The Flying Nun (1967–1970): Season 1, Episode 2 - The Convert - full transcript
Sister Bertrille is getting better at flying and takes the occasional practice flight. During one of her flights, she is seen by Carlos Ramirez, who thinks he has seen a religious vision. Because of it, he gives up drinking, gambling and girls, while taking up meditating and going to mass. Carlos' current girlfriend, Dottie, is concerned and goes to Sister Bertrille for help, telling her the story. Although Sister Bertrille is as happy as any of the sisters to see agnostic Carlos going to church, she doesn't want him going on false pretenses, and tells and shows him the truth about her ability to fly. Relieved, he goes back to his old carousing ways and tries to make up for lost time. In a poker match, he loses everything except his yacht. Lou and Tony, his gambling buddies, say that they will let Carlos bet them in any way: the yacht against his losings that night. He goes for what he considers a sure thing: that they will see Sister Bertrille fly unaided. Unbeknowst to Carlos, the Reverend Mother has forbid Sister Bertrille from flying while Bishop Dillon is in town. Carlos tries to convince Sister Bertrille to do this for him, he saying that in a way she is responsible for his predicament. He even threatens to take back the property he donated to the convent, as he has not yet signed the papers. Sister Bertrille goes to Reverend Mother for guidance on this issue. Without hearing the specific issue, the busy Reverend Mother tells her to use her own judgment and do what's best for the convent. So Sister Bertrille flies, just as the Reverend Mother and Bishop Dillon go to visit Carlos at his yacht, Carlos the man who so generously donated the land to the convent. A convenient shove of the Bishop into the water saves Sister Bertrille's secret from the Bishop.
[barking]
(Jacqueline) THIS IS THE CONVENT
SAN TANCO IN SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO.
UNTIL ONE WEEK AGO, WE WERE
MUCH LIKE ANY OTHER TEACHING ORDER.
THAT IS WHEN SISTER
BERTRILLE CAME TO JOIN US.
THINGS WERE NEVER
QUITE THE SAME AFTER THAT.
YOU SEE, SISTER BERTRILLE FLIES.
OH, NOT IN AN AIRPLANE.
SHE ONLY WEIGHS 90 POUNDS
AND SHE JUST... FLIES.
UNFORTUNATELY, HER FIRST LANDING
WAS NOT AS GRACEFUL
AS HER TAKEOFF.
BUT A FEW DAYS LATER,
IN THE QUIET OF EARLY MORNING,
WHEN THE WIND WAS GUSTY,
SISTER BERTRILLE'S SPIRIT OF
ADVENTURE GOT THE BETTER OF HER
AND SHE TOOK TO THE AIR AGAIN.
UNFORTUNATELY, HER
UNSCHEDULED FLIGHT
COINCIDED WITH AN
ALL-NIGHT POKER GAME
THAT WAS STILL GOING STRONG ON A
LUXURY YACHT IN SAN JUAN HARBOR.
♪ [music playing]
THE YACHT WAS OWNED
BY CARLOS RAMIREZ,
WHO WAS A PROFESSIONAL GAMBLER
AND THE OWNER OF A DISCOTHEQUE.
HE WAS ALSO A PLAYBOY
AND AN AGNOSTIC.
SISTER BERTRILLE CHANGED
ALL THAT IN ONE FELL SWOOP.
[footsteps approaching]
THOUGHT YOU'D
LIKE A BELT, HONEY.
CARLOS?
HUH?
WANT A DRINK?
[drink splashing]
HEY, IF YOU DIDN'T WANT ONE,
ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS SAY "NO."
WHAT?
THAT'S THE FIRST TIME I EVER
SEEN YOU REFUSE A DRINK.
I THINK I'M GOING
TO GIVE UP DRINKING.
(Jacqueline) SISTER
BERTRILLE DIDN'T KNOW IT YET,
BUT SHE WAS ABOUT TO
GAIN HER FIRST CONVERT.
♪ [music playing]
[people chattering]
[exclaiming]
HI, DOTTIE. OH, HI.
HI. HI, DOTTIE.
OH, WHEN DID...
WHEN DID YOU GET IN?
WE JUST FLEW IN FROM
MIAMI. WHERE'S CARLOS?
IN HIS OFFICE, READING.
READIN'?
YOU MEAN, LIKE BOOKS? WORSE
THAN THAT. RELIGIOUS BOOKS.
YOU'RE KIDDIN'.
HE HASN'T TOUCHED A CARD OR
BEEN NEAR A CRAP TABLE FOR 3 DAYS.
NO KIDDING. I'M REALLY
WORRIED ABOUT HIM.
YEAH, WELL, ME, TOO.
I MEAN, WE CAME OVER HERE FOR
A LITTLE BIT OF ACTION, YOU KNOW.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK
I'VE BEEN LOOKIN' FOR?
EXCEPT HE'S GIVEN UP GIRLS, TOO.
CHICKS I CAN
UNDERSTAND, BUT CARDS?
YEAH.
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I THINK YOU
FELLAS GOT A FUNNY SENSE OF VALUES.
COME ON.
LOOK WHAT JUST
BLEW IN. HIYA, CARLOS.
$100 I CAN GUESS WHAT KIND
OF BOOK YOU'RE READING.
I DON'T BET ON
THINGS LIKE THAT, LOU.
SO, WE AIN'T FUSSY.
WHAT'S YOUR GAME? POKER, CRAPS?
I'M SORRY.
BUT I'M AFRAID YOU
HAVE TO COUNT ME OUT.
I WAS JUST GOING FOR
A WALK ON THE BEACH.
WHAT FOR?
TO THINK, DOTTIE.
I NEED TIME TO MEDITATE.
SEE WHAT I MEAN?
I CAN'T DO A THING WITH HIM.
HEY.
THIS REALLY IS MILK.
(Carlos) THAT'S RIGHT.
I DON'T KEEP LIQUOR
HERE ANYMORE.
NOW WHAT'S THE MATTER, CARLOS?
YOU SICK OR SOMETHIN'?
PERHAPS I'VE BEEN
SICK ALL MY LIFE,
BUT NOW I THINK I'M ON
THE ROAD TO RECOVERY.
PLEASE COME IN,
SISTER BERTRILLE.
THANKS.
YOU WANTED TO SEE ME,
REVEREND MOTHER? YES.
BISHOP DILLION WILL BE
ARRIVING IN SAN JUAN TOMORROW
AND STAYING A FEW DAYS.
NOW, I THINK IT WOULD BE
INADVISABLE TO INFORM HIM
OF YOUR TALENT FOR AEROBATICS.
OH, I DON'T THINK THE
SUBJECT WILL COME UP.
NO, YOU DO NOT
UNDERSTAND ME, SISTER.
I DO NOT WANT YOU TO FLY
WHILE THE BISHOP IS ON THE ISLAND.
YOU MEAN I'M GROUNDED?
I WOULD LIKE YOU TO
STAY ON THE GROUND, YES.
OH.
NOT EVEN A QUICK FLIP AROUND THE
CONVENT WHEN THE LIGHTS ARE OUT?
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
REVEREND MOTHER?
[sighing] SISTER BERTRILLE,
SINCE YOUR ARRIVAL,
I SOMETIMES FEEL
AS IF I'M LIVING
IN ALICE IN WONDERLAND.
I SAW YOUR FRIEND AT EARLY MASS
THIS MORNING, SISTER BERTRILLE.
OH, WHICH FRIEND IS THAT?
SENOR RAMIREZ.
SENOR RAMIREZ? AT MASS?
SI. YOU COULD HAVE KNOCKED
ME OVER WITH A FATHER.
FEATHER, SISTER.
ARE YOU SURE IT
WAS SENOR RAMIREZ?
I SAW HIM AT THE LATE MASS, TOO.
HE WENT TO MASS
TWICE IN ONE DAY?
BOY, THAT'S REALLY
GOING THE COMPLETE PIG.
COMPLETE PIG?
THE COMPLETE PIG.
THE WHOLE HOG?
[laughing]
AMERICAN, VERY HARD LANGUAGE.
WELL, LET'S HOPE
THAT SENOR RAMIREZ'S
RETURN TO THE FOLD IS PERMANENT.
AND THAT HE'S GIVEN UP HIS
LIFE AS A PROFESSIONAL GAMBLER.
YEAH, I'D LIKE TO THINK HE HAS,
BUT I 'LL LAY YOU
8 TO 5 HE HASN'T.
[waves crashing]
[seagulls cawing]
CARLOS! CARLOS!
[panting]
HI.
HELLO.
YOU KNOW, I'VE
WARNED YOU, CARLOS,
NOBODY LIKES A
PLAYBOY WHO'S A DRAG.
YOU KEEP THIS UP AND
YOU'RE GOING TO GET
A VERY BAD REPUTATION
AMONG THE OTHER GAMBLERS.
I'M SORRY, DOTTIE,
BUT THERE ARE THINGS MORE
IMPORTANT THAN THEIR FEELINGS.
OH, WHAT IS IT, CARLOS?
IS IT ANOTHER GIRL?
IN A WAY.
WELL, WHAT DO
YOU MEAN "IN A WAY"?
PERHAPS I DO OWE
YOU AN EXPLANATION.
I SAW A NUN FLYING, DOTTIE.
WELL, WHAT'S SO
STRANGE ABOUT THAT?
THERE'S NOTHING IN THEIR RELIGION
THAT STOPS THEM FROM FLYING.
THIS ONE WAS FLYING
WITHOUT A PLANE.
WITHOUT A PLANE?
YES.
NOT EVEN PARACHUTE?
JUST FLYING?
YES.
OH, LOOK... LOOK, CARLOS.
YOU KNOW I-I'D BE
THE LAST PERSON
TO PUT THE KNOCK ON THE NUNS.
BUT THEY JUST DON'T HAVE
THAT KIND OF POWER, HONEY.
I KNOW. THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT.
IT MUST BE SOME
KIND OF SIGN.
SIGN? YES.
TO CHANGE MY WAY OF LIFE.
A VISION.
I GOT TO SAY SOMETHING
FOR YOU, HONEY
YOU SURE GOT ORIGINAL VISION.
(Bertrille) ♪ PAINT
ME A PICTURE ♪
(children) ♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE OF
YOUR ALL-TIME FAVORITE ♪
♪ AND EVERYDAY YOU
THINK ABOUT IT DREAM ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE OF A
NIGHTMARE THAT YOU HAD ♪
♪ THAT WASN'T HALF
AS BAD AS IT SEEMED ♪
♪ RED AND YELLOW ♪
♪ GREEN AND BLUE ♪
♪ MIX THEM ANYWAY ♪
♪ LET'S SEE JUST
WHAT YOU CAN DO ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE OF
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPIEST ♪
♪ AND THEN WE'LL TRY
TO MAKE IT COME TRUE ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE ♪
♪ OF A HONEY BEE ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE ♪
♪ OF A FUNNY ME ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE ♪
♪ AND THEN I'LL PAINT
A PICTURE FOR YOU ♪
[children cheering]
[exclaiming]
SISTER BERTRILLE?
WELL, HI, DOTTIE. WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?
WELL, I HAD TO SEE YOU ABOUT
SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT, SISTER.
OH, OK.
[speaking Spanish]
[in English] ENGLISH
TRANSLATION: TAKE 5, KIDS.
SOME CLASSROOM, HUH? HMM.
I TELL YOU, SOMETIMES I FEEL
LIKE THE PRISONER OF ZENDA.
WELL, COME ON OVER HERE AND YOU
CAN TELL ME ALL ABOUT YOUR PROBLEM.
OH, THANKS, SISTER
OH, YOU'RE A REAL DOLL.
OH, NO... NO OFFENSE, SISTER.
UH, SISTER, I... I WOULD
HAVE GONE TO SEE A PRIEST,
BUT I FEEL I CAN
REALLY TALK TO YOU.
I MEAN, YOU USED
TO BE A GIRL AND ALL.
WELL, THAT'S ONE
WAY OF PUTTING IT.
ANYWAY, YOU... YOU SEEMED
CLOSER TO THE PROBLEM.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WELL,
[stuttering] I'M GETTING TO
THAT. SEE, IT'S ABOUT CARLOS.
NO KIDDING, SISTER, I-I'M
WORRIED SICK ABOUT HIM.
HE'S GIVEN UP GAMBLING
AND DRINKING AND EVEN GIRLS.
BUT, NO KIDDING, HE'S TURNING
INTO SOME KIND OF MONK!
OH.
[stuttering] NO OFFENSE.
I KNOW HE'S BEEN COMING
TO MASS EVERYDAY, DOTTIE,
BUT I DON'T THINK THAT COULD REALLY
BE CONSIDERED A TURN FOR THE WORSE.
BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHY
HE'S SUDDENLY CHANGED.
HE'S HAVING
[whispering] RELIGIOUS
HALLUCINATIONS.
[whispering] WHAT KIND
OF HALLUCINATIONS?
HOLD ON TO YOUR HAT, SISTER.
HE SAYS HE'S SEEN A NUN FLYING.
OH, SWELL.
HE EVEN THINKS IT'S SOME
KIND OF VISION OR SOMETHING.
BUT I... I TOLD HIM THAT, WELL, YOU
PEOPLE DON'T DO THAT SORT OF THING,
BUT HE... HE JUST WON'T LISTEN.
WELL, W-WHAT DO
YOU THINK, SISTER?
I THINK IT'S SOMETHING THAT HAS
TO BE NIPPED IN THE BUD RIGHT AWAY!
SISTER, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING ON ROLLER SKATES?
WELL, THE REVEREND MOTHER TOOK THE CAR,
SO I BORROWED THESE FROM ONE OF THE KIDS.
I GOT TO SEE SENOR RAMIREZ FAST.
WHY? SO HE CAN GO BACK
TO GAMBLING AND GIRLS.
I BEG YOUR PARDON.
WELL, THAT'S NOT
EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN,
BUT I JUST FOUND OUT THAT
HE'S BEEN COMING TO MASS
BECAUSE HE SAW ME FLYING
AND THINKS HE HAD A VISION.
I'VE GOT TO TELL HIM THE TRUTH.
BUT I THOUGHT YOU WANTED
HIM TO COME TO CHURCH.
YES, BUT FOR THE RIGHT REASONS,
NOT BECAUSE HE SAW ME FLIPPING
OFF IN THE WILD BLUE YONDER.
THAT'S THE EASY WAY
TO GET CONVERTS.
YOU UNDERSTAND?
I THINK SO.
DON'T TAKE TOO LONG.
THE BISHOP'S EXPECTED
THIS AFTERNOON
AND HE'LL BE INSPECTING
THE CLASSROOMS!
CHECK!
CARLOS!
SENOR RAMIREZ! CARLOS!
OH, I'M SO GLAD I FOUND YOU.
WHY DO YOU GO TO SEE ME?
WELL, I HAVEN'T GOT MUCH TIME,
SO I'LL GET RIGHT TO THE POINT.
YOU'VE CHANGED BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT
YOU SAW A VISION OF ME FLYING, RIGHT?
OH, SISTER BERTRILLE,
MY VISION OF YOU IS
NOT A LAUGHING MATTER.
BUT IT'S NOT A VISION.
YOU SEE, I CAN FLY.
LOOK, CARLOS, IT'S VERY SIMPLE.
YOU SEE, I ONLY WEIGH 90 POUNDS,
AND THE COMBINATION OF MY
CORNET AND THE WIND LIFTS ME.
SO HOW COME YOU NOT FLYING NOW?
I HAVE SKATES IN MY HANDS.
OH, SISTER, WOULD YOU
PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE?
CARLOS, I HAVEN'T
GOT TIME TO ARGUE.
LOOK, IF I GIVE YOU A QUICK
DEMONSTRATION, WILL YOU BELIEVE ME THEN?
YOU ARE GOING TO FLY NOW?
YEAH, WELL, JUST A QUICK
HOP, BUT YOU'LL GET THE IDEA.
LET'S SEE, I NEED SOME ELEVATION
FOR TAKEOFF. THAT ROCK'LL DO.
OH, SISTER, SISTER, YOU'RE
GOING TO FALL FROM THERE.
YEAH, THEY LAUGHED AT
THE WRIGHT BROTHERS, TOO.
LOOK, YOU JUST KEEP YOUR
EYES PEELED FOR PEOPLE.
I DON'T WANT ANYMORE
COUNTERFEIT CONVERTS.
WIND'S NOT BAD.
THERE. NOW, I JUST JETTISON MY
SKATES AND I'M READY FOR TAKEOFF.
CONTACT.
CONVINCED? CONVINCED.
NOW, CARLOS, JUST BECAUSE
YOU'VE LEARNED IT WASN'T A VISION,
THAT'S NO REASON TO
STOP COMING TO MASS.
I MEAN, THERE'S LOTS OF OTHER
REASONS... WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
FIRST, I'M GOING TO GET DRUNK.
THEN, I'M GOING TO GAMBLE,
AND THEN... CARLOS.
SISTER, I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING
TO REGAIN MY REPUTATION.
(Rev. Mother) ALL THINGS
CONSIDERED, YOUR GRACE,
WE HAVE ENJOYED SOME MEASURE
OF SUCCESS, DESPITE THE HANDICAPS.
OF COURSE, OUR MAJOR
PROBLEM IS STILL A LACK OF FUNDS.
WE'VE HAD TO MAKE DO
WITH SUCH INADEQUATE...
SISTER BERTRILLE,
SHOULDN'T YOU BE
IN YOUR CLASSROOM?
[stuttering] WELL, I WAS JUST
ON MY WAY, REVEREND MOTHER.
UH, YOUR GRACE, THIS IS SISTER
BERTRILLE WHO TEACHES KINDERGARTEN.
SHE'S BEEN WITH US JUST 2 WEEKS.
YOUR GRACE. SISTER.
WHY ARE YOU CROUCHING
LIKE THAT, SISTER?
WELL... WELL, I OFTEN
STAND LIKE THIS, YOUR GRACE.
OH.
I WAS JUST LOOKING
AT YOUR CLASSROOM.
OH, GREAT PLACE IF
YOU'RE A MOLE, HUH?
I... I MEAN, THAT'LL ALL CHANGE
NOW THAT SENOR RAMIREZ
HAS DONATED HIS LAND
FOR THE NEW SCHOOL.
OH, YES, THE REVEREND MOTHER
WAS TELLING ME ABOUT THAT.
AND I SHOULD LIKE TO
MEET THIS SENOR RAMIREZ
TO THANK HIM FOR HIS GENEROSITY.
OH, I'M SURE HE'LL GET
QUITE A KICK OUT OF IT,
AND YOU'LL LIKE HIM,
TOO. HE'S A GREAT GUY.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR INFORMATION,
SISTER. YOU MAY LEAVE NOW.
AFTER YOU.
SISTER BERTRILLE,
YOUR CLASS IS WAITING.
RIGHT.
DOES SHE ALWAYS USE THAT
METHOD OF TRANSPORTATION?
I WISH SHE DID.
[stuttering] UH, SISTER BERTRILLE
IS SOMEWHAT UNORTHODOX,
BUT HER INTENTIONS ARE GOOD.
I'M SURE THEY ARE.
REVEREND MOTHER, I AM ANXIOUS
TO MEET THIS SENOR RAMIREZ.
HE MUST BE A VERY DEVOUT MAN.
I'M SURE HE IS,
ABOUT SOME THINGS.
(Carlos) I'LL RAISE YOU
1,000.
OH, HONEY, DON'T YOU
THINK YOU OUGHT TO QUIT?
YOU'VE BEEN LOSING
FOR 8 STRAIGHT HOURS.
MY LUCK'S JUST
ABOUT TO CHANGE NOW.
I CALL.
FLUSH.
FULL BOAT.
WELL... [sighing]
THAT SEES ME OUT.
DO YOU KNOW HOW
MUCH YOU LOST, CARLOS?
SURE. EVERYTHING.
NOT EVERYTHING. YOU
STILL GOT YOUR BOAT.
NO, NO. THAT I
WOULD LIKE TO KEEP.
YEAH, BUT TONY
HERE'S GOT A POINT.
I MEAN, WE HATE TO QUIT WITHOUT GIVING
YOU A CHANCE TO GET YOUR MONEY BACK.
HOW ABOUT YOU PUT UP YOUR
BOAT AGAINST EVERYTHING YOU LOST.
OH, NO, NO. THE CARDS
AREN'T ON MY SIDE TODAY.
IT DON'T HAVE TO BE
POKER. YOU NAME THE BET.
♪ [children singing]
WELL, WHAT IS IT, HONEY?
[shushing]
(Bertrille) ♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE
OF WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPIEST ♪
♪ AND THEN WE'LL TRY
TO MAKE IT COME TRUE ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE AND THEN
I'LL PAINT A PICTURE FOR YOU ♪
DID YOU SAY ANY BET?
YEAH, SURE.
GENTLEMEN, YOU HAVE A WAGER.
WHAT'S THE BET?
COME HERE.
[children chattering]
(Bertrille) ALL RIGHT, KIDS. COME
ON, LET'S GO. PEDRO, HURRY UP.
DON'T HOG THE WATER.
AH, COME ON, KIDS.
I'LL BET MY YACHT
AGAINST MY LOSSES
THAT WITHIN 8 HOURS, YOU'RE
GOING TO SEE THAT NUN FLY.
[scoffs]
HEY, I MEAN, WHAT
KIND OF BET IS THAT?
ANYBODY CAN BUY
AN AIRLINE TICKET.
OH, NO, YOU'RE GOING
TO SEE HER FLY UNAIDED.
OH, CARLOS, YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO START THAT AGAIN!
WAIT A MINUTE. ARE
YOU TRYING TO TELL US
THAT YOU THINK
THAT NUNS CAN FLY?
OH, NO. NOT ALL NUNS.
THAT ONE.
[chuckling] THE... THE
JOKE'S OVER, GUYS.
CARLOS IS JUST PUTTING
YOU ON, WEREN'T YOU, CARLOS?
OH, NO. I'M PUTTING HER UP.
LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
YOU'RE WILLING TO BET YOUR
BOAT THAT THE LITTLE NUN CAN...
THAT'S VERY GOOD.
CAN YOU DO BIRD CALLS, TOO?
NOW GENTLEMEN, IS IT A BET?
YOU MUST BE CRAZY, CARLOS.
THERE'S AN OLD SPANISH SAYING
[speaking Spanish]
WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
[in English] PUT UP OR SHUT UP.
CARLOS, I CAN'T FLY FOR MONEY.
WELL, WHY NOT? ARE YOU AFRAID
OF LOSING YOUR AMATEUR STANDING?
I CAN'T FLY, PERIOD.
I'VE BEEN GROUNDED.
BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
THERE'S A STRONG TRADE
WIND. THE WEATHER IS PERFECT.
I PROMISED THE REVEREND
MOTHER I WOULDN'T FLY
WHILE THE BISHOP
WAS IN PUERTO RICO.
BUT YOU'VE GOT TO.
IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR YOU, I WOULDN'T
HAVE TRIED TO MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME
AND GAMBLED SO STUPIDLY.
WELL, CARLOS, I'M
REALLY SORRY, BUT I...
OH, LISTEN, DON'T YOU
THINK YOU OWE ME THIS?
OWE YOU? YES.
I DONATED THE LAND
TO THE CONVENT
WHEN I SAW YOU FLY
THE FIRST TIME, RIGHT?
YES. NOW, WHEN I LEARNED THAT
THAT WAS NOT A VISION, I
DIDN'T TAKE THE LAND BACK.
BUT I HAVEN'T SIGNED
THE PAPERS YET.
YOU'D WELCH ON YOUR PROMISE?
WELL, MY YACHT
MEANS A LOT TO ME.
WELL, I'LL TRY AND GET PERMISSION
FROM THE REVEREND MOTHER,
BUT IT'S A LONG SHOT.
SISTER, I'VE BEEN BACKING
LONG SHOTS ALL MY LIFE.
SWELL, BUT YOU NEVER BET ON
THE REVEREND MOTHER BEFORE.
REVEREND MOTHER!
REVEREND MOTHER!
[station wagon engine starting]
OH, HI, YOUR GRACE.
UH, REVEREND MOTHER,
I NEED YOUR ADVICE.
WE HAVE NO TIME NOW, SISTER.
UH, HIS GRACE AND I
ARE GOING INTO TOWN.
BUT IT'S ABOUT, UH,
CONVENT POLICY.
WELL, SISTER, YOU WILL HAVE TO LEARN
TO MAKE SOME DECISIONS BY YOURSELF.
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, YOUR GRACE?
NOW, YOU JUST ASK YOURSELF, "IS
IT FOR THE GOOD OF THE CONVENT?"
THE ANSWER WILL BE APPARENT.
WELL, I GUESS THAT SETTLES THAT.
OK, CARLOS, I'LL MAKE
ONE PASS OVER THE YACHT.
BUT YOU BETTER TELL YOUR
FRIENDS TO KEEP THEIR EYES PEELED
BECAUSE I DON'T
PLAN ON ANY ENCORES.
ONCE WILL BE ENOUGH, SISTER.
YEAH, IT'LL BE MORE THAN
ENOUGH IF THE BISHOP SEES ME.
NOW, WE BETTER
SYNCHRONIZE OUR WATCHES.
HELLO. HELLO.
WHAT'S THE MATTER? I JUST
REMEMBERED. I DON'T HAVE A WATCH.
WELL, ANYWAY, LOOK
FOR ME IN 4 MINUTES.
FINE.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN' FOR?
THE NUN. WHO ELSE?
[laughing] ARE YOU KIDDIN'?
I GOT A FEELING THIS
IS A REAL SUCKER BET.
IT SMELLS LIKE A
SET-UP, YOU KNOW, LOU.
I MEAN, WHY WOULD A
SHARP GUY LIKE CARLOS
BET ON A FLYING NUN UNLESS HE
HAD SOME KIND OF INSIDE INFORMATION?
'CAUSE IT'S ALL IN HIS MIND,
THAT'S WHY. DOTTIE TOLD US THAT.
I DON'T KNOW. I MEAN, THAT
MIGHT BE PART OF THE SET-UP.
AND WHAT IF SHE'S SOME
KIND OF, UH, SKY DIVER.
I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING, TONY. IF
CARLOS CAN SHOW US A NUN FLYING,
OR EVEN SKY DIVING, I'M
WILLING TO GIVE HIM THE MONEY.
SHE'S COMING OVER IN 3 MINUTES.
LEVEL WITH US, CARLOS. THIS
IS SOME KIND OF JOKE, RIGHT?
I CAN'T AFFORD THIS
TYPE OF JOKE, LOU.
NOW, YOU HAVE TO PROMISE ME
THAT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE WILL
REMAIN JUST BETWEEN THE THREE OF US.
SURE, SURE. BUT WHAT ABOUT THEM?
THANK YOU, YOUR GRACE.
OH, SENOR RAMIREZ, I WOULD
LIKE TO INTRODUCE BISHOP DILLION.
OH, VERY NICE TO
MEET YOU, YOUR GRACE.
BUT, I AM, UH, RATHER
BUSY RIGHT NOW.
WELL, I JUST WANTED TO
THANK YOU PERSONALLY
FOR YOUR GENEROUS
GIFT OF YOUR LAND.
WELL, THANK YOU, YOUR GRACE,
BUT I'M, UH, EXPECTING
A VISITOR NOW.
SHE THE ONE WHO FLIES?
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
THIS IS MOTHER SUPERIOR
FROM CONVENT SAN TANCO
AND THIS IS BISHOP DILLION.
THEY WERE JUST LEAVING.
COULD I TAKE A MOMENT TO LOOK AROUND?
I-I'VE NEVER BEEN ON A YACHT BEFORE.
OH, WELL, OF COURSE.
I'LL SHOW YOU THE CABIN.
IN A MOMENT. YES.
THE WATER HERE IS SO BLUE.
HOLY TOLEDO, THERE SHE IS!
YOUR GRACE!
I'M EXTREMELY SORRY.
I'M AFRAID I... I CAN'T SWIM!
(Carlos) HOLD ON, YOUR GRACE.
MR. BISHOP, I'LL
GET A LIFE BELT!
(Bishop Dillion) I'M
AFRAID I... I CAN'T SWIM.
I CAN'T SWIM.
JUST RELAX, YOUR GRACE.
I'M A GREAT SWIMMER.
WELL, I MUST SAY,
IT WAS VERY NICE
OF SENOR RAMIREZ TO
LEND ME THESE DRY CLOTHES.
YEAH. LOOKS GREAT
ON YOU, YOUR GRACE.
YOU SHOULD WEAR
YELLOW MORE OFTEN.
SISTER.
I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND
HOW I FELL OVERBOARD.
AND HOW DID YOU REACH
MY SIDE SO QUICKLY?
YOU... YOU... YOU SEEMED
TO COME FROM NOWHERE.
OH, I WAS JUST IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD,
AND I SAW YOU HAVING PROBLEMS,
SO I JUST DOVE RIGHT IN.
WELL,
I'M SURE MY CLOTHES
ARE DRY BY NOW. YES.
THANK YOU AGAIN,
SISTER BERTRILLE.
YOU SHOULD BE IN THE OLYMPICS.
IN WHAT CATEGORY?
WHY, SWIMMING, OF COURSE.
OH, SWIMMING.
THAT IS, UNLESS YOU
HAVE OTHER TALENTS, TOO.
GOODBYE, SISTER
BERTRILLE. YOUR GRACE.
AND I'LL SEE YOU LATER, REVEREND
MOTHER. YES, YOUR GRACE.
[door opening]
[door closing]
I'M SORRY I HAD TO
FLY, REVEREND MOTHER,
BUT I FELT IT WAS FOR THE
GOOD OF THE CONVENT. SISTER...
YES, I UNDERSTAND THE
PROBLEM YOU FACED.
BUT IN THE FUTURE, I
THINK IT MIGHT BE BETTER
IF YOU DIDN'T SEE SENOR
RAMIREZ SO FREQUENTLY.
THAT WILL BE ALL.
YOU CAN GO, SISTER.
SISTER.
JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY, HOW
DID HIS GRACE FALL OVERBOARD?
I DON'T KNOW.
IT COULD HAVE BEEN A GUST
OF WIND, REVEREND MOTHER.
YOU KNOW, THE WIND CAN DO
STRANGE THINGS IN SAN JUAN.
DON'T REMIND ME,
SISTER. DON'T REMIND ME.
(Jacqueline) THIS IS THE CONVENT
SAN TANCO IN SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO.
UNTIL ONE WEEK AGO, WE WERE
MUCH LIKE ANY OTHER TEACHING ORDER.
THAT IS WHEN SISTER
BERTRILLE CAME TO JOIN US.
THINGS WERE NEVER
QUITE THE SAME AFTER THAT.
YOU SEE, SISTER BERTRILLE FLIES.
OH, NOT IN AN AIRPLANE.
SHE ONLY WEIGHS 90 POUNDS
AND SHE JUST... FLIES.
UNFORTUNATELY, HER FIRST LANDING
WAS NOT AS GRACEFUL
AS HER TAKEOFF.
BUT A FEW DAYS LATER,
IN THE QUIET OF EARLY MORNING,
WHEN THE WIND WAS GUSTY,
SISTER BERTRILLE'S SPIRIT OF
ADVENTURE GOT THE BETTER OF HER
AND SHE TOOK TO THE AIR AGAIN.
UNFORTUNATELY, HER
UNSCHEDULED FLIGHT
COINCIDED WITH AN
ALL-NIGHT POKER GAME
THAT WAS STILL GOING STRONG ON A
LUXURY YACHT IN SAN JUAN HARBOR.
♪ [music playing]
THE YACHT WAS OWNED
BY CARLOS RAMIREZ,
WHO WAS A PROFESSIONAL GAMBLER
AND THE OWNER OF A DISCOTHEQUE.
HE WAS ALSO A PLAYBOY
AND AN AGNOSTIC.
SISTER BERTRILLE CHANGED
ALL THAT IN ONE FELL SWOOP.
[footsteps approaching]
THOUGHT YOU'D
LIKE A BELT, HONEY.
CARLOS?
HUH?
WANT A DRINK?
[drink splashing]
HEY, IF YOU DIDN'T WANT ONE,
ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS SAY "NO."
WHAT?
THAT'S THE FIRST TIME I EVER
SEEN YOU REFUSE A DRINK.
I THINK I'M GOING
TO GIVE UP DRINKING.
(Jacqueline) SISTER
BERTRILLE DIDN'T KNOW IT YET,
BUT SHE WAS ABOUT TO
GAIN HER FIRST CONVERT.
♪ [music playing]
[people chattering]
[exclaiming]
HI, DOTTIE. OH, HI.
HI. HI, DOTTIE.
OH, WHEN DID...
WHEN DID YOU GET IN?
WE JUST FLEW IN FROM
MIAMI. WHERE'S CARLOS?
IN HIS OFFICE, READING.
READIN'?
YOU MEAN, LIKE BOOKS? WORSE
THAN THAT. RELIGIOUS BOOKS.
YOU'RE KIDDIN'.
HE HASN'T TOUCHED A CARD OR
BEEN NEAR A CRAP TABLE FOR 3 DAYS.
NO KIDDING. I'M REALLY
WORRIED ABOUT HIM.
YEAH, WELL, ME, TOO.
I MEAN, WE CAME OVER HERE FOR
A LITTLE BIT OF ACTION, YOU KNOW.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK
I'VE BEEN LOOKIN' FOR?
EXCEPT HE'S GIVEN UP GIRLS, TOO.
CHICKS I CAN
UNDERSTAND, BUT CARDS?
YEAH.
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I THINK YOU
FELLAS GOT A FUNNY SENSE OF VALUES.
COME ON.
LOOK WHAT JUST
BLEW IN. HIYA, CARLOS.
$100 I CAN GUESS WHAT KIND
OF BOOK YOU'RE READING.
I DON'T BET ON
THINGS LIKE THAT, LOU.
SO, WE AIN'T FUSSY.
WHAT'S YOUR GAME? POKER, CRAPS?
I'M SORRY.
BUT I'M AFRAID YOU
HAVE TO COUNT ME OUT.
I WAS JUST GOING FOR
A WALK ON THE BEACH.
WHAT FOR?
TO THINK, DOTTIE.
I NEED TIME TO MEDITATE.
SEE WHAT I MEAN?
I CAN'T DO A THING WITH HIM.
HEY.
THIS REALLY IS MILK.
(Carlos) THAT'S RIGHT.
I DON'T KEEP LIQUOR
HERE ANYMORE.
NOW WHAT'S THE MATTER, CARLOS?
YOU SICK OR SOMETHIN'?
PERHAPS I'VE BEEN
SICK ALL MY LIFE,
BUT NOW I THINK I'M ON
THE ROAD TO RECOVERY.
PLEASE COME IN,
SISTER BERTRILLE.
THANKS.
YOU WANTED TO SEE ME,
REVEREND MOTHER? YES.
BISHOP DILLION WILL BE
ARRIVING IN SAN JUAN TOMORROW
AND STAYING A FEW DAYS.
NOW, I THINK IT WOULD BE
INADVISABLE TO INFORM HIM
OF YOUR TALENT FOR AEROBATICS.
OH, I DON'T THINK THE
SUBJECT WILL COME UP.
NO, YOU DO NOT
UNDERSTAND ME, SISTER.
I DO NOT WANT YOU TO FLY
WHILE THE BISHOP IS ON THE ISLAND.
YOU MEAN I'M GROUNDED?
I WOULD LIKE YOU TO
STAY ON THE GROUND, YES.
OH.
NOT EVEN A QUICK FLIP AROUND THE
CONVENT WHEN THE LIGHTS ARE OUT?
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
REVEREND MOTHER?
[sighing] SISTER BERTRILLE,
SINCE YOUR ARRIVAL,
I SOMETIMES FEEL
AS IF I'M LIVING
IN ALICE IN WONDERLAND.
I SAW YOUR FRIEND AT EARLY MASS
THIS MORNING, SISTER BERTRILLE.
OH, WHICH FRIEND IS THAT?
SENOR RAMIREZ.
SENOR RAMIREZ? AT MASS?
SI. YOU COULD HAVE KNOCKED
ME OVER WITH A FATHER.
FEATHER, SISTER.
ARE YOU SURE IT
WAS SENOR RAMIREZ?
I SAW HIM AT THE LATE MASS, TOO.
HE WENT TO MASS
TWICE IN ONE DAY?
BOY, THAT'S REALLY
GOING THE COMPLETE PIG.
COMPLETE PIG?
THE COMPLETE PIG.
THE WHOLE HOG?
[laughing]
AMERICAN, VERY HARD LANGUAGE.
WELL, LET'S HOPE
THAT SENOR RAMIREZ'S
RETURN TO THE FOLD IS PERMANENT.
AND THAT HE'S GIVEN UP HIS
LIFE AS A PROFESSIONAL GAMBLER.
YEAH, I'D LIKE TO THINK HE HAS,
BUT I 'LL LAY YOU
8 TO 5 HE HASN'T.
[waves crashing]
[seagulls cawing]
CARLOS! CARLOS!
[panting]
HI.
HELLO.
YOU KNOW, I'VE
WARNED YOU, CARLOS,
NOBODY LIKES A
PLAYBOY WHO'S A DRAG.
YOU KEEP THIS UP AND
YOU'RE GOING TO GET
A VERY BAD REPUTATION
AMONG THE OTHER GAMBLERS.
I'M SORRY, DOTTIE,
BUT THERE ARE THINGS MORE
IMPORTANT THAN THEIR FEELINGS.
OH, WHAT IS IT, CARLOS?
IS IT ANOTHER GIRL?
IN A WAY.
WELL, WHAT DO
YOU MEAN "IN A WAY"?
PERHAPS I DO OWE
YOU AN EXPLANATION.
I SAW A NUN FLYING, DOTTIE.
WELL, WHAT'S SO
STRANGE ABOUT THAT?
THERE'S NOTHING IN THEIR RELIGION
THAT STOPS THEM FROM FLYING.
THIS ONE WAS FLYING
WITHOUT A PLANE.
WITHOUT A PLANE?
YES.
NOT EVEN PARACHUTE?
JUST FLYING?
YES.
OH, LOOK... LOOK, CARLOS.
YOU KNOW I-I'D BE
THE LAST PERSON
TO PUT THE KNOCK ON THE NUNS.
BUT THEY JUST DON'T HAVE
THAT KIND OF POWER, HONEY.
I KNOW. THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT.
IT MUST BE SOME
KIND OF SIGN.
SIGN? YES.
TO CHANGE MY WAY OF LIFE.
A VISION.
I GOT TO SAY SOMETHING
FOR YOU, HONEY
YOU SURE GOT ORIGINAL VISION.
(Bertrille) ♪ PAINT
ME A PICTURE ♪
(children) ♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE OF
YOUR ALL-TIME FAVORITE ♪
♪ AND EVERYDAY YOU
THINK ABOUT IT DREAM ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE OF A
NIGHTMARE THAT YOU HAD ♪
♪ THAT WASN'T HALF
AS BAD AS IT SEEMED ♪
♪ RED AND YELLOW ♪
♪ GREEN AND BLUE ♪
♪ MIX THEM ANYWAY ♪
♪ LET'S SEE JUST
WHAT YOU CAN DO ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE OF
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPIEST ♪
♪ AND THEN WE'LL TRY
TO MAKE IT COME TRUE ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE ♪
♪ OF A HONEY BEE ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE ♪
♪ OF A FUNNY ME ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE ♪
♪ AND THEN I'LL PAINT
A PICTURE FOR YOU ♪
[children cheering]
[exclaiming]
SISTER BERTRILLE?
WELL, HI, DOTTIE. WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?
WELL, I HAD TO SEE YOU ABOUT
SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT, SISTER.
OH, OK.
[speaking Spanish]
[in English] ENGLISH
TRANSLATION: TAKE 5, KIDS.
SOME CLASSROOM, HUH? HMM.
I TELL YOU, SOMETIMES I FEEL
LIKE THE PRISONER OF ZENDA.
WELL, COME ON OVER HERE AND YOU
CAN TELL ME ALL ABOUT YOUR PROBLEM.
OH, THANKS, SISTER
OH, YOU'RE A REAL DOLL.
OH, NO... NO OFFENSE, SISTER.
UH, SISTER, I... I WOULD
HAVE GONE TO SEE A PRIEST,
BUT I FEEL I CAN
REALLY TALK TO YOU.
I MEAN, YOU USED
TO BE A GIRL AND ALL.
WELL, THAT'S ONE
WAY OF PUTTING IT.
ANYWAY, YOU... YOU SEEMED
CLOSER TO THE PROBLEM.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WELL,
[stuttering] I'M GETTING TO
THAT. SEE, IT'S ABOUT CARLOS.
NO KIDDING, SISTER, I-I'M
WORRIED SICK ABOUT HIM.
HE'S GIVEN UP GAMBLING
AND DRINKING AND EVEN GIRLS.
BUT, NO KIDDING, HE'S TURNING
INTO SOME KIND OF MONK!
OH.
[stuttering] NO OFFENSE.
I KNOW HE'S BEEN COMING
TO MASS EVERYDAY, DOTTIE,
BUT I DON'T THINK THAT COULD REALLY
BE CONSIDERED A TURN FOR THE WORSE.
BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHY
HE'S SUDDENLY CHANGED.
HE'S HAVING
[whispering] RELIGIOUS
HALLUCINATIONS.
[whispering] WHAT KIND
OF HALLUCINATIONS?
HOLD ON TO YOUR HAT, SISTER.
HE SAYS HE'S SEEN A NUN FLYING.
OH, SWELL.
HE EVEN THINKS IT'S SOME
KIND OF VISION OR SOMETHING.
BUT I... I TOLD HIM THAT, WELL, YOU
PEOPLE DON'T DO THAT SORT OF THING,
BUT HE... HE JUST WON'T LISTEN.
WELL, W-WHAT DO
YOU THINK, SISTER?
I THINK IT'S SOMETHING THAT HAS
TO BE NIPPED IN THE BUD RIGHT AWAY!
SISTER, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING ON ROLLER SKATES?
WELL, THE REVEREND MOTHER TOOK THE CAR,
SO I BORROWED THESE FROM ONE OF THE KIDS.
I GOT TO SEE SENOR RAMIREZ FAST.
WHY? SO HE CAN GO BACK
TO GAMBLING AND GIRLS.
I BEG YOUR PARDON.
WELL, THAT'S NOT
EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN,
BUT I JUST FOUND OUT THAT
HE'S BEEN COMING TO MASS
BECAUSE HE SAW ME FLYING
AND THINKS HE HAD A VISION.
I'VE GOT TO TELL HIM THE TRUTH.
BUT I THOUGHT YOU WANTED
HIM TO COME TO CHURCH.
YES, BUT FOR THE RIGHT REASONS,
NOT BECAUSE HE SAW ME FLIPPING
OFF IN THE WILD BLUE YONDER.
THAT'S THE EASY WAY
TO GET CONVERTS.
YOU UNDERSTAND?
I THINK SO.
DON'T TAKE TOO LONG.
THE BISHOP'S EXPECTED
THIS AFTERNOON
AND HE'LL BE INSPECTING
THE CLASSROOMS!
CHECK!
CARLOS!
SENOR RAMIREZ! CARLOS!
OH, I'M SO GLAD I FOUND YOU.
WHY DO YOU GO TO SEE ME?
WELL, I HAVEN'T GOT MUCH TIME,
SO I'LL GET RIGHT TO THE POINT.
YOU'VE CHANGED BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT
YOU SAW A VISION OF ME FLYING, RIGHT?
OH, SISTER BERTRILLE,
MY VISION OF YOU IS
NOT A LAUGHING MATTER.
BUT IT'S NOT A VISION.
YOU SEE, I CAN FLY.
LOOK, CARLOS, IT'S VERY SIMPLE.
YOU SEE, I ONLY WEIGH 90 POUNDS,
AND THE COMBINATION OF MY
CORNET AND THE WIND LIFTS ME.
SO HOW COME YOU NOT FLYING NOW?
I HAVE SKATES IN MY HANDS.
OH, SISTER, WOULD YOU
PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE?
CARLOS, I HAVEN'T
GOT TIME TO ARGUE.
LOOK, IF I GIVE YOU A QUICK
DEMONSTRATION, WILL YOU BELIEVE ME THEN?
YOU ARE GOING TO FLY NOW?
YEAH, WELL, JUST A QUICK
HOP, BUT YOU'LL GET THE IDEA.
LET'S SEE, I NEED SOME ELEVATION
FOR TAKEOFF. THAT ROCK'LL DO.
OH, SISTER, SISTER, YOU'RE
GOING TO FALL FROM THERE.
YEAH, THEY LAUGHED AT
THE WRIGHT BROTHERS, TOO.
LOOK, YOU JUST KEEP YOUR
EYES PEELED FOR PEOPLE.
I DON'T WANT ANYMORE
COUNTERFEIT CONVERTS.
WIND'S NOT BAD.
THERE. NOW, I JUST JETTISON MY
SKATES AND I'M READY FOR TAKEOFF.
CONTACT.
CONVINCED? CONVINCED.
NOW, CARLOS, JUST BECAUSE
YOU'VE LEARNED IT WASN'T A VISION,
THAT'S NO REASON TO
STOP COMING TO MASS.
I MEAN, THERE'S LOTS OF OTHER
REASONS... WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
FIRST, I'M GOING TO GET DRUNK.
THEN, I'M GOING TO GAMBLE,
AND THEN... CARLOS.
SISTER, I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING
TO REGAIN MY REPUTATION.
(Rev. Mother) ALL THINGS
CONSIDERED, YOUR GRACE,
WE HAVE ENJOYED SOME MEASURE
OF SUCCESS, DESPITE THE HANDICAPS.
OF COURSE, OUR MAJOR
PROBLEM IS STILL A LACK OF FUNDS.
WE'VE HAD TO MAKE DO
WITH SUCH INADEQUATE...
SISTER BERTRILLE,
SHOULDN'T YOU BE
IN YOUR CLASSROOM?
[stuttering] WELL, I WAS JUST
ON MY WAY, REVEREND MOTHER.
UH, YOUR GRACE, THIS IS SISTER
BERTRILLE WHO TEACHES KINDERGARTEN.
SHE'S BEEN WITH US JUST 2 WEEKS.
YOUR GRACE. SISTER.
WHY ARE YOU CROUCHING
LIKE THAT, SISTER?
WELL... WELL, I OFTEN
STAND LIKE THIS, YOUR GRACE.
OH.
I WAS JUST LOOKING
AT YOUR CLASSROOM.
OH, GREAT PLACE IF
YOU'RE A MOLE, HUH?
I... I MEAN, THAT'LL ALL CHANGE
NOW THAT SENOR RAMIREZ
HAS DONATED HIS LAND
FOR THE NEW SCHOOL.
OH, YES, THE REVEREND MOTHER
WAS TELLING ME ABOUT THAT.
AND I SHOULD LIKE TO
MEET THIS SENOR RAMIREZ
TO THANK HIM FOR HIS GENEROSITY.
OH, I'M SURE HE'LL GET
QUITE A KICK OUT OF IT,
AND YOU'LL LIKE HIM,
TOO. HE'S A GREAT GUY.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR INFORMATION,
SISTER. YOU MAY LEAVE NOW.
AFTER YOU.
SISTER BERTRILLE,
YOUR CLASS IS WAITING.
RIGHT.
DOES SHE ALWAYS USE THAT
METHOD OF TRANSPORTATION?
I WISH SHE DID.
[stuttering] UH, SISTER BERTRILLE
IS SOMEWHAT UNORTHODOX,
BUT HER INTENTIONS ARE GOOD.
I'M SURE THEY ARE.
REVEREND MOTHER, I AM ANXIOUS
TO MEET THIS SENOR RAMIREZ.
HE MUST BE A VERY DEVOUT MAN.
I'M SURE HE IS,
ABOUT SOME THINGS.
(Carlos) I'LL RAISE YOU
1,000.
OH, HONEY, DON'T YOU
THINK YOU OUGHT TO QUIT?
YOU'VE BEEN LOSING
FOR 8 STRAIGHT HOURS.
MY LUCK'S JUST
ABOUT TO CHANGE NOW.
I CALL.
FLUSH.
FULL BOAT.
WELL... [sighing]
THAT SEES ME OUT.
DO YOU KNOW HOW
MUCH YOU LOST, CARLOS?
SURE. EVERYTHING.
NOT EVERYTHING. YOU
STILL GOT YOUR BOAT.
NO, NO. THAT I
WOULD LIKE TO KEEP.
YEAH, BUT TONY
HERE'S GOT A POINT.
I MEAN, WE HATE TO QUIT WITHOUT GIVING
YOU A CHANCE TO GET YOUR MONEY BACK.
HOW ABOUT YOU PUT UP YOUR
BOAT AGAINST EVERYTHING YOU LOST.
OH, NO, NO. THE CARDS
AREN'T ON MY SIDE TODAY.
IT DON'T HAVE TO BE
POKER. YOU NAME THE BET.
♪ [children singing]
WELL, WHAT IS IT, HONEY?
[shushing]
(Bertrille) ♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE
OF WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPIEST ♪
♪ AND THEN WE'LL TRY
TO MAKE IT COME TRUE ♪
♪ PAINT ME A PICTURE AND THEN
I'LL PAINT A PICTURE FOR YOU ♪
DID YOU SAY ANY BET?
YEAH, SURE.
GENTLEMEN, YOU HAVE A WAGER.
WHAT'S THE BET?
COME HERE.
[children chattering]
(Bertrille) ALL RIGHT, KIDS. COME
ON, LET'S GO. PEDRO, HURRY UP.
DON'T HOG THE WATER.
AH, COME ON, KIDS.
I'LL BET MY YACHT
AGAINST MY LOSSES
THAT WITHIN 8 HOURS, YOU'RE
GOING TO SEE THAT NUN FLY.
[scoffs]
HEY, I MEAN, WHAT
KIND OF BET IS THAT?
ANYBODY CAN BUY
AN AIRLINE TICKET.
OH, NO, YOU'RE GOING
TO SEE HER FLY UNAIDED.
OH, CARLOS, YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO START THAT AGAIN!
WAIT A MINUTE. ARE
YOU TRYING TO TELL US
THAT YOU THINK
THAT NUNS CAN FLY?
OH, NO. NOT ALL NUNS.
THAT ONE.
[chuckling] THE... THE
JOKE'S OVER, GUYS.
CARLOS IS JUST PUTTING
YOU ON, WEREN'T YOU, CARLOS?
OH, NO. I'M PUTTING HER UP.
LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
YOU'RE WILLING TO BET YOUR
BOAT THAT THE LITTLE NUN CAN...
THAT'S VERY GOOD.
CAN YOU DO BIRD CALLS, TOO?
NOW GENTLEMEN, IS IT A BET?
YOU MUST BE CRAZY, CARLOS.
THERE'S AN OLD SPANISH SAYING
[speaking Spanish]
WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
[in English] PUT UP OR SHUT UP.
CARLOS, I CAN'T FLY FOR MONEY.
WELL, WHY NOT? ARE YOU AFRAID
OF LOSING YOUR AMATEUR STANDING?
I CAN'T FLY, PERIOD.
I'VE BEEN GROUNDED.
BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
THERE'S A STRONG TRADE
WIND. THE WEATHER IS PERFECT.
I PROMISED THE REVEREND
MOTHER I WOULDN'T FLY
WHILE THE BISHOP
WAS IN PUERTO RICO.
BUT YOU'VE GOT TO.
IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR YOU, I WOULDN'T
HAVE TRIED TO MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME
AND GAMBLED SO STUPIDLY.
WELL, CARLOS, I'M
REALLY SORRY, BUT I...
OH, LISTEN, DON'T YOU
THINK YOU OWE ME THIS?
OWE YOU? YES.
I DONATED THE LAND
TO THE CONVENT
WHEN I SAW YOU FLY
THE FIRST TIME, RIGHT?
YES. NOW, WHEN I LEARNED THAT
THAT WAS NOT A VISION, I
DIDN'T TAKE THE LAND BACK.
BUT I HAVEN'T SIGNED
THE PAPERS YET.
YOU'D WELCH ON YOUR PROMISE?
WELL, MY YACHT
MEANS A LOT TO ME.
WELL, I'LL TRY AND GET PERMISSION
FROM THE REVEREND MOTHER,
BUT IT'S A LONG SHOT.
SISTER, I'VE BEEN BACKING
LONG SHOTS ALL MY LIFE.
SWELL, BUT YOU NEVER BET ON
THE REVEREND MOTHER BEFORE.
REVEREND MOTHER!
REVEREND MOTHER!
[station wagon engine starting]
OH, HI, YOUR GRACE.
UH, REVEREND MOTHER,
I NEED YOUR ADVICE.
WE HAVE NO TIME NOW, SISTER.
UH, HIS GRACE AND I
ARE GOING INTO TOWN.
BUT IT'S ABOUT, UH,
CONVENT POLICY.
WELL, SISTER, YOU WILL HAVE TO LEARN
TO MAKE SOME DECISIONS BY YOURSELF.
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, YOUR GRACE?
NOW, YOU JUST ASK YOURSELF, "IS
IT FOR THE GOOD OF THE CONVENT?"
THE ANSWER WILL BE APPARENT.
WELL, I GUESS THAT SETTLES THAT.
OK, CARLOS, I'LL MAKE
ONE PASS OVER THE YACHT.
BUT YOU BETTER TELL YOUR
FRIENDS TO KEEP THEIR EYES PEELED
BECAUSE I DON'T
PLAN ON ANY ENCORES.
ONCE WILL BE ENOUGH, SISTER.
YEAH, IT'LL BE MORE THAN
ENOUGH IF THE BISHOP SEES ME.
NOW, WE BETTER
SYNCHRONIZE OUR WATCHES.
HELLO. HELLO.
WHAT'S THE MATTER? I JUST
REMEMBERED. I DON'T HAVE A WATCH.
WELL, ANYWAY, LOOK
FOR ME IN 4 MINUTES.
FINE.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN' FOR?
THE NUN. WHO ELSE?
[laughing] ARE YOU KIDDIN'?
I GOT A FEELING THIS
IS A REAL SUCKER BET.
IT SMELLS LIKE A
SET-UP, YOU KNOW, LOU.
I MEAN, WHY WOULD A
SHARP GUY LIKE CARLOS
BET ON A FLYING NUN UNLESS HE
HAD SOME KIND OF INSIDE INFORMATION?
'CAUSE IT'S ALL IN HIS MIND,
THAT'S WHY. DOTTIE TOLD US THAT.
I DON'T KNOW. I MEAN, THAT
MIGHT BE PART OF THE SET-UP.
AND WHAT IF SHE'S SOME
KIND OF, UH, SKY DIVER.
I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING, TONY. IF
CARLOS CAN SHOW US A NUN FLYING,
OR EVEN SKY DIVING, I'M
WILLING TO GIVE HIM THE MONEY.
SHE'S COMING OVER IN 3 MINUTES.
LEVEL WITH US, CARLOS. THIS
IS SOME KIND OF JOKE, RIGHT?
I CAN'T AFFORD THIS
TYPE OF JOKE, LOU.
NOW, YOU HAVE TO PROMISE ME
THAT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE WILL
REMAIN JUST BETWEEN THE THREE OF US.
SURE, SURE. BUT WHAT ABOUT THEM?
THANK YOU, YOUR GRACE.
OH, SENOR RAMIREZ, I WOULD
LIKE TO INTRODUCE BISHOP DILLION.
OH, VERY NICE TO
MEET YOU, YOUR GRACE.
BUT, I AM, UH, RATHER
BUSY RIGHT NOW.
WELL, I JUST WANTED TO
THANK YOU PERSONALLY
FOR YOUR GENEROUS
GIFT OF YOUR LAND.
WELL, THANK YOU, YOUR GRACE,
BUT I'M, UH, EXPECTING
A VISITOR NOW.
SHE THE ONE WHO FLIES?
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
THIS IS MOTHER SUPERIOR
FROM CONVENT SAN TANCO
AND THIS IS BISHOP DILLION.
THEY WERE JUST LEAVING.
COULD I TAKE A MOMENT TO LOOK AROUND?
I-I'VE NEVER BEEN ON A YACHT BEFORE.
OH, WELL, OF COURSE.
I'LL SHOW YOU THE CABIN.
IN A MOMENT. YES.
THE WATER HERE IS SO BLUE.
HOLY TOLEDO, THERE SHE IS!
YOUR GRACE!
I'M EXTREMELY SORRY.
I'M AFRAID I... I CAN'T SWIM!
(Carlos) HOLD ON, YOUR GRACE.
MR. BISHOP, I'LL
GET A LIFE BELT!
(Bishop Dillion) I'M
AFRAID I... I CAN'T SWIM.
I CAN'T SWIM.
JUST RELAX, YOUR GRACE.
I'M A GREAT SWIMMER.
WELL, I MUST SAY,
IT WAS VERY NICE
OF SENOR RAMIREZ TO
LEND ME THESE DRY CLOTHES.
YEAH. LOOKS GREAT
ON YOU, YOUR GRACE.
YOU SHOULD WEAR
YELLOW MORE OFTEN.
SISTER.
I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND
HOW I FELL OVERBOARD.
AND HOW DID YOU REACH
MY SIDE SO QUICKLY?
YOU... YOU... YOU SEEMED
TO COME FROM NOWHERE.
OH, I WAS JUST IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD,
AND I SAW YOU HAVING PROBLEMS,
SO I JUST DOVE RIGHT IN.
WELL,
I'M SURE MY CLOTHES
ARE DRY BY NOW. YES.
THANK YOU AGAIN,
SISTER BERTRILLE.
YOU SHOULD BE IN THE OLYMPICS.
IN WHAT CATEGORY?
WHY, SWIMMING, OF COURSE.
OH, SWIMMING.
THAT IS, UNLESS YOU
HAVE OTHER TALENTS, TOO.
GOODBYE, SISTER
BERTRILLE. YOUR GRACE.
AND I'LL SEE YOU LATER, REVEREND
MOTHER. YES, YOUR GRACE.
[door opening]
[door closing]
I'M SORRY I HAD TO
FLY, REVEREND MOTHER,
BUT I FELT IT WAS FOR THE
GOOD OF THE CONVENT. SISTER...
YES, I UNDERSTAND THE
PROBLEM YOU FACED.
BUT IN THE FUTURE, I
THINK IT MIGHT BE BETTER
IF YOU DIDN'T SEE SENOR
RAMIREZ SO FREQUENTLY.
THAT WILL BE ALL.
YOU CAN GO, SISTER.
SISTER.
JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY, HOW
DID HIS GRACE FALL OVERBOARD?
I DON'T KNOW.
IT COULD HAVE BEEN A GUST
OF WIND, REVEREND MOTHER.
YOU KNOW, THE WIND CAN DO
STRANGE THINGS IN SAN JUAN.
DON'T REMIND ME,
SISTER. DON'T REMIND ME.