The Cosby Show (1984–1992): Season 8, Episode 24 - And So, We Commence - full transcript

♪♪ [theme]

♪

Ha ha ha!

Clair! Clair!

Come here! Yes.

Come here. I fixed
it. I fixed the bell.

Not again. Dear. I swear.

I fixed it. Come here.

Today is Theo's graduation day.

We don't have time for this.

I know that this
is a big day. Right.



Now, do me a favor.

Go outside and
ring the doorbell.

Come on. Come on.

Wait till you hear this!

Wait till you hear this.

Go ahead. Go ahead.

♪♪♪

[buzzing] Aah!

Oh, no. What happened?

Oh, wait! No, no,
dear. Come down!

Look, you didn't...
Goin' around here,

endangering peoples'
lives? Go back! Go back!

You didn't push it right!

Come down off that ladder
and leave that bell alone.



Hey, Mom! How you doin'? Hey!

Hey, Dad. How you doing?

Oh, my graduating
from college baby!

Hey, listen. Go out
and push the doorbell.

No.

What's all the luggage for, man?

You're not moving
back in here, are you?

No, Dad. It's just that
you're closer to the airport,

and it's easier for Olivia and
me to leave in the morning.

Yes, that's right.
Singapore-bound!

Yes! Thanks to you

and your generous
graduation gift.

Well, I'm sure that
Denise and Martin

appreciate you
bringing Olivia to them.

No problem. I'm glad to do it.

Of course you are!

Mom, I have something for you

to wear for the ceremony. Voila.

Ooh, what a lovely
corsage. Thank you, Theo.

No problem. Look at that!

Beautiful.

That's... That's it?

Oh, no! No.

Well, I know!

Here we go. Yes.

Mom, here's another
corsage for you.

Oh, come on,
Dad. I'm just playin'.

Here you go.
Boutonniére for the big guy.

Thank you. Thank you.

Hers is bigger than mine.

I'll just put these
in the fridge. Yeah.

[phone rings]

Huxtable residence!

Vanessa? Listen.

You better get on
that train and get here,

or else you're gonna
miss Theo's graduation!

Dabnis? Yeah!
Tell him to come on!

He can come to the graduation!

Uh... Dad... Dad, Dad,
remember. Remember.

I told you that we don't
have any extra tickets.

Bring him!

This is your graduation, man.

Look, all I need
are four tickets.

Four more.

Because I have
your Uncle Thornhill,

Aunt Rosie, and Thornhill, Jr.,

and now Dabnis. Four tickets.

You don't get it, Dad, do you?

Yes, I do get it! You
don't understand!

You don't get it. This
is your graduation.

This is a special day.

Sa-dah!

Yo, Mom. Hey, what's up?

Mr. Pomp and Circumstance.
What's up, guys?

Ma, we're in trouble.
Dad's doing it.

It's gonna be
Princeton all over again.

Oh, no! He promised he wouldn't.

What happened at Princeton?

Sondra's graduation.

She had six tickets.
Dad invited 29 people.

And then he used his
"flash and flood" method.

What's that? He
flashed six tickets

in front of the usher's face,

and flooded 29 relatives
through the gate.

Only he got caught.

Yeah, and 23 of the flood
had to watch the graduation

from the roof of
the Bargain M Hotel.

But in his defense,
he did go out

and buy 'em all lawn chairs.

Yeah, the tiny
little beach kind.

Uncle Thornhill
threw his back out.

Ah! I need some more tickets.

I need some more...
Dad. No. Dad, Dad, please.

Please! Please!
Listen to me, Dad!

Remember? I told
you before. Yeah.

Each student in
NYU is only allowed

two tickets for
graduation. Understood.

Okay. Somehow able
to scrape up 10 more,

for a total of 12. Right.

12, Dad. Right.

So, so... No, no. Dad.

Huh? There are no more tickets.

That's it. That's
all I can do, man.

I just need six tickets. Six?

That's all I need. A
minute ago, you said four!

Yeah, I know, but Jeffrey
Ingles, he lives next door.

And his ex-wife.
They want to come.

The love... they remember
you when you were like this.

Man, they want to come.
This is a big moment! Dad.

Six tickets more.

Do you remember Princeton?

Of course I remember Princeton.

But the thing... Dad.

Please listen to me.
I'm listening to you.

There are no more tickets.

Look at me!

There are no... Look!

There are no more tickets.

You understand me?

Okay. No more, Dad.

Hey, Gary!

How you doing? It's, uh, Theo.

Listen. Is it true
that Professor Davis

gave you an
incomplete in Chemistry?

Ooh, that's really too bad.

But listen.

What are you gonna do
with your graduation tickets?

[knocking on door]

Come in! [door opens]

Well, just came up

to see how the packing's going.

Going to Singapore.

And, um...

this is all the packing
you've done so far?

I see.

Okay. That's all you're packing.

Well, how's everything going?

Good. I made you
something to remember me by.

You're kidding.
Oh, that's wonderful.

This is a map. A map! Yes. Okay.

In case you need to find me.

You're going to Singapore.

This is the United States,

and here's Singapore.

That's Singapore.

You see all this blue
here. Yeah, what is it?

That's water. Ah! I see.

Now what are all
these triangles?

Oh. Those are sharks.

Sharks!

Oh, boy!

I gave you something
to remember me by.

Yes. Thank you. Do you
have anything to give me

to remember you by?

Oh, boy. Oh, yes, I have.

I have something for you.

Really? But you see,

I hesitate to give it to you

because, um, you may not leave.

What do you mean?

You've seen people
who have tried to leave.

And... and they didn't leave.

Yeah. Scientists call
it a vacuum effect.

And this is where people

really try to leave this house,

but they keep getting
sucked back in.

You remember Uncle Elvin

and Aunt Sondra and the twins.

They tried to leave.

Victims of the vacuum effect.

They just kept
getting sucked back in

the whole time.

And my feeling is
that you've got to train

for this sort of thing.

You've got to get in shape

to fight that vacuum
because that vacuum sucks.

It pulls from behind.

Look, let me show
you what I mean.

Would you like to practice?

Why not? Let me show you.

Now, for instance,
this is your luggage.

I mean, it's going to have
more clothing than this, I hope.

See, now, for instance,

you're going to go to Singapore.

I'm going to go to Singapore!

All right. Now go...
Go for the door, see?

There's no vacuum.

But tomorrow there will be.

See? Now, I'm gonna be

the... the... the vacuum! Yeah?

Now you go on, go for the door.

Go for it! You see?

Woo! It's pulling.
Say Singapore.

Singapore! Singapore!

Singapore! Singapore!

Grab the door! Turn the knob!

Singapore... Turn the
knob! This is the tough part.

Singapore! Tomorrow!
We gotta go! Singapore!

So, Elaine, I hear
Chicago is socked in by fog.

But I'm sure your parents
probably flew in last night, right?

Oh. Wow. That's too bad.

Well, listen, do
you have any plans

for your graduation tickets?

Ah. Elaine, you're
wonderful. Thanks a bunch.

Mm-hm, bye.

Yes! Four down, two
to go. [doorbell rings]

[buzzing] Dang!

Hey, Kenny. What's up?

Hey.

Your dad's been working
on that doorbell again, huh?

Yeah, I guess he
has. Come on in.

Well, you look pretty sharp.

You got a big date tonight?

Good one, Theo.

Happy graduation.

Thanks, Kenny.

So. We've got good
seats for the ceremony?

Well, actually, Kenny,
there's a slight problem.

The tickets are kind of limited.

Hmm. I can understand that.

Anyone who's not family
shouldn't be coming with us.

That's what I told your father

when we went
over the guest list.

Open the gift.

Okay. Um...

Wow. Tube socks.

Six pairs.

Actually, uh, five.

Gee, Kenny. I... I
don't know what to say.

Well, it's the least I can do.

You're the brother I never had.

Yo, Kenny. You
have a brother, man.

Come on, Theo.

I'll get some tape and
cover that doorbell.

You don't want any legal action

on your special day.

Huh. Thanks.

Dad, Dad, come here.
I need to talk to you.

Tickets, Dad. Mm-hm.

Why did you invite Kenny?

Kenny's like your...
Your sisters, your mother.

I mean, you're the
brother he's never had.

All right, Dad.

You promised me

that you were not going
to invite any more people.

Look. You don't
want Kenny to come?

Then uninvite him.

The boy gave me tube socks!

I cannot uninvite him!

Well, then get him a ticket!

All right, Dad.

You need three tickets,

I'll get you those
three tickets.

But just promise
me no more people

and no beach chairs
on the roofs of motels.

If they ask me, they're coming.

Beach chairs or not!

[humming]

Aha!

Memento! Hello there.

Yes, how you doin'?

I'm fine. What are you doing?

Uh, I promised I
would give Olivia

a present from my heart.

Oh! So what did
you come up with?

Well, I got a... a penlight.

I'm so moved.

No, see, to you,
this is just a penlight.

But you don't even know
what this symbolizes.

Now, what does it
symbolize, honey?

Let me see what
this symbolizes...

This symbolizes
Layton Pharmaceuticals.

Thank you for your order.

See, to... to a
person like you, this...

This means
nothing. But... but...

But to a child, this
is a world of magic.

Um, the lights are out
in... In her little bedroom,

and... and she wants
to read, so she hits this,

and she just reads with that.

Or... Or

you could have friends
all the way in Singapore.

You could signal the
sharks or something.

What has that
got to do with you?

I... I don't know.

But, uh, I will
think of something.

Now, what is your
problem with the truth?

You know, children
actually like it

when you tell them the truth.

You should try it sometimes.

Um, that's absolutely correct.

However, do... do you realize

that imagination
is more important

than knowledge?

You know who said that?

Albert Einstein.

Cliff, listen to yourself.

Do you know who said that?

Clair Huxtable.

Yoo-hoo! Anybody home?

Well, hello there!

What are you two doing here?

[kisses]

We came to see
Uncle Theo graduate.

Oh, that's so sweet.

And that's your dress?

Oh, no. No, honey.

This is what Theo's
wearing to the graduation.

He's wearing a dress?

Umm... no, darling.

This is a graduation
gown, and all the graduates,

everybody who graduates,

gets to wear one of these
and one of these caps.

Why? Because it's tradition.

Why? Because! When, um,

Uh, a long time ago,

when people used
to live in castles,

all the smart people who
went to school to learn things

used to dress
like this every day.

Well, why does it look so funny?

Yeah, why?

Because when you learn,
you work up an appetite.

So?

So. When, um...

um, the lord and lady
students would get hungry,

they would come
out of ye olde library

and take a seat in
front of the steps,

one in front of the other,

and they would use
each other's hats

as snack tables.

Snack tables? Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. They used to
eat little tiny medieval

cheese sandwiches, you see?

What's this thing for?

Oh, this is called
a tassel, you see.

Now, when you finish
your cheese sandwich,

you take this tassel
and wipe the crumbs off.

Wow! Yeah! See?

You learned
something, didn't you?

I bet you worked up an appetite.

Why don't you go downstairs and
get yourselves something to eat?

Okay.

Cliff, what are you doing?

I'm searching for the truth.

Give me that
penlight. No, I'm not!

I gotta find my snack table.

Give me that... Relax.

Excuse me. Everybody's here.

Even Dabnis.

Oh, okay. Tell 'em
we'll be right down.

Okay.

Now, now,

what is the feeling
between the two of us

about Dabnis and Vanessa?

We're confused.
Absolutely. Absolutely.

Please.

Oh, Grandma.
Thank you for coming.

Hey, Grandpa. Ah.

Theo. Congratulations.

Little something for
you. Keep it to yourself.

Hey! Thanks, Grandpa!

I told you to put
that in an envelope.

Hey, Grandma.
Honestly. I don't mind.

Hey! My mother-in-law!
Hello there!

My mother-in-law! [laughing]

All right! How are you?

Mmmm!

Woo-hoo! What's happening,
Dad? How you doin'?

Nice to see you. Yeah.

A little something for
you, too. Oh. For me?

Yeah. Keep it to yourself.

He gave me a quarter.

The man gave me a quarter. Al...

It's walkin'-around
money. It's my son-in-law.

Get outta here. The
man gave me a quarter.

But I'm not embarrassed.

No, you will not
get it back. Yeah.

Dr. Huxtable. Hi, Daddy.

Dabnis. Yes, sir.

Dabnis. Dabnis. Dabnis. Dabnis.

How are you, sir? Hi, Dad.

Dabnis.

How are you, Vanessa?

Huh. We're just friends, okay?

Well, aren't we all?

No, I'm serious, everybody.

We are just friends.

Well, friends, lunch is
served in the dining room.

Dabnis. Yes, sir.

Dabnis. Grandpa Al!

Dr. Elvin! Good to see
you. Good to see you again.

All right.

Guess I'll keep it to myself.

Uh, Mom?

Uh, listen.

I don't wanna put a damper

on an otherwise happy occasion,

but could you do
something about Dad?

What?

He's drivin' me up the
wall with these tickets.

Oh, come on, Theo.

You dad is just being your dad.

Yeah, but today he's
being more Dad than ever.

I mean, I was in the back
yard, five minutes ago,

and he was hosing
down the beach chairs.

Theo.

Try to understand this, son.

The frenzy that you
think your father is in

is not the frenzy that he's in.

Well, what kind
of frenzy is he in?

[chuckling] Well, it started 21
years ago, when you were born.

Just like he promised
Sondra and Denise,

he promised you an education.

And he hoped you
would have the same love

for learning that he has.

But, sweetheart,
you were a long shot.

There were times we weren't sure

whether you'd make
it out of high school.

I guess I did put a
scare into you, huh?

Yes, you did.

Well, thank goodness,
you made it to college,

and we found out about
your learning difference.

Now, see, somebody
else would have used that

as an excuse to just give up.

But you did the opposite.

And look at you today.

So how can you expect

your father to contain himself?

I can't contain myself.

And why should I?

My baby's graduating
from college.

See, when your father
graduated from Hillman,

they called his name.

He walked across the stage,

accepted his diploma
in his left hand,

shook hands with his right.

Then he proceeded to hug
every person on the dais,

including the ushers.

He held up the ceremony
for seven minutes.

[phone rings]

Dad sure knows
how to celebrate, huh?

Yes, he does. And especially
when it comes to learning.

Mom, Theo, Denise
is on the phone,

and she wants to
talk to everybody.

Come on, sweetie.

Singapore sweetheart!
How's the lieutenant doing?

Huh? Protecting the country?

Denise! Oh, honey, hi!

Oh, listen. Yes. I'm
not gonna talk long

'cause I know you
wanna talk to Theo,

and wish him congratulations.

What?

[gasps] My baby!

What?

My baby's havin' a baby.

[cheering, chatter]

Denise. She's
having another baby.

Hi, Aunt Denise! It's me!

We're having a baby!

Now don't let it be
born until I get there.

Okay, Denise.

He's right here. Bye, Denise.

Bye, baby!

Sorry, Dad. Hey, Denise!

How you doin'? [laughs]

Uncle Theo here.

Yeah, well,
congratulations to you, too.

I'll see you tomorrow.

[laughing] All right.

Denise, honey.

Yes, listen to your
Grandma Carrie.

Sit down as much as you can now

because you will
never sit down again.

Never.

And if Martin starts
to get on your nerves,

and that smile you
used to think was so sexy

now looks stupid,
don't tell him.

It'll pass, most likely.

Tell her, Grandma.

Yeah. Excuse me, son.

Hey, Denise. Now listen.

This is very important advice.

Don't ever call anybody ugly

'cause the baby will
look just like them.

[laughing]

Now you get yourself
some rest. Bye!

She needs her rest.

Grandpa, we're ready.

All right. Yeah, let's go!

Come here. Come
here. Both of you.

Stand right here. All right.

Now you know we're going out.

We're going out
to a big graduation.

Big celebration,
right? All right.

Now, there are certain things

I don't want you to
say out loud anymore.

Now, what was it that
you said to that man?

Remember?

What did you say?

Ooh, look. that man has
hair growing out of ears.

Correct. If you see hair
growing out of the ears,

let it grow. You don't
have to tell the man about it.

All right?

Now. For you.

You don't say out loud,

the way you did
the last time, what?

Oh, that lady's old! Yeah.

But that... that isn't nice.

And I want you to understand

that we cannot
spend the afternoon

picking you up and
taking you to the bathroom.

Now do you have to go now?

Hammer time!

Now go on out. Go on out.

Hammer out! Hammer out.

Well, son, I know
this is your big day.

Yeah, Dad.

First the daughter graduates,

and now the son.

Oh, boy.

And we're all proud of your son.

Well, Dad, I'm proud of
myself, thank you very much.

But as we all know,
son, you have a tendency

to get a little exuberant
at these functions.

Yeah, well, Dad, I
would never do anything

to embarrass the family.

Confetti, son?

Oh, yeah. Well, you know.

When they say graduation,
you just throw a little...

Now, isn't this the thing
that you used at Princeton?

[little honk] Yeah. It's a...

It's a crowd control,
you see. It's a...

Well, you just
control yourself, son.

Okay.

I need to control myself?

A grown man living
in my own house.

[Russell] What was that, son?

Nothing, sir.

Sweetheart, are
you wearing a slip?

Grandma!

All right, everybody!
Let's pull the wagons out!

I got a man holding
the seats for us!

Yeah. But, Cousin Cliff,
we're still short three tickets!

That's all right. I got
beach chairs here!

[All, moaning] Oh, no.

Dad, look. Oh,
no. Wait a minute.

We're short three tickets.

Elvin and I will stay
here. That makes two.

No, no. I'm the extra man. I
won't go. That makes three.

I can't let you do that, honey.

Honey?

[both] We're just friends.

You and I will stay.
Sondra, you go.

No, no, no, no, no,
no. What is this?

Everybody's quitting?

Dad, we do not
have enough tickets.

I understand that.

So. This is all of a sudden

reminding you all of what?

Princeton! Princeton!

And as far as you
are all concerned,

some horrible things happened.

What were they?

The security guard.
The tow truck.

The Doberman. It was
a German Shepard.

See, that's how much
you people remember!

Now, we're going
to a graduation!

And I will tell you I don't know

what's going to happen
at this graduation,

but I'll bet you it
will be something

that you will never forget.

You got that right, son.

All right. You people
do what you want.

I'm goin' on ahead. You
do what you want to do.

We wanted the chairs.

Yeah, I'll take one, too, Dad.

Give me one of those. Thank you.

All right. Now. Binoculars?

Everybody raise your binoculars.

All right. Down. Cameras up!

And down! All right!

Let's head out... oh, wait.

The guest of honor. Theo!

Theo!

[cheering]

How you all doin'?

Hey! Beach chairs.

Yes.

Why not?

That's right. Okay.

Oh. Excuse me. One side.

Let the man through.

Theo, three tickets.

That's the best I could do.

Yo, Kenny, man.
This is unbelievable.

Where'd you get these?

My brother. Your brother?

Yeah!

My brother says

that if you can't do
something nice for a neighbor,

don't bother living next door.

All right, Bud.

All right, move it,
everybody! Quickly!

Come on! Out of here!

Come on. Hurry up. Hurry up.

Now you know
the car's you're in.

You know the cars
you're in. Come on.

Come on, you two. Come on.

We're coming.

Now make sure
the '92 shows. Okay.

You're ready. Thank you.

Let me see you.
Hit it. Hit a spin.

Hit a spin...
[laughing] Hit a spin.

Oh, boy, oh, boy.

Hey, Dad. Thanks
for everything...

Go ahead. Thank
you. Your three tickets.

Get in the car and leave
room for your mother.

Huh? All right.

Here we go again. Yes.

Here we go again.
Yes... oh, oh, oh.

Honey, what are you doing?

Just in case. Just in case. Oh.

Excuse me. Could you move
down? No, I'm sorry, brother.

These seats are reserved.

[cheering]

Mrs. Huxtable, Dr. Huxtable.

I saved two prime seats for
you, right here in the middle.

And may I say, my
Lance is very territorial

on your behalf.

Oh, Lance! [laughing]

Anybody seen Theo?

Left side of the park.
46th row. 18th man in.

I got him!

[Announcer] You are the leaders

of the next millennium.

You can choose to
live at the expense of...

You hear that?

The next millennium.

Our son and daughters.

[Cliff] Theo?

Yo!

Hard to get good help, isn't it?

Uh, son?

Your mother asked
me to come up here

and kill you.

Hey. I know.

You know what?

What you're gonna say.

And it's under control. So...

No problem. No problem.

Right. Right.

How do you expect
to get into college

with grades like this?

No problem. Huh?

See, I'm not going to college.

Damn right.

I am gonna get
through high school

and then get a job
like regular people.

Regular people?

Yeah, you know. Who
work in the gas station.

Drive a bus.
Something like that.

So what you're
saying is, your...

Your mother and I
shouldn't care if you get D's

because you don't
need good grades

to be regular people.

Right!

Okay. Oh... Suppose...

you graduate from high school.

Let's say you just slide by.

All right. Now, you've
got to find a job.

Now, what kind of
salary do you expect

for a regular person?

Mm...$250 a week.

$250 a week? Yeah.

Sit down. I...

I'm going to give you
$300 a week. Yes, indeed.

$300 a week. $1,200 a month.

All right? Great! I'll take it.

Yes, you will. And I will take

$350 for taxes.

Whoa! Huh? Yeah.

Now, now, uh, because, see,

the government comes
for the regular people first.

Now, how much... how much
does that leave you with?

$850.

All right.

Now you've got to
have an apartment

because you are
not going to live here.

So an apartment in Manhattan

will run you at
least $400 a month.

I'll live in New Jersey.

All right.

You live in New Jersey,
you've gotta have a car.

I'll ride a motorbike.

You need a helmet.

Figure 100 a month for...

clothes and shoes.

Figure $200. I
want to look good.

Okay, so what does
that leave you with?

$200.

So no problem.

There is a problem.
You haven't eaten yet!

I can get by on
bologna and cereal.

So I got everything I need,

plus $200 left for the month.

You plan to have a girlfriend?

For sure.

Regular people.

[Vanessa] Denise?
Denise, open this door!

Vanessa! Open this door!

Vanessa!

Vanessa!

Come here.

Come here.

Here. Here. Here!

See, there is there.

This is here. Come here.

Dad, Denise pushed
us out of the bathroom,

and so the shampoo
is in Rudy's eyes,

and she wouldn't
let me rinse it off

like Mom said to,

and now Rudy might
be blinded for life!

If she is, can we get a dog?

Dad, I thought
about what you said.

And I see your point.

Thank you. Thank you.

But I have a point, too.

Make your point.

You're a doctor,
and Mom's a lawyer.

And you're both
successful and everything,

and that's great.

But maybe I was born
to be a regular person

and have a regular life.

If you weren't a doctor,
I wouldn't love you less,

because you're my dad.

And so... instead of
acting disappointed

because I'm not like you...

maybe you can
just accept who I am

and love me anyway...

because I'm your son.

Theo...

that's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard in my life!

It's no wonder you
get D's in everything!

Now, you are afraid to try

because you're
afraid that your brain

is going to explode,

and it's gonna ooze
out of your ears.

Now I'm telling you,

you are going to try
as hard as you can!

And you're gonna do
it because I said so!

I am your father!

I brought you in this world,

and I'll take you out.

Now, son?

Come here.

Come here.

Now listen to me.

I just want you to
do the best you can.

That's all.

I'll try, Dad. Yeah.

I really will. All right.

I love you. Yeah, Dad.

Huh? I know.

Yeah!

And maybe... your
mother loves you, too.

[Announcer] All candidates

for the Bachelor
of Science degree,

Department of Psychology,

please stand. Yes!

[Announcer] Please be seated.

All candidates for
the Bachelor of Arts...

What happened?

Theo just graduated, dear!

[applause]

What do you mean,
he just graduated?

They stood up,
and then she said,

"Please be seated."

Well, yes! That's what you do

when you have 8,000 graduates.

Dear, when... when we graduated,

what did they say?

They didn't say,
"Stand and sit down."

I mean, what do you get if
you go to graduate school?

Jumping jacks?

Cliff, please. With
8,000 graduates,

if they called everybody's name,

we'd be here till
tomorrow night!

I would love to hear
my son's name out there!

Dear, we spent
close to $100,000.

They didn't say, "Everybody
stand, and be seated."

They said, individually,
"Sign your check."

Hey, Dad.

When I graduated, what happened?

I stood up, didn't I?

And they called my
name. Remember, Mom?

And I walked up. And
what did I do, honey?

You were there! Yes,
I know what you did.

You shook hands with
everybody. Of course!

Then you hugged
everybody on the dais.

Yeah! And what did my father do?

My father came up on the stage

and walked with
me. Didn't you, Dad?

Yes, I did. Didn't you?
And my father said,

"This is my diploma as well
as it is my son's diploma."

Yes? We're gonna go now.

We're gonna go sit in the car.

Really? It's over? Yes.

It's over, Cliff.

There's nothing else?
There's nothing else.

Just stand up and sit
down? That's it, darling.

All right. I've graduated.

I'm going to graduate again!

I'm going to teacher's college!

There you go.
Great day. Great day.

College graduate, huh?

Cliff. Now we're on for
dinner next Thursday night.

Let's make it Wednesday.

Why wait so long?

But still at 8:00? 8:00!

Ha ha! You got it.

Take care now.
Where'd your wife go?

She left you? There she is.

All right. Hi, baby.

Hey, guys.

[Cliff] All right!

Everything all right? Yeah.

College boy. There's a...

graduation party
or two out there

with my name on it.

Well, go forth and
graduatith party.

You got it. Go ahead.

You guys, thanks
a lot. All right.

You don't need anything,
do you? No, I'm cool.

All right. Good night, son.

Did you go in my
pocket upstairs?

Not at all. Now, don't
wait up for me, okay?

All right. All right.

I'll be back kinda late.

[door closes] Well...

I love days like this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

'Cause I like to see you smile.

Yeah.

Yeah! And you
never smile as much

as on days like this.

Yeah! Yeah.

And I got something
to make you smile.

Really?

You better believe it.

First we need a
little mood lighting.

I'm smiling so far.

Now...

I want you to go outside

and ring the doorbell.

No, I'm serious,
honey! [laughing]

I fixed the doorbell! Aw...

And you will smile. When
you hear it, you will smile.

Honest! I don't think so.

[laughing]

Okay. I'll go out,

and I'll ring the
doorbell myself.

Yes. And I will dial 911.

No! No, it works now!

And it works the
way I want it to work.

Uh-huh. All right.
You think I'm kidding.

All right? There you go!

♪♪ [doorbell plays slow jazz]

Ooh, Lawd.

[soft chatter]

Dad I have
something to tell you.

[Cliff] Just finished working

18 hours in the hospital.

I delivered over 8,000 babies.

[audience laughs]

It's an earring, Dad.

Have you been tagged
by the Wildlife Society?

We're here to say good-bye

to Lamont Goldfish.

I always felt safe
with him around.

♪ You know the night time ♪

♪ Night and day ♪

♪ Is the right time ♪

♪ Night and day ♪

♪ To be ♪

♪ Night and day ♪

♪ With the one you love now ♪

♪ Night and day, night and day ♪

Whoa, sing your song, my baby.

♪ Baby ♪

♪ Night and day ♪

♪ Baby! ♪

♪ Night and day ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Night and day ♪

♪ Well, there you go ♪

♪ Night and day ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

This is women's stuff.

I think I need Mom for this one.

I'm a gynecologist. You
want to talk to a lawyer.

Mom! Dad!

Oh, it's so good to be home!

I'm engaged. To do what?

To be married! Whoa...

Grandparent.

We're almost there,
honey. We're almost there.

What do you mean, "we"?

Congratulations. You
are the grandparents

of a healthy boy.

[screaming]

And a girl. What?

Twins? Two babies?

I only hope that I can do

as good a job with my children

as you've done with yours.

It's not every day
a man gets to meet

the parents of the
woman he married.

Mom... I'm a mom!

Kitchen.

[Cliff] You don't realize
how hard we're worked

to try to get all
of these children

out of this house.

And I'm not leaving here.

If you want to go, fine.

The 22 years I've
been married to you

have been the happiest
one day at a time

I've ever had in my life.

♪♪ [theme]

Closed-Captioning By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA