The Facts of Life (1979–1988): Season 3, Episode 19 - New York, New York - full transcript
Blair and Jo go to visit old friends in New York, where they find that things have changed considerably.
♪
♪ You take the good,
you take the bad ♪
♪ You take them both
and there you have ♪
♪ The facts of life,
the facts of life ♪
♪ There's a time you got to
go and show you're growing ♪
♪ And now you know
about the facts of life ♪
♪ The facts of life ♪
♪ When the world never seems ♪
♪ To be living up
to your dreams ♪
♪ And suddenly
you're finding out ♪
♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪
♪ You ♪
♪ It takes a lot
to get them right ♪
♪ When you're
learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
Bumps to the left of me,
bumps to the right of me,
into the valley of powder we go.
I can't wait to hit those
slopes tomorrow, Mrs. Garrett.
And I know Natalie's
gonna love it.
Except Natalie's not goin'.
What?
Natalie, I thought you were
looking forward to this weekend.
I was.
Then I woke up this morning
and had this very
vivid picture of myself
in a full body cast.
Do you have any idea
how many signatures it takes
to cover something like that?
I don't know that many people.
Now, what brought this on?
I found this in Tootie's pocket.
It's just my old lift ticket.
Read it.
"The purchaser of
this ticket understands
"that skiing is a
dangerous sport.
"Falls and collisions do occur
"and injuries may result."
It's not a sport,
it's a death wish.
I remember the first
time I went skiing.
I hit a tree stump
and turned my ankle.
That reassures me no end.
And had to be carried all
the way down the mountain
by my incredibly
handsome ski instructor.
Oh?
I spent the entire
weekend sipping cocoa
by the fireplace in the lodge,
while he hovered about.
Ah, yes, I remember
last year's ski trip
and my ski instructor, Lars.
Lars?
We're talking hunk on ice.
Yeah.
Okay, Blair, I'm all set.
Jo, we're visiting New
York for the weekend,
not going on maneuvers.
That's right, Blair.
The weekend.
Two days, 48 hours.
Doesn't that tell you anything?
Yes!
I forgot my backup hair
dryer. I'll be right back.
I can't wait to get back
to my old neighborhood.
I miss that New York attitude.
Rude and hostile.
Yeah.
Up here everyone is
so "Have a nice day."
I'm ready for a good
old-fashioned rank-out session.
We "rank-out," don't we, Tootie?
We are so rank.
Oh, yeah? Well, try this.
You're so dumb,
you can't spell IQ.
All set.
And you're so spoiled,
that if you were milk, the date
on the carton would read B.C.
Turn blue.
You see? "Turn blue."
And that was her best shot.
So, you two good buddies gonna see
each other while you're in New York?
Not if I see her first.
Hey, we better hurry if
we're gonna make that train.
Jo, don't just sit
there, we gotta run!
Uh, Jo, would you get
that bag for me, please?
Sure. Sure.
There you go.
Ah!
Isn't that beautiful?
Do you smell that?
What is that?
Grand Central Station, New York.
I feel like I died
and went to heaven.
Well, it smells
like something did.
Why did we ask our
friends to meet us here?
Because it's convenient.
What'll it be, girls?
Give me a cherry cola.
I'll have the same.
Oh, uh, make sure mine's
in a clean glass, please.
Are you planning to do anything
this weekend besides change clothes?
The way you're complaining, you'd
think you were the one lugging this around.
I just don't like things
slowin' me down.
You gotta be fast on
your feet in this town.
Here we go again.
Another lecture on
survival in the urban jungle.
Well, you could use
one, Miss Congeniality.
Are you referring
to my conversation
with that gentleman
on the train?
You don't strike up a
conversation with a total stranger.
In this city, you make eye
contact with the wrong person,
next thing you know
they're dragging the river.
I'll take my chances when
the eyes are that blue.
He was a doll.
Anyway, I wouldn't have
been sitting next to him at all
if you hadn't made me
switch seats with you.
I had to switch with you. I have
to face forward when I travel.
But I hate riding backwards.
I like to see where I'm going.
Well, if I'd been
riding backwards,
you would've also seen
someone throwin' up.
Two cherry colas. Who
gets the clean glass?
Just a little New York humor.
I don't believe my eyes.
What?
A real magazine rack!
You know what that means?
Real magazines.
Oh, to be back in
glorious civilization.
French Vogue, Italian Vogue...
Yeah, they got Dirt Bike
Digest and Chopper News.
Warner!
Becker! Ah!
Oh, Warner, you just
make me wanna toss my C's.
It is nauseating how you get more
gorgeous from one year to the next!
Oh, you look fabulous!
I just love that sweater!
Oh, I would kill, we're
talking murder one,
for that hair.
I think I just stumbled into a
Farrah Fawcett convention.
Oh, uh, Dina, this is Jo.
She's a... a schoolmate of mine.
Is she really?
Dina Becker.
So nice to meet you.
Likewise.
There are certain things you gotta
see with your own eyes to believe.
So you go to the same
school as Warner here.
How wonderful.
I mean, where
else but in America
would someone like you
even know someone like her?
Hey, stranger.
Hey, Jesse! How you doin'?
You look great!
Yeah, long time no see.
Yeah.
Hey, you look a little thin. Don't
they feed you up at that school?
I can't believe it!
Oh, uh, Jesse, this is someone
who goes to my school, Blair Warner.
Hi.
Hello.
So that jacket...
And this is her friend
here, Princess Di.
Dina Becker.
Hi.
So you're Jesse.
Jo's told me so much about you.
Oh, yeah, same here.
You weren't kiddin', were you?
Jesse and Jo. Did you two
ride with the Dalton Gang?
Hey! Watch it!
Boat people.
It's getting so you
can't turn around
without bumpin' into
half the cast of Shogun.
And I suppose your family
came over on the Mayflower.
Don't you know, New
York is a melting pot.
Different people
from different places.
We should try to make
them feel at home.
Blair likes to think of herself
as "Hostess to the World."
I simply speak the
international language.
Yeah, shopping.
A day with Blair is like
going up San Juan Hill.
Every time you turn around
she's yelling, "Charge!"
Speaking of charging, have
I got a weekend planned!
There is not one
store in Manhattan
that we won't be giving
some serious attention to.
Oh, they're going
shopping. How divine.
And what are you two
planning this weekend?
Knocking over a
few candy stores?
How'd you like to gargle
eggshells, sweetheart?
I thought we could
just hang out tomorrow.
You know, check out
the old neighborhood.
Great! Yeah.
Be careful, girls.
Remember, it's
a jungle out there.
It's about to be
a jungle in here
if you don't watch your
mouth, Miss Clairol.
Don't you threaten me.
Honestly, this one is
right out of the Sweathogs.
You're asking
for it, Barbie Doll!
I'll thank you not to take
that tone with my friend.
She'll take whatever tone
she wants with your friend.
How declasse.
Oh, that means "low."
In your ear. That
means in your ear.
Little words for little minds.
And just whose mind are
you callin' little, muffin-head?
Hers! And don't you call me
names, you grungy grease monkey!
Why don't you go to the garbage
dump and turn yourselves in?
Why don't you
turn blue?
That's telling her, Dina.
Come on, Jesse, let's bolt.
No, you don't, we'll bolt first.
Is this all you brought?
I was in a hurry.
Come on, let's move it.
Hildy. Hildy?
What a wonderful way to
spend Saturday morning.
Breakfast at the Plaza.
And the doorman, Mr. Johnson,
remembering me
after all this time.
I'm having a lovely day.
I'm going to be ill.
What is it?
Hildy's had to run off.
She lost a fillin' or somethin'.
What am I supposed to do now?
I've got our whole crowd
coming over for luncheon
and positively nothing to serve!
Honestly, the selfishness
of some people.
We'll make something ourselves.
Very funny, Warner.
What are we going to do?
We'll throw together a
tuna salad or something.
I beg your pardon?
Tuna. You've heard of tuna fish?
It's like welfare sturgeon.
You must have some in the house.
Well, if we do, chances
are it's for the cat.
Really, Warner,
you're not seriously
suggesting that we...
That is, you and I,
prepare lunch for our friends.
Why not?
Oh, Warner, you always were
the one to try anything once.
Making lunch, that's so cute.
It's not a big deal.
This is a kitchen, you
know, not the space shuttle.
I know that this is a kitchen.
That's why I stay away
from it as much as possible.
This is tuna fish,
should the subject
ever come up again.
See the little fishy?
Now we open it.
You really are
serious about this.
Tuna salad, that's
tuna, mayonnaise,
and something crunchy.
Name something crunchy.
Diamonds.
Come on, Becker.
Well, if I don't make
jokes, I'll lose my temper.
Look at you!
You're turning into a domestic.
What's happened to you?
I spend a lot of time
around a kitchen in school.
I don't believe it.
Well, believe it.
I work there.
You work in a kitchen?
Like a common, ordinary maid?
There is nothing
ordinary about me.
I do dishes, I wait tables,
I even make
extraordinary oatmeal.
Well, I wouldn't brag about it!
Blair, I remember when you
couldn't even make your own bed.
It's still not my best thing.
Anyway, what is wrong with
doing some things for yourself?
Nothing, if you have to.
But we don't have to!
I'm back, Miss Dina.
Hildy, where have you been?
I'm sorry. I had a bad tooth.
I know that!
And you know that we
are expecting guests.
Now, what do you intend to do?
It's already been
done, Miss Dina.
The gazpacho is chilling
and the crepes are always supposed
to be prepared at the last minute.
Well, you gave me quite a scare.
In the future, could you please
take better care of your teeth
so that this doesn't
happen again?
Becker!
Hildy, how is your tooth?
Ask the dentist. He's got it.
How could you take her side?
All I did was ask her
how her tooth was.
You know what I mean.
Or at least you did before
you trotted off to that school.
What is wrong with that school?
I've made a lot of
good friends there.
Like that little hoodlum
at the coffee shop?
Face it, Warner, that
school's gone downhill.
They let almost
anybody in there now.
Becker, in your ear!
And I had a wide open shot.
That's three zip,
Jo. Wanna go again?
Ah, let's knock
it off for a while.
I never used to be
able to beat you.
Guess I'm slippin'
in my old age.
You don't get enough
competition up in farm country.
Takes a little street action
to keep your game sharp.
Sure you don't wanna go again?
Maybe later.
This place has changed.
Yup. Whole neighborhood has.
Yeah.
But not Mrs. Lombardo
at the record store.
She remembered me.
She kept starin' at me the
whole time we were in there.
Sure she did. She was afraid
you were gonna lift something.
Excuse me, girls, could you
hand me those checkers, please?
Why don't you just get
up and get 'em yourself?
Hey, Jesse... Oh, you
don't know these two.
They're always
givin' us a hard time.
If it's not our music, it's the
way we talk, the way we dress...
Hey, come on. There you go.
Thank you, miss.
Oh, sure, five minutes a
year he's a human being.
The rest of the time
he's callin' the cops.
It's a community rec room.
He's part of the community.
Yeah? So are they.
Everywhere you look, there's
nothing but conga dancers.
It beats disco.
What are you so down on 'em for?
Because they're takin' over.
Spanish is becoming the
mother tongue of the Bronx.
So what's wrong with
pickin' up another language?
If it's all the same, I'd just
as soon they learned mine.
I was here first.
See that?
The mural? Yeah, looks good.
Ah, you think so?
Nah, I think it's
missin' somethin'.
Fortunately, I got
just what it needs.
Hey, come on.
Oh, "Come on" what?
You used to do It.
I know.
Hey, we gotta take our stand.
It's us against them!
And people wonder
what's killin' this city.
Who are you, Mayor Koch?
You go off to some
hotshot school,
now you come back talking
like some kind of social worker.
You know, you live here, too.
Why turn this place
into a combat zone?
Because that's what it is.
But you wouldn't
know that, would you?
While we're here mannin' the
barricades, you're off in Fantasy Island.
Look, I just go to
school in Peekskill.
This is my home.
Oh, yeah, I hear you.
Jesse, I care about this place.
I care about you.
Oh, so that's why you're giving
me lessons on how I should act.
I'm not.
Oh, no, it's great. I
can learn from you.
Listen, up at that
school of yours,
when you drink tea,
do you hold your
pinkies up or down?
Lay off the school,
Jesse. It's not like that.
Then how is it?
It's a good place and I'm lucky.
You know, you're lucky, too.
Come on, there's so much goin' on
around you, past those barricades.
You got the whole
city out there.
Oh, what's that, philosophy?
Listen, I'm the one
who has to live here.
I'll do it any way I want.
Don't ruin it, Jesse.
I've had just about
enough from you, you know!
Leave me alone!
Give me that can!
Give it back!
I'm not kidding you,
you're asking for a shot.
It's a nice painting,
Jesse! Look at it.
Oh, that's great. That's
great. You take their side!
Well, you know what? You can
spend the rest of your weekend
singin' La Cucaracha with them,
'cause you ain't
spendin' it with me!
We better get out of here.
Your odds get a lot worse
after the sun goes down.
You comin' or what?
Sure.
A Tab, a Tab, my
VISA card for a Tab!
It's about time. We said 3:15.
It's a wonder I got here at all.
My cab driver got into an
argument with a policeman's horse.
See, you didn't have to worry.
Your friend made it.
You were worried?
I wasn't worried.
I'm not that late.
You're late. We said 3:15.
All right, I'm sorry.
So how was your weekend?
Great. Just great.
How was yours?
Exhausting.
If there's anything adorable
left to buy in Manhattan,
it certainly isn't my fault.
Um, how's your friend? Rocky?
Jesse. Oh, yeah, yeah. Jesse.
She's fine.
The same.
Becker hasn't
changed much either.
You know, I'm kind of looking
forward to get back to school.
To relax, to relax
if nothing else.
Yeah, I'm beat myself. Yeah.
We'd better get going.
Oh, yeah.
After all, we wanna make
sure you get a seat facing front.
♪ You'll avoid a lot of damage ♪
♪ And enjoy the fun of
managing the facts of life ♪
♪ They shed a lot of light ♪
♪ If you hear them
from your brother ♪
♪ Better clear them
with your mother ♪
♪ Better get them right,
call her late at night ♪
♪ You got the future in
the palm of your hand ♪
♪ All you got to do to get
you through is understand ♪
♪ You think you'd
rather do without ♪
♪ You'll never make it
through without the truth ♪
♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ You take the good,
you take the bad ♪
♪ You take them both
and there you have ♪
♪ The facts of life,
the facts of life ♪
♪ There's a time you got to
go and show you're growing ♪
♪ And now you know
about the facts of life ♪
♪ The facts of life ♪
♪ When the world never seems ♪
♪ To be living up
to your dreams ♪
♪ And suddenly
you're finding out ♪
♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪
♪ You ♪
♪ It takes a lot
to get them right ♪
♪ When you're
learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
Bumps to the left of me,
bumps to the right of me,
into the valley of powder we go.
I can't wait to hit those
slopes tomorrow, Mrs. Garrett.
And I know Natalie's
gonna love it.
Except Natalie's not goin'.
What?
Natalie, I thought you were
looking forward to this weekend.
I was.
Then I woke up this morning
and had this very
vivid picture of myself
in a full body cast.
Do you have any idea
how many signatures it takes
to cover something like that?
I don't know that many people.
Now, what brought this on?
I found this in Tootie's pocket.
It's just my old lift ticket.
Read it.
"The purchaser of
this ticket understands
"that skiing is a
dangerous sport.
"Falls and collisions do occur
"and injuries may result."
It's not a sport,
it's a death wish.
I remember the first
time I went skiing.
I hit a tree stump
and turned my ankle.
That reassures me no end.
And had to be carried all
the way down the mountain
by my incredibly
handsome ski instructor.
Oh?
I spent the entire
weekend sipping cocoa
by the fireplace in the lodge,
while he hovered about.
Ah, yes, I remember
last year's ski trip
and my ski instructor, Lars.
Lars?
We're talking hunk on ice.
Yeah.
Okay, Blair, I'm all set.
Jo, we're visiting New
York for the weekend,
not going on maneuvers.
That's right, Blair.
The weekend.
Two days, 48 hours.
Doesn't that tell you anything?
Yes!
I forgot my backup hair
dryer. I'll be right back.
I can't wait to get back
to my old neighborhood.
I miss that New York attitude.
Rude and hostile.
Yeah.
Up here everyone is
so "Have a nice day."
I'm ready for a good
old-fashioned rank-out session.
We "rank-out," don't we, Tootie?
We are so rank.
Oh, yeah? Well, try this.
You're so dumb,
you can't spell IQ.
All set.
And you're so spoiled,
that if you were milk, the date
on the carton would read B.C.
Turn blue.
You see? "Turn blue."
And that was her best shot.
So, you two good buddies gonna see
each other while you're in New York?
Not if I see her first.
Hey, we better hurry if
we're gonna make that train.
Jo, don't just sit
there, we gotta run!
Uh, Jo, would you get
that bag for me, please?
Sure. Sure.
There you go.
Ah!
Isn't that beautiful?
Do you smell that?
What is that?
Grand Central Station, New York.
I feel like I died
and went to heaven.
Well, it smells
like something did.
Why did we ask our
friends to meet us here?
Because it's convenient.
What'll it be, girls?
Give me a cherry cola.
I'll have the same.
Oh, uh, make sure mine's
in a clean glass, please.
Are you planning to do anything
this weekend besides change clothes?
The way you're complaining, you'd
think you were the one lugging this around.
I just don't like things
slowin' me down.
You gotta be fast on
your feet in this town.
Here we go again.
Another lecture on
survival in the urban jungle.
Well, you could use
one, Miss Congeniality.
Are you referring
to my conversation
with that gentleman
on the train?
You don't strike up a
conversation with a total stranger.
In this city, you make eye
contact with the wrong person,
next thing you know
they're dragging the river.
I'll take my chances when
the eyes are that blue.
He was a doll.
Anyway, I wouldn't have
been sitting next to him at all
if you hadn't made me
switch seats with you.
I had to switch with you. I have
to face forward when I travel.
But I hate riding backwards.
I like to see where I'm going.
Well, if I'd been
riding backwards,
you would've also seen
someone throwin' up.
Two cherry colas. Who
gets the clean glass?
Just a little New York humor.
I don't believe my eyes.
What?
A real magazine rack!
You know what that means?
Real magazines.
Oh, to be back in
glorious civilization.
French Vogue, Italian Vogue...
Yeah, they got Dirt Bike
Digest and Chopper News.
Warner!
Becker! Ah!
Oh, Warner, you just
make me wanna toss my C's.
It is nauseating how you get more
gorgeous from one year to the next!
Oh, you look fabulous!
I just love that sweater!
Oh, I would kill, we're
talking murder one,
for that hair.
I think I just stumbled into a
Farrah Fawcett convention.
Oh, uh, Dina, this is Jo.
She's a... a schoolmate of mine.
Is she really?
Dina Becker.
So nice to meet you.
Likewise.
There are certain things you gotta
see with your own eyes to believe.
So you go to the same
school as Warner here.
How wonderful.
I mean, where
else but in America
would someone like you
even know someone like her?
Hey, stranger.
Hey, Jesse! How you doin'?
You look great!
Yeah, long time no see.
Yeah.
Hey, you look a little thin. Don't
they feed you up at that school?
I can't believe it!
Oh, uh, Jesse, this is someone
who goes to my school, Blair Warner.
Hi.
Hello.
So that jacket...
And this is her friend
here, Princess Di.
Dina Becker.
Hi.
So you're Jesse.
Jo's told me so much about you.
Oh, yeah, same here.
You weren't kiddin', were you?
Jesse and Jo. Did you two
ride with the Dalton Gang?
Hey! Watch it!
Boat people.
It's getting so you
can't turn around
without bumpin' into
half the cast of Shogun.
And I suppose your family
came over on the Mayflower.
Don't you know, New
York is a melting pot.
Different people
from different places.
We should try to make
them feel at home.
Blair likes to think of herself
as "Hostess to the World."
I simply speak the
international language.
Yeah, shopping.
A day with Blair is like
going up San Juan Hill.
Every time you turn around
she's yelling, "Charge!"
Speaking of charging, have
I got a weekend planned!
There is not one
store in Manhattan
that we won't be giving
some serious attention to.
Oh, they're going
shopping. How divine.
And what are you two
planning this weekend?
Knocking over a
few candy stores?
How'd you like to gargle
eggshells, sweetheart?
I thought we could
just hang out tomorrow.
You know, check out
the old neighborhood.
Great! Yeah.
Be careful, girls.
Remember, it's
a jungle out there.
It's about to be
a jungle in here
if you don't watch your
mouth, Miss Clairol.
Don't you threaten me.
Honestly, this one is
right out of the Sweathogs.
You're asking
for it, Barbie Doll!
I'll thank you not to take
that tone with my friend.
She'll take whatever tone
she wants with your friend.
How declasse.
Oh, that means "low."
In your ear. That
means in your ear.
Little words for little minds.
And just whose mind are
you callin' little, muffin-head?
Hers! And don't you call me
names, you grungy grease monkey!
Why don't you go to the garbage
dump and turn yourselves in?
Why don't you
turn blue?
That's telling her, Dina.
Come on, Jesse, let's bolt.
No, you don't, we'll bolt first.
Is this all you brought?
I was in a hurry.
Come on, let's move it.
Hildy. Hildy?
What a wonderful way to
spend Saturday morning.
Breakfast at the Plaza.
And the doorman, Mr. Johnson,
remembering me
after all this time.
I'm having a lovely day.
I'm going to be ill.
What is it?
Hildy's had to run off.
She lost a fillin' or somethin'.
What am I supposed to do now?
I've got our whole crowd
coming over for luncheon
and positively nothing to serve!
Honestly, the selfishness
of some people.
We'll make something ourselves.
Very funny, Warner.
What are we going to do?
We'll throw together a
tuna salad or something.
I beg your pardon?
Tuna. You've heard of tuna fish?
It's like welfare sturgeon.
You must have some in the house.
Well, if we do, chances
are it's for the cat.
Really, Warner,
you're not seriously
suggesting that we...
That is, you and I,
prepare lunch for our friends.
Why not?
Oh, Warner, you always were
the one to try anything once.
Making lunch, that's so cute.
It's not a big deal.
This is a kitchen, you
know, not the space shuttle.
I know that this is a kitchen.
That's why I stay away
from it as much as possible.
This is tuna fish,
should the subject
ever come up again.
See the little fishy?
Now we open it.
You really are
serious about this.
Tuna salad, that's
tuna, mayonnaise,
and something crunchy.
Name something crunchy.
Diamonds.
Come on, Becker.
Well, if I don't make
jokes, I'll lose my temper.
Look at you!
You're turning into a domestic.
What's happened to you?
I spend a lot of time
around a kitchen in school.
I don't believe it.
Well, believe it.
I work there.
You work in a kitchen?
Like a common, ordinary maid?
There is nothing
ordinary about me.
I do dishes, I wait tables,
I even make
extraordinary oatmeal.
Well, I wouldn't brag about it!
Blair, I remember when you
couldn't even make your own bed.
It's still not my best thing.
Anyway, what is wrong with
doing some things for yourself?
Nothing, if you have to.
But we don't have to!
I'm back, Miss Dina.
Hildy, where have you been?
I'm sorry. I had a bad tooth.
I know that!
And you know that we
are expecting guests.
Now, what do you intend to do?
It's already been
done, Miss Dina.
The gazpacho is chilling
and the crepes are always supposed
to be prepared at the last minute.
Well, you gave me quite a scare.
In the future, could you please
take better care of your teeth
so that this doesn't
happen again?
Becker!
Hildy, how is your tooth?
Ask the dentist. He's got it.
How could you take her side?
All I did was ask her
how her tooth was.
You know what I mean.
Or at least you did before
you trotted off to that school.
What is wrong with that school?
I've made a lot of
good friends there.
Like that little hoodlum
at the coffee shop?
Face it, Warner, that
school's gone downhill.
They let almost
anybody in there now.
Becker, in your ear!
And I had a wide open shot.
That's three zip,
Jo. Wanna go again?
Ah, let's knock
it off for a while.
I never used to be
able to beat you.
Guess I'm slippin'
in my old age.
You don't get enough
competition up in farm country.
Takes a little street action
to keep your game sharp.
Sure you don't wanna go again?
Maybe later.
This place has changed.
Yup. Whole neighborhood has.
Yeah.
But not Mrs. Lombardo
at the record store.
She remembered me.
She kept starin' at me the
whole time we were in there.
Sure she did. She was afraid
you were gonna lift something.
Excuse me, girls, could you
hand me those checkers, please?
Why don't you just get
up and get 'em yourself?
Hey, Jesse... Oh, you
don't know these two.
They're always
givin' us a hard time.
If it's not our music, it's the
way we talk, the way we dress...
Hey, come on. There you go.
Thank you, miss.
Oh, sure, five minutes a
year he's a human being.
The rest of the time
he's callin' the cops.
It's a community rec room.
He's part of the community.
Yeah? So are they.
Everywhere you look, there's
nothing but conga dancers.
It beats disco.
What are you so down on 'em for?
Because they're takin' over.
Spanish is becoming the
mother tongue of the Bronx.
So what's wrong with
pickin' up another language?
If it's all the same, I'd just
as soon they learned mine.
I was here first.
See that?
The mural? Yeah, looks good.
Ah, you think so?
Nah, I think it's
missin' somethin'.
Fortunately, I got
just what it needs.
Hey, come on.
Oh, "Come on" what?
You used to do It.
I know.
Hey, we gotta take our stand.
It's us against them!
And people wonder
what's killin' this city.
Who are you, Mayor Koch?
You go off to some
hotshot school,
now you come back talking
like some kind of social worker.
You know, you live here, too.
Why turn this place
into a combat zone?
Because that's what it is.
But you wouldn't
know that, would you?
While we're here mannin' the
barricades, you're off in Fantasy Island.
Look, I just go to
school in Peekskill.
This is my home.
Oh, yeah, I hear you.
Jesse, I care about this place.
I care about you.
Oh, so that's why you're giving
me lessons on how I should act.
I'm not.
Oh, no, it's great. I
can learn from you.
Listen, up at that
school of yours,
when you drink tea,
do you hold your
pinkies up or down?
Lay off the school,
Jesse. It's not like that.
Then how is it?
It's a good place and I'm lucky.
You know, you're lucky, too.
Come on, there's so much goin' on
around you, past those barricades.
You got the whole
city out there.
Oh, what's that, philosophy?
Listen, I'm the one
who has to live here.
I'll do it any way I want.
Don't ruin it, Jesse.
I've had just about
enough from you, you know!
Leave me alone!
Give me that can!
Give it back!
I'm not kidding you,
you're asking for a shot.
It's a nice painting,
Jesse! Look at it.
Oh, that's great. That's
great. You take their side!
Well, you know what? You can
spend the rest of your weekend
singin' La Cucaracha with them,
'cause you ain't
spendin' it with me!
We better get out of here.
Your odds get a lot worse
after the sun goes down.
You comin' or what?
Sure.
A Tab, a Tab, my
VISA card for a Tab!
It's about time. We said 3:15.
It's a wonder I got here at all.
My cab driver got into an
argument with a policeman's horse.
See, you didn't have to worry.
Your friend made it.
You were worried?
I wasn't worried.
I'm not that late.
You're late. We said 3:15.
All right, I'm sorry.
So how was your weekend?
Great. Just great.
How was yours?
Exhausting.
If there's anything adorable
left to buy in Manhattan,
it certainly isn't my fault.
Um, how's your friend? Rocky?
Jesse. Oh, yeah, yeah. Jesse.
She's fine.
The same.
Becker hasn't
changed much either.
You know, I'm kind of looking
forward to get back to school.
To relax, to relax
if nothing else.
Yeah, I'm beat myself. Yeah.
We'd better get going.
Oh, yeah.
After all, we wanna make
sure you get a seat facing front.
♪ You'll avoid a lot of damage ♪
♪ And enjoy the fun of
managing the facts of life ♪
♪ They shed a lot of light ♪
♪ If you hear them
from your brother ♪
♪ Better clear them
with your mother ♪
♪ Better get them right,
call her late at night ♪
♪ You got the future in
the palm of your hand ♪
♪ All you got to do to get
you through is understand ♪
♪ You think you'd
rather do without ♪
♪ You'll never make it
through without the truth ♪
♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪