The Big C (2010–2013): Season 4, Episode 1 - Quality of Life - full transcript

[Siren wailing]

[Voices speaking Spanish]

Angel?

Angel.

[Sirens wailing]

[Voices continue indistinctly]

[Flatline]

It's weird, because you think
ashes are gonna be more like--

Ashes?

Yeah, but...
I don't know--there's just--

there's chunky stuff in it.



Well, ashes to ashes,

dust to chunky matter.

It's bits of bone.

You know, bone and, um...

What if some of it's left over

from whoever
was cremated beforehand?

Oh, come on, that's morbid.

Y'all are morbid.

I'm depressed, Marlene.

Can't relate.

I'm so thrilled
to have my boy back.

I'm sorry I couldn't make it
to your funeral ten feet away,

Thomas, but my bones
are cold from the inside out.

Oh, it sounds like you've got
your crap-colored glasses on.



What do you want
your epitaph to say?

[Dog grumbles]

You think you've fulfilled
all your goals?

Did you have any goals?

What about, "Thomas...

he once shit where he lay
and didn't seem to notice"?

How about, "Lucky me,
I had no idea I was sick"?

Oh, cheer up.

At least your surgery
got you a sensible new hairdo.

Every time I look at it,
I just--

I just think about
those doctors inside my head,

touching my brain wrinkles.

Would you have preferred that
they left those mets in there,

- pressing on your brain?
- Maybe.

Honestly.

I mean, if they're what's
responsible for that...

that dream,
that hallucination--

whatever it is
you want to call it--

that made me feel like
I was on a boat in the sun

eating oranges,
that angel was real...

I mean, if that's what happens
when you're about to die,

you just get to experience
some beautiful dream...

instead of feeling like this...

Maybe.

Great.
Now I'm depressed.

How'd it go?

Our friend is buried.
We have said our good-byes.

Adam actually said
a nice little prayer--

quite lovely.

Oh, that's great.

You know, I...
I bet he's with Marlene.

You should write,
"Thomas ate shoes."

Or, "He may be gone,
but he left his odor."

I'll see you guys later.

- Where are you going?
- Soccer practice?

- Oh, right.
- I'll drop you off.

I'm headed back to the dorms.

Dorm life was
my favorite part of college--

- just a carefree utopia.
- Oh, I know.

My roommate and I
are decorating our room

so it looks like a club--
disco ball, the whole thing.

Super fun.

Oh, that makes me
so happy, Andrea.

Thanks for letting me
do my laundry here, though.

Yeah, thanks for actually
washing your clothes.

I did all of your laundry
while I was at it, Mrs. J.

- You didn't have to do that.
- It was there.

Plus, it was worth it
to see Adam's cock.

Whoa!

- What?
- Huh?

I know those were
your rooster boxers.

Uh, there are
multiple roosters,

so it would be "cocks."

- I'll drive.
- No, you will not.

- No!
- No, you will not.

Why? I get my license
in, like, a week.

Well, speaking of which,

what do you want to do
for your sweet 16?

I want to get my license

and have you stop calling it
a "Sweet 16."

Don't you want a party?

No.
See you guys later.

- See ya.
- Bye.

I think we should throw him
a party.

He wants to get his license.
You know, I think that's enough.

A little dinner, you know?

How you doing?

Filled with dread.

I have these waves of panic,
and I think,

"Oh, my God, what,
is someone stuck under a car?"

And then I think,
"Oh, no, no."

I just have my next round
of chemo in four days.

What can I do?

Come here.

If you are going
to sleep on the couch,

just fold the covers neatly
when you get up.

Okay.
I can make my couch.

I got it.

It's just I'm still so tired
from my last round.

Why don't you go to bed?

Yeah, well, but if I just
keep going to sleep,

I might as well be dead.

You know,
please don't talk that way.

You know,
I know this chemo is tough,

but it's keeping you alive.
You got to...

What?

Well, you have to focus
on the positive.

You know.
You have to, um...

You want to say it.
Just say it.

Flip that switch.

Knock, knock.
Everybody decent?

Yes, we are.
Come on in.

Hi, Amber.

Got the prototypes
for the "Flip That Switch" lamp.

There's, like, 20 of 'em.
I put the rest in the garage.

Oh, wow.
Let's take a look.

How are you doing?

Fantastic. Thanks for asking.
How are you?

Uh, so good.

I read the first chapter
of Paul's book last night.

I thought it was just gonna be
like your lecture in print,

but you go
so much deeper than that.

And I'm not just saying that
because you're my boss, Paul.

- Oh, thank you.
- Really, it's excellent.

Oh, my God, I mean,
I could cry right now

just even thinking about it.

I couldn't quit
tweeting about it.

- Uh, no specifics, though.
- Huh.

- Well, these turned out great.
- Amazing.

Huh?

Awesome.

- That's kind of cool.
- Cute.

Where are you going?

I was just--
I'm gonna go work

on my lesson plan for tomorrow.

Who am I kidding?
Good night, everybody.

It's a...

Pedicab.

Okay.

Look, I love being
your personal chauffeur.

Your chemo treatments, school--
I really want to be that guy,

but, Cath, I can't drive
your car anymore.

I'm calling bullshit on myself.

I can't pollute.
I give a hoot.

So, I, uh--

I made the bartering deal of
the century, and I got us this.

We just have to leave, you know,
a little earlier than usual.

I got you a blanket.
There you go.

[Grunts]

Cathy.

Connie.

You don't seem happy.

I'm happy.

I'm so--I'm so happy.

Is that all?

Well, we've been poring over

the results of last year's
standardized tests,

and they indicate
that some of our students

are not testing well
in history.

Which students?

Your students.

Interesting.

Now, we're aware that since
you got sick,

you've been playing
a little fast and loose

with the curriculum.

No, no, no, I-I-I teach
the curriculum, Connie,

and then I use it
to springboard into--

Different subjects.

My freshmen reenacted
the battle at wounded knee.

My seniors--

they wrote stump speeches

and then performed them
on stumps.

Canst we not have funeth?

You had all your students
do mail-order DNA tests.

Which I paid for.

It's not history.

Personal history.

Turns out two of my white kids
are blacker than my black kid.

If you think that didn't provoke
interesting conversation,

you'd be wrong.

[Sighs] You need to teach...

To the test.

Good old American history

from the textbook.

So, unfortunately,

we will not be designing

our own family crest today
as planned.

[Students groan]

No, I know.
I know. I'm bummed too.

Instead...

we have to get
through this book.

So...

page 540...

The Civil War.

A lot of good things
came out of the civil war.

Of course, everyone
who survived it is dead now.

Lessons about dead people
taught by the dying.

Okay.

Chapter 17!

Oh!

Thank you for joining me.

Hope you were
up to something fun.

Surfing the web for future
vacation destinations.

May I recommend Puerto Rico?

You're a little anemic.
How you feeling?

Anemic.

Steak for breakfast
wouldn't hurt.

Get some iron pills.

Does that explain
why I'm exhausted all the time?

I can write you a prescription.

And I-I--
oh, I'm pretty sure

those antidepressants
you gave me are not working,

unless they're supposed
to make me more depressed.

Maybe you gave me
ampi-depressants

that amplify my depression.

Do you think you did that?

They take about
three weeks to kick in.

Well, I-I think it's been

about three weeks or--
God, who knows?

Chemo makes me so forgetful.

Well, it's doing the job--

shrinking the mets
we couldn't get with surgery,

- which will buy--
- Buy me more time.

- Look, I'm still trying to figu--
- Here, that's for the--

that's for the iron.

Oh, and I think
I'm seeing the angel of death.

I mean, is--is that--

is that due to the mets,
or am I just crazy?

Or am I being summoned?

I mean, do you have
any other patients

who talk about seeing him?

He's got...

this black hair--
it's curly.

Kind of sexy, but married.

Sounds like
an active imagination.

Uh, excuse me.
Wait a minute.

[Sighs]

Did you just sigh?

What is it, Catherine?
What do you want?

Just a few more seconds
of your time, please.

I don't have the time
right now.

- Well, you need to find it.
- Fine, Cathy.

Do I think the mets
are causing hallucinations?

No, not based
on their location.

What else?

How much time exactly
is this chemo giving me?

I don't know.

- What--six months, a year?
- Possibly.

If I don't do the chemo,

is it possible I could
still have that much time?

Is it possible?
Yes.

There are a lot of things
that are possible.

Look, Cathy,

the chemo is doing
what we want it to do.

If it were me,
that's what I'd be doing.

Good news--
it's not you.

Now, are we done?

Or do you have more questions

that I've already given you
the answer to?

Oh, well, excuse me.
I'm so sorry to be so annoying.

But don't worry--
I'll be out of your life soon,

since I'm dying.

Which makes you special how?

I have other patients
I have to see.

[Door closes]

At least I could be myself
with my doctor--

admit I was depressed.

Yeah, but then he went
all asshole on you.

He sure did.

I guess now I'm gonna have
to put on an act for him too.

"Oh, I just--
I'm so happy."

- [Laughs]
- "I'm so happy

"that I live in an age
where I can enjoy

"the fruits of medical science.

I-I love chemo."

Well, who else
can you be honest with?

You're not enough?

[Laughs] Oh, no.

I am great.

I am great, I give you that,

but just someone you've had
a longer history with

and aren't paying

could be a real asset.

Well, it can't be Adam.

And Paul thinks if you
fake a good attitude,

you'll live forever.

Oh, that could get
really annoying.

Oh, you think?

What's even
more annoying, though,

is that basically Paul
asked me for a divorce

before I passed out
in Puerto Rico.

So, the way I see it,

he's just waiting
for me to die to move on,

which on some level,
I respect, but...

but then he wants me
to stay positive

so I'll live.

Ironic, huh?

Yep.

You know,
the chemo killed my taste buds.

It's like eating
five pounds of play-doh.

How do you think I feel?

I'm giving up vegetarianism
to iron-load with you.

- I hate my doctor.
- Me too.

Thank you.

I hate feeling bad
all the time.

Well, I don't know
how you do it.

Thank you.

You know, doctors are so cocky

'cause people treat them
like gods,

but they're not gods.

Not even God's a God.

I'm--I'm never
gonna finish this.

Well, at least
this is cooked through.

You remember those barbecues
we used to go to at the Ilson's?

My God,
those people were so rich.

No, they weren't that rich.
But Mr. Ilson--

he never cooked his burgers
all the way through.

It was like--it was like
blood and guts on a bun.

Like, "Moo!"

[Chuckles] I just remember...

Gwen Ilson had one of those
giant giraffes in her bedroom.

She'd never let me pet it.

Well, she never
let me pet her either.

You know, I think those burgers

are what turned me off meat.

Fuck Mr. Ilson.

Yeah, fuck Mr. Ilson.

And fuck Dr. Sherman.

And fuck Dr. Sherman.

Both:
And fuck Gwen!

[Rap music playing]

Hey. How are you?

Okay...

Except I can't find
my earrings.

Oh, that sucks.

I don't think you guys
are supposed to smoke in here.

We disabled the smoke alarm.

You sure you didn't see
a pair of diamond hoop earrings?

They're really sparkly,

and I know how much
you love sparkles.

Nope.

Maybe you should clean up
your area a little bit.

Usually when I lose something,
I start cleaning,

- and then I can find--
- Are you saying I'm messy?

I didn't hear myself say that.

I think it was implied.

Okay,
I'll put it this way--

you are messy.

I didn't see your earrings.

[Whispering] But I did see

your herpes medication
in the bathroom,

in case you're looking for it.

♪ ♪

Come on, you can do it.
It's--it's just one little bite.

Just put it in your mouth.

Yes, all right.
Now--now--now--now swallow.

Swallow.

Swallow...

Are you a swallower?

Don't answer that question.

- Yes! Whoo-hoo! Hoo! Yeah!
- Uh-huh!

[Applause]
Yeah! We did it.

Two winners here,
ladies and gentlemen!

Winners!
Free burgers for us!

What's the matter?
You okay?

[Breathing heavily]

Cathy.

[Vomiting, people gasp]

[School bell rings]

[Screams]

I'm so sorry.

- I thought you were dead.
- No, it's just...

I'm sorry.

Can I help you?

I'll come back later.

You're scaring the children.

I have parents calling me
asking what's going on.

Tell them I had brain surgery.

I--they cut my hair.
I'm not used to it.

Just--just think
about a leave of absence,

and then when you're finished
with your chemo

and you're feeling better--

You want to hear
something funny?

I may not feel better, Connie.

This may be
as good as it gets for me.

And maybe it's okay to scare
the children a little bit.

Maybe it'll be good for them,

so--so that when they--
[Sighs]

When they lose
their grandmother

or, God forbid,
they have to watch their mom

or their dad
suffer through chemo,

it won't be so terrifying

or hurt quite so bad.

I really feel for you.

I don't need
you to feel for me.

I need you to let me
come here every day

and do my job as best I can.

It's the everyday things
that are keeping me going,

and I need to keep going
until Adam graduates next year.

That's my goal.

My cancer handbook
told me to pick a goal,

and that's mine.

Well, that's the other thing
I wanted to talk to you about.

[Students chattering]

Adam. Adam.

- You're failing chemistry?
- I don't know.

Yes!
You are failing chemistry.

Surely this does not come
as a surprise.

Apparently,
you failed two quizzes,

and you didn't turn in a third.

- Mom, I'll make 'em up, okay?
- Let's go.

I can't.
I have soccer.

[Gasps]

You do not get to be
on the soccer team

while you're failing a class.

Grades first, then sports.
Home.

No.

Over my dead body
are you not graduating on time,

and I'm in a unique position
to make good on that threat.

Here you go, guys.

Jeez.

Whoa. You okay?

I'll catch up
with you guys later.

Damn it.

How you doing?

Great.

Adam said that you
pulled him off the soccer team--

you know,
kind of put on a big show

in front of all his teammates.

Oh, did he call it a show?

I didn't even sing.

Not funny.

He's failing chemistry, Paul.

If he gets his grades up,
he can play soccer.

Yeah, but big picture--
don't you think, you know,

he needs to have some fun,
you know?

Get out of the house?

Are we talking
about you or Adam?

I might be sleeping
on the couch, but I'm here.

Okay?

I'm here. And you don't get
to parent him by yourself.

You will.

What?

You will get to parent him
by yourself when I'm gone.

Why do you have
to talk like that?

And you'll get to consult
on all the really fun stuff--

picking a college.

You know, "This one
has the better sports team,

but that one
has the best weather."

You'll know who he marries.
You'll even get to weigh in.

"That Beth--she's a keeper.
I really like her."

So just give me
frickin' high school, okay?

Heya.

Jeez, Andrea, I didn't
even know you were here.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I just popped by to get
a flatiron I left here.

And then I started
running the vacuum cleaner

in my old room.

You know,
I am just like my mother.

Cleaning really helps me think.

So I ended up organizing
all of your linens and stuff.

Okay, I do not need you
to clean my house, Andrea.

[Chuckles] I know that.

You are--
you are welcome here anytime.

But let's not pretend
it's for any other reason

other than
you feel sorry for me,

or you think I can't do things
for myself.

You just call it like it is.

That's really not why--

You are a college student.

You should be out
having fun with your friends,

so just...

just leave.

Go! Have fun.

Hey.

This has my name on it.

I'm just telling you
so that nobody eats it,

'cause I brought in
a lunch the other day,

and I'm pretty sure
that somebody ate it...

accidentally, I'm sure.

Hey, Paul, do the rest
of those lamps work?

- Nope.
- Yeah, mine neither.

It's so weird.

I'm traveling
to Chicago next week--

give a couple talks,
meet my publisher.

Want me to cancel?

No, you should go,

because you also get to pay
for his college.

Seat number two is all yours.

Colon.

I smoked
all through med school.

I really thought
lung was gonna get me.

They're both pretty good.

I'm sorry about
your last appointment.

I was--

I was just having a bad day.

[Laughs]

You are not a God.

[Chuckles] I'm not a God.

Aren't you gonna tell
your patients?

I think I might have to.

I should've told you, but
I don't want to scare anybody.

Oh, that's--I've been
doing that a lot lately.

It's not fun.

It is kind of interesting

to see things through the eyes
of patients, though.

Oh, really?
Huh.

'Cause you didn't seem
that empathetic the other day.

Well, I'm still learning.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

Then can I ask you a question,

- patient-to-patient?
- What?

Does chemo give you the shits?

[Laughing]

I-I think that's why
I was late the other day

- when I was seeing you.
- Yeah.

I just feel like
a human juicer.

I mean, whatever goes in...

Right.

I can't believe I'm about to
ask you a question that I hate,

but why don't you just
take a break from work?

Just stay at home,

let that fabulous wife of yours
feed you grapes.

- That I can't taste.
- Exactly.

No. I wanted to be a doctor
all my life.

Oh, so you've always wanted
to help people physically

while abusing them verbally?

I'm not known
for my bedside manner.

Well, you're known for it,
all right.

Truth be told,

I love my job.

- I like the research.
- Hmm.

I feel like
I'm part of the solution.

People live, people die,
but I'm right in there.

Now I'm really in there.

[School bell rings]

I don't want
to do this anymore.

Okay.

And I'm not talking
about a leave of absence.

I'm quitting...

preferably today, unless
you need two weeks' notice.

No. No, that's okay.

We can get a sub for you
until we find someone permanent.

Good.

I'll just go grab my things.

Oh, I was wondering
if you could maybe gather

all my students
together in the library

so I could say
a quick good-bye.

Oh, I'd rather
we not interrupt them

in the middle of the day.

Oh. That makes sense.

Well, maybe we could
arrange something

for tomorrow
during homeroom, then?

Why don't you just go home
and figure out your new routine,

and we'll circle back on that
at another time?

You don't want me
to say good-bye?

Well, and we'll circle back
on that we'll think about it.

Mr. Bailey got a school-wide
assembly when he left.

None of his students
even liked him, but he--

he got to tell
the story of his life

and play the banjo,
for God's sake...

for a long time.

Mr. Bailey left
because he retired.

We planned for it.

Cathy!

[Door locks]

[Banging on door]

Cathy.

Cathy.

[Knocking on door]

Cathy.
[Pa beeps]

Good mor--good morning.
Good morning, everyone.

This is Mrs. Jamison,
the history teacher,

and I just wanted
to say good-bye...

to my personal students

as well as to the entire student
body of west hill at large.

Um, today...

today is the day that I--

that I say good-bye
to teaching.

Many of you may know that--

that I have cancer,
but that's--that's--that's--

that's not why I'm leaving.

I think much of what
we're required to teach you...

is just a bunch
of useless information

that you will never use again.

But--but that's not
why I'm leaving.

Cathy!
[Pounds door]

I'm quitting my job today

because I recently had
a conversation with someone

who really loves their job,

and I realize
I don't love mine.

I never even really wanted
to be a high-school teacher.

It's--it's something
my dad pushed me into

because he thought it was
a low bar I could clear,

but the truth is
it's a high bar,

and I am falling short.

And you may never remember
the battles I told you about,

the facts, the dates,
the--the wars,

but maybe by my quitting today,

you will remember
to be your best self.

You find something
you love doing.

You do not take the easy route
like Mrs. Stanley,

who has told me countless times

that she only became a teacher
to have summers off.

[Students laugh]

You know, I've always
really cared about my students.

I really love you guys.

But...

I'm going home.

I'm gonna spend more time
with the young person

whose adorable cheeks
I just--I want to squeeze

every time I see them--
my son.

[Students laugh]

And I'm gonna go
do things I love.

I'm gonna finish learning

how to play The Entertainer
on the piano,

which I was doing until my dad
stopped paying for lessons

because he didn't like
to hear me practice.

And I'm gonna eat a lot
of my favorite pie

from Kowalski's...
[Students laugh]

'Cause life is too short
to have weird food rules.

And I'm gonna
finally finish writing

an appropriate epitaph
for a lovely dog.

[Laughs]

So...
[Sighs]

here I go, to do my thing.

I think my antidepressants
just kicked in.

[Chuckles]

Mm-hmm.

[Sighs]
[School bell rings]

Mom.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Are you okay?

I'm really great, Adam.

I mean, I-I hope I didn't
embarrass you too badly,

but I'm really great.

You'd better watch out.

I'm gonna throw you
the coolest sweet 16 party ever.

Jesus, mom,
I don't want a party.

Well, I want to throw you one.

I have cancer,
and I'm doing it.

[Scoffs, laughs]

Are you serious?

Did you seriously
just play the cancer card?

Oh, it's been played.

Go.
Get back to class.

Go, go.

I get to quit.
You don't.

♪ Hold your tongue,
the unwilling ♪

♪ and the safe ♪

♪ make your mark
in your own tiny way ♪

♪ your own miniature
firework display for one ♪

♪ ♪

♪ fear of facing
the shadow on the shore ♪

♪ tied in knots and hung up
on the back door ♪

♪ the "boy done good,"
thoughts of valor ♪

♪ and the all for one ♪

♪ ♪

♪ it's the beetle in the box
that shakes in your hands ♪

♪ and it's formed
out of feelings ♪

♪ that I don't understand ♪

♪ they're mapped in the gaps ♪

♪ and the spaces between ♪

- [Laughs]
- ♪ The worry of bearing ♪

- ♪ the ghost... ♪
- Hello.

♪ In the machine ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I eat your words,
and you mark my mistakes ♪

♪ we set the dictionary
up to fail ♪

♪ the work of poets
is a vapor ♪

♪ we exhale, it's gone ♪

♪ ♪

♪ fleeting fondness
is a flicker in your frown ♪

♪ spilling out
in adjectives and nouns ♪

♪ a mess of letters once it's
chewed and swallowed down ♪

♪ all gone ♪

You got to be
fucking kidding me.

♪ ♪

♪ How do you feel pain? ♪

Goddamn piece of fucking shit!
"Made in China" shit!

Fucking piece!

♪ How do you hear sound? ♪

♪ tapping on the walls ♪

♪ I wish I could feel it all ♪

♪ ♪

♪ it's the beetle in the box ♪

♪ that shakes in your hands ♪

♪ and it's formed
out of feelings ♪

♪ that I don't understand ♪
[Vomiting]

♪ And the spaces between ♪

♪ the worry of bearing ♪

♪ the ghost ♪

♪ the worry of bearing
the ghost ♪

[Playing The Entertainer slowly]

♪ ♪

Excuse me. Hi.

So fun.

Could I just...?

♪
♪
[Volume lowers]

Was I bothering you?

Paul's just trying
to finish his next chapter

before he meets
with his publisher.

He's having a teeny bit
of trouble concentrating.

They moved his meeting
ahead a couple days,

so it's pretty stressful.

- Mm-hmm.
- Oh.

I wanted to ask you

if you needed help
planning Adam's party.

When I was in a sorority,

they used to call me
the party queen,

because not only
do I love going to parties,

but I love throwing them.

I'm good. Thanks.

- Okay, great.
- [Playing keyboard]

Well,
if you change your mind...

[Plays note]

[Scott Joplin's
The Entertainer]

♪ ♪

Look, I tried to get you
to quit teaching

before you even
started teaching.

Remember when I tried to get you
to buy that llama farm with me?

Mm, oh, if I could just
turn back time, Sean.

Here, look,
why don't we divide up

so I don't have to walk
10 miles around here?

Why--why can't we just
make decorations out of garbage?

No. You go. You get
the giant cookie and the piñata.

I'll--I'll meet you
at the party store?

Giant cookie.

Can I help you find something?

Yeah, uh...

the party store?

Oh, it's on the seventh floor,
two floors up.

Take the west escalator
and go across the sky bridge.

Thank you.

I'm sorry.
What--which escalator?

The west escalator.

West...

Which floor?

Seven, two floors up.

Right, sorry.

Chemo brain.

Oh, you're going through chemo?

Oh, you know,
we have a motorized scooter

if you need it,
and you can take the elevators.

Oh, that's all right.
Thank you.

Oh, that chemo is so tough.

My mother-in-law had breast
cancer--it came back twice.

She went through chemo
three different times,

bless her heart.

The thing about it is that
while it's killing the cancer,

it's also killing
everything else.

- It's just so sad.
- Yeah, well...

And then she ended up
dying of a heart attack,

which they said
was most likely caused

by the chemo
weakening her heart so bad.

Your insides are dying too.

Excuse me?

Right now, every day.

That's why our hair turns gray,

why you need
those reading glasses

you didn't need
when you were younger.

Our--our--our bodies,
they shut down

a little bit at a time
until we all die.

I wonder how you're gonna go.

You know?

If it's not cancer,
which it could be.

I wonder.

[Chuckles]

What floor again?

Seven.

[Motor puttering]

[Computer beeps]
Ugh!

God, I fe--I feel like
I have dementia.

I always use the same one.

- Well, is it your birthday?
- Duh, no.

Well, is it Adam's birthday?

- Is it Adam's middle name?
- No.

What is Adam's middle name?

- Mark.
- Well, is it "Adam Mark"?

- No.
- [Sighs]

You know, passwords
are ridiculous anyway.

I mean, they just give you
a false sense of security,

because believe me, your--
your personal info

is no more secure
because you password-protect

with the street
you grew up on--

Is it the street we grew up on?

Okay, Sean, you're making it

more difficult
for me to concentrate.

What up?

Your mother
forgot her password.

No, I-I-I made
the invite for your party.

I want to show it to you, but
I-I can't remember the password.

Is it something, uh, quippy,
you know, like, "Cancer sucks"?

Something like that?

So, I-I invited all the names
on the list that you gave me,

and you're gonna
start here at home

with darts and mocktails
in the backyard,

and then a limo is gonna
take you to bowling and pizza,

and then you're gonna end up
with midnight ice skating.

Huh?

Sound cool?

Yeah, really fun, mom.
[Doorbell rings]

Yeah, maybe it's, uh,
it's "party" or "Sweet 16"

or "Sweet Sucksteen."

Ha. Adam, I'm surprised
you didn't think of that.

[Door opens]
Hello.

- Good evening.
- Oh, Lydia!

Lydia, hi.
Come on in.

Adam...

- You know Lydia Hye?
- Hi.

Hi, Lydia Hye.

Lydia is the smartest kid
at west hill.

She's graduating
high school with--

wh--uh, what is it?

An associate's degree from
Normandale Community College.

I take online courses
from there.

That's how good she is.
I mean, who thinks of that?

She did. Lydia did.
You did.

So Lydia is your new tutor.

From now until graduation--

You are Lydia's bitch.

- Sean.
- No, it's a compliment to her,

- to Lydia, to you.
- Thank you.

Mom, I don't need
a tutor, okay?

- I'll catch up on my own.
- Eh, just--just to be sure.

Fine.

I'll try to make this
a painless process.

Okay, so why don't you start
with chemistry

- in the living room?
- Stop it.

And, uh, we'll get out of here.

I'll get my book.

I mean,
I am gonna figure this out.

I-I know you.

[Both moaning, panting]

[Loud rock music in earbuds]

♪ ♪

[Volume increases]

♪ ♪

[Giggling]

♪ ♪

I mean, when I only
see a name on a tombstone

- in a cemetery, I'm curious.
- About what?

Well, I just--
I want more...

you know,
like who the person was...

you know, how they died,

something funny
they might've done.

I mean, what they would want
someone like me, a passerby,

to know.

Like the meaning of their life?

Uh...

[Sighs]
Maybe. I just...

just why have a marker at all?

I mean, what's the point?

Well, I can see
you're wrestling

with some pretty big questions.

Okay.

Honestly, if you're
just gonna quote back to me

some generic
observational phrases,

I'm gonna get
real bored real fast.

All right.

Okay, then how about this...

The dog's been dead
a week and a half,

and in my personal,
not professional, opinion,

the dog doesn't give a rat's ass
what's on its tombstone.

Just pick anything--
a Beatles lyric--

and stick it in the ground
and get over it.

[Door opens]

Hey, mom.

Uh, do you need me
to drive you anywhere?

Oh, you got it!

He got, like, almost
a perfect score.

That is great!

Good for you!

[Chuckles]

You see the limo?

Yeah.

Um, why is there a bouncy castle
in the front yard?

Do you love it?

Do you hate it?
Can you live with it?

[Chuckles]
What's--what's it for?

For the party.

For--for just when
your friends first get here.

I mean, it's the same one we
used to get when you were a kid.

You always loved a bouncy--

I could just--I could just
picture you and your friends

just bouncing around in there,

just for fun.

You want to take a jump alone
before everybody shows up?

I mean, maybe a--
a new-license victory jump?

[Chuckles] Mom, look, I don't
want to offend you, but...

- Not really?
- Not really. Exactly.

No offense, though.

Love you.
[Chuckles]

- Happy Birthday, buddy.
- Thanks, dad.

- I'm so proud of you.
- Love you. Have a safe flight.

- Good luck with your publisher.
- Thank you.

So your ticket is on top.

They have somebody waiting
for you at the airport.

Your book's in here,

and they already
have a copy on their end.

- What would I do without you?
- Hey, Paul?

I'll give you a buck

if you bounce in the bouncy
before you leave.

Oh, no time, honey.
But you know what?

I'm really glad
you're not working

so that you can rest, okay?

Or party first,
then rest later.

- Bye!
- Bye.

Well, I'm gonna go straighten
things up in Paul's office,

and then I'm gonna
head out too.

- Did you notice the bouncy?
- Yeah.

I fell out of one of those
when I was a kid

and broke my collarbone.

They scare me.

You know,
I wanted to ask you something.

Yes?

Well, that food
that I bring here

for my lunch and snacks
and things...

Yes.

Well, I have
a gluten intolerance,

so I have to be really careful
about what I eat.

Sounds very challenging.

Did you eat my food?

I did.

I didn't want to.

I wanted to eat my--my favorite
cherry pie from Kowalski's,

but since
my taste buds don't work,

it just felt like glue
with lumps in it.

And then I saw your pasta with
the little crunchy things in it,

and I-I wanted to see what it
would feel like in my mouth,

and so I--

I wouldn't say I ate your food,
so much as I ate your texture.

But, yes, I did eat it.

Well, refined sugars
are bad for you anyway.

You know, convincing yourself
you have a gluten intolerance

because your life is too perfect
otherwise is worse.

Whoo-hoo!

Well, isn't that something?

Ah!

This is fun!

I-I-I love this
big waste of plastic!

Oh, thank you, God!

Someone likes my bouncy!

Ha! Ha!

Help me up.

Wait, wait, are you sure?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Just--
just don't make it too rough.

All right.

- You ready?
- [Laughs]

Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce.

Good, huh?

There you go, you got it.

- [Both laugh]
- Whoa!

Whoo!

- Ah!
- [Laughs]

Whoo!

[Laughs]

♪ Hold on,
before she breaks your heart ♪

♪ hold on,
let's get back to the start ♪

♪ hold on,
I'll tell you the truth ♪

♪ you need me, baby ♪

♪ just like I need you ♪

♪ hold on,
before she breaks your heart ♪

Oh!

Ah!

- Oh...
- What?

What--what's wrong?

Ah, it appears...

I've lost control of my bowels.

- [Laughs]
- Stop.

You sh--you shithead!

Oh, I'm the shitty one?

- Look, mom, I'll--I'll help.
- No, Adam.

- Stay right there.
- I got it! I got it!

I got this.

- Ah...
- I got it. I got it.

Come on, let us ladies
have our private time. Come on.

Oh, God.

Cathy, I'm--I'm sorry.

[Laughing]

I'm sorry, Cath.

[Crying] I just--
I keep seeing Adam's face,

just so horrified.

Oh, he's fine.
He was just worried about you.

And now I'm crying.

I can't keep anything in.

- Then let it out.
- You know...

Sean has been great,
but there are times I just--

I just want to punch him
in his laugh hole.

[Sniffling]
Thank God you showed up.

Oh, I just remembered
a few more things I left here--

a couple books
and a pair of shoes.

I'm--I didn't mean
to be mean to you the other day.

Mm, tell me about college life.

Is it amazing?

Can I just be honest with you?

Oh, Andrea.
We--[Laughs]

We are embarrassingly close
at this point.

I'm just not feeling it yet.

I hate living
in the dorms, and...

[Sighs]
My roommate smokes in our room.

I'm pretty sure
she's a sex addict,

and she accused me of stealing.

Are you kidding me?

So you were just lying
when you said how great it was?

I just didn't want you
to feel sorry for me.

Do you want to move back here?

I mean, it's--it's not
a long commute, but it--

it would involve being around
a disgusting sick person

and a lot of drugs.

Are you serious?

The dorms are filled
with disgusting sick people

and a lot of drugs.

But I don't want that slut bitch
roommate of mine

to think that she ran me out.

You could steal something
on the way out.

- Thank you.
- [Laughs]

Thank you.

- Hey.
- Aah!

- How are you feeling?
- Top of the world.

You ready?

Your friends are going
to start showing up soon.

I canceled the party.

You did?

Just now?

Did you call everyone?

No, I only had
to send, like, one text.

[Knock on door]

Look, mom, I'm fine, okay?
I'm not mad or anything.

I just--I wouldn't feel right
celebrating with you being sick.

It's fine.

Me being sick
is just kind of how it is,

'cause not only am I sick,

but what's making me less sick
is making me more sick.

So let's just face it--

we're caught up
in a sick riddle of sorts.

Okay, well, maybe you don't
need to worry about me as much.

Mom, I'm fine.

I can see where
that would be kind of a pain,

but...

it's all I want
to do right now.

I love celebrating you.

I love--no.

I love watching your face
when you smile...

- when you get surprised.
- [Chuckles]

Will you go with me somewhere?

Hmm?

Not the bouncy.

This is for when you turn 25.

- [Laughs]
- Skittles?

I figured your favorite candy
would still be the same.

At least I wanted you
to remember

that I knew what it was once.

And besides, I figured they'd--
they'd still be fresh

since they're not really food.

But they're good.

- Oh, sweet.
- Mm-hmm.

Every man needs a nice wallet.

Well, no I have one.

[Laughs] Thank you.

Oh, my God, I love $2 bills.

- Yeah, I know.
- Yes.

[Chuckles]

- Oh.
- Thank you.

Now, this is
for when you turn 28.

"The Amazing Book
of Amazing Birds"?

I thought as you approached 30,

you might get
into bird-watching.

Yeah.
Yeah, maybe, maybe.

Because you always point them
out when we're outside.

I mean, up so high,
I would never notice,

but...

you always look up.

I always look where my feet
are heading,

but you always look up.

[Laughs]

Thank you.

"Happy 18th birthday.

Hope these are legal
by the time you open them"?

[Laughs]

Yes!

[Both laughing]

- Uh-huh.
- Oh.

- Yeah.
- Fireworks?

That's awesome.

Unfortunately,
they're still not legal.

[Fireworks whistling,
exploding]

- So cool.
- [Laughing]

Beautiful.

[Sparklers crackling]

This is the best your birthday
I've ever had.

Me too.

Really?

Yeah.
Yeah, I got my license.

Har har har.

Always keep
your sense of humor.

[Sighs] Ah...

I hope I can keep feeling

as good as I'm feeling
right now.

Maybe you will.

I quit my job,

and I had such visions
of just living my life,

of spending more time with you.

But I-I feel so bad
and so tired all the time

that...

I actually got annoyed

when I heard you come home
from school.

And I feel so guilty
about that.

And then I-I was so excited
to just--

to just throw you
this great party,

but then I literally--
I shat all over it.

You know the chemo, um...

it's not a cure.

Maybe, though, right?

No.

No.

Definitely not.

It's--it's just giving me
more time.

We don't even know how much.

I was hoping to make it
to your graduation,

but I don't want to be there

feeling the way
that I've been feeling.

I don't want to be
a shitting, exhausted,

forgetting version of myself

and know that I chose that.

I just--
[Sniffles]

I just want to...

feel like me

for as long as I can.

So...
[Sniffles]

I think I need to quit chemo.

Would that be all right
with you?

[Crying]

Thank you.

I could still make it
to your graduation, you know?

You know, we're still hoping
for a new clinical trial.

And Dr. Sherman
could call me tomorrow

and say they found a cure.

♪ My little sparrow ♪

♪ there is hope for you ♪

[Pats shoulder]

- Last one.
- ♪ Your life has just begun ♪

♪ I could not do ♪

♪ what I wanted to ♪

♪ but I fear my time ♪

♪ is almost done ♪

♪ wayward weeping voices ♪

♪ that you will hear ♪

Ah, that is awesome.

♪ Each with their own story
to tell ♪

- [Chuckles]
- Yes!

♪ You have the choice ♪

- ♪ to bend your ear ♪
- Always looking up.

♪ And treat
your fellow humans well ♪

♪ oh ♪

♪ so good-bye ♪

♪ my little sparrow ♪

♪ it's time that I must go ♪

- ♪ Mm ♪
- What do you think?

Can't argue with that.

♪ Straight and narrow ♪

♪ there's something
you must know ♪

♪ listen to me now ♪

♪ you will overcome ♪

♪ I promise you ♪

♪ and be whatever it is ♪

♪ that you want to be ♪

♪ oh, there is hope for you ♪

♪ oh, there's hope for you ♪

♪ but it's much too late ♪

♪ for me ♪