The Awesomes (2013–2015): Season 3, Episode 10 - The Final Showdown - full transcript

Previously on The Awesomes:

Awesomes, I've come to warn you.

Mr. Awesome is evil.

He must be stopped.

And that is why I have
decided to run for president.

Why is he running
for president?

He already has the power
to do whatever he wants

without winning
some dumb election.

That's what I thought,
but then I remembered

there is one reason he
would need to win an election:

the Destroyo Bullet.



If your blood is an 80%
genetic match or above,

that should make your
blood strong enough

to cancel out the serum.

♪

Higher than I
thought it would be.

What if we use
someone else's blood,

a stronger hero?

It has to be the genetic code

that comes directly
from your father.

But I don't have any siblings.

Well, actually
maybe you do.

♪

Hotwire, where have
you been, are you okay?

I'm fine.



Actually maybe I
need to sit down.

This bad ass just broke
into Awesome Mountain alone,

and, boy, did
she get some info.

I wasn't alone,
Concierge got me

through it with her drone.

Drone, you brought Jeffry?

Oh, did someone call my name?

I was organizing
my jazz albums

by beats per minute.

(scatting)

Get out of here, Jeffry.

What kind of info?

Dad, you said that in
order to reverse the serum

in Mr. Awesome, you need
the blood from his children.

It turns out Prock is
not the only son he had.

(gasps)

A folder!

I'm guessing there's something

inside the folder, Frantic.

You might want to
save your gasp for that.

-(gasps)
-A folder!

You know, I collect folders.

That looks like it's
in pretty good condition.

I think right over here--

Jeffry.

-What is it?
-This is the secret file

that Fuego gave me.

I didn't look at it
because I trusted my dad.

♪

Perfect Man is
Mr. Awesome's son.

(gasping)

(whistling)

-Nothing?
-I'm sorry, wait, what?

Oh, did I miss the gasp?

Mind, why do you have to drift?

Which means Perfect
Man is my brother.

-Half brother.
-Buddy, are you okay?

How could my dad
keep this a secret?

If there was ever
a kid that needed

an older brother, it was me.

How could he be such
a bastard to deny me that

and pit us against each
other all these years?

Honey, long before
your father took some serum

and became evil,
he was kind of an asshole.

Yeah, you know the saying.

Dads are like assholes;
yours is one.

-I haven't heard that saying.
-It's pretty famous.

The truth is, Jeremy,

it wasn't about you,
it's about him.

He needed to be
the great Mr. Awesome,

and if that meant keeping
his love child quiet, so be it.

At least you knew
who your dad was.

Perfect Man spent his whole
life not knowing the truth.

I thought my dad
was a hero, but he's not.

He's a villain,
and he always has been.

(sighs)

Can I say something?

Pork, you are a smart boy,

but sometimes you got
the brain of a dummy.

You need to understand
that everybody's not just

heroes and villains.

Look around this room.

Hero, weirdo,

hero eating a hero,

ex-villain and
possibly ghost husband,

another weirdo,

hero/traitor/
hero/pregnant lady.

Everybody's got a
little something-something,

but one thing we all got
is that we are looking to you

to tell us what to do,

'cause you're a Pork,
the leader of the Awesomes.

♪

Thank you, Lady
Malocchio; it's Prock,

but other than that,
you're totally right.

-Prock?
-(laughs)

That's a silly name.

I'm sorry I took so long

to see the truth
about my father,

but that's over,
so let's get started.

First things first,
where's Perfect Man?

He's trapped in
a chamber in a vault

buried deep in Awesome Mountain.

Aw, man.

Ooh, I love chambers.

You want to see my
pewter chamber collection

or my Chambers of South
America coffee table book?

Jeffry!

♪

♪ This feels
awesome ♪

♪ This feels awesome ♪

♪ Yeah, this feels awesome ♪

♪

♪ Yeah, this feels awesome ♪

♪ This feels awesome ♪

♪ This feels
awesome ♪

♪ This feels so awesome ♪♪

♪

♪

So thank you, America.

I promise I have plans for you,

very special plans.

(glass breaking)

I'm sorry, Mr. President,

he just barged in.

Apologies for the
intrusion, Maury.

But I just saw you on TV.

Super speed never gets old.

Wait, do it again.

All right, all right.

(applause)

-Amazing.
-Now, to the matter at hand.

I'm going to need access

to the Destroyo Bullet ASAP.

Access to the Destroyo Bullet
isn't granted to the president

on election day.

It's after the swearing in.

That's months away.

No wonder everyone
complains about Washington.

Everything moves so slow here.

People complain?

I thought I was
doin' a good job.

So let me tell you
how this is gonna go.

You're gonna tell me
where the bullet is,

or I'm gonna melt your
brain with my heat vision.

♪

Thanks for the info, Maury.

Always a pleasure.

♪

Okay, if we're right,
my dad will be tryin'

to get his hands on
the Destroyo Bullet.

That means now is the time

for us to attack
Awesome Mountain

and break out Perfect Man.

-I'm back.
-And?

It's done.

Okay, now once we
neutralize the New Awesomes,

we break out Perfect
Man, we get his blood,

then we somehow trick my dad

into agreeing to
a blood transfusion

to turn him from an evil prick

to just a regular prick.

And how would we do that?

I don't know that part yet.

Now describe the container
Perfect Man was trapped in.

About eight feet tall,

window pane on the
front, cold to the touch.

Sounds like my ex-wife.

You don't have an ex-wife.

-The ice prison.
-You know it?

I designed it.

Great, so you'll know
how to get him out.

There's a code
but I don't know it.

No problem, I'll rip it open.

To break the locks
without a code,

you'll need something stronger

than even you, Muscleman.

Like an atomic blast

or a sonic boom.

A sonic boom?

Gadget Gal, Sumo,
Muscleman, Frantic,

Impresario, head
to Awesome Mountain

and show them who's boss.

Malocchios, come with me.

Ooh, are we going
out for frozen yogurt?

No, we're going
to a family reunion.

♪

Yes, Mr. President,

and while I applaud
your decision-making

for placing this call,

I derisively boo you
for your cowardice

in revealing the secret
location of the bullet.

What's that--
well, it was meant

to be a cutting comment,

so you didn't take
it the wrong way.

Good day.

Attention all staff.

We have a Code Five in progress.

I repeat, a Code Five.

A Code Five?

That sounds bad.

But as for your staff,
I'm afraid they're all--

how would you say
it--incapacitated.

Hm, I'm sorry to hear that.

Now what can I help you with?

I guess I shouldn't be surprised

that you're the one entrusted

with the Destroyo
Bullet--it makes sense.

You've always been
the kind of person

that loved keeping
heroes like me down.

Oh, I just think power
should never go unchecked,

but as for the bullet,
I'm afraid the president

led you astray--
it's not here.

Well, then you wouldn't mind
showing me what's in the safe

that's hidden
behind that painting.

Hm, your eyesight
is as good as ever.

(soft thud)

It's always so sad
when lesser heroes

try to stop the real thing.

But I was just one.

What happens when all of
them rise up against you?

(evil laughter)

And this bullet was the only
thing that could stop me--

that and Perfect Man,

and he's safely locked away.

Well, you know what they say.

Pride cometh before the--

Look, is there any way
you could set me down?

It's impossible to make
a point at this angle,

though it is
great for my core.

Sorry.

♪

Air holes--seems a little humane

for an evil villain.

I just wanted you
to live long enough

to see the world the way
it was meant to be seen:

with humanity enslaved
and heroes in charge.

(whistling)

I hope you know what
you're doing, Prock.

Can we stop at my apartment?

If we're going
for frozen yogurt,

I'd like to get
my customer card.

We're not going for froyo, Mom.

We're getting the one person
that can break Perfect Man

out of that chamber,

and he's in that
prison right there.

♪

Maybe he knows Malocchio Jr,

'cause he lives
in that house too.

Yes, that's--nevermind.

We're going to break
my son out of prison?

But Prock, he's evil,

and isn't that illegal?

Technically sure,
but if we don't,

Mr. Awesome is
gonna destroy us all,

so what do you say
you put some of that

Malocchio mind control to work

and bust your son out of jail?

Oh man, I would love to,

but I feel like if I
backslide even a little bit

with the old evil,
it would be trouble.

It's a slippery slope.

Son of a bitch.

Would you eat a cookie
if you were on a diet?

I would if it
would save the world!

I'd eat a cookie any day.

♪

He won the election.

What are we waiting for?

He told us to wait
until he got back.

Ooh, if I don't
bust some heads soon,

I'm gonna lose my mind!

Will our heads do?

♪

Yeah, I heard you
guys want some head.

-No.
-Well, well, well,

if it isn't the
Awesomes for Hire.

We're just going by
the Awesomes again,

and you're in our house.

(grunting)

♪

We're technically still
available for paid work,

though, if you know anybody.

♪

(zapping)

(grunting)

(zapping)

(grunting)

I'm so sorry I can't
help with this jailbreak.

I can feel some resentment

in the knowing that if I
used my mind control powers

it would be a--a lot easier,

but as a good person,

I just don't feel
comfortable doing it.

Could you just
stop talking about it?

Hotwire, behind you!

I would love to, but
I'm overcome with guilt

because I love you all,

and it just stinks
not to be able to help,

but how can I make it up to you?

Maybe I'll just hypnotize you

into not being mad at me.

(grunting)

Oh, right.

I think that's all of them.

Concierge, any luck
with those schematics?

He should be in
cell block C, row 21.

Let's go.

♪

Rikki-Tikki-Tavi, baby.

♪

Whoa, Nelly!

This is so embarrassing.

Can I have a sugar cube?

Mm, thank you.

I'm disappointed, Sumo.

I didn't think someone
so big would run away

so quickly.

Cannonball!

(grunting)

♪

Stand still!

-How's this?
-Perfect.

♪

Oh, I'm sorry,
did you need these?

-My boob guns!
-Real talk,

you look better without them.

I'm sorry, what's your power?

I, like, break codes and stuff.

So strengthwise, I'm a
terrible match-up for you?

Yeah, I was kinda hopin'

I'd square off
against Concierge.

She's back at Prock's
mom's house running things.

-Bummer.
-Tell you what,

if you jump in the water

and just swim away
as far as you can,

we don't have to do this.

Thanks.

♪

So now what?

♪

Hey, dude, I don't know
who you think you are,

but there's one of
you and five of us.

Dude, dude?

Excuse me?

I am a 47-year-old female

super ... miracle, okay?

I am a fearless,
sneaky ninja, okay?

I can get in and out of
anywhere and everywhere,

and not only that,

under all of this,

I look like what Beyoncé
wishes she looked like.

Oh, and one more thing,

I helped Hotwire escape,

and I was only comin' over here

to see if you needed my help

breakin' Perfect Man out, okay?

But you're one
of the New Awesomes.

Why do you want
to free Perfect Man?

Because while they were
makin' their evil plans,

all I could think about
is how much I wanted

to get with Perfect Man,

in a sexual way.

Good to have you aboard.

♪

Total number of people?

I think it's around
7 billion, give or take.

Sure, sure, some
of 'em are kids,

but they won't
stay kids forever.

They'll grow into a labor
force, I promise you that.

How soon will it take
for you to get here?

One whole year?

No, no, of course, it's a
different galaxy after all.

Well, I'll just
have to figure out

somethin' to do
with them until then.

Okay, say hi to Smorg for me.

Thanks for patchin'
me through, fellas.

Who were you talking to?

Even if you knew,
you wouldn't be able

to do anything about it.

I'd just try to relax
and take what comes.

(whistling)

♪

There he is.

♪

(zapping)

♪

Get that mask off his face!

Dr. Malocchio,
he took the serum.

-He's evil now.
-He's my son.

Glinda, please.

Okay.

My boy, my beautiful boy!

(otherworldly shriek)

That really hurt.

Oh man, I'm sorry, Dad.

Wait, you're not dead?

He's a ghost.

I know your blood is
telling you that you're evil,

but look in my eyes.

I am your father,
and I'm telling you

that you are the best
person I have ever met.

-Hey!
-Not now, Mom.

Okay.

(otherworldly shriek)

Hey, what happened back there?

I thought you
were convincing him.

The moment he realized
he hurt a family member,

the good came back,
but only for a moment.

The serum is just too strong.

Back to Awesome Mountain?

Yes, and let's hope
the team is doin' okay.

That was easier than
I thought it would be.

(snickering)

We were only supposed
to keep you busy.

-Keep us busy until what?
-Until he got back.

Until who gets back?

(whooshing sound)

Now let's say we find out
how awesome you actually are.

Hold on a second, Mr. Awesome

Until who gets back?

Concierge, give us an update.

Prock, what are you doing?

You just ran a yellow light.

Mr. Awesome just got back.

We'll be there
as fast as we can.

Oh, I hope they can hold him.

♪

(grunts)

♪

Let's dance, baby--ow!

(evil laughter)

Finally the big boys.

(grunting)

♪

(grunting)

(whistling)

♪

Oh, come on,
Arlene, give it up.

All your friends
are out of commission.

Oh--when you're as old as I am,

you have no
shortage of friends.

♪

And acquaintances.

♪

Not a safe I've met yet
that can hold the Fireplug.

Well, we'd better
get this over with.

♪

(shouting)

(zapping)

(footsteps)

♪

This looks familiar;
I think we're close.

It should be the next right.

♪

Wow, that's my brother.

So I did with both--

We don't have to
talk about that.

We don't ever have
to talk about that.

I'll meet you there.

♪

(grunting)

♪

(speaking Dutch)

♪

What in the?

♪

Can't hold it much longer.

Surprise, bitch!

(laughing)

If that's the best you've got...

No, the best I have
is a distraction.

♪

Oh, come on!

I dated this man
for 14 months,

and I'm almost positive he
doesn't know my first name.

It's Katherine,
you son of a bitch.

(otherworldly shriek)

-Hey!
-Oh man,

that stress reduction pod

really hit the spot.

-Hey Betty.
-Katherine.

Prock, where am
I, what happened?

Mr. Awesome is evil

and he froze you in that pod,

but I think you'll be okay now.

Frozen--that
explains the crazy dreams.

Prock, I dreamt that
you and I were brothers.

You know, all this time

I've been trying
to find my family,

but you actually
gave me a family.

You gave us all one.

You brought the
New Awesomes together,

and for some reason
you let me be part of it.

I never gave you a single
reason to call me a friend,

but you brought me in.

I've been meaning to
say this for a long time.

Thank you, Prock.

There's something
else I have to tell you.

You don't want to tell me
about a dream now, too, do you?

Because it's really boring

to hear about
someone else's dreams.

I'm not gonna tell you
about one of my dreams.

Thank God, so what's up?

Mr. Awesome is your father.

You're my brother.

No way!

(weeping)

Should I start a crybaby chant?

-Not now, Mom.
-Okay.

♪

How about now?

♪

We have the blood;
now all you have to do

is get him in a position

where we can
administer the transfusion.

And Perfect Man,
there's one more thing.

(whispering)

-Trust me?
-I trust you.

I was here earlier.

If you go down the hall
about a hundred yards,

there's a vent that
leads straight up and--

(rumbling)

That works, too.

Guys, guys?

♪

(grunting)

♪

Well, I'll give you this:

You didn't stop me,
but I can't remember

the last time I broke a sweat.

Now if you'll excuse--

Hey Dad.

Remember me?

(grunting)

(high-pitched whoosh)

(grunting)

Apologies for the turbulence,

but it seems we flew
through a superhero fight.

So did you get the blood?

We did, but it's not
gonna do us any good

unless Perfect Man
can pull this off.

♪

Duck,

duck,

goose.

(honks)

I've spent my life trying
to figure out who I was

and you knew the whole time?

It was for the greater good.

The world wasn't
going to support a hero

who had multiple
children out of wedlock.

Tell that to the NBA.

I did it for the country.

You did it for the same
reason you do everything:

You did it for yourself.

No!

♪

Syringe, please.

(chuckling)

Very impressive.

I guess I am getting old.

That's the first
time anyone has beat me.

Thank God I have this.

♪

It's loaded with
the Destroyo Bullet.

Perhaps you've heard of it.

The personal massager

Concierge keeps
in her nightstand?

No, and what were you
doin' in my nightstand?

This is the only bullet
strong enough to stop me,

so therefore the only bullet

strong enough to stop you.

-Now hold on.
-Dad, no!

I have plans, plans that I'm
not going to let anyone stop,

not any of you heroes

and certainly
not any of my sons.

♪

Ah!

♪

No!

♪

Perfect Man, are you...

It's over for Perfect Man,

but don't be sad.

I died amongst friends,

and I died knowing I had
a brother who loved me.

♪

No, what have I done?

Dear God, what have I done?

He's my son.

I've killed my son!

♪

(grunting)

(screaming)

♪

(whooshing sound)

The evil, it's gone.

I'm back to normal.

But it's too late.

I killed Perfect Man.

-Psyche!
-More ghosts.

But how, I shot you
with the Destroyo Bullet.

No you didn't, because
this is the Destroyo Bullet.

You shot him with
a decoy bullet.

(laughing)

You were always so good
at making decoys of things.

Yeah, and you and Mom
were always so good

at throwing away my
beloved possessions.

I never understood
why you wanted those

little plastic knick-knacks.

Those were my asthma inhalers.

I don't understand.

Fill him in, Prockydoo.

Well, I knew we couldn't
let my dad get his hands

on the Destroyo Bullet,

and I've been makin'
decoys for years,

so I crafted a decoy
bullet as fast as I could.

No one knows who guards
the Destroyo Bullet,

but I assumed
they would be crazy

to pick anyone other
than Joyce Mandrake.

When the election ended,

Prock called me and told me

Mr. Awesome would
be showing up soon.

But before he showed up...

I did, with the decoy bullet

that Prock had me run over.

But that only
gave you the bullet.

How did you know what
he would do with it?

I didn't, I just knew that
I would need the real bullet

if there were no other
way to stop my dad.

But at the same time,
I couldn't imagine

hurting a family member no
matter how evil he had become,

and when I saw Malocchio
Jr let his guard down

after hurting his father,

I realized that I needed
Mr. Awesome to do the same.

So he told me to get Mr. Awesome

to use the bullet on me...

Which would give me an
opening to inject the blood.

Meanwhile, I planted a
bomb in Awesome Mountain.

What, you weren't
supposed to do that?

-Huh?
-(explosion)

-Prock, that's incredible.
-You did it, son.

I can't believe that worked.

Ah, it was easy--stop.

(panting)

Oh my God, I can't
believe that worked.

Oh, I'm gonna throw up.

I swear to God
I'm gonna throw up.

Pull yourself together,
pull yourself together,

together, together,
okay, okay, okay.

Start--and besides,
it had to work.

Stop.

(vomits)

♪

-Start.
-I think it's time

for a big old Awesomes hug.

Let's bring it in, everybody.

Mm!

♪

Get in here, Dad.

♪

♪

(baby cooing)

You hit "Contacts,"
then start typin' the name.

Oh look, it comes right up.

Italy is so beautiful.

It better be.

Most of my family
can't go back to America

for the reason of that
they would be arrested

for their criminal times.

Prock, it's the president.

(baby coos)

Madame President, how are you?

I hope there's not a problem.

The only problem
would be you not enjoying

the one year anniversary
of saving the world,

and income inequality--

really gotta do
something about that.

Ah, that's kind of you to say.

Oh, and I sent over
some expensive wine,

but for some reason the only
credit card we had on file

was Impresarios.

-The fuh?
-Enjoy!

I'm jealous of you, son.

Seriously, why is that?

I'm the most
powerful hero on Earth,

but you have the
one power I don't.

Connecting with teens,
right, so rad.

You make families.

When the Awesomes fell apart,

you refused to let it die

and found just the right
people to make it work.

When I robbed you of the
chance to have a brother,

you went out and
found one on your own.

Malocchios and Awesomes
have been fighting for decades,

but thanks to you, we're family.

You created a place
where Perfect Man

could come out of the closet.

Mm, whoa, oh...

Those nunchucks
in your pocket?

Oh, oh, they are.

Oh, that's actually a woman,
a 47-year-old black woman.

Get the hell out of here!

But most importantly,
you did all of this

despite having a father
who wasn't worth a damn

when it came to being a parent.

No man is perfect--oh no.

Did I hear my inverted name?

Hey Perfect Man.

We're actually
kinda havin' a moment.

Cool, I should get
back to SBD anyway.

What did I tell you
about walkin' away

when we in the middle
of our nasty business?

(laughs)

I'm not jokin'.

Do you ever think back
to when you were evil?

It's all so blurry.

Sometimes I think
my plan had to be more

than just being president.

What was it that
I was trying to do?

Mr. Awesome, we
have finally arrived

to collect the humans
you have promised us.

I just remembered.

♪

♪ How am I supposed
to know that you're high

if you won't
let me touch you ♪

♪ Whoa oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ How am I supposed
to know that you're high

if you won't even dance ♪

♪ Whoa oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ How am I supposed
to know that you're high

if you won't
even dance ♪

♪ Yeah, you won't
even dance ♪♪

♪

♪