The Batman (2004–2008): Season 3, Episode 4 - Fistful of Felt - full transcript

Well, you said we should try
makin' our own money.

Now we'll be makin'
as much as we want of it.

Sir, um, I meant we should
try making honest money.

Ow!
Shut up, dummy.

When I want your opinion,
I'll give it to ya.

Uh, yes, sir.
Sorry, Mr. Scarface, sir.

Now, grab those plates.

I see you're still carrying

that dead weight around.

Believe me, Batman,
I've tried ditchin' the bum,

but he follows me
everywhere I go.



I was talking to
The Ventriloquist.

Well, talk to this!

Pennies from heaven.

Don't forget your change.

Look whose face
is gonna be on the new nickel.

Huh?

Out of the fryin' pan

and into the fire.

Run, dummy.

Tails, you lose.

For today's exercise

I want each of you to reach deep
within your criminal minds

and have a one-on-one
with the innocent voice within.

Mine's not talking.



Must be a mime.

Uh... very well, Joker.

Anyone else care to share?

I'd like to share somethin'.

I don't belong in here
with the rest of you nutjobs.

Ooh.

Little old to be
playin' with dolls, aren't ya?

Who are you
callin' "doll"?

I'll make you eat that monocle!

Oh, he's...

He's only goofing on you.

Maybe you would like
to eat the monocle.

You have quite an interesting
friend there, Mr. Wesker.

Tell me, why do you allow him
to speak to you that way?

The dummy's lucky
I speak to him at all.

Fascinating.

Oh, Mr. Wesker.

After listening to you today,

I would like to propose
a radical treatment program,

one which I believe
might yield dramatic results.

W-w-well, we'll do
whatever will make us

upstanding citizens,
Professor Strange.

Speak for yourself, dummy.

Oh, no, no, Mr. Wesker.

This treatment is not intended

for the both of you.

What are you doin'?

Let go of me.

Oh, no.

Now, there is someone
whom I would like you to meet.

Children are Gotham's
greatest resource.

And the new
interactive children's museum

will help their minds
grow strong.

Now it gives me great pleasure

to introduce the key architect
of this undertaking,

Mr. Bruce Wayne.

Hey, what's that? Look.

Thank you, Mayor Grange.

The dramatic entrance
is intended to represent

that, while I may
fall from the sky,

money doesn't.

Which is why Wayne Industries
will provide the funds necessary

to transform
Gotham's old fish cannery

into its future pride,

the Discoverdrome.

Congratulations, Arnold Wesker.

You are a free man,
in more ways than one.

Thank you,
Professor Strange.

Thank you
for everything.

What is it, Alfred?

The Discoverdrome invitations
arrived misspelled, sir.

Apparently,
you are hosting

a farty.

Not a good time.
I'm tracking Arnold Wesker.

The Ventriloquist?
Wasn't he declared cured, sir?

Maybe too soon.

The Batwave recorded him
talking about doing a job.

And the upscale penthouse
I'm staring at

would fall into that category.

I just don't see Wesker
having the nerve

to go through with it
without his little friend.

Unless he smuggled Scarface
out of Arkham.

Wesker's making his move.

Show's over, Ventrilo...

Will you be my friend?

This is your... job?

Entertaining children.

I have
a new life now, Batman.

And thanks
to Professor Strange,

a silly new friend.

I'm Mr. Snoots.
My favorite color is green.

What's yours?

You may not know his face,

but you remember the voices

of the many wacky characters
he performed

on TV's beloved
Cockamamie Junction.

After the show's cancellation,

puppeteer Arnold Wesker
took a new act on the road

with little success.

In a bizarre twist,

Wesker developed
a true split personality

and embarked on
a life of crime,

becoming the underworld kingpin

known as The Ventriloquist.

Now, after extensive therapy,

Arnold Wesker
is having a fresh start

at what he does best,

bringing children joy.

Who wants candy?

Rather unsettling,
if you ask me.

I'm hoping Wesker's
rehabilitation is for real.

I think I'll consult with
Arkham's Chief of Psychiatry,

Hugo Strange.

Well, I'm most certain
Arnold Wesker would be delighted

to perform
at your gala, Mr. Wayne.

I'm just a little concerned

that the valuables
at our fund-raising auction

might provide
a temptation for him.

Are you certain Wesker's cured?

I'm certain that Arnold Wesker
can be trusted,

as long as Scarface
stays out of the picture.

You've put my mind at ease,
professor.

My pleasure, Mr. Wayne.

Of course, should Scarface

reappear...

Oh. Do you hear that,
Mr. Snoots?

A big job.

Hot diggity!

I know the kids
will love your performance.

There's also gonna be
a fund-raising auction

of some extremely valuable
sports memorabilia.

Wow. Snooterrific.

Well, thank you,
Mr. Snoots.

I'll see you, and your buddy,
Arnold, Saturday night.

Have a silly day.

Well, sir?

Wesker seems okay.
I sure hope that's the case.

Mr. Snoots, I thought
we'd celebrate tonight.

Your favorite,
chocolate chip pancakes.

Mr. Snoots?

Where are you?

Mr. Snoots?

Mr. Snoots?

Have you been snacking
between meals again?

Oh, no, no, no.

Hello, dummy.

You!

How could you?!

For once I was happy!

Why couldn't you
stay out of my life?!

Because you owe me...

dummy.

You left me there
to rot in the can.

I'm... I'm sorry, sir.

They told me you were gone,
for good.

Well, you better not ever
double cross me again,

you little rat.

Yes, sir.
You're the boss.

That's right.

Now let's get the old gang
back together.

I hear we have
a big job to do.

Big night, Bruce.

Let's hope tonight's patrons
step up to the plate.

Some of these items
are worth a fortune.

I'm sorry to interrupt,
Mayor Grange,

but Mr. Wayne
has a call.

Take a message please, Alfred.

It is rather urgent.

Excuse me, mayor.

Sure, Bruce.

Aw. How come you get
to be the dinosaur, Mugsy?

You look ridiculous.

No, Rhino, you look like a smile
that's been kissed by a rainbow.

Stop talking like that.

And youse two,

just stay in character
until I give the signal.

What is it, commissioner?

An anonymous tip?

Wesker's gonna hit the gala.

I see.

Mr. Snoots,

can I have a hug?

Kid, touch me
and I will destroy you.

Mom!

Have a silly day.

Why did you
have to make him cry?

The crying's
just startin'.

Release
the onion gas, boys.

Careful.

They ain't worth
squat damaged.

How'd he get
the jump on us?

Get the Bat.

Not the baseball bats,
you morons,

those are priceless.

Try whackin' the Bat

with somethin'
we're not stealin'!

I smell a rat.

Only one way the Bat
could have found us so quick.

Someone dropped a dime
on our little caper.

It wasn't me, boss.
Me neither.

I know who.

You...
You think it was me?

I didn't do it.
Honest.

Save it, stoolie.
You sold us out.

Didn't I warn you about

double-crossin' me again, dummy?

Please don't do this, sir.
It wasn't me.

I know it was you, Arnie.

You broke my heart.

You broke my heart.

Let her rip, boys.

Here it comes.
Next stop, your face.

Help!

Climb aboard!

Get the Bat.

Climb aboard!

Help!

Free yourself, Wesker.

You don't have to let
Scarface control you.

I'm sorry, sir,
but you leave me no choice.

Will you
just lie there, dummy?

Yes, sir. Sorry.

Here comes Choo-Choo Chucky.

Chugga-chugga, choo-choo!

Now you pay
for rattin' me out.

Wesker wasn't your rat.

It was him.

Mr. Snoots?

He's the rat?

It's true,
I called the police.

Well, I'm gonna
turn you inside out.

Bring it on.

Howdy, partner!

I'm gonna wipe
that stupid smile off your face,

once and for all.

Ha! Ho, ho!

Ha! Wha!
Ha, ha, ha, ha!

No!

End of the line!

He was the most special guy

in the whole wide
wonderful world.

If you're referring
to Mr. Snoots,

there may be hope
for you yet.

You planted Scarface
in Wesker's apartment.

Why?

I had to put my treatment
to the test, Batman.

You know, to see
if the criminal mind

can ever really
be cured.

I don't approve of your methods,
Professor Strange.

Says the man
who dresses like a bat.

I'll be watching you.