The Brady Bunch (1969–1974): Season 1, Episode 20 - Brace Yourself - full transcript

♪ Here's the story
of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up
three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of
gold, like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four
men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪



♪ That's the way they all
became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ the Brady Bunch,
the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way they
became the Brady Bunch. ♪

MIKE: Hi, honey. Hi, Alice.

Hi, Mr. Brady. Hi, honey.

Where are the kids?

Oh, they're around somewhere.

Just hit the dinner bell,

they'll come out
of the woodwork.

Hmm, you know, I think I
just worked up an appetite.

Well, I didn't know my salad

shook you up like that.

How'd Marcia's appointment
go with the dentist?

They put braces on her.



MIKE: I was hoping that
wouldn't be necessary.

Well, the X-rays confirmed it.

They say if she
wears braces now,

it'll save her bite.

Well, if it had to
be, it had to be.

Cheer up, Mr. Brady.

They won't hurt her
looks hardly at all.

Thanks, Alice.

Well, they say she
only has to wear them

for a little while.

Dr. Ruskin said
that the correction

isn't that difficult.

How's Marcia taking it?

Like a real trooper.

That girl hasn't said a
word since she got home.

I'm ugly, ugly, ugly!

( crying)

( mouthing words)

ALICE: Marcia!

Soup's on!

GREG: Yeah, I can hardly wait!

Me neither!

Oh, great!

Where's Marcia?

Oh, I just called her.

So did I, a couple of times.

Well, I'll go up and get her.

You and the kids
start without me.

Okay.

I can hardly wait to
see Marcia's braces.

Didn't she show them to you?

No.

Bobby and I
offered her a quarter,

but she wouldn't open her mouth.

Marcia.

( knocking)

Marcia.

What is it, Dad?

Honey, it's dinnertime;
we're all waiting for you.

Pass the butter, please.

What?

Uh... my teeth are sore.

Is it okay if I don't come down?

Alice made your
favorite spaghetti, honey.

That's very soft.

I'm not hungry.

Well, okay, you don't
have to come down now,

but if you get hungry later,

you can have your dinner
in the kitchen, all right?

Okay.

How's the spaghetti, dear?

I don't know.

Why don't you open your
mouth and chew some?

It tastes like lead.

These braces
even ruin spaghetti.

Honey, you'll get
used to them soon

and then everything
will taste normal again.

I'll never get used to them.

I hate them!

Marcia...

lots of children
have to wear braces.

Dr. Ruskin will
take them off soon

and you'll be
prettier than ever.

By that time, I'll be
an old maid... 20.

You only have to wear
them for a little while.

The school dance
is in two weeks.

I don't think I want to go, Mom.

Alan's going to be
very disappointed.

Well, how do
you think he'll feel

if he has to dance
with me all night?

Every time I smile, I'll look
like an electric can opener.

I don't think that's fair.

I mean, after all, you
did accept his invitation...

Braces or no braces.

I don't want Alan or
anybody else to see me now...

at least not with my mouth open.

Marcia... braces can't change
the feelings of a real friend

and they could never change
the feelings of those who love you.

Maybe you're right, Mom.

Well, your dress for the
dance will be ready tomorrow.

Do you still want
me to pick it up?

I guess so.

Maybe Alan will like me more

when he realizes what I'm
willing to go through for him.

That's my girl.

Now eat.

You know, it's not
going to be easy at first,

so we all have to be
very understanding.

Your sister's at an age

in which she's very
conscious of her looks.

You mean she's boy-crazy.

Yes, some people call it that

though there is nothing
very crazy about it

and someday you're going to make

that same wonderful
discovery, too.

Like you and mom did
when you met each other?

Yes, just like that.

Would you have married mom

if she wore braces?

Sure, I would.

She'd be just as beautiful
to me, and so is Marcia,

and that's what I want
you to reassure her of.

I don't think any
girls are beautiful.

That's because
you're not girl-crazy yet.

Marcia is not just a girl,
Peter, she's your sister.

I don't know if I could
tell her she's beautiful.

I never said that
to a girl before.

All right, then
don't say it now.

Just treat her like
you always have.

Ignore the braces.

Pretend they're
not even there, see?

Marcia's in there.

Daddy said to act natural

and I always barge in on Marcia

when she's in the bathroom.

It's locked.

Who is it?

It's me!

Can't come in.

Why not?

I'm brushing my teeth.

Well, I got to brush mine, too.

Remember, don't
look at her braces.

Cindy, look at me!

What for?

Tell me the honest truth.

Do I look... funny?

Of course not...
You look beautiful.

Thanks, Cindy.

But how do you
get the toothpaste

through all that barbed wire?

Marcia, I think your
braces are neat.

You haven't even seen them.

Billy Meekus wears them.

He's in my class
and his are neat.

Well, mine aren't.

He can make great bird noises

by whistling through them.

Sometimes he makes
noises without even trying.

Great.

Peter, you're late for school.

No, I'm not.

Oh, yes, you are.

Okay, see you later, Marcia.

Oh, yeah, braces are
great for magic tricks.

Billy puts a magnet
up to his braces

and runs it clean across
his mouth with his tongue.

He's a riot.

Peter!

Okay, I'm going.

Don't forget your milk, sweetie.

It's good for your... teeth.

Nothing will help mine.

Oh, hogwash. When those
braces come off of there,

you're going to be
gorgeous, just gorgeous.

How do you know?

'Cause I used to
wear them myself.

You look scrumptious

just like Cinderella. Turn.

I feel more like one
of the ugly stepsisters.

All the kids at the
assembly today stared at me.

You were just imagining it.

No, I wasn't.

Greg told a joke and I laughed

and I got my lip
caught in the braces

and everybody stared at me.

Well, you're just
self-conscious about it.

Like when you've got
a run in your stocking,

you're sure the
whole world is looking.

I saw Alan stare at me.

He made funny faces.

It's all in your head.

It's all my mouth.

Even my own family's
making fun of me.

Marcia...

I don't think I want to
go to the dance anymore.

Marcia, it's a woman's
privilege to change her mind,

but you change yours so
often, you're going to wear it out

before your 13th birthday.

Wow!

Is that your new
dress for the dance?

Mm-hmm. Do you like it?

Oh, it's divine.

Thanks.

Oh, I'm glad you told her.

She doesn't believe me.

Well, sometimes people
say things just to be nice.

Would we say things
just to be nice to you?

We're your brother and sister.

Then you didn't really mean it.

Of course, they meant it!

I wonder if I can
believe anything

anyone in this family
says to me at all.

Honest! It's a
real pretty dress.

Even if it doesn't
cover up your braces.

( sighs)

Marcia.

Marcia, you in there?

Alan's downstairs.

He wants to talk to
you about the dance.

I'm not going.

( sighs)

Well, if that's your decision,

I think you ought
to tell him yourself.

Can I write him a note?

( chuckling): Well, come on.

Honey, listen, let me give you
some advice, man to woman.

You're going to tell me

that braces won't make any
difference to my real friends.

Mmm-hmm, that's right.

Listen, did you know
that the encyclopedia says

that some of history's most
beautiful women wore braces

when they were young girls?

Did you know that Cleopatra,

some authorities
say, wore braces?

Cleopatra?

Wow!

Her braces must
have been gorgeous.

Yeah, and they've improved them

in the last few
thousand years, too.

See, there, you could
put a diamond in there

and a big pearl

and a big lumpy emerald
right in the middle.

Hi, Alan.

I'm glad you dropped by.

This is a very nice surprise.

Well, I'm glad you're glad,

because I have another
very nice surprise,

which isn't so very nice.

I can't take you to the dance.

Why not?

Well, my parents have to
go out of town next weekend.

So what?

I-I've got to go with them.

I don't believe you.

Honest! It's the truth.

You're lying!

You just don't want to be seen

with a girl who has
braces, like I do now!

I hate you, Alan Anthony!

I hate everybody!

But Marcia, honest...

Hey, you look like
an expectant father.

Well, I am.

Listen, is my daughter
gonna have a little trauma

or is it going to be a big one?

A little one.

I think she's over it already.

She stopped crying,
and she's invited Cindy

into the bathroom with her.

Hey, that's a good sign.

I wonder why Alan's
parents decided

to leave town at this time.

She didn't believe him.

Listen, maybe if you
had his mother call, hmm?

Oh, I don't think that
would do much good.

Right now, Marcia's convinced
that she's Dracula's daughter.

That makes me Dracula.

Sorry, dear.

Hey, how about
another boyfriend?

Hmm?

I mean, if someone else
invited Marcia to the dance,

it might restore her confidence.

Honey, where is she
going to find another boy

at this late date?

How about our address book?

We have a lot of
friends with sons.

Hmm... How about,
uh... Rosalyn Shaller?

She has a son, doesn't she?

Yeah, I think he's a
lieutenant in the Marine Corps.

Oh, yeah. He is a little old.

Little old, yes.

Well, um... how about,
uh, Mary Jane Reynolds?

She has a son
just the right age.

( laughing): Harold?

Well, he's always liked Marcia.

I'm sure he'd love to
take her to the dance.

Isn't he that shy kid?

Well, right... well, he'll
need a little encouragement.

Well, I think I'll
call Mary Jane.

( phone dialing)

Mike... suppose he
doesn't want to take her?

He'd better, or he'll have to
tangle with Count Dracula.

( giggling): Mike...
oh, Mike, stop it!

How did you get
the kink in your neck?

I gave Joey Michaelson
a karate chop.

And you got a stiff neck?

Well, then he gave
me a karate chop.

Oh. Say, isn't Joey

the boy that used to
have the crush on Marcia?

Yeah, but he swore off girls.

He likes karate better.

Well, it's less dangerous.

Why'd you ask me about Joey?

I was just wondering

if he might be interested in
taking Marcia to the dance.

Nah, no chance.

Ah, that's too bad.

Oh, it's a shame
she's not going.

Yeah, that is a shame.

All right, all right!

( sighing)

You sure are strong, Joey.

I got you down that time.

Too bad you don't
know about leverage.

You'd be a great wrestler.

What's leverage?

Well, it's applying force
with a lot less pressure.

We studied that in physics.

You know, you're the worst
student in the whole class.

You keep telling me that.

Well, it's true.

Okay, so it's not
my best subject.

That's why I asked you to
help me study for the final.

I changed my mind.

Why?

I guess I don't have the time.

Greg, if I flunk physics,

I'm going to lose my
place on the wrestling team!

How bad do you want it?

Real bad!

Well, they say every
man has his price.

Hi, Alice.

Hi.

That'll be $8.21.

Uh-huh... thank you, Eddie.

What's wrong?

Very little.

You'll do just fine.

Keep the change.

$1.79?!

$1.79.

Wow! That's the
biggest tip I've ever got!

Well, there's lots more
where that came from.

Just for delivering groceries?

Not exactly.

( doorbell rings)

That must be Harold.

Yeah.

I'll get it.

Mr. Brady?

Uh, yes. Who are you?

Eddie, the delivery boy.

Oh. What do you got?

Well, I didn't bring any
groceries, Mr. Brady.

I came to see Marcia.

You did?

Yes.

Aren't you going to let me in?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Come on in.

Eddie, what are you doing here

at this late hour?

I got here when you told me to.

Isn't that nice?

Well, suppose I go
upstairs and get Marcia.

Wait a minute, Alice.

I think you'd better
let me handle this.

Of course, Mr. Brady.

Well, I'll be upstairs
with the other children

in case there's any
good news to tell.

Um... come on, Ed, sit down.

( doorbell rings)

Uh, Eddie, I'm
expecting someone.

Now, you just make
yourself comfortable

and I'll be right with you.

Joey?!

Is anything wrong, Mr. Brady?

Uh, no, no. I was just
expecting someone else.

Come on in.

Greg, there's somebody
here to see you!

Well, I didn't come to see Greg.

Who did you come to see?

Marcia.

Joey, I think you'd
better come sit down.

You two know each other?

Yeah. Hi.

Hi, Eddie. Hi, Joey.

Evening, Mrs. Brady.

Hi, Mrs. Brady.

Sit down, boys.

( whispers): What's going on?

( whispers): I don't know.
I thought that they were...

( doorbell rings)

Oh, it's Harold.

Another county heard from.

Hi, Eddie. Hi, Joey.

Hi, Marcia.

Hi.

Harold?

What are you doing here?

I... uh... I...

Harold, why don't
you take a seat there

with the others in the bullpen?

Marcia, I think we ought to have

a little talk... alone.

Now?

Marcia...

Mother, please, you're
both embarrassing me.

Marcia...

Mother, please, I'd like
to see what they want.

Come on, honey.

We'll be in the den.

We should have told her.

Well, we tried to.

I guess it was a bad
idea to begin with.

No, it couldn't
have been that bad

if three people in
the same house

had the same idea.

Well, maybe it'll all work out.

Maybe only one of them
will ask her. Maybe...

MARCIA: So you've all
been bribed, all of you!

Good night!

( footsteps head upstairs)

I'd better go upstairs
and talk to her.

I'd better say something
to her male visitors

and I'm not sure what.

Miss, I'd like to
return this dress.

Oh, uh, doesn't it fit?

Oh, it fits... doesn't fit me.

Not that it matters.

Would you be interested
in something else?

( sighing): A volume
on child psychology...

Without braces.

Stop brooding, Mike.

Marcia's a very sensible girl.

She'll get over it.

I know.

The question is, can I get
over the disappointment?

Well, we did all we could.

Maybe too much.

There'll be other dances.

I guess you're right.

( doorbell rings)

Alice is there.

I'd better go.

The stag line may
be forming again.

Hi, Alan, how are you?

Hello, Mr. Brady.

What's new?

Nothing much.

Alice went up to get Marcia.

Your daughter sure
spends a lot of time upstairs.

( laughing): That's
the way girls are.

When are you leaving
with your parents?

We're not going; that's
what I came to tell Marcia.

You mean you are going
to take her to the dance?

You bet. That's
what I want to tell her.

Did you hear that, Marcia?

Yeah.

How much are they paying you?

Paying me? Who?

What are you talking about?

Why are you going to
take me to the dance?

Gee, Marcia, that's
a silly question.

Tell me, Alan, I want to know.

I want to take you to the
dance 'cause I like you.

I really like you.

Marcia, you act real crazy
sometimes, but you're still

the grooviest-looking
girl in the whole school.

Thanks, Alan.

Will you go with me?

I'm so happy, I could cry.

What, again?

That's what young
ladies are made of.

( chuckles)

Miss, Miss, yesterday I
returned a party dress.

Yes, I well remember.

It's black, white,
with a pink...

for a young girl.

You said it wasn't
quite your size.

Well, have you sold it yet?

No, it's still here.

Oh, good. I want
to buy it back again.

You must have found your
volume on child psychology.

No. It's just that Alan's family

decided not to go
out of town after all.

See what happened was...

If it ends well, there's
no need to explain.

And I'm sure it will end well.

If the girl wears this...

She'll look like a dream.

Ar-Are you real sure
you want to go with me?

Of course I do.

Why shouldn't I?

I flew over the
handlebars of my bike...

nearly knocked all my teeth out.

I've got to wear these things

until the roots
get strong again.

( giggling)

You know, I'd go
through it all over again

just to see the
expressions on their faces

as they went out the door.

I felt like crying.

( chuckles)

That must run in the family.

Mike... Hmm?

Would you love me if
I had to wear braces?

Every chance I got.

( chuckles)