The Fall Guy (1981–1986): Season 1, Episode 16 - The Snow Job - full transcript

♪ WELL, I'M NOT THE
KIND TO KISS AND TELL ♪

♪ BUT I'VE BEEN
SEEN WITH FARRAH ♪

♪ I'VE NEVER BEEN
WITH ANYTHING LESS ♪

♪ THAN A NINE SO FINE ♪

♪ I'VE BEEN ON FIRE
WITH SALLY FIELD ♪

♪ GONE FAST WITH
A GIRL NAMED BO ♪

♪ BUT SOMEHOW THEY
JUST DON'T END UP AS MINE ♪

♪ IT'S A DEATH-DEFYIN'
LIFE I LEAD ♪

♪ I TAKE MY CHANCES ♪

♪ I DIE FOR A LIVIN' IN
THE MOVIES AND TV ♪

[Siren Wailing]



♪ BUT THE HARDEST
THING I EVER DO ♪

♪ IS WATCH MY LEADING LADIES ♪

♪ KISS SOME OTHER GUY
WHILE I'M BANDAGIN' MY KNEE ♪

♪ I MIGHT FALL FROM
A TALL BUILDIN' ♪

♪ I MIGHT ROLL A BRAND-NEW CAR ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I'M THE
UNKNOWN STUNTMAN ♪

♪ THAT MADE
REDFORD SUCH A STAR ♪

♪♪ [Women Vocalizing]

♪ I'VE NEVER SPENT
MUCH TIME IN SCHOOL ♪

♪ BUT I'VE TAUGHT
LADIES PLENTY ♪

♪ IT'S TRUE I HIRE MY
BODY OUT FOR PAY ♪

♪ HEY, HEY ♪

♪ I'VE GOTTEN BURNED
OVER CHERYL TIEGS ♪

♪ BLOWN UP FOR RAQUEL WELCH ♪



♪ BUT WHEN I WIND UP IN
THE HAY, IT'S ONLY HAY ♪

♪ HEY, HEY ♪

♪ I MIGHT JUMP AN
OPEN DRAWBRIDGE ♪

♪ OR TARZAN FROM A VINE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I'M THE
UNKNOWN STUNTMAN ♪

♪ THAT MAKES EASTWOOD
LOOK SO FINE ♪♪

[Colt Narrating] THIS IS THE STORY OF
ONE OF AMERICA'S GREAT UNSUNG HEROES.

I MEAN, YOU'VE SEEN HIM, BUT
YOU NEVER KNEW WHO HE WAS.

YOU'VE CHEERED FOR
HIM AND CRIED FOR HIM,

WOMEN HAVE WANTED
TO DIE FOR HIM.

BUT DID HE EVER GET ANY
CREDIT? OR THE GIRL? NO.

HE WAS WHAT WE CALL A STUNTMAN.

AND THE REASON I'M TALKIN'
SO FONDLY ABOUT HIM IS...

WELL, BECAUSE IT'S
ME, COLT SEAVERS.

ANYWAY, PICTURE WORK ISN'T
WALL-TO-WALL EMPLOYMENT.

SO MAYBE YOU WONDER HOW A
GUY KEEPS HIS HEAD TOGETHER.

WELL, ONE WAY IS TO
WAIT BY THE PHONE...

AND WAIT... AND WAIT.

THE OTHER IS TO TAKE AN OCCASIONAL
JOB FOR THE COURT SYSTEM...

OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,

WHERE A MAN IS CONSIDERED
INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY.

UNFORTUNATELY, SOMETIMES
A LOT OF THESE PEOPLE...

GET OUT OF JAIL ON
WHAT WE CALL BAIL.

AND THEY RUN LIKE HELL.

THAT'S WHERE I COME IN. I SOMETIMES
PICK UP RENT MONEY TRYIN' TO FIND THEM...

AND BRING THEM BACK TO JUSTICE.

BUT RIGHT NOW, I'M
IN ASPEN, COLORADO,

TRYIN' TO FIT FOUR DAYS OF STUNT
WORK AND FIVE DAYS OF SKIING...

INTO A SEVEN-DAY WEEK.

[Woman Giggling, Laughing]

[Giggling, Laughing Continue]

[Man] ROBIN! GET OUT OF HERE!

ROBIN! COME BACK HERE!

[Gasps]

GET OUT OF MY WAY, ANDY.
THE MAN'S CALLING FOR YOU.

ANDY, PLEASE.

COME ON, ROBIN.
WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT.

COME ON, MRS.
STEVENS. TALK'S GOOD.

YOU'LL FEEL BETTER.

THANKS, ANDY.

I'LL JOIN YOU LATER.

OKAY. GET OUT OF MY
WAY. GET OVER THERE.

ROBIN, DON'T BE STUPID.

ROBIN, PLEASE LISTEN TO HIM.

[Scoffs] YOU LISTEN
TO HIM, HONEY.

I ALREADY TRIED THAT,
AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT ME.

JORDAN, IF YOU EVER
TRY TO COME AFTER ME,

I'LL TELL THE WHOLE
WORLD ABOUT YOU.

I'LL TELL 'EM EVERYTHING,
AND I MEAN EVERYTHING.

NO! MR. STEVENS!

[Groans]

- MR. STEVENS! YOU ALL RIGHT?
- YES. GET HER!

SHE HAS TO BE OUT
THERE SOMEWHERE.

TRY THE GARAGE
WHILE I GET DRESSED.

[Jody] HURRY UP. LET'S GET
THOSE DECALS ON THE CAR.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ACTUALLY
WORKIN' WITH COLT SEAVERS,

EVEN IF IT IS ONLY A COMMERCIAL.

HEY, A STUNT'S JUST A STUNT.

IT DON'T KNOW IF IT'S IN A
COMMERCIAL OR STAR WARS.

"A STUNT'S JUST A STUNT."
THAT'S JUST THE WAY YOU SAID IT...

IN THAT ARTICLE YOU
DID WITH AMERICAN FILM.

YOU SAID THAT? I
HAD TO SAY SOMETHIN'.

I HAVE THE MAGAZINE
BACK AT THE LODGE.

I'LL MAKE YOU A COPY. OH, GREAT.

- COLT, THEY'RE ALMOST
READY FOR YOU.
- OKAY. BE RIGHT THERE.

WHO, UH... WHO WAS
THAT LITTLE SNOW BUNNY?

THAT'S NO SNOW BUNNY. THAT
WAS MY ASSISTANT... JODY BANKS.

ASSISTANT? [Chortles]

WHAT I HEARD IN
FILM SCHOOL'S TRUE.

THE STUNTMEN ARE THE ONES
WHO REALLY GET THE GIRLS.

- SHE REALLY WAS MY ASSISTANT.
- I THOUGHT HOWIE
WAS YOUR ASSISTANT.

HOWIE'S MY COUSIN
AND MY ASSISTANT.

TWO ASSISTANTS? THAT'S
PRACTICALLY AN ENTOURAGE.

AND YOU'RE... JUST A STUNTMAN.

JOSH, YOU'RE GONNA
LOVE HOLLYWOOD.

[Chuckles]

[People Cheering]

[Josh] LET'S DO IT.

COLT SEAVERS?

WHEN YOU START PICKIN' UP
SPEED, STOMP ON THAT PEDAL.

I WANT THIS BABY TO REALLY FLY.

WELL, MAYBE WE SHOULD'VE PUT SOME
WINGS ON IT. LIKE IN THAT BOND MOVIE.

I SAW IT AT FILMEX. JOSH, CAN
WE DO THIS? I'M GETTIN' COLD.

NEXT TIME, WE'LL DO
IT WITH THE WINGS.

OKAY, NOW REMEMBER,
DON'T FIGHT IT.

HAVE FUN. [Engine Starts, Revs]

ALL RIGHT. THIS WILL BE PICTURE.

[Engine Revving] YOU READY?

AND... GO FOR IT!

[Loud Thud]

HE DID IT! BEAUTIFUL. GORGEOUS!

CUT! PRINT IT!

LET'S GET DOWN THERE.
[People Cheering, Applauding]

OH, UH, JODY? WOULD
YOU LIKE A RIDE?

[Horn Honking]

HI. HI.

UM... UH, EXCUSE ME.

UH, ARE YOU GOING
BACK TO ASPEN NOW?

NO. WE'RE GOING DOWN TO
THE POST OF THE SKI JUMP.

THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH.
CAN I GET A RIDE WITH YOU?

SURE. JUMP IN. THANK YOU.

DID YOU GET IT? HOW
COULD YOU MISS IT?

CALIFORNIA PLATE... "FALL GUY."

I DON'T THINK HE'LL BE
HARD TO FIND. LET'S GO.

♪♪ [Background: Country Rock]

SHE RODE ALL THE WAY DOWN THE HILL
WITH YOU, AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN GET HER NAME?

SHE WASN'T VERY TALKATIVE.

AND SHE KEPT LOOKIN' OUT THE BACK
WINDOW, LIKE SOMEBODY WAS FOLLOWING HER.

WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT?

I'M READY TO CLIMB
INTO A NICE HOT TUB.

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO ALSO
CLIMBING INTO A NICE HOT TODDY?

I'D SAY THE TWO ARE
MEANT FOR EACH OTHER.

MISS, CAN I HAVE A HOT
TODDY AND A HOT CHOCOLATE?

MAYBE WE OUGHTA
ASK 'EM OVER, HUH?

[Both Chuckling] GUESS
THEY'RE DOIN' OKAY.

COLT, WHAT AM I DOIN' WRONG?

I MEAN, I'M A MACHO GUY,
RIGHT? I'M A STUNTMAN.

- AND I'M BY MYSELF.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY YOURSELF?

- YOU AIN'T ALONE. YOU'RE WITH ME.
- HEY, IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT.

WE'RE IN THE SNOW BUNNY
CAPITAL OF THE UNIVERSE.

DID YOU SEE THE SELECTION
AT THE BAR LAST NIGHT?

- MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE
IN THE BAR.
- TRUST ME.

NOTHING'S GONNA HAPPEN
IN THE BAR UNTIL AFTER 10:00.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY HAT? I
GOT THIS FOR THE TRIP TO ASPEN.

MAYBE I SHOULD'VE
GOTTEN THE WHITE ONE.

[Jody] COLT. HOWIE.

HI, GUYS. HI.

HOWIE, I LOVE YOUR HAT.

YOU WANNA TRY THE BAR, COLT?

HEY, YOU SAID NOTHIN'
HAPPENS IN THE BAR TILL 10:00.

BESIDES, I GOT A
DATE FOR DINNER.

HEY, GIRLS, OVER
HERE. COME ON DOWN.

HOWIE, JOSH, JODY, I'D LIKE YOU
TO MEET BAMBI AND THUMPER.

HI. HI. HOW ARE YOU?

- UH, BAMBI AND THUMPER?
- MM-HMM.

- COLT, WE'RE GONNA GO UP
TO OUR ROOM AND CHANGE NOW.
- WONDERFUL.

OKAY. BYE. BYE. BYE.

TWO OF NATURE'S
LOVELIEST CREATURES.

WHERE'D YOU FIND 'EM, COLT?

IN THE BAR... 'BOUT 6:00.

[Laughing]

YOU DON'T REALLY
HAVE TO CHANGE. RIGHT.

YOU'RE FINE WITH US JUST THE WAY
YOU ARE. IT'LL JUST TAKE A SECOND.

IF I WENT OUT LIKE THIS, I'D
PROBABLY COME BACK FROZEN STIFF,

HAVE ICICLES HANGING
ALL OVER MY... HAT.

WELL, WE'LL WARM YOU
UP. I'LL BET YOU WOULD.

COME ON IN, LADIES.
MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.

[Door Closes] ROBIN.

HELLO, COLT.

HEY, WHAT IS THIS? TELL YOU
THE TRUTH, I DON'T KNOW MYSELF.

I'LL BET YOU DON'T.
LET'S GET OUTTA HERE.

W-WAIT. GIRLS. JUST WAIT...

WAIT. WAIT A MINUTE.
SHE'S JUST AN OLD FRIEND.

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'
HERE? I'M SORRY.

WHERE'S YOUR HUSBAND,
THE CONGRESSMAN?

- THAT'S FINISHED.
- WHAT'S THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

I DISCOVERED HIM
WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

[Sighs] I EVEN TOOK
PICTURES OF THEM.

I WAS GONNA LEAVE HIM ANYWAY.

HE TRIED TO STOP ME,
AND I SHOT HIM. SHOT HIM?

[Crying] COLT.

WAIT JUST A MINUTE. NOW,
WHERE DID YOU SHOOT HIM?

[Sighs] IN THE LEG.

IT WAS SELF-DEFENSE. HE
TRIED TO SHOOT ME FIRST.

DID YOU REPORT THIS
TO THE SHERIFF? NO.

THERE WERE OTHER PEOPLE
THERE. AND THEY'LL ALL LIE FOR HIM.

YEAH, BUT STILL... [Knocking]

WHO IS IT? [Man] ROOM SERVICE.

ROOM SERVICE?
STAY THERE. ROOM...

DID YOU ORDER ANY
ROOM SERVICE? NO.

I THINK YOU'VE GOT
THE WRONG ROOM, PAL.

[Groans] [Man] GOOD
EVENING, SLICK.

WE DECIDE WHEN YOU NEED IT. ROOM SERVICE
WORKS A LITTLE DIFFERENT AROUND HERE.

WE DON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER.

NOW YOU SAW WHAT
HAPPENED TO JORDAN.

LISTEN, ROBIN, YOU'RE NEVER
GONNA GET OFF THIS MOUNTAIN.

SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST
GIVE ME THE PHOTOGRAPHS,

AND WE CAN FORGET THIS
LITTLE MISUNDERSTANDING?

NO. THOSE PHOTOGRAPHS ARE THE
ONLY THINGS THAT ARE KEEPING ME ALIVE.

AND THIS GUN.

NOW JUST BACK YOURSELVES
OUTTA MY WAY. GO ON.

[Grunts]

MMM. I WONDER HOW COLT'S DOIN'?

JODY, DON'T DO THAT TO ME.

COLT'S UP THERE HAVING
THE TIME OF HIS LIFE.

BOY, YOU'RE EVEN DUMBER
THAN YOU LOOK. [Groans]

BYE-BYE.

WHAT AN ENTRANCE! WHAT A STUNT!

[Howie] SOMETHING WRONG
WITH THE ELEVATOR, COLT?

THANK YOU, FELLAS. OOPS.
HAND ME THOSE BOOTS, JODY.

FROM THE WAY YOU DESCRIBED HER, SHE'S
DEFINITELY THE GIRL I DROVE DOWN THE HILL.

YEAH. WELL, WHEN I KNEW HER,
HER NAME WAS ROBIN WILSON.

SHE WASN'T MUCH OF AN ACTRESS, BUT AS A
PERSON SHE WAS SOMETHIN' KIND OF SPECIAL.

IF THINGS HAD GONE A LITTLE
DIFFERENT, YOU NEVER KNOW.

- WHAT HAPPENED?
- SHE GOT A BETTER OFFER... JORDAN STEVENS.

ISN'T HE A STATE SENATOR OR CONGRESSMAN
OR SOMETHING? YEAH. CONGRESSMAN.

ROBIN GREW UP IN A LITTLE TOWN
CLOSE BY HERE CALLED ROCK CREEK.

CAME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS,
MET STEVENS AT A PARTY.

SIX MONTHS LATER,
THEY WERE MARRIED.

- HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN
SINCE YOU'VE SEEN HER?
- UH, FIVE YEARS.

FIVE YEARS. I'D SAY YOU'RE LUCKY
SHE STAYED AWAY THAT LONG.

[Phone Ringing]
YEAH. I'LL GET IT.

YEAH, HELLO. [Big Jack]
HI, COLT. IT'S ME... JACK.

IT'S BIG JACK. YEAH, IT'S
ME. WHAT'D YOU FIND OUT?

WELL, I TALKED TO A FRIEND...

THAT WORKS FOR THE SECURITY COMPANY
THAT PROTECTS CONGRESSMAN STEVENS.

AND GET THIS ONE.
ACCORDING TO HIM,

STEVENS SHOT HIMSELF
WHILE CLEANING A GUN.

THEY'RE TRYING TO
COVER IT UP. THE ASPEN

SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT
HADN'T BEEN CALLED EITHER.

WHAT ELSE DID YOUR
FRIEND HAVE TO SAY?

WELL, JUST THAT
STEVENS AND HIS WIFE...

WERE AS HAPPY AS
ONE COULD EXPECT.

- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
- STEVENS KNOWS MORE GIRLS
THAN HUGH HEFNER.

ROBIN COULD CAUSE HIM A LOT MORE TROUBLE
BY DIVORCING HIM THAN BY SHOOTING HIM,

BECAUSE HE IS A SHOO-IN FOR THE
NEXT GOVERNOR OF HIS HOME STATE.

SHOOTING HIM MAKES NO SENSE AT
ALL UNLESS IT WAS REALLY SELF-DEFENSE.

- THAT'S JUST HOW
I WAS READING IT, COLT.
- WHAT ABOUT THAT ADDRESS?

- I KNOW HE'S GOT A HOME
SOMEWHERE HERE IN ASPEN.
- OH, WAIT A MINUTE.

- DEEP CANYON ROAD.
- WHAT'S THE NUMBER?

THAT IS THE NUMBER. HE
OWNS THE WHOLE CANYON.

OH. THANKS, BIG JACK.
BE TALKING TO YOU.

[Handset Settles In Cradle] WELL, POLITICS
SURE PAYS BETTER THAN STUNT WORK.

COLT, I'VE BEEN THINKING. SINCE
YOU HAVEN'T HEARD FROM ROBIN...

AND SINCE THE SHERIFF DOESN'T
KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT A SHOOTING,

MAYBE THOSE TWO GOONS
CAUGHT UP WITH ROBIN AFTER ALL.

IF THEY WERE STEVENS'S MEN, THEY
WOULD HAVE TAKEN HER BACK TO HIS HOUSE.

WHICH IS EXACTLY WHERE WE'RE
GOING FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

♪♪ [Background: Soft Rock]

♪♪ [Continues]

[Chattering]

AH, REUBEN.

HAVING A GOOD TIME?
I'M HERE, AREN'T I?

[Chuckling] I GUESS THAT'S
YOUR ULTIMATE COMPLIMENT.

HOW'S OUR BUSINESS COMING ALONG?

- RIGHT ON SCHEDULE.
- I'M COUNTING ON YOU, JORDAN.

- I WON'T LET YOU DOWN.
- I HOPE YOU DON'T.

OH, UH, EXCUSE ME.

LOOK WHO'S HERE.

[Jordan] SO THAT'S HER STUNTMAN.

MAY I HELP YOU? I THINK
CONGRESSMAN STEVENS IS EXPECTING US.

[Andy] I THINK YOU
MIGHT JUST BE RIGHT.

HAVE A GOOD TIME,
GENTLEMEN. THANK YOU.

BRING HIM IN HERE.

NO WONDER THERE WEREN'T ANY SKI BUNNIES
AT THE LODGE. THEY'RE ALL RIGHT HERE.

YEAH. WHY DON'T YOU MIX?
GET A FEEL OF THE PLACE.

YEAH. I WAS THINKIN'
THE SAME THING.

I HAD A FEELIN' YOU'D BE
AROUND HERE SOMEPLACE.

WELL, YOUR FEELING WAS RIGHT.
MR. STEVENS WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU.

WORKS OUT WELL. I
WANT TO SEE HIM TOO.

R-A-D-I-S-H? C-H.

I KNOW. IT'S A LOUSY NAME FOR
AN EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT, ISN'T IT?

NO. I THINK IT'S KIND OF HONEST.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU WORKED FOR
THE CONGRESSMAN? EIGHTEEN MONTHS.

EIGHTEEN MONTHS. YOU
MUST KNOW HIS WIFE THEN.

NO. I WORK OUT OF
OUR CAPITOL OFFICE.

I ONLY ARRIVED IN
ASPEN YESTERDAY.

[Chuckles]

I'M SORRY.

I WAS JUST THINKING THAT MY WIFE
IS A WOMAN OF UNIVERSAL TASTE.

LOOK, STEVENS, I'M NOT MUCH FOR
SMALL TALK. LET'S GET DOWN TO IT, HUH?

ALL RIGHT. I HAVE TO FIND
MY WIFE BEFORE SHE FINDS ME.

SHE'S NOT EXACTLY
RATIONAL AT THE MOMENT.

I THINK YOU ALREADY FOUND HER.

YES, I FOUND HER...
HIDING IN YOUR ROOM.

UNFORTUNATELY, YOU WERE
EASIER TO HANDLE THAN MY WIFE.

AND NOW YOU'RE SCARED TO DEATH
SHE'S GONNA SHOOT YOU AGAIN.

COME TO THINK OF IT,
WHY DID SHE SHOOT YOU?

SHE BECAME OBSESSED
WITH THE NOTION...

THAT I WAS INTERESTED
IN ONE OF MY ASSISTANTS.

UH, AS A MATTER OF FACT,
THAT'S MY ASSISTANT RIGHT THERE,

TALKING TO YOUR YOUNG FRIEND.

- HER NAME IS WENDY RADICH.
- [Clicks]

HAVE YOU EVER TRIED LIFT
7? NO, BUT IT SOUNDS LUCKY.

YOU NEVER KNOW. THEY'VE
BEEN BLASTING UP THERE

EVERY MORNING. THIS
IS AVALANCHE COUNTRY.

YOU WILLING TO RISK
IT? SURE. WHY NOT?

THAT'S HOW I GOT WHERE I
AM... BY PUTTING IT ON THE LINE.

AVALANCHE COUNTRY. AVALANCHE
COUNTRY, HERE WE COME.

- [Audio Stops]
- NOT MUCH PRIVACY
AROUND HERE.

I'VE GOT THIS THING
ABOUT SECRETS.

YEAH. YOU DON'T WANT
ANYBODY ELSE TO HAVE ANY.

[Chuckling] NOW LOOK,
LOOK. I'VE GOT AN IDEA.

WE BOTH WANT TO FIND ROBIN,
RIGHT? WHY DON'T WE JOIN FORCES?

[Scoffs] YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING.

$5,000 A DAY PLUS EXPENSES.

DOES THAT SOUND
LIKE I'M KIDDING?

PUT A SIGN IN THE WINDOW. PUT
A STACK OF MONEY NEXT TO IT.

SHE'S VERY DANGEROUS.

$5,000 A DAY DOESN'T GO
VERY FAR WHEN YOU'RE DEAD.

YOU GOT A POINT...
AND A NEW EMPLOYEE.

AND ONE CONDITION. WHAT?

SLADE GOES WITH YOU.

YOU CAN KEEP YOUR MONEY.

NOW, IF HE'S NOT WITH YOU,
HE'LL BE RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

YOU GOT ANOTHER
POINT... AND A DEAL.

COME ON, SLADE.

[Remote Clicks] I'VE BEEN THINKIN'
ABOUT GOIN' INTO POLITICS, TOO,

BUT IT COSTS SO DOGGONE
MUCH MONEY THESE DAYS.

WHAT KIND OF FUND-RAISING
TECHNIQUES DOES THE CONGRESSMAN USE?

[Wendy] I DON'T KNOW MUCH
ABOUT THAT PART OF IT.

UH, THERE'S MY
PARTNER. I'VE GOTTA GO.

TOP OF LIFT 7 AT 4:00.
OKAY? GREAT. I'LL BE THERE.

SEE YOU THEN.

I DON'T WANNA SAY ANYTHING, BUT I THINK
WE'RE BEING FOLLOWED BY A MOUNTAIN.

THAT'S JUST SLADE... SPECIAL
AIDE TO THE CONGRESSMAN.

HE'S GONNA HELP US LOOK FOR THAT
DANGEROUS WOMAN, ROBIN STEVENS.

WHAT?

IN THE BACK, SLADE. IN THE BACK?

- LIKE THE MAN SAID,
YOU'D BE RIGHT BEHIND ME.
- NOW LISTEN, SEAVERS...

BESIDES, YOU CAN COVER OUR REAR IN
CASE ROBIN TRIES TO ATTACK FROM BEHIND.

TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT. GET IN
THE BACK, OR YOU DON'T GO.

I MIGHT HAVE US A LEAD, BUT SHE'S
NOT GONNA BE VERY TALKATIVE...

IF SHE SEES US HANGING
OUT WITH THIS GUY SLADE.

WELL, STEVENS CLAIMS THE GIRL YOU WERE
TALKING TO WAS THE REASON ROBIN SHOT HIM.

HOW DOES HE KNOW WHAT
GIRL I WAS TALKING TO?

STEVENS HAD YOU ON CLOSED-CIRCUIT
TELEVISION, WITH SOUND.

OH, TERRIFIC.

YOU MEET WENDY LIKE YOU PLANNED,

AND I'LL KEEP SLADE
OUT OF THE WAY.

♪♪ [Background: Soft Rock]

THANK YOU, DARLIN'. PUT THIS ON
HOWIE MUNSON'S ROOM BILL, HUH?

AH. JACUZZI FOR THE OUTSIDE,

THEN A LITTLE OF THIS
COGNAC FOR THE INSIDE.

MAYBE I WAS WRONG
ABOUT YOU, SEAVERS.

OH, THIS IS NOT THE ONLY
SURPRISE I HAVE FOR YOU, DEL.

PEACE? WELL, TRUCE ANYWAY, HUH?

- AH, LADIES.
- HI, COLT.
- HOW ARE YOU?

- FRIENDS OF YOURS?
- FRIENDS OF OURS.

LADIES, LADIES. COME ON DOWN.

OH, THANK YOU. [Giggling]

UH, DEL SLADE, THIS
IS, UH, THUMPER. HI.

AND THIS IS, UH, BAMBI HERE. HI.

- HERE YOU GO.
- WHAT WOULD YOU LADIES
LIKE TO HAVE TO DRINK?

OH, ANYTHING... AS LONG
AS IT'S NATURAL. [Laughs]

- [Gunshot]
- [Explosion]
- WHAT WAS THAT?

IT'S AN AVALANCHE!

[Screams] HOWIE!

[Siren Wailing] [Man On Radio] ASPEN,
THIS IS PARAMEDIC UNIT 3-NINER.

THE GUY'S IN GOOD SHAPE,
AND HE LED US TO THE GIRL.

WE'RE COMING IN WITH HER NOW.

[Man] YOUNG LADY'S VERY LUCKY.

SHE'S GONNA BE A LITTLE SORE FOR A
FEW DAYS, BUT OTHERWISE SHE'S FINE.

CAN I SEE HER? FOR A MINUTE.

- WHAT'S THE MATTER, SLADE?
- OH, NOTHING. I THINK
I'LL CALL THE CONGRESSMAN.

- HE'LL WANT TO KNOW
WENDY'S OKAY.
- I'M SURE HE WILL.

THANK YOU. SURE.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
ALIVE, THANKS TO YOU.

I WAS PRETTY WORRIED
ABOUT YOU THERE FOR A WHILE.

[Knocks]

WENDY, THIS IS MY
PARTNER, COLT SEAVERS.

HI. NICE TO MEET YOU. YOU
TWO WERE PRETTY LUCKY, HUH?

LUCKY ISN'T THE WORD FOR IT.

THE AVALANCHE
WASN'T AN ACCIDENT.

IT WASN'T?

HOWIE, DO YOU REMEMBER HEARING
A LOUD CRACK AND EXPLOSION...

RIGHT BEFORE THE AVALANCHE?

YEAH. NOW THAT YOU
MENTION IT, I DID HEAR ONE.

THAT WAS A SHOT TO
SET OFF THE DYNAMITE.

DYNAMITE? DO YOU THINK
THE SKI PATROL DID IT?

IT WAS JORDAN. HE WAS
TRYING TO KILL ME. [Howie] WHY?

BECAUSE HE WAS AFRAID
YOU'D TELL HOWIE...

SOMETHING ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED BETWEEN HIM AND ROBIN.

YOU WERE THE ONE THAT SHE
FOUND WITH STEVENS, WEREN'T YOU?

YES, BUT THAT WAS
JUST THE FINAL STRAW.

HE'S NEVER BEEN FAITHFUL TO HER.

BUT THERE'S SOMETHING
ELSE, SOMETHING REALLY BIG.

- ONLY ROBIN KNOWS WHAT IT IS.
- STEVENS THINKS YOU KNOW.

THAT'S WHAT HE WAS
AFRAID YOU'D TELL HOWIE.

THEN ROBIN'S IN MORE DANGER THAN
WE THOUGHT. WE'VE GOTTA FIND HER.

I GOT A FEW IDEAS ON
WHERE SHE MIGHT BE, BUT...

GREAT, BUT WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT
THIS GUY SLADE? WE'VE GOTTA GET RID OF HIM.

WOULD YOU RING JODY
BANKS'S ROOM, PLEASE?

[Phone Ringing]

HELLO.

JODY, IT'S COLT. HAVE YOU
GOT PLANS THIS EVENING?

YEAH. I'M GOING OUT
TO DINNER WITH JOSH.

COULD YOU MAKE THAT ANOTHER
NIGHT? WE'VE GOT TO REHEARSE.

REHEARSE WHAT? REMEMBER THAT
BRAWL IN THE EASTWOOD PICTURE WE DID?

OH.

I JUST TALKED WITH MY ASSOCIATES
DOWN IN THE HILL COUNTRY.

THEY'RE GETTING READY TO SEND
SOME OF OUR PEOPLE UP HERE.

I CAN HANDLE MY WIFE. MAYBE
YOU CAN, BUT YOU'RE NOT DOING IT.

YOU SEE, JORDAN, WE'VE GOT QUITE
A SIZABLE INVESTMENT AT STAKE HERE.

WE BOUGHT ALL OF THAT
PROPERTY IN YOUR STATE...

BASED ON YOUR ASSURANCE THAT
WHEN YOU'RE ELECTED GOVERNOR,

THE CASINO GAMBLING LAWS
ARE GONNA BE LIBERALIZED.

AND THEY WILL BE.

IF YOU WANT, YOU CAN PUT A
CRAP TABLE IN MY OUTER OFFICE.

THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING, WE'RE NOT EVEN
SURE YOU'RE GONNA HAVE AN OUTER OFFICE...

IN THE GOVERNOR'S
MANSION, THAT IS.

NOW, LOOK, UH, REUBEN,

SLADE IS STAYING CLOSER
TO SEAVERS THAN A NEW SKIN.

ANDY IS SCOURING THE
AREA WHERE ROBIN GREW UP.

HE'S DOING WHATEVER
HE HAS TO DO.

NOW WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE
TO DO TO SATISFY YOU PEOPLE?

WHY DON'T YOU SEND ME AN
INVITATION TO YOUR WIFE'S FUNERAL?

[Howie] WHERE WE HEADED, COLT? WE'RE
GOING TO ROCK CREEK WHERE ROBIN GREW UP.

IF SHE'S GOT ANY
FRIENDS, THEY'LL BE HERE.

[Slade] BUT YOU WON'T GET
ANY INFORMATION OUT OF THEM,

BECAUSE I'VE FOUND
THEY'LL TRY TO PROTECT HER.

WHY DON'T YOU WAIT
OUT HERE, SLADE?

SEAVERS, I GOTTA HAND
IT TO YOU. YOU GOT NERVE.

YOU SAID YOU ALREADY TRIED IN
THERE, AND YOUR FRIEND CAME BACK.

YEAH. YOU ALREADY
STRUCK OUT TWICE, SLADE.

IF ANYBODY'S GONNA STRIKE OUT,
WE'LL ALL SWING THE BAT, RIGHT? LET'S GO.

♪♪ [Background: Country]

HOWDY. ♪♪
[Continues, Indistinct]

I TOLD YOUR FRIEND I DIDN'T WANT
EITHER ONE OF YOU IN HERE AGAIN EVER.

WELL, I GUESS HE
FORGOT TO TELL ME.

CAN I BUY EVERYBODY
A NICE, QUIET BEER?

WE JUST RAN OUT OF BEER.

UH, THIS ISN'T STARTING
TOO WELL, COLT.

I'M AFRAID YOUR FRIEND HERE
ALREADY RUINED YOUR WELCOME.

HE'S NOT REALLY MY FRIEND. WE JUST
HAPPEN TO BE LOOKING FOR THE SAME PERSON.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA
FIND HER IN HERE.

LISTEN, UH, I'M REALLY
GETTIN' BORED WITH YOU HICKS.

YOU KNOW, CONGRESSMAN STEVENS
WANTS HIS WIFE, AND I'M HERE TO GET HER.

WE DON'T WANT THE
CONGRESSMAN TO GET UPSET, DO WE?

YOU'RE JUST BREAKIN' MY HEART.

- THAT'S TOO BAD, 'CAUSE
I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR FACE.
- [Scoffing] OH.

COLT SEAVERS! YOU
DIRTY, ROTTEN, NO-GOOD...

JODY, I CAN EXPLAIN. OH,
I BET YOU CAN EXPLAIN.

LEAVIN' ME WITH THREE
HUNGRY KIDS FOR THAT WOMAN!

HEY, CUT THAT OUT. LEAVE HER
ALONE. SHE'S DOIN' JUST FINE.

♪♪ [Continues]

HEY!

HEY.

THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL. WHO
TAUGHT YOU HOW TO HIT LIKE THAT?

YOU DID. WORKED
LIKE A CHARM, COLT.

SLADE'S GONNA BE
BUSY FOR A LONG TIME.

[Glass Crashing] NOW THAT WE GOT RID
OF SLADE, WHERE DO WE FIND ROBIN?

FIRST, WE FIND HER FATHER.

KNOCK IT OFF! COME
ON! KNOCK IT OFF!

[Jody] HOW ARE WE
GONNA FIND HIM?

HE'S ALWAYS HANGIN'
AROUND ON ROUTE 3.

WHAT IS HE, A PROFESSIONAL
HITCHHIKER? NO.

MR. WILSON, COLT SEAVERS.
YOU REMEMBER ME?

HIYA, COLT. NICE
SEEIN' YOU AGAIN.

YOUR DAUGHTER'S IN
TROUBLE. I NEED TO FIND HER.

- COULD YOU HELP ME?
- YES, I CAN.

SHE ALWAYS TRUSTED YOU, COLT, AND
SHE SURE COULD USE YOUR HELP NOW.

[Howie] COLT, THIS IS IN
THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.

HOW'D YOU FIND THIS
PLACE? WELL, UH...

COLT, I HEARD THE INSTRUCTIONS, AND I
STILL DON'T KNOW HOW YOU FOUND THIS PLACE.

ROBIN TOOK ME HERE
A COUPLE OF TIMES.

[Jody] I KNEW IT. NO,
NO. IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.

ROBIN WAS INTO
NATURE AND SURVIVAL.

COLT.

HOPE YOU GOT
THREE MORE OF THOSE.

I'M SORRY I RAN OUT.

IF I HAD LET ANDY AND SLADE TAKE ME BACK
TO JORDAN'S HOUSE, HE WOULD'VE KILLED ME.

BECAUSE YOU CAUGHT
HIM WITH WENDY.

- YOU KNOW ABOUT WENDY?
- WHY DON'T YOU TELL US
THE WHOLE STORY, HUH?

JORDAN GOT INVOLVED
WITH THESE MEN.

THEY STARTED OUT AS LARGE
CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTORS.

- THEY WANTED TO BRING A NEW
INDUSTRY INTO THE STATE.
- WHAT KIND OF INDUSTRY?

CASINO GAMBLING. THAT WASN'T
WHAT THEY SAID AT FIRST, OF COURSE.

NO WONDER STEVENS
WANTED TO SHUT ROBIN UP.

A SCANDAL LIKE THAT WOULD RUIN
HIS CHANCES OF BECOMING GOVERNOR.

AND HIS BACKERS' CHANCES
OF LEGALIZING CASINO GAMBLING.

WE GOTTA GET YOU TO THE SHERIFF.
THAT'S THE SAFEST PLACE FOR YOU.

NO, COLT. I'M SAFE
RIGHT HERE WHERE I AM.

ROBIN... NO! LISTEN
TO HIM, ROBIN.

IF HE CAN FIND YOU,
THEY CAN FIND YOU.

- WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?
- DAN'S MY BABY BROTHER.

HE WAS IN THE ARMY THE SUMMER
YOU WERE UP HERE FILMING.

WHAT HAPPENED TO
SLADE AFTER WE LEFT?

WE CHASED HIM OFF, LIKE WE
THOUGHT WE CHASED YOU OFF.

- YOU CAME STRAIGHT HERE?
- THAT'S RIGHT.

OH, THAT'S GREAT. ROBIN, GET YOUR
STUFF TOGETHER. KID, CHECK OUT FRONT.

[Gun Cocks]

NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT OUT FRONT,
SEAVERS. THERE'S NOBODY OUT THERE.

ANDY, GET YOUR GUN FROM
MRS. STEVENS'S POCKET, PLEASE.

I WANT YOU TO COLLECT
THEIR SLEEPING BAGS.

I WANT YOU TO PUT OUT THE FIRE.

OH, BY THE WAY, I'LL
NEED YOUR JACKETS.

- I'M NOT GOING BACK WITH YOU.
- ROBIN, YOU'RE GOING
BACK WITH ME.

AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE
GONNA STAY HERE WITH MIKE...

UNTIL WE GET THAT FILM
OUT OF YOUR CAMERA.

YOU CAN'T STRAND THEM OUT
HERE. IT'S 40 MILES BACK TO ASPEN.

I KNOW, AND THE TEMPERATURE'S
DROPPING VERY FAST.

AND BESIDES THAT, IT'S SUPPOSED
TO SNOW BEFORE MORNING.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL GO WITH YOU. BUT YOU
CAN'T LEAVE THEM HERE TO FREEZE TO DEATH.

OF COURSE I CAN. LET'S GO.

[Slade] YOU WON'T HAVE TO
WORRY ABOUT SEAVERS ANYMORE...

WITH MIKE GUARDING
HIM IN THAT CAVE.

[Howie] THAT WAS REALLY SOMETHING THE
WAY YOU DECKED THAT GUY BACK THERE.

IT WAS LIKE OUT OF A MOVIE.
[Colt] IT WAS OUT OF A MOVIE, KID.

[Jody] COLT, I'M
COLD, AND I'M TIRED.

I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN MAKE IT.

JODY, YOU HAVE TO.
IT'S OUR ONLY CHANCE.

ARE YOU SURE ABOUT
THIS SURVIVAL SHELTER?

NO, BUT IT WAS FULLY
STOCKED THE FIRST OF THE WEEK.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN FULLY STOCKED?

OH, BLANKETS, SNOWSHOES.
MAYBE EVEN SOME SKIS.

HOW ABOUT A RADIO?

WELL, THERE SHOULD BE AN
EMERGENCY TRANSMITTER THERE.

[Jody, Panting] GOOD. WE
CAN SIGNAL FOR HELP.

HOW FAST CAN THEY GET HERE?
DEPENDS ON HOW BUSY THEY ARE.

CONGRESSMAN, THIS IS MIKE. SEAVERS
JUMPED ME, AND THEY GOT AWAY.

BUT THEY'RE HEADED UP THE
TRAIL. LEADS RIGHT PAST YOUR PLACE.

ROBIN TOLD HIM EVERYTHING.
YOU'LL NEED HELP.

I DON'T HAVE ANY HELP. NEVER MIND.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF SEAVERS MYSELF.

HURRY UP. I'M FREEZING.

PLENTY OF BLANKETS,
BUT NO RADIO.

HOW FAR IS IT TO STEVENS'S
CHALET? IT'S 40 MILES BACK TO ASPEN.

- NO, NOT THAT WAY. THAT WAY.
- THERE IS A PASS
THROUGH THERE, BUT...

IT'S ONLY A FEW MILES, BUT
THEY'RE A ROUGH FEW MILES.

LIKE I TOLD YOU IN THE
CAVE, IT GOES THROUGH

STEVENS'S VALLEY
WHERE HIS HENCHMEN ARE.

MOST OF 'EM SEEM BUSY
THOUGH. WE DON'T HAVE A CHOICE.

- DON'T FORGET
IT'S AVALANCHE COUNTRY.
- HERE. TAKE THIS.

HOPE YOU GET TO ROBIN IN TIME.

- YOU GUYS GONNA BE OKAY?
- WE'LL BE OKAY. DON'T WORRY ABOUT US.

GOOD LUCK.

[Gunshot]

[Gunshots]

[Stevens] AVALANCHE!
LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!

[Starter Grinding] [Andy] THE
CAR'S STALLED! IT WON'T START!

[Stevens] SEAVERS CAN'T GET AWAY.
THE AVALANCHE IS RIGHT ON TOP OF HIM.

[Loud Rumbling]

COME ON! QUICK!
GET UNDER THE CAR!

IT'S OUR ONLY CHANCE!

[People Screaming]

[Rumbling Stops] [People
Screaming In Distance]

COME ON. [Robin Whimpering]

COME ON. COME ON. [Coughing]

[Siren Wailing] OH,
JORDAN. COME ON!

[Siren Continues]

JOSH! JOSH!

IT WAS FANTASTIC! DID YOU
SEE IT? SEE IT? HELL, I WAS IN IT.

[Siren Stops]

[Siren Approaching]

COME ON! QUICK! GET
IN THE AMBULANCE!

IT'S STEVENS AND
ROBIN IN THE AMBULANCE.

LET'S GET GOIN'.

JOSH, THIS JEEP GOT ANY GUTS?

PLEASE, COLT! IT'S MY
BRAND-NEW JEEP. DON'T WRECK IT.

[Tires Screeching]

JORDAN! LOOK OUT!

JORDAN! [Screams]

[Screaming]

HELP! HELP!

[Brakes Squealing]

GET SOME ROPE, JOSH.
GO AHEAD. I'LL GET IT.

[Whimpering] HELP ME!

[Colt] ROBIN, HANG
ON! JUST HANG STEADY.

I'M ON MY WAY. HURRY, COLT!

I'M SLIPPING! I CAN'T HOLD ON!

HURRY, COLT!

IT'S... IT'S BREAKING!

DON'T PANIC, ROBIN.
I'M ALMOST THERE.

HANG ON, ROBIN. HANG
ON. WE'LL GET YOU.

OH! OH! [Whimpers]

[Robin Crying]

I CAN'T... HOLD ON
ANYMORE. I GOT YA.

[Crying, Whimpering]

- A LITTLE MORE LINE, JOSH.
- PLEASE HURRY!

I CAN'T HOLD ON MUCH
LONGER. STEADY, ROBIN.

JUST AS SOON AS I PUT THIS ROPE
AROUND YOU, WE'LL PULL YOU UP.

[Bridge Creaking] [Grunts]

- [Josh Straining]
- COLT!

[Josh] YOU GUYS ARE HEAVY.

[Colt] BOY, I'M GLAD
THAT'S OVER WITH.

YOU CAME THROUGH FOR ME, JOSH.

I DID, DIDN'T I? IT FEELS
GOOD TO BE A HERO.

EXCEPT... EXCEPT WHAT?

EXCEPT I SURE
WISH I HAD IT ON FILM.

I THINK IT'S ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE
THAT JORDAN COULD'VE SURVIVED THAT.

IF HE HADN'T HIT A DEEP
SPOT IN THAT RIVER WHEN

HE FELL FROM THE
AMBULANCE, HE WOULDN'T HAVE.

HOWIE, YOU AND COLT
ARE REAL HEROES.

OH, IT WAS NOTHIN'.

WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE, I'M GONNA SHOW
YOU ALL THE GRATITUDE YOU CAN HANDLE.

ROBIN, I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED BETWEEN JORDAN AND ME.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, WENDY.

I THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE DONE ME A
BIGGER FAVOR THAN YOU'LL EVER KNOW.

COLT.

I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR
EVERYTHING THAT YOU'VE DONE.

I HAVE REALLY LEARNED MY LESSON.

NO MORE FANCY PEOPLE.

I'M GONNA SETTLE DOWN IN
ROCK CREEK AGAIN WITH MY FAMILY.

CATCH YOU LATER. BYE-BYE.

GOOD-BYE. MMM.

COME ON, DAN.

COLT, YOU'RE GONNA
LOVE THIS. LOVE WHAT?

- OUR MOVIE.
- OUR MOVIE? WHAT MOVIE?

IT'S BASED ON THE
LAST TWO DAYS...

KIND OF A MOVIE WITHIN A MOVIE,
LIKE TRUFFAUT DID IN DAY FOR NIGHT.

DOWNHILL TO DEATH.
DON'T YOU LOVE IT?

- I THOUGHT OF THE TITLE.
- CONGRATULATIONS.

BUT I FIGURE WE CAN
COWRITE THE SCRIPT.

I'LL DIRECT, OF COURSE, AND
YOU CAN DO ALL THE STUNTS.

WE'LL GET BURT AND
BOB AND BARBRA TO STAR.

- WHAT A CAST, HUH? WHAT A FILM!
- HOLD ON.

THE ONLY SNOW I WANT TO SEE
FROM NOW ON IS ON TELEVISION.

BUT... BUT I HAVE A PRODUCER
IN L.A. READY TO TAKE A MEETING.

JOSH, YOU TELL THE PRODUCER
TO TAKE HIS MEETING AND...

NEVER MIND. JUST FORGET IT. I'LL
SEE YOU TWO BACK AT THE LODGE.

DON'T WORRY. I'LL TALK HIM
INTO IT. COLT. WAIT NOW. JOSH...

CAN'T WE EVEN TALK
ABOUT IT? NO, JOSH.

OKAY. YOU CAN BE CODIRECTOR.

- JOSH...
- I'LL GET YOU YOUR OWN MOTOR HOME.

- JOSH...
- I'LL EVEN GET YOU YOUR OWN STUNTMAN.

[Colt] OKAY. I ACCEPT. BUT I WANT YOU
TO BE THE STUNTMAN. [Josh] ME, COLT?

THAT'S DANGEROUS. I
COULD GET KILLED. RIGHT.