The Cosby Show (1984–1992): Season 6, Episode 3 - I'm 'In' with the 'In' Crowd - full transcript

♪♪ [theme]

This is the best elevator
music I've ever heard.

Mom! Mom!

Yes?

You have to see
this. Olivia is amazing.

She is so smart!

Okay, show it to
me, whatever it is.

Okay. Olivia, you've
never seen this book, right?

Never seen it.

And no coaching from me, right?

No coaching.



Okay, Mom, keeping all that in
mind, will you please turn to any page

and pick a sentence?

All right.

All right, Olivia, I'd like for
you to read this sentence.

You got it.

"The brown cow
ate the green grass."

Yes! Amazing! And
every word correct.

And she's going to
be four next month.

Mom, have you ever seen any
child, including me, who could do this?

Well, actually, when
Vanessa was three,

she was getting...

But she was not nearly as
good at it as you are, Olivia.

You're a genius, you're
a genius, you're a genius

Okay, now, what
sound does a cow make?



Moo!

Is she amazing or what?
She does impressions, too.

Hey! Oh, Dad, you
have to see this!

Okay.

"The farmer...
sat on the tractor."

So what else happened?

Let me finish reading, please.

Mom, we're on our
way to Susan's house.

We're having a "we survived
the chemistry exam" celebration.

Oh, that sounds like fun.

And the party is for girls only.

I mean, we're not inviting
guys, because guys are jerks.

But not all guys; I mean,
you're okay, Dr. Huxtable.

But you're not really a guy,
you're a man, you're older.

Well, not that you're an old man, but
you're not 16, which is what a guy is,

and I don't know what it
is about that age for guys,

I mean, because they don't tell
the truth and they talk about sports

and they're into
bods, nothing else.

And they're always
talking behind your back,

no matter who you
are or what you've done

or what you haven't done.

I mean, that's
why they're jerks.

And I hope Susan makes
some clam dip; I love clam dip.

Thank you.

Well, see you later. Okay.

You're welcome. Bye. Bye.

Her mouth is fast.

Okay, you guys, we
watched all the videos.

The rest are just
my parents' videos.

Anybody want to see All
Quiet On the Western Front?

[All] No.

Jane Eyre? No.

All right. Moby Dick.

Are you serious?

All right, let's just forget
about the videos, okay?

I can't believe you
didn't make any clam dip.

I'm bored.

Me, too.

What can we do?

I know, let's call
up... somebody.

Who are we going to
call? We're all sitting here.

Wait a minute.

The idea here is not
to be bored, right?

[All] Yeah.

Girls, I know how
we can have big fun.

How? Yeah.

A whole new way to
play the alphabet game.

Wait a minute.
No, I'm not drinking.

Susan, I'm not allowed to drink.

Oh, well, you won't have to...

unless you lose.

I don't know.

I mean, if my parents even smelled
liquor on my breath they'd kill me.

Vanessa, your
parents aren't here.

Would you live a little?

Maybe I'll just sit this
one out and watch.

Uh-uh. If we're going to do
this, we all have to do it together.

Yeah. She's right.

Okay, I'm in.

All right. I'm in.

Totally.

Come on, Vanessa. You, too.

All right.

All right, now, the rules of the
alphabet game are the same.

We go through the alphabet
and name a city for each letter.

Whoever breaks the rhythm loses.

And when you lose... bottoms up.

Okay, we'll go
from left to right.

Starting with Patsy, go.

Atlanta.

Buffalo.

Chicago.

D.C.. Hold it.

Hold it, hold it.
No, no, no, no, no.

Do you mean Washington D.C.?

Yeah, Washington D.C..

I'm sorry but Washington is the
city, D.C. is the District of Columbia.

Oh, come on, you guys.

- Let me have it, please?
- Rules committee?

[Girls] Loser!

Come on, girl.

- Come on, let's go.
- Ooh, tastes so good.

[Janet] Go for it.

[Patsy] Come on, come
on, come on, come on.

No, no, no, no. What is that?

No sipping. You
have to down this one.

Thank you.

[all chanting] Go,
Kara! Go, Kara...

[all screaming]

Yes! Way to go, Kara!

Ugh!

How do you feel?

Warm.

All right, next round.

Vanessa, you have E.

Evanston.

Fargo.

Galveston.

Hackensack.

Indianapolis.

Jersey City.

Uh... K... [all screaming]

You broke the rhythm, Kara.

You should have
said Kansas City.

Kansas City!

No, no! It's too late.

Sorry. Oh, drink, drink, drink.

[all chanting]
Drink, drink, drink...

Whoa!

Come on!

Down the hatch.

[girls cheering]

- Getting used to it now.
- Yeah.

Still okay? [giggles]

I feel no pain.

All right, round three.
Vanessa, start with L.

Okay.

Uh, uh... Uh-oh! L City!

Guys, guys, I hear
"Loser City." I think so.

Wait a minute, no,
no. Los Angeles.

Lubbock. Lino Lakes!

Puh-lease! Too late, too late.

I'm having fun.

[Patsy] Oh, yeah. Oh yeah.

- Drink it down, drink it down...
- Signed, sealed, and delivered.

Way down.

[sniffs]

Oh, come on! Come on!

[girls chanting]
Drink, drink, drink...

[cheering]

Vanessa! All right!

Yes! Tastes good, doesn't it?

Oh, yeah.

[giggling]

Patsy, how long you
going be in there for?

I'll be out in just
a... [vomiting]

She'd better hurry up.

I don't feel very well.

Oh, no! Look it, go to the
bathroom down the hall.

[coughing] Come on.

Janet's throwing up in that one.

Well, then, use the
one in my parents' room.

[slurring] No,
Brenda is in that one.

Well, then just go
out in the backyard.

- Come on, please!
- I'm not going to make it.

Oh, no. Patsy, move over!

[vomiting]

Oh, no! Guys, my parents are
going to be home in an hour.

We've got to clean up and
everybody's got to get out of here.

I can't drive.

Well, then leave your car here.

Come on, I'll call you a cab.

Just get out. Come on.

[groaning]

Janet, you get out, too.

What did I do? Just go.

Vanessa, what are you
doing? Who are you calling?

I... I have to call my sister.

Because my sister
will pick me up.

Okay, you just hurry. Okay.

Wait. I love your phone.

♪♪ [orchestral, TV]

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Denise?

Oh... don't... don't let
Mom and Dad listen in.

[sotto voce] Vanessa?

I need you to come and get me.

This is serious.

Bourbon, too much bourbon.

That's nice. Okay.

I need me to pick you
up because Kara is drunk.

Bombed. Shh.

Uh... okay, yeah.
Sure, I'll come get you.

Okay, bye.

Bye. Okay.

I thought Kara was
bringing Vanessa home.

Oh yeah, well, Kara can't drive.

Um, it's her battery.

Dead.

This is your favorite
movie. I'll go pick her up.

No, no, no, Dad, this
isn't my favorite movie.

See you guys. I'm
going to be fine.

Talk to you later.

[whispering] Okay, we're
not going to say a word, right?

Be very quiet. Denise?

I want to go to sleep. I know.

Shh. You're just going to stay
here, I'm gonna get you upstairs.

Just stay here.

Okay. I want to lie down.

Wait, wait. No, no.

Mom and Dad are in there,

so we're going to have
to go around back, okay?

Back? Shh.

Denise? Shh!

[mumbling] I wanna go to sleep.

I know.

Tired.

♪♪ [instrumental, TV]

[Both] Shh.

Denise?

I love you. I love you, too.

I'm so glad you're
home from Africa.

Ugh!

Easy, girl.

[crying]

I didn't even buy you
a wedding present.

It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay. No, it's not.

Shh. Shh. [squeaking]

Cliff, honey, while
you're in the kitchen,

would you please
bring me some juice?

[Cliff] You got it.

You, uh... You want this thing
with mayonnaise or mustard?

[Clair] Um, just tomato.

[whispering] Mom.

No. Denise, just leave me here.

- I want to go to sleep.
- I know, come on, we're almost there.

Uh!

Denise, what's the
matter with Vanessa?

Huh? Nothing.
She's just really tired.

Really? She looks terrible.

Ew, and her breath smells, too.

She's just got the flu, Rudy.

I had the flu. I
didn't smell like that.

Oh...

Listen, you just go to bed
and I'll take care of Vanessa.

Fine, then I won't
have to smell her.

That's right.

All of them?

Well, no, Angela, I don't think
it's just your daughter's fault.

Vanessa didn't have to do
what everybody else was doing.

Well, I'm sorry that
it happened, too.

Thank you for calling.

Yeah, bye.

Samiches coming up.

Samiches.

Cliff, Angela Henning just called to say
that while she and her husband were out,

her daughter and her
friends, our daughter included,

decided to play the alphabet
game while chug-a-lugging bourbon,

and it seems that Vanessa
was very drunk when she left.

She must have lost.

Ah!

We didn't know you
brought Vanessa home.

Oh, well, that's because you guys looked
like you were enjoying the movie so much

that we just sort of, you
know, went around back.

I see. What is that aroma
coming from those sheets?

Huh?

[loudly] What is the aroma

coming from the sheets?

Well, um, okay, on the way
home, Vanessa got the flu

and she was going to throw up in
the car, but, you know, she didn't,

and when she got home,
you know, she just...

Well, if she has the flu, then
I'd better take a look at her now.

Oh, no, Dad, you don't have to
do that. I already checked her.

Yeah, uh, because I learned
first aid in Africa, you know.

That's your sister in there,

but it's also our daughter.

Why don't I just go
wash these sheets?

Yes, why don't you do that?

Okay.

[Vanessa groans]

Daddy?

Daddy, my head.

My stomach.

Please, can you
give me something?

Nothing I can give you, kid.

There's no cure for this.

Oh!

Vanessa?

Vanessa?

Vanessa?

[sighs]

Vanessa.

Vanessa! Vanessa,
I'm talking to you.

Vanessa, your
mother's talking to you.

Vanessa, Mrs. Henning called.

We know about everything
that happened at her house.

Oh.

We're not going to
talk punishment, honey,

because I think you're
learning your lesson right now.

Oh, thank you.

[slams door]

Oh!

Hi.

Now, what are you doing here?

I'm eating a bowl of cereal.

You're supposed to be out of the
house, but you keep coming back here.

You don't seem to understand
what that means, man.

You come here, you eat
cereal, pork chops, anything.

You've been hounding us for
your own apartment for 19 years,

and now that you have it,
why are you always here?

I'm not always here. I just
came by to visit you guys.

Well, in that case, why
didn't you come up and see us

before you started
eating cereal?

Now, I knew you guys
were on your way down

to the kitchen eventually, so I
figured I'd just meet you here.

You came down
here to eat our cereal.

Okay.

We ran out.

Right. Right.

And by the way, I saw
Vanessa this morning.

Oh, you did, huh?

Yeah, I was upstairs in the
bathroom, taking a shower.

We ran out of soap.

And she was banging on the
door, telling me I had to let her in

because she was really sick.

Vanessa and her friends
decided to get drunk last night.

Whoa.

Vanessa drunk?

That's pretty severe.

It took us by surprise, too.

I never thought she would
crack under the pressure.

What pressure?

Well, the pressure of
growing up in this family.

See, you guys don't realize what
it's like being a Huxtable child.

Because of what you
two have achieved,

the whole world expects a lot
more from us than other kids.

Let's face it.

There's nowhere else
left for us to go but down.

Oh. So, that's our fault?

Think about it, Dad.

You're a doctor, Mom's a lawyer.

That's a lot of pressure.

But we have never said to you, "Son,
become a doctor, become a lawyer."

We say "go to school," we say "study,"
we say "become whatever you want."

There you go. Pressure.

"Go to school.
Become something."

That's a lot of pressure, Mom.

All my friends see it.

Theo, when do you
feel this pressure?

Every now and then.

This is not about pressure.

Vanessa got drunk because
she and her friends were bored.

Although they had television, VCR,
video cassettes, audio cassettes, books...

And each other. Thank you.

That they call each other on the phone
every five minutes when they're away.

Yet, they were bored together.

You see?

So you see, Vanessa did
not feel pressure from us.

The pressure she felt was
from the people she was with.

Okay, Mom.

And to show you that I'm
an open-minded person,

I'm going to bring
up what you said

in my next discussion with
the guys about pressure.

Thank you ever so much.

Hi, Mom.

How was school?

Painful.

I wish you hadn't made me go.

I felt sick all day.

Oh, I'm so sorry that
happened to you, my sweet.

Come over here

and sit down with me
for just a little while.

Mom, I'd really
like to go to bed.

No, not yet.

[shouting] Cliff, she's here!

All right! Hey, Vanessa,
you're just in time!

[gibberish]

Just in time to play the
alphabet game with us.

All right.

Yeah! Dad, you can't.

Oh please, if you're going
to play the alphabet game,

we want you to be good
at it so you don't lose.

[Cliff] Hello. That's right.

I'm playing, too.

- You?
- Yes, indeed.

Starting her out young
so she can build up.

We don't want her to
cave in under the pressure.

I still feel sick.

Don't make me do this. I
said I would never drink again.

I'll start with letter A.

[Cliff] All right!

Hey!

Altoona.

Boston.

Colorado.

Stop! Hello.

- No such city.
- What, what... But wait.

Where is the city
named Colorado?

- Show it to me.
- Colorado, Wyoming.

- Go get the book.
- Please don't try it.

- Colorado, Wyoming.
- Don't even think about it.

You better chug-a-lug.

But you're not... I
said Colorado City...

Now don't... Shut...
Darling, go on.

Well, goodness gracious. Ugh.

[Clair laughs]

Whoo, you did this
all night long, huh?

All right, boys, here they come.

Whoa.

Hey!

D, Vanessa.

Detroit.

Ea, Ea...

Oh, no, you don't!
"Ea, Ea, Ea, Ea..."

No, no, no, that was the first
syllable of the town of Eatonville, now.

Listen, we don't...

When you hesitate,
say "ea," like that...

There you go. There you go.

Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug...

Let it not be said that I
cannot play the game...

[Rudy, Cliff]
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug.

Nor abide by the rules.

[Cliff] Hit it, big mama!

Whoo! Bravo!

Yes, indeed.

Ahem.

Here we go!

- F.
- F.

Fort Lauderdale.

Genoa.

Houston.

Iowa City.

J.

No, no, J. Ain't no J.

I don't know! Ain't no...

Hey, the little
people count, too.

Dad, you cannot make Rudy drink.

Take your hands off me, please.

Dad, you can't.

Hey!

Here you go, smarty.

No, no, no, no, no.

Ew! Come on. No.

- This stuff is nasty!
- No, you lost, you lost.

You lost. Look at me.

[monotone] Drink her down.

Drink her down.

Come on, hit it. Good. Go, go!

[Clair] Way to go, Rudy!

[Clair, Cliff cheering]

♪ Whatcha gonna do,
chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug ♪

All right, Cliff, that's
you. [singing gibberish]

J, K. Hey, Kenosha.

L... No, L.

Ugh! Why can't I ever get L?

I don't know, but I'll tell you
what, you're in a hell of a jam now.

[Rudy laughing]

I'll tell you why... because the
person who loses every fourth time

has to drink four drinks.

Here you go.

- Drink her down.
- Four shots?

Four shots, that's
the bonus way.

Drink her down. Drink her down.

Dad, look, I promise, I
will never drink again.

- Why are you doing this?
- You are stalling, Vanessa.

Come on, honey, chug-a-lug
like you did last night.

Chug-a-lug,
chug-a-lug... Chug-a-lug...

[Rudy joins in chant]

[Cliff joins chant]
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug...

[making noises]

All right!

Hey! All right! [laughs]

This is tea.

[all but Vanessa] Got you.

♪♪ [theme]

[Announcer] The Cosby Show
was taped before a studio audience.

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