The Batman (2004–2008): Season 2, Episode 6 - Pets - full transcript
Penguin discovers a sonic device that allows him to turn Man-Bat into his personal slave. Meanwhile, Alfred must deal with a raccoon that has found its way into the Bat-Cave and is wreaking havoc on the electrical equipment.
Come to me.
Return to your cage.
Now, if I could just get
one of these to work on my kids.
Hey there, little fella.
Out poaching for Penguin?
What took you so long?
You are late. Again!
Zip it! I'm through with you birdbrains.
You're not wise enough.
You eat too much meat.
You are always crowing
about something or other.
And you, finch.
Don't get me started on you
and your bird pies.
Indoors?
I have had it with you slabs.
Well, you and your doo-doo
are going the way of the dodo.
So say hello to your replacement.
A rare condor.
So vicious even I can't train it.
But with this specialized sonic thingy...
...I can command any bird
to do my bidding.
Observe.
I am your master.
Come to me.
Come to me.
Come to me.
I am your master.
Come to me.
Come to me.
Come to me.
You'll see.
It's a matter of time
before I recreate my formula...
...which will allow me to once again
rule Gotham's night skies...
...as Man-Bat.
Okay. Do you want these
chimichangas or not, Langstrom?
Come to me.
Come to me.
The noise.
What noise?
Turn it off, please.
Get it out of my head!
Come to me.
I said come to me, already!
All right, I'm sorry!
Lousy hunk of junk!
Who the what are you?
And what do bats have
against me, anyway?
Get away, you.
Get away!
Get away?
Come to me.
Fan me.
I said fan your master.
Pity this won't work on birdies.
I'll just have to make do...
...with a ferocious,
giant bat monster instead!
A flurry of moths, sir?
Penguin's pets.
Didn't have a shot at tracking them
to his whereabouts...
...but it doesn't add up.
Oswald Cobblepot's always
been after the big payday...
...jewels, gold, money...
...but a tech robbery?
Sonics?
Batwave.
An alarm has been tripped
at Gotham National Bank.
Now that's the Penguin I know.
Oh, dear.
Intruder alert?
Evacuate the cave. I'm on my way.
That will be most unnecessary, sir.
I believe I can handle
our masked intruder myself.
Blast!
Either Penguin's been working out...
...or he needs a manicure.
Man-Bat.
Wouldn't a blood bank
be more your style, Langstrom?
The money.
Bring me the money.
Score.
Look. Super-bat's proving
you tweeters are for the birds.
Stop fooling around!
Get rid of The Batman!
The Batman, not the money!
Down, boy.
Since when does Man-Bat rob banks?
Since Penguin started stealing
sonic technology.
Blast.
- Our intruder?
- Not to worry, sir.
My grip on that scoundrel
tightens as we speak.
I'm on a wild animal hunt myself, Alfred.
And I have a hunch our bird heist
will shed some light on our bat heist.
Rest up, my giant bat-pet.
More crimes to commit
for el pinguino tomorrow.
You. You! Get out of my head!
Where's my bat-pet?
I am no one's pet.
I am Dr. Kirk Langstrom, scientist.
And one of the greatest
minds in Gotham.
No.
I, Penguin, am one of the greatest.
So that's the wretched
device which controls me.
Its frequency must have triggered
my echolocation bat-hearing...
...and reactivated dormant traces
of the serum in my system...
transforming me into Man-Bat.
Yeah, whatever.
So I just gotta flip this puppy on
to turn nerd-guy back into Man-Bat?
I shall allow you to live, Penguin,
if you hand it to me now.
Hand what to you, huh?
This? This?
Then be sure you never lose it...
...for the first opportunity I get,
I shall clip your flightless wings.
I've repaired the device, Alfred.
Diagnostics indicate it's a sonic emitter,
encoded to communicate with birds.
But it can be adjusted to
emit different frequencies.
My guess is the one penguin ended up with
was configured to control bats.
Man-Bat may have
the physical advantage over The Batman...
...but if we can use this device
to capture Penguin's frequency...
...we might have a shot at breaking
Penguin's spell over his slave.
Gad! That wretched creature
made off with the bait.
It may be time to use Wayne Industries'
media connections to lay some bait.
“Golden penguin statue.“
Now, how could they bring
something like that to Gotham...
...and not expect me to steal it?
Idiots!
And it's already boxed for takeout.
Penguin's about to take the bait, Alfred.
I await your signal, sir.
All right, Fido.
Time to fetch .
- Alfred, I've captured Penguin's signal.
- Got it, sir.
Batwave is translating its frequency.
That's what I'm talking about.
Sinewy strands of monster muscle.
Could you do that, vulture?
I didn't think so.
Please don't break, please don't break.
Bowling balls?
It's a trick!
So you like pinatas, Batman?
Let's find out what you're filled with.
Man-Bat, attack!
Standing by, Alfred.
Frequency translation complete.
Prepare to receive, sir.
Sir, can you hear me?
Blast.
Stop.
Stop.
Alfred, do you copy?
Hold on, Master Bruce.
No reception. I'm flying solo.
Gotta buy some time.
Pound him into bat guano.
How about a game of Hide and Seek?
Oh, the shadows won't
conceal you, Batman.
My Man-Bat can hear in the dark.
Not too fond of confined spaces?
Power. Where's the backup power?
How can one hungry
ball of hair do so much damage?
These are terrible seats.
I'm missing all the fun.
Almost there.
We have transmission.
Stop.
You really did bring this
upon yourself, you know.
And the champion returns.
So the mighty Batman is finally...
Oh, boy.
Bring me Penguin,
by whatever means necessary.
Finch, help me.
Someone, please...
Next time, Penguin, stick to birds.
Hi, Dr. Langstrom.
Now that Penguin and Langstrom
are roosting in Arkham where they belong...
...we may wanna think about
installing an anti-rodent barrier.
Nice mask.
In case you were considering
taking on a sidekick, sir.
I think Penguin and I are through
with pets for the time being.
Return to your cage.
Now, if I could just get
one of these to work on my kids.
Hey there, little fella.
Out poaching for Penguin?
What took you so long?
You are late. Again!
Zip it! I'm through with you birdbrains.
You're not wise enough.
You eat too much meat.
You are always crowing
about something or other.
And you, finch.
Don't get me started on you
and your bird pies.
Indoors?
I have had it with you slabs.
Well, you and your doo-doo
are going the way of the dodo.
So say hello to your replacement.
A rare condor.
So vicious even I can't train it.
But with this specialized sonic thingy...
...I can command any bird
to do my bidding.
Observe.
I am your master.
Come to me.
Come to me.
Come to me.
I am your master.
Come to me.
Come to me.
Come to me.
You'll see.
It's a matter of time
before I recreate my formula...
...which will allow me to once again
rule Gotham's night skies...
...as Man-Bat.
Okay. Do you want these
chimichangas or not, Langstrom?
Come to me.
Come to me.
The noise.
What noise?
Turn it off, please.
Get it out of my head!
Come to me.
I said come to me, already!
All right, I'm sorry!
Lousy hunk of junk!
Who the what are you?
And what do bats have
against me, anyway?
Get away, you.
Get away!
Get away?
Come to me.
Fan me.
I said fan your master.
Pity this won't work on birdies.
I'll just have to make do...
...with a ferocious,
giant bat monster instead!
A flurry of moths, sir?
Penguin's pets.
Didn't have a shot at tracking them
to his whereabouts...
...but it doesn't add up.
Oswald Cobblepot's always
been after the big payday...
...jewels, gold, money...
...but a tech robbery?
Sonics?
Batwave.
An alarm has been tripped
at Gotham National Bank.
Now that's the Penguin I know.
Oh, dear.
Intruder alert?
Evacuate the cave. I'm on my way.
That will be most unnecessary, sir.
I believe I can handle
our masked intruder myself.
Blast!
Either Penguin's been working out...
...or he needs a manicure.
Man-Bat.
Wouldn't a blood bank
be more your style, Langstrom?
The money.
Bring me the money.
Score.
Look. Super-bat's proving
you tweeters are for the birds.
Stop fooling around!
Get rid of The Batman!
The Batman, not the money!
Down, boy.
Since when does Man-Bat rob banks?
Since Penguin started stealing
sonic technology.
Blast.
- Our intruder?
- Not to worry, sir.
My grip on that scoundrel
tightens as we speak.
I'm on a wild animal hunt myself, Alfred.
And I have a hunch our bird heist
will shed some light on our bat heist.
Rest up, my giant bat-pet.
More crimes to commit
for el pinguino tomorrow.
You. You! Get out of my head!
Where's my bat-pet?
I am no one's pet.
I am Dr. Kirk Langstrom, scientist.
And one of the greatest
minds in Gotham.
No.
I, Penguin, am one of the greatest.
So that's the wretched
device which controls me.
Its frequency must have triggered
my echolocation bat-hearing...
...and reactivated dormant traces
of the serum in my system...
transforming me into Man-Bat.
Yeah, whatever.
So I just gotta flip this puppy on
to turn nerd-guy back into Man-Bat?
I shall allow you to live, Penguin,
if you hand it to me now.
Hand what to you, huh?
This? This?
Then be sure you never lose it...
...for the first opportunity I get,
I shall clip your flightless wings.
I've repaired the device, Alfred.
Diagnostics indicate it's a sonic emitter,
encoded to communicate with birds.
But it can be adjusted to
emit different frequencies.
My guess is the one penguin ended up with
was configured to control bats.
Man-Bat may have
the physical advantage over The Batman...
...but if we can use this device
to capture Penguin's frequency...
...we might have a shot at breaking
Penguin's spell over his slave.
Gad! That wretched creature
made off with the bait.
It may be time to use Wayne Industries'
media connections to lay some bait.
“Golden penguin statue.“
Now, how could they bring
something like that to Gotham...
...and not expect me to steal it?
Idiots!
And it's already boxed for takeout.
Penguin's about to take the bait, Alfred.
I await your signal, sir.
All right, Fido.
Time to fetch .
- Alfred, I've captured Penguin's signal.
- Got it, sir.
Batwave is translating its frequency.
That's what I'm talking about.
Sinewy strands of monster muscle.
Could you do that, vulture?
I didn't think so.
Please don't break, please don't break.
Bowling balls?
It's a trick!
So you like pinatas, Batman?
Let's find out what you're filled with.
Man-Bat, attack!
Standing by, Alfred.
Frequency translation complete.
Prepare to receive, sir.
Sir, can you hear me?
Blast.
Stop.
Stop.
Alfred, do you copy?
Hold on, Master Bruce.
No reception. I'm flying solo.
Gotta buy some time.
Pound him into bat guano.
How about a game of Hide and Seek?
Oh, the shadows won't
conceal you, Batman.
My Man-Bat can hear in the dark.
Not too fond of confined spaces?
Power. Where's the backup power?
How can one hungry
ball of hair do so much damage?
These are terrible seats.
I'm missing all the fun.
Almost there.
We have transmission.
Stop.
You really did bring this
upon yourself, you know.
And the champion returns.
So the mighty Batman is finally...
Oh, boy.
Bring me Penguin,
by whatever means necessary.
Finch, help me.
Someone, please...
Next time, Penguin, stick to birds.
Hi, Dr. Langstrom.
Now that Penguin and Langstrom
are roosting in Arkham where they belong...
...we may wanna think about
installing an anti-rodent barrier.
Nice mask.
In case you were considering
taking on a sidekick, sir.
I think Penguin and I are through
with pets for the time being.