The Donna Reed Show (1958–1966): Season 2, Episode 15 - Lucky Girl - full transcript

Oh, hello, Myra.

Hi, Donna.

Carol?

Oh, what a pretty
panda you have.

How are you, Myra?

Fine, now that I've seen that
wonderful husband of yours.

Oh.

Dorothy Elliott is in there with
her little girl, I'm waiting for her.

Nothing serious, I hope.

Not serious, just ridiculous.

A rash.



She's allergic to her panda.

Oh.

I suppose she adores it.

Adores it?

If she had to choose between
Sylvester and her baby brother,

you know who would go.

What are you going
to do about Sylvester?

What can I do?

I have to sponge
and bathe him daily.

Oh.

What a relief about Carol.

The doctor made some tests and,

well, he's just wonderful.

Well, he is a
pretty good doctor,



if I do say so myself.

Well, I didn't mean
just as a doctor,

as a man.

He has that quiet
reassuring manner.

Hi, darling.

Well, you'll be as good
as new in no time, Debbie.

I don't have to practice
piano, do I, Doctor?

It might hurt my arm.

I give you my personal
permission to practice, Debbie,

but you'll have
to give up football.

Girls don't play football.

Actually, she should use
her wrist as much as possible.

It'll help.

Well, thank you,
Doctor. I was so worried.

You needn't be.

Excuse me.

Well, hello, Dorothy.

Donna, that husband of
yours is simply marvelous.

Well, that seems to be the
general opinion around here.

I was just telling Donna.

Well, not only as
a doctor, as a man.

Well, that's just what
Myra was saying.

Come along, dear.

You feel that kind of
quiet strength about him.

That's true and, you know,
with it is a sort of sensitivity.

Don't you think so?

Oh, I've liked him for
years, not just as a doctor.

Well, he's so good-looking.

Well, I wasn't going
to mention that.

You know, Donna?
You're a pretty lucky girl.

Lucky isn't the word for it.

- Goodbye, Donna.
- Goodbye.

Bye.

Goodbye, girls.

- Oh, would you mind, honey?
- Yes, I'll get that, dear.

Hello?

Oh, yes, Mrs. Frazier.

Yes, I know.

Yes, he is.

Oh... well, thank you for
taking the trouble to call me

and I will tell him.

Goodbye.

That was Mrs. Frazier.

- Oh, chairman of
the nursery board?
- Uh-huh.

She said all the
women were thrilled

by the speech you
gave there yesterday.

They just raved
about you afterwards.

Oh... It was a
rather good speech,

just enough humor tossed in
to keep it from becoming dull.

She said that you
were one in a million

and I was very fortunate
to have you for a husband.

- She said all that?
- Uh-huh.

That's a longer speech than
I made at the nursery school.

And the girls were right.

I took it a feeling
of quiet strength.

Really?

We won't even
mention your good looks.

Why not? I've got time.

Well, I always think that
ugly men are attractive.

Honey, I know a plastic surgeon

who will be glad to make
me ugly as a personal favor.

Why fight it.

I'm lucky and you're wonderful.

Who's wonderful?

- Daddy.
- Oh, he certainly is.

There, you see?

And that girl is
a total stranger.

Thanks for the
compliment, honey,

but you shouldn't have done it.

- What's going on around here?
- Oh, nothing.

I took a poll this morning

and your daddy is
the idol of all the ladies.

Oh, did I ever tell you
about some of the things

my girlfriends say about Daddy?

Really?

You can tell me
some other time, dear.

Compliments make
your father uncomfortable.

Besides being wonderful,
he's also modest.

Who's wonderful and modest, me?

No.

I didn't think so,
but it's worth a try.

Mom, Mrs. Murdoch
sent this over.

Oh, thank you, dear.

Well, I got tickets to the play

the university
players is putting on.

Oh, fine. What night?

Uh, Thursday.

Thursday...

Oh, I promised Jack Murdoch
I'd fill in with his bowling team.

One of the regulars
would be missing.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Well, I'll try to exchange them.

Oh, honey. I'll call
Jack and explain.

Don't you want to go bowling?

Well, it's much easier for
me to change my plans.

Are you sure you won't mind?

No, not a bit.

I'll go bowling
some other night.

What's the matter?
Something wrong?

No, no, nothing's wrong.

Not a thing.

Donna, when you told Alex

that he couldn't go
bowling Thursday night

because you have
tickets to the play,

what did he say?

Well, he's going, but I don't
think that's especially noble,

it's just reasonable.

That's what I mean.
He's one in a million.

Oh, Donna, you're
a very lucky girl.

That's what I've been hearing.

How did you ever find him?

I won him in a contest,
25 words or less.

I think he's
wonderful because...

If I were you, Donna,

I'd keep him under lock and key.

Well, I can't.

I have to share my
precious gift with the world.

- Hi, Betty.
- Hi, Alex.

- Darling?
- Hi, dear.

- Oh, how's Jack?
- Jack.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear it.

Would you like some
lemonade, dear?

Thank you, dear.

He's very polite, too.

I'm beginning to understand
your burden, Donna.

The world will never know.

If you're going to
talk about me, spell.

I pick up things very easily.

Oh, I'd better be going.

And don't forget,
keep him locked up.

- Bye.
- Bye, Betty.

Goodbye, Betty.

My good judgment
tells me not to ask,

but what was that all about?

Betty just joined your fan club.

Oh, another one.

Well, I have to get
some pictures taken.

Just something
to show my profile.

Alex, you like to go
bowling, don't you?

Yeah, of course.

And you made arrangements to go

before I got the
theater tickets?

Uh-huh.

Then, why didn't you
insist on going bowling?

Why?

Well, then, you'd be a
normal stubborn husband

and I'd have something
to complain about.

Honey, when they created
women, they made them beautiful,

gentle, warm-hearted,

but they overlooked one thing,

logic.

- Well, maybe, I was developing
an oversensitivity.
- Hmm...

But just to make me happy,
dear, would you please try to stop

being so reasonable
and understanding?

All right, dear,
anything you say.

- There you go again.
- Yes, dear.

I mean, no, dear.

I don't get it, Dad. What's up?

Don't try to
figure it out, Jeff.

It all started
thousands of years ago.

You don't mind waiting?

I'll be with you
in a few minutes.

No, of course not, Helen.

Oh, by the way, how
was your niece, Charlotte?

- Charlene.
- Oh.

Oh, she's fine.

Since Dr. Stone
took out her tonsils,

she'd been gaining
weight like mad.

Oh, good.

Now, she thinks everybody
has to have their tonsils out.

She's working on her
two-year-old brother.

Oh, well, watch it. That's
a very suggestible age.

- Excuse me.
- Certainly.

What we go through
for our husbands.

And do you think they
appreciate it or even notice?

Was that Dr. Alex stone you
and Helen were talking about?

Yes, it was.

Now, there's a man.

Yes, he is.

He would notice when his wife
got home from the beauty shop?

Do you know him?

Well, fairly well,
as a matter of fact...

Then, I don't have
to tell you anymore.

Whoever is married to him
should thank her lucky stars.

I here, she's never
quite recovered

from her stroke of good luck.

He has a kind of magnetism.

It's... Well, I... I really
don't know how to explain it.

I think I know what you mean.

It's a kind of quiet strength

that's being heard
all over town.

You know, Dr. Stone
addressed our nursery school

the other day.

Oh, what an attractive man.

And what an eloquent speaker.

What did he talk about?

Who knows?

I didn't hear a word he said.

I just sat and stared.

Well, I hope some
of the women listened.

They doctor might have spent
a lot of time preparing that talk.

Do you know Mrs.
Stone? Is she pretty?

Well, I wouldn't say
she's a raving beauty.

You don't have
to tell me anymore.

I've never seen it fail.

Men like the doctor always
marries some drab, dreary girl.

Well, now, why
does being a doctor

make a man a special prize?

Because doctors
are very eligible.

They don't have to
marry just any girl.

Oh, really? I didn't know that.

My cousin in
Chicago is a doctor.

He said dozens of
people are after him

to marry their
daughters or their nieces.

Really?

Well, how was he
going to decide?

They have them
submit sealed bids?

You know what I mean.

A doctor tries to
marry the right girl.

Well, doesn't every man?

Oh, but it's not the same.

For instance, if he
married a wealthy girl,

it might help him
in his practice.

My cousin is engaged
to a girl whose father has

a chain of 15 furniture stores.

Fifteen? Really?

Anyway, it must be a challenge

being married to a
man like Dr. Stone.

Yes.

What do you mean "challenge?"

What I mean,
married to a brilliant,

attractive man like that,

a wife has to make an
effort to hold his interest.

If he were my husband...

He may be available soon.

I'm ready for you
now, Mrs. Stone.

Mrs. Stone?

Yes, Mrs. Alex Stone.
Mrs. Dr. Alex Stone.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't...

Please, don't apologize.

I'm delighted to learn
he married the wrong girl.

Hey, hey, hey.
That's quite a dress.

- You like it?
- Yeah.

Does it sustain your interest?

I should say so.

What are you trying to do?

If I can't have
you, nobody will.

Oh, I'm sleeping with
one I hope in the night.

Honey, you shouldn't let a
few idle remarks like that...

Idle remarks?

"Wonderful, brilliant,
magnetic, understanding."

Oh, Donna, you're
much too intelligent

to be upset by
a thing like that.

Upset? I'm not upset.

I just never knew the real you.

Dear, there's a friendly
dog up in the next block

who loves everybody.

He snaps at me.

A boy almost hit me
with his bicycle today.

It looked like an accident,
but he tried to run me down.

In college, I won an
unpopularity contest.

Dear, one of the things your
admirers never mentioned

is the sense of humor.

And I know why.

Oh, Mother, you look beautiful.

Well, thank you, dear.

Yes, doesn't she?

Hey, you see how I am when
somebody pays you a compliment.

And you look very
nice, too, Daddy.

How long should it take
this family to get dressed?

Oh, he dabs some water
on his hands and face

and considers himself dressed.

- Is that so?
- Yes.

All right, all right.

Your show is out at 10:21.

Now, be sure to wait
for us. We'll pick you up.

- Okay, Mom.
- Okay, Mom.

- Are you ready, dear?
- Yeah.

Mom, what's the play
about you're going to see?

She Stoops to Conquer.

Well, I haven't
read it since college,

so I don't remember
much about it.

I think it's 19th century.

Uh, 18th century.

It's by Oliver Goldsmith.

It's one of the first plays
where people act and talk

realistically.

Daddy, with all of
your crazy hours,

how do you find so
much time to read?

Well, I...

How do you like it so far?

Oh, very much.

- Tony Lumpkin is just wonderful.
- Yeah.

You know, it seems to me
the real reason for all his trouble

is that Squire Hardcastle, even
though he is very good to him,

isn't really his father.

That's an interesting
angle, darling.

It never occurred to me.

Hi.

- Oh, hi, Jane, Betty.
- Jane, Betty.

- How are you, Doctor?
- Just fine, thank you.

Is Jack here with you?

And miss his precious bowling?

Luckily, Jane was free.

How did you manage
to get the one husband

who doesn't fight
anything that's cultural?

Well, actually, Alex
dragged me here.

I wanted to go roller skating.

Doctor, what do
you think of the play?

Well, it seems to me that
all of Lumpkin's mischief

stems from the fact that the
squire isn't really his father.

That's it exactly,
he's rebelling.

What a wonderful interpretation.

Well, I've seen the play before,

but I've never really
understood it until now.

What did you think
about it, Donna?

Oh, well, I agree with Alex.

As a matter of fact, I
was quoting Donna.

Really?

Doctor, tell me what do you
think of the new experimental

playwrights like
Beckett and Ionesco?

Well, why don't we ask
Donna? She's read their plays.

I've read them, too.

I just wanted the opinion
of a man with your insight.

Well, I tried one once,
but I couldn't get through it.

Frankly, I couldn't see what
the point he was trying to make.

That's it exactly, Betty.

Particularly, all the critics
agree with Dr. Stone.

Did you understand what
they were trying to say, Donna?

Well, I'm not sure,
but I thought...

You're so right, Dr. Stone.

A playwright has
to make a point.

What was Beckett trying
to say in Waiting for Godot?

I haven't the slightest idea.

I don't think anyone has.

So many people
read things into plays

and refused to admit they
don't understand them.

What did you think of The
Chairs or have you read that?

The Chairs?

Oh, that's that play
you read to me, Donna.

Really?

What did you think of it?

Well, uh...

It seems this imaginary
audience was gathered

to hear some universal message.

Well, I think that by the
time the first act was over...

Honey, I didn't set myself
up as an authority on theater.

I'm not angry.

I was just being polite
in answering questions.

Alex, I'm not angry.

Didn't I give you credit
for everything I said?

Alex, I'm telling
you for the last time,

I'm not angry.

No? Where did I get
the impression you were?

From me.

How did you expect
me to feel standing there

while you let up all
those silly compliments

from a cheering audience?

Oh, boy. I can't
follow your logic.

I must be stupid.

I just want the opinion of
the man with your insight...

All right, darling.

Conceding that you had
your fill of my virtues as a man

and a husband,

how is it any reflection on you?

Because you are wonderful
and I'm lucky implies that...

- it's a reflection, that's all.
- Oh, darling.

You're being
entirely unreasonable.

I can't help what
Jane or Betty say.

And then, why is it my
fault if some silly woman

under a hair dryer whom
I've never seen before

makes idiotic statements like...

Dr. Stone speaking.

Oh, yes, put her on, please.

Oh, Mrs. Gordon?

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Any temperature?

Oh, well, it doesn't
sound too serious,

but I'll come over
and check anyway.

Fine.

About 15 minutes.

I'll be at the Gordon's.

Maybe, by the
time I'll get back,

you will realize how
unreasonable you're being.

I'm not unreasonable.

No? What do you call it?

Anger, pure unadulterated anger.

Jeff?

Honey, what's the matter?

Mom, I don't feel so good.

Where does it hurt? Show me.

Where do you hurt?

It hurts all over.

Oh, Jeff, what's the matter?

I don't know,
Mary. I feel awful.

Momma?

Mary, go out in the closet
and get some blankets, please.

Here, Mom.

How much, Momma?

I think I better call Daddy.

Well, thank you, Mrs.
Gordon. I'll try there.

Did you get him, Momma?

Daddy got another call
while he was at the Gordon's.

I'll try there now.

I took it again.

Is it up?

No, no.

Hello, Mrs. Conroy.

This is Donna Stone.
I'm sorry to disturb you.

But is the doctor still there?

Oh.

You don't know
where by any chance?

Thank you.

No, it's our son.

Thanks.

Honey, get a wash pan with
some lukewarm water in it

and some alcohol out of
the medicine cabinet, please.

Okay, Momma.

Hello, Mrs. Fletcher?

Is Dr. Stone there, please?

Oh. Do you know where he went?

All right. I'll try there.

Hello, Mrs. Johnson.

Is Dr. Stone there, please?

Oh.

I'm sorry to disturb you.
Thank you very much.

I can't locate Daddy. He
must be on his way home.

How do you feel, dear?

- Mom?
- Yes, honey.

Where's Dad?

We're waiting for him.

Maybe, I'd better call
Dr. Richardson while we're waiting.

Oh, it's Daddy.

- Oh, Daddy, hurry upstairs.
- What's up?

Well, it's Jeff. He
doesn't feel good.

He woke up about a half hour
ago complaining of terrible pain.

- Any temperature?
- No.

Uh-huh.

Put your knees up, Jeff.

- That hurt?
- Uh-uh.

How about that?

Kind of.

Okay.

What's he had to eat?

Well, he ate two hamburgers
after the show, Daddy.

Anything during the show?

A bag of popcorn.

And?

Two candy bars.

And?

Two root beers.

- And?
- That's all.

That's all?

Get me a glass of
water, honey, please?

All right, Jeff. Sit up.

Drink that.

A little more.

The symptoms are alarming,

but it's a simple case
of over overeating.

How do you feel now, dear?

Fine. Can I have
something to eat?

I'm taking you off
food until breakfast.

Honey, you'd better
get back to bed.

Okay. Goodnight, Jeff.

Boy, I must have
been close to death.

Goodnight, Daddy. I just
think you're wonderful.

Goodnight, honey.

- Goodnight, Jeff.
- Goodnight, Mom.

Goodnight, Dad, and thanks.

Goodnight, Jeff.

Oh...

Oh.

Thank you, honey.

Oh, boy.

Alex, you are wonderful.

Me?

Wonderful?

Coming from my own wife?

Well, tonight, I wasn't a wife.

I was a mother
in a state of panic

and you performed some
miracle that made my child well.

It wasn't a miracle. It was
the medicine that did it.

To a mother, it was a miracle.

Now, I know how all those
women feel when you come in.

I don't do that for all mothers.

No, this is a very special case.

Darling, as a doctor,

I must prevent a recurrence
of your acute resentment.

It was temporary madness.

I promise you it will
never happen again.

I've joined your fan club.

Oh fine.

Now, that your
fever has gone down,

have I ever told you how
many men consider me lucky

to be married to you?

Who said that? Who?

Oh, lots of men.

Well, tell me, honey.

Oh, come on, now.

A woman likes to
hear those things.

Come on, who said that?