The Emperor's New School (2006–2008): Season 2, Episode 31 - Graduation Groove - full transcript

Kuzco is finally about to graduate, but gets scared when the royal records keeper shows him a task description video about endless duty towards the peasant population. So he attempts to fail his final exams, but multiple choice hazard and Moleguaco's unwillingness to get stuck with him pass. Meanwhile Yzma prepares her coronation and has Kuzco transformed into a chicken. His experience as heroic rooster changes his mind about fitness for emperorship.

(to "Pomp and Circumstance")
♪ Will I become emperor,
or will I not?

♪ Stay tuned for the answer

♪ You'll like this episode
a lot ♪

(♪ "Emperor's New School"
theme)

♪ He's on his way
to the throne

♪ He's on his way to success

♪ But he has to go to school,
he's got to ace that test

♪ He's an emperor-to-be,
and he's totally...

You know,
it's all about me.

Exactly.
Let's go.

♪ He's going to Kuzco Academy
♪ Kuzco Academy



♪ He's got to learn
his A, B, Cs

♪ Don't try to stop him
and top him

To destroy him, right?
Uh...

♪ K-U-Z-C-O

♪ Kuzco, Kuzco,
go, go

♪ He's got the cool, he's got
the charm and the looks

♪ And a hottie
that can help him

♪ Read that thing called books
Let's go.

♪ He's going to Kuzco Academy
Come on, dude.

♪ He's got to fulfill
his destiny

♪ His friends are loyal,
it's royal

♪ They'll help
against the foil

Friends? I thought this
was all about me.

Heh-heh.
Spell my name again.



♪ K-U-Z-C-O

♪ Kuzco, Kuzco,
go, go ♪

Pull the lever, Kronk.

(man over PA) Welcome to
the new Rollercoaster Extreme.

Enjoy the ride.

(Kronk screams)

Whoo!

I've got it.

A brilliant plan
to get rid of Kuzco
once and for all.

I sure hope it's brilliant,
'cause Kuzco's gettin' ready
to graduate.

Isn't this great?
Kuzco's finally gonna be
emperor. Hooray!

Right.
Kuzco graduating -

it's everything
you've been working against.

Maybe I should just leave,
and we can start
this episode again.

I'm not worried, Kronk.
I've got that.

The ultimate
get-rid-of-Kuzco potion!

What do you think?

If that's
the ultimate potion,

ask her why she waited
so long to use it.

Now, now, let's not point out
every little flaw in the plot.

Aw, forget it.
I'm going back to
my t'ai chi class.

You know what? I'll join you.
My halo needs stretching.

Well, what's wrong?

Well, it's just I was
expecting a little more wow.

I mean, look at it.
It's just one of your
regular potion vials,

only bigger.

Believe me, Kronk,
this potion is wow.

It's very wow.

Let me feel the wow.
No, it's too pow-
Nuh-huh.

Heh-heh-heh.

(roars)

That was...

It's not done.

Wow! That would've worked
for sure.

That would've wiped Kuzco
right off the face of Peru.

Wipe! Yes, that was definitely
what I would call wow!

Too bad you dropped it.

Oh, maybe you can turn him
into a llama again.
Quiet, Kronk.

Fortunately,
I also have that.

What is it?
My emergency
emperor overthrowing kit.

With a guaranteed 92% wow.

Can I feel the wow?
No.

Boom, baby.
I'm almost back.

(alarm blares)

(alarm turns off)

Think about it, Malina.

All this
will Sunday be mine.
Sunday?

Mm-hmm. Graduation
Sunday morning,

Coronation
Sunday afternoon,

and Sunday night,
the Kuzcoronation par-tay.

Look, I had a piñata made.

It just so happens
I know a certain handsome
and muscular emperor-to-be

who still needs
a datey-date-date.

Oh, at the
all-about-Kuzco fest?

No, thanks.

Kuzco, come, come.
You're wasting time.

You must view the mandatory
emperor orientation video.

No touchy, funny hat dude.
I've had plenty of experience
as emperor.

But now you're
officiallyemperor,

and the responsibilities
are quite different
than before.

Oh, right, all right.
Catch ya later, Malina...

at school.

Yeah... catch ya later,
Kuzco.

So, how long does this
orientation video
dealio last?

Are there chapter stops?

Can I skip right to
the here's-how-much-money-I-get
scene?

Now, Kuzco, being an emperor
is not all fun.

It's about leadership.

Welcome. This is
your orientation film
for becoming emperor...

Boring. Bring on
the cart chase, hmm?

This movie does have
a cart chase, right?

Pay attention.
This is serious.

Yeah, seriously boring.

...to fulfill
the responsibilities
associated with being a leader.

For example,
here's a leader-to-be.

We'll call him Kozco.

Each day,
he must rise at 5am...
In the morning?

...for his three-hour
peasant leadership meeting

and sponge bath.

Oh, me no likey spongey bath.

To read a 65-page report
during his healthy breakfast.

No time to relax,
because there's five hours
of exercise required

each afternoon.

He will be protected by guards
at all times.

This will deter
any hottie-hot hotties

that may try to interrupt
the schedule.

What? No hottie-hot hotties?

Yes. Your primary
responsibility
as emperor

will be to lead this man
and this woman and this man

and this family
and these peasants
and these peasants

and even more peasants.

Being an emperor
means being... a leader.

A leader.
A leader.

A leader. So, unless
you can think of some way
of getting out of it,

welcome to your new
miserable life.

So, Kuzco, are you
ready to get on with
your emperor life

and become the leader
of all the peasants?

Uh, yeah, I, uh...

I guess so.

Kuzco?

Hello. What's wrong?

Wrong? Nothing's wrong.
Really.

So, how are you?

I got a summer internship
at theKuzconian Times.

Oh, yeah, great.

I got a job with
the Mugslinger
Corporation,

in the mailroom.

I was accepted into
the prestigious Spinach Puff
Culinary Academy.

We are going to be
anteater herders.

I am going to live off
my good looks
and seductive charm.

(growls)

And I got me a promotion -
senior waitress at Mudka's.

And Kuzco finally gets to
officially be emperor

and become the leader
of the entire kingdom.

Now, now, we don't wanna
rushy-rush into things.

Ooh, I have a great idea.

Why don't we put all this
graduation stuff on hold

and stay in school
for another year?

(all laugh)

You wanna stay in school
for another year?

Good one, sir.

Yeah, only if you fail
the final exam.

The final exam -

for you, it means graduating
or not.

For me, it means vacation time
is almost here.

Technically, I'm supposed to
remain here and monitor
your test-taking,

but that would mean
looking at all of you
for three hours,

so Mr. Buckethead
will be substituting.

(thinking) Malina answered "A,"
so I'll answer "D."

Heh-heh-heh.
Hello, good-lookin'.

Section C - hmm.

Ooh, I'll just answer "C"
for everything.

Heh-heh. There's no way
I passed that.

Congratulations, Kuzco,
you passed.

What?

You're gonna be emperor, sir.
Kuzco almost rules!

♪ No more students,
no more books

♪ No more Kuzco's dirty looks ♪

Everybody's so in a hurry
to leave.

I mean, why?
It's school.

Kuzco, you've hated school
since the day you got here.

Yeah, sure,
but I'll miss my locker.

Uh, your locker's over there.

Hmm. I didn't think
this unicorn doll was mine.

Be honest, Kuzco.
You're afraid, aren't you?

What, me? Well...

Afraid we won't see each other
once you're emperor.

Well, don't worry. Even if
you are rich and famous,

I'm mature enough
to look past that.

♪ I will soon,
I will soon

♪ I will soon
be the empress ♪

You wanted to see me,
Principal Amzy?

Don't you knock?

There's no door,
and I didn't wanna
wake your baby.

Didn't even know you had a baby.
Must be really ugly.

That's why you keep it
covered up and in a cage.
Don't make me look at it.

It's not a baby.
It's a bird.

And I want you to take him down
to the secret lab at once.

Secret lab? Principal Amzy,

there's no "secret lab"
in a school.

Do we have to go through this
disguise thing every time?

Disguise thing?
What disguise thing?

Where I reveal
I'm really Yzma.

Yeah, but, Yzma,
I have no idea what -
Aha!

You called me Yzma,
not Principal Amzy.

You must know
I'm the same person.

OK, I admit it. I know.
Amzy's Yzma and Yzma's Amzy.

I mean, it's so obvious.
Yzma's Amzy spelled backwards.

Your voice is the same.
You both have that, uh,
formaldehyde smell.

How long have you known?
About three episodes back.

Surprise!

Congratulations, Kuzco.
You're gonna be emperor.

And more importantly,
you're leaving.

I took the liberty
of packing your things.

But -
And here's
your good luck cake.

I put it in
a to-go container.

(sighs)

I thought when you graduated,
you'd be dancing on the tables,

wearin' a party hat
and screaming your head off.

Whoo-hah!

You wanna tell
an old llama herder
what's the matter?

Well, see,
I have this friend.

He's about to become
an emperor tomorrow.

Uh-huh.
But it's not me.

No, no, of course not.
Go on.

And I'm worried -
I mean, he's worried

that maybe he doesn't have
what it takes

to be a leader.

Not like you'd thought
it would be, huh?

Ach, you can go on back
to the party. I'll be OK.

Well, well, look who
we have here.

Soon-to-be-emperor Kuzco.

What is this,
visit Kuzco night?

We've had some good times,
you and I, yes?
Uh, no.

The time I turned you into
a rabbit, a frog,

an elephant, a chipmunk,
a puma, a fly,

a giraffe, a monkey.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's just
stop the trip down memory lame.

What do you want, Yzma?

It's what I don't want.
I'm done.

Done?
That's right.

Nothing will stop you
from becoming emperor now.

Oh, you're probably
just all out of potions.

Well, I do have
one potion left,

but it won't dome
any good.

Oh, yeah? What's it do?

It's an everlasting
chicken potion.

Turns you into a chicken
forever.

Just a simple
little chicken,

a chicken with no worries,
no responsibilities,

no... peasants to lead.

Ta-ta.

Help! Help!

Where am I?
Squawk.

Kronk, get me
outta here.

You are one rare bird,
aren't you?

I'm not a bird.
That's what
all the birds say.

Yzma turned me into a bird
and locked me in this cage.

Then she potioned herself
into looking like me
to get to Kuzco.

Well, you are quite a talker,
aren't you, birdy?

Polly, Polly, funny bird.

Kronk, I am not Polly.

Oh, oh, say, "Give papa
a cup of proper coffee
in a copper coffee cup."

Say that.

(♪ march)

Welcome, graduating students
and their families,

to, uh... Kuzco Academy.

After today,
there is no turning back.

Once a student
has their diploma,
they've graduated.

Some of you will go on
to do great things,

while others will go on
to bear great burdens.

(cackling)

Oh, uh, sorry.

Will the graduating students
of Kuzco Academy please rise?

Aren't you excited?

What's exciting
about being finished
with school forever

and suddenly becoming
the leader of everyone?

Kuzco, are you OK?
Actually, I can't stay.

Excuse me. Pardon me.

I'm off to
the little emperor's room.
Kuzco.

Congratulations,
what's-your-name.

Congratulations,
whoever you are.

Congratulations,
blah-blah-blah.

How many students
do we have at this place?

Look, could we just cut
to the chase?

Where's Kuzco?

Where is he?

Kronk, did you see
where Kuzco went?

No, and if he doesn't
get his diploma,

a certain somebody - Yzma -
gets to be empress.

What else am I supposed to do,

become emperor
and lead all these people?

I don't know how
to lead anything.

(sighs)OK, let's just
get this over with.

Or maybe watch
a commercial.

I mean, I don't wanna
tell you what to do.

Stop looking at me.
I'm not in charge.

(Kuz-chicken clucks)

Thanks for the invitation
to your birthday.

I love parties -
games, presents, cake.

Uh, where are the games,
presents and cake?

It's not my birthday.
No? Hold on.

You can cancel
the surprise cake.

What am I supposed to do
with a cake with 200 candles?

I don't know.
Find 20 10-year-olds?

So what are we celebratin'?

Kuzco didn't get his diploma
because he turned himself
into a chicken.

Now I'm going to be empress!
(cackles)

So this party's for you?
No, Kronk, it's foryou.

Yay. A party for me.

A going-away party
because you're fired!

Yeah, but if you're empress,
aren't you gonna need
an advisor?

What idiot would hire
a meathead like you
to be their advisor?

You?

Pack up your things
and get out.

But who's gonna pull
the lever?

And, uh... I said
the lever thing, right?

Well, let's see, uh...

anything that's not purple
is pretty much mine.

Hey, you never wore
the "You Go, Girl" T-shirt
I got ya!

Oh, Kronk,
there you are.

Of course here I am.
Where else would I be?

Not in the secret lab!

What did Yzma do to Kuzco?

The coronation
is this afternoon.

Why would I know anything
about Yzma?

I don't work for that old
purple dinosaur hag lady.

Everybody knows
you work for her.

No, I don't. Not anymore.

Wait a minute.

If I don't work for
Wrinklestiltskin anymore,

then I can tell you
everything that's going on.

(gasps, whispering)
Whisper, whisper, whisper.

And... whisper, whisper,
whisper.

Kronk, quit saying,
"Whisper, whisper, whisper"
and tell me what's going on.

Oh, sorry.

Ohh, bein' a chicken's
not so bad.

I can have eggs
for breakfast every morning.

And I can join a band,
'cause I've already got
drumsticks. Ha-ha.

And, uh...

Ooh, party!

(clucking)

Hey, guys, party time.

Last one on the cart's
a rotten egg.

He couldn't have
gotten far.

Even if we do find him,
then what?

Yzma lost the anti-animal
antidote vial.

What happened to it?
Well, Chester here
swallowed it three years ago.

(sneezes)

Well, that was convenient.

Gross but convenient.

Now we just need
to find Kuzco.

(Kuz-chicken)
♪ With a cluck-cluck here
and a cluck-cluck there

♪ Here a cluck, there a cluck,
everywhere a cluck-cluck ♪

That was convenient, too.

Yay! We're going to a party
at the world's largest
Mudka's.

Hey, watch it.

Give a guy-slash-chicken
a little room here.

Hey, that's cool.

Uh, if you all
lined up in rows,
we'd have much more room.

(gasps)You did it again.

OK, OK, uh, everybody
stand on one leg.

Now stand on one wing.

Now cluck like chickens.
(cluck)

Now put on funny hats.

Cool.

What is this place?

This is where they make
the meat mugs.

We've gotta find Kuzco.
Before he gets mugged.

Over there!

You sure that's him?
It's the only chicken
with earrings.

Kuzco!Kuzco!

Hey, Malina,
check me out.

(thud)
Whoa-oa!

H-Hey, a ride.
This is fun.

It's not fun, Kuzco. Look!

Aah! What do I do?
What do I do?

(chickens clucking)

Kuzco, you're going to
have to lead them all
to safety!

Me? But...

That's it.

(grunting)

Wh-Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

This way, this way.
Women and eggs first.

Whoo!

(machine slows down,
then stops)

(animals screeching,
clucking, growling)

That was awesome, Kuzco.
You led all the chickens
to safety.

Hey, you're right.
Ididlead the chickens.

And if I can lead chickens,
I can lead peasants.

They're practically
the same thing.

So that's why
you didn't wanna graduate.

You were afraid.

Yeah, but not anymore.

Now I can graduate
and become emperor.

Only if we stop Yzma.

Principal Amzy has informed me

that Kuzco will not graduate
from Kuzco Academy.

Therefore the moment has come
for his successor

to be crowned.

Me!

(all gasp/murmuring)

Begin my coronation.

Uh...

The purple button!

Thi-Thi-This can't
be happening.

Soon I shall be
Empress Yzma.

(cackles)

What happened
to my special effects?

The true and rightful
emperor of the land
should be this chicken.

A chicken rule the kingdom?

I'd vote for him.

This is really
Emperor Kuzco.

We woulda anti-animaled him,

but the cork, uhh,
in this vial, uhh, is stuck.

He was turned into a chicken
by Yzma.

It's not true. Who ever heard
of a potion that turns people
into animals?

I have.
Aah!

I'm not really a bird.
I'm the royal record keeper.

(crowd gasps)

Chicken or not,
Kuzco can't be emperor.

He doesn't have
his diploma.

Uh, uh, Kronk,
what do I do?

Several options.

One - ask Yzma to sit down
and discuss the situation
politely.

Two - let her become empress,
then seek an appeal

from a judge appointed
by Yzma.

Three - I throw you
as hard as I can
and hope for the best.

Let's go with three.

Yaah!

The antidote.

Got it! How convenient
that it happened to open.

Just throw it!

Aah!

No-o-o-o!

(cheering)

Bye-bye.

Aaaaah!

Boom-bam, baby.

I'm finally emperor.

This time,
Kuzco really rules!

Yeah, though I gotta say,

I was expecting
a little more enthusiasm.

Anyway, my dear peasants,

in my first act as emperor,

one Kuzcoin for everyone
who cheers.

(all cheer)

And a cheering tax
of one Kuzcoin

for everyone who cheers.

(all boo)

Look at 'em. They love me.

And who can blame 'em?
I'm all-powerful. Yay me.

Uh, Kuzco, I'm probably not
supposed to be in here,

but, uh, there's hardly
any time left in the show,

and, uh...
Oh, no,
we never had a date.

Well, yeah.
So I thought maybe...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Start the show.
Start the show!

Hey, Pach, uh, lock up
after the show, will ya?

So, uh, just to make sure,

you're saying
thisisa date, right?

(giggles)Right.

Hmm. Maybe being emperor
won't be so bad after all.

Now, I know
all that really matters
is that I'm emperor again,

but just in case
you were wondering,

I had the Pacha clan move
into the palace with me.

I hired Guaka
as my royal spin doctor

to tell everyone
what a great job I'm doing,

which I'll need
now that Malina is reporting
for theKuzconian Times.

Kronk's my new royal advisor,
but he's not alone.

I got him an assistant.

Kuzco!

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