The Batman (2004–2008): Season 5, Episode 2 - The Batman/Superman Story: Part II - full transcript
Batman and Robin must free Superman from Lex Luthor's control via Poison Ivy's hypnotic spores.
[theme music]
[music continues]
[instrumental music]
It's far too quiet.
Superman's
not exactly Mr. Yappy.
Maybe he's already tossed Luthor
in jail and left for Metropolis.
We would have heard
over the police band.
Something's not right.
We need a closer look.
Lukewarm.
Luthor hasn't been gone long.
Everything's so neat and clean.
You'd think Alfred lived here.
[intense music]
[yawns]
You still at it?
You really are
a creature of the night.
I found some residue
in Luthor's test tube.
Porphyrin rings
with a magnesium center.
Uh, middle school?
- Chlorophyll.
- Chlorophyll?
You mean plants?
Yes. Maybe poison plants.
If Ivy's involved, we might
have to take precautions.
Suit up.
Where are we going?
Luthor's weapons lab
here in town.
Lucius tells me
they've been working overtime
away from prying eyes.
And X-ray eyes, too.
[intense music]
[beeping]
You with me, Robin?
Got your back.
[beeping]
[music continues]
(Mercy)
And you, keep
the north entrance covered.
No one gets in.
[beeping]
[beeping]
How are we doing, Mercy?
All systems are go, Lex.
We even have perfect weather.
Then let's get them activated.
[clanging]
[intense music]
Let me out. Let me out!
[music continues]
[roars]
[roars]
I injected a flash dehydrate
made especially
for you, Clayface.
You'll be okay. Just add water.
Looking for someone?
Ivy's mind control spores
laced with Kryptonite.
So you are as clever
as they say.
He was a little
resistant last night
so I thought I'd give him
an extended dose.
- What are you up to, Luthor?
- Saving the world, Batman.
You saw how helpless it was
during the alien invasion.
We have no central control,
no plan of attack.
Instead we put
our faith in aliens.
Well, no more.
Only humans should be
in charge of Earth's destiny.
Humans with robots.
Oh, they're more
than just robots, Batman.
They're powerful, aerial,
wireless transmitters.
Once aloft, they'll target
the most strategic
military installations
in the world
at which point,
they'll interface
with the defense systems
on the ground..
...giving me complete control.
I don't expect
everyone to understand
what I'm doing at first
but in the end
we'll have a single
worldwide army'
One that will ensure
protection against aliens.
No one will dominate
the Earth again.
Except for you.
Well, someone
has to be in charge
and who could stop me
except for Superman?
And he may turn out to be
the most valuable robot of all.
Destroy him.
[beeping]
Find him!
[coughs]
Break him!
[intense music]
Robin, can you hear me?
We have a problem.
You're not kiddin'.
[intense music]
[gasps]
[grunts]
Aah!
Oh, no.
Gotcha!
See? Nothing to it.
Look, up in the sky!
- Awesome!
- Awesome!
Hey, superdude, you okay?
[groaning]
Whoa. Check out the blingbling.
Hello? That's Kryptonite.
Oh, ho, what do we do, man?
Uh, kick it in the water.
[groaning]
Alright, superdude!
Give me five! Yeah!
- Ooh, hoo! Cool!
- Yeah!
- Rock it, man!
- Oh, that was gnarly, dude.
(Robin)
What are we here for?
Insurance.
So that's where you got
the Kryptonite from.
I thought you gave it
to Superman.
It was a fake,
I decided to hang on
to the real thing in case..
[clanging]
...that.
Argh!
[inhales deeply]
He's gonna blow!
[exhales]
[grunting]
Uh! Ugh!
[intense music]
I got it!
[grunts]
Whoa!
[grunts]
[whirring]
When he gets out,
he's not gonna be happy.
I have an idea how to stop him
but I've got to get him
out of here.
[clanging]
What do I do?
Maybe you can slow him down.
[intense music]
Got him, Batman!
[grunts]
Ah!
[clanging]
(male #1)
No one knows why
they're fighting, folks
but it looks like a
clash of Titans from up here.
Should we delay the countdown?
Not on your life.
No man in a tin can
is going to beat
the man of steel.
And if their battle
distracts the city
so much the better.
We proceed as scheduled.
[grunting]
[grunting]
[grunting]
[grunting]
Hey, blue boy.
[grunts]
Cool.
You get a raise.
I get paid?
Come on.
(Robin)
Ew. Is this where
you were leading him?
What are you going to do,
stink him into submission?
Something like that.
Here we are.
[rumbling]
Put on your mask.
Uh! Ah!
[grunting]
Aa-argh!
[groans]
[grunting]
Wha-what's going on?
That cured him?
Luthor had you under
the spell of Poison Ivy's
mind controlling plant spores.
But I just doused you
with atrazine
a basic component
of plant killers.
It wiped out the spores.
I owe you one.
It wasn't just me.
I guess teamwork
does have its advantages.
Thirty seconds to launch, Lex.
You should pay
attention, Ms. Ivy.
History is being made
and you provided
the seeds of change.
Opening silo.
Ten seconds to liftoff.
[alarm blaring]
I'll handle those.
See if you can stop them
from the inside.
[instrumental music]
Aah!
No! They have to take him out!
I'll put them all on him.
Might want to cover your ears.
[beeping]
Keep on them.
[beeping]
[gunfire]
[instrumental music]
[crackling]
Lex, what about me? Uh! Uh!
[grunts]
That must be the daddy.
[rumbling]
[beeping]
Move!
[crackling]
[automated]
Two seconds to hyperdrive.
Program failure.
Command terminated.
What?
Warning. Warning.
Virus detected.
Warning.
Uh!
[instrumental music]
[grunting]
You can't leave
without saying goodbye.
- Morning.
- Is that what it is?
Who can tell up here?
Have you seen today's headlines?
Been a little busy, Dick.
The Lex has been tossed in jail
with Ivy and the others.
Who says there's no good news?
Hey, if you need some help
up there, I could..
No, thanks.
I've got a visitor. Out.
So, this is what
all the excitement is about.
Still a work in progress,
but it'll do for now.
I asked you here because
I wanted to give you this
the real Kryptonite.
I dug it up from my lab.
Found the piece
in the river, too.
You keep it.
At least then I'll know it's
with someone who's on my side.
Now, tell me about this
justice team of yours.
League. Justice league.
Told the Martian
it sounded like a ball club.
Anyway, this is
our command center.
Someone's always stationed here.
It's time-consuming,
but the view's great.
[theme music]
[music continues]
[instrumental music]
It's far too quiet.
Superman's
not exactly Mr. Yappy.
Maybe he's already tossed Luthor
in jail and left for Metropolis.
We would have heard
over the police band.
Something's not right.
We need a closer look.
Lukewarm.
Luthor hasn't been gone long.
Everything's so neat and clean.
You'd think Alfred lived here.
[intense music]
[yawns]
You still at it?
You really are
a creature of the night.
I found some residue
in Luthor's test tube.
Porphyrin rings
with a magnesium center.
Uh, middle school?
- Chlorophyll.
- Chlorophyll?
You mean plants?
Yes. Maybe poison plants.
If Ivy's involved, we might
have to take precautions.
Suit up.
Where are we going?
Luthor's weapons lab
here in town.
Lucius tells me
they've been working overtime
away from prying eyes.
And X-ray eyes, too.
[intense music]
[beeping]
You with me, Robin?
Got your back.
[beeping]
[music continues]
(Mercy)
And you, keep
the north entrance covered.
No one gets in.
[beeping]
[beeping]
How are we doing, Mercy?
All systems are go, Lex.
We even have perfect weather.
Then let's get them activated.
[clanging]
[intense music]
Let me out. Let me out!
[music continues]
[roars]
[roars]
I injected a flash dehydrate
made especially
for you, Clayface.
You'll be okay. Just add water.
Looking for someone?
Ivy's mind control spores
laced with Kryptonite.
So you are as clever
as they say.
He was a little
resistant last night
so I thought I'd give him
an extended dose.
- What are you up to, Luthor?
- Saving the world, Batman.
You saw how helpless it was
during the alien invasion.
We have no central control,
no plan of attack.
Instead we put
our faith in aliens.
Well, no more.
Only humans should be
in charge of Earth's destiny.
Humans with robots.
Oh, they're more
than just robots, Batman.
They're powerful, aerial,
wireless transmitters.
Once aloft, they'll target
the most strategic
military installations
in the world
at which point,
they'll interface
with the defense systems
on the ground..
...giving me complete control.
I don't expect
everyone to understand
what I'm doing at first
but in the end
we'll have a single
worldwide army'
One that will ensure
protection against aliens.
No one will dominate
the Earth again.
Except for you.
Well, someone
has to be in charge
and who could stop me
except for Superman?
And he may turn out to be
the most valuable robot of all.
Destroy him.
[beeping]
Find him!
[coughs]
Break him!
[intense music]
Robin, can you hear me?
We have a problem.
You're not kiddin'.
[intense music]
[gasps]
[grunts]
Aah!
Oh, no.
Gotcha!
See? Nothing to it.
Look, up in the sky!
- Awesome!
- Awesome!
Hey, superdude, you okay?
[groaning]
Whoa. Check out the blingbling.
Hello? That's Kryptonite.
Oh, ho, what do we do, man?
Uh, kick it in the water.
[groaning]
Alright, superdude!
Give me five! Yeah!
- Ooh, hoo! Cool!
- Yeah!
- Rock it, man!
- Oh, that was gnarly, dude.
(Robin)
What are we here for?
Insurance.
So that's where you got
the Kryptonite from.
I thought you gave it
to Superman.
It was a fake,
I decided to hang on
to the real thing in case..
[clanging]
...that.
Argh!
[inhales deeply]
He's gonna blow!
[exhales]
[grunting]
Uh! Ugh!
[intense music]
I got it!
[grunts]
Whoa!
[grunts]
[whirring]
When he gets out,
he's not gonna be happy.
I have an idea how to stop him
but I've got to get him
out of here.
[clanging]
What do I do?
Maybe you can slow him down.
[intense music]
Got him, Batman!
[grunts]
Ah!
[clanging]
(male #1)
No one knows why
they're fighting, folks
but it looks like a
clash of Titans from up here.
Should we delay the countdown?
Not on your life.
No man in a tin can
is going to beat
the man of steel.
And if their battle
distracts the city
so much the better.
We proceed as scheduled.
[grunting]
[grunting]
[grunting]
[grunting]
Hey, blue boy.
[grunts]
Cool.
You get a raise.
I get paid?
Come on.
(Robin)
Ew. Is this where
you were leading him?
What are you going to do,
stink him into submission?
Something like that.
Here we are.
[rumbling]
Put on your mask.
Uh! Ah!
[grunting]
Aa-argh!
[groans]
[grunting]
Wha-what's going on?
That cured him?
Luthor had you under
the spell of Poison Ivy's
mind controlling plant spores.
But I just doused you
with atrazine
a basic component
of plant killers.
It wiped out the spores.
I owe you one.
It wasn't just me.
I guess teamwork
does have its advantages.
Thirty seconds to launch, Lex.
You should pay
attention, Ms. Ivy.
History is being made
and you provided
the seeds of change.
Opening silo.
Ten seconds to liftoff.
[alarm blaring]
I'll handle those.
See if you can stop them
from the inside.
[instrumental music]
Aah!
No! They have to take him out!
I'll put them all on him.
Might want to cover your ears.
[beeping]
Keep on them.
[beeping]
[gunfire]
[instrumental music]
[crackling]
Lex, what about me? Uh! Uh!
[grunts]
That must be the daddy.
[rumbling]
[beeping]
Move!
[crackling]
[automated]
Two seconds to hyperdrive.
Program failure.
Command terminated.
What?
Warning. Warning.
Virus detected.
Warning.
Uh!
[instrumental music]
[grunting]
You can't leave
without saying goodbye.
- Morning.
- Is that what it is?
Who can tell up here?
Have you seen today's headlines?
Been a little busy, Dick.
The Lex has been tossed in jail
with Ivy and the others.
Who says there's no good news?
Hey, if you need some help
up there, I could..
No, thanks.
I've got a visitor. Out.
So, this is what
all the excitement is about.
Still a work in progress,
but it'll do for now.
I asked you here because
I wanted to give you this
the real Kryptonite.
I dug it up from my lab.
Found the piece
in the river, too.
You keep it.
At least then I'll know it's
with someone who's on my side.
Now, tell me about this
justice team of yours.
League. Justice league.
Told the Martian
it sounded like a ball club.
Anyway, this is
our command center.
Someone's always stationed here.
It's time-consuming,
but the view's great.
[theme music]