The Cosby Show (1984–1992): Season 3, Episode 10 - A Girl and Her Dog - full transcript

♪♪ [theme]

♪♪ [singing in Spanish]

♪♪ [ends]

Hello? Hello?

Come on, Peter.

I think he likes it here.

Me, too. I bet he's
hungry. Let's feed him.

Okay.

- What do dogs eat?
- Bologna.

Good. We have that.

[phone rings]



[ring]

Huxtable residence.

Is this the very handsome
Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable?

Yes, it is.

Mmm. You sound like
quite a beautiful woman.

Well, thank you.

So, I hear your wife is away

in Washington
D.C. for a few days.

That's right. Who's this?

This is your secret admirer.

Lola!

- How are the children?
- Fine. Fine.

We, we're all comin' down
this weekend to root for you.

Oh, that's good. I
can't wait to see you.



- The conference is going great.
- Good.

- Is everything at home okay?
- Fine.

Is Theo wearing his heavy
coat when he goes out?

Every time it's cold.

And Rudy's not wearing the
same underwear every day, is she?

Nope.

Is Vanessa trying to get
away with wearing makeup?

Yes... no! I mean, no. No.

- He likes bologna.
- Yeah.

- Let's brush him!
- Okay.

Okay. You hold him.

My mom uses this for spaghetti.

- Hi.
- Hi.

What's up?

Dad, remember
one time you told me

that choosing one
thing sometimes means

saying no to something else?

Yes.

Well, I had to make a choice,

and I don't think I'll be able
to be able to go to Washington

with the family this weekend.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

You see, Rebecca St. Clair
is having a party this Saturday,

and I think it would be better
for me if I went there instead.

But I will be thinking about
all of you while you're gone.

Oh, and if you remember,
would you please bring back

a t-shirt from the Air
and space Museum?

Thank you, Dad.

Yeah. Vanessa?

Come here, please.

- Yes?
- You're going to go to Washington.

- But, Dad...!
- You are not going to go to any party.

Dad, this isn't just any party!

This is the party of the year!

It was an honor to be invited.

Dad, please!
Don't do this to me!

Do what? I mean, do you think
this is some kind of punishment?

Dad, anyone who
is not at this party

won't be considered
cool any more.

Not necessarily.

They might say, "Vanessa
Huxtable is so cool,"

"she didn't even
show up for the party."

Dad, they're not gonna say that.

Or they might say,
"Vanessa Huxtable is so cool,"

"she went to Washington
D.C. to hear her mother speak."

Dad, I don't think they're
gonna say that, either.

Or they may say, "Vanessa
Huxtable's father was so cool,"

"he didn't care
about the party."

I guess I'm going to Washington.

- He's beautiful.
- Yeah.

Hey, where'd this dog come from?

We were across the
street at Peter's house,

and he came up to us.

Rudy, you're not supposed
to play with stray dogs.

But he was real friendly.

Well, he does
look pretty healthy.

I told him he
could live with me.

Rudy, has Dad seen this dog yet?

- No.
- Well, you better enjoy him now,

because when Dad
sees him, he's out of here.

But I wanna keep him.

We're not allowed to have a dog.

But I love my dog!
And Peter does, too.

Well, there might be a
chance you could keep him.

- Really?
- Yeah, you see,

Dad has a real soft spot
when it comes to dogs.

Whenever we're in the
park and he sees one,

he'll whistle and say,
"Hey, fella. How you doin'?"

"Taking your owner
out for a walk?"

He thinks that's a funny joke.

And if he sees one
that he really likes,

he'll go up to it,
and run alongside it,

and start barking.

I'll go ask Dad now.

No, no. See, Dad
likes dogs that are cute.

He's cute. We just brushed him.

Oh, Rudy! Look.

Oh, whoa. What did you feed him?

- Bologna?
- Big mistake.

[Cliff] Theo!

Quick, get downstairs
in the basement.

[Cliff] Theo! You home?

Yeah, Dad. Yeah!

[Cliff] Well, where are you?

I'm in the kitchen, Dad!

I put the dog in the basement.

Shh! Be quiet. Dad's coming.

[Cliff, humming]

Hey, Petey-Weety
and Tutti-Frutti! Okay.

[sniffing]

You smell something?

- No.
- No.

No.

May I see the bottom
of your shoes, please?

Sure.

Step aside, please.

- Huh?
- Step aside.

I'll step aside.

Who put this in here?

Well, Dad... this...

[dog barks]

See, Dad... Peter and Rudy
found him across the street.

He has no tags, but he is healthy,
'cause I checked him myself.

Oh, you gave him a full exam?

Well, not a full exam.

Can I keep him? Please?

Rudy, this dog
belongs to someone

who's probably
missing it right now.

But I love him. Can
I keep him, please?

Please, please, please, please.

Uh, uh, okay. Let's have a
meeting in the living room.

Okay? You and Peter,
in the living room.

- Yay!
- Yeah, yeah. Let's go.

Do me a favor, please.
Will you look after the dog?

And take that stuff outside.

And then get a mop
and some ammonia,

and do some strong
mopping in this area.

Sure, I can.

Now, let's discuss this dog.

Can we keep him? Please?

No, Rudy, because
if you were lost,

wouldn't you want
somebody to bring you home?

I guess.

Well, I know a place
that helps lost dogs

find their owners. It's called
Love-A-Lot Foundation.

You mean dog jail.

It's not a dog jail.

You don't see dogs
there with tin cups,

raking across the bar,
going, "Rarr, rarr, we want..."

This place has
sunshine, fresh air,

plenty of space
for the dog to run,

and they serve
it nutritious food.

Can't we keep him
until we find the owners?

This is not a good
home for a dog.

Your mother and I work.
You, Vanessa, and Theo,

you're in school all day.

The dog would be here
alone. He would be sad.

I could quit school.
So could Peter.

But that isn't a good idea.

Can we keep him until
we go to Washington?

Who is going to feed the dog,

clean up after the dog
makes a mess, wash the dog?

I will, and Peter will help.

Won't you, Peter?
- Yes.

- No, you won't.
- [both] Yes, we will.

- No, you won't.
- [both] Yes, we will!

Now raise your right hands.

You promise...
[both] I promise...

to feed the dog.

[both] to feed the dog.

To wash the dog.

[both] To wash the dog.

To clean up its boom-boom.

[both] To clean
up its boom-boom.

And its bam-bam.

[both laughing] Bam-bam.

And especially...
[both] And especially...

its wooey-wabby.

Its wabbit... wubbit...
wooby-wabby.

[laughs]

I will follow this dog...

[both] I will follow this dog...

- day and night.

[both] day and night.

Looking for...
[both] Looking for...

woogy-woogies...
[both] woogy-woogies...

waggy-waggies...

[both laughing] waggy-waggies...

and wiggly-wigglees.

[both] and wiggly-wigglees.

All right. I now pronounce you

the proud looker-afters

of the dog until we leave
for Washington D.C.,

or until its owners call for it.

[both] Yay!

You're the best dad
in the whole world.

Yeah, I know.

[raspberry]

- Thank you.
- You have to give him a hug and kiss, too.

[raspberry]

Hi, Pud.

Hi, Dad.

Vanessa, you're
wearing your robe.

I know.

It's 3:30 in the afternoon, hon.

Well, when I came
home from school,

it was the only thing
I felt like wearing.

Oh, really?

Dad, when the kids heard
I wasn't going to the party,

they treated me like an outcast.

I'm sorry.

Do you think you
could reconsider?

I mean, I could stay here this
weekend and baby-sit the dog.

The dog will not be
here by the weekend.

Well, if we're all gone, the
house is gonna be empty.

Aren't you worried about that?

And you think I'd feel
a lot safer with you in it?

Oh, yes!

So I'm going to Washington?

Yes.

Are you gonna be all right?

[sighing] Oh... I hope so.

Empty.

You people are not
taking care of this dog!

- Hey, Dad.
- Hey.

Well, it's in the paper.
Lost and found section.

All right. Let me hear it.

Okay.

"Found: one brown and white
combination terrier/sheepdog."

"Heartbroken. Misses
his owner terribly."

Ha ha ha! I put
that in there special.

- Is the phone number in there?
- Yeah.

Good. Calls should
start coming in.

Well, you know, Dad, yesterday

I posted signs up on all the
telephone poles in the neighborhood?

And we haven't heard anything!

We may never find the owner.

Son, it's only the second day.
You have to have patience.

Yeah, right.

- Uh, son?
- Yeah?

[squeeze toys squeaks]

I don't recall this
being on the list.

Well, it was on sale.

And what is this for?

Your teeth and breath?

Dad, I couldn't help myself.

You see, I've always
wanted to go into a pet shop,

and bring something
home to a dog.

Heh heh heh. Well, son, I
don't think it's a good idea

for you to buy these things,

because this dog is not going
to be here that much longer.

And it's not well taken care of.

Look at that. Empty!

And I had to fill those
things up myself last night.

Well, Dad, don't you think you're
expecting too much from Rudy?

Remember, she's young.

I'm more responsible
than she is.

So if I promise to take care
of the dog, can we keep it?

- You?
- Yeah!

Would you please go back with me

to the time when
you were a little boy,

and you were reading a
book about sea horses?

And you started
beggin' and cryin',

"Dad, please, may I have sea
horses? May I have sea horses?"

And then finally,
I just got tired

of all this begging and crying.

I went out. I bought
you 20 sea horses.

Bought the tank.
All the equipment.

Little castles for them
to go under and through.

Little lighthouse
for 'em to pass by.

And I gave you 20 days'
supply of sea horse food.

You fed 'em, the first day. You
talked to 'em. You tickled the tank.

You went around going,

[mimics horse hooves] Sea horse.

[mimics horse hooves]

The third day,

you started playing basketball.

You forgot all about
the sea horses.

And on the sixth day,

you came to me,
crying. You said,

"Dad, the sea horses
are floating upside-down."

"They're not swimming anymore."

And we had to send
those sea horses

to the sea horse
corral in the sky.

But, Dad, I'm older now.

Come on, can't we keep the dog?

I'm not gonna be
living here much longer.

That's right. So when
you get your own house,

then you can have a
herd of cattle if you want.

Where you going?

We're going outside to play.

- Where's the dog?
- Downstairs in the basement.

Aren't you supposed to
take the dog for a walk,

or are you hoping that
the dog will just join you?

We took her for a walk.

- When?
- This morning.

You're supposed to take him for a walk
before you go to school in the morning

and after you come
home from school.

I forgot.

You're also supposed
to get food and water

and put it in
their little dishes.

Did you forget that, too?

I guess.

What happened to the
promises you made?

You forget those, too? No.

Come on, Peter. Let's go
feed the dog and walk the dog.

It's not my dog.

You promised to help.

[sighs]

I'm gonna give you dinner
then take you for a walk.

Peter, go get the dog.

- Oh, no, Rudy.
- What?

Oh, no. He did it again.

We're gonna have
to clean this up.

Dad, you've got to do
something about Vanessa.

She's upstairs
sobbing on her pillow.

Yeah. She's been a little down.

A little down?

Dad, I've never seen
anyone so depressed.

I just went into her room, and I
asked her if I could borrow a pencil,

and she said, "Pencil?
Who cares about pencils?"

"Who cares about anything?"

Dad, we cannot bring her to Washington.
She's gonna ruin the whole trip.

She's going to go to
D.C. She'll snap out of it.

Dad, what is she doesn't?

We're going to
our nation's capital.

There are gonna be people
from other countries there.

Now, if they see Vanessa, they're gonna
see the wrong impression of America.

[phone rings]

Huxtable residence.

Yes, we placed the ad.

Well, he looks something like
that, but I doubt he's your dog.

Well, I just don't
think he's your dog!

Hello?

Yes, this is the parent of
the person you just talked to.

Yes, sir.

Yes.

That is correct.

Okay, I'll give it a try.

Squeakers!

[laughs]

Yes.

Hi, Rudy!

Hi, Squeakers!

[making noises at dog]

How's everything going?

Not too good.

He's very sad
because he's leaving.

He really is sad?

Well, I'm sure the person who
called about him misses him.

Just like I will.

Yes, you're gonna miss
him. But I'll tell you what.

When he gets to his home, I'll bet you he's
gonna tell all of his other dog friends.

He's gonna say, [pants]

"I was with Rudy Huxtable."

[pants]

"And she let me eat what I
want. And I went in her kitchen."

[pants]

"And went in her yard."

"And she was crying when I left,
and I know somebody loves me."

Can I get him something
to eat before he leaves?

Sure, and while you're
at it, I'll write up his bill.

Okay.

Vanessa? Huh?

You... you dropped the papers.

I know.

Are you gonna pick 'em up?

Oh, I'll get to it, Dad.

[sighs] I just gotta
rest a minute.

- Vanessa?
- Yes, Dad?

I don't want you to mistake
my calmness for patience.

Dad! No, no, no, no!

Sit down! Let me finish.

Now, for two days I've
watched you sulk and mope

and walk around here
acting very, very sad,

and I let you do that because...

you wanna be sad? Okay, fine.

But now you're depressing me.

If you want to be sad, go
up to your room, be sad,

put on sad music, put on sad
clothes, dance around the room sad,

have a sad fest.

Yes, Dad.

Now tomorrow... is another day.

You're going to
wake up with a smile,

and you're going to smile,

and you're gonna put
on your smiling clothes.

You're gonna play smiling music.

You're gonna have a smile fest.

Because you're going
to Washington, D.C..

And you're going
to smile so brightly

that even the people from, as
your brother says, "all nations,"

are going to look
at you and say,

"My, what a wonderful example
of an American teenager."

Do you understand me?

Now I want you to
pick these papers up.

That's much better. Thank you.

Uhh!

[sighs]

[doorbell rings]

Oh!

Hi. Dr. Huxtable?

Yes. Please come in. Thank you.

And you must be the Chevets.

Yes. I'm Tony.

This is my wife Marta
and our daughter Nina.

Hi. How are you?

We brought you something
from our orchard in Bedford.

Oh, thank you so much!

I'll get the dog for you.

Rudy!

Squeakers!

Thanks a lot for taking
care of him for us.

Well, we didn't do that much.

Bedford? Isn't that
50 miles from here?

Yeah. We figured he must
have gotten on one of our trucks

that makes deliveries down here.

Rudy, we'd love to have
you come and visit sometime.

We could play with Squeakers.

I'd like that.

Nina, honey, we have to go now.

Wait. Can I say
good-bye to Squeakers?

Sure.

Good-bye, Squeakers.
I'm gonna miss you.

- Well, thank you very much.
- You're welcome. Take care.

- Bye-bye.
- Bye, Rudy.

[Cliff] Bye, Squeakers.

Bye.

Hello.

[sadly] Hello.

What's the matter?

- Daddy?
- Mm-hmm?

- I'm sad.
- Why?

I miss Squeakers.

But you have a dog.

- Who?
- You have a Daddy dog.

[laughs] You do.

[makes barking sounds]

Lord...

I've been with my children
now for four days alone,

and... I don't think
I'm going to make it.

I want my wife back... now.

I know that there are
people who ask for

bigger things than this, but...

I need my wife. So...

if you can, please
send her to me.

[knock on door]

Clair?

- Hi, Dad.
- Hi, Pud.

I miss Squeakers.

I miss Squeakers, too.

You know, maybe
when you're older,

your mother and I will
have a little meeting

and get you a dog
just like Squeakers.

I don't want one.

- You don't?
- They're too much work.

Well, if that's the
way you see it.

Can I sleep on
Mommy's side of the bed?

- Yes.
- Thanks.

- Hi.
- Come in.

Um, Dad, I'm sorry about
the way I've been acting.

Yeah, so am I, but it's okay.

I'm really looking forward to seeing Mom
and being with everyone in Washington,

and I promise I'll
have a good time.

Wanna get into bed?

Well, if it's okay with Dad.

Yeah, it's okay.

Okay, good.

Hey, what's going on?

We're keeping Daddy company.

- Yes, we are.
- Get into bed.

Rudy, I'm a little
bit too old for that.

You could watch TV.

Well, I think wrestling's on.

[Announcer on TV] We have
a real battle going on tonight.

The Baron has Texas Dan...

Ooh! Baron Von Crusher!

I like his hat.

This match will be over
in a second. Just watch.

[Announcer on TV] Texas
Dan is dazed. He's on the ropes.

I think I understand.

I don't have my wife...

but I don't have a dog.

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