The Flying Nun (1967–1970): Season 1, Episode 23 - The Sister and the Old Salt - full transcript
Sister Bertrille meets Captain Otis Barnaby while he's working on his small boat, which he plans to sail to Miami. Captain Barnaby is as stereotypical an old seafaring captain as one could imagine. However looks can be deceiving. The stories he tells the sisters and the kids at the convent of his seafaring days are all tales of fancy as Otis Barnaby is no captain and is as much of a landlubber as one can be having lived his entire life in Lincoln Nebraska. Conrad, his son, wants Sister Bertrille to persuade Otis not to make the dangerous voyage. Nothing will dissuade him and he sets sail for Miami. A storm sets in and all at the convent are worried for his safety. He radios the convent. He is weak and without supplies - they went overboard - but his pride refuses to let them call in the Coast Gurad to rescue him. Armed with the necessary supplies, Sister Bertrille takes flight when the weather clears to find Otis at sea. She locates him. He thinks that she's a figment of his imagination. Once she sees that he's OK, she takes off once again to leave him to continue his voyage on his own. When Otis radios in to Conrad that he had a visit from "Sister Figment", Conrad promptly calls in the Coast Guard to save his obviously sick father. Sister Bertrille tries to convince Conrad to call off the Coast Guard, that his father isn't crazy, that Otis will finish his dream trip to Miami and that it really was her out at the boat. The statistician Conrad isn't convinced until Sister Bertrille gives him a flying demonstration. He ends up calling off the Coast Guard and Otis safely makes it to Miami.
[barking]
[seagulls cawing]
(Jacqueline) CAPTAIN
OTIS BARNABY
CAME INTO OUR LIVES
ONE SUNNY AFTERNOON
A FEW WEEKS AGO.
HE LOOKED AND TALKED AS IF
HE HAD STEPPED RIGHT OUT OF
EVERY SEAFARING
STORY EVER WRITTEN.
AHOY.
WELL, AHOY THERE.
I'M CAPTAIN OTIS BARNABY,
MASTER AND OWNER OF THIS VESSEL.
YOU THE SKIPPER OF THAT CREW?
YES, UH.
I'M SISTER BERTRILLE AND THESE ARE
THE CHILDREN OF THE CONVENT SAN TANCO.
[chuckles]
WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME ABOARD?
[children chattering]
WELL, I... I THINK WE WOULD,
EXCEPT YOU LOOK LIKE
YOU'VE A LOT OF WORK TO DO.
THAT'S WHY I'M GONNA
SHANGHAI THE LOT OF YOU.
COME ON, SHIPMATES.
COME ABOARD HERE.
THAT'S IT, TAKE IT EASY NOW, I DON'T
WANT YOU FALLING IN THE WATER.
THAT'S THE WAY.
AH, WHAT A CREW I'VE GOT HERE.
THAT'S RIGHT, MY
LAD, SLAP IT ON GOOD.
[chuckles]
50 YEARS AT SEA,
AND I NEVER SAILED
WITH BETTER SHIPMATES.
THAT'S A GREAT CREW
YOU GOT THERE, SISTER.
I THINK SO.
WHAT'S THE NAME OF
YOUR BOAT, CAPTAIN?
WELL, I AIN'T NAMED HER YET.
UH, SHE SAILED UNDER
THE NAME OF THE PELICAN,
UNTIL I BOUGHT HER 3 WEEKS AGO.
I AIM TO RE-CHRISTEN HER AS SOON
AS I'VE TURNED HER BACK INTO A LADY.
AND THEN WHAT?
THEN I SAIL TO MIAMI.
MIAMI, FLORIDA?
THE SAME.
CAPTAIN, YOU'RE GOING TO SAIL OVER
A THOUSAND MILES IN THIS LITTLE BOAT?
SISTER,
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE
TO AIM FOR THE STARS.
CAPTAIN, THEY MAY BE
EASIER TO REACH THAN MIAMI.
NOT IF YOU'RE
CAPTAIN OTIS BARNABY,
AND YOU'VE SAILED
AROUND THE HORN
MORE TIMES THAN
YOU CAN REMEMBER.
[chuckles]
I WANT TO TELL YOU
THERE'S NOTHING LIKE IT.
YOU'RE ALL ALONE,
THE MASTER OF YOUR OWN DESTINY,
FREE AS A CLOUD,
AND THE WIND AND THE
SPRAY BLOWING IN YOUR FACE,
AND THE SMELL OF THE
SEA IN YOUR NOSTRILS.
[inhaling]
YOU FEEL LIKE A BIRD,
SKIMMING OVER THE WAVES,
SOARING THROUGH THE
SKY AWAY FROM EVERYTHING.
[Captain Otis
chuckles] YOU KNOW,
JUST THINKING ABOUT IT
MAKES YOUR BLOOD STIR
AND YOUR PULSES POUND.
I KNOW THE FEELING.
YOU KNOW SOMETHING, SISTER?
I BELIEVE YOU DO.
(Jacqueline) AND AT THAT MOMENT,
CAPTAIN BARNABY AND
SISTER BERTRILLE REALIZED
THEY WERE KINDRED SPIRITS.
WHAT SISTER
BERTRILLE DIDN'T REALIZE
WAS THAT THIS WAS
TO BE THE START
OF THE MOST EXTRAORDINARY
ADVENTURE OF HER YOUNG LIFE.
(Jacqueline) DURING THE
DAYS THAT FOLLOWED,
THE CAPTAIN BECAME
A REGULAR VISITOR
TO THE CONVENT SAN TANCO.
THE CHILDREN CAME TO ADORE HIM
AS EACH DAY HE BROUGHT
THE LURE OF THE SEA
AND EXCITING TALES OF
TALL SHIPS AND HEROIC DEEDS
INTO THEIR STUFFY
LITTLE CLASSROOM.
AND THERE WE WERE, MATIES,
FIGHTING FOR OUR LIVES IN A GALE
THAT HAD BEEN HOWLING
AT US FOR 24 HOURS.
GIANT HAILSTONES,
SEAS 40 FEET HIGH,
THE WIND BLOWING 70 KNOTS,
THE WHEEL LASHED,
BUT THE SHIP WAS
ROLLING SO BADLY
THAT THE PUMPS WEREN'T WORKING.
SUDDENLY, THERE'S A CRACK.
AND THE SKIPPER TURNS
TO ME AND SCREAMS,
"THE TOPSAIL'S BROKE
LOOSE. GO ALOFT AND FURL IT!"
AND THERE I WAS,
100 FEET ABOVE DECK,
AND THE SEA GONE
MAD, CLINGING TO A MAST
THAT WAS SPLITTING THE
SKY WITH AN 80 DEGREE ARC.
[exclaims]
(Jacqueline) THEN ONE MORNING,
A FEW DAYS BEFORE HE WAS
DUE TO SET SAIL IN HIS LITTLE BOAT,
SISTER BERTRILLE DISCOVERED
THE CAPTAIN IN THE CLASSROOM.
CAPTAIN BARNABY, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE SO EARLY?
OH, I'M INSTALLING A RADIO.
A RADIO? YEAH.
I MADE IT MYSELF.
THIS WAY I'LL BE ABLE TO
TALK TO YOU AND THE CHILDREN
DURING THE VOYAGE.
OH, NOW, AND... AND SEE HERE.
I, UH, I PINNED THIS MAP UP.
NOW YOU'LL BE ABLE TO
CHART MY COURSE EVERY DAY.
I... I... I THOUGHT THE
CHILDREN WOULD ENJOY THAT.
OH, I'M SURE THEY WILL,
BUT IS THIS GOING TO BE YOUR
ONLY CONTACT WITH LAND?
IT'S THE ONLY CONTACT I WANT.
OH, BUT CAPTAIN... SISTER,
EVERY SAILOR HAS
A FAVORITE PORT.
MINE'S THE CONVENT SAN TANCO.
PERMISSION GRANTED?
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.
(Jacqueline) THAT AFTERNOON
THE BOMBSHELL EXPLODED.
SISTER BERTRILLE, THERE'S A
MR. CONRAD BARNABY TO SEE YOU.
CONRAD BARNABY?
IS HE A RELATIVE
OF THE CAPTAIN'S?
IT'S HIS SON.
WHY, HE NEVER
MENTIONED HAVING A SON.
UH, CLASS, CONTINUE
YOUR READING.
UH, MR. BARNABY?
OH, YES.
UH, SISTER, LOOK, I DON'T
BELIEVE IN WASTING TIME,
SO I'D LIKE TO GET
RIGHT TO THE POINT.
THE CHANCES OF MY FATHER
SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETING THIS VOYAGE ARE,
EXCUSE ME,
46,754 TO 1.
YOU WORKED IT OUT?
I'M A STATISTICIAN.
I WANT YOU TO DISSUADE MY FATHER
FROM THIS RIDICULOUS VOYAGE.
MR. BARNABY, IT'S
NOT RIDICULOUS TO HIM.
UH, I KNOW IT'S RISKY,
BUT AFTER ALL, HE IS
AN EXPERIENCED SEAMAN.
SISTER,
MY FATHER HADN'T EVEN SEEN
THE OCEAN UNTIL 6 WEEKS AGO.
WHAT?
HE SPENT ALL OF HIS
LIFE IN LINCOLN, NEBRASKA
AS AN INSURANCE SALESMAN.
BUT... BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
HE... HE LOOKS AND
SOUNDS SO NAUTICAL.
HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A
BEARD UNTIL 5 WEEKS AGO.
MAYBE YOU'D BETTER EXPLAIN
THE WHOLE STORY TO ME.
ALL RIGHT.
2 YEARS AGO, THE
COMPANY THAT EMPLOYS ME
TRANSFERRED ME HERE TO SAN JUAN.
CAN I COME ABOARD?
WELL, AHOY THERE, SISTER.
SURE YOU CAN COME
ABOARD. THANKS.
EVERYTHING'S ALL SQUARED AWAY AND
SHIPSHAPE FOR THE VOYAGE TOMORROW.
IT'S A GREAT FEELING TO HAVE A
GOOD SHIP UNDER YOUR FEET AGAIN.
AND MORE INTERESTING THAN
THE INSURANCE BUSINESS, HUH?
THE DRIED PRUNE
WAS IN TO SEE YOU.
CONRAD TOLD ME THE WHOLE STORY.
OH.
WHY'D YOU LIE TO
US, CAPTAIN BARNABY?
WELL, THEY WEREN'T
MEAN LIES, WERE THEY, GAL?
NO, NOT MEAN, JUST
HARD TO UNDERSTAND.
WELL, WHEN YOU'VE HAD
A DREAM A LONG TIME,
YOU START TO BELIEVE IT'S TRUE.
AND ALL MY LIFE I DREAMED OF
BEING CAPTAIN OF A SAILING SHIP.
SO YOU SETTLED FOR BEING
AN INSURANCE SALESMAN.
SETTLED IS RIGHT.
OH, IT WASN'T A BAD LIFE,
JUST DULL LIKE THOUSANDS
OF OTHERS, I SUPPOSE.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT YOUR SON?
YES, WHAT ABOUT MY SON?
YOU KNOW THAT
BOY HAS A LIFE PLAN?
LIFE PLAN? SURE.
HE HAS A CHART UP ON THE WALL.
GRADUATE SCHOOL
AT A CERTAIN DATE,
MAKE VICE PRESIDENT
AT A CERTAIN DATE,
GET MARRIED AT 35, HAVE 3
POINT 7 CHILDREN, I GUESS.
AND HAS HE KEPT TO HIS PLAN?
OF COURSE.
AND WHEN HE FIRST CAME HERE,
HE MET THIS GIRL CALLED MARIA.
I HAD HOPES THAT HE'D MARRY HER
AND SCUTTLE THE WHOLE SHEBANG.
BUT HE EVEN RESISTED
THAT TEMPTATION.
YOU MIGHT SAY MY
SON LOVES WISELY,
BUT NOT TOO WELL.
WHY DIDN'T HE WANNA MARRY HER?
WELL, SHE'S A WIDOW,
SHE'S 3 YEARS OLDER
THAN HIM, SHE'S GOT 4 KIDS.
IT'S NOT LOGICAL FOR
HIM TO MARRY HER.
YOU SEE, CONRAD
BELIEVES IN LOGIC, SISTER.
LET'S GO BELOW, I'VE
GOT SOME COFFEE GOING.
OH, GREAT.
[cups rattle]
UH, TELL ME, MR. BARNABY,
DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOGIC?
WELL, THERE'S LOTS OF THINGS
IN THIS WORLD AREN'T LOGICAL.
SOME THINGS YOU JUST
HAVE TO TAKE ON FAITH.
I KNOW.
WELL, I GUESS YOU DO.
ALL MY LIFE I'VE BEEN LOGICAL,
BUT NOW I'VE
FINALLY OUTGROWN IT.
BUT THIS VOYAGE, YOU DON'T
KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE SEA.
THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG.
I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THE SEA.
I HAD THE BEST
TEACHERS IN THE WORLD.
WHO?
MELVILLE, CONRAD,
BLIGH, COOK, STEVENSON.
I'VE READ EVERY WORD
EVER PRINTED ABOUT SAILING.
MR. BARNABY, READING CAN
ONLY TEACH YOU SO MUCH.
I HAVEN'T ONLY READ, SISTER.
ALL MY LIFE I'VE TAKEN
COURSES IN NAVIGATION,
I'VE STUDIED DESIGN,
I'VE BUILT MODELS,
I CAN USE A SEXTANT AND
I CAN CHART A COURSE.
SO YOU SEE, SISTER, I'M
NOT A COMPLETE OLD FAKE.
BUT WHY TAKE SUCH A
DANGEROUS VOYAGE?
SISTER, I'M 68 YEARS OLD
AND I'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING
THAT I COULD POINT
TO WITH ANY PRIDE.
WORSE STILL, I
HAVEN'T EVEN TRIED.
I JUST LIVED WITH A DREAM
THAT FINALLY WENT COLD.
NOW, I'VE GOT ONE LAST
CHANCE TO REKINDLE THAT DREAM.
AND IF I DON'T DO IT,
I'M NOT GONNA BE MUCH
GOOD FOR ANYTHING.
BON VOYAGE, CAPTAIN.
THANK YOU.
I HEREBY CHRISTEN THIS
SHIP SISTER BERTRILLE.
[people cheering]
AH, THANK YOU, SISTER.
I'LL TRY TO MAKE HER
LIVE UP TO HER NAME.
OH, IT WAS MY HONOR.
WELL, I WANTED TO NAME HER
AFTER A LADY OF SPIRIT AND GRACE.
THE SISTERS HAVE PACKED
ALL YOUR SUPPLIES, CAPTAIN.
THERE'S EVERYTHING IN
HERE FROM SOUP TO BOLTS.
NUTS, SISTER.
OH, THERE'S, THAT'S...
THAT'S IN HERE TOO.
AND ORANGES TO
KEEP AWAY THE SCURVY.
WELL, UH, THANK YOU, SISTERS.
I'M SURE IT WILL
ALL BE DELICIOUS.
ALL RIGHT, ME MATIES,
LET'S GET THIS CHOW ABOARD.
NO SIGN OF THE DRIED PRUNE, HUH?
I'M AFRAID NOT, CAPTAIN.
I TRIED TO EXPLAIN
TO HIM HOW YOU FELT,
BUT I JUST COULDN'T GET THROUGH.
WELL, NO MATTER.
I... I DIDN'T EXPECT HIM
ANYWAY, NO MATTER.
NELSON COULDN'T ASK
FOR A BETTER SENDOFF.
EVERYTHING SHIPSHAPE
THERE, SISTER?
THE CHILDREN WOULD LIKE
TO SAY GOODBYE, CAPTAIN.
WELL, OF COURSE.
I WOULDN'T SAIL AWAY
WITHOUT A FAREWELL
TO THE BEST
SHIPMATES I EVER HAD.
DOESN'T HIS SON EVEN CARE
ENOUGH TO SAY GOODBYE?
MAYBE HE CARES TOO MUCH.
WELL, WHAT'S KEEPING
HIM AWAY? PRIDE?
YEAH. THE WRONG KIND.
WELL, GOODBYE,
SISTER JACQUELINE.
GOODBYE, CAPTAIN.
GOODBYE, GAL.
SMOOTH SAILING, CAPTAIN.
[seagulls cawing]
GOODBYE, SISTER ANA.
GOODBYE, SISTER SIXTO.
[engine starts]
CAST OFF!
WELL, IT'S UP TO
THE CAPTAIN NOW.
THERE'S NOTHING MORE WE CAN DO.
EXCEPT PRAY FOR FAIR WEATHER.
[thunder cracking]
[wind howling]
[radio whining]
[wind howling]
YOU MUST EAT SOMETHING, SISTER.
I KNOW YOU'RE WORRIED,
BUT STARVING YOURSELF
ISN'T GOING TO HELP.
NO. I SUPPOSE NOT.
IT'S NO WONDER SHE LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING THE
CAT DRAGGED THROUGH THE FENCE BACKWARDS.
ALL DAY LONG SHE SITS BY THE
RADIO LISTENING TO NOTHING.
NO WORD AT ALL? NO.
SISTER BERTRILLE.
SISTER BERTRILLE.
CAPTAIN BARNABY. THE
CAPTAIN IS ON THE RADIO.
OH!
HERE'S SISTER
BERTRILLE NOW, CAPTAIN.
HE SOUNDS VERY WEAK.
UH, UH, CAPTAIN BARNABY, WHAT
HAPPENED? ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
WE'RE RIDING OUT THE TAIL
END OF THE STORM NOW, GAL,
BUT THINGS ARE PRETTY
MUCH OF A SHAMBLES.
THE AUXILIARY'S
GONE, I LOST THE JIB.
THAT GALE CAME OUT
OF NOWHERE AND HIT US
BEFORE I HAD A
CHANCE TO FURL HER.
WELL, HAVE YOU GOT A SPARE?
(Captain) SURE.
I'LL GET HER UP AS SOON
AS I CATCH ME A FISH.
CATCH YOU A FISH? WHAT
HAPPENED TO YOUR SUPPLIES?
DAVEY JONES LOCKER.
BUT DON'T WORRY.
I'LL CATCH SOMETHING.
CAPTAIN, WE'LL SEND OUT THE
COASTGUARD TO PICK YOU UP.
I SAID I LOST ME SUPPLIES,
GAL, NOT ME PRIDE.
NOW DON'T BE STUBBORN.
GIVE US YOUR POSITION.
I HAVEN'T THE FOGGIEST,
AND IF I DID, I WOULDN'T
GIVE IT TO YOU.
LOOK, STOP FEELING SORRY FOR ME.
I WOULDN'T HAVE MISSED
THIS TRIP FOR ALL THE WORLD.
I'M WHERE I'VE ALWAYS BEEN...
CAPTAIN BARNABY?
CAPTAIN BARNABY!
THE RADIO'S GONE DEAD.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
UH, GO PACK SOME SUPPLIES.
AND FIND ME SOME
SPARE RADIO PARTS.
RADIO PARTS?
I'M GONNA TRY AND FIND HIM.
(Jacqueline) WITH FAIR WEATHER,
AND ARMED WITH FRESH SUPPLIES,
SISTER BERTRILLE'S
OPERATION AIRLIFT BEGAN.
[wind blowing]
[snoring]
[ship creaking]
[continues snoring]
SISTER BERTRILLE.
WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
ME WINGS.
YOUR WINGS?
I, UH, THOUGHT I MIGHT BE DEAD.
NO, CAPTAIN, I'M AFRAID
YOU'RE NOT DEAD.
I'M HAVING A HALLUCINATION.
AND YOU ARE A FIGMENT
OF MY IMAGINATION.
MIND YOU, YOU, UH...
YOU LOOK P-PRETTY
SOLID FOR A FIGMENT.
THANKS.
AH, IT... IT... IT ALL FITS.
I'M GROGGY, THE
STORM, NOTHING TO EAT.
BUT WHY HAVEN'T YOU EATEN?
NO FOOD.
WHAT'S THAT?
BUT I... I... I LOST
ALL ME SUPPLIES.
HOW DID THIS GET HERE?
I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE THE
SISTERS PACKED 2 SETS OF SUPPLIES.
WELL, AT LEAST YOU COULD
TALK TO ME WHILE I'M EATING.
DO FIGMENTS EAT?
WELL, I CAN DO ANYTHING
YOU WANT ME TO DO.
DO YOU PLAY GIN? DO YOU?
SURE.
THEN SO DO I.
LET'S GO BELOW.
HOLD IT. NOW.
[thudding]
[whistling]
GIN.
WAIT A MINUTE.
IF YOU'RE A FIGMENT
OF MY IMAGINATION,
HOW COME YOU'RE BEATING ME?
I DON'T KNOW. IT'S THE FIRST
TIME I'VE EVER BEEN A FIGMENT.
WELL, ANYWAY,
YOU'RE GOOD COMPANY.
I'LL BE SORRY TO
SEE YOU DISAPPEAR.
YOU KNOW, IT'S A PITY THAT
YOUR RADIO BROKE DOWN.
CAN'T YOU FIX IT?
WELL, I DON'T
THINK IT'S ANY USE.
I'VE TORN IT APART, BUT I
HAVEN'T FOUND THE TROUBLE YET.
OH. UH, BUT YOU ARE GOING TO PUT IT
BACK TOGETHER AND TRY IT AGAIN, HUH?
OH, SURE, BUT I DON'T
HOLD OUT MUCH HOPE.
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
FINE, FINE,
A LITTLE WEAK, BUT FINE.
DOES THAT MEAN
YOU'LL BE LEAVING?
WELL, YOU DON'T NEED ME ANYMORE.
SAY, C-C-COULD I ASK
YOU O-ONE LAST QUESTION?
WHY DID YOU APPEAR IN THE
FORM OF SISTER BERTRILLE?
WHY DO YOU THINK?
WELL, I GUESS
BECAUSE SHE'S ABOUT
THE BEST FRIEND I EVER HAD.
SMOOTH SAILING, CAPTAIN.
[sighs]
[wind blowing]
WELL, I SUPPOSE THAT'S
THE WAY FIGMENTS ARE,
HERE TODAY AND GONE TOMORROW.
[laughs]
DAD, ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT?
(Captain) COULDN'T BE BETTER.
NOT EVEN LONELY.
HAD LOTS OF COMPANY.
COMPANY? WHAT... WHAT COMPANY?
SISTER FIGMENT.
SISTER WHO?
[Captain Otis laughs]
THAT'S JUST MY LITTLE JOKE, SON.
YOU SEE, THIS FIGMENT
DROPPED IN ON ME.
AND THE DARNDEST THING, SHE LOOKS
JUST LIKE THAT LITTLE SISTER BERTRILLE,
BACK AT THE CONVENT THERE.
HAD QUITE A
CONVERSATION WITH HER.
DAD, LOOK... LOOK, LET
ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
YOU... YOU THINK YOU
HAD A... A VISIT FROM A NUN?
THAT I DID.
BEAT ME AT GIN TOO.
OF COURSE, IT'S ALL IN THE MIND,
BUT SHE LOOKED AS
REAL AS ANYTHING.
AS A MATTER OF FACT,
I'M TRYING TO
CONJURE HER UP AGAIN.
DAD, NOW JUST...
JUST RELAX, EVERYTHING'S
GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.
OF COURSE IT IS. I'M
GONNA MAKE IT, SON.
WITHOUT ANY HELP FROM
ANYBODY BUT MY FIGMENT.
FIGMENT.
GOT TO SIGN OFF NOW, SON.
GIVE MY LOVE TO THE
CHILDREN AND THE SISTERS.
I'LL GET BACK TO YOU TOMORROW.
WELL, THAT SETTLES THAT.
SETTLES WHAT, MR. BARNABY?
I'M GONNA GET THE COAST GUARD
AND PULL HIM OUT OF
THERE, OF COURSE. BUT WHY?
WHY? MY FATHER'S
OBVIOUSLY LOST HIS SENSES.
[inaudible]
[alarm beeping]
HE DID WHAT?
NOTHING I COULD
SAY WOULD STOP HIM.
BUT THEY CAN'T PULL HIM OUT. HE'S
GONNA MAKE IT. WHERE IS MR. BARNABY?
HE'S IN THE REVEREND
MOTHER'S OFFICE
WAITING TO HEAR
FROM THE COAST GUARD.
COME ON. WE'RE GONNA
TELL HIM THE TRUTH.
YOU CAN DO WHAT?
FLY. THAT'S HOW I GOT
TO THE BOAT TODAY.
DO YOU EXPECT ME
TO BELIEVE THAT?
WELL, WE FIGURED IT WAS A LONG
SHOT, BUT WE WERE DESPERATE.
WE?
YOU MEAN YOU BELIEVE
SHE CAN FLY TOO?
OF COURSE. SHE'S SISTER FIGMENT.
YOU SEE, MR. BARNABY,
WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.
WE WANT YOU TO CALL THE
COAST GUARD AND TELL THEM.
THAT YOU CAN FLY?
OH, NO. WE TELL VERY
FEW PEOPLE ABOUT THAT.
YES. THAT I CAN UNDERSTAND.
YOU SEE, THE REVEREND MOTHER ISN'T
TOO CRAZY TO HAVE THAT NOISED AROUND.
SO, WE WANT YOU TO
CALL THE COAST GUARD
AND TELL THEM THAT YOU'VE RECEIVED
INFORMATION THAT YOUR FATHER'S OK,
AND TELL THEM TO
CALL OFF THE SEARCH.
HERE'S THE PHONE, MR. BARNABY.
NO.
SISTERS, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE,
BUT I KNOW THAT IT'S ILLOGICAL
TO BELIEVE THAT ANYBODY CAN FLY.
[phone rings]
YES.
SPEAKING. YEAH... THEY HAVE?
ONE OF THE PLANES
HAS SPOTTED HIM.
HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE FOR ONE
OF YOUR BOATS TO REACH HIM?
NOW, I... I WANNA WARN YOU THAT MY
FATHER MIGHT PROTEST THIS RESCUE.
YOU MUST UNDERSTAND
THAT HE'S JUST UNDERGONE
A VERY SEVERE EMOTIONAL...
EXCUSE ME FOR JUST A MOMENT.
SHE REALLY CAN FLY.
SEEING IS BELIEVING.
HOW... HOW DOES SHE DO THAT?
WELL, SHE DOESN'T REALLY KNOW.
SHE DOESN'T KNOW?
MR. BARNABY,
NOT EVERYTHING
IN LIFE IS LOGICAL.
[man chatters]
YES, YES, I-I'M...
I'M STILL HERE.
UH, CAPTAIN,
I'D LIKE TO MAKE WHAT MAY SEEM
TO BE A SURPRISING REQUEST.
(Jacqueline) AND SO THE
GOOD SHIP SISTER BERTRILLE
HELD FIRM TO ITS
COURSE. NEXT STOP: MIAMI.
[seagulls cawing]
WELL, MATIES, THERE I WAS,
10 MILES OUT OF MIAMI
WITH A FAIR WIND AND
SMOOTH SAILING AHEAD.
BUT SUDDENLY THE SEA
ERUPTS LIKE A VOLCANO.
[exclaims]
AND I LOOK UP AND
THERE'S A WHALE
AS BIG AS A HOUSE NOT
5 FEET FROM THE BOW.
DAD TELLING STORIES AGAIN?
UH-HUH. YOU DON'T MIND?
NO, WHY SHOULD I?
SOME OF THIS ONE'S TRUE.
BESIDES, UH,
I GUESS HE'S ENTITLED TO
TELL THEM WHATEVER HE WANTS.
THEY'RE HIS GRANDCHILDREN.
HIS GRANDCHILDREN?
I BECAME THE FATHER
OF 4 2 WEEKS AGO
WHEN I MARRIED MARIA.
[stutters]
CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU NEEDN'T LOOK
SO SURPRISED, SISTER.
YOU KNOW THERE'S
SOME THINGS IN LIFE
THAT JUST AREN'T LOGICAL.
[seagulls cawing]
(Jacqueline) CAPTAIN
OTIS BARNABY
CAME INTO OUR LIVES
ONE SUNNY AFTERNOON
A FEW WEEKS AGO.
HE LOOKED AND TALKED AS IF
HE HAD STEPPED RIGHT OUT OF
EVERY SEAFARING
STORY EVER WRITTEN.
AHOY.
WELL, AHOY THERE.
I'M CAPTAIN OTIS BARNABY,
MASTER AND OWNER OF THIS VESSEL.
YOU THE SKIPPER OF THAT CREW?
YES, UH.
I'M SISTER BERTRILLE AND THESE ARE
THE CHILDREN OF THE CONVENT SAN TANCO.
[chuckles]
WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME ABOARD?
[children chattering]
WELL, I... I THINK WE WOULD,
EXCEPT YOU LOOK LIKE
YOU'VE A LOT OF WORK TO DO.
THAT'S WHY I'M GONNA
SHANGHAI THE LOT OF YOU.
COME ON, SHIPMATES.
COME ABOARD HERE.
THAT'S IT, TAKE IT EASY NOW, I DON'T
WANT YOU FALLING IN THE WATER.
THAT'S THE WAY.
AH, WHAT A CREW I'VE GOT HERE.
THAT'S RIGHT, MY
LAD, SLAP IT ON GOOD.
[chuckles]
50 YEARS AT SEA,
AND I NEVER SAILED
WITH BETTER SHIPMATES.
THAT'S A GREAT CREW
YOU GOT THERE, SISTER.
I THINK SO.
WHAT'S THE NAME OF
YOUR BOAT, CAPTAIN?
WELL, I AIN'T NAMED HER YET.
UH, SHE SAILED UNDER
THE NAME OF THE PELICAN,
UNTIL I BOUGHT HER 3 WEEKS AGO.
I AIM TO RE-CHRISTEN HER AS SOON
AS I'VE TURNED HER BACK INTO A LADY.
AND THEN WHAT?
THEN I SAIL TO MIAMI.
MIAMI, FLORIDA?
THE SAME.
CAPTAIN, YOU'RE GOING TO SAIL OVER
A THOUSAND MILES IN THIS LITTLE BOAT?
SISTER,
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE
TO AIM FOR THE STARS.
CAPTAIN, THEY MAY BE
EASIER TO REACH THAN MIAMI.
NOT IF YOU'RE
CAPTAIN OTIS BARNABY,
AND YOU'VE SAILED
AROUND THE HORN
MORE TIMES THAN
YOU CAN REMEMBER.
[chuckles]
I WANT TO TELL YOU
THERE'S NOTHING LIKE IT.
YOU'RE ALL ALONE,
THE MASTER OF YOUR OWN DESTINY,
FREE AS A CLOUD,
AND THE WIND AND THE
SPRAY BLOWING IN YOUR FACE,
AND THE SMELL OF THE
SEA IN YOUR NOSTRILS.
[inhaling]
YOU FEEL LIKE A BIRD,
SKIMMING OVER THE WAVES,
SOARING THROUGH THE
SKY AWAY FROM EVERYTHING.
[Captain Otis
chuckles] YOU KNOW,
JUST THINKING ABOUT IT
MAKES YOUR BLOOD STIR
AND YOUR PULSES POUND.
I KNOW THE FEELING.
YOU KNOW SOMETHING, SISTER?
I BELIEVE YOU DO.
(Jacqueline) AND AT THAT MOMENT,
CAPTAIN BARNABY AND
SISTER BERTRILLE REALIZED
THEY WERE KINDRED SPIRITS.
WHAT SISTER
BERTRILLE DIDN'T REALIZE
WAS THAT THIS WAS
TO BE THE START
OF THE MOST EXTRAORDINARY
ADVENTURE OF HER YOUNG LIFE.
(Jacqueline) DURING THE
DAYS THAT FOLLOWED,
THE CAPTAIN BECAME
A REGULAR VISITOR
TO THE CONVENT SAN TANCO.
THE CHILDREN CAME TO ADORE HIM
AS EACH DAY HE BROUGHT
THE LURE OF THE SEA
AND EXCITING TALES OF
TALL SHIPS AND HEROIC DEEDS
INTO THEIR STUFFY
LITTLE CLASSROOM.
AND THERE WE WERE, MATIES,
FIGHTING FOR OUR LIVES IN A GALE
THAT HAD BEEN HOWLING
AT US FOR 24 HOURS.
GIANT HAILSTONES,
SEAS 40 FEET HIGH,
THE WIND BLOWING 70 KNOTS,
THE WHEEL LASHED,
BUT THE SHIP WAS
ROLLING SO BADLY
THAT THE PUMPS WEREN'T WORKING.
SUDDENLY, THERE'S A CRACK.
AND THE SKIPPER TURNS
TO ME AND SCREAMS,
"THE TOPSAIL'S BROKE
LOOSE. GO ALOFT AND FURL IT!"
AND THERE I WAS,
100 FEET ABOVE DECK,
AND THE SEA GONE
MAD, CLINGING TO A MAST
THAT WAS SPLITTING THE
SKY WITH AN 80 DEGREE ARC.
[exclaims]
(Jacqueline) THEN ONE MORNING,
A FEW DAYS BEFORE HE WAS
DUE TO SET SAIL IN HIS LITTLE BOAT,
SISTER BERTRILLE DISCOVERED
THE CAPTAIN IN THE CLASSROOM.
CAPTAIN BARNABY, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE SO EARLY?
OH, I'M INSTALLING A RADIO.
A RADIO? YEAH.
I MADE IT MYSELF.
THIS WAY I'LL BE ABLE TO
TALK TO YOU AND THE CHILDREN
DURING THE VOYAGE.
OH, NOW, AND... AND SEE HERE.
I, UH, I PINNED THIS MAP UP.
NOW YOU'LL BE ABLE TO
CHART MY COURSE EVERY DAY.
I... I... I THOUGHT THE
CHILDREN WOULD ENJOY THAT.
OH, I'M SURE THEY WILL,
BUT IS THIS GOING TO BE YOUR
ONLY CONTACT WITH LAND?
IT'S THE ONLY CONTACT I WANT.
OH, BUT CAPTAIN... SISTER,
EVERY SAILOR HAS
A FAVORITE PORT.
MINE'S THE CONVENT SAN TANCO.
PERMISSION GRANTED?
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN.
(Jacqueline) THAT AFTERNOON
THE BOMBSHELL EXPLODED.
SISTER BERTRILLE, THERE'S A
MR. CONRAD BARNABY TO SEE YOU.
CONRAD BARNABY?
IS HE A RELATIVE
OF THE CAPTAIN'S?
IT'S HIS SON.
WHY, HE NEVER
MENTIONED HAVING A SON.
UH, CLASS, CONTINUE
YOUR READING.
UH, MR. BARNABY?
OH, YES.
UH, SISTER, LOOK, I DON'T
BELIEVE IN WASTING TIME,
SO I'D LIKE TO GET
RIGHT TO THE POINT.
THE CHANCES OF MY FATHER
SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETING THIS VOYAGE ARE,
EXCUSE ME,
46,754 TO 1.
YOU WORKED IT OUT?
I'M A STATISTICIAN.
I WANT YOU TO DISSUADE MY FATHER
FROM THIS RIDICULOUS VOYAGE.
MR. BARNABY, IT'S
NOT RIDICULOUS TO HIM.
UH, I KNOW IT'S RISKY,
BUT AFTER ALL, HE IS
AN EXPERIENCED SEAMAN.
SISTER,
MY FATHER HADN'T EVEN SEEN
THE OCEAN UNTIL 6 WEEKS AGO.
WHAT?
HE SPENT ALL OF HIS
LIFE IN LINCOLN, NEBRASKA
AS AN INSURANCE SALESMAN.
BUT... BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
HE... HE LOOKS AND
SOUNDS SO NAUTICAL.
HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A
BEARD UNTIL 5 WEEKS AGO.
MAYBE YOU'D BETTER EXPLAIN
THE WHOLE STORY TO ME.
ALL RIGHT.
2 YEARS AGO, THE
COMPANY THAT EMPLOYS ME
TRANSFERRED ME HERE TO SAN JUAN.
CAN I COME ABOARD?
WELL, AHOY THERE, SISTER.
SURE YOU CAN COME
ABOARD. THANKS.
EVERYTHING'S ALL SQUARED AWAY AND
SHIPSHAPE FOR THE VOYAGE TOMORROW.
IT'S A GREAT FEELING TO HAVE A
GOOD SHIP UNDER YOUR FEET AGAIN.
AND MORE INTERESTING THAN
THE INSURANCE BUSINESS, HUH?
THE DRIED PRUNE
WAS IN TO SEE YOU.
CONRAD TOLD ME THE WHOLE STORY.
OH.
WHY'D YOU LIE TO
US, CAPTAIN BARNABY?
WELL, THEY WEREN'T
MEAN LIES, WERE THEY, GAL?
NO, NOT MEAN, JUST
HARD TO UNDERSTAND.
WELL, WHEN YOU'VE HAD
A DREAM A LONG TIME,
YOU START TO BELIEVE IT'S TRUE.
AND ALL MY LIFE I DREAMED OF
BEING CAPTAIN OF A SAILING SHIP.
SO YOU SETTLED FOR BEING
AN INSURANCE SALESMAN.
SETTLED IS RIGHT.
OH, IT WASN'T A BAD LIFE,
JUST DULL LIKE THOUSANDS
OF OTHERS, I SUPPOSE.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT YOUR SON?
YES, WHAT ABOUT MY SON?
YOU KNOW THAT
BOY HAS A LIFE PLAN?
LIFE PLAN? SURE.
HE HAS A CHART UP ON THE WALL.
GRADUATE SCHOOL
AT A CERTAIN DATE,
MAKE VICE PRESIDENT
AT A CERTAIN DATE,
GET MARRIED AT 35, HAVE 3
POINT 7 CHILDREN, I GUESS.
AND HAS HE KEPT TO HIS PLAN?
OF COURSE.
AND WHEN HE FIRST CAME HERE,
HE MET THIS GIRL CALLED MARIA.
I HAD HOPES THAT HE'D MARRY HER
AND SCUTTLE THE WHOLE SHEBANG.
BUT HE EVEN RESISTED
THAT TEMPTATION.
YOU MIGHT SAY MY
SON LOVES WISELY,
BUT NOT TOO WELL.
WHY DIDN'T HE WANNA MARRY HER?
WELL, SHE'S A WIDOW,
SHE'S 3 YEARS OLDER
THAN HIM, SHE'S GOT 4 KIDS.
IT'S NOT LOGICAL FOR
HIM TO MARRY HER.
YOU SEE, CONRAD
BELIEVES IN LOGIC, SISTER.
LET'S GO BELOW, I'VE
GOT SOME COFFEE GOING.
OH, GREAT.
[cups rattle]
UH, TELL ME, MR. BARNABY,
DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOGIC?
WELL, THERE'S LOTS OF THINGS
IN THIS WORLD AREN'T LOGICAL.
SOME THINGS YOU JUST
HAVE TO TAKE ON FAITH.
I KNOW.
WELL, I GUESS YOU DO.
ALL MY LIFE I'VE BEEN LOGICAL,
BUT NOW I'VE
FINALLY OUTGROWN IT.
BUT THIS VOYAGE, YOU DON'T
KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE SEA.
THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG.
I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THE SEA.
I HAD THE BEST
TEACHERS IN THE WORLD.
WHO?
MELVILLE, CONRAD,
BLIGH, COOK, STEVENSON.
I'VE READ EVERY WORD
EVER PRINTED ABOUT SAILING.
MR. BARNABY, READING CAN
ONLY TEACH YOU SO MUCH.
I HAVEN'T ONLY READ, SISTER.
ALL MY LIFE I'VE TAKEN
COURSES IN NAVIGATION,
I'VE STUDIED DESIGN,
I'VE BUILT MODELS,
I CAN USE A SEXTANT AND
I CAN CHART A COURSE.
SO YOU SEE, SISTER, I'M
NOT A COMPLETE OLD FAKE.
BUT WHY TAKE SUCH A
DANGEROUS VOYAGE?
SISTER, I'M 68 YEARS OLD
AND I'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING
THAT I COULD POINT
TO WITH ANY PRIDE.
WORSE STILL, I
HAVEN'T EVEN TRIED.
I JUST LIVED WITH A DREAM
THAT FINALLY WENT COLD.
NOW, I'VE GOT ONE LAST
CHANCE TO REKINDLE THAT DREAM.
AND IF I DON'T DO IT,
I'M NOT GONNA BE MUCH
GOOD FOR ANYTHING.
BON VOYAGE, CAPTAIN.
THANK YOU.
I HEREBY CHRISTEN THIS
SHIP SISTER BERTRILLE.
[people cheering]
AH, THANK YOU, SISTER.
I'LL TRY TO MAKE HER
LIVE UP TO HER NAME.
OH, IT WAS MY HONOR.
WELL, I WANTED TO NAME HER
AFTER A LADY OF SPIRIT AND GRACE.
THE SISTERS HAVE PACKED
ALL YOUR SUPPLIES, CAPTAIN.
THERE'S EVERYTHING IN
HERE FROM SOUP TO BOLTS.
NUTS, SISTER.
OH, THERE'S, THAT'S...
THAT'S IN HERE TOO.
AND ORANGES TO
KEEP AWAY THE SCURVY.
WELL, UH, THANK YOU, SISTERS.
I'M SURE IT WILL
ALL BE DELICIOUS.
ALL RIGHT, ME MATIES,
LET'S GET THIS CHOW ABOARD.
NO SIGN OF THE DRIED PRUNE, HUH?
I'M AFRAID NOT, CAPTAIN.
I TRIED TO EXPLAIN
TO HIM HOW YOU FELT,
BUT I JUST COULDN'T GET THROUGH.
WELL, NO MATTER.
I... I DIDN'T EXPECT HIM
ANYWAY, NO MATTER.
NELSON COULDN'T ASK
FOR A BETTER SENDOFF.
EVERYTHING SHIPSHAPE
THERE, SISTER?
THE CHILDREN WOULD LIKE
TO SAY GOODBYE, CAPTAIN.
WELL, OF COURSE.
I WOULDN'T SAIL AWAY
WITHOUT A FAREWELL
TO THE BEST
SHIPMATES I EVER HAD.
DOESN'T HIS SON EVEN CARE
ENOUGH TO SAY GOODBYE?
MAYBE HE CARES TOO MUCH.
WELL, WHAT'S KEEPING
HIM AWAY? PRIDE?
YEAH. THE WRONG KIND.
WELL, GOODBYE,
SISTER JACQUELINE.
GOODBYE, CAPTAIN.
GOODBYE, GAL.
SMOOTH SAILING, CAPTAIN.
[seagulls cawing]
GOODBYE, SISTER ANA.
GOODBYE, SISTER SIXTO.
[engine starts]
CAST OFF!
WELL, IT'S UP TO
THE CAPTAIN NOW.
THERE'S NOTHING MORE WE CAN DO.
EXCEPT PRAY FOR FAIR WEATHER.
[thunder cracking]
[wind howling]
[radio whining]
[wind howling]
YOU MUST EAT SOMETHING, SISTER.
I KNOW YOU'RE WORRIED,
BUT STARVING YOURSELF
ISN'T GOING TO HELP.
NO. I SUPPOSE NOT.
IT'S NO WONDER SHE LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING THE
CAT DRAGGED THROUGH THE FENCE BACKWARDS.
ALL DAY LONG SHE SITS BY THE
RADIO LISTENING TO NOTHING.
NO WORD AT ALL? NO.
SISTER BERTRILLE.
SISTER BERTRILLE.
CAPTAIN BARNABY. THE
CAPTAIN IS ON THE RADIO.
OH!
HERE'S SISTER
BERTRILLE NOW, CAPTAIN.
HE SOUNDS VERY WEAK.
UH, UH, CAPTAIN BARNABY, WHAT
HAPPENED? ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
WE'RE RIDING OUT THE TAIL
END OF THE STORM NOW, GAL,
BUT THINGS ARE PRETTY
MUCH OF A SHAMBLES.
THE AUXILIARY'S
GONE, I LOST THE JIB.
THAT GALE CAME OUT
OF NOWHERE AND HIT US
BEFORE I HAD A
CHANCE TO FURL HER.
WELL, HAVE YOU GOT A SPARE?
(Captain) SURE.
I'LL GET HER UP AS SOON
AS I CATCH ME A FISH.
CATCH YOU A FISH? WHAT
HAPPENED TO YOUR SUPPLIES?
DAVEY JONES LOCKER.
BUT DON'T WORRY.
I'LL CATCH SOMETHING.
CAPTAIN, WE'LL SEND OUT THE
COASTGUARD TO PICK YOU UP.
I SAID I LOST ME SUPPLIES,
GAL, NOT ME PRIDE.
NOW DON'T BE STUBBORN.
GIVE US YOUR POSITION.
I HAVEN'T THE FOGGIEST,
AND IF I DID, I WOULDN'T
GIVE IT TO YOU.
LOOK, STOP FEELING SORRY FOR ME.
I WOULDN'T HAVE MISSED
THIS TRIP FOR ALL THE WORLD.
I'M WHERE I'VE ALWAYS BEEN...
CAPTAIN BARNABY?
CAPTAIN BARNABY!
THE RADIO'S GONE DEAD.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
UH, GO PACK SOME SUPPLIES.
AND FIND ME SOME
SPARE RADIO PARTS.
RADIO PARTS?
I'M GONNA TRY AND FIND HIM.
(Jacqueline) WITH FAIR WEATHER,
AND ARMED WITH FRESH SUPPLIES,
SISTER BERTRILLE'S
OPERATION AIRLIFT BEGAN.
[wind blowing]
[snoring]
[ship creaking]
[continues snoring]
SISTER BERTRILLE.
WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
ME WINGS.
YOUR WINGS?
I, UH, THOUGHT I MIGHT BE DEAD.
NO, CAPTAIN, I'M AFRAID
YOU'RE NOT DEAD.
I'M HAVING A HALLUCINATION.
AND YOU ARE A FIGMENT
OF MY IMAGINATION.
MIND YOU, YOU, UH...
YOU LOOK P-PRETTY
SOLID FOR A FIGMENT.
THANKS.
AH, IT... IT... IT ALL FITS.
I'M GROGGY, THE
STORM, NOTHING TO EAT.
BUT WHY HAVEN'T YOU EATEN?
NO FOOD.
WHAT'S THAT?
BUT I... I... I LOST
ALL ME SUPPLIES.
HOW DID THIS GET HERE?
I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE THE
SISTERS PACKED 2 SETS OF SUPPLIES.
WELL, AT LEAST YOU COULD
TALK TO ME WHILE I'M EATING.
DO FIGMENTS EAT?
WELL, I CAN DO ANYTHING
YOU WANT ME TO DO.
DO YOU PLAY GIN? DO YOU?
SURE.
THEN SO DO I.
LET'S GO BELOW.
HOLD IT. NOW.
[thudding]
[whistling]
GIN.
WAIT A MINUTE.
IF YOU'RE A FIGMENT
OF MY IMAGINATION,
HOW COME YOU'RE BEATING ME?
I DON'T KNOW. IT'S THE FIRST
TIME I'VE EVER BEEN A FIGMENT.
WELL, ANYWAY,
YOU'RE GOOD COMPANY.
I'LL BE SORRY TO
SEE YOU DISAPPEAR.
YOU KNOW, IT'S A PITY THAT
YOUR RADIO BROKE DOWN.
CAN'T YOU FIX IT?
WELL, I DON'T
THINK IT'S ANY USE.
I'VE TORN IT APART, BUT I
HAVEN'T FOUND THE TROUBLE YET.
OH. UH, BUT YOU ARE GOING TO PUT IT
BACK TOGETHER AND TRY IT AGAIN, HUH?
OH, SURE, BUT I DON'T
HOLD OUT MUCH HOPE.
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
FINE, FINE,
A LITTLE WEAK, BUT FINE.
DOES THAT MEAN
YOU'LL BE LEAVING?
WELL, YOU DON'T NEED ME ANYMORE.
SAY, C-C-COULD I ASK
YOU O-ONE LAST QUESTION?
WHY DID YOU APPEAR IN THE
FORM OF SISTER BERTRILLE?
WHY DO YOU THINK?
WELL, I GUESS
BECAUSE SHE'S ABOUT
THE BEST FRIEND I EVER HAD.
SMOOTH SAILING, CAPTAIN.
[sighs]
[wind blowing]
WELL, I SUPPOSE THAT'S
THE WAY FIGMENTS ARE,
HERE TODAY AND GONE TOMORROW.
[laughs]
DAD, ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT?
(Captain) COULDN'T BE BETTER.
NOT EVEN LONELY.
HAD LOTS OF COMPANY.
COMPANY? WHAT... WHAT COMPANY?
SISTER FIGMENT.
SISTER WHO?
[Captain Otis laughs]
THAT'S JUST MY LITTLE JOKE, SON.
YOU SEE, THIS FIGMENT
DROPPED IN ON ME.
AND THE DARNDEST THING, SHE LOOKS
JUST LIKE THAT LITTLE SISTER BERTRILLE,
BACK AT THE CONVENT THERE.
HAD QUITE A
CONVERSATION WITH HER.
DAD, LOOK... LOOK, LET
ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
YOU... YOU THINK YOU
HAD A... A VISIT FROM A NUN?
THAT I DID.
BEAT ME AT GIN TOO.
OF COURSE, IT'S ALL IN THE MIND,
BUT SHE LOOKED AS
REAL AS ANYTHING.
AS A MATTER OF FACT,
I'M TRYING TO
CONJURE HER UP AGAIN.
DAD, NOW JUST...
JUST RELAX, EVERYTHING'S
GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.
OF COURSE IT IS. I'M
GONNA MAKE IT, SON.
WITHOUT ANY HELP FROM
ANYBODY BUT MY FIGMENT.
FIGMENT.
GOT TO SIGN OFF NOW, SON.
GIVE MY LOVE TO THE
CHILDREN AND THE SISTERS.
I'LL GET BACK TO YOU TOMORROW.
WELL, THAT SETTLES THAT.
SETTLES WHAT, MR. BARNABY?
I'M GONNA GET THE COAST GUARD
AND PULL HIM OUT OF
THERE, OF COURSE. BUT WHY?
WHY? MY FATHER'S
OBVIOUSLY LOST HIS SENSES.
[inaudible]
[alarm beeping]
HE DID WHAT?
NOTHING I COULD
SAY WOULD STOP HIM.
BUT THEY CAN'T PULL HIM OUT. HE'S
GONNA MAKE IT. WHERE IS MR. BARNABY?
HE'S IN THE REVEREND
MOTHER'S OFFICE
WAITING TO HEAR
FROM THE COAST GUARD.
COME ON. WE'RE GONNA
TELL HIM THE TRUTH.
YOU CAN DO WHAT?
FLY. THAT'S HOW I GOT
TO THE BOAT TODAY.
DO YOU EXPECT ME
TO BELIEVE THAT?
WELL, WE FIGURED IT WAS A LONG
SHOT, BUT WE WERE DESPERATE.
WE?
YOU MEAN YOU BELIEVE
SHE CAN FLY TOO?
OF COURSE. SHE'S SISTER FIGMENT.
YOU SEE, MR. BARNABY,
WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.
WE WANT YOU TO CALL THE
COAST GUARD AND TELL THEM.
THAT YOU CAN FLY?
OH, NO. WE TELL VERY
FEW PEOPLE ABOUT THAT.
YES. THAT I CAN UNDERSTAND.
YOU SEE, THE REVEREND MOTHER ISN'T
TOO CRAZY TO HAVE THAT NOISED AROUND.
SO, WE WANT YOU TO
CALL THE COAST GUARD
AND TELL THEM THAT YOU'VE RECEIVED
INFORMATION THAT YOUR FATHER'S OK,
AND TELL THEM TO
CALL OFF THE SEARCH.
HERE'S THE PHONE, MR. BARNABY.
NO.
SISTERS, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE,
BUT I KNOW THAT IT'S ILLOGICAL
TO BELIEVE THAT ANYBODY CAN FLY.
[phone rings]
YES.
SPEAKING. YEAH... THEY HAVE?
ONE OF THE PLANES
HAS SPOTTED HIM.
HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE FOR ONE
OF YOUR BOATS TO REACH HIM?
NOW, I... I WANNA WARN YOU THAT MY
FATHER MIGHT PROTEST THIS RESCUE.
YOU MUST UNDERSTAND
THAT HE'S JUST UNDERGONE
A VERY SEVERE EMOTIONAL...
EXCUSE ME FOR JUST A MOMENT.
SHE REALLY CAN FLY.
SEEING IS BELIEVING.
HOW... HOW DOES SHE DO THAT?
WELL, SHE DOESN'T REALLY KNOW.
SHE DOESN'T KNOW?
MR. BARNABY,
NOT EVERYTHING
IN LIFE IS LOGICAL.
[man chatters]
YES, YES, I-I'M...
I'M STILL HERE.
UH, CAPTAIN,
I'D LIKE TO MAKE WHAT MAY SEEM
TO BE A SURPRISING REQUEST.
(Jacqueline) AND SO THE
GOOD SHIP SISTER BERTRILLE
HELD FIRM TO ITS
COURSE. NEXT STOP: MIAMI.
[seagulls cawing]
WELL, MATIES, THERE I WAS,
10 MILES OUT OF MIAMI
WITH A FAIR WIND AND
SMOOTH SAILING AHEAD.
BUT SUDDENLY THE SEA
ERUPTS LIKE A VOLCANO.
[exclaims]
AND I LOOK UP AND
THERE'S A WHALE
AS BIG AS A HOUSE NOT
5 FEET FROM THE BOW.
DAD TELLING STORIES AGAIN?
UH-HUH. YOU DON'T MIND?
NO, WHY SHOULD I?
SOME OF THIS ONE'S TRUE.
BESIDES, UH,
I GUESS HE'S ENTITLED TO
TELL THEM WHATEVER HE WANTS.
THEY'RE HIS GRANDCHILDREN.
HIS GRANDCHILDREN?
I BECAME THE FATHER
OF 4 2 WEEKS AGO
WHEN I MARRIED MARIA.
[stutters]
CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU NEEDN'T LOOK
SO SURPRISED, SISTER.
YOU KNOW THERE'S
SOME THINGS IN LIFE
THAT JUST AREN'T LOGICAL.