The Cosby Show (1984–1992): Season 7, Episode 24 - Theo and the Kids: Part 1 - full transcript
Cliff attempts to fix the kitchen sink. Theo starts a volunteer job as an intern at a community center. He helps children with their homework and craft activities after school. He realizes one student has studying problems just like he had.
♪♪
Good morning.
Good morning, Mom. Hey, Mom.
Rudy and I made
breakfast for everybody.
Oh, great. So,
um, all I have to do
is get some water for tea.
Uh-oh. You know what that means.
Yep. Dad's gonna
get out his tool belt,
the pipes are gonna be all...
No, he's not. Your father's
not gonna touch that sink.
Mom, if he hears
it, there's no way
you can stop
him. If he hears it.
He's not going to hear it.
We're gonna have to
keep him from hearing it
until I get a plumber over here.
All right. Okay?
Good morning.
Good morning, love.
Hey, Dad.
Oh, good morning.
What are you doing?
I am going to have
a nice glass of water, you see.
Let me get that for you.
But, dear, I don't
want any kettle water.
It's all from the same tap, Dad.
Well, did you think I think it
was coming from the well?
It's all H2O.
Low in cholesterol.
Yo! What's up? Hey.
Good morning.
Hey, big brother.
Come to see me off?
Uh, nope. I want you to have
a safe trip and everything,
but I actually came
over to pick up
a new jacket for my first day.
Your clothes are not here.
Come on, Dad.
So did orientation go okay?
Oh, great. Orientation
went so well, in fact,
I think this new job's
gonna be a cinch.
Job?
You... You got a...
Yes. A job. It's part
of his internship from school.
Come on, Cliff, you know that.
You have a job.
Dad, come on. You know
internships don't pay.
Well, then it's not a job.
Well, I haven't heard about it.
Because it's not a job.
Rudy, you're looking
at the new seventh
grade junior counselor
at Benjamin Banneker
Community Center. You?
Yeah. I'll be working in
a after-school program
with kids your age,
as a matter of fact.
Do they know who
they're getting?
Rudy, your brother's a
very responsible person.
Responsible? The same guy
who was gonna move to New
Jersey with Monopoly money.
If you don't mind, that
happened a long time ago.
And your brother's
more than made up for it.
He has a job now,
and that doesn't pay
any real money, either.
But... But, Dad,
this is the same man
who was gonna shave
his head to be in a video.
Come on, you
guys, let's not dwell
in the past.
Thank you, Mom!
You know, ever since I chose
pediatric psych as my major,
I've always wanted
to work with kids,
and now today I got my chance.
Listen, Theo, I think you're
choosing a very promising career path.
Student counseling could
be a real moneymaker.
Oh, well, that's great, but
I'm not in this for the money.
What I want to do is give
back to the community.
Yeah, but why
just the community?
I mean, you could give
back to the entire nation.
You could start your own chain
of after-school programs
across the country.
Vanessa, I already told you.
I'm not in it for the money.
We know that.
Look, Theo, I understand
that you're dedicated,
but there's nothing wrong
with a little profit motive.
Think of it... seminars,
your own home video course,
franchises, man, franchises!
Good-bye, Vanessa.
See you guys later.
Mom, thanks for breakfast.
Son, where are you
going with that syrup?
Oh. Sorry.
There you go.
See you later.
Come on, Theo,
call me about this.
Mom and Dad could
lend us the seed money.
Mmhh! Mmhh! Mmhh! Mmhh!
Where are you going?
Uh... two reasons. Number 1,
she's a brilliant person,
but I never could eat
Vanessa's cooking.
Number 2, I'm
gonna get my tool belt
and fix the pipe under the sink.
Whoa!
This is cute. I used to
do this in grammar school.
Hey!
Go! Go, Theo!
Go, Theo! Go, Theo!
Go, Theo! Go, Theo!
Go!
Yes!
Any challengers? Anyone?
Is there anyone who'd
like to do better than that?
1, 2.
Take your time, T.
Left, right. 1, 2, 3, over.
1, 2, 3.
Oh, yeah!
Don't pull.
There you go. Pick it up.
Pick it up.
5, 6, 7, 8.
And touch it.
And touch it.
Back, back. Front, front.
Back kick.
5, 6, 7!
Right, left! Middle, out!
1, 2, 3!
Whoa! Hey, are
you... That's good.
I'm Theo. I'm the new
counselor from school.
That was... Whoa,
that's... that's good.
Wow! Oh!
Well. You seem very happy today.
Oh, Mrs. Hudson, I
am! I'm happy indeed.
Good. Because
enthusiasm is important.
Mrs. Hudson, enthusiasm is me.
I get the feeling
you're a changer.
I beg your pardon? Well...
all my junior
counselors usually fall
into one of four categories.
There's the "I'm
just like you" type.
They want to be everybody's pal.
The over-empathizer.
Uh, they feel
sorry for everybody.
Then we have the authority type.
They tell everybody
to sit down and shut up.
Hmm. And then there's the
"I'm gonna change the
world" type. Is that you?
To be honest, Mrs.
Hudson, I think my category
is "I just hope I
don't fall on my face."
That makes two of us.
Okay. Uh, Mrs. Hudson.
What's this?
Oh. I call that my
Wall of Achievement.
Of course, the kids refer
to it as "Hudson's Heroes."
But we've got lawmakers,
community leaders, dentists.
Wow, that's cool.
Yeah. If...
Uh, all right, all
right, all right.
All right.
You see, I believe that
there is no such thing
as a kid who
cannot be influenced,
either positively or negatively.
Now, our job is to
stress the positive.
Oh, I know exactly what
you mean, Mrs. Hudson.
I've had my share of instructors
whose idea of teaching
was to tell everybody
to sit down and shut up.
That's not me.
I'm glad.
Now, you'll be taking
over the Rosa Parks group.
Okay. I'll be taking over
the Rosa Parks group.
My group.
All right!
You come with me.
We'll get your supplies,
and I'll show you your room.
My room?
All... right!
Are you gonna keep doing this?
I'm almost afraid
to give you your key.
My key.
After they've finished
their homework
and you've checked
it, then and only then
are they allowed
extracurricular activities,
and that does not mean
roaming the halls or the city.
Oh, we wouldn't do that.
Now. I want you all
to meet Theo Huxtable,
your new junior counselor. Hey.
Hey, Theo. What's up, Theo?
Theo, if you need me,
I'll be in my office. Okay.
Thank you, Mrs. Hudson.
Bye, Mrs. Hudson.
Good afternoon.
Okay, Rosa Parks group.
Uh... let's say you get
started on your homework,
and I'll come around
while you're working,
and I'll talk to
you individually.
Yo, Theo Hugable.
What should we call you?
Well, actually, it's Huxtable,
but you can call me Theo.
What's your name, man?
Stanley. Well, how
you doin', Stanley?
Where are you from?
Brooklyn.
Are you married?
No, I'm not married.
Where did you get those clothes?
From the store.
You like those clothes?
Very much. Now, come on.
Now, let's, uh, get with
this homework here.
Yo, man, uh, what
school did you go to?
I go to NYU.
You like it?
You got a girlfriend there?
Hey, hey.
Come on, you guys.
Time for questions later.
I know you got some
English or some math
or something to
do, so let's hit it.
Yeah. Can't you see the man
wants us to do our homework?
We're ready, Theo,
as soon as you
give us our snack.
Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah! Snack, yeah!
Right, man!
Snack?
Yeah. We always have a snack
before we do our homework.
He's right, sir. The rule is
snack, then homework.
Oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah! Man, he's right!
That's the rules. Right.
Mrs. Hudson never mentioned
anything about a snack.
Well, you see, she's
getting a little old, sir.
Sometimes she forgets.
I'm usually the one that goes
to the office to remind her.
So I'm just gonna step over...
Wait, wait. Excuse
me, uh, uh, Stanley.
Sit down, man.
All right. You want a snack?
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Uh, what
should our snack be?
Maybe, uh, I don't know. Pizza?
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yes, that's right.
Everybody likes pizza.
Now, pizza usually
comes in what?
Eight slices.
Now, since there's, uh...
13 of us, we're gonna
need... Two pizzas!
There you go. Two pizzas.
Here we go.
1, 2.
Now. If all of us were
to have just one slice,
what percentage of the
second pie will be left over?
None! Eugene
and I plan to eat it!
Ha ha ha!
Okay, cool!
But what percentage do you
and Eugene plan on eating?
And... if only half of us
wanted a second slice of pizza,
what percentage
would remain? And...
Oh, forget about it!
We're not even hungry.
Right, man. Nobody
wants to deal with that.
Oh. Well, since no one's hungry,
I guess we gonna get
back to our homework, huh?
Okay. Just turn on the music.
Music. Yeah.
Yeah! We're supposed
to have music every day
so we can exercise... and
get the blood goin' to our brain.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Okay. Well, I can't
deprive you of music, can I?
Now, let's say,
uh, I had a tape.
And the tape had ten
songs on it, and the tape
was 48 minutes
in length. Oh, no!
Now, if 1/3 of the songs
were three minutes long
and another third of the songs
were four minutes
long, how many... Stop!
Theo. Theo. Theo,
man, scratch the music.
Are you sure you're new at this?
Forget it, man.
This guy's a pro.
Well, I guess we can
get to our homework, huh?
Come on, come on.
Yo, Theo. All right. All right.
Theo. Theo. Good. Good.
Hey, Stanley, what's this, man?
Oh, hey, I know my
notebook looks a little messy,
but that's 'cause
everything's up here.
Oh, isn't that cute?
"Everything's up here."
All right.
Yo, Theo!
I gotta go to the bathroom.
Okay, but, uh... you can go,
but you gotta be
back in 1/12 of an hour.
All right, man.
Um... how much time is that?
Well, sit down, figure it
out, and then you can go.
Oh, man.
I don't have to go that bad.
Yo, well, I do! Yo,
Theo, five minutes?
Five minutes.
Five minutes!
Hey, g-guys, guys!
Let's synchronize wrists.
Starting now! Now!
Psyche!
Uh, yes, Letitia.
I have a question
about homework.
Okay. What can I help you with?
Now, do you do your
homework by yourself,
or do you do it
with your girlfriend?
That's good.
Uh... yeah.
What's your name again, man?
Raheem. Raheem, what's up?
I gotta go to the bathroom.
You can go to the bathroom
when the guys come back.
They're back.
I believe these
two belong to you?
I let these guys go to the
bathroom ten minutes ago.
Uh, well, it seems their sense
of geography is a little off.
They were on the
basketball court.
Have a seat, fellas.
Uh, listen, I'm...
I'm really sorry.
It's okay. Your first day? Yeah.
Hi. I'm Imanie. Imanie Baker.
I'm the junior counselor
with the Dorothy Hite group.
Well, nice to meet
you. I'm Theo Huxtable.
Listen, I've been
here for three months,
so if there's anything you
need, I'm right next door.
Okay. Thank you.
All right.
All right, now.
Theo. We just
wanted to let you know
that, um, we did
go to the bathroom.
We just had three
minutes left over.
You know... 1/20 of an hour.
Now, the game took a
little longer than we thought.
Yeah, about 1/12
of an hour longer?
Oh, but don't worry. We won.
We upheld the
honor and the dignity
of the Rosa Parks group.
Yeah! Rosa!
Rosa! Rosa! Rosa! Rosa!
Rosa! Rosa! Rosa! Rosa! No! Yo!
Yo, yo, yo, yo! Come on!
Chill with that noise.
Get back to your homework.
Rosa! Rosa!
Rosa! Rosa! Rosa! Rosa!
Rosa! Rosa! Hey, guys!
Rosa! Rosa! Guys! Guys!
Ros...
Rosa!
Rosa! Rosa!
Rosa! Rosa!
Rosa! Rosa!
Rosa! Rosa!
Rosa! Rosa! Rosa! Hey!
Hey! Hey! Rosa...
Now, I want
everybody to sit down
and shut up!
Oh. Hi, Dr. Huxtable.
Hey, honey.
What are you doing?
Well, we got some
air trapped in the pipe,
and I have to let it out.
Ooh. Can I help?
Yeah. You can be my assistant.
All right! Now,
when I ask for a
tool... Mm-hmm...
from up here, you
hand it to me. Okay?
Okay. All right.
Do you need
anything, Dr. Huxtable?
Oh, no, no. Not... Not yet.
Not yet. Oh.
Here's the Tool family.
Hello, Mr. Screwdriver.
Hello, Olivia!
And you must be...
Hmm. Dr. Huxtable.
Huh?
What is this?
Oh, that's... That's
a wrench, honey.
A wr... A wrench.
Hello, Mrs. Wrench!
Hello, Mr. Screwdriver.
This is our daughter,
Baby Screwdriver.
She looks just like me.
Oh, ho ho ho ho!
I have to go to work now.
Bye! Bye.
Olivia.
Olivia, I need... I need
the big screwdriver, please.
Mr. Screwdriver's
not here, Dr. Huxtable.
He went to work.
I need the
screwdriver now, okay?
Well, he's at the plant.
Well, his job is to be
here with me. Okay?
Not at the plant. Now,
give me the yellow screwdriver.
Okay?
I... I can't.
Baby Screwdriver's taking a nap.
Uh, do me a favor.
Hand me the screwdriver
with the big yellow handle.
And give me the
right one, please?
All right!
♪ You got the right one, baby ♪
Uh-huh.
All right, class.
Now, yesterday,
we got off to a bad start,
but today we're gonna have fun.
You know what I'm sayin'?
Later on, in arts and crafts,
we're gonna make
belts out of leather.
But first of all, you know,
you gotta do your homework,
so let's get to it.
Stanley, you, too.
I ain't got no homework.
You don't have any homework.
You and Letitia are
in the same class.
How come she has
homework and you don't?
'Cause she ain't
as smart as I am.
Well, at least I didn't
get a D in social studies.
Yo, that D is wack.
I know that stuff!
Yo, they make those
questions out to fool you.
Wait. Do you have
a test there, Letitia?
Let me see your test.
All right. Now, Stanley,
you know these answers?
That's right, man. Ask
me anything. All right.
Who was Eli Whitney?
He was the guy who
invented the cotton gin.
What about Robert Fulton?
He was the steam engine man!
Who was James Madison, Stanley?
He was a president.
The question is,
"Which one of these men
"is not an inventor?
Eli Whitney, Robert
Fulton, or James Madison?"
See what I mean?
They don't ask
them questions right.
He doesn't read too well.
I read better than you.
Oh, yeah? All
right, then read this.
And read it fast.
I don't have to
read nothing for you.
Don't be throwing no book at me!
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
Uh, uh, Letitia,
Letitia, Letitia, Letitia.
Don't mess with me.
Uh, Letitia, please,
just finish your
homework, all right?
All of you guys,
finish your homework.
Come on, Stanley,
let's take a walk.
Mm-hmm.
We're going out
in the hallway now.
I want you guys to
do your homework.
Behave. And I'm
leaving the door open.
Come on.
I don't care if he does
leave the door open!
I'll do what I want.
So go close it.
I'm doin' my homework!
You go close is!
I don't care what Letitia say.
I know how to read.
Listen, man, I believe you.
So then why you dis me
in front of the whole class?
Look, Stanley, I just
want you to know, man,
that I know how you feel.
Yeah, right.
Stanley, do you like to read?
Why?
All right, forget about that.
When you read, do
you read fast or slow?
Let me tell you something
about myself, man.
When I read... I read real slow.
And when I was younger,
kids used to tease me,
and I used to be
embarrassed by it.
So what that got to do with me?
Yep. I used to act the same way.
Look, man. My
handwriting is sloppy.
My notebook used to be a mess.
This sound familiar?
Maybe.
Last thing I wanted
to do was read.
I know what you're saying.
You know what I'm saying.
Stanley, you know
what I'm saying.
Come here, man. I want
you to do me a favor.
All right? Just do me...
I want you to read
something right here.
It's just me and you.
Nobody else around.
What... What you
want me to read?
I want you to read this passage
on The Declaration
of Independence.
All right. Here we go.
Right there, man.
"The Dee..cla..."
Oh. "The Declaration
of Independence...
"was... sigg... sigg-ned...
"by the memories.
S-Sigg-ned by the memories."
All right. Now, that's
"signed by the members."
Yeah. That's what I meant.
"Signed by the members."
Ahem.
All right, now,
that's a big word.
We can sound it out together.
It's "Con..." Con...
"tin... "...tine... nental."
tal."
"Con... "ti...
"Contin... ental."
"Continental" Con... gress.
Continental Congress."
See? I'm smart.
Yeah, man.
You are.
So then why do I feel so dumb?
♪♪
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
Good morning.
Good morning, Mom. Hey, Mom.
Rudy and I made
breakfast for everybody.
Oh, great. So,
um, all I have to do
is get some water for tea.
Uh-oh. You know what that means.
Yep. Dad's gonna
get out his tool belt,
the pipes are gonna be all...
No, he's not. Your father's
not gonna touch that sink.
Mom, if he hears
it, there's no way
you can stop
him. If he hears it.
He's not going to hear it.
We're gonna have to
keep him from hearing it
until I get a plumber over here.
All right. Okay?
Good morning.
Good morning, love.
Hey, Dad.
Oh, good morning.
What are you doing?
I am going to have
a nice glass of water, you see.
Let me get that for you.
But, dear, I don't
want any kettle water.
It's all from the same tap, Dad.
Well, did you think I think it
was coming from the well?
It's all H2O.
Low in cholesterol.
Yo! What's up? Hey.
Good morning.
Hey, big brother.
Come to see me off?
Uh, nope. I want you to have
a safe trip and everything,
but I actually came
over to pick up
a new jacket for my first day.
Your clothes are not here.
Come on, Dad.
So did orientation go okay?
Oh, great. Orientation
went so well, in fact,
I think this new job's
gonna be a cinch.
Job?
You... You got a...
Yes. A job. It's part
of his internship from school.
Come on, Cliff, you know that.
You have a job.
Dad, come on. You know
internships don't pay.
Well, then it's not a job.
Well, I haven't heard about it.
Because it's not a job.
Rudy, you're looking
at the new seventh
grade junior counselor
at Benjamin Banneker
Community Center. You?
Yeah. I'll be working in
a after-school program
with kids your age,
as a matter of fact.
Do they know who
they're getting?
Rudy, your brother's a
very responsible person.
Responsible? The same guy
who was gonna move to New
Jersey with Monopoly money.
If you don't mind, that
happened a long time ago.
And your brother's
more than made up for it.
He has a job now,
and that doesn't pay
any real money, either.
But... But, Dad,
this is the same man
who was gonna shave
his head to be in a video.
Come on, you
guys, let's not dwell
in the past.
Thank you, Mom!
You know, ever since I chose
pediatric psych as my major,
I've always wanted
to work with kids,
and now today I got my chance.
Listen, Theo, I think you're
choosing a very promising career path.
Student counseling could
be a real moneymaker.
Oh, well, that's great, but
I'm not in this for the money.
What I want to do is give
back to the community.
Yeah, but why
just the community?
I mean, you could give
back to the entire nation.
You could start your own chain
of after-school programs
across the country.
Vanessa, I already told you.
I'm not in it for the money.
We know that.
Look, Theo, I understand
that you're dedicated,
but there's nothing wrong
with a little profit motive.
Think of it... seminars,
your own home video course,
franchises, man, franchises!
Good-bye, Vanessa.
See you guys later.
Mom, thanks for breakfast.
Son, where are you
going with that syrup?
Oh. Sorry.
There you go.
See you later.
Come on, Theo,
call me about this.
Mom and Dad could
lend us the seed money.
Mmhh! Mmhh! Mmhh! Mmhh!
Where are you going?
Uh... two reasons. Number 1,
she's a brilliant person,
but I never could eat
Vanessa's cooking.
Number 2, I'm
gonna get my tool belt
and fix the pipe under the sink.
Whoa!
This is cute. I used to
do this in grammar school.
Hey!
Go! Go, Theo!
Go, Theo! Go, Theo!
Go, Theo! Go, Theo!
Go!
Yes!
Any challengers? Anyone?
Is there anyone who'd
like to do better than that?
1, 2.
Take your time, T.
Left, right. 1, 2, 3, over.
1, 2, 3.
Oh, yeah!
Don't pull.
There you go. Pick it up.
Pick it up.
5, 6, 7, 8.
And touch it.
And touch it.
Back, back. Front, front.
Back kick.
5, 6, 7!
Right, left! Middle, out!
1, 2, 3!
Whoa! Hey, are
you... That's good.
I'm Theo. I'm the new
counselor from school.
That was... Whoa,
that's... that's good.
Wow! Oh!
Well. You seem very happy today.
Oh, Mrs. Hudson, I
am! I'm happy indeed.
Good. Because
enthusiasm is important.
Mrs. Hudson, enthusiasm is me.
I get the feeling
you're a changer.
I beg your pardon? Well...
all my junior
counselors usually fall
into one of four categories.
There's the "I'm
just like you" type.
They want to be everybody's pal.
The over-empathizer.
Uh, they feel
sorry for everybody.
Then we have the authority type.
They tell everybody
to sit down and shut up.
Hmm. And then there's the
"I'm gonna change the
world" type. Is that you?
To be honest, Mrs.
Hudson, I think my category
is "I just hope I
don't fall on my face."
That makes two of us.
Okay. Uh, Mrs. Hudson.
What's this?
Oh. I call that my
Wall of Achievement.
Of course, the kids refer
to it as "Hudson's Heroes."
But we've got lawmakers,
community leaders, dentists.
Wow, that's cool.
Yeah. If...
Uh, all right, all
right, all right.
All right.
You see, I believe that
there is no such thing
as a kid who
cannot be influenced,
either positively or negatively.
Now, our job is to
stress the positive.
Oh, I know exactly what
you mean, Mrs. Hudson.
I've had my share of instructors
whose idea of teaching
was to tell everybody
to sit down and shut up.
That's not me.
I'm glad.
Now, you'll be taking
over the Rosa Parks group.
Okay. I'll be taking over
the Rosa Parks group.
My group.
All right!
You come with me.
We'll get your supplies,
and I'll show you your room.
My room?
All... right!
Are you gonna keep doing this?
I'm almost afraid
to give you your key.
My key.
After they've finished
their homework
and you've checked
it, then and only then
are they allowed
extracurricular activities,
and that does not mean
roaming the halls or the city.
Oh, we wouldn't do that.
Now. I want you all
to meet Theo Huxtable,
your new junior counselor. Hey.
Hey, Theo. What's up, Theo?
Theo, if you need me,
I'll be in my office. Okay.
Thank you, Mrs. Hudson.
Bye, Mrs. Hudson.
Good afternoon.
Okay, Rosa Parks group.
Uh... let's say you get
started on your homework,
and I'll come around
while you're working,
and I'll talk to
you individually.
Yo, Theo Hugable.
What should we call you?
Well, actually, it's Huxtable,
but you can call me Theo.
What's your name, man?
Stanley. Well, how
you doin', Stanley?
Where are you from?
Brooklyn.
Are you married?
No, I'm not married.
Where did you get those clothes?
From the store.
You like those clothes?
Very much. Now, come on.
Now, let's, uh, get with
this homework here.
Yo, man, uh, what
school did you go to?
I go to NYU.
You like it?
You got a girlfriend there?
Hey, hey.
Come on, you guys.
Time for questions later.
I know you got some
English or some math
or something to
do, so let's hit it.
Yeah. Can't you see the man
wants us to do our homework?
We're ready, Theo,
as soon as you
give us our snack.
Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah! Snack, yeah!
Right, man!
Snack?
Yeah. We always have a snack
before we do our homework.
He's right, sir. The rule is
snack, then homework.
Oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah! Man, he's right!
That's the rules. Right.
Mrs. Hudson never mentioned
anything about a snack.
Well, you see, she's
getting a little old, sir.
Sometimes she forgets.
I'm usually the one that goes
to the office to remind her.
So I'm just gonna step over...
Wait, wait. Excuse
me, uh, uh, Stanley.
Sit down, man.
All right. You want a snack?
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Uh, what
should our snack be?
Maybe, uh, I don't know. Pizza?
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yes, that's right.
Everybody likes pizza.
Now, pizza usually
comes in what?
Eight slices.
Now, since there's, uh...
13 of us, we're gonna
need... Two pizzas!
There you go. Two pizzas.
Here we go.
1, 2.
Now. If all of us were
to have just one slice,
what percentage of the
second pie will be left over?
None! Eugene
and I plan to eat it!
Ha ha ha!
Okay, cool!
But what percentage do you
and Eugene plan on eating?
And... if only half of us
wanted a second slice of pizza,
what percentage
would remain? And...
Oh, forget about it!
We're not even hungry.
Right, man. Nobody
wants to deal with that.
Oh. Well, since no one's hungry,
I guess we gonna get
back to our homework, huh?
Okay. Just turn on the music.
Music. Yeah.
Yeah! We're supposed
to have music every day
so we can exercise... and
get the blood goin' to our brain.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Okay. Well, I can't
deprive you of music, can I?
Now, let's say,
uh, I had a tape.
And the tape had ten
songs on it, and the tape
was 48 minutes
in length. Oh, no!
Now, if 1/3 of the songs
were three minutes long
and another third of the songs
were four minutes
long, how many... Stop!
Theo. Theo. Theo,
man, scratch the music.
Are you sure you're new at this?
Forget it, man.
This guy's a pro.
Well, I guess we can
get to our homework, huh?
Come on, come on.
Yo, Theo. All right. All right.
Theo. Theo. Good. Good.
Hey, Stanley, what's this, man?
Oh, hey, I know my
notebook looks a little messy,
but that's 'cause
everything's up here.
Oh, isn't that cute?
"Everything's up here."
All right.
Yo, Theo!
I gotta go to the bathroom.
Okay, but, uh... you can go,
but you gotta be
back in 1/12 of an hour.
All right, man.
Um... how much time is that?
Well, sit down, figure it
out, and then you can go.
Oh, man.
I don't have to go that bad.
Yo, well, I do! Yo,
Theo, five minutes?
Five minutes.
Five minutes!
Hey, g-guys, guys!
Let's synchronize wrists.
Starting now! Now!
Psyche!
Uh, yes, Letitia.
I have a question
about homework.
Okay. What can I help you with?
Now, do you do your
homework by yourself,
or do you do it
with your girlfriend?
That's good.
Uh... yeah.
What's your name again, man?
Raheem. Raheem, what's up?
I gotta go to the bathroom.
You can go to the bathroom
when the guys come back.
They're back.
I believe these
two belong to you?
I let these guys go to the
bathroom ten minutes ago.
Uh, well, it seems their sense
of geography is a little off.
They were on the
basketball court.
Have a seat, fellas.
Uh, listen, I'm...
I'm really sorry.
It's okay. Your first day? Yeah.
Hi. I'm Imanie. Imanie Baker.
I'm the junior counselor
with the Dorothy Hite group.
Well, nice to meet
you. I'm Theo Huxtable.
Listen, I've been
here for three months,
so if there's anything you
need, I'm right next door.
Okay. Thank you.
All right.
All right, now.
Theo. We just
wanted to let you know
that, um, we did
go to the bathroom.
We just had three
minutes left over.
You know... 1/20 of an hour.
Now, the game took a
little longer than we thought.
Yeah, about 1/12
of an hour longer?
Oh, but don't worry. We won.
We upheld the
honor and the dignity
of the Rosa Parks group.
Yeah! Rosa!
Rosa! Rosa! Rosa! Rosa!
Rosa! Rosa! Rosa! Rosa! No! Yo!
Yo, yo, yo, yo! Come on!
Chill with that noise.
Get back to your homework.
Rosa! Rosa!
Rosa! Rosa! Rosa! Rosa!
Rosa! Rosa! Hey, guys!
Rosa! Rosa! Guys! Guys!
Ros...
Rosa!
Rosa! Rosa!
Rosa! Rosa!
Rosa! Rosa!
Rosa! Rosa!
Rosa! Rosa! Rosa! Hey!
Hey! Hey! Rosa...
Now, I want
everybody to sit down
and shut up!
Oh. Hi, Dr. Huxtable.
Hey, honey.
What are you doing?
Well, we got some
air trapped in the pipe,
and I have to let it out.
Ooh. Can I help?
Yeah. You can be my assistant.
All right! Now,
when I ask for a
tool... Mm-hmm...
from up here, you
hand it to me. Okay?
Okay. All right.
Do you need
anything, Dr. Huxtable?
Oh, no, no. Not... Not yet.
Not yet. Oh.
Here's the Tool family.
Hello, Mr. Screwdriver.
Hello, Olivia!
And you must be...
Hmm. Dr. Huxtable.
Huh?
What is this?
Oh, that's... That's
a wrench, honey.
A wr... A wrench.
Hello, Mrs. Wrench!
Hello, Mr. Screwdriver.
This is our daughter,
Baby Screwdriver.
She looks just like me.
Oh, ho ho ho ho!
I have to go to work now.
Bye! Bye.
Olivia.
Olivia, I need... I need
the big screwdriver, please.
Mr. Screwdriver's
not here, Dr. Huxtable.
He went to work.
I need the
screwdriver now, okay?
Well, he's at the plant.
Well, his job is to be
here with me. Okay?
Not at the plant. Now,
give me the yellow screwdriver.
Okay?
I... I can't.
Baby Screwdriver's taking a nap.
Uh, do me a favor.
Hand me the screwdriver
with the big yellow handle.
And give me the
right one, please?
All right!
♪ You got the right one, baby ♪
Uh-huh.
All right, class.
Now, yesterday,
we got off to a bad start,
but today we're gonna have fun.
You know what I'm sayin'?
Later on, in arts and crafts,
we're gonna make
belts out of leather.
But first of all, you know,
you gotta do your homework,
so let's get to it.
Stanley, you, too.
I ain't got no homework.
You don't have any homework.
You and Letitia are
in the same class.
How come she has
homework and you don't?
'Cause she ain't
as smart as I am.
Well, at least I didn't
get a D in social studies.
Yo, that D is wack.
I know that stuff!
Yo, they make those
questions out to fool you.
Wait. Do you have
a test there, Letitia?
Let me see your test.
All right. Now, Stanley,
you know these answers?
That's right, man. Ask
me anything. All right.
Who was Eli Whitney?
He was the guy who
invented the cotton gin.
What about Robert Fulton?
He was the steam engine man!
Who was James Madison, Stanley?
He was a president.
The question is,
"Which one of these men
"is not an inventor?
Eli Whitney, Robert
Fulton, or James Madison?"
See what I mean?
They don't ask
them questions right.
He doesn't read too well.
I read better than you.
Oh, yeah? All
right, then read this.
And read it fast.
I don't have to
read nothing for you.
Don't be throwing no book at me!
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
Uh, uh, Letitia,
Letitia, Letitia, Letitia.
Don't mess with me.
Uh, Letitia, please,
just finish your
homework, all right?
All of you guys,
finish your homework.
Come on, Stanley,
let's take a walk.
Mm-hmm.
We're going out
in the hallway now.
I want you guys to
do your homework.
Behave. And I'm
leaving the door open.
Come on.
I don't care if he does
leave the door open!
I'll do what I want.
So go close it.
I'm doin' my homework!
You go close is!
I don't care what Letitia say.
I know how to read.
Listen, man, I believe you.
So then why you dis me
in front of the whole class?
Look, Stanley, I just
want you to know, man,
that I know how you feel.
Yeah, right.
Stanley, do you like to read?
Why?
All right, forget about that.
When you read, do
you read fast or slow?
Let me tell you something
about myself, man.
When I read... I read real slow.
And when I was younger,
kids used to tease me,
and I used to be
embarrassed by it.
So what that got to do with me?
Yep. I used to act the same way.
Look, man. My
handwriting is sloppy.
My notebook used to be a mess.
This sound familiar?
Maybe.
Last thing I wanted
to do was read.
I know what you're saying.
You know what I'm saying.
Stanley, you know
what I'm saying.
Come here, man. I want
you to do me a favor.
All right? Just do me...
I want you to read
something right here.
It's just me and you.
Nobody else around.
What... What you
want me to read?
I want you to read this passage
on The Declaration
of Independence.
All right. Here we go.
Right there, man.
"The Dee..cla..."
Oh. "The Declaration
of Independence...
"was... sigg... sigg-ned...
"by the memories.
S-Sigg-ned by the memories."
All right. Now, that's
"signed by the members."
Yeah. That's what I meant.
"Signed by the members."
Ahem.
All right, now,
that's a big word.
We can sound it out together.
It's "Con..." Con...
"tin... "...tine... nental."
tal."
"Con... "ti...
"Contin... ental."
"Continental" Con... gress.
Continental Congress."
See? I'm smart.
Yeah, man.
You are.
So then why do I feel so dumb?
♪♪
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA