The Brady Bunch (1969–1974): Season 1, Episode 17 - The Undergraduate - full transcript
Greg has been acting strange of late. This behavior coincides with his mathematics mark plummeting, especially in the fact that he, usually an A-student in math, got an F on his last test. Carol thinks that the two issues may be associated, and perhaps he is sick. When Alice finds a note in Greg's book, they learn that Greg is sick, but not quite the way they had originally thought: he's lovesick, the note being a love letter he wrote to a girl named Linda. Mike and Carol want to help Greg in dealing with his puppy love and by association his lack of focus in math class without letting on that they know about the love letter. This approach doesn't seem to open Greg up to talking about the issue, so they figure they have to find out more about the Linda of his affections. After much searching, they do find Linda, but she's not quite who they expected. Ultimately, a friend of Greg's math teacher, Miss O'Hara, may be able to help Greg refocus his priorities back on math.
♪ Here's the story ♪
♪ Of a lovely lady ♪
♪ Who was bringing up ♪
♪ Three very lovely girls ♪
♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪
♪ Like their mother ♪
♪ The youngest one in curls ♪
♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪
♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
♪ They were four
men living all together ♪
♪ Yet they were all alone ♪
♪ Till the one day when ♪
♪ The lady met this fellow ♪
♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
♪ That this group ♪
♪ Must somehow form a family ♪
♪ That's the way they all
became the Brady Bunch ♪
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
♪ That's the way they
became the Brady Bunch. ♪
Greg?
Greg, do you feel all right?
Oh, hi, Mom.
You okay?
Sure.
Well, then, how come you didn't
go to the movies with the boys?
I just didn't feel like it.
Hmm. You wait right there.
I feel fine, honest.
I was just... thinking.
Open up.
Do you hurt anyplace?
I told you...
Shh. Don't talk with a
thermometer in your mouth.
Well, what's wrong with him?
He says nothing.
I feel fine... Shh.
How come he didn't
go to the movies?
He says he didn't feel like it.
Oh, say, Greg, did you
want your mother and me
to wash and iron everything
in the laundry chute?
Uh-huh.
He's normal.
Well, if he's normal,
how come he wants us
to wash and iron
his transistor radio?
( knocking)
Come in.
You busy, Dad?
Well, to be honest,
I've been looking
for an excuse to
take some time off.
Well, this won't take long.
That's too bad.
What's the problem?
Well, no problem really...
Just something you
have to sign for school.
All right, let's have it.
I don't like to be nosy,
but is it okay if I
see what I'm signing?
Don't you think
we ought to discuss
this a little bit?
Well, sure.
Well?
I flunked the test.
Oh, you did? I figured
that out when I saw the "F."
If you flunk a test, then you
have to have a parent sign it
and then take it back to school.
Greg, a discussion isn't
name, rank and serial number.
No, sir.
( heavy sigh)
You've always been
an "A" student in math.
How come that "F"?
I got the answers wrong.
I figured that out, too.
You better buckle
down, young man.
Yes, sir.
Having trouble in
any other subjects?
No, sir.
Okay, I'm not going
to make a big deal
out of this one test,
but, Greg, hit the books.
The grades will come up.
Okay.
Thanks, Dad.
Good night, son.
Hi, Marcia.
Hi.
Are you busy?
I got my heel caught
and ripped this darn hem.
Where's Jan and Cindy?
Down with Mom.
Uh... Marcia...
you're a girl, right?
Do you feel all right?
Boy, if one more person
takes my temperature...
Mom, huh?
Well, whatever you've
got, don't give it to me.
I haven't got anything, honest.
Do you mind if I keep hemming?
I want to wear it
to school tomorrow.
Marcia, you know how
girls feel about things,
right?
What things?
Like, uh... older men.
What about older men?
What do they look for?
Lots of things.
Like what?
Well, like...
Men should be rugged
like Steve McQueen...
The way he stands
like he's always
ready for something.
And you've got to dress
groovy like Gene Barry.
And it's great
if he's romantic
like Paul Newman.
But he should be sort of
innocent like Dustin Hoffman.
But, at the same time,
he should be a man of
the world like Dean Martin.
All at the same time?
Sure, but there's one thing
that's more important than
anything else nowadays.
What's that?
What's in...
what's really in is a mustache.
Are you sure?
Not a hair.
Get closer.
If I get any closer,
we'll both be wearing
the same pajamas.
Come over here.
The light's better.
Now look. Still nothing.
Hey, well, how
come I can feel it?
All I can feel is skin.
I guess you're...
Hey, wait. What's that?
It's a part of a chocolate bar.
Yeah, that's what it is.
Besides, nobody on the
freshman baseball team
can wear long
hair or a mustache,
and you want to
try out for the team.
Oh, I forgot about that.
What are you guys doing?
We're looking for something.
For what? A mustache.
Well, don't look at
me. I didn't take it.
Did you take Greg's
temperature again?
Yeah. He's normal.
Honey, the answer's obvious.
He flunked that math
test, and he's upset.
I hope you're right,
but there's a lot
of that Asian flu going around.
Mm-hmm. A lot
of jungle fever, too,
but not in the neighborhood.
Are you trying to tell me
that I'm being an
overprotective mother?
No...
Madam, you are
president of the club.
You two busy?
No, just reading the paper.
Anything wrong, Alice?
No, but I'd like you
to listen to something.
Go ahead.
"Shall I compare thee
to a summer's day?
"Thou art more lovely
and more temperate.
"Oh, my love is
like a red, red rose
"that's newly sprung in June.
"Oh, my love is like the melody
that's sweetly played in tune."
There's more.
No offense, Alice, but your
boyfriend, Sam the butcher
is stealing from William
Shakespeare and Robert Burns to boot.
Oh, Mike.
Don't pay any
attention to him, Alice.
Listen, Sam's a
very romantic fellow.
Mrs. Brady, Sam's
idea of romance
is two pounds of liver.
Heart-shaped... (
chuckling): Oh, Alice...
That'd make a
nice valentine's gift.
Well, I wouldn't
have read this at all,
but it fell out of Greg's book,
and when I picked
it up, I... Greg?!
What's that got to do with Greg?
Well, it starts "My
true love Linda"
and ends "eternally
yours, Greg."
That's why he's flunking
math... Puppy love.
And I've been taking
his temperature.
Mike, a boy's first romance
can be very, very traumatic.
Honey, I know it can.
I got over mine.
I'm sure he'll get over his.
Yeah, but did you flunk math?
No. She was in my history class.
She had blonde
hair and blue eyes
and she wore braces.
She always had a head cold.
I can't say much for
your taste in women.
It improved as I grew older.
Mike, Greg's miserable.
We've got to find
a way to help him.
Honey, you've
been raising girls.
Boys shrug these
things off more easily.
( sighs)
Mike.
Go to sleep.
I'll try.
Besides, it'd be stupid for
both of us to be up all night.
Good night, dear.
Good night, honey.
Incredible.
Oh, it's not that great.
On second thought,
it is incredible.
I'm talking about
Greg's school annual.
What's so fantastic?
There's not a Linda in it.
Impossible.
Every school has a Linda.
Stephanie, Joy, Nicole,
Lisa, Tiffany, Gigi,
Robin, Darlene...
No Mary?
Wow.
Talk about a generation gap.
( humming)
Hi, Mom.
Here's a kiss for you.
Hi, Mom.
Here's a kiss for you.
What are you
making, fudge or cake?
Cake.
Can I lick the bowl?
Sure.
Where's Greg?
Wasn't he supposed to
walk you home from school?
Uh-huh, but he had to
stay after school again
because of his math.
Math?!
What is it about math this year?
Let me see how you're doing.
Oh, here, Greg, right here.
It should be base ten.
Base ten.
You made the same mistake here.
I did?
Oh, I did.
Tell me, Greg,
what's giving you
the most trouble?
Math.
No, I mean in math.
It's hard to say.
( sighs)
Well, if you have no more
questions, you can go.
Yes, ma'am.
Maybe we should go
over it one more time.
Do you think it'll help?
Yes, ma'am.
I really think so.
All right, now...
using base ten, you
divide this number
into this one,
getting this answer.
( sighs)
You know, three
adults ought to be able
to solve this in no time.
Then how come we been
sitting here for an hour?
Well, we know that
Greg's problem is
that he's in love with
a girl named Linda.
The question is what's
the best way to handle it?
How about...
some more coffee?
Alice, that's no suggestion;
that's an evasion.
Yep, that's what
it is, all right.
Well, listen, I think
the best approach
is positive action...
Man-to-man talk.
I think you're right, Mr. Brady.
Uh, be subtle, dear.
Naturally.
Be tactful, dear.
Yes, naturally.
Be back, dear; we'll be waiting.
All right.
( knocking)
( sighs)
Hi, Greg.
Hi, Dad.
Your, uh... your brothers
around, are they?
No, they're watching TV.
You busy? No, sir.
Yeah. Greg... ( clears throat)
The reason I came up here is...
Well, uh... what
I mean, uh, uh...
( sighs)
You feel okay, do you?
Thermometer's on the sink.
No, no, no, I'm not going
to take your temperature.
Well, that's a relief.
Let's face it... You
have a problem, right?
In math. I'm working on it.
You've always taught us
to be self-reliant and to try
and solve our
problems on our own.
Well, that's some problems,
but now look, there are other
problems can best be solved
by talking it over with someone.
Like what?
Well, like, uh,
girls, for instance?
Well, now that
you brought it up...
Yeah, yeah?
How can I get Jan to
stop hogging the phone
and Marcia to stop
hogging the bathroom?
Those aren't girls;
those are your sisters.
Well, they sure act like girls.
Look, I'm referring to, uh...
well, to, uh, other girls.
Girls.
What other girls?
Well, other girls.
You know... you're a
teenager now, you know.
Yes, sir.
Yeah, and there
are certain things
that a teenager
should know about.
Dad... Yeah?
We already had
that talk, remember?
What talk?
That talk.
( gasps)
Oh. Oh, that talk.
Yeah. That... Where
are you going?
To get Peter.
I think you ought to tell him.
No, he-he already knows.
Bobby?
Let's not rush things.
Was there anything else?
No... no, I guess not.
Good night.
Strike out?
I'm not sure I even got to bat.
Well, if man-to-man didn't work,
why don't you try woman-to-man?
Oh, every time I go near
him, he opens his mouth
to have his temperature taken.
He just doesn't
want to talk about it.
I wish we knew
more about this Linda.
I mean, if she likes Greg,
and if she knows
that Greg likes her,
well, maybe we could help.
I wonder if he confided
in any of the other
kids about Linda?
Say, maybe he has, hmm?
No, that would be asking
them to break a confidence.
Yeah, and to worm it out of
them would be too sneaky.
Much too sneaky.
Hi, Cindy.
What you doing?
Feeding Kitty Karry-All.
Oh, Kitty Karry-All, huh?
You ever thought about
changing her name?
Nope.
Movie stars do it all the time.
Maybe they haven't got a
pretty name like Kitty Karry-All.
Frankly, to me she
looks like a Linda.
Well, to me she looks
like a Kitty Karry-All.
You got a name for this one?
Emily.
Now, this one
looks like a Linda.
It's a boy.
Aren't any of these named Linda?
Nope.
How about girls?
Do you know any
girls named Linda?
Nope. Why?
Well, it's just such
a pretty name,
it ought to belong
to a pretty girl.
Time for your nap, Kitty.
Give Linda a kiss good night.
Thanks a lot.
But a compliment wasn't
exactly what I was fishing for.
Aw, say, that car
is really beautiful.
What are you going to name her?
What do you mean?
Racing drivers always
name their cars after a girl.
They do?
Always.
Well, I'll think of one.
Maybe I can help you.
Nah; you'd want me to
call it Cindy, Jan or Marcia.
No, I wouldn't.
Yes, you would.
I think a good name
would be, uh... Linda.
Linda?!
Right.
That'd be dumb!
Why?
'Cause I don't know
anybody named Linda.
You're sure.
Positive.
Well, in that case, how
about Jan or Cindy or Marcia?
I knew it.
Boy, I just knew it!
What did you say?
I said what do you think
about the name Linda?
Why?
Well, because.
Because why?
Jan, will you stop answering
my questions with your questions?
Okay. Now...
how do you feel about,
uh, Linda for a girl's name?
Mom's going to have a baby.
Mom's going to have a baby!
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
Come back here!
Wait.
You were right.
Being sneaky never pays.
I know.
I've just spent five minutes
trying to convince Jan
that I'm not having a baby.
MARCIA: Mom, we're home.
I wonder who "we're" is?
CAROL: Hi. Hi.
We've got a school
project we're working on.
Oh, fine.
You know Randi and Hope.
Hi.
This is Linda.
Hi, Mrs. Brady.
Well, hi, Linda.
She hasn't lived here too long.
You just moved here?
A few months
ago... from Seattle.
Oh, I have a lot of
friends in Seattle.
Marcia, why don't you
take the girls on upstairs,
and Linda and I can have a chat
and get better acquainted.
Well, uh, do you like it here?
Okay, I guess.
You know, leaving
all my old friends...
That's kind of hard.
Well, I'm sure you've made
a lot of new friends here.
Yeah, I guess so.
A pretty girl like you?
You must have a
lot of boyfriends.
You mean here or in Seattle?
Here.
Well... there's one boy I like.
The only problem is he
doesn't know I like him.
Oh, I'm sure he does.
I'm positive.
Well, you see, he's kind of shy,
so I can't tell him how I feel.
Oh, well, I think you
should, right away.
You really think I should?
Definitely. It will
be the best thing
in the world for all of us.
I mean, for both of you.
( sighs)
Hi, mom. I'm home.
Oh, Greg.
Guess who's here?
Who? Linda.
Hi. Nice to meet you.
Hi. I'm a friend of Marcia's.
Oh. When's dinner?
Huh?
When's dinner?
The usual time.
See you.
MARCIA: Hey, Mom, send up Linda!
Sure. Uh... uh...
it's right up the stairs,
the end of the hall.
Nice to have met you.
Thanks.
( sighs)
Oh, hi.
Mike? Yeah.
You'll never guess
what happened.
I got the wrong Linda.
You'll never guess
what happened.
I got the right Linda.
What do you mean?
This letter's from
Greg's math teacher.
She wants to see
me tomorrow at 4:00.
What's that got
to do with Linda?
Look at the signature.
The signature?
It's from Miss O'Hara,
Miss Linda O'Hara.
Oh, no.
( knock at door)
Come in.
Mr. Brady?
Uh, yes. That's right.
I'm Linda O'Hara.
How do you do?
Well, I halfway expected
to see Greg chained to
one of your desks here.
I sent him on an errand
to the principal's office,
so we could be
alone a few moments.
Good. I appreciate that.
Won't you sit down? Uh, yeah.
I've been going
over Greg's records.
He's always been
a straight "A" student in math.
Well, until lately,
he has, yeah.
Please don't think
I'm prying, but...
is there a problem at home?
No, that's not
where the problem is.
Something's wrong.
I'm just not getting
through to him.
Oh, you're getting
through to him, all right.
A big problem a teacher faces
is getting her student involved.
Miss O'Hara, believe me
when I tell you he is involved.
Well, maybe it's a
personality clash.
Sometimes a teacher and
a student just don't hit it off.
No, you hit it off, honest.
That isn't where the problem is.
My boyfriend works a lot with
boys, teaching them baseball.
Maybe I should
discuss it with him.
Baseball?
Is that your fiancé parked
in a car outside the school?
Yes. He's waiting for me.
Miss O'Hara, I've got an idea.
Now, I'll be right back.
Don't go away.
Miss O'Hara, was that my dad
I just saw running
down the hall?
He'll be right back.
Was he mad or anything?
No, he was very understanding.
Lots of parents
ask dumb questions.
Relax. Yours didn't.
Hi, Greg.
Hi, Dad.
Honey, Mr. Brady
asked me to come in.
Greg, this is
Miss O'Hara's
fiancé, Wes Parker.
Hi, Greg.
Wow.
A real live Dodger.
First baseman, in
person... Golden Glove, too.
Would you like an autograph?
Do you spell that
with one "G" or two?
One.
I'll make a deal with you.
If you get an "A" in math,
you can trade that in for two
tickets to the season's opener.
Hey.
Two tickets to
the opener? Right.
I'll get an "A." Yes, sir.
Attaboy.
Come on, let's go, son.
Right, Dad. Bye, Mr. Parker.
No, call me Wes.
Bye, Wes.
Bye.
I'll be right with you.
Miss O'Hara, I'd like to
pay you a compliment.
You know, if I'd had a teacher
that looked like you,
I'd have gotten an "F," too.
CAROL: Greg? Dinner's ready!
Greg?
Greg, you feel all right?
I feel fine.
Let me feel your forehead.
I've got this substitute
teacher in biology.
She's got red hair
and blue eyes and...
Wow.
Mike.
Mike?
Mike!
♪ Of a lovely lady ♪
♪ Who was bringing up ♪
♪ Three very lovely girls ♪
♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪
♪ Like their mother ♪
♪ The youngest one in curls ♪
♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪
♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
♪ They were four
men living all together ♪
♪ Yet they were all alone ♪
♪ Till the one day when ♪
♪ The lady met this fellow ♪
♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
♪ That this group ♪
♪ Must somehow form a family ♪
♪ That's the way they all
became the Brady Bunch ♪
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
♪ That's the way they
became the Brady Bunch. ♪
Greg?
Greg, do you feel all right?
Oh, hi, Mom.
You okay?
Sure.
Well, then, how come you didn't
go to the movies with the boys?
I just didn't feel like it.
Hmm. You wait right there.
I feel fine, honest.
I was just... thinking.
Open up.
Do you hurt anyplace?
I told you...
Shh. Don't talk with a
thermometer in your mouth.
Well, what's wrong with him?
He says nothing.
I feel fine... Shh.
How come he didn't
go to the movies?
He says he didn't feel like it.
Oh, say, Greg, did you
want your mother and me
to wash and iron everything
in the laundry chute?
Uh-huh.
He's normal.
Well, if he's normal,
how come he wants us
to wash and iron
his transistor radio?
( knocking)
Come in.
You busy, Dad?
Well, to be honest,
I've been looking
for an excuse to
take some time off.
Well, this won't take long.
That's too bad.
What's the problem?
Well, no problem really...
Just something you
have to sign for school.
All right, let's have it.
I don't like to be nosy,
but is it okay if I
see what I'm signing?
Don't you think
we ought to discuss
this a little bit?
Well, sure.
Well?
I flunked the test.
Oh, you did? I figured
that out when I saw the "F."
If you flunk a test, then you
have to have a parent sign it
and then take it back to school.
Greg, a discussion isn't
name, rank and serial number.
No, sir.
( heavy sigh)
You've always been
an "A" student in math.
How come that "F"?
I got the answers wrong.
I figured that out, too.
You better buckle
down, young man.
Yes, sir.
Having trouble in
any other subjects?
No, sir.
Okay, I'm not going
to make a big deal
out of this one test,
but, Greg, hit the books.
The grades will come up.
Okay.
Thanks, Dad.
Good night, son.
Hi, Marcia.
Hi.
Are you busy?
I got my heel caught
and ripped this darn hem.
Where's Jan and Cindy?
Down with Mom.
Uh... Marcia...
you're a girl, right?
Do you feel all right?
Boy, if one more person
takes my temperature...
Mom, huh?
Well, whatever you've
got, don't give it to me.
I haven't got anything, honest.
Do you mind if I keep hemming?
I want to wear it
to school tomorrow.
Marcia, you know how
girls feel about things,
right?
What things?
Like, uh... older men.
What about older men?
What do they look for?
Lots of things.
Like what?
Well, like...
Men should be rugged
like Steve McQueen...
The way he stands
like he's always
ready for something.
And you've got to dress
groovy like Gene Barry.
And it's great
if he's romantic
like Paul Newman.
But he should be sort of
innocent like Dustin Hoffman.
But, at the same time,
he should be a man of
the world like Dean Martin.
All at the same time?
Sure, but there's one thing
that's more important than
anything else nowadays.
What's that?
What's in...
what's really in is a mustache.
Are you sure?
Not a hair.
Get closer.
If I get any closer,
we'll both be wearing
the same pajamas.
Come over here.
The light's better.
Now look. Still nothing.
Hey, well, how
come I can feel it?
All I can feel is skin.
I guess you're...
Hey, wait. What's that?
It's a part of a chocolate bar.
Yeah, that's what it is.
Besides, nobody on the
freshman baseball team
can wear long
hair or a mustache,
and you want to
try out for the team.
Oh, I forgot about that.
What are you guys doing?
We're looking for something.
For what? A mustache.
Well, don't look at
me. I didn't take it.
Did you take Greg's
temperature again?
Yeah. He's normal.
Honey, the answer's obvious.
He flunked that math
test, and he's upset.
I hope you're right,
but there's a lot
of that Asian flu going around.
Mm-hmm. A lot
of jungle fever, too,
but not in the neighborhood.
Are you trying to tell me
that I'm being an
overprotective mother?
No...
Madam, you are
president of the club.
You two busy?
No, just reading the paper.
Anything wrong, Alice?
No, but I'd like you
to listen to something.
Go ahead.
"Shall I compare thee
to a summer's day?
"Thou art more lovely
and more temperate.
"Oh, my love is
like a red, red rose
"that's newly sprung in June.
"Oh, my love is like the melody
that's sweetly played in tune."
There's more.
No offense, Alice, but your
boyfriend, Sam the butcher
is stealing from William
Shakespeare and Robert Burns to boot.
Oh, Mike.
Don't pay any
attention to him, Alice.
Listen, Sam's a
very romantic fellow.
Mrs. Brady, Sam's
idea of romance
is two pounds of liver.
Heart-shaped... (
chuckling): Oh, Alice...
That'd make a
nice valentine's gift.
Well, I wouldn't
have read this at all,
but it fell out of Greg's book,
and when I picked
it up, I... Greg?!
What's that got to do with Greg?
Well, it starts "My
true love Linda"
and ends "eternally
yours, Greg."
That's why he's flunking
math... Puppy love.
And I've been taking
his temperature.
Mike, a boy's first romance
can be very, very traumatic.
Honey, I know it can.
I got over mine.
I'm sure he'll get over his.
Yeah, but did you flunk math?
No. She was in my history class.
She had blonde
hair and blue eyes
and she wore braces.
She always had a head cold.
I can't say much for
your taste in women.
It improved as I grew older.
Mike, Greg's miserable.
We've got to find
a way to help him.
Honey, you've
been raising girls.
Boys shrug these
things off more easily.
( sighs)
Mike.
Go to sleep.
I'll try.
Besides, it'd be stupid for
both of us to be up all night.
Good night, dear.
Good night, honey.
Incredible.
Oh, it's not that great.
On second thought,
it is incredible.
I'm talking about
Greg's school annual.
What's so fantastic?
There's not a Linda in it.
Impossible.
Every school has a Linda.
Stephanie, Joy, Nicole,
Lisa, Tiffany, Gigi,
Robin, Darlene...
No Mary?
Wow.
Talk about a generation gap.
( humming)
Hi, Mom.
Here's a kiss for you.
Hi, Mom.
Here's a kiss for you.
What are you
making, fudge or cake?
Cake.
Can I lick the bowl?
Sure.
Where's Greg?
Wasn't he supposed to
walk you home from school?
Uh-huh, but he had to
stay after school again
because of his math.
Math?!
What is it about math this year?
Let me see how you're doing.
Oh, here, Greg, right here.
It should be base ten.
Base ten.
You made the same mistake here.
I did?
Oh, I did.
Tell me, Greg,
what's giving you
the most trouble?
Math.
No, I mean in math.
It's hard to say.
( sighs)
Well, if you have no more
questions, you can go.
Yes, ma'am.
Maybe we should go
over it one more time.
Do you think it'll help?
Yes, ma'am.
I really think so.
All right, now...
using base ten, you
divide this number
into this one,
getting this answer.
( sighs)
You know, three
adults ought to be able
to solve this in no time.
Then how come we been
sitting here for an hour?
Well, we know that
Greg's problem is
that he's in love with
a girl named Linda.
The question is what's
the best way to handle it?
How about...
some more coffee?
Alice, that's no suggestion;
that's an evasion.
Yep, that's what
it is, all right.
Well, listen, I think
the best approach
is positive action...
Man-to-man talk.
I think you're right, Mr. Brady.
Uh, be subtle, dear.
Naturally.
Be tactful, dear.
Yes, naturally.
Be back, dear; we'll be waiting.
All right.
( knocking)
( sighs)
Hi, Greg.
Hi, Dad.
Your, uh... your brothers
around, are they?
No, they're watching TV.
You busy? No, sir.
Yeah. Greg... ( clears throat)
The reason I came up here is...
Well, uh... what
I mean, uh, uh...
( sighs)
You feel okay, do you?
Thermometer's on the sink.
No, no, no, I'm not going
to take your temperature.
Well, that's a relief.
Let's face it... You
have a problem, right?
In math. I'm working on it.
You've always taught us
to be self-reliant and to try
and solve our
problems on our own.
Well, that's some problems,
but now look, there are other
problems can best be solved
by talking it over with someone.
Like what?
Well, like, uh,
girls, for instance?
Well, now that
you brought it up...
Yeah, yeah?
How can I get Jan to
stop hogging the phone
and Marcia to stop
hogging the bathroom?
Those aren't girls;
those are your sisters.
Well, they sure act like girls.
Look, I'm referring to, uh...
well, to, uh, other girls.
Girls.
What other girls?
Well, other girls.
You know... you're a
teenager now, you know.
Yes, sir.
Yeah, and there
are certain things
that a teenager
should know about.
Dad... Yeah?
We already had
that talk, remember?
What talk?
That talk.
( gasps)
Oh. Oh, that talk.
Yeah. That... Where
are you going?
To get Peter.
I think you ought to tell him.
No, he-he already knows.
Bobby?
Let's not rush things.
Was there anything else?
No... no, I guess not.
Good night.
Strike out?
I'm not sure I even got to bat.
Well, if man-to-man didn't work,
why don't you try woman-to-man?
Oh, every time I go near
him, he opens his mouth
to have his temperature taken.
He just doesn't
want to talk about it.
I wish we knew
more about this Linda.
I mean, if she likes Greg,
and if she knows
that Greg likes her,
well, maybe we could help.
I wonder if he confided
in any of the other
kids about Linda?
Say, maybe he has, hmm?
No, that would be asking
them to break a confidence.
Yeah, and to worm it out of
them would be too sneaky.
Much too sneaky.
Hi, Cindy.
What you doing?
Feeding Kitty Karry-All.
Oh, Kitty Karry-All, huh?
You ever thought about
changing her name?
Nope.
Movie stars do it all the time.
Maybe they haven't got a
pretty name like Kitty Karry-All.
Frankly, to me she
looks like a Linda.
Well, to me she looks
like a Kitty Karry-All.
You got a name for this one?
Emily.
Now, this one
looks like a Linda.
It's a boy.
Aren't any of these named Linda?
Nope.
How about girls?
Do you know any
girls named Linda?
Nope. Why?
Well, it's just such
a pretty name,
it ought to belong
to a pretty girl.
Time for your nap, Kitty.
Give Linda a kiss good night.
Thanks a lot.
But a compliment wasn't
exactly what I was fishing for.
Aw, say, that car
is really beautiful.
What are you going to name her?
What do you mean?
Racing drivers always
name their cars after a girl.
They do?
Always.
Well, I'll think of one.
Maybe I can help you.
Nah; you'd want me to
call it Cindy, Jan or Marcia.
No, I wouldn't.
Yes, you would.
I think a good name
would be, uh... Linda.
Linda?!
Right.
That'd be dumb!
Why?
'Cause I don't know
anybody named Linda.
You're sure.
Positive.
Well, in that case, how
about Jan or Cindy or Marcia?
I knew it.
Boy, I just knew it!
What did you say?
I said what do you think
about the name Linda?
Why?
Well, because.
Because why?
Jan, will you stop answering
my questions with your questions?
Okay. Now...
how do you feel about,
uh, Linda for a girl's name?
Mom's going to have a baby.
Mom's going to have a baby!
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
Come back here!
Wait.
You were right.
Being sneaky never pays.
I know.
I've just spent five minutes
trying to convince Jan
that I'm not having a baby.
MARCIA: Mom, we're home.
I wonder who "we're" is?
CAROL: Hi. Hi.
We've got a school
project we're working on.
Oh, fine.
You know Randi and Hope.
Hi.
This is Linda.
Hi, Mrs. Brady.
Well, hi, Linda.
She hasn't lived here too long.
You just moved here?
A few months
ago... from Seattle.
Oh, I have a lot of
friends in Seattle.
Marcia, why don't you
take the girls on upstairs,
and Linda and I can have a chat
and get better acquainted.
Well, uh, do you like it here?
Okay, I guess.
You know, leaving
all my old friends...
That's kind of hard.
Well, I'm sure you've made
a lot of new friends here.
Yeah, I guess so.
A pretty girl like you?
You must have a
lot of boyfriends.
You mean here or in Seattle?
Here.
Well... there's one boy I like.
The only problem is he
doesn't know I like him.
Oh, I'm sure he does.
I'm positive.
Well, you see, he's kind of shy,
so I can't tell him how I feel.
Oh, well, I think you
should, right away.
You really think I should?
Definitely. It will
be the best thing
in the world for all of us.
I mean, for both of you.
( sighs)
Hi, mom. I'm home.
Oh, Greg.
Guess who's here?
Who? Linda.
Hi. Nice to meet you.
Hi. I'm a friend of Marcia's.
Oh. When's dinner?
Huh?
When's dinner?
The usual time.
See you.
MARCIA: Hey, Mom, send up Linda!
Sure. Uh... uh...
it's right up the stairs,
the end of the hall.
Nice to have met you.
Thanks.
( sighs)
Oh, hi.
Mike? Yeah.
You'll never guess
what happened.
I got the wrong Linda.
You'll never guess
what happened.
I got the right Linda.
What do you mean?
This letter's from
Greg's math teacher.
She wants to see
me tomorrow at 4:00.
What's that got
to do with Linda?
Look at the signature.
The signature?
It's from Miss O'Hara,
Miss Linda O'Hara.
Oh, no.
( knock at door)
Come in.
Mr. Brady?
Uh, yes. That's right.
I'm Linda O'Hara.
How do you do?
Well, I halfway expected
to see Greg chained to
one of your desks here.
I sent him on an errand
to the principal's office,
so we could be
alone a few moments.
Good. I appreciate that.
Won't you sit down? Uh, yeah.
I've been going
over Greg's records.
He's always been
a straight "A" student in math.
Well, until lately,
he has, yeah.
Please don't think
I'm prying, but...
is there a problem at home?
No, that's not
where the problem is.
Something's wrong.
I'm just not getting
through to him.
Oh, you're getting
through to him, all right.
A big problem a teacher faces
is getting her student involved.
Miss O'Hara, believe me
when I tell you he is involved.
Well, maybe it's a
personality clash.
Sometimes a teacher and
a student just don't hit it off.
No, you hit it off, honest.
That isn't where the problem is.
My boyfriend works a lot with
boys, teaching them baseball.
Maybe I should
discuss it with him.
Baseball?
Is that your fiancé parked
in a car outside the school?
Yes. He's waiting for me.
Miss O'Hara, I've got an idea.
Now, I'll be right back.
Don't go away.
Miss O'Hara, was that my dad
I just saw running
down the hall?
He'll be right back.
Was he mad or anything?
No, he was very understanding.
Lots of parents
ask dumb questions.
Relax. Yours didn't.
Hi, Greg.
Hi, Dad.
Honey, Mr. Brady
asked me to come in.
Greg, this is
Miss O'Hara's
fiancé, Wes Parker.
Hi, Greg.
Wow.
A real live Dodger.
First baseman, in
person... Golden Glove, too.
Would you like an autograph?
Do you spell that
with one "G" or two?
One.
I'll make a deal with you.
If you get an "A" in math,
you can trade that in for two
tickets to the season's opener.
Hey.
Two tickets to
the opener? Right.
I'll get an "A." Yes, sir.
Attaboy.
Come on, let's go, son.
Right, Dad. Bye, Mr. Parker.
No, call me Wes.
Bye, Wes.
Bye.
I'll be right with you.
Miss O'Hara, I'd like to
pay you a compliment.
You know, if I'd had a teacher
that looked like you,
I'd have gotten an "F," too.
CAROL: Greg? Dinner's ready!
Greg?
Greg, you feel all right?
I feel fine.
Let me feel your forehead.
I've got this substitute
teacher in biology.
She's got red hair
and blue eyes and...
Wow.
Mike.
Mike?
Mike!