The Facts of Life (1979–1988): Season 4, Episode 5 - Different Drummer - full transcript

Blair befriends a mentally handicapped artist.

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♪ YOU TAKE THE GOOD,
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪

♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪

♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪

♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪

♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪

♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪

♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪

♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪

♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪

♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪

♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪



♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪

♪ YOU ♪

♪ YOU ♪

♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪

♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪

♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪

♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪

WHERE IS ROY?

HE MISSED BREAKFAST AND LUNCH.

WHAT'S HE WANT...
THE TRIPLE CROWN?

GIRLS, CALM DOWN.

HE'LL GET HERE.

WHEN HE DOES, I'M
GOING TO TAKE HIS BREAD

AND STUFF HIM WITH
IT... MRS. GARRETT!



I NEVER KNEW YOU
HAD A VIOLENT STREAK.

I DIDN'T UNTIL ROY.

LAST STOP, LEO!

THESE ARE MY SWEETEST,
FRIENDLIEST CUSTOMERS.

YOU'LL LOVE THEM!

GOOD MORNING, LADIES.

TRY "AFTERNOON," ROY.

OK. GOOD AFTERNOON, LADIES.

LEO, SHAKE A LEG!

LET'S NOT KEEP THEM WAITING.

THEY GET UGLY WHEN
THEIR TARTS ARE TARDY.

I'M LATER THAN USUAL, MY PET.

THINK NOTHING OF IT, MY NERD.

WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY BREAD

FOR THE SANDWICHES AT LUNCH.

WE USED LETTUCE LEAVES.

WHICH WE'D NEVER TRIED BEFORE

WITH PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY.

I HAVE A PERFECTLY GOOD EXCUSE.

THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR YOU.

I'M TRAINING A
PART-TIME ASSISTANT.

LADIES... MEET LEO!

HI.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

THAT IS A GOOD EXCUSE.

YEAH.

PERFECTLY GOOD.

BUT HE'S KIND OF SLOW.

WHO CARES WHEN HE GETS HERE?

JUST SO HE GETS HERE.

WHY DON'T WE PUT
EVERYTHING INTO THE KITCHEN

AND START FIXING SUPPER?

I... JO?

STOP DROOLING. I JUST
MOPPED THE FLOOR.

SORRY I CAN'T HELP.

THESE BOOKS ARE OVERDUE.

WHAT A HEAVY LOAD.

LET A MAN HELP.

CUT THE CHAUVINISTIC
BALONEY, ROY.

I'M PERFECTLY CAPABLE...

GOODNESS, THESE BOOKS
HAVE JUST EXHAUSTED ME!

I'LL TAKE SOME.

THEY'RE TOO HEAVY FOR YOU.

THEY ARE!

LET ME HELP.

OH!

I'M AFRAID WE HAVEN'T MET.

INTRODUCE US.

BLAIR, LEO.

LEO, BLAIR.

LEO. WHAT A POWERFUL NAME.

I'M HAPPY TO MEET YOU.

HOW DO YOU DO?

HI.

I LOVE THE STRONG, SILENT TYPE.

LEO, I HATE TO SOUND

LIKE THE SILLY LITTLE FEMALE,

BUT I REALLY COULD
USE SOME HELP.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO?

YOU CAN START WITH THESE.

YOU ARE A TALL ONE.

I PREFER TALL MEN.

THEY'RE HEAD AND SHOULDERS
ABOVE EVERYONE ELSE.

DON'T STAND CLOSE
WHEN I'M DELIVERING BREAD.

YOU'LL TURN IT TO TOAST!

WHERE'S LEO?

DID HE WANDER OFF AGAIN?

HE WAS LED OFF BY BLAIR.

SHE HAD HIM ROPED
AND TIED IN SIX SECONDS...

A NEW RODEO RECORD!

WHY WOULD BLAIR
BE INTERESTED IN LEO?

HE'S EVERYTHING YOU'RE NOT.

HE'S HUMAN.

WITH LEO'S LOOKS,

IT DOESN'T MATTER
THAT HE'S RETARDED.

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

WHEN YOU'RE GORGEOUS,
YOU'RE GORGEOUS.

I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM.

ROY!

DID YOU SAY LEO IS RETARDED?

LIKE IN "MENTALLY RETARDED"?

I SAID HE'S SLOW.

I THOUGHT YOU ALL UNDERSTOOD.

NO, ROY, WE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND.

NEITHER DID BLAIR.

YOU DON'T MIND HELPING
ME CHOOSE A BOOK?

I'M NOT KEEPING YOU FROM
SOME SOCIAL OBLIGATION?

YOU HAVE PRETTY HAIR.

HOW ABOUT AN
OLD-FASHIONED ROMANCE?

WHOM DO YOU RECOMMEND?

EMILY BRONTE?

ERICH SEGAL?

MASTERS AND JOHNSON?

ARE THERE PICTURES?

OH, HERE'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES.

FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS.

I ALWAYS THINK OF
BERGMAN AND COOPER.

SUCH A SAD STORY.

WOULD IT MAKE ME CRY?

IT'S A BREATH OF FRESH AIR

MEETING A MAN WHO
ADMITS TO DEEP EMOTIONS.

I GET THE FEELING

YOU AND I ARE SO SIMPATICO.

DEEP SENSITIVITY,

A THIRST FOR LITERATURE...

APPRECIATION OF BEAUTY.

WHY HAVEN'T WE MET BEFORE?

WE'RE NOT IN THE SAME CLASS.

DON'T BE SILLY.

JUST BECAUSE YOU
WORK IN A BAKERY

DOESN'T MEAN WE'RE NOT EQUALS.

YOU'RE NOT THE SAME AS ROY.

ROY'S NOT IN MY CLASS EITHER.

AND HE NEVER WILL BE.

YOU'RE GOING TO GO FAR.

BUT IT'S JUST A FEW
MILES FROM HERE.

WHAT IS?

MY SCHOOL.

PEEKSKILL HIGH?

NO.

OH, THEN YOU MUST GO TO BATES.

I GO TO A SPECIAL SCHOOL.

I WAS GOING TO ATTEND

A PLACE FOR GIFTED
STUDENTS, TOO.

BUT I LIKE EASTLAND.

THEY APPRECIATE MY INTELLIGENCE.

THEY VOTED ME HARVEST QUEEN.

WHAT ARE YOU STUDYING?

I LIKE TO DRAW.

SO DO I!

WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON.

I'M HANDY WITH A PALETTE
AND CANVAS MYSELF.

DO YOU PREFER OILS OR ACRYLICS?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WHAT DO YOU PAINT WITH?

SOME GUYS USE THEIR FINGERS.

MY TEACHER SAYS I'M
GOOD, SO I USE A BRUSH.

OH, LEO!

A SPECIAL SCHOOL?

WHEN WILL BLAIR FIND OUT?

SHE WAS DOING HER
"I LOVE TALL" ROUTINE

WHEN THEY LEFT.

SHE MAY NOT TAKE A
BREATH TILL WEDNESDAY.

I HOPE SHE DOESN'T
SAY ANYTHING DUMB.

WE'RE TALKING BLAIR HERE.

SOMEONE SHOULD TELL HER

BEFORE SHE SAYS SOMETHING
DUMBER THAN USUAL.

I'M AHEAD OF YOU.

SOMEONE MUST TELL BLAIR.

THIS IS THE FAIR WAY TO DECIDE.

I HAVE THREE STRAWS
OF VARIOUS LENGTHS.

TOOTIE MUST TAKE
ONE, JO MUST TAKE ONE,

AND NATALIE MUST TAKE ONE.

THE PERSON WITH THE
SHORTEST STRAW TELLS BLAIR.

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

WE ARE GOING TO DRAW STRAWS.

RIGHT.

I CUT THEM, SO YOU GO FIRST.

SO YOU KNOW WHICH
STRAW IS SHORTEST.

YOU CALLING ME A CHEAT?

THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!

DON'T WORRY. WE'LL
STAND BEHIND YOU.

YEAH... ABOUT 50 FEET.

WHAT WILL I DO?

ABOUT WHAT?

ABOUT BLAIR.

HOW DO YOU TELL
SOMEONE LIKE BLAIR

ABOUT SOMEONE LIKE LEO?

YOU COULD TRY AN
HONEST APPROACH.

IT WORKS... SOMETIMES.

SURE. HONESTY'S GOOD.

I'LL SEND HER AN
HONEST TELEGRAM...

FROM AUSTRALIA.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO

IS LOOK BLAIR IN
THE EYE AND SAY,

"I MUST TELL YOU ABOUT LEO.

HE'S... RETARDED."

YOU CAN ALL RELAX.

I KNOW ABOUT LEO.

THAT PUTS YOU IN A TOUGH SPOT.

JUST HOW WILL YOU
SHAKE THIS GUY?

I'M NOT GOING TO.

BUT YOU CAN'T JUST
AVOID HIM, BLAIR.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I'M NOT GOING TO AVOID LEO.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,

WE'RE GOING OUT SATURDAY NIGHT.

WHERE IS BLAIR?

BLAIR'S AT THE MOVIES.

THE MOVIE LETS OUT AT 9:32.

THAT MEANS THEY
TOOK THE 9:40 BUS

AND SHOULD'VE
BEEN HERE AT 10:00!

RELAX. MAYBE THEY
STOPPED FOR A SODA.

OK. 10:12.

IT IS NOW 10:35!

WHAT COULD'VE HAPPENED TO THEM?

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
SOMETHING'S HAPPENED?

LEO SEEMS LIKE A SWEET GUY.

REMEMBER THAT BOOK I
WAS READING BY STEINBECK?

OF MICE AND MEN.

REMEMBER THE CHARACTER LENNIE?

HE WAS SWEET AND KIND.

HE WAS RETARDED, TOO.

AND HE DIDN'T KNOW
HIS OWN STRENGTH.

HE KEPT HURTING THINGS HE LOVED,

FIRST THE MICE, THEN A
PUPPY, THEN A WOMAN.

LEO COULDN'T HURT A
FLY, AND YOU KNOW IT.

JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE
IS MENTALLY RETARDED,

WELL, THAT DOESN'T
NECESSARILY MEAN

HE'S DANGEROUS OR VIOLENT.

WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE,

THIS WASN'T EVEN DISCUSSED.

NO.

THE WHOLE SUBJECT OF RETARDATION

WAS STRICTLY OFF LIMITS.

SO WAS SEX,
RELIGION, AND POLITICS.

WHAT WAS LEFT?

WE GOT A LOT OF MILEAGE

OUT OF FRANK SINATRA
AND AVA GARDNER.

PEOPLE MAY TALK ABOUT IT,

BUT THAT DOESN'T
MEAN THEY UNDERSTAND.

I REMEMBER THIS GUY NAMED RICKY.

THEY SAID HE WAS, UH...

WELL, THEY CALLED
HIM RICKY RETARDO.

WHEN HE CAME TO THE PLAYGROUND,

KIDS THREW ROCKS AT HIM.

HE'D COME AFTER
EVERYONE HAD LEFT.

I WOULD TOSS THE
BALL AROUND WITH HIM.

NOBODY KNEW HE HAD
A HECK OF A SINKER.

HI, ALL!

DON'T "HI, ALL" ME!

IT'S 10:45! YOU'RE
33 MINUTES LATE!

SORRY, MOM.

WE DECIDED TO WALK HOME.

HOW WAS THE MOVIE?

IT WASN'T A CLASSIC,
BUT WE ENJOYED IT.

HE IS REALLY PERCEPTIVE.

HE LAUGHED IN THE RIGHT PLACES.

WE CAN'T SAY THAT
FOR YOUR OTHER DATES.

HE NOTICES THINGS THAT
WE TAKE FOR GRANTED...

THE MOON, THE STARS, MY SMILE.

WE PASSED THE OLD WALLACE HOUSE,

AND HE SAID,

"IT LOOKS LIKE A
GINGERBREAD HOUSE

WITH FROSTING ON IT."

AND YOU KNOW, HE'S RIGHT.

MAYBE WE'LL TOUR VICTORIAN
MANSIONS TOMORROW.

WHERE'S THE PAPER'S
"THINGS TO DO" SECTION?

ON THE COUNTER.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

THINGS TO DO.

KNOWING LEO'S POTENTIAL,

I CAN OPEN UP NEW HORIZONS.

BEFORE YOU PLUNGE INTO ANYTHING,

GIVE THIS SOME CAREFUL THOUGHT.

DEALING WITH SOMEONE LIKE LEO

ISN'T AS SIMPLE AS YOU THINK.

AND YOU'RE NOT A PROFESSIONAL.

I KNOW THAT.

HE'S PROBABLY
NEVER SEEN A MUSEUM.

I HOPE YOU REALIZE

THAT THERE ARE RESPONSIBILITIES

IN THIS SORT OF RELATIONSHIP.

LEO IS... SPECIAL.

YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

AND THAT'S WHY HE NEEDS
MY SPECIAL ATTENTION.

DON'T WORRY, MRS. GARRETT.

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M DOING.

THERE USED TO BE FOUR OF US.

BEFORE LEO?

NO. BEFORE BLAIR BECAME
THE MIRACLE WORKER.

YOU'VE GOT TO GIVE HER CREDIT.

BLAIR'S TAKEN LEO
TO ART GALLERIES.

DON'T FORGET THAT
CONCERT LAST NIGHT.

SHE HAS A CALLING.

GIVING ANOTHER PAINTING LESSON?

YEAH. LEO SHOULD
BE HERE ANY MINUTE.

HE HAS REAL ARTISTIC TALENT.

AND SUCH A
DETERMINED INSTRUCTOR.

GOOD AFTERNOON, MRS. GARRETT.

HELLO, LEO.

I'M HAVING MY LESSON.

BLAIR THINKS YOU'RE
QUITE A GOOD PAINTER.

SHE DOES? UH-HUH.

HI, BLAIR.

WOULD YOU SEE THAT
WE'RE NOT DISTURBED

WHILE WE CREATE?

YOU DON'T WANT THE FRESH COOKIES

BAKING IN THE OVEN?

AW... NO NEED FOR EXTREMES.

EVEN STARVING ARTISTS

MUST KEEP UP THEIR STRENGTH.

RIGHT.

THIS BOOK HAS PRETTY PICTURES.

WHOEVER PAINTED
THEM WASN'T SMART.

THOSE PAINTINGS WERE
DONE BY PABLO PICASSO.

HE WAS A GENIUS.

THEN WHY DO ALL THESE
WOMEN HAVE ONE EYE?

THAT'S THE WAY HE SAW THEM.

THAT'S NOT THE WAY I SEE YOU.

IF I PAINTED YOU,
I'D SHOW ALL THREE.

LEO, I DON'T HAVE THREE EYES.

YOU HAVE TWO LIKE
EVERYBODY ELSE,

BUT THERE'S THREE
COLORS IN THEM.

THERE'S BROWN WITH
LITTLE BITS OF GREEN

AND TINY SPOTS OF GOLD.

WHY, LEO... HOW
OBSERVANT OF YOU.

SOMETIMES, THERE'S
RED AROUND THE EDGES

AND SOME BLACK
GUNK IN THE CORNERS.

WE SHOULD GET STARTED.

WHAT ARE WE PAINTING?

I THOUGHT, TODAY,

WE WOULD TRY WORKING
ON PERSPECTIVE.

WHAT'S... PERSPECTIVE?

AS THINGS GET FURTHER AWAY,

THEY APPEAR SMALLER...
LIKE THIS ROAD.

SEE THE WAY IT LOOKS
SMALLER IN A DISTANCE?

YOU TRY IT.

HOW'S THAT?

THAT'S FINE IF WE WANTED
THE ABSTRACT LOOK.

BUT FOR NOW, LET'S
GO FOR REALISM.

SURE, BLAIR.

UH... LEO, I LIKE
WHAT YOU'RE DOING,

BUT DON'T FORGET ABOUT SCALE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M PAINTING, BLAIR.
DON'T YOU LIKE IT?

UH, YEAH. IT'S JUST THAT...

WELL, YOU CAN DO
BETTER, SO DON'T STOP.

IS THAT OK?

THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

MAKE THAT ONE LINE A BIT LONGER.

LONGER?

NOW, JUST A LITTLE WIDER.

YOU SAID LONGER.

I KNOW.

BOLDER, LEO, BOLDER!

BOLDER?

YES, LIKE THIS!

WHAT DO YOU DO?

THIS!

LEO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M... I'M... LEO, WHERE
ARE YOU GOING?

I'M GOING HOME.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

LEO'S NEVER ACTED
LIKE THAT BEFORE.

MAYBE YOU'VE NEVER
PUSHED HIM THAT HARD BEFORE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOU'RE EXPECTING
TOO MUCH FROM HIM.

HE'S TRYING TO BE WHAT YOU WANT,

BUT HE CAN'T.

EACH TIME WE WORKED,

HE WAS GETTING MORE AND MORE...

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM HIM?

I DON'T WANT ANYTHING FROM HIM.

I'M TRYING TO HELP HIM.

IS THERE ANYTHING
WRONG WITH THAT?

NO.

BUT YOU'RE TRYING TO CHANGE HIM.

I AM NOT!

HE IS CHANGING.

HE'S GETTING AN APPRECIATION

FOR MONET AND VAN GOGH.

HE LIKES LOOKING AT
BEAUTIFUL PICTURES.

EVERYBODY DOES.

WHY ARE YOU TRYING
TO MAKE ME FEEL

LIKE THIS IS HOPELESS?

BECAUSE WHAT YOU'RE
DOING IS HOPELESS...

IF YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE HIM

INTO ANOTHER PERSON.

HE SHOULD BE THE BEST HE CAN BE.

OF COURSE HE SHOULD
BE THE BEST HE CAN BE.

BUT, ALSO,

ACCEPT HIM FOR
WHAT HE ALREADY IS.

WARM... SENSITIVE... CREATIVE...

AND RETARDED.

SALUTATIONS, JOSIE, MY POSY.

NO "GOOD MORNING"
FOR A NICE GUY?

SURE.

HOW YOU DOING, LEO?

AND DON'T CALL ME JOSIE.

OK.

HELLO, ROY.

HI... LEO!

COME ON IN.

I WANT TO DISCUSS
MY ORDER NEXT WEEK.

WHY NOT THE USUAL?

I'LL ORDER SOMETHING
LOW IN SUGAR, HEALTHY.

LIKE BIRTHDAY CAKE
WITH BEAN SPROUTS?

LET'S TALK ABOUT
IT IN THE KITCHEN.

OH, UH...

JO, WILL YOU GET THOSE
PASTRY BOXES, PLEASE?

DON'T TAILGATE, ROY.

I'M REALLY GLAD TO
SEE YOU AGAIN, LEO.

YOU ARE?

YOU'RE NOT MAD AT ME

BECAUSE I RUINED THE PAINTING?

I COULD NEVER BE ANGRY WITH YOU.

TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,

I'M NOT THAT CRAZY
ABOUT PICTURES OF ROADS.

I COULD PAINT YOU
SOMETHING ELSE, BLAIR.

I'D LIKE THAT.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?

YOU DECIDE THIS TIME.

I'LL DRAW YOU THE
VIEW FROM MY WINDOW.

IT'S GOT TREES...
AND PRETTY FLOWERS.

THAT WOULD BE WONDERFUL.

HOW DO YOU WANT IT TO LOOK?

THE WAY YOU SEE IT.

JUST EXACTLY THE WAY YOU SEE IT.