.
SISTER, YOU STILL BELIEVE
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS LUCK?
ABSOLUTELY. EVENTUALLY THE LAW
OF PROBABILITY WILL PROVE ITSELF.
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO SNAKE EYES?
COMIN' OUT. COMIN' OUT.
10. A DIFFICULT POINT TO MAKE.
WRONG. AN EASY POINT TO MAKE WHEN
YOU HAVE SISTER LUCKY ON YOUR TEAM.
[Juan speaking Spanish]
THIS IS THE ONE, 5 AND 5.
[men exclaiming] 10 BACK AGAIN.
I GIVE UP.
OH, WELL, I DON'T. THIS
CAN'T GO ON FOREVER.
[policeman whistling]
SISTER, YOU SAID IT.
(Juan) RUN. WHAT?
I SWEAR... SISTER.
OH, HELLO, OFF-OFFICER,
LISTEN, THIS ISN'T
WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.
I WAS JUST TRYING
TO SHOW THAT, UH...
WELL, THAT... THAT MAN
THAT SOONER OR LATER
MY LUCK WOULD RUN OUT.
YOU KNOW WHAT, SISTER? WHAT?
IT JUST DID. IT JUST DID.
AH-HAH.
FATHER GONZAGA LOOKS VERY WELL.
UH, YES. INDEED.
I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR MAKING
THIS EXTRA STOP TO DROP OFF MY BAGS.
OUR PLEASURE, YOUR GRACE.
I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO
SEEING SAN TANCO AGAIN.
IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME
SINCE MY LAST VISIT.
I SUPPOSE IT'S ALL CHANGED.
CHANGED?
NO, I THINK IT'S MUCH THE SAME.
WE TRY TO DO OUR
VERY BEST, YOUR GRACE,
JUST TO KEEP THINGS
FROM CHANGING,
UH, FOR THE WORSE.
A NOT TOO UNUSUAL
PROBLEM, SISTER,
IN OUR WORLD TODAY.
YES, INDEED.
OH, REVEREND MOTHER,
DID I REMEMBER TO
MENTION IN MY LETTER
THAT I WISHED TO
MEET SISTER BERTRILLE?
SISTER BERTRILLE?
DO YOU KNOW HER, YOUR GRACE?
NO.
BUT HER AUNT AND UNCLE ASKED
ME TO BRING THEIR REGARDS.
TO SEE HOW SHE'S PROGRESSING.
SHE IS STILL WITH YOU?
[police siren wailing]
OH, YES. YES, INDEED.
SISTER BERTRILLE IS
ONE OF OUR MOST, UH,
MOST ACTIVE NOVICES.
DEDICATED AND ACTIVE IN
ALL AREAS OF HER VOCATION?
SISTER BERTRILLE SEEMS
TO, UH, GO INTO AREAS
THAT WE HAVE NEVER
THOUGHT OF ENTERING BEFORE.
SOME SISTER LUCKY.
LOOK WHERE IT GOT US.
OH, DON'T FEEL SO BAD, SISTER.
LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.
THE FOOD IS NOT SO
BAD, THE PRICE IS RIGHT.
I STILL FEEL LUCKY.
BESIDES, YOU'RE FREE
TO GO ANY TIME YOU WANT.
EVEN CAPT. LOPEZ HAS ENOUGH
SENSE TO KNOW YOU WEREN'T GAMBLING.
AND NEITHER WERE YOU.
WELL, THAT HE'S
NOT SO SURE ABOUT.
(Carlos) WHAT DO YOU MEAN CAPT.
LOPEZ WILL NOT ALLOW VISITORS?
IF YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW
WASN'T A COMMISSIONER,
YOU'D STILL BE
STUFFING ENCHILADAS.
SENOR, PLEASE.
(Bertrille) CARLOS.
I SEE IT, BUT I DO
NOT BELIEVE IT.
HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS HERE?
MY DEAR SISTER BERTRILLE,
WHEN THE POLICE GRAB A
NUN IN A FLOATING CRAP GAME,
SOMEHOW THE WORD GETS AROUND.
AND YOU CAME ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE
BECAUSE YOU WERE WORRIED ABOUT ME?
OH, CARLOS, IT'S SO
NICE OF YOU TO CARE.
OF COURSE I CARE.
AFTER ALL, YOU'RE ONE
OF MY BEST FRIENDS.
AND YOU, LOCKIN' UP A NUN.
YOU OUGHT TO BE
THROWN IN YOUR OWN JAIL.
SENOR RAMIREZ, PLEASE.
THE GOOD SISTER IS
ABSOLUTELY FREE TO LEAVE.
SHE IS STAYING HERE
AGAINST MY WILL.
I AM NOT HOLDING
HER. I WILL SHOW YOU.
SISTER, EH?
NOW, SHE INSISTS
ON STAYING IN MY JAIL.
WELL, I'VE GOT GOOD
REASONS. THEM.
THEM? THEM.
ME. YOU?
WHY?
WELL, IT'S A LONG STORY. YOU SEE,
JUAN GAVE ME A DOLLAR FOR THE POOR
AND EVER SINCE THEN HE'S
BEEN ON A WINNING STREAK.
THIS LOSER?
THAT'S RIGHT, SPORT.
EVER SINCE SISTER LUCKY CAME
INTO MY LIFE, EVERYTHING IS CHANGED.
WHAT A PITY I CAN'T
ACCOMMODATE YOU.
I WON'T BE IN HERE
FOREVER, MATADOR.
WELL, MY CASINO IS
ALWAYS AT YOUR DISPOSAL,
24 HOURS A DAY.
OH, REALLY?
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
THE WHOLE IDEA IS OUTRAGEOUS.
FOR ONCE I'M FORCED
TO AGREE WITH HIM.
BUT, CARLOS, YOU SAID
YOURSELF YOU COULDN'T LOSE.
YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME SHOW
JUAN THAT I'M NOT HIS LUCKY CHARM.
SISTER, I CAME HERE JUST
TO GET YOU OUT OF JAIL,
NOT TO GET INVOLVED IN
ONE OF YOUR CRAZY SCHEMES.
BUT I CAN'T LEAVE UNTIL I
MAKE JUAN UNDERSTAND.
I PROMISED THE REVEREND MOTHER.
SISTER, PLEASE.
I'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL, CARLOS.
YOU DO THIS FOR
ME AND I'LL LEAVE.
OK. I'LL DO IT.
OH, YOU CANNOT
GAMBLE IN MY JAIL.
BECAUSE IT IS AGAINST
THE... THE... THE... THE LAW.
BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT.
CARLOS IS A
PROFESSIONAL GAMBLER.
HE HAS A LICENSE
TO RUN A CASINO.
BUT THIS IS NOT
A CASINO, SISTER.
YES, BUT, CAPTAIN,
YOU KNOW THE SAYING:
IF MOHAMMED CAN'T GO
TO THE MOUNTAIN... NO.
IT IS IMPOSSIBLE. DEFINITELY NO!
MY BROTHER-IN-LAW
SHOULD ONLY WALK IN NOW...
OH, DON'T WORRY
ABOUT IT, CAPTAIN.
CONTRARY TO APPEARANCES,
YOU'RE ACTUALLY DOING
HUMANITY A GREAT SERVICE.
IF HE WOULD LOOK
AT IT THAT WAY, YES.
(Juan) UH, INCIDENTALLY, UH,
HOW MUCH IS THE BANK?
MORE THAN ENOUGH, MY FRIEND.
I WOULDN'T WORRY IF I WERE YOU.
WELL, SINCE I'M
GOING TO BREAK IT,
I'D LIKE TO KNOW
WHAT I'M SHOOTING FOR.
I WILL LET YOU KNOW WHEN
THE PAIN BECOMES UNBEARABLE.
SOON, I HOPE.
NOW, AHEM, SHALL WE TALK
ABOUT THE COLOR OF YOUR MONEY?
[clearing throat]
ENVELOPE, PLEASE. AH, YES.
MMM-HMM.
ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT
TO GO THROUGH WITH THIS?
DEAL. DEAL. DEAL.
[sighs]
HIT ME.
ALL RIGHT.
20.
(Juan) 21.
♪ [whistling]
[exclaims]
BLACK JACK!
[Juan laughs]
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
YOU COULDN'T LOSE.
IN THE LONG RUN.
WELL, I'M IN KIND OF A HURRY.
AND I, TOO.
PATIENCE.
PATIENCE.
18. DEALER PAYS 19.
AH, 19! YOU MUST HAVE
BEEN READING MY MIND.
[Juan laughs]
PATIENCE. PATIENCE.
AFTER ALL, IN THE LONG RUN...
CARLOS, JUST HOW LONG
IS THIS RUN GONNA BE?
I'M AFRAID WE'LL NEVER KNOW.
THE GAME IS OVER.
THE BANK IS CLOSED.
WHAT?
YOU'VE WON THE LIMIT.
SO RAISE IT, MATADOR.
NOT TODAY, MY FRIEND.
CARLOS... NO, SISTER.
MAY I SPEAK TO YOU FOR
A MOMENT? NO, SISTER.
NO, SISTER. NO, NO, NO, NO.
BUT, CARLOS, IF YOU QUIT NOW,
I'LL NEVER BE ABLE
TO CONVINCE HIM,
AND THE REVEREND
MOTHER WILL FIND OUT.
AND YOU WON'T HAVE
HELPED MATTERS AT ALL,
YOU'D HAVE MADE 'EM WORSE.
I'VE MADE THEM WORSE? YES.
IN THE LONG RUN, AND...
WELL, I KNOW. I KNOW.
WHY CAN'T I LEAD A NICE,
NORMAL, UNCOMPLICATED LIFE?
BEFORE YOU CAME TO SAN
JUAN, MY DAYS WERE CAREFREE,
FILLED WITH ROMANCE AND BEAUTY.
NOW, GONE.
FOR YEARS I RUN A CASINO
WITH GREAT SUCCESS.
NOW YOU COME UP WITH SOME CLOWN
WHO'S ABOUT TO PUT
ME INTO BANKRUPTCY.
BUT, CARLOS, YOU SAID YOU
COULD BEAT HIM... OK, FINE.
I'LL GO BACK TO THAT CELL. BUT
YOU KNOW SOMETHING? WHAT?
I MAY END UP THERE PERMANENTLY.
FOR GAMBLING? NO, FOR MURDER.
[telephone buzzing]
UH, ONE MOMENT, SISTER.
CAPTAIN LOPEZ SPEAKING.
OH, CAPT. LOPEZ, THIS
IS SISTER JACQUELINE.
IS SISTER BERTRILLE
WITH YOU, BY ANY CHANCE?
UNFORTUNATELY, YES, UH,
SISTER JACQUELINE. YES.
UH, WO-WO-WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE
FOR ME TO SPEAK WITH HER?
UH, YES. CERTAINLY, YES.
PLEASE SPEAK TO HER, PLEASE.
HI. EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
YES, OF COURSE.
UH, WE'RE JUST A LITTLE CONCERNED
ABOUT YOUR LONG ABSENCE.
WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU DOING?
TRYING TO DO WHAT THE
REVEREND MOTHER TOLD ME TO DO.
CONVINCE JUAN I'M
NOT HIS LUCKY NUN.
BUT THAT HASN'T BEEN EASY.
I SEE.
SISTER JACQUELINE, IS
SISTER BERTRILLE FREE YET?
NO, I'M AFRAID SHE'S
STILL, UH, TIED UP.
WHEN DO YOU SUPPOSE
SHE'LL BE AT LIBERTY?
SISTER, HOW... HOW SOON DO
YOU THINK YOU'LL BE THROUGH
WITH YOUR ASSIGNMENT?
BISHOP PARNELL IS MOST
ANXIOUS TO SEE YOU.
OH, BOY, I FORGOT ALL ABOUT HIM.
I WOULDN'T.
WELL, THAT'S KIND OF A PROBLEM
CONSIDERING I'M UNDER ARREST.
OR I AM AS LONG AS JUAN
AND THE OTHERS ARE.
I CAN'T VERY WELL JUST WALK
OUT, AND NOW CARLOS IS IN TROUBLE,
AND THINGS HAVE GONE
FROM BAD TO WORSE,
AND I CAN'T VERY WELL BE IN
2 PLACES AT THE SAME TIME.
[whispering] WELL,
YOU'VE DONE IT BEFORE.
I SUGGEST YOU DO IT AGAIN.
RIGHT.
[clearing throat]
SAY, HOW ABOUT SOME FRESH AIR?
THERE IS NO ONE ON DUTY IN
THE EXERCISE YARD AT THIS HOUR.
OH.
ANYONE FOR FOOD?
THE KITCHEN IS CLOSED.
OH.
I DON'T SUPPOSE
ANYONE'S THIRSTY?
WELL, YOU KNOW, SISTER, I COULD
GO FOR SOMETHING TALL AND COLD.
GREAT. I'LL GET
YOU A SOFT DRINK.
WELL, LISTEN, PLEASE
DON'T BE TOO LONG. NO.
YOU WILL FIND A MACHINE
DOWN THE HALL. RIGHT.
[crickets chirruping]
[footsteps pattering]
BOY! SISTER, AM I IN TIME?
HIS GRACE AWAITS WITHIN.
OH, GREAT. OH, SISTER, COULD YOU
PLEASE ROUND UP A COUPLE OF BOTTLES
OF SODA POP FOR ME TO TAKE BACK?
SODA POP? YEAH.
TO TAKE BACK? I... I
THOUGHT YOU WERE PAROLED.
NO, I BUSTED OUT.
BUT IF I DON'T GET BACK,
THINGS WILL BE MUCH WORSE.
ALL RIGHT.
SORRY TO KEEP YOU
WAITING, YOUR GRACE.
SISTER BERTRILLE?
I'M SO GLAD YOU WERE
ABLE TO GET AWAY.
GET AWAY? YES.
REVEREND MOTHER PLACIDO TELLS ME
YOU ARE HER MOST ACTIVE NOVICE.
OH.
I'VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG I'D
ALMOST FORGOTTEN MY MISSION.
YOUR AUNT AND UNCLE ASKED
ME TO LOOK YOU UP ON THIS TRIP,
AND TO GIVE YOU THIS.
OH, THANK YOU, YOUR GRACE.
AND THANK THEM FOR ME AND
GIVE THEM MY FONDEST REGARDS.
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE
ME. BUT, SISTER,
I'D LIKE TO BE ABLE TO TAKE BACK
A LITTLE MORE THAN THAT WITH ME.
YOU MUST TELL ME
ALL ABOUT YOURSELF.
OH. WELL, THERE'S
NOT MUCH TO TELL.
NOW, NOW.
WE MUSTN'T BE TOO HUMBLE.
SIT DOWN, PLEASE.
I... I KNOW HOW PRESSED FOR
TIME YOU MUST BE. I'LL JUST...
I HAVE ALL THE
TIME IN THE WORLD.
PLEASE SIT DOWN, SISTER.
REVEREND MOTHER TELLS ME
THAT YOU'RE VERY HAPPY IN
THE WORK THAT YOU'RE DOING.
THAT REMINDS ME, I'VE GOT...
SISTER, PLEASE, SIT DOWN.
[chattering]
(Bertrille) ...DESPITE
OUR LACK OF FUNDS,
THE CHILDREN HAVE STILL
BEEN ABLE TO BENEFIT
FROM SOME OF THE
NEWEST TEACHING METHODS.
AND SENOR RAMIREZ HAS BEEN
SO GENEROUS... SISTER BERTRILLE.
UH, WE MUST NOT TAKE
UP ALL THE BISHOP'S TIME.
NO. YOU'RE RIGHT, REVEREND
MOTHER. I WAS JUST...
I KNOW THAT YOU HAVE TO
GO BACK BEFORE THEY, UH...
I MEAN TO FINISH
YOUR ASSIGNMENT.
I'M SURE THAT BISHOP
PARNELL WILL EXCUSE YOU.
WELL, I SUPPOSE I MUST.
[men chattering]
HERE YOU ARE, JUAN.
SOMETHING TALL AND COOL.
OH, SISTER, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
GET YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK.
AND WHERE DID YOU GO
FOR IT? THE... THE CONVENT?
LOOK AT THIS.
WIPED OUT, HUH? CLEAN.
WELL, I'M SORRY, JUAN, BUT
MAYBE IT'S FOR THE BEST.
IT JUST PROVES WHAT I'VE
BEEN SAYING THE WHOLE TIME...
NO, SISTER. DON'T YOU SEE IT PROVES
WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING ALL ALONG?
YOU ARE MY LUCKY CHARM.
JUAN, THAT'S NOT TRUE. SISTER,
YOU WEREN'T HERE, SO I LOST.
DON'T YOU SEE NOW?
WAIT A MINUTE.
WHY AM I GETTING EXCITED?
NOW YOU'RE BACK, I CAN'T LOSE.
ALL RIGHT, MATADOR.
LET'S TRY IT NOW WITH
SISTER LUCKY BESIDE ME.
WITH WHAT, MY FRIEND?
I SEE NO CHIPS IN FRONT OF YOU.
UH, UH, TAKE... TAKE MY MARKER.
NO I.O.U.s ARE YOU AFRAID?
ME? AFRAID OF YOU?
BUT YOU PEOPLE NEVER LEARN.
WELL, I THINK YOU'VE ALREADY
TAKEN ENOUGH OF MY TIME.
OH, YOU... YOU SEE THAT,
SISTER. HE'S RUNNING SCARED.
HE KNOWS HE CAN'T BEAT US.
CARLOS,
PLEASE?
OK.
I'LL TAKE YOUR MARKER.
A PENCIL AND A PAPER, PLEASE.
WHAT WILL IT BE?
WELL, SINCE YOU'RE
IN SUCH A HURRY,
LET'S MAKE IT FAST
AND EASY FOR YOU.
UH, HIGH CARD.
HIGH CARD IT IS THEN.
ONCE MORE.
OK.
WAIT, WAIT, LET ME SEE YOURS.
ENOUGH, MY FRIEND?
JUAN, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO DO IT ANYMORE.
SISTER, JUST STAY
BESIDE ME. ONCE MORE.
UH, DOUBLE OR NOTHING.
DOUBLE OR NOTHING.
[grunts]
WELL, I'M SO GLAD THIS
IS FINALLY OVER WITH,
AND YOU CAN GET THIS SISTER
LUCKY NONSENSE OUT OF YOUR HEAD.
SISTER, MAYBE YOU CAN
GET IT OUT OF YOUR HEAD,
BUT, UH, I THINK IT'S
GOING TO BE A LONG TIME
BEFORE SENOR RAMIREZ
AND I CAN FORGET ABOUT IT.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WHAT I MEAN IS
MY MARKER IS WORTHLESS.
OH, NO.
CARLOS, I'M SO SORRY.
I HONESTLY DIDN'T...
DON'T SAY ANYTHING.
NOT A WORD. NOT...
NOT... NOT A WORD.
[sighs]
I KNEW IT. I JUST KNEW IT.
WHAT IS THIS?
SOME NEW KIND OF CHARITY
YOU WANT ME TO CONTRIBUTE TO?
OH, CARLOS, I'M SO
SORRY, IT'S ALL MY FAULT,
BUT IF YOU COULD JUST
GIVE US A LITTLE BIT OF TIME...
TIME? YEAH.
$600 WORTH OF TIME?
WHAT IS THIS?
IS HE ASKING TO GAMBLE ON CARLOS
RAMIREZ'S EASY 5-YEAR LAY-AWAY PLAN?
NO, SISTER. THAT'S
OUT OF THE QUESTION.
MY LAWYERS WILL
TAKE CARE OF THIS.
YOUR LAWYERS? HMM.
OH, WHAT CAN THEY DO?
PUT HIM IN JAIL?
HE'S ALREADY HERE.
CAN THEY GET YOU YOUR MONEY? NO.
AND IT'LL PROBABLY END
UP COSTING YOU A LOT MORE.
OH, CARLOS, I KNOW
WHAT JUAN DID WAS WRONG
AND I GUESS HE KNOWS THAT, TOO.
BUT YOU KNOW SOMETHING?
YOU COULD SOLVE 2
PROBLEMS AT ONCE.
ALL RIGHT. NOW, HOW
DO YOU PROPOSE THAT?
PUT JUAN TO WORK IN YOUR CASINO.
[snickering] IN MY CASINO?
YES. THAT WAY HE COULD
WORK OFF HIS ZEST FOR GAMBLING
AND PAY OFF THE
DEBT AT THE SAME TIME.
YOU KNOW, SISTER, I THINK
YOU HAVE A POINT THERE.
ME, TOO.
THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I
GET THE MONEY HE OWES ME.
WELL, THEN IT'S SET?
LET'S SHAKE ON IT.
[chuckles]
MAYBE I'M LUCKY FOR
YOU AFTER ALL, JUAN.
YES, SISTER LUCKY. I'M
VERY GRATEFUL TO YOU,
BUT LET'S GET ONE
THING STRAIGHT.
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS LUCK.
IT'S ALL A QUESTION
OF MATHEMATICS.
YEAH, YOU CAN MAKE BOOK ON THAT.