The Batman (2004–2008): Season 3, Episode 6 - Brawn - full transcript
After getting his hands on Bane's steroid apparatus, Joker uses it to bulk up to monstrous proportions. As Joker toys with the city with his superhuman strength, The Batman and Batgirl must find a way to defeat this unstoppable force.
Ladies and gentlemen,
give it up
for Man-Mountain Malloy,
the strongest man
in Gotham City!
Ho hum.
You know all clowns are evil,
don't you?
Ooh, tough guy.
Especially that clown.
If you think he's buff, folks,
get a load of me.
Hide your families, Gotham,
'cause when Joker goes jumbo,
he'll snap your twigs!
Whoa, big.
Batgirl?
You're way dinkier
than I expected.
Oof!
Being a criminal genius
just doesn't cut it these days.
You need brawn
to complement the brains.
I think I better join a gym.
Now we know who stole
Bane's power infusion module
from Gotham P.D.'s
evidence lockup.
The crazy crime-clown
running amuck
with the strength of Bane.
But what did
he steal at a circus?
The box office.
That seems rather small potatoes
for a giant Joker.
The entire box office.
No doubt a warm-up
for a bigger workout.
I need to bulk up.
I can't let the Batman have
a weakling for backup.
Ninety-nine.
One hundred.
Twenty thousand more reps
and I'll have
Iron Pumping Muscles
of Steel.
Barb, are you ready for...
school?
Uh, did I mention
I'm taking a new elective, Pop?
Competitive bodybuilding.
That's my girl.
Thank you all for joining us
this morning.
To symbolize Gotham City's
prominent place
in the global community,
we unveil our new landmark.
The Gotham Globe!
Gold-plated!
As valuable as it is heavy,
I bet.
Don't bother wrapping it.
I'll take
this little bauble as is.
Today, Gotham.
Tomorrow, the world.
Bye, sweetie. Be good.
Define "good."
Gordon.
Joker walked away with it?
I'm on my way.
You go, Pop.
Round 2 with Joker.
Pull it together, Barb,
the Bat needs you.
Thanks, Alfred.
Early start,
haven't had my coffee.
But Joker's already
had his protein shake.
Huh?
Put down the globe.
It's all yours, officer.
Have a ball.
Hey, I got a fab new figure.
And you got
a fab new Batmobile.
Show-and-tell's over, Joker.
Ooh!
Um, ouch.
You only have yourself
to blame for me, Batsy.
We've always taken turns
outsmarting each other,
but you had the muscle.
So I thought I'd stack
the odds in my favor.
Back for more, tiny?
Um, bring it on?
Well, Jim,
Batgirl didn't score
very high in that round.
Let's see if Joker can top her
in the discus throw.
Oh.
Joker takes the gold.
Plan:
you hit clown-boy high,
I hit him low.
He's out of your league.
I've been working out,
you know.
For your own safety,
stay back.
Hey!
Who's up for dodge ball?
Up here if you need me.
Welcome to my world, Bats.
And Planet Joker
is a world of hurt.
Heads up!
Look out!
Bye!
Phew.
Need me yet?
Sir?
I'll need more backup.
Prepare for special delivery.
Batman.
Not good.
Next up, Jim,
we have a new sporting event.
The Batmobile toss!
Where do you think
you're going?
I'm not through with you,
weakling.
If Batman can't beat
super clown, how can I?
Whoa.
A Bat-robot?
Or a muscle suit?
I won't ask again, Batsy.
Hand over your milk money.
Oh, Batgirl,
you stepped up
to heavyweight class.
Here goes nothing.
Yes.
How many rounds can you go
with Sugar Ray Joker?
Let's find out.
Uh-oh. Retro thrusters?
Whoa!
You're a klutz, tiny.
Okay, where's the tutorial
on this thing?
She didn't.
His weak spot.
Whoopsie!
Priceless!
With shtick like that,
Batgal,
you may have
a future in comedy.
Which is more than I can say
for the Batman.
I predict he doesn't have
a future at all.
Ta-ta, tiny!
Great. I can't get up.
And I can't eject.
I had to land
on the escape hatch.
Batman needs my help.
Think, Barbara.
Think outside the box.
Glad I took gymnastics.
I'll get the hang
of this muscle suit.
At least it's gonna lead me
straight to Batman.
Wakey-wakey, Batsy-watsy.
Can't let you sleep through
your own demise, you know.
Hope you like carnival games.
Allow me to demonstrate.
Get the picture?
With you gone, Batsy,
there'll be no one
to stop me
from kicking sand
in Gotham's face.
You forget about Batgirl.
That pip-squeak?
If she stands in my way,
I'll just scrape her
off my shoe.
Now, time to ring your bell.
"Mama's boy"? Just warming up.
Okay, now I'm pumped.
Huh?
You're going down, clown.
You again?
Good girl.
Huh?
Whoa, cheap shot.
Oh, no.
Batman?
Huh?
Batarangs?
Uh, tried that,
didn't hurt him.
Wait. Batman's aiming
for Joker's fuel pump.
He's using brain
to beat brawn.
Sorry, Batsy.
But only the strong survive.
Pardon me, but a tin can
is just begging to be opened.
I'm tiny, Joker.
You can't reach me.
No!
I'm still bigger than you.
But not me, bully.
Look what I found.
Smart move there.
Muscles aren't everything.
Sometimes brains are better
than brawn.
And sometimes being tiny
can be a strength.
give it up
for Man-Mountain Malloy,
the strongest man
in Gotham City!
Ho hum.
You know all clowns are evil,
don't you?
Ooh, tough guy.
Especially that clown.
If you think he's buff, folks,
get a load of me.
Hide your families, Gotham,
'cause when Joker goes jumbo,
he'll snap your twigs!
Whoa, big.
Batgirl?
You're way dinkier
than I expected.
Oof!
Being a criminal genius
just doesn't cut it these days.
You need brawn
to complement the brains.
I think I better join a gym.
Now we know who stole
Bane's power infusion module
from Gotham P.D.'s
evidence lockup.
The crazy crime-clown
running amuck
with the strength of Bane.
But what did
he steal at a circus?
The box office.
That seems rather small potatoes
for a giant Joker.
The entire box office.
No doubt a warm-up
for a bigger workout.
I need to bulk up.
I can't let the Batman have
a weakling for backup.
Ninety-nine.
One hundred.
Twenty thousand more reps
and I'll have
Iron Pumping Muscles
of Steel.
Barb, are you ready for...
school?
Uh, did I mention
I'm taking a new elective, Pop?
Competitive bodybuilding.
That's my girl.
Thank you all for joining us
this morning.
To symbolize Gotham City's
prominent place
in the global community,
we unveil our new landmark.
The Gotham Globe!
Gold-plated!
As valuable as it is heavy,
I bet.
Don't bother wrapping it.
I'll take
this little bauble as is.
Today, Gotham.
Tomorrow, the world.
Bye, sweetie. Be good.
Define "good."
Gordon.
Joker walked away with it?
I'm on my way.
You go, Pop.
Round 2 with Joker.
Pull it together, Barb,
the Bat needs you.
Thanks, Alfred.
Early start,
haven't had my coffee.
But Joker's already
had his protein shake.
Huh?
Put down the globe.
It's all yours, officer.
Have a ball.
Hey, I got a fab new figure.
And you got
a fab new Batmobile.
Show-and-tell's over, Joker.
Ooh!
Um, ouch.
You only have yourself
to blame for me, Batsy.
We've always taken turns
outsmarting each other,
but you had the muscle.
So I thought I'd stack
the odds in my favor.
Back for more, tiny?
Um, bring it on?
Well, Jim,
Batgirl didn't score
very high in that round.
Let's see if Joker can top her
in the discus throw.
Oh.
Joker takes the gold.
Plan:
you hit clown-boy high,
I hit him low.
He's out of your league.
I've been working out,
you know.
For your own safety,
stay back.
Hey!
Who's up for dodge ball?
Up here if you need me.
Welcome to my world, Bats.
And Planet Joker
is a world of hurt.
Heads up!
Look out!
Bye!
Phew.
Need me yet?
Sir?
I'll need more backup.
Prepare for special delivery.
Batman.
Not good.
Next up, Jim,
we have a new sporting event.
The Batmobile toss!
Where do you think
you're going?
I'm not through with you,
weakling.
If Batman can't beat
super clown, how can I?
Whoa.
A Bat-robot?
Or a muscle suit?
I won't ask again, Batsy.
Hand over your milk money.
Oh, Batgirl,
you stepped up
to heavyweight class.
Here goes nothing.
Yes.
How many rounds can you go
with Sugar Ray Joker?
Let's find out.
Uh-oh. Retro thrusters?
Whoa!
You're a klutz, tiny.
Okay, where's the tutorial
on this thing?
She didn't.
His weak spot.
Whoopsie!
Priceless!
With shtick like that,
Batgal,
you may have
a future in comedy.
Which is more than I can say
for the Batman.
I predict he doesn't have
a future at all.
Ta-ta, tiny!
Great. I can't get up.
And I can't eject.
I had to land
on the escape hatch.
Batman needs my help.
Think, Barbara.
Think outside the box.
Glad I took gymnastics.
I'll get the hang
of this muscle suit.
At least it's gonna lead me
straight to Batman.
Wakey-wakey, Batsy-watsy.
Can't let you sleep through
your own demise, you know.
Hope you like carnival games.
Allow me to demonstrate.
Get the picture?
With you gone, Batsy,
there'll be no one
to stop me
from kicking sand
in Gotham's face.
You forget about Batgirl.
That pip-squeak?
If she stands in my way,
I'll just scrape her
off my shoe.
Now, time to ring your bell.
"Mama's boy"? Just warming up.
Okay, now I'm pumped.
Huh?
You're going down, clown.
You again?
Good girl.
Huh?
Whoa, cheap shot.
Oh, no.
Batman?
Huh?
Batarangs?
Uh, tried that,
didn't hurt him.
Wait. Batman's aiming
for Joker's fuel pump.
He's using brain
to beat brawn.
Sorry, Batsy.
But only the strong survive.
Pardon me, but a tin can
is just begging to be opened.
I'm tiny, Joker.
You can't reach me.
No!
I'm still bigger than you.
But not me, bully.
Look what I found.
Smart move there.
Muscles aren't everything.
Sometimes brains are better
than brawn.
And sometimes being tiny
can be a strength.