The Facts of Life (1979–1988): Season 4, Episode 3 - The Sound of Silence - full transcript
Tootie refuses to believe she is suffering from hearing loss until she is in an accident.
♪ YOU TAKE THE GOOD,
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪
OH, NOT AGAIN.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
I'VE WAXED THIS THREE TIMES.
HOW CAN YOU TELL?
THE FLOOR IS GETTING HIGHER.
GOOD MORNING!
NO, ROY. WAIT.
I'LL PUT THESE DOWN FIRST.
I'M WAXING HERE. IT'S STILL WET.
NOT THERE.
IT'S TORTURE BEING
SEPARATED FROM YOU LIKE THIS.
DOES THIS MAKE US BICOASTAL?
YOUR BIKE'S CALLING YOU.
MY BIKE GOES WHEN I SAY GO.
SAY GO, ROY.
I LIKE MY WOMEN MEAN.
GRRROWWR.
GRRROWWR.
IS GERI HERE YET?
UH-UH.
WE'RE HAVING LUNCH.
DON'T WALK THERE, YOU MORON.
HOW STUPID OF ME
TO WALK ON THE FLOOR.
I'M GOING UPSTAIRS TO CHANGE.
OK, BLAIRE.
TOOTIE, YOU SABOTAGED MY PLAY!
THAT WASN'T SABOTAGE.
IT WAS A MERCY KILLING.
GIRLS, WHAT'S GOING ON?
I WROTE A SCENE
FOR DRAMA CLASS...
YOUR BASIC SOPHISTICATED COMEDY.
TOOTIE'S LOUSY ACTING RUINED IT.
EVERYONE LAUGHED.
SHOULDN'T THEY LAUGH AT COMEDY?
YEAH. IN THE RIGHT PLACES.
IN YOUR PLAY, THERE
ARE NO RIGHT PLACES.
WATCH IT. I'M WAXING.
WHAT'S THIS?
DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? I'M WAXING.
SORRY. JUST LEAVING MY
FOOTPRINTS FOR POSTERITY.
HI, PEOPLE.
BLAIRE WILL BE DOWN IN A SECOND.
I'M PLAYING THE LOUNGE
AT HOWARD JOHNSON'S.
THAT'S WONDERFUL, GERI.
IF THE AUDIENCE LAUGHS,
THEY'LL CONNECT MY TV.
THIS IS PERFECT.
WE HAVE A REAL AUDIENCE,
EVEN A PROFESSIONAL.
TELL US WHO'S CRAZY.
WE'RE DOING THE SCENE.
I DON'T DO GARBAGE.
MRS. GARRETT.
BE A GOOD SPORT. DO THE GARBAGE.
I MEAN THE SCENE.
OK. THIS IS A HUSBAND
AND WIFE AT HOME.
I WAS TALKING TO HARRY TODAY.
HE WANTS TO HAVE
DINNER SOME NIGHT.
TELL HARRY WE HAVE
DINNER EVERY NIGHT.
YOU CALL THIS DINNER?
I CALL IT GAS FOR LESS.
I CALL IT GAS FOR LESS!
SEE? SHE DOESN'T
PICK UP HER CUES!
WE'RE NOT GOING
TO HARRY'S ANYWAY.
TOOTIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
THIS IS MY BEST SIDE. GO ON.
YOU NEVER GO ANYWHERE
WITH ME. IT'S EMBARRASSING.
THAT'S WHY I NEVER GO.
NOTHING HAPPENS AT HOME, EITHER.
IN FIVE YEARS YOU
TOUCHED ME ONCE.
HOW COME?
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
OH, I REMEMBER. THE BICKERSONS.
THE WHO?
THE BICKERSONS. I
LOVED THEM ON THE RADIO.
THEY WERE ALWAYS FIGHTING.
YOU MEAN THIS HAS
BEEN DONE BEFORE?
A LOT!
I MEAN, IT'S A CLASSIC.
I TOLD YOU IT WAS OLD HAT!
NO, IT WAS FUNNY.
LISTEN TO THIS.
YOU'RE SO WORTHLESS,
GOODWILL WON'T TAKE YOU.
LOOK WHO'S TALKING.
YOU CAN'T KEEP HOUSE.
THE DUST'S SO THICK, I
THOUGHT THIS WAS THE BEACH.
SEE HOW FUNNY IT CAN BE?
THE WHOLE THING IS STUPID.
YOU CAN'T EVEN READ THE LINES.
HOW CAN I, WITH YOU OVERACTING?
YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE!
WHY ARE YOU SO UPSET?
IT'S JUST FOR FUN.
I'M NOT WASTING TIME
ON THIS JUNK ANYMORE!
MY FLOOR.
WE'VE GOT TO TALK.
HEY!
HEY, GERI!
DON'T WORRY.
I WON'T STEP ON YOUR FLOOR.
MIGHT AS WELL. IT'S
A MAJOR HIGHWAY.
OK.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
I'VE SEEN YOU OBNOXIOUS,
BUT NEVER THIS BAD.
IT'S NOT ME, IT'S YOUR WRITING.
YOU JUST CAN'T TAKE CRITICISM.
CRITICISM? FROM AN ACTRESS?
YOU THINK YOU'RE GREAT.
YOU THINK THIS PLAY
WILL MAKE BROADWAY.
IT WON'T MAKE THE HALLWAY!
YOU'RE MAD BECAUSE YOU
BOMBED IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY.
[PLAYING LOUD MUSIC]
YOU'RE TRYING TO DROWN ME OUT.
IT DOESN'T GET THAT LOUD.
YOU USED TO THINK
MY WRITING WAS FUNNY.
IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE.
YOU LOST YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR.
I HAVE NOT. TOOTIE.
NATALIE.
YES, YOU HAVE.
YOU'RE CRAZY!
WHO ARE YOU CALLING CRAZY?
YOU GUYS!
IT'S NOT HEALTHY TO
HIDE YOUR FEELINGS.
LISTEN. I THINK I
SHOULD SAY THIS.
I'VE BEEN WATCHING
YOU. YOU'RE ACTING WEIRD.
OK. I COULD NEVER
TAKE CRITICISM.
NATALIE... EVEN AS A BABY,
IF PEOPLE DIDN'T LAUGH
WHEN I ACTED CUTE,
I'D SPIT UP.
NOT YOU. I'M TALKING TO TOOTIE.
OH.
TOOTIE.
WHAT?
ARE YOU HAVING TROUBLE
WITH YOUR HEARING?
OF COURSE NOT!
WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?
I HAVE A HEARING LOSS, TOO.
IT'S A PART OF MY C.P.
I NOTICE WHAT YOU'RE DOING...
MOVING AROUND TO HEAR BETTER,
LEANING IN TO LISTEN,
GETTING MAD AT
PEOPLE YOU CAN'T HEAR.
ALL RIGHT.
I'M HAVING SOME
TROUBLE WITH MY HEARING.
WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY?
I DON'T KNOW.
YOU COULDN'T HEAR HIM?
I HAVEN'T GONE YET.
IT'S ONLY BEEN A FEW DAYS.
DON'T MESS AROUND.
GET THERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
I'M SURE IT'S NOTHING SERIOUS.
WHY DON'T YOU LET THE
DOCTOR TELL YOU THAT?
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, GERI.
I'LL CALL THE DOCTOR
THIS AFTERNOON.
GOOD.
BLAIRE'S WAITING.
TELL ME WHAT HE SAYS.
RIGHT.
NO WONDER YOU'RE
ACTING LIKE A JERK.
YOU CAN'T HELP IT.
TOOTIE, CAN'T YOU HEAR ME?
SURE I CAN.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
WE'RE GOING TO THE INFIRMARY.
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
DON'T GIVE ME THAT. I'M
A DOCTOR'S DAUGHTER.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU
HAD THESE SYMPTOMS?
NOT LONG... A COUPLE DAYS,
A WEEK, MAYBE TWO.
ARE YOU WAITING FOR
YOUR 16th BIRTHDAY
SO YOU CAN DRIVE YOURSELF THERE?
NOT TWO SOLID WEEKS.
MONDAY I WAS FINE.
ONE DAY IN TWO WEEKS ISN'T FINE.
WHAT IS IT?
I KNOW WHAT IT IS.
THERE'S A LOT OF
STUFF IN THE EAR.
THERE'S THE ANVIL
AND THE STIRRUP.
MAYBE SOMETHING'S
CAUGHT IN THE STIRRUP.
TOOTIE... I'M NOT
GOING TO THE DOCTOR!
REMEMBER WHEN I HAD
THAT STYE IN MY EYE?
WELL, THAT WENT AWAY.
IT'S JUST LIKE HAVING A COLD.
LET NATURE TAKE ITS COURSE.
TOOTIE, THIS IS NOT
THE SAME THING.
YOU'RE MY VERY
BEST FRIEND, RIGHT?
EVERY TIME YOU ASK
THAT IT'S TROUBLE.
NATALIE.
ALL RIGHT. YES. I'M
YOUR VERY BEST FRIEND.
THEN I'M COUNTING ON YOU.
DON'T TELL ANYBODY ABOUT THIS.
TOOTIE, YOU CAN'T MESS
AROUND WITH YOUR HEARING.
PROMISE ME.
NATALIE!
OK, I PROMISE.
WOULD YOU DO THE LOUNGE NEXT?
OH, THE RADIO.
TOOTIE.
HOW ABOUT THE LOUNGE!
HOW CAN I GET YOUR ATTENTION?
JUST ASK, MRS. GARRETT.
I CAN'T GET AIR TIME.
MAYBE SOMETHING'S WRONG
WITH YOUR TRANSMITTER.
TOOTIE, WHAT'S WITH YOU?
LATELY YOU'RE LIKE A STRANGER
IN A TOOTIE SUIT.
YOU TAKE EVERYTHING
SO SERIOUSLY.
YOU DON'T TAKE SOME
THINGS SERIOUSLY ENOUGH.
YOUR ENGLISH TEACHER SAID
YOU WERE CLOWNING AROUND.
SHE ASKED WHO WROTE
CATCHER IN THE RYE,
AND YOU SAID, "JOHNNY BENCH."
EVERYBODY IN CLASS CRACKED UP.
YEAH. EVERYBODY
BUT YOUR TEACHER.
I THOUGHT ENGLISH WAS
YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT.
IT'S NO BIG THING.
IT'S A PHASE I'M GOING THROUGH.
YOU KNOW, LIKE WEARING KNICKERS.
WON'T YOUR ENGLISH GRADE DROP?
ENGLISH DOESN'T WORRY ME.
WHY NOT?
I'M HAVING TOO MUCH
TROUBLE IN FRENCH.
FOR DINNER, YOU WANT TO CLEAR?
NO. IT'S RAINING.
WHAT?
YOU HEARD HER. IT'S RAINING.
TOOTIE NEVER CLEARS
WHEN IT RAINS, RIGHT?
EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.
OH, OF COURSE. DOPEY ME.
TOOTIE, MAYBE BLAIRE
COULD HELP YOU WITH FRENCH.
SURE. ARE YOU HAVING TROUBLE?
ARE YOU HAVING TROUBLE?
TOOTIE'S DOING SO
GREAT IN FRENCH
SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND
ENGLISH ANYMORE.
DON'T TELL ME.
I RECOGNIZE THAT
SOUND... LAUGHTER.
IT'S BEEN SO LONG.
YOUR SHOW DIDN'T CUT IT?
IT WAS A TOUR GROUP.
THEY LAUGHED UNTIL
THEY DISCOVERED
I WASN'T PART OF THE PACKAGE.
I JUST REMEMBERED I
HAVE TO GO TO THE...
TO THE LIBRARY.
I HAVE TO BUY A BOOK.
THEY DON'T SELL
BOOKS IN THE LIBRARY.
MAYBE THEY'LL LET ME BORROW IT.
I'M WORRIED ABOUT HER.
SHE'S SO SPACEY.
SHE'S BEEN IMPOSSIBLE.
I'VE NEVER SEEN HER LIKE THIS.
HER GRADES ARE
SLIPPING. SHE'S SO TOUCHY.
MAYBE I SHOULD CALL HER PARENTS.
HASN'T SHE GONE
TO THE DOCTOR YET?
IT'S OK, GERI.
SHE TOLD ME SHE'S
FEELING MUCH BETTER.
OWWW!
ARE YOU OK?
OW! I'M OK.
WHAT HAPPENED?
I DIDN'T MEAN TO HIT HER.
YOU HIT HER WITH YOUR TRUCK?
NO, WITH MY BIKE.
IT WAS AWFUL.
I WAS LOADED WITH DAY-OLD BREAD.
THAT STUFF'S HARD.
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OK?
YEAH, I'M FINE.
AHHH! OH, NO!
I CAN'T LOOK!
EEEUUWW!
THAT'S RASPBERRY.
HOW DID IT HAPPEN?
IT WENT SO FAST.
I WAS RIDING ALONG.
SUDDENLY, TOOTIE WAS IN MY WAY.
I RANG MY LITTLE BELL.
I YELLED, BUT SHE DIDN'T STOP.
IT THREW THE BISCUITS 30 FEET.
TOOTIE! YOU DIDN'T
HEAR HIM COMING?
TOOTIE, I AM SO SORRY.
ROY, REALLY, I'M FINE.
OH, SURE. THEY ALWAYS SAY THAT.
AND THEN THEY SUE.
ROY, CALM DOWN.
I CAN'T. I FEEL SICK.
THE ROOM IS SPINNING.
I'M PASSING OUT.
WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN?
YES.
IN THE KITCHEN.
JO, TAKE ROY INTO THE KITCHEN.
GIVE HIM TEA OR A SODA.
OR COOKING SHERRY.
TEA OR SODA.
REVIVE ME, MY LITTLE
FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE.
DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH.
I'M NOT GOING
ALONE. COME WITH ME.
YOU OWE ME ONE.
THAT KNEE'S PRETTY SCRAPED UP.
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OK?
NO, SHE'S NOT OK.
DON'T MAKE A BIG DEAL.
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
IT COULD HAVE BEEN A CAR!
YOU COULD'VE DIED!
ROY DOESN'T HAVE A CAR, NATALIE.
I UNDERSTAND YOUR CONCERN,
BUT IT'S JUST A SKINNED KNEE.
NO! SHE DIDN'T HEAR HIM COMING!
NATALIE!
SHE HASN'T HEARD
ANYTHING FOR WEEKS!
IS THAT TRUE?
MY EARS CLOG ON AND OFF.
MOSTLY OFF.
SHE MADE ME PROMISE NOT TO TELL.
I KNOW WHAT YOUR
PROMISE IS WORTH.
YOU PROMISED YOU'D SEE A DOCTOR.
WHY KEEP THIS A SECRET?
I DON'T FEEL IT'S A BIG DEAL.
IT PROBABLY ISN'T,
BUT LET A PROFESSIONAL
DECIDE THAT.
BANDAGE YOUR KNEE.
I'M CALLING THE DOCTOR.
THANKS A LOT, TRAITOR!
I THOUGHT YOU
WERE MY BEST FRIEND.
I AM.
NOT ANYMORE.
I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU.
I'LL NEVER TRUST YOU AGAIN.
I'D BETTER CHECK MY DIARY.
DON'T BOTHER. I'M
HAVING IT PUBLISHED.
I'LL HELP YOU UPSTAIRS.
I DON'T NEED HELP!
I'LL HELP YOU ANYWAY.
WHY DIDN'T YOU SEE THE DOCTOR?
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS.
YOU MUST FACE THE MUSIC
WHILE YOU STILL HEAR IT.
NO.
YOU'RE TERRIFIED, AREN'T YOU?
THEN GO. IT'S WORSE NOT KNOWING.
NO, IT'S NOT.
WHAT IF THE DOCTOR
SAYS I'M GOING DEAF?
GOING DEAF? ISN'T
THAT JUMPING THE GUN?
NO. MY GRANDFATHER IS DEAF.
SUPPOSE I INHERIT IT.
WHATEVER IT IS,
YOU'VE GOT TO TAKE CARE OF IT.
I'M NOT GOING DEAF,
AND I'M NOT WEARING
A HEARING AID!
IT'S NOT SUPPOSED
TO BE LIKE THIS.
EVERYTHING IS
SUPPOSED TO BE PERFECT.
I DON'T WANT TO BE HANDICAPPED.
OH, GERI. I'M SORRY.
PLEASE, DON'T HATE ME.
BUT I DON'T.
IT'S OK.
WHO DOES?
YOU THINK THEY SHOWED
ME WHAT THEY HAD,
AND I TOOK CEREBRAL PALSY?
IT'S NOT FAIR.
LIFE MAY NOT BE PERFECT,
BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT MATTERS.
WHEN THOSE BAD THINGS
HAPPEN, AND SOMETIMES THEY DO,
IT'S WHAT YOU DO
ABOUT IT THAT COUNTS.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
TOOTIE.
TOOTIE, GET YOUR SWEATER.
THE DOCTOR CAN
SEE YOU RIGHT AWAY.
OK.
WILL YOU COME WITH ME?
SURE.
THERE'S NOTHING
LIKE POLISHED SILVER.
I JUST LOVE IT.
IT'S DUMB TO POLISH SILVER.
IT JUST TARNISHES.
THE SAME WITH FRIENDS.
THEY JUST TURN AGAINST YOU.
QUIT FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF.
TOOTIE'S GOT THE PROBLEM.
I SENT HER TO THE DOCTOR.
YOU DID THE RIGHT THING.
IT COST ME A FRIEND.
SHE'LL COME AROUND.
THAT GIRL CARRIES GRUDGES.
I BORROWED A HANGER ONCE.
SHE KEPT HER CLOSET
LOCKED FOR TWO YEARS.
OH, TOOTIE! I'M SO SORRY!
I DID IT FOR YOU!
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!
NATALIE! YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL.
I KNOW YOU DID IT FOR ME.
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT?
I'M GOING TO BE OK.
WONDERFUL. I'M SO GLAD.
WHAT WAS WRONG?
IT'S SEROUS OTITIS.
I TOLD YOU IT WAS SERIOUS.
NO, SEROUS. SOME FLUID
GOT TRAPPED IN HER EAR
AND IT BECAME INFECTED.
LIKE STAGNANT WATER.
SO HE DRAINED IT.
HOW WAS THAT DONE?
HE MAKES THIS LITTLE CUT
AND PUTS IN A TUBE.
THEN ALL THE FLUID OOZES OUT.
PLEASE.
IS THAT ALL THERE IS TO IT?
SHE'LL GO BACK SO HE
CAN CHECK THE DRAIN.
CAN I COME AND WATCH?
THAT'S DISGUSTING.
I GOT TO LEAVE THE
TUBE IN A FEW MONTHS.
REALLY? CAN PEOPLE SEE IT?
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?
WELL...
YOU DON'T WANT
PEOPLE TO STARE AT YOU.
BLAIRE, THAT IS SO DUMB.
BUT I'M GLAD I CAN HEAR IT.
PRETTY SOON YOU'LL
HEAR PINS DROP.
YEAH.
NATALIE.
THE DOCTOR SAID IF I'D
WAITED MUCH LONGER,
I COULD HAVE DAMAGED
MY MIDDLE EAR... PERMANENTLY.
THANKS FOR BEING SUCH A FINK.
HEY, DON'T MENTION IT.
WHERE DID THIS STAGNANT
STUFF COME FROM?
HE THINKS IT STARTED
WITH THAT COLD I HAD.
THE ONE YOU GOT FROM A WET HEAD?
YEAH.
EVEN THOUGH I WARNED YOU,
YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN.
YES, NATALIE, I... WHO
ALWAYS TELLS YOU
NOT TO GO OUTSIDE
WITH WET HEADS?
YOU DO. YOU'RE THE ONE.
NEXT TIME, WHO'LL MAKE FUN THEN?
NOBODY, NATALIE.
SURE. YOU SAY THAT NOW.
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪
OH, NOT AGAIN.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
I'VE WAXED THIS THREE TIMES.
HOW CAN YOU TELL?
THE FLOOR IS GETTING HIGHER.
GOOD MORNING!
NO, ROY. WAIT.
I'LL PUT THESE DOWN FIRST.
I'M WAXING HERE. IT'S STILL WET.
NOT THERE.
IT'S TORTURE BEING
SEPARATED FROM YOU LIKE THIS.
DOES THIS MAKE US BICOASTAL?
YOUR BIKE'S CALLING YOU.
MY BIKE GOES WHEN I SAY GO.
SAY GO, ROY.
I LIKE MY WOMEN MEAN.
GRRROWWR.
GRRROWWR.
IS GERI HERE YET?
UH-UH.
WE'RE HAVING LUNCH.
DON'T WALK THERE, YOU MORON.
HOW STUPID OF ME
TO WALK ON THE FLOOR.
I'M GOING UPSTAIRS TO CHANGE.
OK, BLAIRE.
TOOTIE, YOU SABOTAGED MY PLAY!
THAT WASN'T SABOTAGE.
IT WAS A MERCY KILLING.
GIRLS, WHAT'S GOING ON?
I WROTE A SCENE
FOR DRAMA CLASS...
YOUR BASIC SOPHISTICATED COMEDY.
TOOTIE'S LOUSY ACTING RUINED IT.
EVERYONE LAUGHED.
SHOULDN'T THEY LAUGH AT COMEDY?
YEAH. IN THE RIGHT PLACES.
IN YOUR PLAY, THERE
ARE NO RIGHT PLACES.
WATCH IT. I'M WAXING.
WHAT'S THIS?
DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? I'M WAXING.
SORRY. JUST LEAVING MY
FOOTPRINTS FOR POSTERITY.
HI, PEOPLE.
BLAIRE WILL BE DOWN IN A SECOND.
I'M PLAYING THE LOUNGE
AT HOWARD JOHNSON'S.
THAT'S WONDERFUL, GERI.
IF THE AUDIENCE LAUGHS,
THEY'LL CONNECT MY TV.
THIS IS PERFECT.
WE HAVE A REAL AUDIENCE,
EVEN A PROFESSIONAL.
TELL US WHO'S CRAZY.
WE'RE DOING THE SCENE.
I DON'T DO GARBAGE.
MRS. GARRETT.
BE A GOOD SPORT. DO THE GARBAGE.
I MEAN THE SCENE.
OK. THIS IS A HUSBAND
AND WIFE AT HOME.
I WAS TALKING TO HARRY TODAY.
HE WANTS TO HAVE
DINNER SOME NIGHT.
TELL HARRY WE HAVE
DINNER EVERY NIGHT.
YOU CALL THIS DINNER?
I CALL IT GAS FOR LESS.
I CALL IT GAS FOR LESS!
SEE? SHE DOESN'T
PICK UP HER CUES!
WE'RE NOT GOING
TO HARRY'S ANYWAY.
TOOTIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
THIS IS MY BEST SIDE. GO ON.
YOU NEVER GO ANYWHERE
WITH ME. IT'S EMBARRASSING.
THAT'S WHY I NEVER GO.
NOTHING HAPPENS AT HOME, EITHER.
IN FIVE YEARS YOU
TOUCHED ME ONCE.
HOW COME?
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
OH, I REMEMBER. THE BICKERSONS.
THE WHO?
THE BICKERSONS. I
LOVED THEM ON THE RADIO.
THEY WERE ALWAYS FIGHTING.
YOU MEAN THIS HAS
BEEN DONE BEFORE?
A LOT!
I MEAN, IT'S A CLASSIC.
I TOLD YOU IT WAS OLD HAT!
NO, IT WAS FUNNY.
LISTEN TO THIS.
YOU'RE SO WORTHLESS,
GOODWILL WON'T TAKE YOU.
LOOK WHO'S TALKING.
YOU CAN'T KEEP HOUSE.
THE DUST'S SO THICK, I
THOUGHT THIS WAS THE BEACH.
SEE HOW FUNNY IT CAN BE?
THE WHOLE THING IS STUPID.
YOU CAN'T EVEN READ THE LINES.
HOW CAN I, WITH YOU OVERACTING?
YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE!
WHY ARE YOU SO UPSET?
IT'S JUST FOR FUN.
I'M NOT WASTING TIME
ON THIS JUNK ANYMORE!
MY FLOOR.
WE'VE GOT TO TALK.
HEY!
HEY, GERI!
DON'T WORRY.
I WON'T STEP ON YOUR FLOOR.
MIGHT AS WELL. IT'S
A MAJOR HIGHWAY.
OK.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
I'VE SEEN YOU OBNOXIOUS,
BUT NEVER THIS BAD.
IT'S NOT ME, IT'S YOUR WRITING.
YOU JUST CAN'T TAKE CRITICISM.
CRITICISM? FROM AN ACTRESS?
YOU THINK YOU'RE GREAT.
YOU THINK THIS PLAY
WILL MAKE BROADWAY.
IT WON'T MAKE THE HALLWAY!
YOU'RE MAD BECAUSE YOU
BOMBED IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY.
[PLAYING LOUD MUSIC]
YOU'RE TRYING TO DROWN ME OUT.
IT DOESN'T GET THAT LOUD.
YOU USED TO THINK
MY WRITING WAS FUNNY.
IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE.
YOU LOST YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR.
I HAVE NOT. TOOTIE.
NATALIE.
YES, YOU HAVE.
YOU'RE CRAZY!
WHO ARE YOU CALLING CRAZY?
YOU GUYS!
IT'S NOT HEALTHY TO
HIDE YOUR FEELINGS.
LISTEN. I THINK I
SHOULD SAY THIS.
I'VE BEEN WATCHING
YOU. YOU'RE ACTING WEIRD.
OK. I COULD NEVER
TAKE CRITICISM.
NATALIE... EVEN AS A BABY,
IF PEOPLE DIDN'T LAUGH
WHEN I ACTED CUTE,
I'D SPIT UP.
NOT YOU. I'M TALKING TO TOOTIE.
OH.
TOOTIE.
WHAT?
ARE YOU HAVING TROUBLE
WITH YOUR HEARING?
OF COURSE NOT!
WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?
I HAVE A HEARING LOSS, TOO.
IT'S A PART OF MY C.P.
I NOTICE WHAT YOU'RE DOING...
MOVING AROUND TO HEAR BETTER,
LEANING IN TO LISTEN,
GETTING MAD AT
PEOPLE YOU CAN'T HEAR.
ALL RIGHT.
I'M HAVING SOME
TROUBLE WITH MY HEARING.
WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY?
I DON'T KNOW.
YOU COULDN'T HEAR HIM?
I HAVEN'T GONE YET.
IT'S ONLY BEEN A FEW DAYS.
DON'T MESS AROUND.
GET THERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
I'M SURE IT'S NOTHING SERIOUS.
WHY DON'T YOU LET THE
DOCTOR TELL YOU THAT?
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, GERI.
I'LL CALL THE DOCTOR
THIS AFTERNOON.
GOOD.
BLAIRE'S WAITING.
TELL ME WHAT HE SAYS.
RIGHT.
NO WONDER YOU'RE
ACTING LIKE A JERK.
YOU CAN'T HELP IT.
TOOTIE, CAN'T YOU HEAR ME?
SURE I CAN.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
WE'RE GOING TO THE INFIRMARY.
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
DON'T GIVE ME THAT. I'M
A DOCTOR'S DAUGHTER.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU
HAD THESE SYMPTOMS?
NOT LONG... A COUPLE DAYS,
A WEEK, MAYBE TWO.
ARE YOU WAITING FOR
YOUR 16th BIRTHDAY
SO YOU CAN DRIVE YOURSELF THERE?
NOT TWO SOLID WEEKS.
MONDAY I WAS FINE.
ONE DAY IN TWO WEEKS ISN'T FINE.
WHAT IS IT?
I KNOW WHAT IT IS.
THERE'S A LOT OF
STUFF IN THE EAR.
THERE'S THE ANVIL
AND THE STIRRUP.
MAYBE SOMETHING'S
CAUGHT IN THE STIRRUP.
TOOTIE... I'M NOT
GOING TO THE DOCTOR!
REMEMBER WHEN I HAD
THAT STYE IN MY EYE?
WELL, THAT WENT AWAY.
IT'S JUST LIKE HAVING A COLD.
LET NATURE TAKE ITS COURSE.
TOOTIE, THIS IS NOT
THE SAME THING.
YOU'RE MY VERY
BEST FRIEND, RIGHT?
EVERY TIME YOU ASK
THAT IT'S TROUBLE.
NATALIE.
ALL RIGHT. YES. I'M
YOUR VERY BEST FRIEND.
THEN I'M COUNTING ON YOU.
DON'T TELL ANYBODY ABOUT THIS.
TOOTIE, YOU CAN'T MESS
AROUND WITH YOUR HEARING.
PROMISE ME.
NATALIE!
OK, I PROMISE.
WOULD YOU DO THE LOUNGE NEXT?
OH, THE RADIO.
TOOTIE.
HOW ABOUT THE LOUNGE!
HOW CAN I GET YOUR ATTENTION?
JUST ASK, MRS. GARRETT.
I CAN'T GET AIR TIME.
MAYBE SOMETHING'S WRONG
WITH YOUR TRANSMITTER.
TOOTIE, WHAT'S WITH YOU?
LATELY YOU'RE LIKE A STRANGER
IN A TOOTIE SUIT.
YOU TAKE EVERYTHING
SO SERIOUSLY.
YOU DON'T TAKE SOME
THINGS SERIOUSLY ENOUGH.
YOUR ENGLISH TEACHER SAID
YOU WERE CLOWNING AROUND.
SHE ASKED WHO WROTE
CATCHER IN THE RYE,
AND YOU SAID, "JOHNNY BENCH."
EVERYBODY IN CLASS CRACKED UP.
YEAH. EVERYBODY
BUT YOUR TEACHER.
I THOUGHT ENGLISH WAS
YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT.
IT'S NO BIG THING.
IT'S A PHASE I'M GOING THROUGH.
YOU KNOW, LIKE WEARING KNICKERS.
WON'T YOUR ENGLISH GRADE DROP?
ENGLISH DOESN'T WORRY ME.
WHY NOT?
I'M HAVING TOO MUCH
TROUBLE IN FRENCH.
FOR DINNER, YOU WANT TO CLEAR?
NO. IT'S RAINING.
WHAT?
YOU HEARD HER. IT'S RAINING.
TOOTIE NEVER CLEARS
WHEN IT RAINS, RIGHT?
EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.
OH, OF COURSE. DOPEY ME.
TOOTIE, MAYBE BLAIRE
COULD HELP YOU WITH FRENCH.
SURE. ARE YOU HAVING TROUBLE?
ARE YOU HAVING TROUBLE?
TOOTIE'S DOING SO
GREAT IN FRENCH
SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND
ENGLISH ANYMORE.
DON'T TELL ME.
I RECOGNIZE THAT
SOUND... LAUGHTER.
IT'S BEEN SO LONG.
YOUR SHOW DIDN'T CUT IT?
IT WAS A TOUR GROUP.
THEY LAUGHED UNTIL
THEY DISCOVERED
I WASN'T PART OF THE PACKAGE.
I JUST REMEMBERED I
HAVE TO GO TO THE...
TO THE LIBRARY.
I HAVE TO BUY A BOOK.
THEY DON'T SELL
BOOKS IN THE LIBRARY.
MAYBE THEY'LL LET ME BORROW IT.
I'M WORRIED ABOUT HER.
SHE'S SO SPACEY.
SHE'S BEEN IMPOSSIBLE.
I'VE NEVER SEEN HER LIKE THIS.
HER GRADES ARE
SLIPPING. SHE'S SO TOUCHY.
MAYBE I SHOULD CALL HER PARENTS.
HASN'T SHE GONE
TO THE DOCTOR YET?
IT'S OK, GERI.
SHE TOLD ME SHE'S
FEELING MUCH BETTER.
OWWW!
ARE YOU OK?
OW! I'M OK.
WHAT HAPPENED?
I DIDN'T MEAN TO HIT HER.
YOU HIT HER WITH YOUR TRUCK?
NO, WITH MY BIKE.
IT WAS AWFUL.
I WAS LOADED WITH DAY-OLD BREAD.
THAT STUFF'S HARD.
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OK?
YEAH, I'M FINE.
AHHH! OH, NO!
I CAN'T LOOK!
EEEUUWW!
THAT'S RASPBERRY.
HOW DID IT HAPPEN?
IT WENT SO FAST.
I WAS RIDING ALONG.
SUDDENLY, TOOTIE WAS IN MY WAY.
I RANG MY LITTLE BELL.
I YELLED, BUT SHE DIDN'T STOP.
IT THREW THE BISCUITS 30 FEET.
TOOTIE! YOU DIDN'T
HEAR HIM COMING?
TOOTIE, I AM SO SORRY.
ROY, REALLY, I'M FINE.
OH, SURE. THEY ALWAYS SAY THAT.
AND THEN THEY SUE.
ROY, CALM DOWN.
I CAN'T. I FEEL SICK.
THE ROOM IS SPINNING.
I'M PASSING OUT.
WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN?
YES.
IN THE KITCHEN.
JO, TAKE ROY INTO THE KITCHEN.
GIVE HIM TEA OR A SODA.
OR COOKING SHERRY.
TEA OR SODA.
REVIVE ME, MY LITTLE
FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE.
DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH.
I'M NOT GOING
ALONE. COME WITH ME.
YOU OWE ME ONE.
THAT KNEE'S PRETTY SCRAPED UP.
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OK?
NO, SHE'S NOT OK.
DON'T MAKE A BIG DEAL.
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
IT COULD HAVE BEEN A CAR!
YOU COULD'VE DIED!
ROY DOESN'T HAVE A CAR, NATALIE.
I UNDERSTAND YOUR CONCERN,
BUT IT'S JUST A SKINNED KNEE.
NO! SHE DIDN'T HEAR HIM COMING!
NATALIE!
SHE HASN'T HEARD
ANYTHING FOR WEEKS!
IS THAT TRUE?
MY EARS CLOG ON AND OFF.
MOSTLY OFF.
SHE MADE ME PROMISE NOT TO TELL.
I KNOW WHAT YOUR
PROMISE IS WORTH.
YOU PROMISED YOU'D SEE A DOCTOR.
WHY KEEP THIS A SECRET?
I DON'T FEEL IT'S A BIG DEAL.
IT PROBABLY ISN'T,
BUT LET A PROFESSIONAL
DECIDE THAT.
BANDAGE YOUR KNEE.
I'M CALLING THE DOCTOR.
THANKS A LOT, TRAITOR!
I THOUGHT YOU
WERE MY BEST FRIEND.
I AM.
NOT ANYMORE.
I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU.
I'LL NEVER TRUST YOU AGAIN.
I'D BETTER CHECK MY DIARY.
DON'T BOTHER. I'M
HAVING IT PUBLISHED.
I'LL HELP YOU UPSTAIRS.
I DON'T NEED HELP!
I'LL HELP YOU ANYWAY.
WHY DIDN'T YOU SEE THE DOCTOR?
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS.
YOU MUST FACE THE MUSIC
WHILE YOU STILL HEAR IT.
NO.
YOU'RE TERRIFIED, AREN'T YOU?
THEN GO. IT'S WORSE NOT KNOWING.
NO, IT'S NOT.
WHAT IF THE DOCTOR
SAYS I'M GOING DEAF?
GOING DEAF? ISN'T
THAT JUMPING THE GUN?
NO. MY GRANDFATHER IS DEAF.
SUPPOSE I INHERIT IT.
WHATEVER IT IS,
YOU'VE GOT TO TAKE CARE OF IT.
I'M NOT GOING DEAF,
AND I'M NOT WEARING
A HEARING AID!
IT'S NOT SUPPOSED
TO BE LIKE THIS.
EVERYTHING IS
SUPPOSED TO BE PERFECT.
I DON'T WANT TO BE HANDICAPPED.
OH, GERI. I'M SORRY.
PLEASE, DON'T HATE ME.
BUT I DON'T.
IT'S OK.
WHO DOES?
YOU THINK THEY SHOWED
ME WHAT THEY HAD,
AND I TOOK CEREBRAL PALSY?
IT'S NOT FAIR.
LIFE MAY NOT BE PERFECT,
BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT MATTERS.
WHEN THOSE BAD THINGS
HAPPEN, AND SOMETIMES THEY DO,
IT'S WHAT YOU DO
ABOUT IT THAT COUNTS.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
TOOTIE.
TOOTIE, GET YOUR SWEATER.
THE DOCTOR CAN
SEE YOU RIGHT AWAY.
OK.
WILL YOU COME WITH ME?
SURE.
THERE'S NOTHING
LIKE POLISHED SILVER.
I JUST LOVE IT.
IT'S DUMB TO POLISH SILVER.
IT JUST TARNISHES.
THE SAME WITH FRIENDS.
THEY JUST TURN AGAINST YOU.
QUIT FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF.
TOOTIE'S GOT THE PROBLEM.
I SENT HER TO THE DOCTOR.
YOU DID THE RIGHT THING.
IT COST ME A FRIEND.
SHE'LL COME AROUND.
THAT GIRL CARRIES GRUDGES.
I BORROWED A HANGER ONCE.
SHE KEPT HER CLOSET
LOCKED FOR TWO YEARS.
OH, TOOTIE! I'M SO SORRY!
I DID IT FOR YOU!
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!
NATALIE! YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL.
I KNOW YOU DID IT FOR ME.
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT?
I'M GOING TO BE OK.
WONDERFUL. I'M SO GLAD.
WHAT WAS WRONG?
IT'S SEROUS OTITIS.
I TOLD YOU IT WAS SERIOUS.
NO, SEROUS. SOME FLUID
GOT TRAPPED IN HER EAR
AND IT BECAME INFECTED.
LIKE STAGNANT WATER.
SO HE DRAINED IT.
HOW WAS THAT DONE?
HE MAKES THIS LITTLE CUT
AND PUTS IN A TUBE.
THEN ALL THE FLUID OOZES OUT.
PLEASE.
IS THAT ALL THERE IS TO IT?
SHE'LL GO BACK SO HE
CAN CHECK THE DRAIN.
CAN I COME AND WATCH?
THAT'S DISGUSTING.
I GOT TO LEAVE THE
TUBE IN A FEW MONTHS.
REALLY? CAN PEOPLE SEE IT?
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?
WELL...
YOU DON'T WANT
PEOPLE TO STARE AT YOU.
BLAIRE, THAT IS SO DUMB.
BUT I'M GLAD I CAN HEAR IT.
PRETTY SOON YOU'LL
HEAR PINS DROP.
YEAH.
NATALIE.
THE DOCTOR SAID IF I'D
WAITED MUCH LONGER,
I COULD HAVE DAMAGED
MY MIDDLE EAR... PERMANENTLY.
THANKS FOR BEING SUCH A FINK.
HEY, DON'T MENTION IT.
WHERE DID THIS STAGNANT
STUFF COME FROM?
HE THINKS IT STARTED
WITH THAT COLD I HAD.
THE ONE YOU GOT FROM A WET HEAD?
YEAH.
EVEN THOUGH I WARNED YOU,
YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN.
YES, NATALIE, I... WHO
ALWAYS TELLS YOU
NOT TO GO OUTSIDE
WITH WET HEADS?
YOU DO. YOU'RE THE ONE.
NEXT TIME, WHO'LL MAKE FUN THEN?
NOBODY, NATALIE.
SURE. YOU SAY THAT NOW.