The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 3, Episode 23 - The Blessed Event - full transcript

Wilma, you all right?

Yes, Fred.

Whenever you're
ready to go,

Just call.

Fred, I'm trying
to sleep.

I just wanted to let you
know I'm on the job.

Whenever you're ready,
I'm ready.

Just say the word.

Calm and cool
Flintstone--That's me.

Fred.

It's time!



Don't panic,
Wilma old girl.

Old reliable
is on his way!

Fred!

Don't lift anything.
I'll do it all.

Everything's
under control.

I'm ready!

I'm not!

[Squawk]

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with the family
down the street



Through the courtesy

Of Fred's two feet

When you're with
the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo
time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

All right, men.
Let's go.

Hut 2, hut 2, hut 2.

Up, down. Hut 2.
Up, down.

Come on, now, let's build up
those puny leg muscles.

1, 2. Hut 2.

Hut 2, come on,
keep working.

You want to look
like me, don't you?

All right, Flintstone.

Watch that posture.
Stomach in. Chest out.

Ok. That's enough.

Ooh...ooh...

gee, I'm glad
that's over.

Five more minutes
on the equipment, men,

Then knock off.

[Wimpy voice]
oh, boy. That suit
sure is heavy.

I got to hand it
to you, Fred.

I never thought
you'd be so calm.

Look, Barney-Boy, just because
a man's wife is having a baby,

Is no reason for him
to panic.

Besides, I got to get
in good shape

For walking the floor.

And as godfather, I got to
get in shape, too.

Some shape.

I'll bet it'll be
a beautiful baby, Fred.

Of course it's gonna
be beautiful.

It's gonna look just like me.
I was a pretty baby.

Well, it's hard
to believe,

But I'll take
your word for it.

Ha ha ha.

Well, my baby's going to be
proud of his father.

Look at that muscle--
Big as a potato.

Mine's like
a potato, too.

Well, uh...
mashed potato.

Ha ha ha. Well, that's
enough for today.

I got to meet Wilma
at the doctor's.

Ow! My arm!
I must have overdid it.

I'll stop by brick's office,
get some liniment.

[Wimpy voice]
one minute.

Let's go, windy.

Blow, windy. Blow.

[Deep voice]
now my shape's ok.

Yeah, but look at mine.

Yes, Flintstone?

My arm's sore.

You got anything
to put on it?

Sure. Here's a bottle
of rubbing alcohol.

Thanks.

Boy, you sure got
some physique.

Did you get it all
by exercise?

Yeah, exercise...
and lots of air.

Yeah. My air.

"Dr. Rockpile,
baby doctor."

Dr. Rockpile's office.

Oh, yes, ma'am.

Now, I'll give you
an appointment for tomorrow.

Yes?

My name's
Fred Flintstone.

I'm here
to pick up my wife.

[Whistles]

Now hear this.

Mr. Flintstone is here.

I repeat--
Mr. Flintstone is here.

[Squawk]

Mr. Flintstone
is here.

[Squawk]

Hi, Wilma.
Hi, doc.

How's our
little mother?

Just fine,
mr. Flintstone.

Now, I wonder if I could
see you for a minute.

Me? Well, sure thing, doc.

I have some shopping
to do, Fred.

I'll take the car
and see you at home.

Ok, Wilma.
Drive carefully, dear.

What is it, doc?

Going to give me
a little physical?

Excuse me.
I'll need a new needle.

All I need is a little sample
of your blood.

Oh, sure, doc.
Help your--

A sample
of my bl-Blood?

That's right.

This won't
take a sec.

These big, strong guys
do it every time.

[Fred] put me down.
Put me down!

All right,
crazy legs,

But let's stay put now.

Oh, come on, now.

I'm not getting
10 cents a mile

To follow you around.

Come out, mr. Flintstone.
This won't hurt a bit.

Doc, I think I should tell
you--I'm anemic.

Come, come.
It's painless.

Haven't you ever been
a blood donor?

A blood donor?

I'm not even
a blood owner.

You look pretty healthy to me.

Besides, I only want
a small sample.

I can't spare it.

What I have
is in constant use.

We have a problem
here, nurse.

But I'm going to get
to the bottom of it.

Ouch! Ow! No! No!
I'm too young to die!

There. Was that
so painful?

Why, no. I didn't
feel a thing.

Ha ha hee.

That was easy.
You want some more?

No. This will be enough.

Ok, doc, but anytime you want
another sample,

Just let me know.

Hmm...

funny-Looking blood.

Better run a test
on it, nurse,

But I'm sure
he's all right.

He seemed happy enough.

[Sniff sniff]

[Hiccup]

Wowee! If you had his blood,
you'd be happy, too.

Whoopee!

It's the only way
to fly.

Hi, Wilma.

Oh, hello, Fred.
What did the doctor want?

Ooh,
nothing much.

Just a little
blood test.

Were you nervous?

Me? Are you kidding?
Old iron nerves?

Nothing upsets me.

What did the doctor
say to you?

Oh, nothing.
He said everything's fine.

And we can expect the baby
any day now.

That's ni--
Any day now?

Wilma, are you sure
you're all right?

You want some pickles?
Ice cream?

Tell me. Anything.

Fred, what are
you doing?

You shouldn't
be working, Wilma.

You should
be resting.

Outside, dino!

How many times
have I told you

Not to sleep
on the bed!

But he always does.

Dino can sleep
outside, Wilma.

You need rest.

Now, just lie
there, darling,

And then relax.

Quiet. That's
what you need.

Quiet.

[Tick-Tock
tick-Tock]

Quiet!

Thank you, Fred.

I'll see to it
that it's quiet, dear.

[Chatter chatter]

What's that?

[Chatter chatter]

Shut that thing off!
Wilma needs quiet!

What am I gonna do
about all this tall grass?

Well, here's
an eyebrow tweezer.

Pull the grass out
a blade at a time.

But be quiet
about it!

Oh, boy.

Fred, you sure are
one nervous father.

Me? Nervous?
Don't be ridiculous.

[Screech]

[Arr arr arr]

[Meow]

Quiet!

I want quiet!
Do you understand?

Now, watch it!

[Snoring]

Wilma, you all right?

Yes, Fred.

Whenever you're
ready to go,

Just call.

Fred, I'm trying
to sleep.

I just wanted to let you
know I'm on the job.

Whenever you're ready,
I'm ready.

Just say the word.

Calm and cool
Flintstone--That's me.

Fred.

It's time!

Don't panic,
Wilma old girl.

Old reliable
is on his way!

Fred!

Don't lift anything.
I'll do it all.

Everything's
under control.

I'm ready!

I'm not!

I just wanted to tell you
to go to sleep.

Ok. If it'll
make you happy,

I'll go to sleep.

I'll sleep
like a baby.

An explosion
couldn't wake me up.

Ah...

[snoring]

[Tick-Tock tick-Tock]

[Cuckoo]

[Cuckoo]

[Cuckoo]

[Yawn]

Oh, boy.

I must be cuckoo
to be up at this hour.

Wilma,
I can't sleep.

What's wrong now, Fred?

Wilma, are you sure

You want to go through
with this?

I wish you'd
relax, Fred.

Look at me.
I'm calm.

Why shouldn't
you be?

Your wife isn't
having a baby.

Hey, what are
you doing?

I just wanted to--

Let me do it.

Whatever you want,
I'll always get it.

Here you are, Wilma.

How about some shrimp
and marmalade compote?

Uh-Uh.

A chocolate-Covered
hard-Boiled egg on a stick?

- Uh-Uh.
- You'll love this.

Sardines smothered
in prune whip.

No? Oysters
a la mode.

Fred, are you off--

Wait wait wait.
Don't tell me.

You want
a sandwich.

Lobster and hot fudge
on pound cake.

- No!
- Oh, I give up.

What were you
going to get?

A glass of water.

Water? Boy,
you don't know nothing

About having a baby.

Fred, please
try to relax.

Oh, sure, sure.
It's easy for you.

All you have to do
is tell me

You're ready, and
your job's done.

And what do you
have to do?

Are you kidding?

I got to call the
doctor, get the car,

Come in and get your
suitcase,

Come back and get you,

Then drive to the
hospital.

You're hardly involved
in this thing at all.

I had no idea what
you fathers go through.

Well, now you know.

But it could be days
before I'm ready

To go to the hospital.

You'll be
a nervous wreck.

Me? Nervous?
Don't worry.

I'm one father who's
going to remain calm.

Oh, Wilma,
you're wonderful,

Doing laundry now.

I don't know how
you can be so calm.

It's the only thing
I've been able to do.

Fred won't let me
lift a finger.

This morning, he even
insisted on helping me

With the dishes.

Fred helped
with the dishes?

He washed, and
I swept them up.

How's Fred doing
otherwise?

He's in the house.

Why don't you go in and see
for yourself.

You better sit down, Fred.

You're wearing a groove
in the floor.

Look at Wilma
out there.

How can she be so calm

When she knows
what I'm going through?

How are you,
Fred?

How do you think I am?

This waiting, waiting,
waiting is tough!

Betty, you go back
out here and tell Wilma

If she doesn't hurry,

I'll go to the hospital
without her.

Why are you
so jittery, Fred?

Who--Who's jittery?

I just want everything
to go smooth.

Suppose we don't get
to the hospital in time.

Why don't
you have

A dress
rehearsal

And check
it out?

Why, that's ridic--

That's a great idea!

Yeah. Yeah.
We'll have a dry run.

Barney, you be Wilma.

And we'll time how long
it takes us

To get to the hospital.

All right? All right?
Ready for the countdown?

10, 9, 8...

how do I look, Fred?

Barney, what are you
wearing that for?

Well, you told me to be Wilma.
I'm just doing what you said.

Ok, ok. Now,
let's get started.

You ready, Barney--
I mean Wilma?

[Imitating Wilma]
ready on the firing line,

Hubby, dear.

Ha ha ha.

Ok, ok.

1--I go to the closet
and get the suitcase.

2--Call the doctor.

Hello, doctor?
I'm calling for the Flintstones.

They're leaving
for the hospital.

Good, good, good.

And 3--I help Wilma
on with her coat,

And we're off!

Keep an eye on Wilma, Betty,
while we check this out.

[Imitating Wilma]
watch the road, Fred.

You're over too far
on the left.

Uh-Uh. Don't look at me.
Look at the road.

Careful.
You're going too fast.

Watch out for the bump.

Will you cut that out?

How can you yell
at me like that,

In my condition?

You're not fit to be
the father of my child.

Oh, what is this?

Well, I'm just trying
to act like Wilma.

Well, you're
overdoing it.

All right. Pull over.

[Screech]

What's the big rush?

I'm taking my wife
to the hospital.

She's having a baby.

I got to hand it
to you, buddy,

You sure got
intestinal fortitude.

What do you mean?

Marrying a dame

Who looks
like that

And raising
a family.

Why, the baby's liable
to look like--A baby?

You're having a baby?

Oh, my! A--A baby!

Now, follow me.

A baby!

Oops! Forgot my motorcycle.

[Crash]

Oh, boy.

We're sure starting off
with a bang.

Here. Let me help you
out of the car, lady.

Thank you, officer.

In my delicate condition,
I have to be careful.

Hey, wait for me!

Did you hurt
yourself, dear?

Oops. Forgot the suitcase.

Thanks for everything,
officer.

And my wife makes me
carry the garbage.

Uh-Oh. Looks like
another father bit the dust.

Will you put me down?

Certainly, dear.

Sometimes I don't think
you have a brain in your head!

That's no way to talk to
your wife in her condition!

That's not my wife!

We're just
good friends.

You think I'd be
married to that?

I wouldn't
have you.

Aren't you
having a baby?

No. We're just
rehearsing.

We just wanted to find out
how long it takes

To have a baby.

Not bad, barn.

We did it in 5 minutes
and 16 seconds.

Now we're ready
for anything.

And now you can take off

That stupid-Looking
outfit.

I don't know how Wilma
puts up with you.

Ha ha ha!

We got it made, Barney.

Now we know
the exact timing.

We know our duties.

Everything should go off
smooth as silk.

Just leave the door open.

When the time comes,
every second we save will help.

[Wilma]
Fred!

What, dear?

I'm ready.

That's ni--
You're ready?

She's ready!

Sh-She's ready!
I got it!

[Wilma]
call the doctor, Fred.

The--The doctor.

Yeah. The doctor.

No, no, no, Barney.

You grab the suitcase.
I'll call.

Hello, dr. Rockpile.
This is Fred hospital.

I'm taking my wife
to the Flintstone.

Come on, Barney!
Let's go!

Now, don't--
Don't worry, Wilma.

We'll make it
in plenty of time.

Fred, there's something
I think you ought to know.

Not now. Wilma's
the important thing.

That's what I'm trying
to tell you.

Wilma isn't here.

Wh-What?

[Screech]

Fred!

Fred?

He must be out
in the kitchen.

Barney, can't I trust you
to get anything straight?

You sure are hopeless.

Don't worry, Wilma.
We have plenty of time.

Your freddy's ready.

Barney,
where's Fred?

He's out in the car
with you.

I'm not out
in the car, Barney.

Keep covered, dear.

Can't have you catching
cold now, can we?

I've never told you
this before, dear,

But you've
been wonderful

Through
this whole thing.

I don't deserve you,
Wilma, dear.

All right. Pull over.

I'm taking my wife
to the hospital.

Another wife?

What are you,
an arabian prince?

How many wives
do you have?

No, no, no, officer,
you don't understand.

- You see--
- Wow.

The first one
was bad enough.

This one's
a dog!

Now, just a minute!

You can't talk that way
about my wife!

Sorry, dear.
You'll have to excuse--

Holy smokes! Dino!
You goofy mutt!

Ooh, when we get home,

I'm gonna chain you
in the yard.

I'll never let you
inside the house again.

Boy, has he got
his women trained.

Don't worry, Wilma.

I'll get you
to the hospital in time.

Here comes Fred. Fred!

Barney, how can you foul
things up like this?

Let's go.

We got it straight
now, Wilma.

If only Barney
remains calm.

Oh, I'm calm, Fred,

But I don't
think Wilma is.

Barney, what did
you do with Wilma?

Well, nothing, Fred.

You put her
in your car.

Well, what did you let me
do that for, ya numbskull?

Back up! Back up!

Let's get it straight,
now, Barney.

I ride with Wilma.

Right, Fred.
Let's go.

Uh-Oh. Looks like
I did it again.

The baby will be
7 years old

By the time we get
to the hospital.

Bundle up, darling.
It's chilly.

Hi, officer.
I got it right this time.

What are
you doing now,

Running empties?

I'm taking the little woman
to the hos--

I lost her!

You better start
keeping books,

Buddy.

Oh, boy.

I never knew having a baby
was this much trouble!

[Screech]

Ok. Now we're all present
and accounted for.

Take off.

Take off what?

Will you drive us
to the hospital?

All right!
All right!

He wasn't like this
at rehearsal.

Here's the hospital.

Now, watch your step,
Wilma.

Hurry up with
the suitcase, Barney.

I'm right
behind you, Fred.

I'm looking for my wife.
What room is she in?

- What's the name?
- Flintstone.

She just came in
with my best friend.

Look, mister, we don't
want any trouble here.

What kind of a hospital
is this?

This is a hotel.

The hospital's
across the street.

We're having a baby.

That is,
she's having a baby.

Just relax, sir.

Oh, orderly, take
this lady to room 12.

Now, what's your name?

Rubble.
Barney rubble.

And her name?

Wilma.

That's all the information
I need for now.

You can go
to the waiting room.

Oh, thank you, nurse.

Hello, registry?

I've just given room 12
to mrs. Rubble.

Husband's name's Barney.

Ok.

Doo doo doo
do do doo do dee

Hey, Barney. Barney,
where's Wilma?

Well, they're taking her
to her room, Fred.

I--I don't think I'm
going to make it, barn.

How long will it take
now?

Hey, there's
a couple of doctors.

Maybe they can tell us
something.

You're too intense, len.

You've turned everyone
in the hospital

Against you.

What do you
want me to do?

You might try smiling
once in a while.

[Fred]
I beg your pardon,

I wonder if you doctors
could help me.

Not now.
We're busy.

You see, len?
That's just what I mean.

Hmm. I think I've seen
those two before.

Boil water! Boil water!
I need hot--

Dr. Rockpile,
is it for Wilma's baby?

No! I'm making tea.
Hot water! Hot water!

Guess there's
nothing to do

But wait, Fred.

Are you nervous
about your new baby?

No, no. There's nothing
to having a baby.

I was up and around
three hours

After mrs. Brickley
had the last one.

Then why are you
so shaky?

Well, the first time
we came here,

My wife ate two eggs
for breakfast

And had twins.

The next time, she ate
a triple-Decker sandwich

And had triplets.

Well, what are you
so nervous about now?

This morning, she had
a dozen doughnuts!

Oh, me! Oh, my!

Oh, me!

Hey, you must
be tired, Fred.

Sit down and let me
pace for you.

Oh, thanks, Barney.

Faster, barn.
Faster.

I'm more nervous
than that.

And--And lower
your head.

I'm worried.

It's uncomfortable
on the back.

I don't mind.

Ok. It's your back.

I think you're
getting tired, Fred.

Mind if I sit down?

No. I think I can go
a little longer.

- Mr. Rubble...
- what?

Congratulations.
You're a father.

Barney, why didn't
you tell me?

Well, I didn't know.
Are you sure?

I'm positive.

Ooh, I better go
home and tell Betty.

What about my baby--
Flintstone?

Flintstone?
Flintstone...

No. There's no
Flintstone on my list.

Maybe Wilma
changed her mind.

Wilma! Well, that's
mrs. Rubble's name.

No, no. That's my wife.
Rubble brought her in.

Oh. Then you'd better
follow me.

You mean Wilma's
had the baby?

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Yours is
right in there.

Barney,
I hit the jackpot!

Oh! They're not
all yours.

You go in
and see your wife,

And I'll bring
the baby to you.

Is it a goy or a birl--
A boy or girl?

Come on, come on.

Let's see Wilma.
She'll know.

Hello, Fred.

H-How are you, Wilma?

Fine.

Have you seen
the baby?

The nurse is
bringing it in.

Well, is it
a boy or a girl?

Yeah, Wilma.
What is it?

Here's
your new daughter,

Mr. Flintstone.

A girl!

Wilma, she's beautiful!
She looks just like you!

A chip off
the old block,

Huh, Fred?

More like a pebble
off the old Flintstone.

What a wonderful name!

Pebbles Flintstone.

Say, that ain't bad!

She looks like
a pebbles Flintstone.

Oh, isn't that cute?

The nurse
dressed her up.

What does baby say?
Do you like your name?

Abba...

dabba...

goo!

Goo...

[Fred] are there
any questions?

[Laughing]

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday, maybe Fred

Will win the fight

Then that cat will stay out

For the night

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

We'll have a gay old time

Wilma!