The Brink (2015): Season 1, Episode 5 - Swim, Shmuley, Swim - full transcript

What the hell do you think they want, man?

- Calm down, Jammer.
- Down?

- What do they want, man?
- Get down on your knees. It's okay.

Get down on your knees.
Do what I do, Jammer.

It's okay. It's okay.

- I got something here.
- I got this, I got this.

- No!
- Put it down!

I got something.

No! Get on your knees now! I'm
looking for that fucking paper.

- Hey.
- Hm?

-Salam.
-Oh boy.



_

_

Oh God.

- It's not working, buddy.
- _

_

Might wanna put that down, buddy.

_

What now, Z-Pak?

Z-Pak?
Z-Pak.

- Z-Pak. -
Z-Pak.

- Z-Pak! -
Z-Pak.

Z-Pak!

Z-Pak!

Z-Pak.



Are you all right, buddy?

Whoo!

USA! USA!

- USA!
- Cut it out, Jammer!

Walter needs to know that
Raja's ready to make his move.

We need a secure line. The only
secure line is back at the embassy.

Oh, well, then we're screwed.

- No. You need to smuggle me in.
- Oh!

Hey, that's a great idea if you want to
get me fired, and you sent to Baghdad.

No, no, no one's looking for
you, they're looking for me.

- You're an employee, you have an ID...
- Who can't get within 50 miles

of the Ambassador's secure line.

I can't get hold of Fareeda.

- Did you try her cell?
- Yes, and the main line at the school.

There's no answer.

If there's going to be yet
another coup in the next 24 hours,

it's not safe for her
to be out on the streets.

- We need to go get her.
- No...

I need to go get her.

Uncle, I need to borrow your car.

Of course, and if on the way back you
can stop and pick up some salty snacks

before all the stores get looted.

For this coup, we are going to be prepared.

I'm coming with you.

Hey, it's my sister. It's my family.

- Now, give me the keys.
- No.

Okay.

Give me the keys.

Come on, please. Let me come.

You don't know the city. You don't
know the language. Give me the keys.

Give--
Give me--

- What the fuck are you doing?
- I love her, dude.

You don't love her... dude.

Get in the fucking car!

- I'm just gonna do it.
- A quick question for you:

Why do you feel the need to keep inserting
yourself into my family's affairs?

Calling Walter on my cell.
Secure line or not. Fuck it.

We are just gonna go pick
up my sister from the school

and we're gonna bring her back, all right?

Shh, it's ringing.

So any ideas you have
about dinner or dancing--

- Kendra Peterson.
- Okay! Hello! Hello!

Yes, it's, uh, Puck from
"A Midsummer Night's Dream,"

just passing messages of
the heart back and forth

and trying to save the enchanted forest

from total nuclear annihilation.

Sir, I think it's Alex Talbot.

Finally. How'd it go?

But it doesn't sound like
he's on a secured line.

- Shit.
- Yeah, call him Puck.

- Puck?
- Puck.

Okay, Puck.

So, did Grover Cleveland make
it home safe from the prom?

Yes, and when he got home, his
brown uncle tucked him into bed.

Oh, come on.

Don't make this weird. I
get it, package delivered.

Right, and our mutual friend

is very happy and he's gonna
be sending a thank you card

in 24 hours. Repeat,

24 hours.

Excellent work. You really came through.

TJ, step on it. Run some reds.

Oh, are you gonna tell them about the
submarine sandwich that you also promised him?

- Huh?
- Now is not the time.

Sir, one other thing.

Jesus is having me transferred to Baghdad.

Negative, I need you there
on the ground. Screw Jesus.

Sir, I'd love to screw Jesus,
but his butt is... too... tight?

I'm sorry, talking like this is hard.

- You don't work for him.
- You work for me,

and between you and me, Jesus
is eating his last supper.

Once this thing goes down, I'm
shipping Jesus out of the Holy Land

before he can fuck everything up.

- Excellent news.
- Good work, Puck.

Start boning up on your French.

Will do.

Wow, he's good at this. I completely
understood everything he was saying.

It is happening!

Christ, even I had my doubts we were
gonna be able to pull this fucker off.

Sir, are you sure we shouldn't
let the Israeli Foreign Minister

know you're on your way to see her?

- Israelis love surprises.
- Is that true?

- I don't care.
- What are you doing?

I'm not going in to see the
Israeli Foreign Minister like this.

Captain, please remove my catheter.

Sir, we can't do this here.
I need a sterile environment.

- Kendra.
- Yes, sir.

All right, ready?

On the count of three.
Ready? One, two--

Whoa, what the hell?

What's happening here? What is this?

Fareeda's school.

Is there any chance this is
what it looks like all the time?

- Fareeda!
- Shh!

You don't get to walk
behind me and hold a crowbar.

It's not my fault your legs
have a longer stride than mine.

Okay, fine, then you go around.

God damn it.

Go to the sound! You go towards the sound.

Shh.

You go to
the-- with the--

Then I'll-- You're the
one with the weapon.

- It's not that much of a weapon.
- Okay, then give it to me.

- No, get the fuck off of my weapon.
- Hey, give it!

- It's my fucking weapon.
- Let go of it!

In here!

Fareeda!

Let me go first. I have the weapon.

- Fareeda!
- Fareeda.

- I came as soon as I
heard. - Okay--

What happened here?

Zaman's militants. They
called in a bomb threat

and trashed the place
after everyone evacuated.

Cowards! You cannot stop women from
becoming educated and kicking your ass!

Cowards!

Shh!

What if they are not all
gone, and they can hear you?

I do not care.

Where is everyone?

The other teachers have taken
the girls home to their families.

I will personally slice
open Zaman's stomach

and watch his entrails
bleed into the sewer.

Ouch. Personally, I find smart,
aggressive women extremely attractive.

I hope that one day you find one.

Okay, can we stop the
chitchat? Mission accomplished.

- Let's go, eh?
- Hold on.

What?

These girls do not have anywhere to go.

They are coming with us.

Okay.

I still don't recognize any of this.

You said we crashed north.

We're heading north.

"North," that's a good movie.

Elijah Wood.

"Lord of the Rings."

Your turn.

If this is north...

how come the sun's setting...

on the right?

It is?

Oh, come on.

You're supposed to be the navigator.

"Flight of the Navigator."

That's a good movie.

Sarah Jessica Parker.

"Family Stone."

Your turn.

You realize you're the only person

playing that game, yeah?

What game?

We gotta get back to that plane...

or we're fucked.

There's no more water, man.

Wait a second.

That's it.

That's it.

- That's the hill.
- Huh?

That's the hill, Jammer. Come on.

Come on.

We're almost...

...home.

That's okay. That's okay.

Just hang in there, pal.

Just hang in there.

Sir, can I help you?

-Shalom.
-Shalom.

I'm United States Secretary
of State, Walter Larson,

here to see Foreign Minister Talia Levi.

Mr. Secretary, I don't
have you on the schedule.

Do you have identification?

I have my face.

This is a problem.

We need to clear you and your
team for security purposes.

Maybe we should just go back to
the hotel and try arranging this

through the proper channels.

Call Minister Levi. Tell her I'm here,

and if she wants to avoid a
meshuganah international incident

she better damn well see me.

Yes, Mr. Secretary.

All right, sir. Follow me.

Nice use of meshuganah.

What the...?

It's a car!

Car! Over here!

Okay, what are we gonna
do with these girls?

These girls are boarders.

Their families live way
out in the provinces.

I don't know where to take them.

It's okay, girls. This
is my brother, Rafiq.

And his... This is Alex.

Don't be afraid, little ones,

We're here to help you.

_

We must keep them with us until I
find another school that can take them.

- No problem.
- Oh, you got it all figured out, eh?

I do. We take them back to the US embassy.

My girls need a place to
sleep, not political asylum.

Temporarily. They have
food, a place to sleep.

They even have a school
for diplomat's kids.

I'm sure they'll take the
girls until things calm down.

Okay, Kittredge isn't gonna
exactly welcome you with open arms.

Yeah, he wants to send me to
Baghdad? Let him send me to Baghdad.

As long as the girls are
safe, that's all that matters.

You'd let yourself be
sent to Iraq for my girls?

Without hesitation.

Walter's firing Kittredge, isn't he?

- Yes.
- And then you get to go to Paris.

Would you just let me
have this moment, please?

I am not taking my girls to the US embassy.

Well, unfortunately, the US
embassy is all we have right now.

Let's go. We gotta get off the street.

Once Raja makes his move, there's going to
be rioting and demonstrations everywhere.

- Who's doing what now?
- Oh, you missed this.

Yeah, Alex came by the house the other
day and started another fucking coup.

But it's a good coup. Come on.

Uncle Alex is taking
everyone to a safe place.

_

_

This is insane. You're not
even supposed to be here.

I just need five minutes
with your prime minister.

You're wasting your time. Your president
instructed us to deal only with Pierce.

Fine. You wanna play hardball, Talia?

- Let's play hardball.
- Okay.

Let's talk military aid.

That's right. Let's touch that third rail.

Are you mad? Do I look like Latvia to you?

We're Israel. Israel.

Your Congress won't do
anything that would hurt us.

Trust me, arms can be twisted.

Plus, I'm mishpocha with
every Jewish senator--

Boxer, Schumer, Feinstein.

It's not the Jews who protect us.

It's Texas, South Carolina, Mississippi.

It's your right wing,
neocon super-Christians,

and they don't even like Jews.

They just need us here to keep the
lights on for their fucking messiah.

Please, neocons are easy.

You can buy off a neocon
with a handjob from a ladyboy.

...with Prime Minister.

On that note,
Walter, you need to leave. I'm sorry.

- Who's that?
- It's not important.

- No, seriously, what's her name?
- She doesn't have a name.

Walter, you need to leave, seriously.

I'm not leaving.

- No. What, what--
- I'm not leaving.

You're serious?

I'm sorry. I know it's a tight squeeze.

Just hang in there. Okay, girls?

Where am I supposed to sit?

I guess you could sit on my lap.

- Okay, come here.
- What?

I'm just gonna say it.

There's no way that your dick
is touching my sisters ass.

- Excuse me?
- Yeah, you heard me.

Well, then what do you suggest?

Please tell me you can drive a stick shift.

I'm sorry. This was not my idea.

I think everything below
my waist has gone numb.

I could shift a little bit if you'd like.

Yes, please.

No, no, no. There'll be no shifting, okay?

Thank you, big brother, but
I can handle this myself.

That's what I keep telling him.
You're a grown, independent woman.

I'll be the one to explain
that to him, thank you.

_

Okay, this is absurd.

You should be sitting in my lap.

- No!
- No!

Go ahead, call security.

I won't do that to you, Walter, or to me.

It's the prime minister.

Get out, Walter, seriously.

Pick it up.

I'll hit you. I'll hit you where
no one will see the bruises.

Hm, you're turning me on.

Telephone.

That is not my goal.

Unless you speak Hebrew, you
will gain nothing from being here.

- Fine. I'll go.
- Thank you.

Mr. Prime Minister, it's Walter Larson.

I need five minutes to
discuss this joint strike-op--

Ow.

...rectal cavity.

Prime Minister cannot
believe you would resort

to such a desperate and childish move.

He is intrigued. He will
give you your five minutes.

My office will arrange.

- Happy?
- Delirious.

Get the fuck out already.

- Fine.
- Go!

Cool.

Wake up.

Oh, look at them. They're stunned.

- Shocked.
- Speechless.

Dumbstruck.

Dumbstruck and speechless
mean the same thing.

They do not. You're not dumbstruck

if you win a BAFTA. You're speechless.

You won a BAFTA,

I'd be dumbstruck.

Thus proving my point.

Fetch the thesaurus!

Oh, I would if I thought I could find it

underneath all your Margaret Atwood novels.

- I can handle this.
- My Margaret Atwood novels?

I think you'll find you're the impotent
Margaret Atwood fan of this household.

Oh, as if appreciating the bittersweet
nuances of "The Handmaid's Tale"

makes me some sort of
emasculated male pushover.

You said it, my lovey. You said it.

Hello? Excuse me.

Love, I fear we're not
being very good hosts.

Oh, yes. How terribly,
dreadfully rude of us, darling.

You must have a thousand questions.

Yeah, one or two.

Like, what the fuck is going on?

Oh. So American, so direct.

I love it. John Wayne incarnate.

No, not John Wayne.

- Who's the other one?
- You're thinking of John Wayne.

- No, the little cowboy
chap-- - It's John Wayne.

No, I'm quite certain there's someone else!

Um...

Love, once again, I fear we're
forgetting to be good hosts.

Yes, well. You two must
be absolutely famished.

Food!

Oh god!

Please, do go at it.

Hands are nature's forks.

Gary fucking Cooper!

Yeah.

US Navy Commander Zeke Tilson
and Lieutenant Glenn Taylor

shot down over Pakistani airspace.

It's not known if the pilots survived.

Pentagon officials refuse to comment
on the nature of their mission.

Okay, this is it. Just be
polite, guys, and be cool, okay.

Take my hands, take my hands.

Hey, fellas.

Yeah, remember me? Lot's
changed since I saw you last

Do an old pal a favor. Tell Ambassador
Kittredge I'm here to see him.

How's that neck brace feeling?

Ouch.

It may seem like
3:00 in the afternoon,

but it is five minutes to midnight.

All I'm asking for, Mr.
Prime Minister, is time.

My guy in Pakistan will be in
power in less than 24 hours.

And in the meantime,
you want us to do what?

Nothing?

If you strike now, Avi, you'll go
down as the belligerent, not Zaman.

Walter, you know we always
show up to war one day early.

In '67 we took out the Egyptian air force

before it left the ground.

That's why it's called the Six
Day War and not the Seven Day War.

So, optimistically,
let's say you take out 90%

of Zaman's nuclear sites. I
never identified the target.

That 10% of enriched uranium you miss,

finds its way to the black market.

Cheap enough for
Al-Qaeda, or Islamic State,

or any of the other dozen
new groups that will spring up

the day after you launch
a large-scale strike

- against a Muslim country.
- Saba!

Your grandkids will inherit
an Israel that dirty bombs

have rendered a fallout zone.

Saba, say "go," okay?

I say "go." Whoever loses,

I'll eat their tushie, okay?

If Shmuley, with the white suit, wins,

I'll take your plans to my generals.

If Aaron, with the blue
suit, wins, I go with Pierce.

Huh? Wait.

Come on, Shmuley!

Swim, Shmuley! Swim!

Swim, Shmuley! Swim!

Swim! Swim! Swim, Shmuley.

Come on, you little son of a bitch, swim!

Swim!

God damn it!

Saba , I won. Did you see?

Walter, cheer up.

I'm just fucking with you.

Aaron always wins.

but I'll talk to my generals.

If all you need is less than 24 hours,

maybe we can hold off on whatever it is

we refuse to admit that we are planning.

Thanks, Avi.

You're a crazy bastard.
You know that, right?

I know, I know.

That guy's out of his fucking mind.

Darlings...

Sorry if we put you off earlier,

it's just been such a long time since
we've had any English-speaking company.

You guys happen to have
a phone around here?

Why? Are we boring you already?

Do you hear that,
Martin? We're boring them.

Well, then we'd jolly well
better try to be more interesting,

and the only surefire way of doing that

is to pour your guests more wine.

That boner guy is cool as fuck.

Oh, that is an Eritrean fertility sculpture

from the 14th
century BC--

Before Christ.

Extremely rare, exceedingly valuable.

Man, these meat things, they're delicious.

- Thank you.
- Cook it slow, cook it long,

- the taste-- - We're
not interested, Martin

So what are you guys? Like,
archaeologists or something?

We specialize in Egyptian
and Eritrean artifacts.

Yes, we deal in what you might
call the secondary market.

So all this stuff is stolen.

Oh, dear.

Now we shall have to kill
them.

Oh, we don't care what
you guys do for a living.

Everybody does what they
have to do, you know.

Nobody knows that better than me, right?

These samosas, Jesus Christ.

Thank you so much. The
secret is the sauce--

Right.

I am pretty certain that there's just a lot

of people out there
searching for us right now.

so we really need to get out of here.

Get back to our ship. If you have a phone,

we could really use it.

Man, you tried this? The way
the rice dances with the chicken.

Fucking A.

I'm afraid you can't leave.

What do you mean?

You can't keep us here.

Well, we don't have
to, now. Do we, darling?

There's a hundred miles of
rocks and... Taliban

out there as far as the eye can see...

in every direction.

Where would you go? You're quite
literally in the middle of nowhere.

Talbot. Mr. Ambassador,
before you send me to Baghdad,

- just hear me out. These
girls-- - Screw Baghdad.

Your butt is headed to Uganda.

That embassy doesn't even have a roof.

Fine. Send me wherever you want, but
these girls are dispossessed at the moment.

And they just need a
place to stay until they--

Talbot.

Shh.

Oh my.

One, two,

three, four, five,

- six...
- Seven.

Seven.

- It's here.
- Mr. Ambassador?

Oh, yes, of course. We have room here...

for these seven new friends.

I will arrange things...

to provide them with
accommodations immediately.

- Thank you.
- Don't talk. Just walk.

Don't talk. Just walk.

Just walk. Just walk.

Talbot, not you.

Come here.

That was totally unexpected.

It's begun.

Dear Lord.

It's begun.

If this doesn't work it's game over.

What is taking them so long?

I'm sure they're trying to
figure out a way to squeeze more

West Bank settlements into the deal.

Here he comes.

Walter, I sold your plan as best I could.

It wasn't easy, but I bought
you a few hours at the most.

That's all I need. Thank
you, Mr. Prime Minister.

Don't thank me. Just bring us results.

- Yes, sir.
- Pierce at 6:00.

Mr. Prime Minister.

Walter, what the hell are you doing here?

The President ordered
you to stay in New Delhi.

Your air strike's on hold. My
guy Haroon Raja's got the ball,

and he's at the one-yard line.

- You don't know, do you?
- What?

These are from a security camera,

taken today at the Frankfurt airport.

By the way, that's in Germany.

I think you'll recognize the
man fleeing with $80 million

as one Haroon Raja.

- Bullshit.
- Read 'em and weep, Larson.

Three aces in my hand
and fourth on the river.

Hell, by this time he's
probably halfway to...

well, not being the leader of Pakistan.

That's for damn sure.

Mr. Prime Minister, you
and I have work to do.

Walter, you have wasted my time

and Israel's with all this.

Go home, Larson. The adults
are handling things now.