The Andy Griffith Show (1960–1968): Season 3, Episode 17 - High Noon in Mayberry - full transcript

Starring Andy Griffith...

With Ronny Howard...

Also starring Don knotts.

Mailman.

Oh, yeah, I'll get it.

I'll take it, Billy ray.

Oh, no, you don't.
The mail must go through.

But I'm standing right here.
Hand it to me, Billy ray.

You're not
an authorized receptacle.

Well, he's an official
of this county.

Means nothing to me.
I'm a fed.



Wait till you park
that mail truck of yours

in an illegal spot sometime.

As long as I'm carrying
registered mail,

I got the right of way
over ambulances,

polices cars, fire engines,
and heavier than aircraft.

Put a mail sack on some people,

goes right to their heads!

"Occupant... occupant...

Occupant..."

Anything for me?

This is not your mailing
address, Otis.

"Occupant... occupant..."

Mm.
"Andy Taylor."

"Barney Fife."



"Barney Fife."

Hey, get this, Andy...
"amalgamated oxidation

"and aluminum corporation
of America.

"Dear sir, we are
pleased to announce

"that as a result
of a banner year

"in both production and sales

"your company
has declared a dividend

for all shareholders."

I'll be dogged.

Is there a check in there?

Yeah... "enclosed,
find check for 27 cents."

How about that?

Yeah.
Yeah.

I didn't know you was
in the stock market.

Yeah, well,
I got an eighth of a share

with Floyd and Wally
and some of the boys.

Good idea.

Well, you know, you got
to plan for the future.

Yeah.

Huh?

Something the matter?

I don't know.

Look here.

Luke comstock.

Luke comstock...

I know that name.

Wait a minute.

Ain't he the fella you wounded

in that gas station holdup?

Yeah, yeah.

Shot him in the leg.

Never did do too good.

Last I heard, his leg
went kind of game.

Oh, that's a shame.

Yeah.

1952... that's a long time ago.

"Been wanting to see you
for a long time

to set things straight
between us."

Well, look,
he should've known better

than to hold up that service
station in the first place.

And he shot at you first,
remember?

And you could've killed him,
but you didn't.

What a nerve.

Now he's coming here
to gun you down for revenge.

Gun me down?

Well, it's all right here, Andy,

between the lines

all you got to do
is look for it.

Well, I don't know
about that, Barn.

Well, what do you think
he's coming here for?

To give you a medal

for saving the gas station?

Well, I don't rightly know
why he's coming here.

I reckon I'll

just have to wait and see.

You don't know why
he's coming here?

Well, maybe there's something
about this I don't know.

Maybe he's a long lost relative
or a lodge brother.

Or maybe he just misses
the fun you used to have

shooting him in the leg.

Come on, Barn.
Now, you listen to me

and you listen good.

Everything about that letter...

The way it's written,
the way it's folded

the way the envelope is sealed...

Everything about it
says just one thing:

R-e-v-e-n-g.

"Reveng?"

You know what I mean.

I'm not going
to take no for an answer.

You've got to get out of town
for a week.

Go up to the mountains,
fish a little bit.

Barney, I don't want
to leave town.

Now, like I say,

let's just wait and see
what Luke's coming here for.

All right, all right, all right.

I'm not going to argue with you.

But let me do this...

Let me deputize some of the boys

and give you some protection.

No.

Then wear a gun.

No!

Hello. Sheriff's office.

Oh, yes, Mrs. Peterson.

Oh.

Well, I'll take care
of it right away.

Yes, ma'am. Bye.

Mrs. Peterson's fluffy's
on the roof again.

This is a time for pussycats?

With a killer on the loose?

Well, fluffy's got kittens

and you know how you feel
seeing your mother on the roof.

Andy...

Take this.

Put it under your shirt.

I won't need it, Barn.

Fluffy and I
have been friends for years.

Okay... but if you
get all shot up

I don't even want
to hear about it!

All right, men

Andy might get back any minute

so let's get this over with.

We've got to give him
24-hour protection.

Raise your right hands
and repeat after me.

As a deputy of the county
of Mayberry

I swear to uphold the...

Otis, get your hand up.

My time is up, Barney.

Can't I go home now?

You listen to me... if anything
should happen to Andy

we might get us a new sheriff.

And if we get a new sheriff

he might not be so easy on you.

You might not be able
to wander in and out of here

at your own convenience.

Now, get your hand up!

As a deputy of the county...

Can I ask a question?

Yeah.

Are we going to get guns?

You are.

Do we get to ride in a patrol car?
You do.

You're a fool, Otis.

This is gonna be fun.

Be quiet, gomer.
Sounds like somebody could get hurt.

Isn't that right?

Could be.
That's what bothers me.

I never cared much
about injuries.

They're very painful.

I don't want any part of this.

Now, you listen to me,
both of you...

We're here to protect
one of the all-time greats.

And how you can even think...

Think, mind you...
Of backing down

is beyond me and mine.

I realize that some of you
have family responsibilities

and if, for that reason...
Or any other...

You feel this mission
is too dangerous

and you want to pull out...

All right...

You're free to walk
right out that door.

Hold it!

Get back here.

Now, you get them hands up.

You're both going to be deputies

whether you like it or not.

Now, let's take it from the top.

As a deputy of the county
of Mayberry

I swear to uphold
the laws and regulations

therein set to
by statute 4-2-6-c

county rules and regulations

put there by this date

city of Mayberry,
county of Mayberry thereon.

All right.

Now, this is going to be a
plainclothes operation.

I've got a brown suit
that's pretty plain.

Yeah, that would be good.

We've got to protect him
without him knowing.

Oh, it'll never work, Barney.

It'll never work.

Will you listen to me?

Will you just listen to me?

Will you do me that favor

and just listen to me?

I've got a dark gray one that...

Hold it!
You're at attention.

I didn't know that.

All right, now,
we've got to protect Andy

without him knowing it.

So just happen to be
where he is.

As far as he's concerned

everything is perfectly normal.

But every minute of every day

one of us will be standing by

to spring to his side.

Now, any questions?

Yeah.

Suppose this guy shows up,
pulls out a gun

bang-bang-bang...
Lets us have it.

What then? None of us is very
good at this sort of thing

including you, Barney.

You darn fool! Andy will
be there every minute.

He'll look out for us.

There. Gotcha.

Okay...

That's enough for me.

I'm bushed.
I'm going to bed.

Oh, uh, one more game, huh, and?

We've played five games.

It's nearly 11:00.

Oh, well, come on,
let's just play till 11:00.

Oh, all right.

What was that?

What was what?
I didn't hear any whistle.

Well, I got to go, and.

I thought you wanted
to play another game.

Well, it's getting kind of late.

That's what I said a minute ago.

I guess I didn't hear you.
I'll see you tomorrow.

Well, good night.
Uh, Barn... Yeah?

I sure am glad

you calmed down on that
Luke comstock business.

You didn't even bring
it up once this evening.

Oh, well...
Qué será, será.

Well, if you say so.

Hey, Barn...

Darn fool! Jumping
out at me like that!

Are you ready to take over?

I think so.

I noticed this brown suit's

got a little bitty white
thread running through it.

It might not be plain enough.

Come on over here
to the light...

That suit's fine!

Where's Otis?

He's around yonder in the back.

Remember, if anything
suspicious happens

you call me.

Right.

Hey, Barn?

I ain't got no phone out here.

You civilians just don't know

how to think
on your feet, do you?

Who's there?

So help me, Andy, I don't know
what you're talking about.

Now, don't think I don't think
it's a sweet idea, Barney,

but having gomer and Otis
out there all night freezing

is pretty ridiculous.

Gomer

out where?

You know out where.

Outside of my house.

My bodyguards.

I don't need them, Barney, okay?

I'm going to the post office.

Post office. Right.

Who are you signaling to?

All right...
You won't protect yourself

so w decided to protect you.

What's so terrible about that?

I appreciate that, Barn,
I really do.

Luke comstock
might not even show up.

Did you ever think of that?

It's the truth, Andy.

Otis seen him just
as plain as day.

A natty-looking fella with
a limp getting off the bus.

It could have been anybody.

A lot of fellas limp.

Yeah, but get this...

He was carrying a
leather shotgun case.

Oh, Andy.

And gomer seen the
shotgun case, too

and Alec the bus driver
mentioned it.

I don't care what you do

but me and my boys are
gonna be on our toes.

Now, Barney...

I don't want to discuss
it any further.

Barney, you just... take a lock.

Oh, Andy, I know
Barney's excitable

and he has a wild imagination

but this does sound serious.

It certainly couldn't hurt
to take some precaution.

Aunt bee, I don't know
what more I can do

besides just waiting.

Hello.

Speaking.

Uh-huh.

Uh... well, yeah,
that-that would be fine.

Goodbye.

Anything wrong?

No, no.

That was, uh, Luke comstock.

He's coming over.

Well, what did he say?

Nothing. Just said
he's coming over.

Uh, Opie, why don't you
give aunt bee a hand

and get some of these dishes
in the kitchen.

Sure, paw.

What are you going to do?

Why don't you and Opie

go over to Clara's
for a little bit?

You are going to call
Barney, aren't you?

No, I'd rather not.

Andy, maybe we ought...

Please, aunt bee,
now, I can handle this.

Better take
Opie's corduroy jacket.

There's a little nip out.

Well... I guess
you know best.

Paw?

Yeah, son?

Are you scared of the
trouble that's coming?

Uh, what makes you think
there's trouble coming?

You're sending me and aunt bee
over to miss Clara's.

Oh, well, I've just got
some business to talk over.

Are you scared, paw?

Well, I'm a little nervous.

Is this your first time?

No. I've been scared
a whole lotta times.

Really, paw?

Gosh, you sure couldn't tell it.

Here you are.

Come on, Opie.

Uh-huh.

Right, aunt bee.

Okay, I gotcha.

Now, Barney,
don't do anything rash

but perhaps
you could keep an eye on him?

You just leave it to big Barn,
aunt bee.

I'll handle it.

You just stay calm.

Everything's
gonna be fine and dandy.

Could get you real good, Otis.

What are you doing?

Don't you ever
point a gun at nobody.

Let me out of this.

You and gomer go.

Now, Otis...

Two's company, three's a crowd.

If you back out of this now,
I'm going to spread it all over town

that you're
a yellow-bellied chicken.

Do you want to be known
as a yellow

oh, I don't mind.

You shape up, mister.

Now...

Put that down!

I got you, Barn.

Settle down, gomer!

Now, let's shape up. Let's get with this.
This is important.

All right, I'll go

but I don't want to carry a gun.

Let's get moving.

Let's make this
look like a posse.

Come on. Hi-yah!

Hey, wait a minute...
I got an idea.

What?

I'll pick up some sandwiches

and meet you there later.

Evening, sheriff.

Luke.

Won't you come in?

My business won't take too long,
sheriff.

After that shooting scrape
we had

I laid on my back
in the hospital

for six whole months.

Well, that must have been
pretty rough on you.

I had a chance
to review my whole life

from when I was a boy
to where I was...

Lying with my leg game for life.

All I could think of was:

What a waste.

So I made up my mind
then and there

I was gonna make something
of myself, sheriff.

I began reading and studying

while I was
still in the hospital.

I developed quite an interest
in mathematics and electricity.

One thing led to another.

Today I own a chain
of television repair stores

in Cleveland.

I'm leading a good life.

Well, I, uh...

I certainly am
glad to hear that, Luke.

If you hadn't laid me up,
who knows where I'd be today?

You come all the way down here
to tell me that?

That and to bring you
a little gift of appreciation.

I know how you people down here
love to hunt

so I brought you this shotgun.

For Pete's sake, Andy, don't
just stand there... rush him!

Well, that'll bring down
them northern honkers.

They got a wingspread that big.

Too late... he's got
the drop on him.

What do we do?

What do we do?

I know... the lights.

Come on, back door.

Well, must be a fuse, Luke.

Come on out here.

What is this?

Uh, this is our Mayberry
knot-tying class.

It meets here every Tuesday.

That's a nice one
you got there, boys.

All right, all right!

How was I supposed to know?

I can't read somebody's mind,
for gosh sakes!

Comstock's an ex-con.
I took it from there.

Why don't we just
forget about it?

It's forgotten, Barn.

We talked about it all last
night and all this morning.

So far as I'm concerned,
the matter's closed.

No harm done. Good, good.
Let's just drop it.

I'm for that.

A man's been trained
for law work all his life,

his instincts take over.

Forget it.
It's forgotten.

Andy.
Yeah, Otis.

Listen, I'm sure sorry
about last night.

I didn't want to be a deputy
anyway.

Uh, it's okay, Otis.

Well, it's all Barney's fault.

Oh, will you hold it?
That subject's been closed.

We agreed not to talk
about it anymore.

Oh, I see.
Take a lock?

Take a lock.
Take a lock.

Well, it was all his fault.

Aw, shut up, Otis!

Well,
he... will you just shut up?!

Barney, the fact...

Take a lock, Andy.