The Facts of Life (1979–1988): Season 6, Episode 17 - Two Guys from Appleton - full transcript
♪ YOU TAKE THE GOOD,
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪
TWO TUBES OF ESCARGOT.
CHECK.
HE JUST BROKE IT
OFF, JUST LIKE THAT.
AFTER ALL WE MEANT
TO EACH OTHER.
YOU HAD ONE DATE.
WE COMMUNICATED. WE
REACHED OUT AND TOUCHED.
YOU WENT TO A TACO STAND.
JO, THE MAN TOYED
WITH MY AFFECTIONS.
YOU'LL GET OVER IT.
IT IS NOT THAT EASY.
I'M DRAINED. I'M EMPTY.
BUT NO SENSE
WALLOWING IN THE PAST.
WELCOME TO EDNA'S. I'M BLAIR.
FEEL FREE TO BROWSE.
I'M LOOKING FOR SOMEONE.
WHAT A COINCIDENCE.
OK, TOOTIE, SEVEN
CANS OF... HOT STUFF.
MY, THAT'S A HANDSOME
BADGE YOU'RE WEARING.
ARE YOU A MEMBER
OF OUR ARMED FORCES?
SKI PATROL.
I FEEL SO SAFE JUST
KNOWING YOU BOYS OUT THERE.
MAYBE I'VE COME TO
THE WRONG PLACE.
NOT A CHANCE, WE
HAVE EVERYTHING HERE.
AND IF YOU CAN'T FIND IT
WE'LL GET IT FOR
YOU WITHIN A WEEK.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING
FOR? MY FATHER.
SOME THINGS TAKE LONGER.
HE WASN'T AT HIS
HOTEL THIS MORNING
SO I FIGURED HE MIGHT BE HERE.
TED METCALF.
SORRY.
THIS IS EDNA GARRETT'S STORE?
EDNA GARRETT FROM
APPLETON, WISCONSIN?
IS YOUR FATHER
HER FRIEND OF HERS?
YEAH. I MEAN, HE WAS.
HE WAS PLANNING TO
DROP IN AND SURPRISE HER.
IT'S NOT LIKE MY
FATHER TO BE LATE.
WHEN HE SAYS
MEET ME ON THE 10th,
HE'S HERE ON THE 10th.
TODAY'S THE 9th.
OH, YOU'RE KIDDING.
WHEN I GET JET LAG...
LISTEN, PRETEND I WASN'T HERE.
DON'T SAY ANYTHING.
AND IT'LL STILL BE A SURPRISE,
AND MY FATHER WON'T KILL ME.
AND I'LL BE GOING NOW.
OH, EXCUSE ME. I DIDN'T SEE YOU.
GOOD. THAT'S GOOD.
WHO WAS THAT?
WE CAN'T TELL. IT'S A SURPRISE.
HIS FATHER IS COMING TO SEE YOU.
I HELD BACK AS LONG AS I COULD.
WHO'S HIS FATHER?
I THINK THAT WAS
THE SURPRISE PART.
ALL RIGHT WE MIGHT
AS WELL TELL YOU,
BUT YOU HAVE TO LOOK
SURPRISED WHEN HE COMES.
HIS NAME IS METCALF.
I DON'T KNOW ANY METCALF.
THEN YOU'LL BOTH BE SURPRISED.
THE ONLY METCALF I KNOW IS...
NO, IT COULDNT BE HIM.
WHO? WHO?
OH, IT'S JUST SOMEBODY I... NO.
TELL US!
OH, A BOY I HAPPENED
TO KNOW IN APPLETON.
THAT'S HIM. THE GUY ASKED
IF YOU WERE FROM APPLETON.
TED? TED METCALF?
I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM
SINCE HIGH SCHOOL.
THAT WAS OVER... WELL, I WAS 17.
OH, NO, IT MUST BE A MISTAKE.
IT COULDN'T BE HIM.
NOT AFTER WHAT I DID.
I'LL LOCK THE DOOR.
WE'LL GET THE CHAIRS.
OH, IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.
I'M SURE HE'S
FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT IT.
BUT IT'S HAUNTED YOU
YOUR WHOLE LIFE, RIGHT?
NOT HAUNTED.
I KNEW IT.
WE WERE HIGH-SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS.
AMD WHEN WE WERE IN THE
TENTH GRADE HE GAVE ME HIS PIN.
I WAS SO EXCITED, I
COULDN'T SLEEP ALL NIGHT.
HE GAVE YOU HIS PIN?
A HIGH SCHOOL PIN,
THEY USED TO DO IT
TO SHOW AFFECTION.
I KNOW THAT.
IT WAS THEN HE GAVE
ME MY FIRST KISS.
WE'D BEEN DATING
FOR A YEAR AND A HALF,
AND HE NEVER KISSED ME.
WE WERE BOTH VERY SHY.
HE WAS A LITTLE
SHIER THAN NECESSARY.
WELL, IF HE LOOKED
ANYTHING LIKE HIS SON,
HE MUST HAVE BEEN GORGEOUS.
HE WAS RELIABLE.
"RELIABLE"?
MRS. G, WE'RE LOSING
SOME OF THE ROMANCE HERE.
HE WAS A VERY NICE BOY
HE WAS KIND AND
CONSIDERATE AND...
I BROKE HIS HEART.
HOW?
IT WAS THE NIGHT OF SENIOR PROM.
TED WAS A LITTLE LATE.
HE HAD TO WORK HIS
FATHER'S HARDWARE STORE.
AND I WAS WAITING AT HOME.
AND HIS VACUUM CLEANER
SALESMAN CAME TO THE DOOR.
YOU BOUGHT AN UPRIGHT
AND BROKE HIS HEART?
I GAVE HIM A CUP OF COFFEE
AND WE SAT AND TALKED.
HE HAD ALL THESE DREAMS.
HE WANTED TO COUNT
THE NUMBER OF STEPS
ON THE PALACE OF VERSAILLES.
THE NEXT NIGHT, WE ELOPED.
HOW DID TED TAKE IT?
I DON'T KNOW.
BEFORE WE LEFT I WENT
OVER TO HIS HOUSE TO TELL HIM.
I COULDN'T FIND THE COURAGE.
I JUST LEFT HIS PIN
ON THE DOORMAT.
I HOPE HE DIDN'T STEP ON IT.
IT WAS THE ONLY TIME IN MY LIFE
THAT I DIDN'T FACE UP TO THINGS.
I JUST RAN AWAY.
AND YOU HAVEN'T SEEN HIM SINCE?
WELL, THEN THEN THAT'S IT.
HE'S COME BACK TO
REKINDLE THAT OLD LOVE.
OH, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
HE'S PROBABLY COMING THROUGH
TOWN ON HIS WAY TO SOMEWHERE.
OH, SURE. PEEKSKILL BEING
THE CROSS ROADS OF THE WORLD
JUST POPPING IN ON
HIS WAY TO KATMANDU.
HE HAS A SON, HE'S
PROBABLY HAPPILY MARRIED.
MAYBE THEY'RE GONNA OPEN
A HARDWARE STORE IN TOWN.
THEN HE'S COMING TO INVITE
YOU TO THEIR BONANZA DAY SALE.
HE'S COMING BACK
FOR YOU, MRS. GARRET.
IT'S THE ONLY
LOGICAL EXPLANATION.
YOU GIRLS HAVE THE
MOST ACTIVE IMAGINATIONS.
OH, HI, TED.
WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE.
OH AND THIS MUST BE YOUR WIFE.
YOUR LOVELY WIFE.
I CHECKED.
THERE AREN'T ANY HARDWARE
STORES ARE OPENING IN PEEKSKILL.
I WAS JUST BORROWING
YOUR, UH... PERFUME.
YOU LOOK VERY NICE.
WELL, I... IT'S JUST ONE OLD
FRIEND VISITING ANOTHER.
IF I WERE IN APPLETON, I'D CERTAINLY
WOULD DROP BY AND SEE HIM.
RIGHT, RIGHT.
WHAT IF HE'S NOT MARRIED?
HE'S HERE. OH, OH NO!
I FORGOT WHAT I
WAS GOING TO SAY?
I HAD IT ALL PLANNED,
I STARTED WITH, UH...
WHY DON'T YOU
START WITH "HELLO."
FROM THERE, YOU CAN GO ANYWHERE.
EDNA GARRETT, TED METCALF.
TED, EDNA.
TED.
EDNA.
YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.
OH, THIS OLD RAG?
NO, YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.
IT'S BEEN... A LONG TIME.
YEAH.
MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO SIT?
OH, YES. SORRY. UH... PLEASE.
WE'LL GET THE COFFEE.
NOTHING FOR ME, THANKS.
SO... HOW'S THE
HARDWARE BUSINESS?
I'M AFRAID I WOULDN'T KNOW.
I'M LECTURING AT
LANGLEY THIS WEEK.
I'M AN ART TEACHER NOW.
REALLY? HOW WONDERFUL!
I DON'T KNOW WHY I
ASSUMED THAT YOU...
YOU'RE AN ARTIST!
WELL, I HAVE A COUPLE
OF THINGS I'M PROUD OF.
YOU REMEMBER, IN HIGH SCHOOL,
I USE TO LIKE TO SKETCH
ALL THE TIME. YEAH.
I ALWAYS LIKE IT. YEAH.
SO I WENT TO PARIS,
KICKED AROUND FOR A WHILE,
FELL IN WITH THE WRONG KIND OF
FRENCHMEN AND ENDED UP A SCULPTOR.
SO THAT'S WHERE
YOU WENT AFTER...
AFTER YOU LEFT.
OH, TED, I WOULDN'T
BLAME YOU IF YOU HATED ME.
MY NOT TELLING YOU,
IT WAS UNFORGIVABLE.
IT WAS THE BEST THING
THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME.
WHAT?
WELL, NO...
I'M SORRY. THAT
DIDN'T COME OUT RIGHT.
WHAT I MEAN IS IF WE HAD...
I WOULD'VE SETTLED
DOWN IN APPLETON,
TAKEN OVER MY FATHER'S BUSINESS.
AND THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THAT,
INSTEAD, I WENT TO PARIS.
SO, IT ALL WORKED
OUT FOR THE BEST.
SOME THINGS DID.
YOU GOT MARRIED, HAD A SON.
GOT DIVORCED.
DIVORCED?
YOU KNEW ABOUT MY SON?
WELL, HE WAS HERE YESTERDAY.
HE SAID HE WAS
SUPPOSED TO MEET YOU,
BUT HE GOT HIS DATES MIXED UP.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE HIM.
UNFORTUNATELY, I DON'T
GET TO SEE TO MUCH OF HIM.
HE GREW UP WITH HIS MOTHER.
IN APPLETON?
NO, NO, CALIFORNIA. I
WANT HIM TO GO TO COLLEGE.
AND ALL HE WANTS
TO DO IS TEACH SKIING.
I KNOW. I'VE GOT TWO BOYS.
THEY'RE ON THEIR OWN NOW.
SO IS THEIR FATHER.
YOU'RE DIVORCED, TOO?
WELL... WELL...
WELL, I GUESS I BETTER BE GOING.
I JUST WANTED TO
STOP IN TO SAY HI.
I'M GLAD YOU DID.
KEVIN AND I ARE LEAVING FOR
CANADA SUNDAY, A VACATION.
I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE A GOOD
CHANCE FOR US TO GET TOGETHER.
GETTING TOGETHER'S GOOD.
WELL, YOU KNOW, A
CHANCE FOR US TO TALK.
TALKING'S GOOD.
IT SURE WAS NICE
SEEING YOU, EDNA.
NICE SEEING YOU, TOO.
BYE.
HE DIDN'T EVEN ASK YOU OUT?
HE SEEMED REALLY NICE.
HE IS NICE.
I'M GLAD HE DROPPED BY.
WELL, HE'S HERE FOR A
WEEK, MAYBE HE'LL CALL
OH, THAT'S OK. REALLY.
I'M JUST SO GLAD I GOT A
CHANCE TO APOLOGIZE TO HIM.
THAT'S ALL I WANTED.
ARE YOU BUSY FOR DINNER TONIGHT?
I'LL DRIVE.
WE'RE NEVER GOING TO GET
ALL THIS DONE. WHERE'S BLAIR?
SHE'S SHOVELING THE SIDEWALK.
BLAIR IS SHOVELING SNOW?
SHE SAID SHE HAD AN UNCONTROLLABLE
URGE TO GET BACK TO NATURE.
ALL DONE.
FINISHED THE WHOLE BLOCK.
WOULDN'T WANT ANYONE TO SLIP.
I THINK YOU'RE STARTING
TO GET THE HANG OF IT.
WELL, YOU'RE A
WONDERFUL INSTRUCTOR.
KEVIN'S TEACHING
ME TO SHOVEL SNOW.
I JUST LOVE THE WINTER.
IT'S JUST SO BASIC.
YOU HAVE ANY SALT?
I'LL PUT IT ON THE ICE.
I'LL DO THAT.
IS MY FATHER BACK YET?
MRS. GARRETT'S GIVING HIM THE REGULAR
15-MINUTE WALKING TOUR OF PEEKSKILL.
THEY'VE BEEN GONE
FOR THREE HOURS.
KEVIN, YOU LOOK EXHAUSTED.
LET ME HELP YOU OUT
OF THAT SNOW SHOVEL.
I'VE NEVER SEEN
MY FATHER LIKE THIS.
HE WALKS AROUND HUMMING.
HE'S HUMMING?
THIS ROMANCE NEEDS TIME TO GROW.
AND YOU'RE LEAVING SATURDAY?
BELIEVE ME, I'M NOT LOOKING
FORWARD TO THIS TRIP.
AS SOON AS WE'RE ALONE
HE'LL START IN ABOUT
HAVING A PURPOSE
IN LIFE SETTING GOALS
AND STARTING COLLEGE.
YOU WANT TO TAKE
TIME, LOOK AROUND.
FIND OUT WHAT THE
WORLD'S ALL ABOUT.
I WANT TO SKI.
I LIVE FOR THE SLOPES.
NATALIE, YOU DON'T
KNOW HOW TO SKI.
I'M JUST A LITTLE RUSTY.
YOU SLOW DOWN BY
DRAGGING YOUR FACE.
EXCUSE ME.
BUT HOW DO I KNOW
HOW MUCH TO PUT ON?
IT'S TO TASTE, BLAIR.
YOU RUINED IT!
DON'T MAKE EXCUSES!
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'VE
BEEN HAVING FUN.
ISN'T IT AMAZING HOW WELL YOU CAN
GET TO KNOW SOMEONE IN FIVE DAYS.
WE'VE HAD A BIT OF A HEAD START.
WHAT WAS IT TODAY...
MOVIES, THEATER, BALLET?
YOU MADE ANGELS.
I TRIED.
HE BROKE MY WING.
I DID NOT.
I FELL DOWN BECAUSE YOU
PUT SNOW DOWN MY BOOT.
I PUT SNOW DOWN YOUR BOOT
BECAUSE YOU PUT SNOW DOWN MY BACK.
I PUT SNOW DOWN YOUR
BACK BECAUSE IN 10th GRADE,
YOU MADE ME DANCE
WITH MARYJANE RILEY.
YOU GOT A POINT.
SNOW REALLY BRINGS
PEOPLE TOGETHER.
WE'RE EXPECTING MORE ON SUNDAY
OH, BUT YOU WON'T
BE HERE, WILL YOU?
UNLESS YOU POSTPONE YOUR TRIP.
THERE'S NOT MUCH CHANCE OF THAT.
WHEN MY FATHER MAKES A PLAN,
IT'S SET IN GRANITE.
OH, REALLY?
AS A MATTER OF FACT I WOULD
LIKE TO POSTPONE OUR TRIP.
YOU'RE STAYING?
NO.
EDNA AND I ARE GOING.
WITHOUT A CHAPERONE?
I DON'T THINK WE'LL NEED ONE.
WE'RE GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW.
THAT FLEXIBLE
ENOUGH FOR YOU, KID?
THE LOWRYS ARE ON VACATION.
THE BROWNS AREN'T HOME.
THE ABBY'S HAVE
THEIR MACHINE ON.
SO FAR, WE HAVE THREE
GUESTS AND NO HARPIST.
THIS WEDDING IS NOT
GOING TO HAPPEN.
BLAIR, LOOK. IT'S LATE.
WHY DON'T WE JUST CALL SOME
MORE PEOPLE IN THE MORNING.
IT'S SO ROMANTIC...
HIGH-SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS
BEING THROWN TOGETHER AGAIN
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.
IT WAS MEANT TO BE,
DON'T YOU THINK
THEY'RE RUSHING THINGS?
THEY'VE ONLY KNOWN
EACH OTHER FOR FIVE DAYS.
SHE'S KNOWN HIM
SINCE HIGH SCHOOL.
SHE KNEW HIM IN HIGH SCHOOL.
THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE.
SHE COULD BE
MAKING A BIG MISTAKE.
BELIEVE ME, MRS. GARRETT
KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING.
SHE WON'T BE MRS.
GARRETT ANYMORE.
YEAH. SHE'LL BE MRS. METCALF.
"HEY, HOW YOU DOING, MRS. M?"
"HEY, MRS. M."
I HATE IT.
I'M SORRY, I CAN
NOT CALL HER THAT.
HE CAN SHARE OUR BATHROOM,
BUT SHE KEEPS THE OLD NAME.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"SHARE OUR BATHROOM"?
WELL, HE'S GONNA BE MOVING IN.
NOT NECESSARILY.
SHE MIGHT GO OFF WITH HIM.
AND SELL THE SHOP?
I GUESS THAT MEANS
WE'D WE'D HAVE TO MOVE.
GOOD GUESS.
WHERE COULD WE GO? IT'S WINTER.
YOU'D THINK THEY'D
HAVE THE DECENCY
TO WAIT TILL THE WEATHER BREAKS.
HI!
WELL, I'VE GOT THE
"SOMETHING BLUE."
NOW I NEED "SOMETHING BORROWED."
AM I INTERRUPTING SOMETHING?
WE WERE JUST TALKING
ABOUT TOMORROW.
HEY, I'M SORRY WE COULDN'T
GIVE YOU MORE NOTICE.
BUT WE WERE MAKING
SNOW ANGELS AND TED SAID,
"EDNA YOU HAVE SNOW IN
YOUR EARS. WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
I CRIED.
MRS. GARRETT.
YES?
YOU CAN BORROW THIS.
OH, THANK YOU, BLAIR.
DON'T WORRY. IT'S INSURED.
WELL...
I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.
HI, WELCOME. HELLO, WELCOME.
GLAD YOU COULD MAKE
IT. HELLO, WELCOME.
NICE PEOPLE.
WHO ARE THEY?
NO IDEA.
WE COULDN'T REACH
MRS. GARRETT'S FRIENDS.
SO TOOTIE PUT A SIGN
UP IN THE SUPERMARKET.
1:15.
KEVIN WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE HERE WITH THE RING.
YOU'D THINK OF ALL
DAYS HE'D BE ON TIME.
MAYBE HE'S TIED UP IN TRAFFIC
OR HE'S GETTING
HIS TUXEDO FITTED.
I OFFERED TO DO IT FOR HIM.
OK, WE HAVE THE DECORATIONS,
THE FLOWERS THE PHOTOGRAPHER...
WHERE'S JO?
SHE'S GETTING THE G-I-F-T.
LUCKY HE ISN'T AN
ENGLISH PROFESSOR.
HAVE YOU SEEN KEVIN?
NO.
I GOT TO GO LOOK FOR HIM.
I GOT IT.
OH! YOU GOT IT ENGRAVED!
"EDNA AND TED FOREVER."
WHAT IS IT?
A ROAD HAZARD KIT.
I FIGURED THEIR FIRST
TRIP SHOULD BE A SAFE ONE.
AND IT'S GOT FLASHING
LIGHTS, FLARES, CB.
THIS WEDDING IS
GOING DOWN THE TUBES.
I THINK IT'S GREAT. I
HATE IMPRACTICAL GIFTS.
OH, IT'S WONDERFUL.
IF THEY GET BORED ON
THEIR WEDDING NIGHT,
THEY CAN TALK TO PASSING TRUCKS.
I'M GOING TO GO SEE
HOW MRS. G'S HOLDING UP.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO
DO WITH ALL THESE PEOPLE?
WE'LL PUT THE BRIDE'S
FRIENDS ON THE LEFT,
LUCKY SHOPPERS, RIGHT.
♪ DOO DOO-DOO-DOO ♪
♪ DOO DOO-DOO... ♪
HI. HI.
HOW YOU DOING?
GREAT, JUST GREAT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I RAN OUT OF HAIR SPRAY.
♪ DOO-WOP DOO WOP ♪
DON'T YOU LOVE GLENN MILLER?
LOVE HIM.
MRS. GARRETT, YOU OK?
STOMACH QUEASY, NERVES ON EDGE?
NO. DID I TELL YOU
OUR ITINERARY?
FIRST, WE'RE GOING TO TORONTO,
THEN THREE DAYS IN MONTREAL.
AND THEN WE WING
TO SASKATCHEWAN.
AND TED SAYS THERE
ARE CARIBOU OUT THERE.
CARIBOU? WOW!
MRS. GARRETT, WE NEED TO TALK.
SURE.
WELL, IT'S JUST...
YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED.
IN 15 MINUTES.
WE LIKE TED.
WE THINK HE'S A GREAT GUY.
WE'RE VERY HAPPY YOU FOUND HIM.
VERY HAPPY.
BUT DON'T YOU THINK YOU MIGHT BE
POSSIBLY RUSHING INTO THIS MARRIAGE?
NO. JUST CHECKING.
THANKS. YOU'RE WELCOME.
OK, LET'S GET IT OUT.
YOU THINK I'M JUMPING
INTO IT WITH EYES CLOSED.
YOU'VE ONLY KNOWN HIM SIX DAYS.
WE DATED FOR FOUR YEARS.
YOU WERE TEENAGERS THEN.
YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT EACH OTHER.
WE KNOW WE LOVE EACH OTHER.
THE KIND OF TOOTHPASTE HE USES
WILL HAVE TO COME AS A SHOCK.
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO ONE OF US
IF WE WANTED TO MARRY A
GUY WE JUST MET LAST WEEK?
I'D SAY EXACTLY
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'M NOT LOOKING
AT THIS RATIONALLY,
AND I DON'T WANT TO.
I'M GOING SIMPLY ON INSTINCT.
I MADE A MISTAKE
ONCE AND I LOST HIM
I DON'T WANT TO LOSE HIM AGAIN.
OKAY?
OKAY.
I'LL GO SEE IF THE
MINISTER'S HERE.
MRS. GARRETT, Y0U
HAVE TERRIFIC INSTINCTS.
OH, NATALIE.
THANKS.
I GOT THE RING. YOU ARE LATE.
I'M SORRY, I HAD
SOMETHING I HAD TO DO.
TEN MINUTES MORE AND THERE
WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN A WEDDING.
I'M SORRY, OKAY?
THAT MAKES EVERYTHING OKAY, HUH?
OH, HELLO. I'M GLAD YOU
COULD COME. I'M TED METCALF.
WHERE ARE THE REFRESHMENTS?
I'M SURE THEY'LL BE SERVED
AFTER THE CEREMONY.
THE SIGN SAID "REFRESHMENTS."
HI. WOULD YOU LIKE
TO HAVE A SEAT?
THANK YOU.
HELLO, I'M LOOKING
FOR THE METCALF PARTY?
PARTY IS AFTER THE
CEREMONY. GET IN LINE.
REVEREND HAVWOOD,
HI, I'M JO POLNIACZEK.
TOOTIE, GET THE
REVEREND A CUP OF TEA.
WHY DOES HE GET
TEA? WE DON'T GET TEA.
MR. METCALF, I DON'T
MEAN TO BE DISRESPECTFUL,
BUT IT SEEMS THE TWO OF YOU
ARE HAVING A LITTLE PROBLEM.
MAYBE THIS ISN'T THE
BEST TIME TO WORK IT OUT.
THAT'S FINE WITH ME.
OH, SURE, IT WOULD BE.
OR MAYBE IT IS.
I'M SORRY ABOUT BEING
LATE. I KNOW HOW IT BUGS YOU.
COME ON, HE'S SORRY.
OH, I MUST BE A LITTLE
EDGY OR SOMETHING.
I'M SORRY. I SHOULDN'T
BE TAKING IT OUT ON YOU.
TERRIFIC, HE'S
SORRY, YOU'RE SORRY.
PRETTY WELL WRAPS IT UP.
YOU JUST TAKE THESE
THINGS SO CASUALLY.
I TOLD YOU, I HAD
SOMETHING TO DO.
WELL, THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE
PLANNED FOR IT OR POSTPONED IT.
I MEAN, WHAT WAS SO IMPORTANT
TO KEEP US ALL WAITING?
WHAT'S THIS?
I REGISTERED AT LANGLEY.
JUST A COUPLE OF COURSES,
BUT I KNOW HOW YOU
FEEL ABOUT SETTING GOALS.
OH, KEVIN, YOU COULDN'T
GIVE ME A BETTER PRESENT.
THANKS, PAL. THANKS.
JUST TWO COURSES, HUH?
TRUTH IS, I WAS
READY AN HOUR AGO.
I JUST HAD TO GO FOR A WALK.
THIS WHOLE THING'S
SORT OF THROWN ME.
I'M ALWAYS THE ONE WHO
DOES THINGS ON IMPULSE.
AND YOU'RE ALWAYS THE ONE
WHO THINKS THINGS THROUGH.
I GUESS I'M JUST NOT USED
TO YOU ACTING LIKE ME.
HEY, I GUESS I'M NOT
USED TO IT EITHER.
OH, AND THIS IS FOR EDNA.
IT WAS LAST MINUTE.
OH, THANK YOU, KEVIN.
OKAY, TWO MINUTES
TO SPARE, UNLESS...
NO. GREAT.
I THINK WE'RE READY.
EVERYBODY'S SEATED.
I'LL GO TELL MRS. G.
MRS. "M," START BREAKING IT IN.
NO, NO, LET ME GO TELL HER.
I WANT TO GIVE HER HER PRESENT.
I DON'T KNOW. IT'S BAD LUCK TO
SEE THE BRIDE BEFORE THE WEDDING.
I'M FEELING RECKLESS.
HI. HI.
JUST ABOUT READY?
YEAH. I WAS SHOWING THE
GIRLS OUR YEARBOOK LAST NIGHT.
BOY, YOU'VE STILL
GOT THAT OLD THING?
MM-HMM.
DO YOU REMEMBER STEVEN EDWARDS?
YEAH, SURE, HE
MARRIED PATTY BORDEAU.
AND THEN TINA MOORE,
AND THEN JANE GOWDY,
AND THEN PENNY SOMEBODY.
WHAT WAS HER NAME?
OH LOOK, MR. PETERBILT.
HE WAS MY FAVORITE TEACHER.
HE WAS THE JANITOR.
HE WAS NOT. YES, HE WAS.
YOUR FAVORITE TEACHER
WAS MR. PETERSON.
ARE YOU SURE?
MM-MMM.
MR. PETERSON TAUGHT ENGLISH LIT.
MR. PETERBILT
TAUGHT ME TAUGHT ME
NOT TO SMOKE IN
THE JANITOR'S CLOSET.
ARE THEY STILL MARRIED?
I DON'T THINK THEY WERE
EVER EVER ENGAGED.
I MEAN STEVEN EDWARDS
AND PENNY SOMEBODY.
THE LAST TIME I CHECKED
ABOUT 20 YEARS AGO, YES.
TED, WHAT KIND OF
TOOTHPASTE DO YOU USE?
I DON'T.
MAYBE I SHOULD
KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU.
BAKING SODA, STRAIGHT
FROM THE BOX. AND YOU?
TOOTH POWDER.
THAT'S IT. IT'S OVER.
WHAT'S THAT?
OH, THAT'S FOR YOU, IT'S
A PRESENT FROM KEVIN.
OH, THANK YOU.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
IT'S A SKIER... YEAH.
GOING OFF A CLIFF.
IT'S A RAMP, BUT I
THINK IT'S THE SAME IDEA.
YOU THINK THAT'S US?
NO.
YOU'RE RIGHT. HE
HAS HIS EYES OPEN.
THIS ISN'T US, IS IT?
I DON'T KNOW, EDNA.
THIS IS THE EIGHTIES.
THINGS ARE GOING SO FAST.
AND WE'RE JUST
GOING ALONG WITH IT.
IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY,
IT TOOK YOU A YEAR AND A HALF
JUST TO WORK UP
THE NERVE TO KISS ME.
TED... TED... DO YOU THINK MAYBE
WE COULD TAKE THIS
ONE STEP AT A TIME?
THAT DEPENDS. WHAT
WOULD THE FIRST STEP BE?
WANT TO GO STEADY?
THEY'RE EXPECTING A
WEDDING DOWNSTAIRS.
WE COULD MAKE IT A
GOING STEADY PARTY?
I LIKE IT.
OH, GOOD.
EDNA, THERE'S SOMETHING
I WANT YOU TO HAVE.
YOUR HIGH SCHOOL PIN.
OH, TED.
I DON'T THINK I'M
GONNA SLEEP ALL NIGHT.
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪
TWO TUBES OF ESCARGOT.
CHECK.
HE JUST BROKE IT
OFF, JUST LIKE THAT.
AFTER ALL WE MEANT
TO EACH OTHER.
YOU HAD ONE DATE.
WE COMMUNICATED. WE
REACHED OUT AND TOUCHED.
YOU WENT TO A TACO STAND.
JO, THE MAN TOYED
WITH MY AFFECTIONS.
YOU'LL GET OVER IT.
IT IS NOT THAT EASY.
I'M DRAINED. I'M EMPTY.
BUT NO SENSE
WALLOWING IN THE PAST.
WELCOME TO EDNA'S. I'M BLAIR.
FEEL FREE TO BROWSE.
I'M LOOKING FOR SOMEONE.
WHAT A COINCIDENCE.
OK, TOOTIE, SEVEN
CANS OF... HOT STUFF.
MY, THAT'S A HANDSOME
BADGE YOU'RE WEARING.
ARE YOU A MEMBER
OF OUR ARMED FORCES?
SKI PATROL.
I FEEL SO SAFE JUST
KNOWING YOU BOYS OUT THERE.
MAYBE I'VE COME TO
THE WRONG PLACE.
NOT A CHANCE, WE
HAVE EVERYTHING HERE.
AND IF YOU CAN'T FIND IT
WE'LL GET IT FOR
YOU WITHIN A WEEK.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING
FOR? MY FATHER.
SOME THINGS TAKE LONGER.
HE WASN'T AT HIS
HOTEL THIS MORNING
SO I FIGURED HE MIGHT BE HERE.
TED METCALF.
SORRY.
THIS IS EDNA GARRETT'S STORE?
EDNA GARRETT FROM
APPLETON, WISCONSIN?
IS YOUR FATHER
HER FRIEND OF HERS?
YEAH. I MEAN, HE WAS.
HE WAS PLANNING TO
DROP IN AND SURPRISE HER.
IT'S NOT LIKE MY
FATHER TO BE LATE.
WHEN HE SAYS
MEET ME ON THE 10th,
HE'S HERE ON THE 10th.
TODAY'S THE 9th.
OH, YOU'RE KIDDING.
WHEN I GET JET LAG...
LISTEN, PRETEND I WASN'T HERE.
DON'T SAY ANYTHING.
AND IT'LL STILL BE A SURPRISE,
AND MY FATHER WON'T KILL ME.
AND I'LL BE GOING NOW.
OH, EXCUSE ME. I DIDN'T SEE YOU.
GOOD. THAT'S GOOD.
WHO WAS THAT?
WE CAN'T TELL. IT'S A SURPRISE.
HIS FATHER IS COMING TO SEE YOU.
I HELD BACK AS LONG AS I COULD.
WHO'S HIS FATHER?
I THINK THAT WAS
THE SURPRISE PART.
ALL RIGHT WE MIGHT
AS WELL TELL YOU,
BUT YOU HAVE TO LOOK
SURPRISED WHEN HE COMES.
HIS NAME IS METCALF.
I DON'T KNOW ANY METCALF.
THEN YOU'LL BOTH BE SURPRISED.
THE ONLY METCALF I KNOW IS...
NO, IT COULDNT BE HIM.
WHO? WHO?
OH, IT'S JUST SOMEBODY I... NO.
TELL US!
OH, A BOY I HAPPENED
TO KNOW IN APPLETON.
THAT'S HIM. THE GUY ASKED
IF YOU WERE FROM APPLETON.
TED? TED METCALF?
I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM
SINCE HIGH SCHOOL.
THAT WAS OVER... WELL, I WAS 17.
OH, NO, IT MUST BE A MISTAKE.
IT COULDN'T BE HIM.
NOT AFTER WHAT I DID.
I'LL LOCK THE DOOR.
WE'LL GET THE CHAIRS.
OH, IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.
I'M SURE HE'S
FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT IT.
BUT IT'S HAUNTED YOU
YOUR WHOLE LIFE, RIGHT?
NOT HAUNTED.
I KNEW IT.
WE WERE HIGH-SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS.
AMD WHEN WE WERE IN THE
TENTH GRADE HE GAVE ME HIS PIN.
I WAS SO EXCITED, I
COULDN'T SLEEP ALL NIGHT.
HE GAVE YOU HIS PIN?
A HIGH SCHOOL PIN,
THEY USED TO DO IT
TO SHOW AFFECTION.
I KNOW THAT.
IT WAS THEN HE GAVE
ME MY FIRST KISS.
WE'D BEEN DATING
FOR A YEAR AND A HALF,
AND HE NEVER KISSED ME.
WE WERE BOTH VERY SHY.
HE WAS A LITTLE
SHIER THAN NECESSARY.
WELL, IF HE LOOKED
ANYTHING LIKE HIS SON,
HE MUST HAVE BEEN GORGEOUS.
HE WAS RELIABLE.
"RELIABLE"?
MRS. G, WE'RE LOSING
SOME OF THE ROMANCE HERE.
HE WAS A VERY NICE BOY
HE WAS KIND AND
CONSIDERATE AND...
I BROKE HIS HEART.
HOW?
IT WAS THE NIGHT OF SENIOR PROM.
TED WAS A LITTLE LATE.
HE HAD TO WORK HIS
FATHER'S HARDWARE STORE.
AND I WAS WAITING AT HOME.
AND HIS VACUUM CLEANER
SALESMAN CAME TO THE DOOR.
YOU BOUGHT AN UPRIGHT
AND BROKE HIS HEART?
I GAVE HIM A CUP OF COFFEE
AND WE SAT AND TALKED.
HE HAD ALL THESE DREAMS.
HE WANTED TO COUNT
THE NUMBER OF STEPS
ON THE PALACE OF VERSAILLES.
THE NEXT NIGHT, WE ELOPED.
HOW DID TED TAKE IT?
I DON'T KNOW.
BEFORE WE LEFT I WENT
OVER TO HIS HOUSE TO TELL HIM.
I COULDN'T FIND THE COURAGE.
I JUST LEFT HIS PIN
ON THE DOORMAT.
I HOPE HE DIDN'T STEP ON IT.
IT WAS THE ONLY TIME IN MY LIFE
THAT I DIDN'T FACE UP TO THINGS.
I JUST RAN AWAY.
AND YOU HAVEN'T SEEN HIM SINCE?
WELL, THEN THEN THAT'S IT.
HE'S COME BACK TO
REKINDLE THAT OLD LOVE.
OH, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
HE'S PROBABLY COMING THROUGH
TOWN ON HIS WAY TO SOMEWHERE.
OH, SURE. PEEKSKILL BEING
THE CROSS ROADS OF THE WORLD
JUST POPPING IN ON
HIS WAY TO KATMANDU.
HE HAS A SON, HE'S
PROBABLY HAPPILY MARRIED.
MAYBE THEY'RE GONNA OPEN
A HARDWARE STORE IN TOWN.
THEN HE'S COMING TO INVITE
YOU TO THEIR BONANZA DAY SALE.
HE'S COMING BACK
FOR YOU, MRS. GARRET.
IT'S THE ONLY
LOGICAL EXPLANATION.
YOU GIRLS HAVE THE
MOST ACTIVE IMAGINATIONS.
OH, HI, TED.
WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE.
OH AND THIS MUST BE YOUR WIFE.
YOUR LOVELY WIFE.
I CHECKED.
THERE AREN'T ANY HARDWARE
STORES ARE OPENING IN PEEKSKILL.
I WAS JUST BORROWING
YOUR, UH... PERFUME.
YOU LOOK VERY NICE.
WELL, I... IT'S JUST ONE OLD
FRIEND VISITING ANOTHER.
IF I WERE IN APPLETON, I'D CERTAINLY
WOULD DROP BY AND SEE HIM.
RIGHT, RIGHT.
WHAT IF HE'S NOT MARRIED?
HE'S HERE. OH, OH NO!
I FORGOT WHAT I
WAS GOING TO SAY?
I HAD IT ALL PLANNED,
I STARTED WITH, UH...
WHY DON'T YOU
START WITH "HELLO."
FROM THERE, YOU CAN GO ANYWHERE.
EDNA GARRETT, TED METCALF.
TED, EDNA.
TED.
EDNA.
YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.
OH, THIS OLD RAG?
NO, YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.
IT'S BEEN... A LONG TIME.
YEAH.
MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO SIT?
OH, YES. SORRY. UH... PLEASE.
WE'LL GET THE COFFEE.
NOTHING FOR ME, THANKS.
SO... HOW'S THE
HARDWARE BUSINESS?
I'M AFRAID I WOULDN'T KNOW.
I'M LECTURING AT
LANGLEY THIS WEEK.
I'M AN ART TEACHER NOW.
REALLY? HOW WONDERFUL!
I DON'T KNOW WHY I
ASSUMED THAT YOU...
YOU'RE AN ARTIST!
WELL, I HAVE A COUPLE
OF THINGS I'M PROUD OF.
YOU REMEMBER, IN HIGH SCHOOL,
I USE TO LIKE TO SKETCH
ALL THE TIME. YEAH.
I ALWAYS LIKE IT. YEAH.
SO I WENT TO PARIS,
KICKED AROUND FOR A WHILE,
FELL IN WITH THE WRONG KIND OF
FRENCHMEN AND ENDED UP A SCULPTOR.
SO THAT'S WHERE
YOU WENT AFTER...
AFTER YOU LEFT.
OH, TED, I WOULDN'T
BLAME YOU IF YOU HATED ME.
MY NOT TELLING YOU,
IT WAS UNFORGIVABLE.
IT WAS THE BEST THING
THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME.
WHAT?
WELL, NO...
I'M SORRY. THAT
DIDN'T COME OUT RIGHT.
WHAT I MEAN IS IF WE HAD...
I WOULD'VE SETTLED
DOWN IN APPLETON,
TAKEN OVER MY FATHER'S BUSINESS.
AND THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THAT,
INSTEAD, I WENT TO PARIS.
SO, IT ALL WORKED
OUT FOR THE BEST.
SOME THINGS DID.
YOU GOT MARRIED, HAD A SON.
GOT DIVORCED.
DIVORCED?
YOU KNEW ABOUT MY SON?
WELL, HE WAS HERE YESTERDAY.
HE SAID HE WAS
SUPPOSED TO MEET YOU,
BUT HE GOT HIS DATES MIXED UP.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE HIM.
UNFORTUNATELY, I DON'T
GET TO SEE TO MUCH OF HIM.
HE GREW UP WITH HIS MOTHER.
IN APPLETON?
NO, NO, CALIFORNIA. I
WANT HIM TO GO TO COLLEGE.
AND ALL HE WANTS
TO DO IS TEACH SKIING.
I KNOW. I'VE GOT TWO BOYS.
THEY'RE ON THEIR OWN NOW.
SO IS THEIR FATHER.
YOU'RE DIVORCED, TOO?
WELL... WELL...
WELL, I GUESS I BETTER BE GOING.
I JUST WANTED TO
STOP IN TO SAY HI.
I'M GLAD YOU DID.
KEVIN AND I ARE LEAVING FOR
CANADA SUNDAY, A VACATION.
I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE A GOOD
CHANCE FOR US TO GET TOGETHER.
GETTING TOGETHER'S GOOD.
WELL, YOU KNOW, A
CHANCE FOR US TO TALK.
TALKING'S GOOD.
IT SURE WAS NICE
SEEING YOU, EDNA.
NICE SEEING YOU, TOO.
BYE.
HE DIDN'T EVEN ASK YOU OUT?
HE SEEMED REALLY NICE.
HE IS NICE.
I'M GLAD HE DROPPED BY.
WELL, HE'S HERE FOR A
WEEK, MAYBE HE'LL CALL
OH, THAT'S OK. REALLY.
I'M JUST SO GLAD I GOT A
CHANCE TO APOLOGIZE TO HIM.
THAT'S ALL I WANTED.
ARE YOU BUSY FOR DINNER TONIGHT?
I'LL DRIVE.
WE'RE NEVER GOING TO GET
ALL THIS DONE. WHERE'S BLAIR?
SHE'S SHOVELING THE SIDEWALK.
BLAIR IS SHOVELING SNOW?
SHE SAID SHE HAD AN UNCONTROLLABLE
URGE TO GET BACK TO NATURE.
ALL DONE.
FINISHED THE WHOLE BLOCK.
WOULDN'T WANT ANYONE TO SLIP.
I THINK YOU'RE STARTING
TO GET THE HANG OF IT.
WELL, YOU'RE A
WONDERFUL INSTRUCTOR.
KEVIN'S TEACHING
ME TO SHOVEL SNOW.
I JUST LOVE THE WINTER.
IT'S JUST SO BASIC.
YOU HAVE ANY SALT?
I'LL PUT IT ON THE ICE.
I'LL DO THAT.
IS MY FATHER BACK YET?
MRS. GARRETT'S GIVING HIM THE REGULAR
15-MINUTE WALKING TOUR OF PEEKSKILL.
THEY'VE BEEN GONE
FOR THREE HOURS.
KEVIN, YOU LOOK EXHAUSTED.
LET ME HELP YOU OUT
OF THAT SNOW SHOVEL.
I'VE NEVER SEEN
MY FATHER LIKE THIS.
HE WALKS AROUND HUMMING.
HE'S HUMMING?
THIS ROMANCE NEEDS TIME TO GROW.
AND YOU'RE LEAVING SATURDAY?
BELIEVE ME, I'M NOT LOOKING
FORWARD TO THIS TRIP.
AS SOON AS WE'RE ALONE
HE'LL START IN ABOUT
HAVING A PURPOSE
IN LIFE SETTING GOALS
AND STARTING COLLEGE.
YOU WANT TO TAKE
TIME, LOOK AROUND.
FIND OUT WHAT THE
WORLD'S ALL ABOUT.
I WANT TO SKI.
I LIVE FOR THE SLOPES.
NATALIE, YOU DON'T
KNOW HOW TO SKI.
I'M JUST A LITTLE RUSTY.
YOU SLOW DOWN BY
DRAGGING YOUR FACE.
EXCUSE ME.
BUT HOW DO I KNOW
HOW MUCH TO PUT ON?
IT'S TO TASTE, BLAIR.
YOU RUINED IT!
DON'T MAKE EXCUSES!
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'VE
BEEN HAVING FUN.
ISN'T IT AMAZING HOW WELL YOU CAN
GET TO KNOW SOMEONE IN FIVE DAYS.
WE'VE HAD A BIT OF A HEAD START.
WHAT WAS IT TODAY...
MOVIES, THEATER, BALLET?
YOU MADE ANGELS.
I TRIED.
HE BROKE MY WING.
I DID NOT.
I FELL DOWN BECAUSE YOU
PUT SNOW DOWN MY BOOT.
I PUT SNOW DOWN YOUR BOOT
BECAUSE YOU PUT SNOW DOWN MY BACK.
I PUT SNOW DOWN YOUR
BACK BECAUSE IN 10th GRADE,
YOU MADE ME DANCE
WITH MARYJANE RILEY.
YOU GOT A POINT.
SNOW REALLY BRINGS
PEOPLE TOGETHER.
WE'RE EXPECTING MORE ON SUNDAY
OH, BUT YOU WON'T
BE HERE, WILL YOU?
UNLESS YOU POSTPONE YOUR TRIP.
THERE'S NOT MUCH CHANCE OF THAT.
WHEN MY FATHER MAKES A PLAN,
IT'S SET IN GRANITE.
OH, REALLY?
AS A MATTER OF FACT I WOULD
LIKE TO POSTPONE OUR TRIP.
YOU'RE STAYING?
NO.
EDNA AND I ARE GOING.
WITHOUT A CHAPERONE?
I DON'T THINK WE'LL NEED ONE.
WE'RE GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW.
THAT FLEXIBLE
ENOUGH FOR YOU, KID?
THE LOWRYS ARE ON VACATION.
THE BROWNS AREN'T HOME.
THE ABBY'S HAVE
THEIR MACHINE ON.
SO FAR, WE HAVE THREE
GUESTS AND NO HARPIST.
THIS WEDDING IS NOT
GOING TO HAPPEN.
BLAIR, LOOK. IT'S LATE.
WHY DON'T WE JUST CALL SOME
MORE PEOPLE IN THE MORNING.
IT'S SO ROMANTIC...
HIGH-SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS
BEING THROWN TOGETHER AGAIN
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.
IT WAS MEANT TO BE,
DON'T YOU THINK
THEY'RE RUSHING THINGS?
THEY'VE ONLY KNOWN
EACH OTHER FOR FIVE DAYS.
SHE'S KNOWN HIM
SINCE HIGH SCHOOL.
SHE KNEW HIM IN HIGH SCHOOL.
THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE.
SHE COULD BE
MAKING A BIG MISTAKE.
BELIEVE ME, MRS. GARRETT
KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING.
SHE WON'T BE MRS.
GARRETT ANYMORE.
YEAH. SHE'LL BE MRS. METCALF.
"HEY, HOW YOU DOING, MRS. M?"
"HEY, MRS. M."
I HATE IT.
I'M SORRY, I CAN
NOT CALL HER THAT.
HE CAN SHARE OUR BATHROOM,
BUT SHE KEEPS THE OLD NAME.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"SHARE OUR BATHROOM"?
WELL, HE'S GONNA BE MOVING IN.
NOT NECESSARILY.
SHE MIGHT GO OFF WITH HIM.
AND SELL THE SHOP?
I GUESS THAT MEANS
WE'D WE'D HAVE TO MOVE.
GOOD GUESS.
WHERE COULD WE GO? IT'S WINTER.
YOU'D THINK THEY'D
HAVE THE DECENCY
TO WAIT TILL THE WEATHER BREAKS.
HI!
WELL, I'VE GOT THE
"SOMETHING BLUE."
NOW I NEED "SOMETHING BORROWED."
AM I INTERRUPTING SOMETHING?
WE WERE JUST TALKING
ABOUT TOMORROW.
HEY, I'M SORRY WE COULDN'T
GIVE YOU MORE NOTICE.
BUT WE WERE MAKING
SNOW ANGELS AND TED SAID,
"EDNA YOU HAVE SNOW IN
YOUR EARS. WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
I CRIED.
MRS. GARRETT.
YES?
YOU CAN BORROW THIS.
OH, THANK YOU, BLAIR.
DON'T WORRY. IT'S INSURED.
WELL...
I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.
HI, WELCOME. HELLO, WELCOME.
GLAD YOU COULD MAKE
IT. HELLO, WELCOME.
NICE PEOPLE.
WHO ARE THEY?
NO IDEA.
WE COULDN'T REACH
MRS. GARRETT'S FRIENDS.
SO TOOTIE PUT A SIGN
UP IN THE SUPERMARKET.
1:15.
KEVIN WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE HERE WITH THE RING.
YOU'D THINK OF ALL
DAYS HE'D BE ON TIME.
MAYBE HE'S TIED UP IN TRAFFIC
OR HE'S GETTING
HIS TUXEDO FITTED.
I OFFERED TO DO IT FOR HIM.
OK, WE HAVE THE DECORATIONS,
THE FLOWERS THE PHOTOGRAPHER...
WHERE'S JO?
SHE'S GETTING THE G-I-F-T.
LUCKY HE ISN'T AN
ENGLISH PROFESSOR.
HAVE YOU SEEN KEVIN?
NO.
I GOT TO GO LOOK FOR HIM.
I GOT IT.
OH! YOU GOT IT ENGRAVED!
"EDNA AND TED FOREVER."
WHAT IS IT?
A ROAD HAZARD KIT.
I FIGURED THEIR FIRST
TRIP SHOULD BE A SAFE ONE.
AND IT'S GOT FLASHING
LIGHTS, FLARES, CB.
THIS WEDDING IS
GOING DOWN THE TUBES.
I THINK IT'S GREAT. I
HATE IMPRACTICAL GIFTS.
OH, IT'S WONDERFUL.
IF THEY GET BORED ON
THEIR WEDDING NIGHT,
THEY CAN TALK TO PASSING TRUCKS.
I'M GOING TO GO SEE
HOW MRS. G'S HOLDING UP.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO
DO WITH ALL THESE PEOPLE?
WE'LL PUT THE BRIDE'S
FRIENDS ON THE LEFT,
LUCKY SHOPPERS, RIGHT.
♪ DOO DOO-DOO-DOO ♪
♪ DOO DOO-DOO... ♪
HI. HI.
HOW YOU DOING?
GREAT, JUST GREAT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I RAN OUT OF HAIR SPRAY.
♪ DOO-WOP DOO WOP ♪
DON'T YOU LOVE GLENN MILLER?
LOVE HIM.
MRS. GARRETT, YOU OK?
STOMACH QUEASY, NERVES ON EDGE?
NO. DID I TELL YOU
OUR ITINERARY?
FIRST, WE'RE GOING TO TORONTO,
THEN THREE DAYS IN MONTREAL.
AND THEN WE WING
TO SASKATCHEWAN.
AND TED SAYS THERE
ARE CARIBOU OUT THERE.
CARIBOU? WOW!
MRS. GARRETT, WE NEED TO TALK.
SURE.
WELL, IT'S JUST...
YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED.
IN 15 MINUTES.
WE LIKE TED.
WE THINK HE'S A GREAT GUY.
WE'RE VERY HAPPY YOU FOUND HIM.
VERY HAPPY.
BUT DON'T YOU THINK YOU MIGHT BE
POSSIBLY RUSHING INTO THIS MARRIAGE?
NO. JUST CHECKING.
THANKS. YOU'RE WELCOME.
OK, LET'S GET IT OUT.
YOU THINK I'M JUMPING
INTO IT WITH EYES CLOSED.
YOU'VE ONLY KNOWN HIM SIX DAYS.
WE DATED FOR FOUR YEARS.
YOU WERE TEENAGERS THEN.
YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT EACH OTHER.
WE KNOW WE LOVE EACH OTHER.
THE KIND OF TOOTHPASTE HE USES
WILL HAVE TO COME AS A SHOCK.
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO ONE OF US
IF WE WANTED TO MARRY A
GUY WE JUST MET LAST WEEK?
I'D SAY EXACTLY
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'M NOT LOOKING
AT THIS RATIONALLY,
AND I DON'T WANT TO.
I'M GOING SIMPLY ON INSTINCT.
I MADE A MISTAKE
ONCE AND I LOST HIM
I DON'T WANT TO LOSE HIM AGAIN.
OKAY?
OKAY.
I'LL GO SEE IF THE
MINISTER'S HERE.
MRS. GARRETT, Y0U
HAVE TERRIFIC INSTINCTS.
OH, NATALIE.
THANKS.
I GOT THE RING. YOU ARE LATE.
I'M SORRY, I HAD
SOMETHING I HAD TO DO.
TEN MINUTES MORE AND THERE
WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN A WEDDING.
I'M SORRY, OKAY?
THAT MAKES EVERYTHING OKAY, HUH?
OH, HELLO. I'M GLAD YOU
COULD COME. I'M TED METCALF.
WHERE ARE THE REFRESHMENTS?
I'M SURE THEY'LL BE SERVED
AFTER THE CEREMONY.
THE SIGN SAID "REFRESHMENTS."
HI. WOULD YOU LIKE
TO HAVE A SEAT?
THANK YOU.
HELLO, I'M LOOKING
FOR THE METCALF PARTY?
PARTY IS AFTER THE
CEREMONY. GET IN LINE.
REVEREND HAVWOOD,
HI, I'M JO POLNIACZEK.
TOOTIE, GET THE
REVEREND A CUP OF TEA.
WHY DOES HE GET
TEA? WE DON'T GET TEA.
MR. METCALF, I DON'T
MEAN TO BE DISRESPECTFUL,
BUT IT SEEMS THE TWO OF YOU
ARE HAVING A LITTLE PROBLEM.
MAYBE THIS ISN'T THE
BEST TIME TO WORK IT OUT.
THAT'S FINE WITH ME.
OH, SURE, IT WOULD BE.
OR MAYBE IT IS.
I'M SORRY ABOUT BEING
LATE. I KNOW HOW IT BUGS YOU.
COME ON, HE'S SORRY.
OH, I MUST BE A LITTLE
EDGY OR SOMETHING.
I'M SORRY. I SHOULDN'T
BE TAKING IT OUT ON YOU.
TERRIFIC, HE'S
SORRY, YOU'RE SORRY.
PRETTY WELL WRAPS IT UP.
YOU JUST TAKE THESE
THINGS SO CASUALLY.
I TOLD YOU, I HAD
SOMETHING TO DO.
WELL, THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE
PLANNED FOR IT OR POSTPONED IT.
I MEAN, WHAT WAS SO IMPORTANT
TO KEEP US ALL WAITING?
WHAT'S THIS?
I REGISTERED AT LANGLEY.
JUST A COUPLE OF COURSES,
BUT I KNOW HOW YOU
FEEL ABOUT SETTING GOALS.
OH, KEVIN, YOU COULDN'T
GIVE ME A BETTER PRESENT.
THANKS, PAL. THANKS.
JUST TWO COURSES, HUH?
TRUTH IS, I WAS
READY AN HOUR AGO.
I JUST HAD TO GO FOR A WALK.
THIS WHOLE THING'S
SORT OF THROWN ME.
I'M ALWAYS THE ONE WHO
DOES THINGS ON IMPULSE.
AND YOU'RE ALWAYS THE ONE
WHO THINKS THINGS THROUGH.
I GUESS I'M JUST NOT USED
TO YOU ACTING LIKE ME.
HEY, I GUESS I'M NOT
USED TO IT EITHER.
OH, AND THIS IS FOR EDNA.
IT WAS LAST MINUTE.
OH, THANK YOU, KEVIN.
OKAY, TWO MINUTES
TO SPARE, UNLESS...
NO. GREAT.
I THINK WE'RE READY.
EVERYBODY'S SEATED.
I'LL GO TELL MRS. G.
MRS. "M," START BREAKING IT IN.
NO, NO, LET ME GO TELL HER.
I WANT TO GIVE HER HER PRESENT.
I DON'T KNOW. IT'S BAD LUCK TO
SEE THE BRIDE BEFORE THE WEDDING.
I'M FEELING RECKLESS.
HI. HI.
JUST ABOUT READY?
YEAH. I WAS SHOWING THE
GIRLS OUR YEARBOOK LAST NIGHT.
BOY, YOU'VE STILL
GOT THAT OLD THING?
MM-HMM.
DO YOU REMEMBER STEVEN EDWARDS?
YEAH, SURE, HE
MARRIED PATTY BORDEAU.
AND THEN TINA MOORE,
AND THEN JANE GOWDY,
AND THEN PENNY SOMEBODY.
WHAT WAS HER NAME?
OH LOOK, MR. PETERBILT.
HE WAS MY FAVORITE TEACHER.
HE WAS THE JANITOR.
HE WAS NOT. YES, HE WAS.
YOUR FAVORITE TEACHER
WAS MR. PETERSON.
ARE YOU SURE?
MM-MMM.
MR. PETERSON TAUGHT ENGLISH LIT.
MR. PETERBILT
TAUGHT ME TAUGHT ME
NOT TO SMOKE IN
THE JANITOR'S CLOSET.
ARE THEY STILL MARRIED?
I DON'T THINK THEY WERE
EVER EVER ENGAGED.
I MEAN STEVEN EDWARDS
AND PENNY SOMEBODY.
THE LAST TIME I CHECKED
ABOUT 20 YEARS AGO, YES.
TED, WHAT KIND OF
TOOTHPASTE DO YOU USE?
I DON'T.
MAYBE I SHOULD
KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU.
BAKING SODA, STRAIGHT
FROM THE BOX. AND YOU?
TOOTH POWDER.
THAT'S IT. IT'S OVER.
WHAT'S THAT?
OH, THAT'S FOR YOU, IT'S
A PRESENT FROM KEVIN.
OH, THANK YOU.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
IT'S A SKIER... YEAH.
GOING OFF A CLIFF.
IT'S A RAMP, BUT I
THINK IT'S THE SAME IDEA.
YOU THINK THAT'S US?
NO.
YOU'RE RIGHT. HE
HAS HIS EYES OPEN.
THIS ISN'T US, IS IT?
I DON'T KNOW, EDNA.
THIS IS THE EIGHTIES.
THINGS ARE GOING SO FAST.
AND WE'RE JUST
GOING ALONG WITH IT.
IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY,
IT TOOK YOU A YEAR AND A HALF
JUST TO WORK UP
THE NERVE TO KISS ME.
TED... TED... DO YOU THINK MAYBE
WE COULD TAKE THIS
ONE STEP AT A TIME?
THAT DEPENDS. WHAT
WOULD THE FIRST STEP BE?
WANT TO GO STEADY?
THEY'RE EXPECTING A
WEDDING DOWNSTAIRS.
WE COULD MAKE IT A
GOING STEADY PARTY?
I LIKE IT.
OH, GOOD.
EDNA, THERE'S SOMETHING
I WANT YOU TO HAVE.
YOUR HIGH SCHOOL PIN.
OH, TED.
I DON'T THINK I'M
GONNA SLEEP ALL NIGHT.