The Facts of Life (1979–1988): Season 6, Episode 18 - With a Little Help from My Friends - full transcript
♪ YOU TAKE THE GOOD,
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪
AM I HAPPY TO BE HERE?
OH, FRANCO. CHE BELLA CITTA.
WOULD I LIKE SOME GELATO?
OH, GRAZIE, FRANCO.
TU SE MOLTO GENTILE.
ME?
ATTRACTIVE?
OH!
GRAZIE, FRANCO.
GRAZIE, GRAZIE,
GRAZ... BUON GIORNO.
MUST YOU SNEAK UP ON PEOPLE?
FORGIVE US, WE DON'T
KNOW YOUR CUSTOMS.
I WAS JUST
PRACTICING MY ITALIAN.
NICK'S ON HIS WAY OVER AND
HE THINKS I'M INCREDIBLY SEXY
WHEN I ROLL MY "Rs."
THEY FELL IN LOVE
IN ITALIAN CLASS.
I WAS TRANSLATING...
HE LEANED OVER AND BIT MY NECK.
WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOING?
OH, WE'VE GOT A
GREAT DAY PLANNED.
WE'RE EXPANDING OUR HORIZONS.
THE DEAL IS, HE COMES WITH ME
TO HEAR GLORIA STEINEM
LECTURE TONIGHT,
AND I GO AND SEE A SURFING
MOVIE WITH HIM THIS AFTERNOON.
IT'S NOT JUST A SURFING MOVIE,
IT'S A PSYCHOLOGICAL STUDY
OF THE BEACH COMMUNITY.
IT'S A DEEP AND
PROBING ANALYSIS.
AND IF YOU CAN'T
GET BEHIND THAT,
THERE'S SOME
REALLY GNARLY TUNES.
WE'RE GRABBING LUNCH
AT THE HAMLET FIRST.
DO YOU AND NICK WANT TO JOIN US?
FUN.
DID YOU CHECK THE PLUG?
MAYBE YOU'VE GOT A BAD PLUG.
NO, NO, IT ISN'T THAT,
IT HAS TO BE THE WIRING.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
WELL, MY FREEZER'S OUT AGAIN,
AND THE REPAIRMAN WON'T COME
AND MAKE A HOUSE CALL ON SUNDAY.
YOU WON'T BELIEVE THE EXCUSE...
CHURCH AND SPENDING
THE DAY WITH HIS FAMILY.
I GUESS YOU'LL HAVE
TO WAIT 'TIL MONDAY.
I CAN'T WAIT.
I TOOK A SPECIAL ORDER FROM THE
HOLLYBROOK RETIREMENT VILLAGE.
THEY CANCELED AND NOW I'M
SITTING ON SIX DOZEN CHEESECAKES.
WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
I DON'T KNOW, THOSE CAKES
WON'T MAKE IT 'TIL MONDAY.
WELL, THEN, I GUESS
WE HAVE TO OPEN SHOP
AND HOPE PEEKSKILL'S IN
THE MOOD FOR CHEESECAKE.
WHAT IF THEY DON'T COME?
AT 6.50 A CAKE... OH, MY.
YOU'LL LOSE YOUR BLOUSE.
NO, SHE WON'T.
TOOTIE AND I WILL
BRING THE CUSTOMERS IN.
WE'LL GET ANDY TO
PUT UP SOME NOTICES.
I'LL STILL BE IN TIME
TO HEAR GLORIA.
OH, THANK YOU, GIRLS,
I'LL OPEN THE SHOP.
OH, WAIT A SECOND.
DO WE HAVE A THEME?
NO THEME TODAY, TOOTIE.
YOU KNOW THAT BEFORE I
START ANY NEW ENDEAVOR,
I LIKE TO HAVE A THEME.
IS BANKRUPTCY GOOD
ENOUGH FOR YOU?
LET'S GET ANDY.
I'LL CHECK THE
FREEZER, JUST IN CASE.
OH, IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN DO?
NO, NO, YOU HAVE PLANS.
ARE YOU SURE? WE CAN CANCEL.
IT'S A FOUR-MAN OPERATION.
GO, HAVE A GOOD TIME.
JUST COME HOME FOR DESSERT.
YOU EVER HAVE ONE OF THOSE DAYS
WHERE YOU JUST COULDN'T
DECIDE ON ANYTHING?
I THOUGHT I COULD
GET HER FLOWERS,
BUT I ALWAYS GET HER FLOWERS.
CANDY?
LIGHT CHOCOLATE, DARK
CHOCOLATE... I COULDN'T DECIDE.
SO I GOT YOU THESE.
MUPPET BOOKENDS.
I'LL GET THOSE BOXES
FOR YOU, MRS. GARRETT.
NO, THESE EMPTY BOXES
ARE LIGHT AS A FEATHER.
THANK YOU, KEVIN.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING,
WORKING ON SUNDAY?
OH, MY FREEZER WENT OUT
AND I'M GOING TO TAKE A BATH
ON SIX DOZEN CHEESECAKES.
CAN I TAKE ONE OFF YOUR HANDS?
NOT UNLESS YOU REALLY WANT TO.
ARE YOU KIDDING? I'M
WILD ABOUT CHEESECAKE.
HE HATES THEM.
DON'T BUY IT OUT OF PITY.
WELL... THAT'S
OKAY, I'M DESPERATE.
HEY, NICK, YOU AND BLAIR
WANT TO COME TO LUNCH
AND A MOVIE WITH US?
SURE, YOU CAN HELP
US EAT THIS STUFF.
OH, BY THE WAY, BLAIR,
A FRIEND OF MINE IS COMING BY
TO DROP OFF SOME CLASS NOTES.
YOU THINK WE COULD HANG
AROUND FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES?
SURE. OKAY IF WE JUST MEET
YOU GUYS AT THE HAMLET?
OKAY.
GREAT. SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
ALL RIGHT, BYE.
ENJOY.
TELL YOUR FRIENDS
ABOUT IT, YOUR RELATIVES,
AND ANYBODY YOU
SEE ON THE STREET.
NICK, WE'RE GONNA BE LATE.
WE'LL MAKE IT.
JUST GIVE HIM A
FEW MORE MINUTES.
IN THE MEANTIME, HOW
ABOUT SOME ITALIAN?
NOT HERE.
COME ON, BLAIR.
ROLL YOUR Rs FOR ME.
NO!
JUST... ONE R?
PLEASE, BLAIR?
RRRRRRRR.
NICK!
SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M FINE NOW.
I'M OVER IT.
NICK, IT'S FOR YOU.
MUST BE STEVE,
PROBABLY GOT LOST.
HERE HE IS.
OH, BY THE WAY, I'M HAVING
A CHEESECAKE SALE TODAY
YOU WON'T BELIEVE.
MRS. GARRETT...
IN A FEW MINUTES,
THIS PLACE WILL BE MOBBED.
I PUT SIGNS UP ALL OVER TOWN
ALERTING PEOPLE OF YOUR TRAGEDY.
I'D RATHER REFER
TO IT AS A SALE.
ARE THESE THE SIGNS YOU POSTED?
IN EVERY COLOR OF THE RAINBOW.
"EDNA'S CHEESECAKES
ARE THE... CHEESIEST."
GET THE PLAY ON WORDS?
GOT IT.
SEE, THE HUMOR WORKS FOR YOU.
THEY LAUGH, THEIR
MOUTHS ARE OPEN.
NOW THEY'LL WANT
SOMETHING TO PUT IN THEM.
THAT'S WHERE YOU COME IN.
ANDY.
IF I WERE YOU, I'D PUT
IN A REVOLVING DOOR.
IT'LL HANDLE THE FLOW.
THAT WAS STEVE.
HE GOT HUNG UP, BUT HE
SAID HE'D BE RIGHT OVER.
NICK, DO WE REALLY HAVE TO WAIT?
CAN'T YOUR FRIEND JUST LEAVE
THE NOTES WITH MRS. GARRETT?
BLAIR, I WASN'T BEING
COMPLETELY HONEST WITH YOU.
UM, STEVE NEEDS TO
BORROW SOME MONEY.
I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU
BECAUSE YOU'D SAY I WAS
BEING A PUSHOVER AGAIN.
YOU'RE BEING A PUSHOVER AGAIN.
ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT ME?
YES.
GOOD.
I'LL CALL JO AND KEVIN
AT THE RESTAURANT
AND TELL THEM WE'LL
MEET THEM AT THE THEATER.
THANKS.
MRS. GARRETT.
THIS IS FATHER DONOVAN.
HELLO, FATHER, WHAT
CAN I DO FOR YOU?
TELL HER, FATHER.
WELL, I WAS ON MY WAY
TO OUR CHURCH BAZAAR,
AND AS I DROVE UP LIBERTY HILL,
THE REAR OF MY STATION
WAGON OPENED UP,
AND ALL OF MY DESSERTS,
15 PUMPKIN PIES,
FELL OUT INTO THE
STREETS AND ARE NOW...
DUST TO DUST.
I KNOW IT'S A SUNDAY,
BUT I WONDERED IF YOU HAD
ANYTHING THAT I COULD BUY?
WOULD 15 CHEESECAKES DO?
VERY NICELY.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH YOUR ORDER.
OH, THANK YOU.
E-3.
LET'S GO AGAIN.
OKAY, SO COUNTING THE
LAST SALE TO MRS. SHERMER,
THAT MAKES THREE DOZEN
DOWN AND THREE MORE TO GO.
WE'VE STILL GOT TWO MORE HOURS.
YOUR SHIFT, TOOTIE.
I COVERED FOURTH
AND FIFTH STREETS.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO TRY THIRD,
AN AEROBICS CLASS
IS JUST BREAKING UP.
I'M NOT WEARING THAT SIGN.
YOU HAVE TO.
I'M NOT PUTTING
LUMBER ON MY BODY.
THINK OF IT AS AN
ACTING EXERCISE.
YOU'RE NOT TOOTIE,
YOU'RE KNOWLEDGE.
YOU MOVE THROUGH THE STREETS,
SPREADING YOUR WISDOM.
PEOPLE STOP, THEY
SENSE SOMETHING,
THEY MOVE CLOSER,
THEY WANT TO KNOW...
WHO'S THE IDIOT WITH THE SIGN?
YOUR SHIFT, TOOTIE.
YOU KNOW, ANDY, I'M NOT
EXACTLY COMFORTABLE
WITH THE WAY YOU'RE ADVERTISING.
"LET EDNA SHOW YOU
A LITTLE CHEESECAKE."
NEVER UNDERESTIMATE
SEX IN THE MARKETPLACE.
WITHOUT PAUL NEWMAN,
THAT SALAD DRESSING
IS JUST OIL AND VINEGAR.
REMEMBER THAT.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW LONG WE'VE
BEEN WAITING FOR YOUR FRIEND?
KEVIN AND JO ARE SITTING
IN A MOVIE THEATER,
WONDERING WHAT HAPPENED TO US.
I'M SORRY, BLAIR, BUT I
WOULDN'T BE DOING THIS
IF IT WEREN'T IMPORTANT.
BUT WE'RE MISSING THE WHOLE DAY.
CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE THE
MONEY WITH MRS. GARRETT,
IN AN ENVELOPE, WITH
A NICE, LITTLE NOTE.
IT'S NOT JUST THE MONEY.
I THINK HE REALLY NEEDS
TO TALK TO SOMEBODY.
PUSHOVER.
RIGHT.
BUT I LIKE IT.
WHY DON'T YOU CALL AND
CHECK ON STEVE AGAIN?
OKAY.
SO WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU GUYS?
WE WAITED IN THE
LOBBY FOR 15 MINUTES.
IT'S A LONG STORY.
NICK'S FRIEND NEEDS
TO BORROW SOME MONEY,
AND HE WANTS TO BE HERE FOR HIM.
HOW WAS THE MOVIE?
OH, GREAT.
THESE GUYS WENT
TO HAWAII TO SURF,
THEY WENT TO AUSTRALIA TO SURF,
THEY WENT TO AFRICA TO SURF.
THEN THEIR BUS BROKE DOWN
AND THEY SAID, "OH, WOW."
COME ON, LET'S SEE IF
MRS. G NEEDS ANYTHING.
THEY REALLY SAID
MORE THAN, "OH, WOW."
OH, YEAH, I THINK THEY SAID
"GROOVY" OR SOMETHING.
YEAH, I'M TRYING TO
CATCH STEVE HARTMAN.
I KNOW, I KNOW, I
LEFT A MESSAGE,
BUT COULD YOU
TRY HIS ROOM AGAIN?
HEY, BLAIR, THIS FRIEND OF
NICK'S, DO YOU KNOW WHO HE IS?
STEVE SOMEBODY.
STEVE HARTMAN?
YEAH, THAT'S IT.
AND NICK IS LENDING HIM MONEY?
IT BOTHERS YOU, TOO?
IT'S JUST RIDICULOUS.
STEVE HARTMAN DOESN'T
NEED MONEY FROM ANYBODY.
NICK SAID HE'S IN
SOME KIND OF TROUBLE.
BLAIR, THERE'S ONLY ONE KIND
OF TROUBLE THAT GUY COULD BE IN.
SINUS TROUBLE?
STEVE HARTMAN IS THE
CAMPUS CONNECTION.
COCAINE, BLAIR.
AND IF THERE'S A MONEY
TRANSACTION GOING ON,
NICK'S NOT LENDING, HE'S BUYING.
YOU KNOW THIS MUST
BE A COINCIDENCE.
THERE COULD BE MORE THAN
ONE STEVE HARTMAN AT LANGLEY.
OH, COME ON, BLAIR.
ALL RIGHT, SO MAYBE
IT IS THE SAME PERSON.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN NICK
KNOWS HE'S A DRUG DEALER.
NICK'S VERY NAIVE
ABOUT SOME THINGS.
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
I HOPE YOU ARE, BUT
LET'S FIND OUT, ALL RIGHT?
LET'S JUST ASK NICK ABOUT IT.
I WILL, BUT IT'S SO RIDICULOUS.
HE GOT HUNG UP ON SOME BUSINESS
BUT HE LEFT A MESSAGE
ASKING ME TO WAIT.
SO, JO, HOW WAS THE SURF?
WET.
I GOTTA GO.
GLORIA'S LECTURE
TONIGHT, I GOTTA GO CHANGE.
OH, JO, COULD I CATCH
A RIDE WITH YOU?
YOU GOT IT. THANKS.
YOU KNOW, MAYBE WE SHOULD
PASS ON THAT SURFING MOVIE.
ALL THOSE BLONDE GUYS WITH TANS.
WHO NEEDS THE COMPETITION?
WHO'S STEVE HARTMAN?
I TOLD YOU, A FRIEND.
WHAT DOES HE DO?
DO?
HE'S A STUDENT, PART-TIME.
JO JUST TOLD ME
ABOUT A STEVE HARTMAN
WHO'S BEEN DEALING
DRUGS ON CAMPUS.
I TOLD HER IT WAS
PROBABLY A DIFFERENT GUY.
I WAS RIGHT, WASN'T I, NICK?
NICK?
IT'S THE SAME GUY.
BUT HE'S A FRIEND OF YOURS AND
YOU'RE TRYING TO HELP HIM OUT.
I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT.
BLAIR... I WANT TO
PUT THIS DELICATELY.
DON'T GIVE ME
DELICATE, JUST SAY IT.
STEVE ISN'T A FRIEND OF MINE.
HE'S SOMEONE I MAKE A BUY FROM
EVERY NOW AND THEN.
BUY?
YOU'RE USING DRUGS?
JUST WAIT A MINUTE.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
HOW LONG HAVE
YOU BEEN DOING THIS?
NOT LONG, LOOK...
THAT'S WHY WE HAVE
BEEN HERE ALL DAY,
WE HAVE BEEN
WAITING TO MAKE A BUY?
I'M SORRY I LIED TO YOU,
BUT I DIDN'T WANT
TO GET YOU INVOLVED.
SO YOU JUST DID
IT BEHIND MY BACK?
I'M TELLING YOU,
THIS IS COUNTERFEIT.
THE 50 IS GOOD.
BLAIR, WOULD YOU
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS?
DOES THIS LOOK
COUNTERFEIT TO YOU?
IT LOOKS FINE.
BLAIR... NONE OF
THIS WAS PLANNED.
OH, IT WASN'T?
I'LL ADMIT I'M A NOVICE
ON THIS SUBJECT,
BUT DON'T YOU HAVE
TO PLAN THESE THINGS?
I MEAN, HOW DO
YOU GET THIS STUFF?
PASS IT IN A HANDSHAKE?
MAYBE STUFF IT IN A CHEESECAKE?
BLAIR.
HOW COULD I BE SO GULLIBLE?
WELL, I GUESS IT'S
NOT REALLY MY FAULT.
THOSE WERE SUCH GOOD LIES...
I MEAN, THE ONES ABOUT THE CLASS
NOTES AND THE BORROWING MONEY.
WOULD YOU PLEASE CALM DOWN?
I CAN'T TALK TO YOU
WHEN YOU'RE LIKE THIS.
AM I MAKING THINGS
DIFFICULT FOR YOU?
I'M SORRY, I'M JUST
A LITTLE UPSET.
I JUST FOUND OUT SOMEONE I
TRUST HAS BEEN TAKING DRUGS
AND LYING TO ME ABOUT IT.
WOULD YOU LISTEN
TO ME FOR A MINUTE?
EVERYTHING UNDER
CONTROL OUT HERE?
LOVER'S TIFF.
SHE CAUGHT ME DANCING WITH
A SWEETHEART OF SIGMA CHI.
YOU'VE GOT A LIE FOR
EVERY OCCASION, DON'T YOU?
BLAIR, PLEASE LET
ME TRY TO EXPLAIN.
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL
ME ABOUT THIS BEFORE?
BECAUSE I KNEW HOW YOU'D REACT.
I KNEW YOU'D MAKE
SOME KIND OF JUDGMENT.
YOU'RE ALREADY CONDEMNING ME
AND YOU DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT THIS.
FORGIVE ME, I GUESS I SHOULD
HAVE PICKED UP SOME LITERATURE
AT THE HALFWAY HOUSE.
THERE ARE REASONS
FOR WHAT I'M DOING.
YOU'VE GOT TO KNOW THAT.
I MEAN, WE'VE BEEN SEEING
EACH OTHER ALMOST EVERY DAY
FOR THE PAST THREE MONTHS.
YOU KNOW WHO I AM.
I KNOW WHO I THOUGHT YOU WERE.
I THOUGHT YOU
WERE RESPONSIBLE...
OH, I'M RESPONSIBLE, ALL RIGHT!
I'M GETTING BY ON FOUR
HOURS OF SLEEP A NIGHT.
I GOT TO MAINTAIN A 3.5.
I CAN'T LET MY PARENTS DOWN.
I GOT FOOTBALL, I
GOT VARSITY TRACK.
I CAN'T LET THE COACHES DOWN.
THEN THERE'S STUDENT
GOVERNMENT AND THE COLLEGE PAPER.
I CAN'T LET THE SCHOOL DOWN.
IN CASE YOU'VE FORGOTTEN,
I'M TRYING TO GET A
FUTURE TOGETHER.
I CAN'T LET YOU DOWN.
AM I SUPPOSED TO BE
FEELING SYMPATHY HERE?
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO
BE FEELING SOMETHING.
WE HAVE A RELATIONSHIP,
AT LEAST WE DID.
I DO COKE TO STAY
ON TOP OF THINGS.
NOT ALL THE TIME, BUT
WHEN I NEED TO KEEP GOING
AND I HAVE NOTHING LEFT.
WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?
STOP!
CAN'T YOU JUST STOP?
NO. THERE'S TOO MUCH AT STAKE.
OH, I SEE.
SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS
COCAINE IS JUST SOME STUDY AID.
NO CHANCE YOU MIGHT LIKE IT.
OKAY, OKAY, I'M NOT GOING TO
SAY THAT I DON'T LIKE THE FEELING.
BUT THAT'S NOT WHY I DO IT.
IT'S A WAY OF
DEALING WITH THINGS.
SOMEDAY I'LL FIND ANOTHER
WAY, BUT FOR RIGHT NOW...
YOU JUST CALL YOUR PAL STEVE.
THAT'S RIGHT.
WHERE DOES HE GET
THE STUFF ANYWAY?
I NEVER ASKED.
WELL, I MEAN, DOES HE
HANG OUT ON THE DOCKS
AND LOOK FOR SHIPS
MARKED "BOLIVIA"?
BLAIR.
NICK, THIS COULD HURT YOU.
MAYBE IT ALREADY HAS.
WHAT? DO I LOOK DAMAGED?
I'M IN CONTROL,
AND I'M GOING TO STAY THAT WAY.
I KNOW, SOME OTHER GUYS, MAN,
THEY GET CAUGHT UP
IN THIS THING, IT'S EASY.
THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN TO ME.
I'M THE GUY WHO ALWAYS
DRIVES EVERYONE ELSE HOME
AFTER THE PARTY, REMEMBER?
I'LL BE OKAY.
AS LONG AS... WE'RE OKAY.
NOW, DOES THIS CHANGE THINGS?
I DON'T KNOW.
NICK? TELEPHONE.
GREAT! I'LL GET IT OUT THERE.
THANK YOU, ENJOY,
HAVE A LOVELY EVENING.
YEAH! WHOO!
THERE GOES THE LAST CHEESECAKE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE WE MADE IT.
HOW MUCH DID WE MAKE, HOW MUCH?
BEFORE WE TOSS THE CONFETTI,
LET'S CHECK OUR TOTALS.
ANDY, THE CALCULATOR.
OH, THANK YOU.
NOW, AS THE SUN WENT DOWN,
SO DID OUR PRICES.
SO, WE HAD SIX DOZEN CHEESECAKES
AT 2.50 APIECE... $180.00.
PLUS, WE SOLD THREE QUICHES...
AND A PUMPERNICKEL.
GIVES US A GRAND TOTAL
OF... DRUMROLL, ANDY...
OH, I CAN'T STAND THIS.
$190.00.
YEAH! WHOO!
MINUS COST OF PREPARATION...
WE MADE A PROFIT OF... $5.00.
ALL OF THAT FOR $5.00?
THE IMPORTANT THING
IS THAT WE DIDN'T LOSE.
I'VE WALKED AROUND WITH
MRS. GARRETT'S LEGS ON MY BACK
FOR $5.00?
THE MONEY ISN'T IMPORTANT.
CHILDREN MOCKED ME, NATALIE.
BIRDS... WERE NOT GRACIOUS.
HERE'S YOUR SHARE.
$1.65 FOR YOU...
$1.65 FOR YOU...
AND $1.65 FOR YOU.
WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO WITH IT?
REINVEST IT.
I'M GOING TO TAKE THIS DESIGN
AND MAKE IT INTO
A PINUP CALENDAR.
CHARGE A FORTUNE.
ANDY...
I NEVER WANT TO
SEE THAT SIGN AGAIN.
MAY WE ESCORT YOU
TO THE TRASH BIN?
TOOTIE, HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT
OF DOING A PINUP CALENDAR?
WHERE'S NICK?
OUTSIDE.
LOOKING FOR HIS FRIEND.
DID YOU TALK TO HIM?
YES.
AND YOU WERE RIGHT.
NICK WAS BUYING DRUGS.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
I HAVEN'T FIGURED THAT OUT YET.
IT'S ALL PRETTY COMPLICATED.
IT SHOULDN'T BE.
NICK IS INVOLVED IN SOMETHING
STUPID AND DESTRUCTIVE.
ARE YOU GOING TO
SUPPORT THAT OR NOT?
OH, MS. POLNIACZEK.
MS. POLNIACZEK?
I LOVE THESE LIBERATED GUYS.
WHAT A TIME WE'RE
GONNA HAVE TONIGHT.
FIRST YOU'LL DRIVE ME
OVER TO HEAR GLORIA SPEAK,
THEN WE'LL GRAB A SALAD,
RALLY FOR EQUAL PAY,
THEN TOP IT OFF BY
REFUSING TO SHAVE OUR LEGS.
WHY DO I GET THE FEELING
YOU'RE NOT TOTALLY OPEN TO THIS?
ACTUALLY, I AM.
I READ UP A LITTLE
GLORIA STEINEM AND...
HE FOUND OUT SHE USED
TO BE A PLAYBOY BUNNY.
LET'S HURRY.
UH, LISTEN, KEVIN,
COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR
AND WAIT OUTSIDE FOR A MINUTE?
SURE.
WELL.
CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?
WHEN YOU WERE SETTING
UP THIS LITTLE TRANSACTION,
DID YOU GIVE ANY
THOUGHT AT ALL TO MRS. G?
WHAT'S MRS. GARRETT
HAVE TO DO WITH IT?
THIS IS HER SHOP, YOU
GET BUSTED IN HERE,
AND THEY COULD CLOSE HER DOWN.
THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
YOU WANT TO GIVE ME
A GUARANTEE ON THAT?
YOU KNOW, I'M GETTING A
LITTLE TIRED OF BEING TREATED
LIKE I'M THE VILLAIN
AROUND HERE.
YOU'RE NOT A VILLAIN.
YOU'RE LIKE A DOZEN
GUYS I GREW UP WITH,
FOOLING AROUND, THINKING
IT'LL NEVER CATCH UP WITH YA.
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS THEY
DIDN'T HAVE LITTLE ALLIGATORS
ON THEIR SHIRTS.
NO OFFENSE, BUT I'VE
SEEN SOME OF THOSE GUYS
NODDING OFF ON STREET CORNERS.
I'M WOULDN'T PUT
MYSELF IN THE SAME CLASS.
YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GETS ME?
IT'S THE WAY KIDS
LIKE YOU DABBLE.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU DO IT.
MAYBE BECAUSE IT'S IN OR
BECAUSE YOU CAN AFFORD IT.
BUT YOU PICK UP A NEW DRUG
LIKE IT'S THE LATEST
RUNNING SHOE.
YOU EVER STOP TO THINK
WHERE THE MONEY GOES?
HEY, I KNOW IT'S
A DIRTY SYSTEM...
BUT SOMEBODY'S GOT
TO SUPPORT IT, RIGHT?
BLAIR, YOU KNOW WHERE I AM IF
YOU GET TIRED OF WAITING AROUND.
BLAIR, I'M SORRY.
I KNOW SHE'S YOUR FRIEND,
BUT SHE'S WAY OFF BASE.
I AM SO EXHAUSTED.
IF I DON'T SOAK MY FEET IN A
TUB, THEY'LL NEVER FORGIVE ME.
UH, WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO CLOSE UP FOR YOU?
OH, THANK YOU, BLAIR,
MY FEET WILL BE
ETERNALLY GRATEFUL.
DON'T FORGET THE LIGHTS.
OH, YOUR FRIEND
CERTAINLY HAS A PROBLEM
WITH PUNCTUALITY, DOESN'T HE?
I'M AFRAID SO.
YOU SURE ARE LOYAL.
HAVE A GOOD NIGHT, YOU TWO.
LOOKS LIKE STEVE'S GONNA
MISS OUT ON SOME BUSINESS.
COME ON, BLAIR, HE'LL
BE HERE ANY MINUTE.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
YOU JUST GIVE ME
FIVE MORE MINUTES
AND I'M GOING TO TAKE
YOU ANYWHERE YOU WANT.
WE'LL GO ON A DRIVE,
WE'LL GO TO A MOVIE,
A SUMPTUOUS DINNER.
THOUGH THIS IS PEEKSKILL,
SUMPTUOUS MIGHT
BE A LITTLE OPTIMISTIC.
WHAT ABOUT WHAT JO SAID?
COULD MRS. GARRETT
GET IN TROUBLE?
OF COURSE NOT.
BUT THEN AGAIN, THERE
COULD BE A SWAT TEAM OUTSIDE.
THESE PASTA SHOPS ARE
NOTORIOUS DRUG DENS.
DO YOU NOTICE YOU'RE
THE ONLY ONE OF US
WHO THINKS THIS IS FUNNY?
BLAIR, I PROMISE YOU, THERE'S
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
JO WAS RIGHT.
YOU DON'T SEE THE RISK, DO YOU?
COCAINE IS JUST A
LITTLE DIVERSION,
LIKE SCUBA DIVING.
BUT NICK, THERE ARE
CONSEQUENCES FOR YOU.
FOR ME.
BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU.
I WON'T LET ANY
OF THIS AFFECT YOU.
YOU ALREADY HAVE!
YOU'VE MADE ME A PART
OF THIS, AND MY FRIENDS,
AND NOW YOU'RE ASKING ME TO
DO SOMETHING I THINK IS WRONG.
I'M ASKING YOU TO HELP ME.
FRIENDS HELP EACH OTHER.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
HELPING.
I'M NOT GOING TO
LET YOU BUY DRUGS
IN MRS. GARRETT'S SHOP.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE MAKING
SUCH A BIG DEAL OUT OF THIS!
THIS ISN'T SOME BIG
SCORE GOING DOWN,
IT'S JUST A LITTLE BUY.
IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.
WE HAVE BEEN WAITING
HERE FOR EIGHT HOURS
FOR SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T
MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?
DON'T YOU SEE THE WASTE?
WE HAVE BEEN
CHAINED TO THIS PLACE
BECAUSE NOTHING IS AS IMPORTANT
AS WHAT STEVE IS BRINGING.
DOESN'T THAT SCARE YOU?
IT SCARES ME.
I'M GOING TO LOCK UP NOW.
LET'S GO SOMEWHERE.
WE CAN CATCH GLORIA'S LECTURE.
YOU KNOW YOU'VE ALWAYS
WANTED TO BE LIBERATED.
OR FORGET THE LECTURE,
LET'S JUST GET OUT OF HERE.
COME ON, NICK.
I CAN'T TONIGHT.
♪ YOU'LL AVOID A LOT OF DAMAGE ♪
♪ AND ENJOY THE FUN OF
MANAGING THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THEY SHED A LOT OF LIGHT ♪
♪ IF YOU HEAR 'EM
FROM YOUR BROTHER ♪
♪ BETTER CLEAR 'EM
WITH YOUR MOTHER ♪
♪ BETTER GET 'EM RIGHT
CALL HER LATE AT NIGHT ♪
♪ YOU GOT THE FUTURE IN
THE PALM OF YOUR HAND ♪
♪ ALL YOU GOTTA DO
TO GET YOU THROUGH ♪
♪ IS UNDERSTAND ♪
♪ YOU THINK YOU'D
RATHER DO WITHOUT ♪
♪ YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT
THROUGH WITHOUT THE TRUTH ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE
ARE ALL ABOUT YOU ♪♪
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪
AM I HAPPY TO BE HERE?
OH, FRANCO. CHE BELLA CITTA.
WOULD I LIKE SOME GELATO?
OH, GRAZIE, FRANCO.
TU SE MOLTO GENTILE.
ME?
ATTRACTIVE?
OH!
GRAZIE, FRANCO.
GRAZIE, GRAZIE,
GRAZ... BUON GIORNO.
MUST YOU SNEAK UP ON PEOPLE?
FORGIVE US, WE DON'T
KNOW YOUR CUSTOMS.
I WAS JUST
PRACTICING MY ITALIAN.
NICK'S ON HIS WAY OVER AND
HE THINKS I'M INCREDIBLY SEXY
WHEN I ROLL MY "Rs."
THEY FELL IN LOVE
IN ITALIAN CLASS.
I WAS TRANSLATING...
HE LEANED OVER AND BIT MY NECK.
WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOING?
OH, WE'VE GOT A
GREAT DAY PLANNED.
WE'RE EXPANDING OUR HORIZONS.
THE DEAL IS, HE COMES WITH ME
TO HEAR GLORIA STEINEM
LECTURE TONIGHT,
AND I GO AND SEE A SURFING
MOVIE WITH HIM THIS AFTERNOON.
IT'S NOT JUST A SURFING MOVIE,
IT'S A PSYCHOLOGICAL STUDY
OF THE BEACH COMMUNITY.
IT'S A DEEP AND
PROBING ANALYSIS.
AND IF YOU CAN'T
GET BEHIND THAT,
THERE'S SOME
REALLY GNARLY TUNES.
WE'RE GRABBING LUNCH
AT THE HAMLET FIRST.
DO YOU AND NICK WANT TO JOIN US?
FUN.
DID YOU CHECK THE PLUG?
MAYBE YOU'VE GOT A BAD PLUG.
NO, NO, IT ISN'T THAT,
IT HAS TO BE THE WIRING.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
WELL, MY FREEZER'S OUT AGAIN,
AND THE REPAIRMAN WON'T COME
AND MAKE A HOUSE CALL ON SUNDAY.
YOU WON'T BELIEVE THE EXCUSE...
CHURCH AND SPENDING
THE DAY WITH HIS FAMILY.
I GUESS YOU'LL HAVE
TO WAIT 'TIL MONDAY.
I CAN'T WAIT.
I TOOK A SPECIAL ORDER FROM THE
HOLLYBROOK RETIREMENT VILLAGE.
THEY CANCELED AND NOW I'M
SITTING ON SIX DOZEN CHEESECAKES.
WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
I DON'T KNOW, THOSE CAKES
WON'T MAKE IT 'TIL MONDAY.
WELL, THEN, I GUESS
WE HAVE TO OPEN SHOP
AND HOPE PEEKSKILL'S IN
THE MOOD FOR CHEESECAKE.
WHAT IF THEY DON'T COME?
AT 6.50 A CAKE... OH, MY.
YOU'LL LOSE YOUR BLOUSE.
NO, SHE WON'T.
TOOTIE AND I WILL
BRING THE CUSTOMERS IN.
WE'LL GET ANDY TO
PUT UP SOME NOTICES.
I'LL STILL BE IN TIME
TO HEAR GLORIA.
OH, THANK YOU, GIRLS,
I'LL OPEN THE SHOP.
OH, WAIT A SECOND.
DO WE HAVE A THEME?
NO THEME TODAY, TOOTIE.
YOU KNOW THAT BEFORE I
START ANY NEW ENDEAVOR,
I LIKE TO HAVE A THEME.
IS BANKRUPTCY GOOD
ENOUGH FOR YOU?
LET'S GET ANDY.
I'LL CHECK THE
FREEZER, JUST IN CASE.
OH, IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN DO?
NO, NO, YOU HAVE PLANS.
ARE YOU SURE? WE CAN CANCEL.
IT'S A FOUR-MAN OPERATION.
GO, HAVE A GOOD TIME.
JUST COME HOME FOR DESSERT.
YOU EVER HAVE ONE OF THOSE DAYS
WHERE YOU JUST COULDN'T
DECIDE ON ANYTHING?
I THOUGHT I COULD
GET HER FLOWERS,
BUT I ALWAYS GET HER FLOWERS.
CANDY?
LIGHT CHOCOLATE, DARK
CHOCOLATE... I COULDN'T DECIDE.
SO I GOT YOU THESE.
MUPPET BOOKENDS.
I'LL GET THOSE BOXES
FOR YOU, MRS. GARRETT.
NO, THESE EMPTY BOXES
ARE LIGHT AS A FEATHER.
THANK YOU, KEVIN.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING,
WORKING ON SUNDAY?
OH, MY FREEZER WENT OUT
AND I'M GOING TO TAKE A BATH
ON SIX DOZEN CHEESECAKES.
CAN I TAKE ONE OFF YOUR HANDS?
NOT UNLESS YOU REALLY WANT TO.
ARE YOU KIDDING? I'M
WILD ABOUT CHEESECAKE.
HE HATES THEM.
DON'T BUY IT OUT OF PITY.
WELL... THAT'S
OKAY, I'M DESPERATE.
HEY, NICK, YOU AND BLAIR
WANT TO COME TO LUNCH
AND A MOVIE WITH US?
SURE, YOU CAN HELP
US EAT THIS STUFF.
OH, BY THE WAY, BLAIR,
A FRIEND OF MINE IS COMING BY
TO DROP OFF SOME CLASS NOTES.
YOU THINK WE COULD HANG
AROUND FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES?
SURE. OKAY IF WE JUST MEET
YOU GUYS AT THE HAMLET?
OKAY.
GREAT. SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
ALL RIGHT, BYE.
ENJOY.
TELL YOUR FRIENDS
ABOUT IT, YOUR RELATIVES,
AND ANYBODY YOU
SEE ON THE STREET.
NICK, WE'RE GONNA BE LATE.
WE'LL MAKE IT.
JUST GIVE HIM A
FEW MORE MINUTES.
IN THE MEANTIME, HOW
ABOUT SOME ITALIAN?
NOT HERE.
COME ON, BLAIR.
ROLL YOUR Rs FOR ME.
NO!
JUST... ONE R?
PLEASE, BLAIR?
RRRRRRRR.
NICK!
SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M FINE NOW.
I'M OVER IT.
NICK, IT'S FOR YOU.
MUST BE STEVE,
PROBABLY GOT LOST.
HERE HE IS.
OH, BY THE WAY, I'M HAVING
A CHEESECAKE SALE TODAY
YOU WON'T BELIEVE.
MRS. GARRETT...
IN A FEW MINUTES,
THIS PLACE WILL BE MOBBED.
I PUT SIGNS UP ALL OVER TOWN
ALERTING PEOPLE OF YOUR TRAGEDY.
I'D RATHER REFER
TO IT AS A SALE.
ARE THESE THE SIGNS YOU POSTED?
IN EVERY COLOR OF THE RAINBOW.
"EDNA'S CHEESECAKES
ARE THE... CHEESIEST."
GET THE PLAY ON WORDS?
GOT IT.
SEE, THE HUMOR WORKS FOR YOU.
THEY LAUGH, THEIR
MOUTHS ARE OPEN.
NOW THEY'LL WANT
SOMETHING TO PUT IN THEM.
THAT'S WHERE YOU COME IN.
ANDY.
IF I WERE YOU, I'D PUT
IN A REVOLVING DOOR.
IT'LL HANDLE THE FLOW.
THAT WAS STEVE.
HE GOT HUNG UP, BUT HE
SAID HE'D BE RIGHT OVER.
NICK, DO WE REALLY HAVE TO WAIT?
CAN'T YOUR FRIEND JUST LEAVE
THE NOTES WITH MRS. GARRETT?
BLAIR, I WASN'T BEING
COMPLETELY HONEST WITH YOU.
UM, STEVE NEEDS TO
BORROW SOME MONEY.
I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU
BECAUSE YOU'D SAY I WAS
BEING A PUSHOVER AGAIN.
YOU'RE BEING A PUSHOVER AGAIN.
ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT ME?
YES.
GOOD.
I'LL CALL JO AND KEVIN
AT THE RESTAURANT
AND TELL THEM WE'LL
MEET THEM AT THE THEATER.
THANKS.
MRS. GARRETT.
THIS IS FATHER DONOVAN.
HELLO, FATHER, WHAT
CAN I DO FOR YOU?
TELL HER, FATHER.
WELL, I WAS ON MY WAY
TO OUR CHURCH BAZAAR,
AND AS I DROVE UP LIBERTY HILL,
THE REAR OF MY STATION
WAGON OPENED UP,
AND ALL OF MY DESSERTS,
15 PUMPKIN PIES,
FELL OUT INTO THE
STREETS AND ARE NOW...
DUST TO DUST.
I KNOW IT'S A SUNDAY,
BUT I WONDERED IF YOU HAD
ANYTHING THAT I COULD BUY?
WOULD 15 CHEESECAKES DO?
VERY NICELY.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH YOUR ORDER.
OH, THANK YOU.
E-3.
LET'S GO AGAIN.
OKAY, SO COUNTING THE
LAST SALE TO MRS. SHERMER,
THAT MAKES THREE DOZEN
DOWN AND THREE MORE TO GO.
WE'VE STILL GOT TWO MORE HOURS.
YOUR SHIFT, TOOTIE.
I COVERED FOURTH
AND FIFTH STREETS.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO TRY THIRD,
AN AEROBICS CLASS
IS JUST BREAKING UP.
I'M NOT WEARING THAT SIGN.
YOU HAVE TO.
I'M NOT PUTTING
LUMBER ON MY BODY.
THINK OF IT AS AN
ACTING EXERCISE.
YOU'RE NOT TOOTIE,
YOU'RE KNOWLEDGE.
YOU MOVE THROUGH THE STREETS,
SPREADING YOUR WISDOM.
PEOPLE STOP, THEY
SENSE SOMETHING,
THEY MOVE CLOSER,
THEY WANT TO KNOW...
WHO'S THE IDIOT WITH THE SIGN?
YOUR SHIFT, TOOTIE.
YOU KNOW, ANDY, I'M NOT
EXACTLY COMFORTABLE
WITH THE WAY YOU'RE ADVERTISING.
"LET EDNA SHOW YOU
A LITTLE CHEESECAKE."
NEVER UNDERESTIMATE
SEX IN THE MARKETPLACE.
WITHOUT PAUL NEWMAN,
THAT SALAD DRESSING
IS JUST OIL AND VINEGAR.
REMEMBER THAT.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW LONG WE'VE
BEEN WAITING FOR YOUR FRIEND?
KEVIN AND JO ARE SITTING
IN A MOVIE THEATER,
WONDERING WHAT HAPPENED TO US.
I'M SORRY, BLAIR, BUT I
WOULDN'T BE DOING THIS
IF IT WEREN'T IMPORTANT.
BUT WE'RE MISSING THE WHOLE DAY.
CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE THE
MONEY WITH MRS. GARRETT,
IN AN ENVELOPE, WITH
A NICE, LITTLE NOTE.
IT'S NOT JUST THE MONEY.
I THINK HE REALLY NEEDS
TO TALK TO SOMEBODY.
PUSHOVER.
RIGHT.
BUT I LIKE IT.
WHY DON'T YOU CALL AND
CHECK ON STEVE AGAIN?
OKAY.
SO WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU GUYS?
WE WAITED IN THE
LOBBY FOR 15 MINUTES.
IT'S A LONG STORY.
NICK'S FRIEND NEEDS
TO BORROW SOME MONEY,
AND HE WANTS TO BE HERE FOR HIM.
HOW WAS THE MOVIE?
OH, GREAT.
THESE GUYS WENT
TO HAWAII TO SURF,
THEY WENT TO AUSTRALIA TO SURF,
THEY WENT TO AFRICA TO SURF.
THEN THEIR BUS BROKE DOWN
AND THEY SAID, "OH, WOW."
COME ON, LET'S SEE IF
MRS. G NEEDS ANYTHING.
THEY REALLY SAID
MORE THAN, "OH, WOW."
OH, YEAH, I THINK THEY SAID
"GROOVY" OR SOMETHING.
YEAH, I'M TRYING TO
CATCH STEVE HARTMAN.
I KNOW, I KNOW, I
LEFT A MESSAGE,
BUT COULD YOU
TRY HIS ROOM AGAIN?
HEY, BLAIR, THIS FRIEND OF
NICK'S, DO YOU KNOW WHO HE IS?
STEVE SOMEBODY.
STEVE HARTMAN?
YEAH, THAT'S IT.
AND NICK IS LENDING HIM MONEY?
IT BOTHERS YOU, TOO?
IT'S JUST RIDICULOUS.
STEVE HARTMAN DOESN'T
NEED MONEY FROM ANYBODY.
NICK SAID HE'S IN
SOME KIND OF TROUBLE.
BLAIR, THERE'S ONLY ONE KIND
OF TROUBLE THAT GUY COULD BE IN.
SINUS TROUBLE?
STEVE HARTMAN IS THE
CAMPUS CONNECTION.
COCAINE, BLAIR.
AND IF THERE'S A MONEY
TRANSACTION GOING ON,
NICK'S NOT LENDING, HE'S BUYING.
YOU KNOW THIS MUST
BE A COINCIDENCE.
THERE COULD BE MORE THAN
ONE STEVE HARTMAN AT LANGLEY.
OH, COME ON, BLAIR.
ALL RIGHT, SO MAYBE
IT IS THE SAME PERSON.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN NICK
KNOWS HE'S A DRUG DEALER.
NICK'S VERY NAIVE
ABOUT SOME THINGS.
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
I HOPE YOU ARE, BUT
LET'S FIND OUT, ALL RIGHT?
LET'S JUST ASK NICK ABOUT IT.
I WILL, BUT IT'S SO RIDICULOUS.
HE GOT HUNG UP ON SOME BUSINESS
BUT HE LEFT A MESSAGE
ASKING ME TO WAIT.
SO, JO, HOW WAS THE SURF?
WET.
I GOTTA GO.
GLORIA'S LECTURE
TONIGHT, I GOTTA GO CHANGE.
OH, JO, COULD I CATCH
A RIDE WITH YOU?
YOU GOT IT. THANKS.
YOU KNOW, MAYBE WE SHOULD
PASS ON THAT SURFING MOVIE.
ALL THOSE BLONDE GUYS WITH TANS.
WHO NEEDS THE COMPETITION?
WHO'S STEVE HARTMAN?
I TOLD YOU, A FRIEND.
WHAT DOES HE DO?
DO?
HE'S A STUDENT, PART-TIME.
JO JUST TOLD ME
ABOUT A STEVE HARTMAN
WHO'S BEEN DEALING
DRUGS ON CAMPUS.
I TOLD HER IT WAS
PROBABLY A DIFFERENT GUY.
I WAS RIGHT, WASN'T I, NICK?
NICK?
IT'S THE SAME GUY.
BUT HE'S A FRIEND OF YOURS AND
YOU'RE TRYING TO HELP HIM OUT.
I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT.
BLAIR... I WANT TO
PUT THIS DELICATELY.
DON'T GIVE ME
DELICATE, JUST SAY IT.
STEVE ISN'T A FRIEND OF MINE.
HE'S SOMEONE I MAKE A BUY FROM
EVERY NOW AND THEN.
BUY?
YOU'RE USING DRUGS?
JUST WAIT A MINUTE.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
HOW LONG HAVE
YOU BEEN DOING THIS?
NOT LONG, LOOK...
THAT'S WHY WE HAVE
BEEN HERE ALL DAY,
WE HAVE BEEN
WAITING TO MAKE A BUY?
I'M SORRY I LIED TO YOU,
BUT I DIDN'T WANT
TO GET YOU INVOLVED.
SO YOU JUST DID
IT BEHIND MY BACK?
I'M TELLING YOU,
THIS IS COUNTERFEIT.
THE 50 IS GOOD.
BLAIR, WOULD YOU
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS?
DOES THIS LOOK
COUNTERFEIT TO YOU?
IT LOOKS FINE.
BLAIR... NONE OF
THIS WAS PLANNED.
OH, IT WASN'T?
I'LL ADMIT I'M A NOVICE
ON THIS SUBJECT,
BUT DON'T YOU HAVE
TO PLAN THESE THINGS?
I MEAN, HOW DO
YOU GET THIS STUFF?
PASS IT IN A HANDSHAKE?
MAYBE STUFF IT IN A CHEESECAKE?
BLAIR.
HOW COULD I BE SO GULLIBLE?
WELL, I GUESS IT'S
NOT REALLY MY FAULT.
THOSE WERE SUCH GOOD LIES...
I MEAN, THE ONES ABOUT THE CLASS
NOTES AND THE BORROWING MONEY.
WOULD YOU PLEASE CALM DOWN?
I CAN'T TALK TO YOU
WHEN YOU'RE LIKE THIS.
AM I MAKING THINGS
DIFFICULT FOR YOU?
I'M SORRY, I'M JUST
A LITTLE UPSET.
I JUST FOUND OUT SOMEONE I
TRUST HAS BEEN TAKING DRUGS
AND LYING TO ME ABOUT IT.
WOULD YOU LISTEN
TO ME FOR A MINUTE?
EVERYTHING UNDER
CONTROL OUT HERE?
LOVER'S TIFF.
SHE CAUGHT ME DANCING WITH
A SWEETHEART OF SIGMA CHI.
YOU'VE GOT A LIE FOR
EVERY OCCASION, DON'T YOU?
BLAIR, PLEASE LET
ME TRY TO EXPLAIN.
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL
ME ABOUT THIS BEFORE?
BECAUSE I KNEW HOW YOU'D REACT.
I KNEW YOU'D MAKE
SOME KIND OF JUDGMENT.
YOU'RE ALREADY CONDEMNING ME
AND YOU DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT THIS.
FORGIVE ME, I GUESS I SHOULD
HAVE PICKED UP SOME LITERATURE
AT THE HALFWAY HOUSE.
THERE ARE REASONS
FOR WHAT I'M DOING.
YOU'VE GOT TO KNOW THAT.
I MEAN, WE'VE BEEN SEEING
EACH OTHER ALMOST EVERY DAY
FOR THE PAST THREE MONTHS.
YOU KNOW WHO I AM.
I KNOW WHO I THOUGHT YOU WERE.
I THOUGHT YOU
WERE RESPONSIBLE...
OH, I'M RESPONSIBLE, ALL RIGHT!
I'M GETTING BY ON FOUR
HOURS OF SLEEP A NIGHT.
I GOT TO MAINTAIN A 3.5.
I CAN'T LET MY PARENTS DOWN.
I GOT FOOTBALL, I
GOT VARSITY TRACK.
I CAN'T LET THE COACHES DOWN.
THEN THERE'S STUDENT
GOVERNMENT AND THE COLLEGE PAPER.
I CAN'T LET THE SCHOOL DOWN.
IN CASE YOU'VE FORGOTTEN,
I'M TRYING TO GET A
FUTURE TOGETHER.
I CAN'T LET YOU DOWN.
AM I SUPPOSED TO BE
FEELING SYMPATHY HERE?
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO
BE FEELING SOMETHING.
WE HAVE A RELATIONSHIP,
AT LEAST WE DID.
I DO COKE TO STAY
ON TOP OF THINGS.
NOT ALL THE TIME, BUT
WHEN I NEED TO KEEP GOING
AND I HAVE NOTHING LEFT.
WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?
STOP!
CAN'T YOU JUST STOP?
NO. THERE'S TOO MUCH AT STAKE.
OH, I SEE.
SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS
COCAINE IS JUST SOME STUDY AID.
NO CHANCE YOU MIGHT LIKE IT.
OKAY, OKAY, I'M NOT GOING TO
SAY THAT I DON'T LIKE THE FEELING.
BUT THAT'S NOT WHY I DO IT.
IT'S A WAY OF
DEALING WITH THINGS.
SOMEDAY I'LL FIND ANOTHER
WAY, BUT FOR RIGHT NOW...
YOU JUST CALL YOUR PAL STEVE.
THAT'S RIGHT.
WHERE DOES HE GET
THE STUFF ANYWAY?
I NEVER ASKED.
WELL, I MEAN, DOES HE
HANG OUT ON THE DOCKS
AND LOOK FOR SHIPS
MARKED "BOLIVIA"?
BLAIR.
NICK, THIS COULD HURT YOU.
MAYBE IT ALREADY HAS.
WHAT? DO I LOOK DAMAGED?
I'M IN CONTROL,
AND I'M GOING TO STAY THAT WAY.
I KNOW, SOME OTHER GUYS, MAN,
THEY GET CAUGHT UP
IN THIS THING, IT'S EASY.
THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN TO ME.
I'M THE GUY WHO ALWAYS
DRIVES EVERYONE ELSE HOME
AFTER THE PARTY, REMEMBER?
I'LL BE OKAY.
AS LONG AS... WE'RE OKAY.
NOW, DOES THIS CHANGE THINGS?
I DON'T KNOW.
NICK? TELEPHONE.
GREAT! I'LL GET IT OUT THERE.
THANK YOU, ENJOY,
HAVE A LOVELY EVENING.
YEAH! WHOO!
THERE GOES THE LAST CHEESECAKE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE WE MADE IT.
HOW MUCH DID WE MAKE, HOW MUCH?
BEFORE WE TOSS THE CONFETTI,
LET'S CHECK OUR TOTALS.
ANDY, THE CALCULATOR.
OH, THANK YOU.
NOW, AS THE SUN WENT DOWN,
SO DID OUR PRICES.
SO, WE HAD SIX DOZEN CHEESECAKES
AT 2.50 APIECE... $180.00.
PLUS, WE SOLD THREE QUICHES...
AND A PUMPERNICKEL.
GIVES US A GRAND TOTAL
OF... DRUMROLL, ANDY...
OH, I CAN'T STAND THIS.
$190.00.
YEAH! WHOO!
MINUS COST OF PREPARATION...
WE MADE A PROFIT OF... $5.00.
ALL OF THAT FOR $5.00?
THE IMPORTANT THING
IS THAT WE DIDN'T LOSE.
I'VE WALKED AROUND WITH
MRS. GARRETT'S LEGS ON MY BACK
FOR $5.00?
THE MONEY ISN'T IMPORTANT.
CHILDREN MOCKED ME, NATALIE.
BIRDS... WERE NOT GRACIOUS.
HERE'S YOUR SHARE.
$1.65 FOR YOU...
$1.65 FOR YOU...
AND $1.65 FOR YOU.
WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO WITH IT?
REINVEST IT.
I'M GOING TO TAKE THIS DESIGN
AND MAKE IT INTO
A PINUP CALENDAR.
CHARGE A FORTUNE.
ANDY...
I NEVER WANT TO
SEE THAT SIGN AGAIN.
MAY WE ESCORT YOU
TO THE TRASH BIN?
TOOTIE, HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT
OF DOING A PINUP CALENDAR?
WHERE'S NICK?
OUTSIDE.
LOOKING FOR HIS FRIEND.
DID YOU TALK TO HIM?
YES.
AND YOU WERE RIGHT.
NICK WAS BUYING DRUGS.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
I HAVEN'T FIGURED THAT OUT YET.
IT'S ALL PRETTY COMPLICATED.
IT SHOULDN'T BE.
NICK IS INVOLVED IN SOMETHING
STUPID AND DESTRUCTIVE.
ARE YOU GOING TO
SUPPORT THAT OR NOT?
OH, MS. POLNIACZEK.
MS. POLNIACZEK?
I LOVE THESE LIBERATED GUYS.
WHAT A TIME WE'RE
GONNA HAVE TONIGHT.
FIRST YOU'LL DRIVE ME
OVER TO HEAR GLORIA SPEAK,
THEN WE'LL GRAB A SALAD,
RALLY FOR EQUAL PAY,
THEN TOP IT OFF BY
REFUSING TO SHAVE OUR LEGS.
WHY DO I GET THE FEELING
YOU'RE NOT TOTALLY OPEN TO THIS?
ACTUALLY, I AM.
I READ UP A LITTLE
GLORIA STEINEM AND...
HE FOUND OUT SHE USED
TO BE A PLAYBOY BUNNY.
LET'S HURRY.
UH, LISTEN, KEVIN,
COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR
AND WAIT OUTSIDE FOR A MINUTE?
SURE.
WELL.
CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?
WHEN YOU WERE SETTING
UP THIS LITTLE TRANSACTION,
DID YOU GIVE ANY
THOUGHT AT ALL TO MRS. G?
WHAT'S MRS. GARRETT
HAVE TO DO WITH IT?
THIS IS HER SHOP, YOU
GET BUSTED IN HERE,
AND THEY COULD CLOSE HER DOWN.
THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
YOU WANT TO GIVE ME
A GUARANTEE ON THAT?
YOU KNOW, I'M GETTING A
LITTLE TIRED OF BEING TREATED
LIKE I'M THE VILLAIN
AROUND HERE.
YOU'RE NOT A VILLAIN.
YOU'RE LIKE A DOZEN
GUYS I GREW UP WITH,
FOOLING AROUND, THINKING
IT'LL NEVER CATCH UP WITH YA.
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS THEY
DIDN'T HAVE LITTLE ALLIGATORS
ON THEIR SHIRTS.
NO OFFENSE, BUT I'VE
SEEN SOME OF THOSE GUYS
NODDING OFF ON STREET CORNERS.
I'M WOULDN'T PUT
MYSELF IN THE SAME CLASS.
YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GETS ME?
IT'S THE WAY KIDS
LIKE YOU DABBLE.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU DO IT.
MAYBE BECAUSE IT'S IN OR
BECAUSE YOU CAN AFFORD IT.
BUT YOU PICK UP A NEW DRUG
LIKE IT'S THE LATEST
RUNNING SHOE.
YOU EVER STOP TO THINK
WHERE THE MONEY GOES?
HEY, I KNOW IT'S
A DIRTY SYSTEM...
BUT SOMEBODY'S GOT
TO SUPPORT IT, RIGHT?
BLAIR, YOU KNOW WHERE I AM IF
YOU GET TIRED OF WAITING AROUND.
BLAIR, I'M SORRY.
I KNOW SHE'S YOUR FRIEND,
BUT SHE'S WAY OFF BASE.
I AM SO EXHAUSTED.
IF I DON'T SOAK MY FEET IN A
TUB, THEY'LL NEVER FORGIVE ME.
UH, WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO CLOSE UP FOR YOU?
OH, THANK YOU, BLAIR,
MY FEET WILL BE
ETERNALLY GRATEFUL.
DON'T FORGET THE LIGHTS.
OH, YOUR FRIEND
CERTAINLY HAS A PROBLEM
WITH PUNCTUALITY, DOESN'T HE?
I'M AFRAID SO.
YOU SURE ARE LOYAL.
HAVE A GOOD NIGHT, YOU TWO.
LOOKS LIKE STEVE'S GONNA
MISS OUT ON SOME BUSINESS.
COME ON, BLAIR, HE'LL
BE HERE ANY MINUTE.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
YOU JUST GIVE ME
FIVE MORE MINUTES
AND I'M GOING TO TAKE
YOU ANYWHERE YOU WANT.
WE'LL GO ON A DRIVE,
WE'LL GO TO A MOVIE,
A SUMPTUOUS DINNER.
THOUGH THIS IS PEEKSKILL,
SUMPTUOUS MIGHT
BE A LITTLE OPTIMISTIC.
WHAT ABOUT WHAT JO SAID?
COULD MRS. GARRETT
GET IN TROUBLE?
OF COURSE NOT.
BUT THEN AGAIN, THERE
COULD BE A SWAT TEAM OUTSIDE.
THESE PASTA SHOPS ARE
NOTORIOUS DRUG DENS.
DO YOU NOTICE YOU'RE
THE ONLY ONE OF US
WHO THINKS THIS IS FUNNY?
BLAIR, I PROMISE YOU, THERE'S
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
JO WAS RIGHT.
YOU DON'T SEE THE RISK, DO YOU?
COCAINE IS JUST A
LITTLE DIVERSION,
LIKE SCUBA DIVING.
BUT NICK, THERE ARE
CONSEQUENCES FOR YOU.
FOR ME.
BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU.
I WON'T LET ANY
OF THIS AFFECT YOU.
YOU ALREADY HAVE!
YOU'VE MADE ME A PART
OF THIS, AND MY FRIENDS,
AND NOW YOU'RE ASKING ME TO
DO SOMETHING I THINK IS WRONG.
I'M ASKING YOU TO HELP ME.
FRIENDS HELP EACH OTHER.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
HELPING.
I'M NOT GOING TO
LET YOU BUY DRUGS
IN MRS. GARRETT'S SHOP.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE MAKING
SUCH A BIG DEAL OUT OF THIS!
THIS ISN'T SOME BIG
SCORE GOING DOWN,
IT'S JUST A LITTLE BUY.
IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.
WE HAVE BEEN WAITING
HERE FOR EIGHT HOURS
FOR SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T
MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?
DON'T YOU SEE THE WASTE?
WE HAVE BEEN
CHAINED TO THIS PLACE
BECAUSE NOTHING IS AS IMPORTANT
AS WHAT STEVE IS BRINGING.
DOESN'T THAT SCARE YOU?
IT SCARES ME.
I'M GOING TO LOCK UP NOW.
LET'S GO SOMEWHERE.
WE CAN CATCH GLORIA'S LECTURE.
YOU KNOW YOU'VE ALWAYS
WANTED TO BE LIBERATED.
OR FORGET THE LECTURE,
LET'S JUST GET OUT OF HERE.
COME ON, NICK.
I CAN'T TONIGHT.
♪ YOU'LL AVOID A LOT OF DAMAGE ♪
♪ AND ENJOY THE FUN OF
MANAGING THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THEY SHED A LOT OF LIGHT ♪
♪ IF YOU HEAR 'EM
FROM YOUR BROTHER ♪
♪ BETTER CLEAR 'EM
WITH YOUR MOTHER ♪
♪ BETTER GET 'EM RIGHT
CALL HER LATE AT NIGHT ♪
♪ YOU GOT THE FUTURE IN
THE PALM OF YOUR HAND ♪
♪ ALL YOU GOTTA DO
TO GET YOU THROUGH ♪
♪ IS UNDERSTAND ♪
♪ YOU THINK YOU'D
RATHER DO WITHOUT ♪
♪ YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT
THROUGH WITHOUT THE TRUTH ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE
ARE ALL ABOUT YOU ♪♪