The Donna Reed Show (1958–1966): Season 2, Episode 14 - The Homecoming Dance - full transcript

Mom, can I, mom? Huh?

No, Jeff. I said no.

Oh, why not?

Because the last time you
and Eddie slept at a tent,

you kept everybody
awake half the night.

- But, Mom, we won't...
- In and out of the house,

- slamming the backdoor...
- Mom, we won't...

in and out of the
refrigerator all night long.

Mom, will you listen?
May I say one word?

Say it.

Please.



Mom, it gets awful stuffy
up there in my room at night.

I can hardly breathe.

- Hey, Dad.
- Yeah.

Do you think it's
okay if Eddie and me

sleep out in the
tent next weekend?

I don't see any reason
why not. Ask your mother.

Yeah.

Well, you think it's okay then?
Would you tell Mom for me?

Tell her what?

That it's okay.

What's okay?

Oh, Jeff was just asking
if he could sleep out

in the tent with Eddie.

- Certainly not.
- Certainly not.



But Dad, you just...

- Jeff, don't you ever
do that again.
- What?

Get your father to
say yes to something

I've already said no to.

Dear, I do think you might
give me a little more support

in these matters.

Honey, I walked into this cold.

I didn't know a policy
had been formulated.

Hereafter, you pay
attention to your mother.

Now I got to call Eddie.

Hello, Eddie?

This is Jeff.

No, just like I
thought, no soap.

No, dad was okay.
He said we could.

It was Mom as usual.

Oh, you know. Dad never wins.

He's always giving in.

Why can't Jeff sleep out
in the tent if he wants to?

Hold the wire.

I'll discuss it with
you later, dear.

How about it?

We'll discuss it later.

Just like I thought, no soap.

See you, Eddie.

Oh, Daddy has a
letter for you, dear.

Oh.

Oh, it's from Charter Heights.

Who do I know in
Charter Heights?

Well, open it and see.

Maybe, it's someone
from State college.

Mother, who'd be writing
me from State college?

Well, open it,
dopey and find out.

Let me see. Could
it be Peggy Beason?

No, no, she
transferred to Westland.

I know. It's Sally Croft.

Why would she be writing me?

Louise Manson.

Open it.

Gee...

Hello?

Oh, yes, just a
moment. Jeff, it's for you.

Oh, okay.

Mother, it's from Herbie.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Eddie.

Wait just a second, I'll ask.

Mom, if we take down the tent
and put it in Eddie's backyard,

- his mom says...
- Not in Eddie's backyard,

our backyard, or
anybody's backyard.

It didn't work, Eddie.

Bye.

Momma, it's an
invitation to a dance.

Oh, that's nice, dear.

Oh, I thought you and
Herbie were all washed up.

When is it, Mary?

Next Saturday.

Where is this dance? The
main ballroom in a hotel?

Well, no. It's at
the college, Daddy.

It's part of the
homecoming weekend.

I'll be staying at
the girls' dormitory.

The college?

That's 300 miles away.

What a dirty jip.

Mary gets to do everything
and I can't do anything.

Now, wait just a minute. I
haven't said she could go.

Well, you're not going
to say that I can't go.

Well, I don't know quite
what I'm going to say,

but darling, I do
think you're too young

to be going out
with college boys.

Oh, Mother.

Daddy, tell her it's all right.

Well, you know, darling,

Mary is just about
the same age you were

when you started going
on weekends at State.

Well, that was different.

How was it different?

Well, I...

Well, if you want to know,
when I was Mary's age,

I was a lot older.

Mother, that doesn't make sense.

Mothers don't
have to make sense.

You're not kidding.

Jeff, would you leave
the room, please?

Oh, golly. Mom,
you always say that.

What am I got to do with it?

Now, Jeff has left the room.

Well, I just think she's
too young. That's all.

Darling, it isn't as if
you didn't know the boy.

You've always been
very fond of Herbie.

But that was before
he went to college.

Well, Daddy, it
isn't Herbie exactly.

It's his roommate.

Oh? How do you mean?

Well, you see, Herbie
already has a date.

He's just trying to fix it up
for his roommate and me.

Oh, no, no blind dates,
absolutely, no blind dates.

Why not?

Darling, why not? You've
been on blind dates.

There's nothing wrong with them.

I'm not a child,
you know, Mother.

Well, I'll have to talk
it over with your father.

Well, here he is. Talk it over.

Well, I prefer to
discuss it with him alone.

All right. I'll leave the room

and count to 50
before I come back.

It may take more than 50.

Oh, Mother, please, hurry. I
have to give Herbie an answer.

Yes, dear.

What's up?

Oh, Mother is being
a little ridiculous.

You mean she won't
let you go to the dance?

What a shame.

Isn't that awful?

You can't expect to keep
Mary on your apron strings

all your life.

I know, but...

Well?

But she's so young.

Well... Maybe, I better
have a talk with her.

Well, I'd supposed you'd had
a talk with her a long time ago.

Oh, I did naturally only...

Well, she was so
much younger then.

Honey, why don't you
have a talk with her?

Me?

Yes, you're her
father, aren't you?

I guess I am.

All right. Send her down.
I'll have a talk with her.

Hey, Mary! Dad
wants to talk to you.

Yes, Daddy?

Mary, I've always had the
greatest confidence in you.

You've... you've
always been a fine girl.

Well, I've always had
confidence in you, too, Daddy.

Thank you.

- Mary?
- Yes, Daddy?

You see, Mary, you're
getting older and...

And... well, of course, so am I.

Is that what you wanted
to talk to me about?

No.

Well, I mean, yes, in a way.

You see, boys grow up.

You take Herbie, for example.

He's a boy you
knew in high school.

Yes.

Well, boys graduate
from high school

and they go on to college

and they're not boys any longer.

They're men.

Well, practically, anyway.

And that makes a difference.

You know what I mean?

You mean, boys become young men.

That's it, exactly.

And young men become old men.

Well, I don't think we
have to carry that far.

- Mary?
- Yes, Daddy.

You see, in life,
there are certain rules,

rules that everybody
has to obey.

Well, like in a golf game.

Yes, yes, like, for
example, this afternoon,

I used a number 9 arm for
an approach on the 13th green

and I got a par.

If I'd used it at number 5, it
would have been all wrong.

Oh, well, you played
very good golf, Daddy.

Not as good as I should be.

- I get too much loft from a tee.
- You do?

Too much backswing, I think.

Mary... or maybe,
I'm teeing up too high.

Oh, I love to watch
you play golf, Daddy.

I wish you teach me.

I'd like to.

You know, we could
enter one of those

father-daughter tournaments.

- Oh, that would be wonderful.
- It's a deal.

We'll go out one day next week.

Okay.

Well, have you two
had your little talk?

Uh-huh.

Yes, I think we
understand each other,

- don't we, honey?
- Uh-huh.

Then I can go to the dance?

Well, I don't know how
you'd get there, dear.

I hate to have you ride all
that way alone on a train.

But Mother, people
ride on trains every day.

I know, but...

Mother, you're treating
me just like an infant.

Oh, all right. I won't
go to the dance.

Mary, wait.

Your father and I
have a wonderful idea.

We have?

Well, we'll drive you
there and drive you back.

You mean, you're coming with me?

Honey, that's 300 miles

and we've got a million
things to do this weekend.

- Oh, we can do them
some other time.
- You said yourself...

But Mother...

And we haven't been
back to a homecoming

since you graduated
and you need the rest.

You know you do.

You think it would be a rest?

Well, I think it's a
perfectly awful idea.

I'll be the only
girl at the dance

whose parents will be there.

Oh, darling. We
won't be at the dance.

But Mother... And that's
the whole idea of a college.

The whole fun getting
away from your family.

Who's getting away
from the family?

Oh, well, Daddy and I were
just talking about driving up

to State college
for next weekend.

Oh, great. Who
they're playing, Dad?

Not you, dear.

You mean, you're all going to go

and you're going
to leave me behind?

Now wait.

Well, that's a dirty jip.

Mary gets to do everything
and I can't do anything.

Now, don't start that again.

Well, I'm nobody around here.

All I ever do is mow
lawns and stuff like that.

Jeff, you just listen.

Now, we've decided that if
you're a good sport about this,

we'll let you accept
Eddie's invitation

to spend the weekend with him.

Who wants to camp out in a tent?

But you've been
begging all morning.

In some darn old
backyard, that's kid stuff.

Everybody gets
to have fun but me.

Alex, are you just
going to stand there?

Jeff, old man,

one thing you've got to learn.

You can't always
expect things to work out

the way you want them to.

You can't always
have your own way,

unless you're a woman.

Where are we?

We just passed South Granger.

Is that all?

Well, don't look at me.

Not that shortcut off the main
highway would save us 20 miles.

Nobody's blaming you, dear.

I'm not a psychic.

I didn't know
there'd be a detour.

Well, of course not.

And when we finally did
get back on the main road,

you made that wrong turn,

well, that could
happen to anybody.

Oh, we're going to
be late. I can just tell.

Everything is going wrong.

Now, Mary...

Oh, don't worry about a
thing. I'll make up for lost time.

We'll be there
right on schedule.

Alex?

Yeah?

The speed limit is
60 miles an hour.

I know, dear.

You're going 68.

Honey, don't worry about it.

It's an unwritten law.

You can go 10 miles an
hour more than the speed limit.

Everybody knows that.

Here comes somebody who doesn't.

Be with you in a minute, honey.

Well, nothing has changed a bit.

Oh, stop fussing, Mary.

Mother, I feel so icky.

We'll fix that when
we get upstairs.

You know, I haven't
been here for years,

but I swear,

even the boys are the same.

Sit down, honey.

Hey, man, how's it going?

Well, like, you know,
everything is under control.

Who is the chick? She is wild.

Oh, a friend of the family,
man. Meet Betty Smith.

You're not the Betty Smith.

That's the one.

You know, when I
woke up this morning,

I never realized
that this would be

the most important
day in my life

and this is your
lucky day, too, baby.

Wow, you're way
out, like, the most.

I can see that you dig me.

Can I drop you somewhere?

Yeah, like you can
drop her right here.

Oh, you can get
lost now, buster.

I've got a little sports car.

A sports car?

Man, like, the most.

We'll just drive into
the golden sunset

and leave the rest
of the world behind.

Okay, now, come on,
you can knock it off, now.

This chick has spoken for it.

- I guess we're all set.
- Oh...

- Shall we?
- Good.

Say, chick, do you feel
somebody following us?

Yes, I do.

Mary?

Oh.

I'm just as glad we came, dear.

But darling, it isn't too young.

You'll be the prettiest
girl at the dance.

Honey, you look very sweet.

Doesn't she, dear?

What's that?

I said doesn't Mary look sweet?

She certainly does.

Oh, I look sweet, all right.

Everybody is going to know
I'm only in high school, Mother.

I don't see why you wouldn't
let me stay at the dormitory

with the rest of the girls.

But darling, as long as we
were coming here anyway...

You weren't coming here anyway.

You came on purpose.

Oh, that's him.

Honey, you're all ready.

I haven't even had the time

to think of what I'm
going to say, Mother.

Mary, be calm.

Oh, hello, Herbie.

How nice to see you again.

It's nice to see
you, Mrs. Stone.

Good to see you, Herbie.

Oh, it's good to see you, sir.

Oh, Herbie, thank goodness.

Hi. How have you been, Mary?

Just fine. Thank you, Herbie.

How have you been?

Oh, just fine.

Well, that's fine.

Would you like to
sit down, Herbie?

Yes?

If we can find a
place to sit down.

Oh, well...

Well, that's okay.
We have to be going.

My roommate will be right
up. He's parking the car.

Well, where are
you off to tonight?

Well, the dance is at
the Sigma Delta House,

but we'll be going
out to dinner first.

I guess I should explain
about this weekend.

It's kind of a mixed up thing.

You see, I sort of had this
date I couldn't get out of.

That's all right, Herbie.
You don't have to explain.

But you'll like Stan.
Girls usually do.

He's...

Well, he's sort of a character.

I like characters.

I guess that's him now. Shall I?

Please.

Okay, man. I'm all set.

How about the chick?

Stan, this is Mary Stone.

Mary, Stan Devereaux.

Not the Mary Stone.

How do you do?

Stan, uh, Stan,
these are her parents.

Parents?

Parents?

Dr. and Mrs. Stone.

Oh

- How do you do?
- Hello.

The pleasure is all mine.

A little token of my esteem.

My goodness, flowers.

Oh, they're beautiful.

Look, Mother, orchids.

Orchids?

What time are we picking
up that chick of yours?

She's probably waiting now.

I hope so.

I made reservations
for 6:30 at Parelli's.

Parelli's?

That's 30 miles.

I can make it in a half an hour.

Well, shall we make
the restaurant scene?

Wait, Mary.

You won't stay out too late?

No, Mother.

This is her first college dance.

Don't you worry about
a thing, Mrs. Stone.

You let my mother worry.

Have fun.

Oh, that I can guarantee.

Goodnight.

- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.

Herbie...

Well, never mind.

- Goodnight, Herbie.
- Goodnight, sir.

Mary, come back here.

What, Mother?

- Honey, take my stole.
- Well, I don't want it.

It may get chilly.

Oh, please, Mother.

I don't want to look
like a Whistler's mother.

Darling, It's customary
to close the door.

I understand you
have a sports car.

Oh, it's a wild heap,

but you dig the sports car bit?

I adore it.

Oh, well, baby,

I can see that you
and I are going to make

beautiful music together.

We'll just drive into
the golden sunset

and leave the rest
of the world behind.

Then, it's the most.

Darling, now, stop
worrying. Boys will be boys.

That's just why I'm worried.

Stan, why did we stop dancing?

Sometimes, sitting
one out can be more fun.

Well, I'd rather dance.

Why?

Because...

Well, just because.

Oh, no, that's not a reason.

She doesn't have
to have a reason.

Oh, now, look boy
scout, can't you just...

Mary, would you like
to powder your nose?

I'd love to.

Hey, I thought
you were my friend.

What do you mean?

Oh, this Mary...

She's a nice girl.

Sure is, what do you mean?

Too nice.

She doesn't get the message.

Maybe, your problem is
she goes get the message.

Oh... Oh, listen, friend.

My line has been
thoroughly tested.

I haven't met a girl yet.

Maybe, you've met her.

That little pigeon?

Would you like to bet?

You know, Stan is complaining
because he's a losing his grip.

Your line isn't
working anymore, huh?

Hey, listen, man.

He's finally met a girl he
can't get to first base with.

Is that a challenge?

It's a statement of fact.

Okay, gentlemen.

You just watch.

Just watch.

I don't know why you
insisted on taking a walk.

We could have gone to a movie.

Oh, now stop complaining, dear.

The exercise will
do us both good.

No, I'll exercise just
as well sitting down.

Honey, look, where we are?
It's the Sigma Delta house.

Oh... So, it is.

And we arrived here
quite by accident.

Oh, now, darling,
you don't think...

Oh, yes, I do.

Now, come on.
Let's get out here.

You know how Mary will feel

if she thinks she's
being spied on.

Oh, no, darling.

- I just wanted to get
a glimpse of her dancing.
- Come on.

Stan, why do we
keep coming out here?

There is something
I want to show you.

Oh?

Right over here.

- You see that fountain?
- Uh-huh.

There's quite a
tradition behind that.

There is?

That fountain was placed
here centuries ago by the druids,

and the druids
cast a spell on it.

They did?

Any girl who refuses to
kiss a guy at the fountain

will instantly return to clay.

Now, I wouldn't want
you to turn to clay, Mary.

You know what? Stan,
I don't believe in druids.

Well, you only live
once, don't you?

What harm does one
little kiss going to do?

Well, I just don't think
it would prove anything.

Prove anything?

A kiss got to prove something?

Oh, come on, baby.

You and I were
meant for each other.

But Stan, you seem to be
trying to prove something.

Well, I don't get you.

Well, you seem to be
trying to prove to yourself

you're attractive by...

well, by making a pass
at every girl you meet.

What you need is...

Well, more self-confidence.

- More self-confidence?
- Uh-huh.

Oh, boy.

You're the first girl
who ever told me that.

Oh, it's true.

You... you are attractive, Stan,

or you would be

if you didn't go around
acting like this, but...

Well, you need to...
believe in yourself more.

You know something, don't you?

You're the darndest
girl I ever met.

Well, I got to hand it to you.

You're the first one that
ever talked me out of it.

Now, let's go in
and dance, shall we?

- Okay.
- Okay.

Someone must have
dropped their stole.

Oh, I wonder whose...

Stan, I've changed my mind.

What do you mean?

You're right. We only live once.

Now, you're talking.

- We were made for each other.
- Sure, that's what I was saying.

We can elope right
after the dance.

- Elope? Oh...
- Oh, sure.

A lot of people get
married at our age.

- I'm sure our parents
will approve.
- Well, but I don't...

Now, you bring your
car around to the inn

and I'll pack a bag and
be ready in 15 minutes.

- Let's not even wait.
- Now, hold it. You have the wrong idea.

Now, we both have
to give up school,

but well, at least
we'll have each other.

Oh, no, we won't because
I'm going back inside.

Here's your stole, Mother.

Don't wait up.

Thank you very much.
I've had a lovely evening.

Goodnight, Roger.

You're not still up?

Uh-huh.

Your mother has something
she wants to say to you.

I want to apologize for Daddy
and me being there tonight.

It was my fault.

We weren't spying on you.

We have complete
confidence in you

and trust you without question.

Then, you're not going to ask
me where I've been until 1:30?

No.

As your mother
says, we trust you.

Well, since you're not
asking me, I'll tell you.

A bunch of us sat out on the
steps of the chemistry building

and talked.

What in the world did you
find to talk about all that time?

Parents mostly.

Goodnight.