The Batman (2004–2008): Season 4, Episode 10 - Riddler's Revenge - full transcript
The Batman discovers what role he played in the origin of the villainous Riddler. Can Batman save both himself and and his foe from certain death at the bottom of the ocean?
I'll give you one last chance, old friend.
It can be cracked, it can be made,
it can be told, it can be played.
- What is it?
- A joke.
Come on, Gorman. It's easy.
- A joke.
- Jump?
- A joke.
- Jam?
- A joke.
- Jarlsberg?
No, sorry.
Looks like you get the consolation prize.
A joke, Riddler. That's the answer.
It's also what you are.
No, no, no!
Not so fast.
I've waited too long
for you to get away now, Gorman.
This was personal, Batman.
Ha!
Hate doing this to my own ship, Eddie...
but if that means having you
out of my life once and for all...
You know, since this is cooking class...
maybe you should have made
something you can eat.
You can eat this.
It's a combination
of my two favorite things.
Soup and licorice.
Mr. Berke? I'm not feeling so well.
Would you like to go home, Mr. Grayson?
Yes, please.
Well, you're not going to.
You've been sliding out of here
with barely believable excuses for months.
Plant allergies, frostbite, hallucinations,
all those toothaches...
You have any teeth left, by the way?
A couple.
Destroying Gorman
was a pet project of mine.
Now ask me how angry I am.
That was us hitting the bottom
of Gotham Bay...
which means we're too deep
to make radio contact.
The pressure's too strong to swim out,
and we have a very limited air supply.
I suggest we put this on hold.
Ooh, sounds like
we're in quite the pickle.
Then here's an easy one for you.
What do I have to lose?
Is that the answer you were looking for?
Gotta get out of here.
Well, you said be creative.
Yes, but we're not making rat poison,
are we?
You get an F for the assignment
but an A for "What were you thinking?"
Wait, you can't give him an F
without tasting it.
You want to try it, Mr. Grayson?
I sure do.
Huh?
It burns.
Oh, I see, Mr. Grayson.
Nice try, but you're not going...
How about you take
the rest of the day off, Mr. Grayson?
Too much cheddar, huh?
What is 9857?
There's nothing in here
that's gonna help us.
We're trapped.
It's how many seconds
before we run out of air.
Okay, try this one on for size.
What's at the beginning
that's also at the end?
Don't you ever get tired of riddles?
Oh, but you'll like this one.
What's at the beginning
that's also at the end?
The answer is Gorman.
And you, Batman...
at the beginning and now the end
of my career as the Riddler.
Both of you were two pieces
in a jigsaw puzzle...
that began forming long ago.
You see, I was always interested
in matters of the mind.
Even if my dimwitted daddy
couldn't understand.
How about we try a real game
for once and play some ball, champ?
And the thrill that came
from unriddling a riddle continued to grow.
Especially when I began upping the ante.
Games, you see,
were much more interesting...
when you were playing
for something real.
Yet I needed still bigger challenges.
Which is how I, of all people,
ended up in a Gotham University lab.
You're a genius, Edward.
External bio hard-drives
for the human brain.
This invention
is going to put us on the map.
More than that, Julie.
We're changing the way people think.
Can't remember a phone number?
Boom! More memory.
Trouble with some nasty math equation?
Boom! More processing power.
What's this?
You have to be careful
who you give these puzzles to.
They could drive someone crazy.
Here, it's easy.
You're incredible.
Not so bad yourself.
Knock, knock. I'm back.
Gorman.
What part of "We're not interested"
didn't you understand?
Well, maybe I'm not someone...
who's gonna take no
for an answer, Eddie.
Look, with my business savvy
and your invention...
we can make a whole lot
of money together.
Maybe we should at least listen
to what he has to offer.
The brains of the operation, huh?
Now, what's it gonna take
for you to play ball, champ?
I was never one for ball, champ.
And I don't plan on having
some small-minded dolt...
profiting off my genius.
You're wrestling
with the wrong gator, Eddie.
What were you thinking, Edward?
Someone like Gorman could help us.
I don't know why you act
the way you do sometimes.
I hated upsetting Julie,
so I told her about my father.
And all the other Neanderthals
like Gorman determined to get in my way.
And suddenly,
I wasn't such a riddle to her anymore.
Soon, we were ready to demonstrate
our invention...
for the president
of the university, no less.
Edward, I'd like you to meet
a potential investor.
And the man kind enough
to let us use his home for today's display.
Chuck Gorman.
Pleased to meet you, Eddie.
Let's just get started.
The Laws of Physics, read it.
- Which part?
- The whole thing.
Now, what is the law
of universal gravitation?
Uh...
it states that a particle attracts
every other particle...
with a force that is directly proportional
to the product of their masses.
And inversely proportional to the square
of the distance between them.
Call an ambulance.
Huh...
What have you done to him?
While the blame would fall on me...
I was smart enough to know
it was Gormie who sabotaged that disc.
With me out of the picture...
he would now easily
get his hands on my technology.
I was ruined, and in that one moment...
I lost my last chance to...
To what?
To not be the Riddler.
Come on, where are you, Batman?
The distress signal came
from somewhere out here.
I still don't see how I fit into this.
Oh, we're getting there.
You see, after the university let me go,
I decided to go into interior decorating.
How in the world?
Huh?
- What...?
- Exactly.
"What?" My favorite word.
Eddie? Is that you?
What have you done to my house?
Oh, I took the liberty to make
some improvements while you were out.
And because you had some fun
at my expense...
I thought I'd return the favor.
I had nothing to do
with what happened to you.
Of course you didn't.
Now, let's have some fun.
Question, what 11-letter word
does everyone pronounce incorrectly?
I'm not playing your sick games, Eddie.
My father hated my games too.
But I think he just lacked
the proper motivation to play them.
Ah... Okay, okay.
Eleven-letter word
everyone pronounces incorrectly?
Incorrectly. The answer's "incorrectly."
Very good, Gormie. That's the spirit.
Time for our next riddle.
Forwards it is heavy,
backwards it is not.
Forwards it is heavy,
backwards it is not?
I don't know!
I'll give you a hint.
Backwards it is not.
N-O-T.
Oh, do we need yet another hint?
Ton. A ton. T-O-N!
Sorry, too late. Goodbye, Gormie.
Ah!
What?
Oh, great, another freak.
Who are you suppose to be?
I know the answer to that.
The Batman.
I've heard of you, a regular do-gooder.
And who are you?
Nothing more than a bit of a gamesman.
A Riddler, if you will.
Good thing you arrived.
Gormie needs all the help he can get.
"Within the mirror you must strive
to find a way to stay alive.
What is four plus number five?"
It's nine. The answer is nine.
With a riddle, the most obvious answer
is rarely the right one.
Wait!
See? I told you.
You've just accelerated the countdown.
The riddle says find a way.
A way is a direction.
A direction is south.
Four plus number five is an inverted image
of the word "south."
No! That's cheating, Batman.
Maybe if this were a game. You're done.
Actually, this has been so much fun.
I think I'm just beginning.
You inspired me that night.
I needed toys like yours,
maybe a little fashion sense too.
And I let Gorman
taste some real success.
So he'd have that much more to lose.
That ship was filled with his...
My bio-sensitive discs.
Now they're at the bottom of the bay.
But so are we.
As I said,
you were there at the beginning.
And now you're here,
at the very bitter end.
It's not over yet.
This container's filled with air,
which is lighter than water.
Then we're not floating
because something's pinning us down.
Those jolts,
they were caused by the debris shifting.
If we can move the debris
from the inside, we might break loose.
Maybe if both of us tried.
You and me work together?
I'm into riddles, not jokes.
Besides, I've ruined Gorman and
that's as good a note as any to go out on.
Then you're sure
it was Gorman who sabotaged you?
Even you, Batman...
could have puzzled together
a mystery this obvious.
Yeah, obvious.
I guess I just figured
with a riddle...
the most obvious answer
is rarely the right one.
- Come on.
- So you can take me to prison?
Better than where you were headed.
Robin?
No more question marks, Batman.
Now we put a period
at the end of your life.
Exclamation point, anyone?
Another late night in the lab, Julie?
E... Edward?
Oh, you remember me. I'm touched.
Ah, what are you doing here?
There's a riddle
I'm having trouble solving.
You were always so good at them,
maybe you can help.
The $64,000 question?
Why did I sabotage our project?
Come on, Edward, it's not that hard.
I thought you understood me.
I understood you were a psychopath.
One that was going to ruin
any chance for success.
And so you got rid of me. Very smart.
But I think we can make you smarter yet.
Our little external bio hard-drives
for the brain...
were only intended
to be used one at a time.
Let's see what happens
when we use them all together.
Ah! No, Edward.
What are you doing?
I know. I know.
He's about to get his butt kicked.
Am I right?
So tell me, Batman,
how'd you piece together...
it was my Julie who betrayed me?
Easy. Gorman was a businessman,
not a scientist.
He would never have known
how to sabotage that disc.
And that left just one other person.
Anyone would have realized that.
Except you, champ.
Ah!
No question about it, Batman.
This time I will have my revenge.
No!
Ah!
Ah!
Let the police set her free.
One last riddle, Robin.
When is a villain not the villain?
They're all yours, officers.
It can be cracked, it can be made,
it can be told, it can be played.
- What is it?
- A joke.
Come on, Gorman. It's easy.
- A joke.
- Jump?
- A joke.
- Jam?
- A joke.
- Jarlsberg?
No, sorry.
Looks like you get the consolation prize.
A joke, Riddler. That's the answer.
It's also what you are.
No, no, no!
Not so fast.
I've waited too long
for you to get away now, Gorman.
This was personal, Batman.
Ha!
Hate doing this to my own ship, Eddie...
but if that means having you
out of my life once and for all...
You know, since this is cooking class...
maybe you should have made
something you can eat.
You can eat this.
It's a combination
of my two favorite things.
Soup and licorice.
Mr. Berke? I'm not feeling so well.
Would you like to go home, Mr. Grayson?
Yes, please.
Well, you're not going to.
You've been sliding out of here
with barely believable excuses for months.
Plant allergies, frostbite, hallucinations,
all those toothaches...
You have any teeth left, by the way?
A couple.
Destroying Gorman
was a pet project of mine.
Now ask me how angry I am.
That was us hitting the bottom
of Gotham Bay...
which means we're too deep
to make radio contact.
The pressure's too strong to swim out,
and we have a very limited air supply.
I suggest we put this on hold.
Ooh, sounds like
we're in quite the pickle.
Then here's an easy one for you.
What do I have to lose?
Is that the answer you were looking for?
Gotta get out of here.
Well, you said be creative.
Yes, but we're not making rat poison,
are we?
You get an F for the assignment
but an A for "What were you thinking?"
Wait, you can't give him an F
without tasting it.
You want to try it, Mr. Grayson?
I sure do.
Huh?
It burns.
Oh, I see, Mr. Grayson.
Nice try, but you're not going...
How about you take
the rest of the day off, Mr. Grayson?
Too much cheddar, huh?
What is 9857?
There's nothing in here
that's gonna help us.
We're trapped.
It's how many seconds
before we run out of air.
Okay, try this one on for size.
What's at the beginning
that's also at the end?
Don't you ever get tired of riddles?
Oh, but you'll like this one.
What's at the beginning
that's also at the end?
The answer is Gorman.
And you, Batman...
at the beginning and now the end
of my career as the Riddler.
Both of you were two pieces
in a jigsaw puzzle...
that began forming long ago.
You see, I was always interested
in matters of the mind.
Even if my dimwitted daddy
couldn't understand.
How about we try a real game
for once and play some ball, champ?
And the thrill that came
from unriddling a riddle continued to grow.
Especially when I began upping the ante.
Games, you see,
were much more interesting...
when you were playing
for something real.
Yet I needed still bigger challenges.
Which is how I, of all people,
ended up in a Gotham University lab.
You're a genius, Edward.
External bio hard-drives
for the human brain.
This invention
is going to put us on the map.
More than that, Julie.
We're changing the way people think.
Can't remember a phone number?
Boom! More memory.
Trouble with some nasty math equation?
Boom! More processing power.
What's this?
You have to be careful
who you give these puzzles to.
They could drive someone crazy.
Here, it's easy.
You're incredible.
Not so bad yourself.
Knock, knock. I'm back.
Gorman.
What part of "We're not interested"
didn't you understand?
Well, maybe I'm not someone...
who's gonna take no
for an answer, Eddie.
Look, with my business savvy
and your invention...
we can make a whole lot
of money together.
Maybe we should at least listen
to what he has to offer.
The brains of the operation, huh?
Now, what's it gonna take
for you to play ball, champ?
I was never one for ball, champ.
And I don't plan on having
some small-minded dolt...
profiting off my genius.
You're wrestling
with the wrong gator, Eddie.
What were you thinking, Edward?
Someone like Gorman could help us.
I don't know why you act
the way you do sometimes.
I hated upsetting Julie,
so I told her about my father.
And all the other Neanderthals
like Gorman determined to get in my way.
And suddenly,
I wasn't such a riddle to her anymore.
Soon, we were ready to demonstrate
our invention...
for the president
of the university, no less.
Edward, I'd like you to meet
a potential investor.
And the man kind enough
to let us use his home for today's display.
Chuck Gorman.
Pleased to meet you, Eddie.
Let's just get started.
The Laws of Physics, read it.
- Which part?
- The whole thing.
Now, what is the law
of universal gravitation?
Uh...
it states that a particle attracts
every other particle...
with a force that is directly proportional
to the product of their masses.
And inversely proportional to the square
of the distance between them.
Call an ambulance.
Huh...
What have you done to him?
While the blame would fall on me...
I was smart enough to know
it was Gormie who sabotaged that disc.
With me out of the picture...
he would now easily
get his hands on my technology.
I was ruined, and in that one moment...
I lost my last chance to...
To what?
To not be the Riddler.
Come on, where are you, Batman?
The distress signal came
from somewhere out here.
I still don't see how I fit into this.
Oh, we're getting there.
You see, after the university let me go,
I decided to go into interior decorating.
How in the world?
Huh?
- What...?
- Exactly.
"What?" My favorite word.
Eddie? Is that you?
What have you done to my house?
Oh, I took the liberty to make
some improvements while you were out.
And because you had some fun
at my expense...
I thought I'd return the favor.
I had nothing to do
with what happened to you.
Of course you didn't.
Now, let's have some fun.
Question, what 11-letter word
does everyone pronounce incorrectly?
I'm not playing your sick games, Eddie.
My father hated my games too.
But I think he just lacked
the proper motivation to play them.
Ah... Okay, okay.
Eleven-letter word
everyone pronounces incorrectly?
Incorrectly. The answer's "incorrectly."
Very good, Gormie. That's the spirit.
Time for our next riddle.
Forwards it is heavy,
backwards it is not.
Forwards it is heavy,
backwards it is not?
I don't know!
I'll give you a hint.
Backwards it is not.
N-O-T.
Oh, do we need yet another hint?
Ton. A ton. T-O-N!
Sorry, too late. Goodbye, Gormie.
Ah!
What?
Oh, great, another freak.
Who are you suppose to be?
I know the answer to that.
The Batman.
I've heard of you, a regular do-gooder.
And who are you?
Nothing more than a bit of a gamesman.
A Riddler, if you will.
Good thing you arrived.
Gormie needs all the help he can get.
"Within the mirror you must strive
to find a way to stay alive.
What is four plus number five?"
It's nine. The answer is nine.
With a riddle, the most obvious answer
is rarely the right one.
Wait!
See? I told you.
You've just accelerated the countdown.
The riddle says find a way.
A way is a direction.
A direction is south.
Four plus number five is an inverted image
of the word "south."
No! That's cheating, Batman.
Maybe if this were a game. You're done.
Actually, this has been so much fun.
I think I'm just beginning.
You inspired me that night.
I needed toys like yours,
maybe a little fashion sense too.
And I let Gorman
taste some real success.
So he'd have that much more to lose.
That ship was filled with his...
My bio-sensitive discs.
Now they're at the bottom of the bay.
But so are we.
As I said,
you were there at the beginning.
And now you're here,
at the very bitter end.
It's not over yet.
This container's filled with air,
which is lighter than water.
Then we're not floating
because something's pinning us down.
Those jolts,
they were caused by the debris shifting.
If we can move the debris
from the inside, we might break loose.
Maybe if both of us tried.
You and me work together?
I'm into riddles, not jokes.
Besides, I've ruined Gorman and
that's as good a note as any to go out on.
Then you're sure
it was Gorman who sabotaged you?
Even you, Batman...
could have puzzled together
a mystery this obvious.
Yeah, obvious.
I guess I just figured
with a riddle...
the most obvious answer
is rarely the right one.
- Come on.
- So you can take me to prison?
Better than where you were headed.
Robin?
No more question marks, Batman.
Now we put a period
at the end of your life.
Exclamation point, anyone?
Another late night in the lab, Julie?
E... Edward?
Oh, you remember me. I'm touched.
Ah, what are you doing here?
There's a riddle
I'm having trouble solving.
You were always so good at them,
maybe you can help.
The $64,000 question?
Why did I sabotage our project?
Come on, Edward, it's not that hard.
I thought you understood me.
I understood you were a psychopath.
One that was going to ruin
any chance for success.
And so you got rid of me. Very smart.
But I think we can make you smarter yet.
Our little external bio hard-drives
for the brain...
were only intended
to be used one at a time.
Let's see what happens
when we use them all together.
Ah! No, Edward.
What are you doing?
I know. I know.
He's about to get his butt kicked.
Am I right?
So tell me, Batman,
how'd you piece together...
it was my Julie who betrayed me?
Easy. Gorman was a businessman,
not a scientist.
He would never have known
how to sabotage that disc.
And that left just one other person.
Anyone would have realized that.
Except you, champ.
Ah!
No question about it, Batman.
This time I will have my revenge.
No!
Ah!
Ah!
Let the police set her free.
One last riddle, Robin.
When is a villain not the villain?
They're all yours, officers.